Remember Me
by shayla1462
Summary: It s going to be a very difficult year. After the epic failure of the playoffs, both management and coaches were fired. Every year there are high expectations but, given how much the playoff failure cost, this year they are higher than ever. Anna is excited to be on her own to live her dreams. This PR internship with the Pittsburgh Penguins is the opportunity to apply everything
1. Chapter 1

Anna

"Everything is going to be fine" I tell myself as I look over my image in the mirror.

Critically, I take in my appearance and look for the flaws like my mom trained me. Growing up the Governor's daughter has taught me how to be in the public eye and look my part in the state's first family. I have learned how to dress, speak and act the part that I'm supposed to play.

Today I'm playing the part of a Public Relations Intern for the Pittsburgh Penguins. It's not my first day but it is the first day of training camp and the players' first day. We've been working hard for months to get ready and the day is finally here. I'm incredibly nervous which brings me back to the mirror.

My dark hair is pulled back in a chignon and not a hair is out of place. My makeup is light with mascara highlighting my bright green eyes. They are definitely my best feature. Small pearl earrings given to me by my parents when I turned eighteen are fastened to each ear. Then my gaze travels down my body and I sigh.

No matter what I do, I can't be as slim as my much skinnier sister and mother. I take after my dad's side of the family. I'm short and dumpy, or at least that's how I feel in comparison to them, no matter what I do. My honest nature makes me look with more candid eyes and I do see a lovely young woman staring back at me. My larger breasts make it difficult to find the button-down, conservative shirts that are the 'uniform' for my family, and a must wear, so I have them custom made for me. My waist is slim but I've never been able to lose weight in my hips so that I look willowy and delicate like my sister. These curves have always made me feel like Jessica Rabbit and not in a good way. At least I'm able to wear high heels like they're trainers and I could run for miles so they give me a little height and they do make my legs look good.

Ok, one last look over before I go. Hair, check. Make-up, cheek. Shirt, skirt and jacket, all pressed and spotless. Heels high, my only buck against the conservative nature of the rest of me, check. Ok, no more wasting time, I need to get to Consol.

I grab my purse and head out of my condo. Mom and dad insisted, since I don't have the Governor's security protection here, that I live in a secure building. In the underground, I climb into my Mercedes and again lament that I don't have an 'old beater' as the other interns like to call their cars. No matter how hard I tried, it spread that I'm the Governor of Pennsylvania's daughter and was given this internship through my dad's relationship with the Lemieux family. Of course no one even considered the fact that I graduated at the top of my class for my undergraduate degree and am now working on my masters. And they certainly don't care that I was given the job on my merit and that no one knew who I was when I applied and was offered the position.

I shake off my mood. It's not the first time that people have assumed I was simply handed opportunities and I'm sure it won't be the last. I work hard and strive to always do my best. It's important to me to earn my own way and dad always said that Pennsylvanians are known for being successful through hard work. It seems that dad's words are always whispering in my ear. From a young girl, both he and mom groomed my sister and me to be part of the perfect political family. Specifically, we are the perfect, Christian, right wing conservative family who earned what they have through hard work. It's no wonder I've gravitated toward PR.

I park at Consol in the garage with the other staff and take a deep breath before I leave my car. My mind is whirling and I need to get a handle on this anxiety before I can go in. I try to convince myself that I'm only nervous because it's the media's first day here and I have actual responsibilities with the players; but, I know what my anxiety is really about and can't let my mind go there for fear that I won't be able to leave this car.

I step out of my car, push back my shoulders and put on the carefully cultivated 'PR' smile that I've perfected over years and years of being photographed. Ok, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I. Can. Do. This.

I continue my mantra as I walk to the offices and put away my purse in my desk drawer.

"Anna? You're here early" I hear behind me.

I turn to look at the Director of PR, Jennifer. She has been an incredible mentor for me and I've already learned so much from her. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to care who I am or how I got here. She only cares that I work hard and do good work.

"I couldn't sleep" I answer her.

Jen laughs and says "I was like that the day of my first training camp too. It's really exciting when the players get here. It makes it real."

I chuckle and nod feeling instantly better.

"Since you're here, let's go over the itinerary and media plan for the day."

I follow Jen down the hall and into her office where her desk is covered with papers. Usually, this would make me think that she is completely disorganized. Image, even the way your desk looks, shapes people's perception of you. But, working with Jen has taught me that she knows exactly where everything is and this is simply her process.

There is a plan for every player and coach and interns are assigned. For the less popular players, a group of interns are assigned four or five players because the media attention is lesser than for the more prominent players. The coaches are going to be in demand this year more than ever since they are all new. Even the general manager is new and will need to be more available to the media. After what the press called an 'epic collapse' at the end of last year, there is more scrutiny on the players, coaches and management. More scrutiny means more press demand and more work for us. Jen clearly thrives on and loves it. I'm starting to see why.

"I've assigned you to Evgeni Malkin" Jen tells me. She chuckles when she sees that I'm stunned. Interns never get star players. "You can handle it Anna. Your experience with the media will be valuable to you. Also, Geno has become much more comfortable with the English press and is allowing more availability. He's agreed to be more available this year and we're hoping it can take some of the pressure off of Sid. I mean, the press will always want Sid but hopefully they won't gripe as much when he isn't available if they get Geno."

Just the mention of Sid's name has my heart rate pick up and anxiety build. I quickly mask my inner turmoil with a big smile.

"Thank you so much Jen. I won't let you down" I tell her.

"Of course you won't. You wouldn't have this assignment if you couldn't handle it. Just remember the protocols and processes we have in place. Primarily, remember to protect the player and kill the press with kindness. We are all going to spend a lot of time together over the season, especially on road trips, so we want to make sure there is harmony."

I nod and listen carefully. It's hard to believe that I'm doing what I always dreamed of and so early in my career. My father may have opened the door for me but I'm proving my worth through hard work and it's paid off. I am Evgeni Malkin's PR rep for the season. Wow.

For the next hour, Jen and I go over my first meeting with Geno, what questions to ask at that meeting and how to make him comfortable.

"That's all the business stuff. Personally, you're going to love Geno. He's a big teddy bear with a wicked sense of humour. He'll have you laughing all the time. Back to the responsibilities, there are additional ones with our star players. Every morning, you'll have a quick chat with Geno to remind him of any media responsibilities that day. These could be as simple as the scrum after practice or a game or as involved as fan meet-and-greets for sponsorship deals or Pens Foundation work. Geno doesn't want to know any further in advance than that day unless there is a unique reason to do so."

I'm taking lots of notes as she gives me these details. This internship is as important as anything I do in the classroom. Actually, it's more important because I get to do it and not just study it. I may not be creating the strategy or plan but I am in the trenches with execution of those strategies and plans. I now understand the phrase 'baptism by fire.' I'm going to learn my doing. The phrase 'sink or swim' comes to mind too. Good thing I'm an excellent swimmer.

Jen looks at her watch and says "ok, the guys are going to begin arriving soon."

I look at my watch and I'm surprised to see that we've been talking for ninety minutes. The rest of the interns must be here by now and are getting briefed by Jen's assistant.

Jen grabs some folders and I take mine before following her out. She checks her phone and speeds up slightly. She always likes to be anyplace at least fifteen minutes before our 'clients'; players, coaches etc.

Before I follow her into the large meeting room, I smooth down my skirt, straighten my jacket and take a deep breath. This is it. The season begins. And I'm going to see him.

Sidney

This is the first time in ten years that I've been nervous for the start of a season. It was only on the first day of camp for my first year that I was actually nervous like 'first day of school' nervous. This year it's a whole new nervousness.

The end of last season was another epic failure which is saying a lot given how the last few years have ended. This time the coaches and management both paid the price. Now, here we are, starting another year with the same expectations of winning another Cup.

I've been in Pittsburgh for a week meeting with Mike and the new coaching staff but it's my first day at Consol. So far we've had lunches, dinners and I've even had them at my house. I prefer privacy and quiet settings to get to know people. My mind goes back over dinner at the Lemieux's last night. I thought it was another 'dinner before the season' dinner. It was and we did talk about the upcoming season. It was during after dinner cigars that Mario asked me for the favour.

"Sid, I need some help with something" Mario said.

"Sure" I responded.

"A friend of mine, a good friend, has a daughter."

Inside, I rolled my eyes. Here's another girl of a friend that someone wants me to meet although, sure, it's usually Nathalie who is trying to fix me up.

"It's not what you think" Mario said on a chuckle. "Anyway, I think you've met the Governor of Pennsylvania here before."

"Governor Stanton?"

"Yes, anyway, his daughter Anna has an internship with us this year. I'd appreciate if you'd look out for her. You know how hard it can be starting a new job and in a new city. She's working on Jenn's PR team."

I looked at Mario carefully and it seemed like that was all he was asking for; some assistance for a friend's daughter.

"Sure, yeah, I can do that" I told him.

"Thanks Sid. You may have even met her since she's friends with Lauren. Her name is Anna."

"It doesn't sound familiar but I could have met her."

I didn't think about that conversation again until now as I'm walking into the locker room. I'll have to look for her later; but, right now, there are more important things to do and worry about.

I've seen most of the guys over the past few weeks either working out or just hanging out. A bunch of us have been skating at Southpointe for a few weeks. There are still a few guys that I haven't seen. Most of them are from out of the country and had to fly a long way here so they've just arrived over the last day or two.

"Hey, Sid!"

I turn and see one of those guys. Geno got in yesterday and probably went directly to bed when he got in. He is running late, as usual, but he's here.

We do the hand shake, half hug thing guys do, but it's genuine and warm between us. Geno and I have always had a special although unusual friendship. We can talk openly and honestly with each other and it's usually about hockey or the team. It's odd to be so close to someone professionally but we rarely spend time together when it isn't about hockey. It's a comfortable relationship that we've settled into over the years and I genuinely care about the Russian.

"Hey Geno, how was the flight?"

Geno hates the long flight from Russia to Pittsburgh. In fact, he hates flying period which is weird since we spend so much time on a plane travelling.

"You know" he says in his thick accent and mimes wanting to slit his throat.

We both laugh but are unable to continue talking when other guys see Geno. He's quickly enveloped by others and I continue to the change room.

I've craved this routine: parking at Consol and greeting the attendant; walking through the halls; talking with the guys as I walk through the player's lounge; and, finally, the familiar act of undressing and putting on my Pen's shorts and tee shirt. I even find pleasure in tying the laces of my trainers. The equipment guys have laid out my new hat for the season. I grab my protein shake, found beside where I just found my hat, and head to the player's lounge.

Drinking the shake, I listen in on the conversations around me. The guys are laughing and joking easily with each other. Of course Duper is at the centre of it. Everyone is glad to have him back although no one more than Duper himself. Last year's leg brake was incredibly bad luck and I've felt really guilty since he tripped over me. It wasn't my fault of course but that hasn't stopped me from feeling like shit. I feel a little bit of the weight lift off my shoulders having Duper here and ready to skate. He isn't allowed contact yet but he'll be on the ice with us.

Remembering that I want to check on my new helmet, I leave the guys and head back into the locker room to my stall. There I see Jen talking with Geno and girl I haven't seen before. She must be one of the new interns.

"Hi Sid" Jen says when she sees me.

I smile and keep going because I don't want to interrupt their conversation. I catch the girl giving me a small smile and then focusing back on Geno.

The helmet is perfect with the new design for the ears. I should be able to hear just as well as before but now I'll have more protection for my ears. I've always been an equipment geek. Over the years I'm sure I've given the Reebok design team headaches over modifications I've requested; but, I can't help it. If a slight adjustment gives me even a small advantage over the other team then I'm going to take it.

"Sid?"

I turn and see Jenr and the girl have left Geno and are now standing in front of my stall.

"Hi Jen" I say to her.

"I want to introduce you to one of our new interns. This is Anna" Jen says and gestures to the girl.

I look at Anna and smile. She is looking back at me and smiles confidently as she holds out her hand.

As I take her hand, I say "it's nice to meet you Anna."

"And you too Sid" she replies.

Her voice is soft but strong. I notice because the interns usually fall into one of two types: they are either huge hockey fans who can barely contain their excitement when they meet players and talk non-stop or they are huge hockey fans who pretend to be too cool to care but can't quite pull it off convincingly. This girl is different. She's dressed conservatively and her hair is pulled tightly back from her face. Her handshake is firm and her eyes meet and stay on mine. Considering that everything about her is conventional, the colour of her eyes takes me by surprise. They are a vibrant and compelling green that I've never seen before.

"Anna is going to be working with Geno this season" Jen tells me.

That's when I remember – Anna. This is the Governor's daughter and the favour that Mario asked of me. I can't remember if I'm supposed to let her know that he asked me so I keep it to myself.

"That's great" I tell her. "You'll have a lot of fun with Geno."

"I can already tell that" she says and smiles. Again, I'm surprised with how different she is from the other interns. There's no fawning or absolutely silence. "He's already joking around" she continues.

"Yeah, that's Geno" I reply.

"We should get into the meeting room. See you in a few Sid" Jen says.

"It was great meeting you Sid" the intern says.

"Great to meet you too" I tell her. Shit, what's her name? Ah. "Welcome to the Pens, Anna."

She smiles again and then walks with Anna out of the locker room. Mario probably doesn't need to worry. Anna is nice, friendly and nondescript but seems to be strong too. She should do well.

Anna

I did it. I stood in front of him, shook his hand, even smiled and chatted like a normal person. Sid had no idea I was a mess of nerves inside. The years of practice have helped me hone the very useful skill of projecting only the image that I want to project and hiding the real me.

When Jen and I enter the meeting room, I see that the other interns have arrived and are standing in a group at the back. They are whispering and some are even pointing as the players enter and find seats. This is exactly the behaviour that Jen told everyone to avoid. We're supposed to treat the players with respect and do whatever they need but don't act like fans. It's uncomfortable for the guys and when they aren't around the press or the public they like to just be guys and not deal with fan crap.

I see a few of the interns eyeing me and definitely noticing that I've entered with Jen. Over the past few months, I've overheard a few snide comments about being 'teacher's pet' when Jen pays attention to me or gives me assignments different than the others. I wish dealing with this was new to me but I'm too used to being different and having others treat me differently since I'm a Governor's daughter. It happened all through school, both boarding school and college, and I've learned to deal with it. Thank God I found Lauren Lemieux. She became my friend and protector from the other girls at school. I guess she's really my only trusted friend.

"Everyone settle down and we'll get started" the coach says from the front of the room.

The players all find chairs in the room and the coaches, trainers and others stand around the peripheral. Mike, the head coach, scans the room.

"Has anyone seen Geno?" he asks.

Everyone laughs. It's well known that Geno has challenges with time.

Before the laughter dies down, Geno walks in looking sheepish.

"Nice of you to join us G" Mike Kadar, the physical trainer, shouts.

Without missing a beat, Geno points at me and says "it's Anna's fault. She didn't make sure I come."

The room laughs again and I smile desperately holding in the embarrassment I feel. Geno sits down and everyone refocuses on the front of the room and the head coach.

"So that's how she gets the best assignments. She makes Geno 'come'."

I hear the snide comment whispered behind me from one of the interns. It has to be Meagan. She took an immediate dislike to me when we met and her dislike has grown every time I get something that she doesn't. I ignore her and the chuckling of a few others knowing that it's going to be a very long season. There is nothing to be won in confrontation and I refuse to cower in fear.

It is still a mystery how Meagan found out who my family is but she discovered it and told everyone else. Jen didn't even know until she saw me talking with Mario one day and I felt like I had to tell her why. I guess I could have lied to her or said that I'd met him through my father and left it vague by not saying who my father is; but, it felt like anything but full disclosure would be dishonest. That isn't the way I wanted our professional relationship to begin. I was ok with withholding the truth before she saw me and Mario together and being vague about my family but I couldn't straight out lie.

Jen was surprised at first. Later I found out that her surprise came because no one pressured her into taking me on as an intern. Usually, they hear that someone is someone else's daughter or son and someone in management would appreciate if they would consider them blah, blah, blah. Thankfully, my father agreed to let me apply on my own for this internship. I had to compromise and agree that, if they didn't take me, dad would call Mario. I was surprised that my father agreed to a compromise since he's a 'my way or the highway' kind of father. I hope that it's because he respects me wanting to stand on my own and earn the position.

"Now Jen will talk about our upcoming media programs" I hear Jim Rutherford say at the front of the room.

I don't know when he took over from the coach so I need to pay better attention.

For the new members of the team, Jen reviews some of the media processes that might be different than they've experienced with other teams. I'm proud of the ones that I helped craft for the new season. It feels great that my input was included.

Next Jen introduces the intern team and the specific team members assigned to specific players. She uses a group approach so that a few interns have a group of players that they are responsible for related to all media and marketing. This way if one is pulled away, either intern or player, than there is still coverage.

"Of course you've all heard from Geno that Anna will be corralling, I mean supporting him this year" Jen continues and the guys laugh.

"Good luck with that!" one of the yells out.

Jen finishes up and passes the meeting back to Jim. I guess no one needs to know that she is assigned to Sid. The captain would only get the best of the front office staff.

Jen gestures for us to leave the room and we file out quickly. The team has a series of meetings today per the schedule and we'll be brought back in a few times. There will be a short media scrum that we'll be involved with; our first one. I have a meeting later with Geno to talk about the season, his preferences and what he specifically needs from me. Thank God Jen will be there with me although she did help me prepare earlier. I almost said no when she offered, wanting to prove that I don't need the help, but that would have been crazy. This is my first job in PR and my first meeting with the NHL all-star. While Jen has prepared me well, I know that I am inexperienced and was grateful to accept the help.

The PR team crowds into an elevator and heads to our next meeting in the media room. This is where the media set up their computers and have office equipment available to them. It's down the hall from where formal press conferences are conducted and only a short elevator ride away from the locker room. When we walk in, the room quiets momentarily and then breaks into applause and shouts of congratulations. I'm confused until I remember that this is the first time most of them have seen Jen since she had her baby. I heard that they had a baby shower for her before the play offs started. You can definitely feel not only the respect but the affection they have for her.

This aspect of the media is very strange to me. The political media are always looking for an angle, a scoop or a sniff of a scandal. There isn't respect in the room never mind friendship. The extreme distrust of the political media and politicians is one of the reasons that I went into PR. I thought that I could do it differently and, in some very small way, bring back respect that clearly left after the Nixon administration and has never been seen since.

Jen accepts the hugs and handshakes as she walks to the front of the room. We follow her but stay to the side of the room and wait for her lead. When the room quiets, she talks about the team, new players, coaches and management. She then introduces us as she did with the players. The whole thing is over very quickly and then we are released to go back to the offices. We all have lots to do today in preparation for our first media scrum and the upcoming training camp.

I sit at my tiny cubicle and open up the file with my questions for Geno. As I scroll through them on my tablet, I feel the nerves wash over me again. I can't believe that I have my own player to support in my very first year. It still doesn't feel real. I can't help that niggling doubt that Jen only did it because she found out my connection to Mario. Quickly, I push it aside. She never would have been that risky with the Pens PR. I'm just being silly. This is the challenge that I wanted and sought for myself. I'm going to be successful. I'm going to do well. This is going to be the best year of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Sidney

I know that it's part of being a professional athlete but I'm tired of talking to doctors and nurses today. All day there have been bodily fluids to provide and body parts to be tested. They test all the main muscles groups for a hockey player as well as any part that you've ever injured. For me, that includes cognitive testing. I hate being reminded of that time in my life. It was the darkest period I have ever gone through in my life and I hate being reminded of the helplessness of a concussion.

As teams, we meet with the coaches and hear about plays and plans for that part of the game. The defense and forwards meet separately to discuss five-on-five play. We go over position playing and responsibilities for our role. When that's done, we break into power play and penalty kill teams. Everyone will need to be responsible to jump into every position but we'll start practicing within our key roles first.

I'm so happy to have Kuni and Duper healthy and on my line. We have to learn plays that the new coaching team has created and they are very different than the past in a fundamental way. Dan wanted stretch passes first to take advantage of our speed. Mike is taking a different approach. If there is a breakout situation then he wants us to take advantage of it; but, primarily, he wants us to plan, regroup and look east-west for passes if one is needed. The D will run the play up the ice like the quarterback setting up the play. It is going to be a big adjustment for some of us. I know Geno isn't happy with it and I can't really disagree with him. I like a fast game. But, over and over in my head, I remind myself that what we've been doing isn't working so we have to try something new.

Before the next meeting, I detour into the player's lounge to grab a bottle of water. That's when I see that girl from earlier. Shit, what's her name? The intern from PR. Governor's daughter.

When she notices me, I say "hi."

"Hi" she replies with a smile.

She glances around which makes me think that she's lost but probably unsure if she should ask for help. Even if someone isn't intimidated by the players, as this girl clearly isn't, they often don't know how to act.

"Are you looking for someone or something?" I ask her.

"To be honest" she begins "yeah. I am trying to find my way to the trainers' offices but I can't remember which hall it is. We spent a lot of time in the offices over the last few months but I haven't been down here since the tour."

I chuckle "the rooms all look the same, I get it. If you head down that hallway" I point "then you'll see the trainer's office on the right."

"Thanks Sid. You're a lifesaver."

She gives me big smile and I remember her name.

"You're welcome. See you later Anna."

She turns and heads off in the right direction now. I can't help myself from watching her walk away. She is very different than the girls I usually like. Anna is curvy and I like my girls athletic. She has dark hair and I like blonds. She is clearly pressed, tucked and put together in a way that took a lot of effort. My girlfriends are the shower-and-go kind of girls. But there is something compelling about her smile and confidence.

"Sid?"

I hear Duper call me and I continue toward him on way to the weight room. It's time to warm up for fitness testing. Fuck. Pens TV is here to take video of us during testing. This is one of the 'advances' that I hate and makes me wish for the old days when you could work out or practice without worrying about someone taking a picture or video of you. At least they are part of the Pens organization so I know they won't use anything horrible. I just hate that I have to be on guard of my behaviour when I only want to have fun or focus on my job.

After warming up, the first thing we do is body fat testing and get weighed. When I get off the scale, five pounds less than previous years, Geno hears that I'm down five pounds.

"You sick Sid? Bad summer?"

I shake my head and laugh at him.

"We all can't be as big as you are Geno" I yell back

Everyone in hearing distance laughs. Geno works out hard but can't seem to put on muscle. He's strong but will always be skinny. It's a running joke that he can't put on bulk no matter what he does.

The next hour goes by quickly with lots of sweat. Pull ups, push ups, jumps, leaps. It's something to just get through every year. I know that the trainers have my results from the past nine years in front of them to compare but they don't need to tell me. I know exactly where I was when I started last season and every season before and exactly where I am now. My training regime is specific, focused and works from the end goal backwards. At the end of the season, after my vacation, Andy O'Brien, my trainer, and I meet and determine my training goals and then create my plan. This year I wanted to slim down while maintaining power in my legs and core. It worked. I'm down five pounds and it shows in my skating. It feels odd to think about getting older but this is the prime of my career and I need to make the most of this time. This is the time to focus on winning another Cup.

Anna

Damn it. Jen has been called into a meeting with Jim Rutherford so I'm now meeting with Geno alone. In my head, I know I'm ready. I have my questions and know what I need to tell him and Jen has confidence in me. Now I need to have confidence in myself.

Maybe I'm still shaken up from seeing Sid earlier today when I was trying to find the trainer's office. I clearly got lost and completely disoriented. Of course that's when I see Sid. It took me a moment but I pulled myself together and managed to be composed. I keep telling myself that it will get easier, seeing him every day, and I just need to brazen my way through it. If the 'liberal media' beating up my father every day in the media didn't throw me off my game then I can handle seeing Sid every day. It has to get easier, right?

I shake off my anxiety and pull my brain back from taking a trip back in time. I'm meeting with Geno now and I need to focus. This is a great opportunity and I'm going to take advantage of it. Geno is going to love me and the media will continue to love him. This is going to be a great season.

I walk into the player's lounge and Geno isn't there. I'm not surprised given the amount of joking at the meeting earlier about Geno never being on time. It looks like I'll definitely have to manage him.

"Are you looking for Geno?"

I turn and see Marc-Andre Fleury, the team's number one goalie, behind me drinking an apple juice.

"Yeah but if I remember correctly from the team meeting, Geno has challenges with time, right?"

Marc laughs and says "he does. You'll spend a lot of time this season looking at your watch and wondering where Geno is."

I walk over to where Marc is sitting and he gestures for me to join him so I do.

"Do you have any tips for me?" I ask him.

"Well, he's onto the strategy of telling him to be somewhere early so that won't work."

"Darn, that was going to be my first plan" I tell him.

"Don't bother" he says with a big smile.

It's hard not to like Marc immediately. His smile draws you in immediately and he is sweet to chat with me while I wait for Geno.

"There's papa" I hear a woman's voice behind us.

When I turn, I see a beautiful woman set down a toddler who immediately runs as fast as her little legs will carry her to Marc. He stands, catches her in mid run and twirls her over his head. The love between father and daughter is beautiful.

"Hi" the woman says to me. "I'm Veronique."

"Hi, nice to meet you" I reply. "I'm Anna."

This is Marc's wife and a key member to the wives' club. She does a lot for the organization and raises a lot of money for charity. I've also been told that she is incredible sweet.

"And this is Stella" Marc says as he kisses his daughter's cheek and she giggles.

"Hi Stella" I say to the beautiful little girl.

"Say hi to Anna" Marc says to his daughter.

"Anna, Anna, Anna" she sings and claps her hands. "Elsa, Elsa, Elsa" she continues.

I must look as confused as I feel because Veronique laughs.

"She's referring to the movie Frozen. It's her favourite and the sister's names are Anna and Elsa" she explains.

"Ah" I reply and turn to Stella. "Yes, my name is Anna too but I'm not a princess."

She giggles and then cuddles into her dad.

"Ok, let me get my girls home" Marc says.

The family grabs their things and wave as they head down the hall. Once again I'm left waiting for Geno. Thankfully I don't have to wait too much longer.

"Anna" he says and flops down on the couch next to me. "Long day."

"Not that long. I suspect that they are going to get a lot longer when the season begins" I reply.

"Yeah, especially travel."

"Right" I say. "Unfortunately, Jen was pulled into something and is unable to join us. I hope that is ok with you."

"We don't need her, right?" he winks at me.

I pause for a minute and process everything I've been told about Evgeni Malkin and what I'm seeing in front of me. He definitely is a jokester, and a flirt, but he also seems very harmless.

"If you don't mind than neither do I" I tell him. "To begin, I'd like to talk what kind of relationship you want with the media."

"None, can you make that happen?"

"No, unfortunately for you, so let's talk about how we can make this work for you and the media. I understand that are willing to give more interviews and more access to the media this year. Why the change?"

Geno just stares at me making no move to actually answer the question. It feels like he's studying me or trying to figure me out. Even under his scrutiny, I maintain the slight smile and pleasant expression that gives nothing away while I wait him out. Eventually he gives me a small smile.

"I speak better English now" he shrugs and looks at me hesitantly.

It feels like this is an admission that Geno hasn't made before. I've heard that he's been reticent about the press in the past because of what he considers his poor English. It seems like that is true and that he feels better about it now.

"That's great Geno. We can definitely provide additional access for after practice and game interviews. What about the community work? I know that there are team events like Pens and Pins and Skates and Plates." I can't help wondering who names these things. "Do you want to do more personally?"

"Stupid names" he says as if he's reading my mind. "Yeah, I have my own, um" and I know that he's struggling for the word.

I take a chance and ask "foundation?"

"Yeah, right, a foundation. I have a foundation. Most work in Russia but want to do more in Pittsburgh."

"Ok, do you have a particular focus for your foundation? Is it children, sports, an illness?"

"Kids" he says with a big smile. "I still big kid, so" he shrugs.

Ok, he is completely disarming. A big goof comes to mind. I already love him.

"I can talk to the Pens Foundation and see if you can partner with them on an event or some work they are planning. This way you don't have to build something from scratch."

"From scratch?" he looks puzzled.

"Um, you don't have to do everything yourself because they already have people planning it and have the experience of doing it before. If it's your first time, then it's easier to partner with another group who know what they're doing so that you don't' need to figure it out alone."

"Oh, ok."

We talk more about the kind of kids charities he interested in and where he would like to focus his time and money. It's easy to see that he has a big heart while still having a healthy ego like all pro athletes seem to have about their abilities.

"Ok, we done?" Geno asks.

"Just one more thing. I'd like to have a quick chat with you at the beginning of every day. We can do it as your drive in or as soon as you get here. We'll review the day's schedule and any media or public obligations. I suspect you are an 'in the moment' kind of guy and don't like to plan too far ahead."

Geno laughs and not just a chuckle but a full belly laugh. It takes him a few minutes to calm so that he can speak.

"You know me already huh? Ok, we talk when I drive in."

"Great" I tell him and stand.

He stands with me and then awkwardly pats my shoulder. Yeah, he is a big, loveable goof.

"I see you tomorrow" he says.

"I'll talk to you in the morning" he's already forgotten. "What time do you leave for the rink?"

We confirm a time and he gives me his cell number. After he leaves the room, I can't help doing a small 'happy boogie dance' since it went so well.

"Hi" I hear behind me.

Absolutely mortified that someone saw me, I turn around and then I want to die. Of course it's him. Seriously? I quickly replace my broad smile with my professional one. I can't believe he saw me doing my 'happy boogie dance'.

"Hi Sid" I reply and quickly gather my things.

I think I'm going to get away easily and maybe he didn't see me after all.

"You had a good meeting with Geno I guess" he tells me.

Shit, I have no luck. He saw me.

"Yes" I reply and try to look calm rather than completely embarrassed and ready to die.

"Ok then" he replies and I can see that he's trying to hold in a chuckle.

"Yes, ok then. Is there any way that you could forget that you saw that? Not my most professional self" I tell him reminding myself to brazen out the embarrassment and fear.

The smile leaves his face quickly and he gives me a faux-puzzled look.

"Forget about what?" he asks.

I clue into his kindness at pretending he didn't see me.

"Thank you" I tell him and walk out of the room with my head held high. Oh God, I want to just die.

Sidney

"What do you guys think of the new interns?" I hear one of the WBS guys ask.

A group of us have gone out for dinner after the first day of camp. It's mostly the single guys or those with girlfriends not in town. The family guys usually go home directly after practice.

"There are a couple hot ones" I hear another guy agree.

"What's your girl like G?" Sutter asks him. "She looks really up-tight."

"She's nice, good" Geno answers.

The talk turns back to which intern is the hottest with raunchy examples. As the guys debate body parts, and I secretly pray no one in the restaurant can hear us, I glance at Geno. I would have expected him to crack a joke about his intern. Shit, what's her name? But he only made a quick comment and has been quiet since. This is unusual for Geno.

While the guys are all engrossed in their 'hot or not' conversation, I lean towards Geno beside me.

"Everything ok G?" I ask him.

"Yeah, Sid, good."

There's something a little off there. I try one more time.

"Everything ok with" shit what's her name? Ah "Anna?"

Geno looks at me now and replies "she's good. Not like the others. She's going to be good. I like her."

I raise my eyebrows and give him a 'really? look.

"Not like that" he says quickly. "She's not like others, that's it. Nice."

Hmm, maybe if Geno has someone he likes and trusts on his PR team then he'll be more confident talk to the press and in public.

After dinner some of us go to a movie. I know that we're recognized but thankfully no one asks for pictures or autographs. After the movie, most of us go home. Tomorrow we're on the ice and we want to be fresh. A couple of the WBS guys decide to go to a bar instead of home. They'll learn to make better decisions or they'll never make it to the NHL. Even when I told them I was going home to get a good night sleep before tomorrow, they didn't clue in that they should do the same thing. Well, almost all of them. Olli decided not to go to the bar. That's a kid who has his eyes on the prize. God, when did I become so 'old' that I refer to him as a kid?

On the way home, I call Taylor and hear about her day. She's in her last year at Shattucks and will be the starting goalie this year. She split the starts with another girl last year but that girl graduated and Taylor has the spot to herself.

As I hear her talk about that day's scrimmage, I remember the only time we practiced with each other this past summer. I seriously think we both forget how brutal it is to be on the same ice so we try again each summer. It only takes once for us to remember. The arguments started fifteen minutes in and resulted in some very heated words. She said I didn't warm her up enough before I started shooting wristers. Why does she need so much time to warm up?

"Sid?"

"Sorry Tay, my mind was wondering. Remember our practice this summer?" I ask her.

"Remember? I think mom has PTSD from hearing us argue."

We both laugh. We haven't lived together for fifteen years since I went away to play hockey but I still miss her every day. It's when we talk like this and remember our shared life that I miss my sister, a lot. I'm really hoping that she chooses a college on the east coast; although, with all the traveling I do during the season, it's not like I'd be able to visit her a lot.

"I gotta go Sid, love you."

"Love you too brat."

Next I talk to mom and dad. I always talk to my dad after the first day of camp. He'll come to visit during the preseason but always stays away during camp. Training camp is the time for the guys to bond as we get ready for the season. There are always new team mates, and this year there is a whole new coaching staff too, and we need the time to get together as one team.

I say goodbye as I drive into my garage. The house is quiet, very quiet, and I once again wonder if I should have bought it. The house is exactly what I've always wanted complete with the man-cave in the basement. But, it's very large and empty when I'm alone. Often I have my parents or various friends visiting, and then the house is perfect, but now, I feel lonely.

I really need to get a good night sleep so I head up to my bedroom, turn on the Pirates' game and get ready for bed. The Pirates are in the playoffs this year and it's exciting the whole city. We plan on going to a game next week, a few of the guys, and it should be a great game. They're playing the Yankees.

A commercial advertises the Pens upcoming season on ROOT Sports. The season really is almost here. There are high expectations, as usual, and a lot of stress on me to lead the way. I'm used to the pressure and actually accept that responsibility much easier than I did before the concussion. That injury put everything into perspective for me.

A Victoria Secret commercial comes on next and I'm reminded, painfully, that it's been four months since I've had sex. The vacation with my on-again-off-again girlfriend was back in June. We've both used the excuse of how busy we are with our careers and traveling in different parts of the world for why we've never tried to keep it going. Her modeling career has taken off over the past two years. I guess it says something that it hasn't bothered me that we basically only get together for sex.

I shake my head and focus back on the Pirates. Women are a distraction that I can't afford right now. The only kind of relationship I want involves sex and limited talking so that I can focus on what's truly important right now: hockey. So why does an image of Anna dancing in the player's lounge go through my mind?


	3. Chapter 3

Anna

There is so much to do. The first on ice practice is today and it will be the player's first official availability to the media. So why am I in the stands watching practice when I should be focusing on the first interview Geno will give? I know exactly why I'm watching practice and he's currently moving down the ice at lightning speed. How can Sid have so much power and yet skate so fluidly, almost gracefully? No one can catch up to him when he's in full speed although they try. He even leaves Kris Letang in the dust and he's the best defenseman on the team.

"I love watching the first practice" I hear beside me.

I turn and immediately stand up when I see who it is.

"Mr. Lemieux, it's so nice to see you" I tell him.

"Please sit back down Anna. May I join you?"

I sit as he's requested and gesture to the seat next to me. We both turn our attention to the ice after he sits down.

"The first skate is always fascinating to me" he begins. "There's a mix of fun and excitement from returning players who know they have a spot on the team. Of course the young guys, or those on a tryout, attempt to look as loose as the others but there is always intensity about them because there is so much uncertain."

"I've never understood the phrase 'organized chaos' until I sat down here" I tell him. "The ice is crowded with players and coaches, and they should be bumping into each other, but everyone seems to know exactly what to do and where to go. Organized chaos."

Mario chuckles and replies "that's a great way to describe it. How are you doing Anna? I understand that you'll be working closely with Geno this year."

I briefly wonder how he knows. Is he keeping track of me to give my dad updates? Am I getting my own player this year because Mario told Jen to do it? It is odd that an intern works this closely with a star player.

I make sure my voice is steady, with none of the uncertainty I actually feel, when I say "yes I am. It is a wonderful opportunity and I'm so grateful that Jen has faith in me."

"It's well placed, I'm sure" he says cryptically.

"That's very kind of you Mr. Lemieux, thank you." I look at my watch and realize I've been here for thirty minutes, crap. "I'm sorry but I really need to head back to the office. It was nice to see you sir."

"Anna, please call me Mario" he says and stands to let me past him. "See you later."

I smile and try not to rush down the aisle and to the ramp. I have a few things to do before Geno comes off the ice and the media are let in.

"Is that how you get everything you want?" I hear the snide comment behind me and know that it's Meagan. "Are you blowing him or just getting preferred treatment because your daddy and Mario of buddies?"

I take a deep breath and compose myself before I turn to her.

"Meagan, neither are true and you know that. If you'll excuse me, I have a few things to do before the first scrum."

I don't wait for her response. Instead I walk as quickly as I can without rushing to the elevator. Thankfully, she doesn't follow me.

It kills me to swallow back my anger but there is nothing to be gained by antagonizing her further. She is going to make stuff up and lash out regardless of what I say or do so I might as well take the high road. The last thing my family needs is for something I say in anger to get into the press.

In the elevator I give into a moment and slump against the wall. Why couldn't I have just one thing that is mine where I don't have to worry about everything I do or everything I say? I guess it's only going to get worse if dad decides to run for president. He's never ruled it out and I know my mother wants that for him. Since we arrived in the Governor's mansion, I swear that she's dreamed of being the First Lady and dad's next step up the political ladder.

The PR area is buzzing as everyone gets ready for the first media scrum. I gather my things and walk to Jen's office where she asked us to meet her before the scrum begins. There are a couple of people there already and the rest follow me in. Meagan is the last one to join and she sneers at me before smiling at Jen.

Jen begins "ok team, it's the first media scrum of the new season. You all know your assignments. We talked about it a few times but it will still be surprising if you've never seen a scrum before. The reporters tend to be quiet when the players are answering questions since so many of them are taking their own video or audio to post on line. It will still feel like a swarm of bees has taken over the locker room. There will be lots of buzz. Don't let it rattle you. Everyone is ready for this so just remember that, ok?"

We all nod and agree.

"Ok then" Jen says gathering her own portfolio and phone. "Let's go!"

I feel the butterflies in my stomach grow as we enter the elevator to get to ice level. We all cram in and are uncharacteristically quiet. Maybe I'm not the only one who is nervous.

As we exit the elevator, Jen says "we're going to go into the locker room as the guys come off the ice. When they're ready, I'll go get the reporters and you should stand near your player." She stops and looks at us. "One last thing to know if you've never been around hockey players. In baseball and basketball locker rooms, you smell sweat and definitely know that you're around pro athletes. A hockey locker room is very different. The smell will be overwhelming and is definitely disgusting. It is more than body odor. The equipment becomes sweaty and gross and it only gets worse as the season goes on. I'd love to say you get used to it but you don't. You just learn to ignore it."

We all chuckle, and the hockey players in the group nod in agreement, and then we're ready to go.

When Jen opens the door to the locker room, I immediately know what she's talking about. The smell hits me in waves as I walk into the room. There is a bin in the middle of the room where the guys are tossing their jerseys. They are all in different stages of undress. Some are taking off their gear and some are taking off skates. I can't believe that I never thought about this before. I'm going to be in a room with men potentially half dressed. Surely they don't get completely undressed here. Secretly, I wouldn't mind seeing hot athletes in very little but it wouldn't be good if my parents heard about it.

As if drawn by a magnet, my eyes find Sid. He's taken off his jersey and helmet and is currently unstrapping his equipment. His hair is soaked with sweat and has gone curly. He has pink in his cheeks either from exertion or the cold of the ice.

"Anna!" I hear Geno call me and turn my attention to him. "You're going to save me, no?"

I smile as I walk to him. He is also a sweaty mess and adorable.

"No one told me that I have to save you" I tell him with mock concern.

"You funny" he says and takes off the remaining gear from his arms.

"Ok gentlemen, two minute warning" Jen yells to the room and walks out the door.

"Geno" I begin. "Last minute reminder: you're excited about the new coaches and the new plays. It's going to be a great year and you are really happy to be skating with the team again. Ok?"

"Yes" he replies with his slight lisp.

In a moment of weakness, and maybe self-doubt, I ask "too much? Am I driving you crazy?"

"No, it good" he tells me and smiles.

We can't continue our conversation because the doors open the room quickly fills. I step back and let the reporters surround him. Here goes nothing.

The first question is thrown out and Geno answers it easily. Then there is a second and third question. He handles it well using some of the phrases I gave him. The pride I feel is unexpected. He's actually using what I gave him to answer question of the press and they like it. Wow.

It's about six questions in when there is a potential issue. A reporter asks a question and Geno looks confused. It must be one of the words that he doesn't understand and I have no idea what to do. I can't jump in because that will embarrass Geno and I'm supposed to not be seen or heard. Will Geno remember what I told him to say if he doesn't understand a question? He looks nervous now. Did I do a good enough job preparing him?

"Would you repeat the question please?" Geno asks.

He remembered! Thank God. As predicted, when the reporter repeats the question, he also expands and rephrases it slightly giving Geno the opportunity to understand the meaning. Geno answers it easily now.

I check my watch and say "two more questions."

The reporters follow my direction and they leave Geno's side after the two more questions. Geno looks at me when he's alone and raises his eyebrows silently asking me how he did. I give him a huge smile and, on a whim, wink. He gives me a big laugh and begins taking off the rest of his clothes. Uncomfortable with him undressing in front of me, and even more when I notice that the rest of the guys are too, I turn to leave quickly and bump directly into Sid.

"Whoa" he says and grabs my arms to steady me.

"Oh, sorry" I tell him.

"No problem. How did it go?" he asks me.

"I think it went well. Geno and the reporters seem happy so I guess it was good."

"That's great" he replies.

We stand there looking at each other for a few moments. I'm very aware of how close we're standing and the slight pressure of Sid's fingers on each of my arms. He's very sweaty and, if I have to admit it, he's kind of smelly too; but, it's very easy to overlook. A sweaty Sidney is a gorgeous Sidney.

The moment is over as quickly as it began and he steps back and releases me simultaneously.

I leave the locker room and walk down the hall to the big meeting room. Jen asked us to meet her there when the scrum was over. The other interns are already there since their scrums lasted less time than Geno and Sid's. I'm saved from any snide remarks by Jen following me shortly after.

"Ok everyone. How did that go?" she asks us.

We're all quiet for a few moments but then Steve, one of the huge Pen's fans, begins.

"It was awesome. Just, awesome."

Steve's enthusiasm has everyone chuckling and then others jump in with their assessment.

"I think it went well too" Jen says. "There a few adjustments we need to make but they're very minor. We'll talk about them tomorrow morning before practice. Now, everyone has their assignments for the event tomorrow night. We have a lot of our key financial sponsors at the event and it needs to go flawlessly. Does anyone have questions about what you need to do today?" She pauses and then continues "ok, let's go."

I hang back hoping for a few moments with Jen to talk about the scrum. I'm glad to see that she hangs back too.

"What did you think? How did it go?" Jen asks me before I can ask her thoughts.

"I think it went well" I begin. "Geno had one question that he didn't understand but he used the trick of asking for a repeat and that did it for him."

"That's good. It looked like you had everything under control and you ended on time perfectly."

"Thank you. When I met earlier with him, Geno said that he wants to do something with his foundation here in Pittsburgh. I thought he could partner with the Pens Foundation or the Lemieux Foundation for an event. This would get him involved but not overwhelm him and his foundation with starting something from scratch."

"That's a great idea Anna."

I can't help the pride I feel at Jen's compliment.

"What do I do next to help him?" I ask.

I'm disappointed when she says "let me talk to the directors of both foundations and see if there is an opportunity to match Geno with one of their events."

I smile and say "thank you" even though I want to ask why I couldn't do it myself.

Jen gathers her things and my phone rings so we say goodbye and I answer it. It's Lauren.

"Hi L" I say.

"Hi A" she replies. I can hear the smile in her voice. "How did the first scrum go?"

It's just like her to remember that I had my first media scrum today.

"It went well. Geno was great and I think he felt really good about it. How are you doing? You've got a game tonight, right?"

"Yeah we do. Don't brush it off A. If Geno felt good about it than you prepared him well."

"It did go really well" I reply.

We talk about her upcoming game some more and the big event tomorrow night. A little bit later, she has to get to class so we say goodbye.

The hall is empty when I enter it. The guys have either left or are working out. I'm told that there are always a couple of players who don't come to camp in their best shape and have to continue working out during camp.

I see no one as I wait for the elevator to take me back up to the offices. Thankfully I don't have to wait long. Just as the doors are about to close completely, I hear someone yell "hold the elevator please."

On instinct, I reach for the open button and manage to catch it in time. I look up to find myself face to face with Sid. He looks good, fresh from the shower and smelling of soap and what must be uniquely him. Why is the sense of smell so powerful in bringing back memories? And just like that, my mind starts to wander but is brought back by Sid.

"Hey Anna, thanks for holding the door" Sid says.

I force myself to smile and focus on him to keep my mind in the moment.

"You're welcome" I reply.

Before either of us can say more, the elevator lurches, stops and the lights go off.

Sidney

I grab for the wall as the elevator lurches and everything goes dark. It takes only a few seconds for the emergency light to come on and we're bathed in an eerie yellow light.

Anna is grabbing at the wall too but otherwise doesn't look disturbed by what is happening. She looks at me and simply lifts her eyebrows.

"I didn't do it" I joke with her.

She smiles and then chuckles. The low, almost sultry sound is a very unexpected from her and hot as hell.

"I didn't think you did" she tells me. "But, now that you mention it, this happened after _you_ stepped into the elevator."

I can't help laughing too.

We both take out our phones and try calling someone.

"I don't have a signal" she tells me.

"I think I do" I reply and call Dana, our equipment manager.

"Hey Sid, you still here?" Dana asks when he answers his phone.

"Yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator. What's going on?" I ask.

"Seems like the whole building is having a power outage. We're on back-up generator for the essential systems.

"I guess elevators aren't essential huh?"

"Guess not Sid. Everything ok? Other than being stuck in an elevator of course."

"Yeah. Can you let Jen know that her intern, Anna, is here with me?"

"Sure Sid. I'll let you know when I find out what's going on."

"Ok, thanks."

I turn to Anna after disconnecting with Dana.

"The whole building is out but they don't know why. Dana, the equipment manager, said he'd let me know when they know more."

"Ok."

For a brief moment, I see unease or fear cross over her face. Is she afraid of elevators or enclosed spaces? Maybe she doesn't like being stuck in here with me.

"I guess we're going to be here a while. Might as well get comfortable" I say and slide to sit down on the floor. Anna looks at me, the floor and then her phone. I hear a soft sigh as she slides down the wall at the opposite side of the elevator. It's slightly awkward since her skirt is tight but she manages to do it gracefully. Is everything this girl does perfect? Even in an elevator, trapped, she is still composed and calm. Maybe I didn't really see that fear on her face earlier.

"Do you think that essential systems include the ice?" she asks me.

I look at her and she looks like she's seriously asking me. I'm thinking of how to answer the question – I mean they would take care of people before the ice right? – when I see her lips twitch slightly. The longer I stare at her, the more she has trouble maintaining her calm until she finally gives up and starts laughing.

It's infectious and I join her. As she laughs, the calm and composed demeanor slips and I feel like I'm seeing the real Anna and she's beautiful. Her bright green eyes grow even brighter and crinkle at the corner. For the first time, I notice that she has a small dimple in her right cheek.

"At least practice is over and most of the guys are gone" I tell her.

"Did you have meetings upstairs?" she asks me.

"Yeah, some sponsorship thing I think. Jen wants to give me an update for the event tomorrow. There are a few people that I need to meet specifically."

"Oh, I guess that happens often to you" she says and must notice that I look confused. "That people want to speak with the Pen's captain and best player in the world" she explains.

She says it so simply, so straightforwardly, that she isn't trying to pry information out of me or get me to say negative things. It seems like she isn't asking me a question at all but rather making a statement. She gets it. I don't know how this girl, who I've known for less than two days, actually understands the stress that I'm under and the demands on my time. Then I remember my conversation with Mario.

"I would imagine that you've experienced that yourself" I tell her. Now she looks confused so I continue "as a governor's daughter. People must want to talk to you because of who you are."

"It's usually the opposite" she says softly.

It's almost too soft to hear. She glances up at me and seems surprised by her own words. Quickly, the calm and composed face is in place again.

"How did you know that I'm the governor's daughter?" she asks me.

Shit. Mario doesn't want her to know that he asked me to look out for her.

"I probably heard it from someone" I tell her quickly. "You are, right?"

"Yes" she replies softly and looks down at her hands.

I feel like I've said something wrong but I really don't know what. Maybe she doesn't like being reminded of her family connections. I know that Mario wouldn't hire her because of that but maybe others don't and assume nepotism. I need to change the subject.

"Have you graduated or is this internship part of your program?" I ask her.

Changing the subject works because she smiles at me.

"I have my undergraduate degree and will do my master's degree next" she tells me.

"So this is part of your masters?"

"Yes it is. Most students in the program will do a semester long internship. I wanted to do it with a sports team so I'm taking the year."

"Why a sports team?" I ask her, truly interested in her. I started asking questions to be polite but she lights up when she talks about her schooling and I love her smile with that dimple.

"I couldn't do politics for obvious reasons" she begins and I nod understanding.

It would probably be some kind of conflict with her father.

"That makes sense" I reply.

"I also wanted something that wasn't just a nine-to-five job. If I want to learn than I need to be immersed in it. That led me to think of sports. I was too late for baseball season and football isn't as busy as I'd like. The NHL plays eighty-two games. That's a lot of practices and games before you even get to the playoffs. I also figured that if I chose a Pennsylvania team than there's no issue for my father. So here I am."

That is the most I've heard her speak and it's fascinating to watch. She talks with her hands when she's excited and she clearly enjoys being here.

"That's great. You'll definitely get a lot of experience here. Jen obviously has faith in you since she assigned you to Geno."

"She's incredible Sid. I mean, I have learned so much already and the season hasn't even started. Jen is really smart and very nice. It's more than I even thought it would be and I was very excited to get the internship."

She grins at me and it transforms her again. Anna goes from 'buttoned up, professional' to 'young, excited girl' as she talks about how much she is enjoying herself.

"What about the other interns?" I ask.

"It's a great team" she tells me.

Hmm, I know a non-answer when I hear one. I've given enough that I can recognize them easily. I really want to ask her about it and learn more but we only just met and I don't want to be inappropriate or upset her.

"How was your first day of camp?" she asks me.

"It's always great to be back with the guys. The summer seems to go by really fast when you're a kid and out of school. When you're a hockey player, you enjoy the summer but it's mostly spent counting down the days until training camp."

"I didn't realize there were so many meetings involved in camp. I thought you would mostly have on ice and off ice workouts. The amount of meetings and video you watch is staggering. Sometimes it seems like you guys are in school."

"Sometimes it feels that way too" I tell her.

"You played hockey as a kid, right? I mean minor league I guess they call it."

"Yeah, it's called juniors."

"So you were away from home as a kid?"

"I moved out when I was sixteen to play hockey in Quebec."

"Wow, that's really young. Isn't it?"

"I guess but I went away to school when I was fifteen so I was used to being away from home."

"Why did you go to the school for only one year? Why go at all?"

Suddenly, I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her about how the parents used to taunt me and the other kids bully me because I was so good. I want to tell her how my parents sued the Minor Hockey Council to allow me to play midget before I was old enough and lost the suit. I'm surprised that I want to tell her everything and anything. I'm too used to being circumspect with people outside of my friends and family to give in to that feeling.

"I wasn't able to play hockey in the league with the older kids so my parents sent me to Shattucks for a year until I was old enough to go into the minors."

That was close to the truth at least. I didn't lie but I didn't really tell her everything either.

My phone rings and I answer it.

"Hi Sid" it's Dana.

"Hey Dana, did you find out what happened?"

"Yeah, it's actually the power is out in this whole part of the city. There was a flood at one of the generator centres and it knocked out the power. Are you guys ok?"

"We're good Dana. Well, we'd be better if we weren't trapped in an elevator but otherwise we're doing ok."

I glance at Anna and she smiles and nods.

"Good" Dana says. "I don't know when the power will be back on but they're working on turning on the additional generators to at least get people out of elevators and out of the nook and crannies of the building."

"Thanks Dana."

I hang up and tell Anna what Dana said.

"So when do they think they'll get us out of here?" she asks.

"He didn't have a time but they aren't waiting for the city to fix the issue. We have additional generators that we can use for a short period of time without impacting the essential areas."

"You sound like you've been through something like this before."

"No, I just know how to make it sound like I know what I'm saying" I say on a chuckle.

"That's either a really good thing or a really dangerous thing."

"Why dangerous?"

"Well, if you can make people believe anything you say then you wield a great deal of power."

"Good point" I reply slightly disturbed by her comment. I would never deliberately mislead anyone or lie to anyone. I've perfected the non-answer answer so that I don't have to do it.

Anna must sense my mood change because she jokes "you most only use this power for good Sidney Patrick Crosby."

I chuckle as she'd hoped and I'm also intrigued. How does she know my middle name? Why do I like it when she uses my full name rather than nickname 'Sid?'


	4. Chapter 4

Sid and I have been trapped in this elevator for an hour. Periodically he receives a text from Dana but they are no closer to getting us out of here.

"Are you taking classes during your internship?" Sid asks me.

I'm surprised when he asks me about my schooling although I don't quite know why.

"No, I think it will be busy enough here and I'll need to really focus on my masters courses when I take them" I tell him. "Did you like school? Actually, how did you do high school if you were playing?"

"I went to regular school until I left Shattucks and then I was in a version of home schooling. We had tutors who came to the rink so we usually had class after practice."

"Did you ever want to go beyond high school? I mean you wouldn't of course since hockey is your dream; but, did you ever want to?"

I'm surprised when he turns red and looks away like he's embarrassed. He looks adorable.

"Actually" he begins. "Um, this season I'm taking a college course online."

"Really?" I'm surprised he has the time and inclination. "Why do you want to take a class?"

"I don't know. I've always wondered what it would be like to go to college and be a regular guy and this is as close as I'll ever get. Although I never would admit it as a kid, I loved school. It was fun to learn new things. So I thought I'd try an online course."

He still looks embarrassed but, when his eyes reach mine, I can see unease in his eyes too. Is he worried about what I'm going to say?

"That's great Sid" I say honestly and enthusiastically. "What course are you taking?"

He smiles widely and says "it's WWII history."

"Why did you choose that one?"

"I've always loved learning about the wars and read everything thing I can. I thought this would be a good place to start."

He looks excited now. His eyes are bright and crinkle in the corner as he smiles widely. He uses his hands to gesture when he talks about the course. It's really, really adorable the way he tells me all about the syllabus and how excited he is learn the details of how the world was drawn into a war.

"Why did you choose PR?" Sid asks switching topics.

"I have a lot of experience on the other end of the microphone so I thought I'd see what was involved on this side." Sid frowns at me. I don't know him well enough to figure out why or even ask.

"Don't take this the wrong way but that feels like a practiced answer. Believe me; I've given enough of them that I can recognize it easily."

Shit, he's. That is the usual answer I give when someone asks me that question. How can I stay professional and maintain the distance from him I need if he's going to be this intuitive?

"Ok" I say hesitantly and try to decide how much I will share with him. "When you're in the public eye from a very young age, invasively and constantly, you develop a persona so that you give a consistent image both as a family and individually. It's hard not to give the 'standard' answer when asked a personal question."

Sid smiles. Oh yeah, he understands this well given his youth and exposure to the media.

"Oh" I say. "I guess you know what I'm talking about."

"A little bit. The press never went after me like they do politicians; but, I understand the need for a consistent persona, as you call it."

"The media does like to dig into political families for sport; at least that's what it always feels like when it happens to you. Actually, it can feel like you're being hunted. Every little thing that happens in your life is dissected in the papers, on line, on TV and by people I don't know and will never even meet. My sister or I go on a date and they publish a story including the pedigree of the boy and what time we got home. As a Christian and conservative governor, my father was especially dissected and so were we."

"At least I didn't have to worry about that stuff. There were lots of cameras when I played or practiced but I didn't have to worry about pictures when I was away from the rink."

"That's good. It was horrible" I say softly.

I'm surprised that I've told him this much. I never talk about this with anyone because the fear of retribution on my father has always hung over my head.

"So why choose PR. If you wanted the antithesis of what you've experienced growing up then why not become a reporter? You could do things differently than you experienced."

"That is what I originally wanted to do. I was on the school paper in prep school and loved writing, I still love writing."

"Why didn't you do your degree and internship in the media?" he asks.

"I couldn't" I say.

I can't say more. Even if I can trust Sid, and it feels like I can, I still can't say anything about my family that's negative. He may not mean to but he could say something to someone else and then it gets in the press. I can feel myself sit up straighter and put the practiced and perfected neutral look on my face.

Sid frowns but raises his eyebrows shortly after.

"You couldn't do it because your dad is the governor. Is it a conflict or something?"

"Or something" I reply softly.

"Public Relations is as close to media as you could get without the conflict" he says and then purses his lips. "That sucks."

I don't reply. He's right, it does suck. In fact, I feel like I've never been able to live the life I want because of the obligation to the family. That thought always makes me feel guilty. There are so many problems that others have in this world and I'm lamenting that I can't live my life exactly the way I want. What is it the call that? 'First-world problems'?

"Regardless of how you got here" Sid draws my attention back to him. "You are clearly talented and really good at it. I've never seen Geno be so comfortable with the media before."

"He did great today" I agree. "He feels much more confident with English now and thinks it's the right time to get more involved."

"Why do you do that?" Sid asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time you receive a compliment, you brush it off and give someone else the credit. Or you just ignore it and brush it off completely."

Oh. I never realized that I did that and it makes me wonder if I always have.

"I didn't realize I did that" I tell him.

"Yeah, you do. Geno is definitely more confident in English but he's also really confident in taking your advice and guidance. It's only been two days and he already seems really comfortable with you."

"I'm glad he is. I really need to do this well."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why do you need to do this well? Most people would say they 'want' to do something well. You said 'need'."

I'm feeling really uncomfortable now. His eyes are kind but fierce too. There is no escaping them. He barely knows me and yet he's asking some very personal questions. I can't help wondering why but then tramp down those thoughts because I can't go there.

"I'm sorry" he says. "That is clearly too personal and we hardly know each other."

"It's ok Sid." It's intrinsic in me to put others at ease. "I'm just really not used to being asked these kinds of questions and answering them."

"Usually the standard non-answer, right?"

"Yep" I reply.

We smile at each other in our shared understanding of what it's like to answer reporter's questions vaguely.

Thankfully, he steers the conversation to safer topics including tomorrow night's event. When we do go back to person things, its movies and music. Our conversation leads us to our favourite books. Most of Sid's are about war either in fiction or non-fiction just like his favourite movies.

"What's the last book you read?" he asks me.

Shit, do I really tell him? I guess there are worst things to be honest about.

"Come on" he encourages me. "I won't tell anyone."

The more I wait, the bigger it's going to seem.

"It must be good" he says to me and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Ok, fine" I reply. "But you need to keep this to yourself, ok?"

He nods and I narrow my eyes at him. He crosses his heart and gestures like turning a key at his lips. Mmmm those luscious, gorgeous lips.

"I promise Anna."

"It was Fifty Shades of Gray" I confess and cover my face with my hands.

"Oh my God!" he says and then begins laughing, hard.

"It's not that funny" I complain.

"Oh, I'm not laughing at that" he manages between giggles but then can't talk any more.

Is Sidney Crosby really giggling? Yep, he is and it doesn't look like it's going to stop soon.

I wait him out until he finally slows down the giggling.

"If not, what are you laughing at?" I ask him.

"Fine" he says. "I'm laughing because, while it isn't the last one, I read the books too."

I know that my eyes are wide and unblinking. Did he really just admit to reading the Fifty Shades books?

"Seriously? Wow" I say.

"Yeah, I bought them for my iPad so no one would know."

He is turning pink again. Adorable.

Before either of us can say more, the lights come on and the elevator lurches before moving up. It seems that either the generators or the electricity are back on.

Sid stands easily while I try to figure out how to get up in a tight skirt. I guess I didn't think this through carefully enough when I sat down.

"Let me help you" I look up and Sid is standing over me holding out his hands.

The alternatives are either staying down here or struggling to stand potentially flashing parts of my body that I'd rather not. I put my hands in Sid's and he pulls me up. I come up to his nose so I have to look up to see his eyes. That's when I realize how close we are now that I'm standing. We are still staring when the doors open.

Sidney

I'm rattled as I follow Anna out of the elevator. I haven't enjoyed a conversation that much in a long time. When you tickle it out of her, she's not just articulate and intelligent, but she's also funny, sweet and kind. I feel my pulse pick up as I watch her walk away with Jen; who was waiting for us to get off the elevator.

I'm surrounded by people asking if I'm ok so I assure them that I am but I can't stop watching Anna. Jen is animated talking and gesturing and Anna nods. It looks like she's reassuring Jen that she's ok. I'm about to turn away when Anna looks over her shoulder and directly at me.

When she smiles at me, I feel it in my chest and warmth emanates from there and through me. It was a split second, and barely discernable to most, but I noticed and feel it. Interesting.

Anna

Oh God what did I do? All I had to do was be unnoticeable and stay away from him. Of course I couldn't plan a power outage. Why didn't I engage in polite conversation and talk about him? There are so many subjects that I can talk about, it comes from years of dinner parties, but I couldn't maintain the distance. He was so charming and completely disarmed me when he saw through my polite answers. I know that I playinh with fire and can only pray that I don't get burned from it. I have the scars from the last time.

"Are sure you're ok Anna?" Jen asks me.

We're back in the offices and everyone is gathered around. The power is still out and we don't know when it's going back on.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks Jen" I respond and hope that the attention is off of me soon. I hate being the centre of attention.

"Ok everyone" Jen addresses our entire team now. "We have to be creative to prepare for tomorrow's event. Let's do everything we can without power today and then we'll figure out the rest tomorrow. There are gift bags to stuff, media packets to put together and the programs to organize and put out. Let's do everything we can for the room and then we'll figure out the rest afterward, ok?"

We all agree and she puts us in groups. I'm working with Adam on the gift bags. He gets the cart with all of the items and we walk to the hallway closest to the glass wall. It's a sunny day so we'll have enough light to see what we're doing.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Adam asks me. "I would have freaked out if I was stuck in the elevator."

"Yeah, I'm ok" I answer.

"I am so claustrophobic; it would have been a disaster. Were you alone too?"

"Um, no actually" I say. I guess I can tell him since others saw us get off the elevator together. "I was with Sid."

"Oh. My. God." He says and his eye open up so huge that they fill his whole face. "You were stuck in an elevator with Sidney Crosby for hours?!"

"Not hours" I tell him. "An hour, maybe two."

"Tell me everything" he demands. "He is so hot."

Even if I didn't know that Adam is gay, this conversation would make it obvious to even a blind man.

"We just talked" I tell him. "He asked me about school and we talked about the internship. Then we just chatted. You know, movies, music, books."

I hold back the Fifty Shades of Grey comment. It's too bad that we were interrupted because I really want to know why he read the books. Of course, I'll never know.

"That's it? You're so boring Anna. Seriously. I would have jumped him."

"Um, I don't think you're his type Adam."

We both chuckle. If Meagan has been the disastrous part of this internship then Adam is the bright spot. He's so friendly and kind. He always checks in to see how I'm doing. We've even had coffee a few times and I always laugh my way through it. He's so funny.

I bring his attention back to our task and we set up an assembly line. It's going to take a while but this isn't difficult work. This is the part of PR that people don't see. They think it's all glamourous with parties and stars without considering how everything else gets done.

We chat and laugh while we work and it's really a welcome change from the stress of the day. The first media scrum went well but was definitely stressful and then being trapped in an elevator with Sid. I just need to turn my brain off for a while and I'm able to do that with this task. I would never, ever completely drop my guard with anyone but I can come pretty close with Adam and I feel a lot of the stress fall off of my shoulders.

"I think that's the last one" Adam says.

I look around and am surprised to see that we are, in fact, done. My watch tells me that we've been at this for a few hours and I didn't even realize that much time had gone by.

Adam's phone goes off and he checks it.

"Perfect timing" Adam says. "They've brought dinner in."

That's one of the great things about the organization. We may work long hours for no money but they do feed us really well. We load up the cart with the completed gift bags and it takes both of us to push it to the room to ensure that nothing falls off.

"Wow, are they all done?" Jen asks when she sees us.

"Yep, they're all ready to go" Adam answers her.

We follow her down the hall and to the tables that have been set up for dinner. Usually we'll eat in the conference room but there are no windows in there so it's probably really dark. As I look around, I see more people than our team. It seems like everyone has stayed to keep working regardless of the power being out.

I excuse myself to use the washroom. The hall gets darker and darker the closer I get to the centre of the building where the washrooms are located. There is an emergency light but it's not very bright and I can barely see in front of me. I turn my phone on and use it as a light in front of me.

"Careful as you come around the corner" I hear.

Is my luck really that bad? It can't be, can it? Why is he still here?

"Hi Sid" I say as I watch him come around the corner to stand in front of me.

"Hi, damn, I should have thought of using my phone as a light. It was really 'interesting' inside of the washroom."

It takes a lot of effort not to laugh. I really have to maintain professionalism around him. Earlier in the elevator was an abnormality, a blip, temporary insanity that I need to never let happen again.

I smile at Sid and then continue around him.

"Everything ok?" he asks.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" I ask back.

"You just seem a little weird" he says. "I don't mean that as a criticism, sorry. I just want to make sure that I didn't offend you or something earlier."

Shit, I'm doing this badly. Is it possible to screw something up this badly without even trying?

"No, Sid, everything is fine. You didn't do or say anything wrong. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression."

"Oh, ok."

He doesn't sound convinced but he turns to continue on his way. Shit. He's still a client, the star player at that, and I've forgotten it.

"Sid" I say and wait until he turns around. "You never did tell me why you read the Fifty Shades books. We were interrupted before I could ask you."

I can see him smile and instantly feel better. He continues to smile at me and I start feeling something else, something that I need to avoid feeling; but, damn, he looks so good.

"Maybe the next time we're trapped in an elevator together" he says and winks at me.

I don't have to respond because he turns and walks away. I'm only human so I watch him walk away. He looks really good walking away too.

With the help of my light, I'm able to use the washroom and return back to the offices for dinner. As we eat, we all give updates on the work we've been doing for the event. Everyone has finished their assignments.

"That's all we can do today without electricity. Everyone go home and come back in early tomorrow. Let's plan for 8am but check your email for confirmation that the blackout is over" Jen tells us.

All of us pack up our things and head to the car port together. A security guard walks us to our cars so that he can manually open all of the doors that are locked. Usually we would use our passes but that takes electricity of course.

Adam parks next to me so we walk together to our cars.

"Are you sure you're ok Anna?" he asks me.

"Yes, I'm alright. It's just been a very odd day."

"You can say that again" he laughs and we say goodbye.

I notice that my mother has called me six times over the last couple of hours. Damn, she's going to be ticked off that I didn't answer.

Once my phone is connected to the Bluetooth, I call my mother.

"Anna! Where have you been? I've been so worried about you. Do you have power? Do they know why it went out?"

I listen to her and let her stream of consciousness run dry so that I can actually respond to any of the questions.

"Mom, I was at work, I'm fine, no we don't have power yet and they don't know why it's out."

"But you're ok?"

"Yes, mom, I'm just fine."

With that settled, mom tells me all about a charity luncheon that she hosted today and what a huge success it was. I hear every detail including how wonderful my sister was at encouraging more donations. Since mom can't see me, I roll my eyes but hold back a sigh. She talks the entire twenty minute drive to my apartment. I finally have to interrupt her.

"Mom, I'm sorry but I've arrived at home."

"If you don't have power, where are you going to park? You can't get into the underground. Is it safe where you're parking? You father can call the police to escort you to your door."

I chuckle at her. She is so insanely over the top, and always has been, that I just find her amusing now. If I didn't, I'd probably scream and pull all of my hair out.

"Mom, I'm ok. There are safe places to park in the lot and I'm close to the door. Ok?"

"Ok darling. Text me when you're in your apartment and call me later if you need to talk."

"Thanks mom" I tell her and then disconnect.

I get out of my car and walk toward my building. That's when it hits me. I have to walk up twenty two floors. Guess I don't have to work out today.


	5. Chapter 5

Anna

Thankfully the power came back on sometime during the night and we've been running ever since. On top of our usual job, preparing our players and managing the scrum after practice, we also have a lot to do to prepare for the event this evening. There are a million things to do that we couldn't without power.

Currently, Adam and I are preparing the name tags for visitors. I'm so glad that we're working together again. I don't know if Jen realizes that we're friends but she puts us together a lot which makes work that much more fun.

"Ok, we're missing Thomson's" Adam tells me.

"I printed it" I reply.

"It's not here."

"It has to be."

We stare at each other for a moment and then, quickly and immediately, be both break out in laughter. I don't know what is so funny but we are all but rolling with our laughter.

"Ok, ok, we need to find Thomson's tag" I tell Adam.

"Eh, he won't even miss it" Adam says tongue in cheek.

"He might" I tell him. "He's the president of Consol Energy."

Of course, that starts us both giggling again. When we wind down, I print another tag for Thomson and we finish our work.

This completed, we check in with Jen and there is nothing left to do until a few hours before the event. That gives us two hours to ourselves.

"Let's go eat" Adam says to me.

I desperately want to but I didn't work out yesterday, even though I did walk up twenty two flights of stairs, so I have to today. If I go two days without working out then I know I'll gain weight.

"Sorry" I tell Adam. "I'm going to take advantage of the players being gone to work out."

"Seriously? Wouldn't you rather have a drink and dinner?"

"Definitely, but I will resist your temptation" I wink and then continue to my desk before Adam can convince me to go with him.

I hear him talking to some of the other interns and they all leave together.

I head to the elevator after grabbing my gym bag. We really are lucky that they let us use the player's gym. Most sports teams won't let anyone but players or coaches use the players' equipment. The Pens want to encourage the staff to be healthy, another reason that they feed us too, so we are encouraged to use the equipment when the players are gone.

It's eerily quiet in the halls outside the locker room and lounge. I'm used to the buzzing of the past three days but it's nice to be alone and quiet.

I duck into the visitor's room to change and leave my things there. The lights are still on in the gym and there are fresh towels available. I'm getting spoiled with this equipment. The physical trainer has even offered to create a program for me although I'm too nervous to accept his offer. He's used to athletes and I'm definitely not one.

I plug my phone into the treadmill and my buds into my ears. After walking for a minute, I speed up to a run and lose myself in the music. I hate exercising, hate it so much, but it's the only way I can maintain my weight. Damn these slow genes I inherited from my father.

My heart rate picks up, I feel the sweat pool at my lower back, between my breasts and at my temples. When I get into my groove, I put all thoughts out of my head and focus on each step that I run and the music.

Losing all track of time, I almost fall off the treadmill when Sid walks in front of me and waves his hand. I trip but manage to catch myself so that I don't fall, barely.

I see his lips move and I think he's saying 'are you ok' but I'm not sure. Oh yeah, my ear buds.

After pulling them out, I say to Sid "sorry about that. When I run I tend to shut out everything else."

"I'm sorry to startle you."

"It's ok. What are you still doing here?" I ask.

I immediately regret my question. It's none of my business why he's here right now. This is the player's gym and this building is, essentially, his as the star player and captain. Thankfully Sid laughs rather than being pissed off.

"I'm probably doing what you're doing and taking advantage of an empty gym to work out. I'll shower and change here for the event."

"I'll leave you to it than" I tell him.

Sid is quick to say "no. Don't leave because I'm here."

I feel torn. We are not supposed to be here if the players are but Sid says it's ok to stay. He's smiling at me so I decide to stay. I haven't finished my run yet anyway.

"Ok" I reply. "If you're sure."

"Yeah, no problem."

I start up my treadmill again and put my ear buds back in. Sid puts on his own earphones and gets on the treadmill beside me. Great, now I'm running beside the best hockey player in the world. Since he's a hockey player, he's probably is in the best shape of any athlete too.

It's hard to shut my mind off with Sid running beside me now. Thankfully I don't have to do so for long. Sid was only using the treadmill to warm up and he moves to the weight equipment next.

I can see his reflection in the mirror as he works out. I don't know enough about gym equipment to know what he's using or what muscles he's working; but, I watch him anyway. It's impossible to look away as his muscles strain, occasionally his shirt rides up and shows off his incredible abs and his hair starting to curl as he sweats.

I don't know how long I'm watching him but suddenly I can't catch my breath. The treadmill tells me that I've been running at full speed for forty-five minutes. That's why I can't breathe. I slow it down to a walk and gulp in as much air as I can.

"Are you ok?" Sid asks me.

He's standing in front of me now wiping his face with a towel and drinking water.

"Yeah" I tell him. "I lost track of time and ran longer than usual."

I look at the clock and I'm very late. Shit. At this point I'll have to make my shower really quick and won't get any time to eat.

"Sorry" I tell him while I stop the treadmill and grab my things. As I run out of the room, I shout back to Sid "I'm running very late."

I don't wait for a response. I have ten minutes to shower, dress and get my ass upstairs. It's going to be close.

Sidney

I'm not sure how long I stood and watched Anna run. Time gets away from me as I watch her long and lean legs take every step with confidence. Her shorts aren't inappropriate but they are definitely short. Even in her skirt I didn't realize how great her legs are. Now, I'm almost hypnotized by them. Of course my eyes do run up the rest of her body, over her curves and pause at her breasts. No one would mistake her for anything but a woman with those beautiful breasts. My mind wanders as I imagine my hands filled as I take her lips. Shit, where did that thought come from?

I walk to Anna, calling her name, but she doesn't see me until I'm right in front of her, startling her.

Anna almost trips but catchers herself in time and pulls out her ear buds before saying "sorry about that. When I run I tend to shut out everything else."

"I'm sorry to startle you" I tell her.

"It's ok. What are you still doing here?" I ask.

She looks like she regrets the question but I don't know why.

I tell her "I'm probably doing what you're doing and taking advantage of an empty gym to work out. I'll shower and change here for the event."

"I'll leave you to it than" she says.

I realize that she intends to leave the gym. It might technically be against the rules but there is no one around and I don't care if she's here while I'm working out.

I quickly tell her "no. Don't leave because I'm here."

While her face gives nothing away although I can almost hear her brain working. She's most likely weighing the rules against my saying that it's ok. In the end, she must decide that it's ok.

"Ok" she replies. "If you're sure."

"Yeah, no problem."

She starts up her treadmill again and I get on the one beside her putting in my own ear buds. I quickly find the beat and my running rhythm. I'm close to her, close enough to smell her perfume or maybe it's her shampoo or soap. Yeah, it's not perfume. Maybe it's a uniquely Anna smell.

My warm-up ends, thankfully, and I move to the weights. I came into this camp in the exact shape that I wanted but it continually takes tweaking to stay in this condition. Periodically my mind strays back to Anna running. She is incredibly focused and must have been at it for a while. The sweat around her forehead has the hair that escaped her pony tail curling. She's breathing heavy, very heavy, and it gives me ideas for other ways to help her breath heavy.

I shake my head out of my thoughts and see her stop suddenly. She leans over, resting her hands on her thighs, and tries to catch her breath. I rush over to her.

"Are you ok?" I ask her.

I try to appear nonchalant by wiping my face with a towel and drinking water. I'm not sure that I pull it off.

"Yeah" she tells me. "I lost track of time and ran longer than usual."

Before I can say anything else, Anna looks at the clock and grabs her towel, phone and water.

As she runs out of the room, she yells over her shoulder "sorry. I'm really late."

At least I get a great view of her ass while she runs out. Fuck, it's been way too long if I'm letting an intern get me going like this in only three days.

I push all thoughts out of my head and continue my workout. Some guys use their workout to think. I like to blank my mind, get rid of everything, and focus solely on muscle, stretch and sweat. I lose myself until I'm done and wonder where the time went.

I shower and dress. We'll be wearing our jerseys so I put on a tee-shirt with my dress pants.

When I come out of the dressing room, I hear chatter and laughter of the guys; it is a distinctive sound. I find them in the lounge. A group of guys are surrounding Flower and I know he's either showing them pictures or video of Stella. I have to admit that she's a really cute kid.

"Hey Sid" Geno calls me.

"Hey G" I say back and walk to him.

He looks around as if to see if anyone is near us and then leans in.

"You talk to my intern right?" he asks me.

"When?"

"Elevator" he says.

"Oh, yeah, we were stuck in the elevator together" I tell him.

"You like her?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask and, to my ears, I'm too quick and my voice is too high.

"You talked to her. She's nice, no? Good at her job?"

Oh, that's what he's getting at. He's looking for reassurance about trusting her. I have no facts to share with him, no reason that he should trust her, but I find myself agreeing with him.

"Yeah, she's nice G. She seems really good at her job too. Jen must trust her to assign her to you" I tell him.

Geno visible relaxes and smiles his off-centre, goofy smile.

"Yeah, she good" he tells me. "Hey, Anna" he calls across the room.

I look over my shoulder in the direction Geno was talking and I see her. She may have been running late but she put herself together perfectly.

She's not wearing her usual skirt and shirt. This time she has a dress on that is equally tailored and conservative. I wonder if she dresses that way so that she doesn't draw attention to herself. She looks good of course but she doesn't take advantage of her, um, assets like other girls around here do. I immediately think back to our conversation in the elevator and remember what she said about the media going after her family. Maybe this is what she learned to do out of self-preservation.

"Hi Geno" she says and then turns to me. "Hi Sid, how was your workout?"

"You work out? After practice and workout?" Geno asks me. I look at him and shrug. "You try make me look bad?"

"I can't help it if you don't have discipline G" I tease him.

We both look at Anna when a short, soft giggle escapes her. She smooths her expression quickly and it makes me wonder if I imagined it.

"Gentlemen" she says encompassing us both. "Jen has asked that I work with you both this evening." She turns to me and says "Jen sends her apologies but her daughter has spiked a fever and she has gone to meet her husband at the hospital. They think it's because she's teething but the fever isn't coming down so they're worried."

"Of course" I tell her. "I hope she's ok."

Anna gives me a small smile.

"Jen teased that she's just being an overly worrying mom but I'm sure she'll feel much better, and so will her daughter, if she's there. She was very apologetic to leave so suddenly Sid."

"Yeah, no worries" I reply.

"If you would both follow me, I have your jerseys and some last minute details for you."

Geno and I nod at her and follow her out of the lounge and to the trainer's room.

"Here are your jerseys" she says and hands one to each of us.

"Sweaters" I tell her. When she looks at me quizzically, I say "we call them sweaters rather than jerseys."

"Oh" she replies. "I didn't realize that, thanks."

Anna hands us each a sheet of paper. It has pictures and names on it.

"There are six people on that sheet" she begins. "You will meet many more people than these six, but these people are the key sponsors, company presidents etcetera, and we'll make sure that you spend time with each of them. I'll be sure to highlight who they are when you're introduced."

She continues talking and is really doing the 'last minute' repeat of key things to remember. She really is good at her job. I don't usually have a lot, if any, interaction with the interns but I can tell that she's different than the rest. There is a calm, self-assurance when she talks that presents a competence you immediately trust. I guess when I told Geno to trust her; I was really telling him the truth.

Tom, the VP of Communications, walks down hall and Anna says "oh, we need to go."

Geno and I follow her out of the room and to the locker room. All the guys gather and quiet down while Tom talks to us about the schedule for the evening. Not all of the guys have the one on one attention from the communication's team so this is their last minute directions.

It doesn't take long and then we're ushered to the large room where the party is and wait for each of us to be announced and walk in the room. Even though Geno goes on the ice last, I'm always last off the ice because I'm the captain. It wouldn't bother me if I wasn't but that's just the way it is and Geno doesn't seem to mind.

After we're all in the room, and the official greetings are over, we start the circus. Anna is quickly at my side and directs me to the president of Consol Energy, Thomson I think. Anna fades back after we start talking and, from the corner of my eye, I see her move to Geno and guide him to the president of First Niagara Bank.

Some of the people here I know, well with some, because they've been sponsors for years and I see them a few times every season. It's easy to talk to everyone. They want to ask how the summer was, if I feel ready for the new season and what I think of this group of players, especially the new guys. The only thing that's hard is having the same conversation over and over again. Feigning interest as I hear the same compliments and listen to how much they love the team.

There are a couple of bright spots. A few people brought their kids and they're a lot of fun. One of the boys is dumbstruck and just stares at me with big eyes after we're introduced. Even when I crouch down to his level, he still doesn't speak.

I feel something nudge my shoulder. When I look up, it's Anna holding a Pen's puck and a Sharpie marker. I take them both and turn back to the boy.

"Would you like a signed puck Ryan?" I ask him.

This time he responds even if he only nods and grins. I sign the puck and then hand it to him which he takes and holds it close to his chest. It is the cutest thing.

I say goodbye to the group and follow Anna. She nods slightly with her head and I know that she wants me to follow her into the hall. We're alone out there.

"I thought you might need a quick break" she tells me. "Geno just went to the bathroom. Do you need to as well?"

Of all the things I've thought of talking with her about, peeing really isn't one of them. This feels surreal. She isn't my mother.

"Ah, no, I'm good thanks" I tell her.

She gives me that small, professional smile and hands me a fresh bottle of water.

"Do you need anything Sid? Is everything going well?" she asks.

I feel very uncomfortable. I've been in the NHL for ten years and it still feels weird to be 'taken care of' this way. I swear that if I asked for a pizza to be delivered she would only ask me what I wanted on it and then she would make it happen.

"Hey Sid, you talk to Ryan?" Geno asks as he walks up to me.

Geno loves the little kids; maybe because he's just a big on.

"Yeah, he's a cute bugger" I tell him.

"He no talk to me" Geno says.

"Me neither" I say and chuckle.

"Ok gentlemen" Anna begins. "Are we ready to go back in?"

We both nod and start following her to the door.

"Oh, wait" she says and turns around suddenly holding out a small bottle.

I look down and it's Purell an antibacterial gel.

"Use some of this please" she says. "We need to keep you both healthy."

Geno frowns and says "but I just washed in the bathroom."

"Did you wash well Geno?" she asks like a mom.

I have to chuckle when Geno looks sheepish and takes the gel from her. As we walk back into the room, I'm still laughing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sidney

It's our first preseason game and I have first game nerves. They happen to some degree at the beginning of each season for the first game. I sit in the locker room, as I am now. In my skates and half of my gear and I play the opening of the game in my mind. I see myself take the face off, win it, and bump it back to Tanger. That starts our first rush up the ice.

"Sid!"

I look up when I hear my name and Geno is walking across the room to me. The guys know to leave me alone before a game so it must be really important.

"Hey G" I greet him.

"You seen Anna?" he asks.

"No, why?"

"She says she comes to see me before the game and she's not here."

I can't tell if he looks upset, worried or is just confused. Sometimes it's hard to tell with him.

"There's still an hour before the game. She'll come by, I'm sure" I tell him.

"Yay, I guess" he says and sits at his own stall.

I watch him lace up his skates and it hits me. Does Geno have a crush on the intern? The thought is both amusing and uncomfortable. I've been thinking a lot about the same intern at the most unexpected times. This isn't what Mario meant when he asked me to keep an eye on her but it's a most interesting side effect.

I look up in time to watch Anna walk into the locker room as if thinking about her so hard has made her appear. She is looking at Geno smiling and he grins back.

"You finally show, huh?" he asks her.

"What do you mean?" Anna asks back. "There's still an hour before the game. Don't you have warm up to do and Gatorade to drink?"

Geno continues to grin as Anna sits down beside him. She begins to speak with him in low tones so I can't hear what they're saying. I go back to my visualization and, when I open my eyes again, Anna and Geno are gone and the room is starting to fill up.

There is light bantering between the guys and room is definitely loose. Right now is one of the best times of the whole season. Everything feels possible before the first game. Although you always want to win, the preseason games don't mean much since the team always looks different so that the coaches can assess some of the guys. The first season game is when we get to see the whole team together, healthy, and playing the best guys on the opposing team. That's the Flyers tonight.

None of us have to get motivated to play the Flyers. This rivalry has been going for years and predates all of us on the current squad. The rivalry is so bad that the rink in Philly is the only one where my dad won't sit in the stands. If he goes to a game there then he'll sit in the press box. People would recognize him and it would get ugly if he didn't. He's in the stands at Consol tonight with my mom. They both like to come to the opening game. Mom will go home tomorrow but dad will stay for our first few games since they're at home this year.

"All ready Sid?" Sutter asks beside me.

"Yep, you?" I return.

"Oh yeah" he grins at me.

We go out for warm ups and then Mike gives us the last minute notes before the game. Since it's our home opener, there is a lot of ceremony stuff before the puck drops. The entire Pens coaching and training staff is introduced and then every player. That means there's a lot of standing around and waiting for the players announced last like me.

"It shouldn't be too much longer" I hear beside me.

Geno and I both turn and look at Anna. She's holding her usual iPad that I know also has a note pad in the cover. She doesn't go anywhere without either.

"You should have go chairs for us" Geno tells her.

"And I thought a big, strong hockey star like you wouldn't need a chair Geno" she quickly retorts.

I'm again amazed at how she can be serene, professional and completely unflappable one moment and then Geno draws out a sassy side of her the next. She's a really good fit for him. Of course I can't help wondering how well we'd fit and not our sense of humour.

Anna looks around the corner and then says to us "ok Geno, you're up next."

Geno walks down the tunnel and I hear the announcer say his name and the crowd cheers.

"Good luck tonight" Anna says to me.

"Thanks" I reply.

She turns and walks toward the locker room and probably to the elevator. I'm watching her walk away and have to be prompted by one of the other interns, Meagan I think, when it's my turn to go onto the ice. The extra five seconds are well worth it. Anna looks really good walking away in that tight skirt.

The game goes by quickly, as they can, and it's a nightmare. No one wants to admit it but the Flyers seem to have our number in our barn. They win more than they lose here and it kills me to admit that, even if it's only to myself.

After the game, that we lose 3-1, Mike gives us a quick recap of what we need to work on and then it's time for the press. Seriously, there needs to be a new rule that we don't have to speak to the press when we lose. Or when we're pissed off. Or at all would be really good but I don't think that's ever going to happen.

I get the usual 'what went wrong' and 'are you worried' questions. I answer honestly and quickly trying not to prolong this night. We have another game tomorrow and the sooner I can turn the page on this one, the better.

The press clears out and then most of the players do too. Half of them didn't have to speak with the media so they went to cool down or shower already. The rest of us finish taking off our gear so that we can do the same. The equipment guys will be here for a while yet with the gear and laundry quick turnaround for tomorrow. We'll have a morning skate first.

As I take off my skates, I notice that Geno is sitting at his stall drinking his protein drink. He's pissed. Simmonds was taking a run at him all night and got under G's skin to draw a penalty. That was when the Flyers converted their second, and go-ahead, goal.

I know better than to talk to him right now. When we screw up, we don't need anyone pointing it out or trying to make it better. It sucks, we fucked up, so we need to acknowledge it and turn the page. I don't think Anna knows this and I watch her walk into the locker room then sit down beside Geno.

She says something to him, too low for me to hear, and then Geno responds, stands up abruptly and leaves the room. Anna looks surprised and then hurt before she quickly covers it up. She definitely knows nothing about athletes.

The room is mostly empty now so I walk over and sit beside her. I know that I must stink, as hockey gear does, but I guess that I don't smell any worse than the entire room.

"Don't take it personally" I tell her softly. I don't know what Geno said to her, and I'm sure it wasn't cruel, but I'm also sure that it wasn't nice. "We hate losing."

"I'm getting that impression" she replies.

I look up and see Jen at the doorway. She either saw or heard what happened and I can tell that she's waiting for Anna. I'm torn because it's definitely none of my business but I also have an instinct to want to protect Anna. It's probably because Mario asked me to look out for her.

Before I can decide what to say or do, Anna notices Jen and says "looks like Jen wants to see me."

"It'll be fine" I whisper as she stands and walks over to Jen. I take a few seconds and, because I can't help myself, I enjoy the view.

Anna

The minute I saw Jen, I knew that I had really screwed up. I'm supposed to support my player with the press and not piss him off. What was I thinking?

"Hi Anna" Jen says as I approach her. "Do you have a minute?"

I nod and follow her when she heads down the hall. We travel in silence up the elevator and to her office where she shuts the door. She gestures for me to sit and then she does as well.

"Talk to me about what happened after the media scrum" she says to me.

She doesn't refer to when I spoke to Geno but I know that's what she's asking about. Did Geno talk to her? Did one of the coaches? This happened really quick. Oh God, am I getting fired?

"You mean after the press left?" I ask to confirm and Jen nods. "I was walking by the locker room and saw that Geno was just sitting at his stall with his head in his hands. I sat beside him and told him that we'll win the next one."

"And what did Geno say?" she asks.

"He asked me to leave him alone and then he left the room."

Jen purses her lips and tilts her head. Yep, I'm definitely getting fired. There are hundreds of people who would love this internship so it would be so easy to replace me.

"Our job is to help the players with the press and public events and everything it takes for them to be successful in public. We aren't responsible to help them with their game or to get involved in any other way. We aren't their friends no matter how close we get. It's great that you and Geno have bonded quickly, and he really loves that you guys are on the same page, it makes your job easier and Geno more effective. Over the next seven months and eighty two games, we're going to spend a lot of time together and it's important to remember the role we play."

I sit and listen while she continues to talk about the role of PR and interns in particular. She definitely believes that I over stepped myself and I guess I did. Shit. Here's where I lose the only job that was completely my own. I've failed at the only thing I've done on my own. Mom's going to have a lot to say about that when I tell her.

I should probably keep my mouth shut, but before she fires me, I have to know.

"Did Geno say something to you?" I ask her.

Jen shakes her head and replies "no, he hasn't said anything. Someone observed the interaction and thought that I should know."

It only takes me seconds to realize that it was Meagan who told Jen. I knew she was out to get me and going to be trouble but to try and get me fired. Who does that?

"You are really good at your job Anna and you're learning quickly. It is an adjustment to learn where the line is with the guys and how to navigate it successfully. The line can move but there is one hard and fast rule to follow: when we lose, leave the players alone unless they ask for something. Help them with the scrum and then get out of their way. These are the most competitive people in the world and they take losing very hard. Ok?"

So I'm not getting fired?

"Does that help Anna?"

Help? I'm not getting fired. I nod because I don't know what to say.

"Good. You are really doing well. There are going to be these small things that happen as we go along. You have a lot of experience with the press but you are also an intern and still learning. Keep asking questions and helping Geno with the press as you have been. Ok? I'll see you tomorrow."

I know that I've been dismissed, at least it's for the night and permanently, so I thank her and go to the intern bull pen to get my things.

"Trouble?" Meagan says to me when I'm at my desk.

Bitch, is what I want to say. Instead I smile sweetly at her and say "none at all."

Her brow furrows and then she gives me a sneer.

"Horse shoes up your ass, huh?" she asks sarcastically.

I don't want to engage this woman any further. There's nothing to be gained by talking with her and I should have remembered that before I said even the one thing I did.

I simply give her a smile and then leave my desk. I don't see a lot of people as I leave the building, which is good because I'm barely holding myself together. I don't know if it's the stress of upsetting Geno, thinking that I was losing my job or Meagan's bitchiness but I've had enough.

In the parking lot, it's only my car so I get in and finally let myself go. The tears fall steadily down my cheeks as I release my fear and anxiety. At least I've learned to allow myself these moments let my emotions out. It's better than the ulcers that I developed in my teens.

The knock on my passenger window scares me so much that I actually shriek. There a man at my door and I notice a black SUV behind him. I'm about to lock the doors when I notice that it's Sid. I can't decide if that makes me feel better or worse. The last person I want to see right now is him. How the hell am I supposed to keep away from him when he's everywhere I am all the time?

I roll the window down hoping that I can answer whatever question he has and then leave without him knowing I was in my car crying.

"Hi" I manage without my voice cracking.

"Can I come in?" Sid asks.

Seriously, without being rude, how do I stay away from this man? He isn't interested in someone like me so why is he always around?

"Sure" I tell him, not wanting to be rude.

Sid gets into the passenger seat and seems to completely fill the car. His body is large of course but it's more than that. His very presence fills the space as does the fragrance of his cologne and the combination makes me light headed.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

I try to sneakily wipe a stray tear and then give him a smile saying "sure."

He stares at me and seems to be considering what to do or say next. I think that I'm getting away with it when he reaches for the door handle. I guess I'm having a night of bad luck because Sid turns back to me instead of leaving.

"I think you're not" he says.

"Not what?" I try and hope that he'll let it go.

"You're not ok" he says softly. "What happened with Jen?"

Just twenty minutes ago, Jen told me not to cross lines with the players, they aren't our friends and that I need to remain professional. Maybe she needs to have that talk with Sid. Although I guess it's already too late for things to be professional between us.

"You can talk to me Anna. I promise that it will stay between us" he says.

His eyes are dark and plead me to trust him. I could get lost in those eyes, again, but the last time I barely got out and I can't afford to let it happen.

"Sid, it's been a long day and it hasn't been a pleasant end, for any of us I guess since we lost. Jen and I had a chat but everything is fine, honestly, it's ok."

"That's why you're sitting in your car crying?"

It seems that he's not going to give up. What do I say? How do I answer him and keep my professional distance? Shit.

"I'm sorry if I'm out of line Anna. It can be hard when you don't know the hockey world and get completely dropped into it cold. I mean, politics is easy, right?"

I look at him quickly. He can't be serious. Politics can eat you up and spit you out in a nanosecond. Hockey is a cake walk compared to politics.

That's when I see his lips twitch and his eyes slightly crinkle at the sides. Within a few seconds, Sid starts laughing and I know that he's kidding. He's trying to help me feel better without making me tell him everything or, really, anything.

"Yeah" I reply. "Politics is so easy. I mean, Woodward and Bernstein are pansies compared to Rob Rossi, right?"

Sid laughs, as I hoped he would. He has come out of his way to make sure I'm fine. I guess I owe him some honesty.

"I thought I was getting fired" I tell him softly and stare straight ahead. I can't look at him if I'm going to talk about this stuff.

"You won't get fired" he tells me and his hand covers mine on the console between us.

The minute his hand touches mine, I feel warmth spread from his and travel up my arm, slowly, until it seeps throughout my body. I can't help looking at him and find his eyes dark and compassionate. It's a heady combination. And a dangerous one.

"Yeah" I tell him and move my hand to the steering wheel. "I had a good talk with Jen. She thinks I'm doing a great job but I just crossed the line with Geno. She gave me good advice too."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Stay away from you guys if we lose."

Sid chuckles and replies "yeah, that's really good advice. If the team loses, especially if the team loses, and we haven't played well individually, then we blame ourselves. Geno knows that when he took that stupid penalty that he should have kept his cool and, instead, helped them win the game. He won't see all of the things that I did wrong, or Tanger or anyone else. We take the responsibility on ourselves."

Sid is very serious during his short soliloquy. It really drives home for me how seriously they take not only the game but their leadership on the team. Geno is an alternate captain and really the number two guy next to Sid. If he's not doing his best then he takes it very personally like he's not only not doing his job as a player but also as a leader.

"That must be difficult for you" I say to Sid.

"I don't know about difficult but it adds another dimension to what we deal with every day. The press want to speak to us first before the other guys. If we're not performing, then losing is our fault because we need to always produce."

"But you are human Sid. You're going to have off days."

"Sounds good in theory but this isn't just a game, right? It's a business and big money business too."

"I guess I forgot about that and have only been seeing this as a game."

"It's easy to do and there's no reason that you should see it any other way Anna."

"There is if I'm going to understand Geno. Part of my job is knowing when to keep him away from the press, when he's not able to talk to them constructively, so understanding the pressures involved will help me do my job."

"Good" he says with nod.

We continue to look at each other as the silence grows. It's not uncomfortable or weird. That is the weird part. I'm very comfortable with him. Too comfortable.

"Thanks so much for checking on me Sid. It's really helpful to understand you guys better."

"Well, yeah, I'm glad I could help. Are you going to be ok driving home?"

"Yeah" I quickly reply. I need to stop this conversation and move on. "I'll be ok."

"All right then. See you tomorrow."

"Ok, bye" I tell him and watch as he leaves.

The car feels much larger since he left but it also feels empty and like something is missing. I have to put a stop to these conversations. Why is he always around when I'm always trying to avoid him?

 _ **Author's Note:** My apologies for the longer than usual wait. My best friend got married and between the wedding and taking care of her daughter while they were on their honeymoon (she's four years old), it's been quite busy in my world. I will get back on track with at least one chapter per week. Thanks for reading. I love hearing your thoughts in your comments._


	7. Chapter 7

Sidney

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don't know what got into me. Holy fuck did I cross a line tonight. I can almost convince myself that I was looking after Anna the way Mario asked me to do at the start of camp. She was clearly really upset in the locker room and I knew that Jen was going to talk to Anna about the situation. That's why I followed her to her car. That's why I sat in her passenger seat and made her tell me what was wrong. It's what Mario asked me to do.

Then I placed my hand over hers. I touched her. Why the fuck did I touch her?

I keep replaying it over and over in my head as I drive home. Everything is fine, everything is going according to plan, and then I touch her. I was so fucking out of line. God, she had just told me about how Jen told her not to cross the professional line and I steam roll over it.

I'm always so careful not to put myself into what Pat calls "vulnerable positions". Since juniors, my agent has preached about not touching girls who want a picture even if they put their arm around you. Don't be alone with them in case they want to make something up about what you supposedly did to them. In one night, I break both of the rules by being alone in the car with Anna and touching her. Fuck.

As I pull into my driveway, I don't have any answers about my next move except that I need to talk to her. By instinct, I don't think Anna is the kind of girl to make shit up so I'm not worried about that. What I am worried about is that I offended her or made it worse somehow.

I pull off my jacket and tie and make my way to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. A beer would go down really well right now but we just started the season and it's too late at night for that many calories. People would think that an athlete could eat whatever they want given how many calories we expend. Unfortunately, I can't eat, or drink, like that and stay in top performance. An occasional glass of wine is about all I indulge in.

I drink from my water bottle, really wishing it was a beer, and turn on SportsCentre to catch some of the scores. It hits me as I sit down on my sofa. I can call her. She'll still be awake. If I just got home then she must be at home too, right?

Shit, I don't have her number. I could ask Lauren. I think she's friend with Anna; but, then she's going to ask me why I want it and I definitely don't want to have that conversation. Fuck.

Then I remember: Geno. He texts with Anna so he has to have her number. Maybe if I text him then he won't ask me why I want it.

'Hey, do you have Anna's #' I text.

I wait impatiently for what feels like a lifetime but it is probably less than a minute.

'Why you want' he texts back.

Shit. Can't he just give me the damn number? How am I going to answer this one?

'Mario asked me to look after her so I want to text her' I send.

After a few moments, he texts back 'K' and sends me the number.

'Thanks' I send. At the last minute I rethink it and also send 'don't tell Anna, Mario doesn't want her to know'

'K' is all I receive back.

His usual brevity is very much appreciated tonight. I don't want to spend time talking with him when I need to call Anna.

I call the number Geno gave me and count each ring. Shit. I'm going to voicemail. Do I leave one or do I call back? Too late; there's the beep.

"Um, hi Anna" great beginning, idiot. "It's Sid. Um, would you give me a call back? I'll be up for a while still and I really want to talk to you." Could this be going any worse? "Um, it's not urgent but it is important." God, I need to end this, now. "Ok, so, call please, bye."

When I disconnect the call, all I can do is stare at my phone and wish away the fiasco that was just my voice mail. I bang the phone against my head over and over. What an idiot I am.

It scares the shit out of me when my phone rings. I'm stunned when I see that it's Anna. Wow.

"Um, hi" I say. Brilliant again.

"Hi Sid" she says smoothly. "I'm sorry that I didn't answer your call. It was an unknown number and I don't answer those."

"Oh, ok" I reply.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" she asks.

Why am I so fucking stupid all of a sudden? It's like I've forgotten how to have an intelligent conversation with a girl. Maybe that's the problem, I don't see her as an intern, I see her as a girl.

"Yeah, thanks for calling me back." This couldn't get more awkward so I spit it out quickly. "I think I may have crossed the line tonight, in your car, when we talked. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable and I didn't want to offend you. I can honestly say that I've never done anything like that before. I just knew that you were upset and I wanted to see if you were ok after talking to Jen. Are you ok? Did I cross a line? Did I offend you? Are you still upset? Are you more upset?"

I finally come to my senses and stop talking. What the fuck am I doing? Oh yeah, I'm making it worse.

"Ok. To answer your questions: yes, no, no, no, and no" she tells me.

Huh? She must sense that I'm confused because she continues.

"To expand: yes I'm ok, no you didn't cross a line, no you didn't offend me, no I'm not still upset and no I'm not more upset."

It finally sinks into my brain that she has just alleviated all of my fears. She's ok.

"Ok, good" I tell her. "That was an odd way of answering my question."

"First, it wasn't one question it was five, and they were rapidly in one row. I was trying to be efficient."

She has to be kidding. Right?

"I'm joking Sid. Everything is ok, honest."

"Ok, good."

I don't have anything else to say but I don't want to hang up. She doesn't say anything either. I wonder why?

"Tomorrow is another game and you'll forget all about this one" I tell her.

"I could say the same to you."

She's really quick and smart. I never realized that I like quick and smart.

"Yeah, well, it's not as bad for us as it is for goalies. We screw up in front of them and they take the consequences when the puck sails past them."

"I never thought about it that way" she replies. "I guess there is still so much about this game that I don't understand. I always knew that it wasn't easy, to play a game on ice in skates, but I never realized how complex it is to be an athlete."

"You're picking it up quickly" I tell her. "It was only the first game of the season tonight. There are eighty one more to go. You'll be an expert by the end of the season."

"Maybe" she replies.

Neither of us says anything but we don't hang up either. I want to prolong our conversation but it is really late and there's another game tomorrow.

"I guess I should …"

"We should probably …"

We both say it at the same time and chuckle.

"I guess I should go to bed. We have a practice in the morning and another game" I tell her.

"Yeah, I have to be in early" she replies. "Sid, thank you."

"For what?" I ask.

"For checking in with me at my car and calling me tonight. I appreciate it."

"Oh, anytime" I reply.

We say goodbye and I still have a huge grin on my face when I go to bed.

Anna

It takes a lot of foundation and cover up the next morning for me to hide the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. I kept replaying everything that happened after the media scrum. The misstep with Geno and conversation with Jen was weird because I screwed up. Althoug, in hindsight, Jen didn't seem mad about. She approached it as a learning opportunity. I'm trying to look at it the same way but it's hard. When I've focused on trying to be perfect my entire life, it's hard to shift that engrained, learned behaviour to see mistakes as learning opportunities.

What has me really confused is everything that happened with Sid. He's a really nice guy and I guess we got to know each other when we were trapped in that elevator. It makes sense that he would come over to me, as he did, in the locker room when he saw I was upset. The conversation in my car has replayed over and over in my head. Why did he follow me out to my car? That seems over and above even for a nice guy like Sid. What does it mean?

As if that isn't confusing enough, I can't figure out what that phone call was about. Was he just being a good guy and making sure that I was ok. If so, why did it feel like we were flirting? Why didn't either of us want to hang up? I really have to stay away from him and establish a more professional distance between us. Jen has dictated it and I've been desperate for it since I found out I was going to work here. Distance between me and Sidney Crosby isn't just a good idea, it's as essential as breathing and I've feel like I've been gasping for air ever since I saw him again.

The lack of sleep has made me bloated so I decide on a pant suit. I really can't face nylons or tights today. I dress quickly in a blue pinstripe suit and a button down shirt in paisley blues. It shouldn't work, but it does, and it's about as far from conservative that I go. My hair isn't behaving today either so up into a chignon it goes. A belt, earrings, watch and heels complete the outfit. Satisfied with my appearance, I go to the kitchen to get coffee in my to-go cup.

I stare at my phone and contemplate my morning text to Geno. I always send him a text before I leave for the office so that he sees it when he wakes up. Should I send it or maybe I shouldn't after what happened last night?

What was it Sid said? They need to turn the page after a game like that especially when they have another game the next day. I've also learned that these guys thrive on routine. Yeah, I need to keep to our routine and schedule.

I send Geno a text with his morning schedule the same as I've done every day since we started working together and then leave the house.

When I get to the bull pen, the people that are in are talking in hushed tones, glance at me and then go to their desks. Weird.

Adam grabs my elbow after I've put my purse in my desk and pulls me down the hallway. When we're in a small meeting room, he shuts the door and turns to me.

"What happened?" he asks.

Confused, I ask "what do you mean?"

"There's a rumour that you fucked up, big time, and Jen went ballistic and you almost got fired. How come you didn't call me immediately?"

Oh, that's what they were all whispering about when I came in. I don't have to wonder who spread the rumour around to the interns; Meagan.

"I made a mistake for sure and Jen wanted to talk about it. She thinks I'm doing a good job and I'm definitely not getting fired. In fact, there's been no change at all. The talk with Jen was really helpful actually" I tell him.

"That bitch!" he says.

"Seriously Adam. Jen was great. I even thought I might get fired when I went to her office but she was really, really great."

"No, I don't mean Jen. Meagan. And don't try to tell me that this wasn't because of her. I'd bet she told Jen what happened and then spread this rumour around. Bitch!"

"I'm not going to disagree with you but there is nothing to be gained by doing anything about it Adam. You can't prove anything and it will only cause issues within the team. Leave it alone, ok?"

"Fine, if your mind is set but I don't have to like her."

I go with my instinct and give him a hug. He is such a good friend to stick up for me like this and I'm incredibly grateful for him.

We go back to the bullpen in time for the morning huddle and Jen reviews today's schedule. Geno and Sid have a photo shoot with Pittsburgh Life magazine and I'm going to manage it. I can feel Meagan's eyes on me when it's announced but I put it out of my mind and focus on Jen. I need to take the advice that I gave Adam. Worrying about her isn't worth it.

The time before practice flies by. I meet the team from Pittsburgh Life and get them set up for the photo shoot later. Some last minute issues take me right up to the after practice scrum and I make it to the locker room as the guys are coming off the ice. Perfect timing.

I hang back at the door way and watch for Geno. I was confident in the text I sent him this morning and he did reply with a 'thanks' but now we're going to see each other face to face. I'm going to continue with my current strategy and turn the page. Last night is over and today is another day.

I watch Geno walk in the door and he looks around. When he spots me, he waddles over, as they do in their skates, and gestures with his head for me to follow him. Shit. I guess this isn't over.

He doesn't stop until we are down a deserted hallway. I decide to wait and see where Geno wants to take this and how he feels.

"Um, I sorry" he begins. "It's, you know, hard when we lose. I don't take well. I don't, didn't, play good so" he ends on a shrug.

He's apologizing to me? While I appreciate it, and he's cute doing it, this isn't right.

"Geno, please don't apologize. I was out of line and should never have bothered you after the game. I know now to leave you alone after the scrums and you can let me know if you need me instead. Does that work?"

"Not your fault Anna" he replies.

"Well, it's not yours either" I tell him.

It's definitely time to turn the page and put this behind us. We both didn't like what happened and what we did.

"Geno, let's just forget it happened. Ok?"

"Ok" he says and gives me his crooked smile.

"Good, now you need to get into the locker room."

"You hard" he says.

It takes me a minute to realize what he means. He's saying that I'm hard on him. He's back to joking again.

"Someone has to be Geno" I tell him. "You can be hard on me if you want."

His smile disappears and he replies "you hard enough on you."

He turns and waddles back to the locker room. I'm surprised by his perception of me and know that he's right. I am hard on myself.

I leave all of these heavy thoughts behind and walk quickly after him in time for the media to start entering.

As usual, I stand to the side of the press. I'm close enough to hear what's being said but I'm not in anyone's way. It's a careful balance that I'm still learning.

After a few questions about tonight's game, Geno is asked about last night and his poor play. I can tell that he's getting frustrated and give it a few more moments before I say "one more question."

He answers that last question and then starts pulling off his gear as the reporters move on to other players. I give him a smile and then walk back to the room's entrance. While there are still reporters in the room, I'll stay in case someone tries to talk to Geno again.

"Is he ok with everything?" I hear Adam whisper beside me.

"Yes. He pulled me aside to talk and we've cleared everything up. Actually, he apologized to me."

"That's great. But I still think that Meagan is such a bitch."

I can't disagree with him but I also can't afford for someone to hear me agree or say something about her. I say nothing. Adam is soon called away and I continue to wait for the last of the reporters to leave. Finally, the room only contains players and staff.

Sid is at his stall so I approach him to discuss the photo shoot. Professional, I remind myself.

"Hi Sid. I'm going to be taking you and Geno to the photo shoot. When do you think you'll be ready to go up?"

"Oh, hey Anna. How are you this morning?"

He ignores my question and forces me to chat. Ug.

"I'm good" I tell him. "When do you think you'll be ready for the photo shoot?"

Sid frowns and stares at me for a moment.

"Um, about thirty minutes" he says hesitantly.

I smile and reply "great. I'll just ask Geno too and I'll meet you both in the player's lounge. Does that work?"

"Yeah" he replies.

I don't wait to see if he's going to continue talking and instead walk to Geno.

"Geno, can you be ready in thirty minutes for the photo shoot?" I ask him.

"I no need thirty minutes to look good" he tells me.

He's so cute.

"You may want to take them, just in case" I reply. "I'll meet you and Sid in the players' lounge in thirty minutes then."

I check my watch as I walk to the elevator and go up to the room where Pittsburgh Life is still setting up. The photographer is busy so I talk to their marketing person.

"Do you need anything?" I ask her.

"No, we're just doing the last few adjustments" she tells me.

"I'll get the guys in about thirty minutes and bring them up. You're aware that they'll be wearing the new third jersey?"

She frowns.

"About that" she begins. "Can we have them wear the black ones instead? I don't want to offend anyone, but that yellow is garish and the black would look much better on the cover."

She may not have wanted to offend but calling our jerseys, damnit Sid said to call them sweaters, calling our sweaters garish is offensive.

"That might be your opinion; however, we are very proud of the third jersey and the gold" I emphasize the word gold, not yellow "is part of our tradition."

She actually gives me a 'hmmph' and turns to talk with the photographer. Who asks a professional team which jersey, shit sweater, they can wear? They're lucky to get Sid and Geno on the cover together. She should be kissing my ass and not calling our sweaters garish. Hey, I remembered that time' sweaters.

I check my phone and return a few emails before heading back downstairs. I'm a few minutes early so the guys aren't there yet. I continue to answer emails as I wait.

"I look pretty?" I hear in a thick Russian accent behind me.

I look at Geno, narrow my eyes and look him up and down carefully. As long as he has on a collarless shirt, it really doesn't matter what he wears since he'll have a sweater on but I play along.

"Hmm" I reply and look him up and down one more time. "You'll do."

"Ha" he snorts at me. "Sid!" Geno yells behind him.

"I'm here" Sid says as he comes in the room from the hallway.

I can't help noticing how good he looks, tight jeans, long sleeve tee shirt, his hair wet and slightly curly. I give myself a mental shake and gesture for the guys to follow me.

As we head up the elevator, I update the guys on what the pictures are for and how long they'll be needed.

We enter the room and the marketing woman rushes right over to shake Geno's and Sid's hands. I have to stand there while she gushes over the guys. It pisses me off the way she keeps touching Sid as she talks to him.

I get the guy's sweaters and, as I'm handing them out, that woman pipes up.

"Guys, I hate to be forward" she bats her eyes as she says this leaving no doubt that she doesn't really give a shit. "But would you guys mind wearing your black jerseys? They will look so much better in the magazine."

That bitch! She didn't get what she wants from me so she asks Sid and Geno. She knows that I won't make a scene in front of our stars and is trying to back me into a corner. Shit. But I have to say something or else I'm not doing my job.

"Actually" I begin and wait until all eyes are on me. "As we discussed, we want to promote our new third sweater. We are very proud of it, and especially the colours" I add specifically.

The bitch has the nerve to touch Sid's arm and say "oh, I completely understand. But you've been on the cover before Sid. You know how great the black jersey looks."

I think she is actually batting her eye lashes at him. Seriously?

Now this is a pissing contest and she's pushed me into a corner. We are wearing the third sweater and she needs to simply stop this bull shit. Before I can say anything further, I watch Sid shift subtly away from the bitch and Geno shifts closer to my side.

"I think Anna's right and we'll wear our third sweaters" Sid tells her and then looks at Geno.

"Yeah, Anna always right" he turns to me and winks.

The bitch knows that she's lost and is smart enough to back off this time. The guys put on their sweaters and she positions them in front of the camera. The photographer and his assistant take over from there. I take this opportunity to talk to the bitch since she's at the back of the room.

When I'm beside her, and out of ear shot of the others, I say softly "that was out of line and unappreciated."

"I don't know what you mean" she replies sarcastically.

Why am I surrounded by bitches these days? At least I can put this one in her place.

"You know exactly what I mean" I say back. "You never ask my players directly when you don't like a decision that I've made. That is completely out of line."

"Look sweetie" she begins. "I know that you're just an intern. This is my shoot and right now they are my players. I'll talk to Sid and Geno about anything I want."

I desperately try and maintain my composure and have to take a deep breath so that I don't completely lose it.

"A minute ago, right now and a minute from now, these athletes are my responsibility" I tell her. "This photo shoot is for your magazine which the Penguin's organization has allowed to happen. If you are ever allowed back in our building, do not disrespect our sweater, our players or any of our staff ever again. Understood? Or else, intern or not, you won't be back in this building ever."

I don't wait for an answer. Instead I walk closer to where everyone else is and watch the rest of the action until I notice that we're running out of time.

"We have about two minute left" I tell the photographer.

He arranges the guys into one more pose and clicks the camera more times than I can count.

"Thank you so much" I tell the photographer when his two minutes are up. "That's a wrap everyone."

The guys each let out a breath and I know that they're happy we're finished. I shake the photographer and assistant's hands, thank them, and let them know that security will be here in fifteen minutes to see them out.

When I leave the room, Geno and Sid are waiting for me. I say a silent prayer that they aren't pissed off with the way that photo shoot went.

"How did that go?" I ask them.

If they are ticked off then I want to know up front. I want to know right away so that we can address it directly.

"We, um" Sid begins. He looks at Geno and then back at me. "We wanted you to know that we're fine. I've don't remember having met that woman before but she's a bit of a nightmare."

I chuckle, with relief I think, and reply "yeah, she really is."

"We good?" Geno asks.

"I am if you are" I tell him.

"Good, I go" he tells both Sid and I and leaves.

Sid chuckles, "he has very little patience for anything that doesn't directly relate to the ice."

"Yeah, I've sensed that" I reply.

We stand here, smiling at each other and I feel that connection that always seems to be between us.

"I really need to get back to the office" I tell him even though it kills me to break this moment.

"Oh yeah, I need to get going too" he tells me.

Like last night on the phone, neither of us takes action. I feel like my feet are in cement and that I am unable to move. We continue to watch each other and seem a little bewildered. Sid looks as confused as I feel. This connection, attraction, whatever it is between us muddles my brain and prevents me from thinking straight. All of my resolve from this morning fades away. I'm again that naive girl dazzled by the hockey God; although, that's not completely accurate anymore. In a very short time, I've come to know Sidney as a man, as a person, and it dazzles me even more.

"Is everything ok Anna?" Sid asks tearing me from my thoughts.

'Yeah" I tell him. "I'm fine. I really do need to go."

With that, I turn and leave Sid behind me. I have to remember to keep this up and resolve to continue walking away whenever things stray from professional interactions.

"How was the photo shoot?" Adam asks me when I'm back at my desk.

"Good" I tell him. "The Pitt Life marketing woman was a nightmare and tried to do an end run around me with Sid and Geno. I had to take care of it."

"You mean her, you had to take care of her? I wish I could have seen it."

Confused, I ask "what do you mean?"

"Well, you maintain your composure and professionalism ninety-nine percent of the time. Even sometimes when I think you should let loose, you stay frustratingly even. But, that one percent of the time when you do let yourself go, I love those times and would pay hard cash to see them."

"God, you are incorrigible Adam. Seriously, you are absolutely incorrigible."

"No I'm not. It is entertaining to watch you eviscerate someone with only a few words. It's a true talent Anna."

"Well, I did have a few words with her. Just enough so that she got the point."

"I knew it" he rubs his hands together with discernable glee.

"Wow, you are really out there Adam."

"Oh, have some fun Anna. You can't be serious all of the time my friend."

Our conversation comes to an end when Jen walks into the bull pen and gathers the interns.

"Ok guys, the media scrum went flawlessly. I think we're finally hitting our stride. It won't be this easy all season of course but, for now, we are keeping everyone happy. Don't underestimate how difficult that is to accomplish. Now that the season opener is over, we need to put our plans in place for the first road trip. As we've previously discussed, this whole PR team will not be travelling on road trips. There will be a core team and then we'll rotate and add as required."

"How is that decision made?" someone asks.

"It will depend on the length of the trip, the size of the market or markets we are going to, and the activities the players are involved in. For example, in Montreal, there are a lot of media demands of the Canadian, specifically French, players. We'll need a bigger team to support that work. Based on the budget, I've planned and scheduled how many people will travel and I'll announce who is going trip by trip."

She pauses here to see if anyone has questions and then continues when there are none.

"This first trip is five days New York, New Jersey and Washington. We leave after practice tomorrow. We'll be taking Adam, Anna and Meagan."

I smile when people look at me but inside I want to scream. Seriously, I need to travel with Meagan on my first road trip. At least Adam is coming too. We should be able to have time to ourselves during the trip and Adam will provide some fun.

The rest of the afternoon goes by very quickly. I don't even realize that I missed lunch until my stomach growls while I'm in a meeting. My watch tells me that it's four o'clock. When the meeting ends, I go on the hunt for dinner before the pregame work begins.

"Dinner's here" Adam tells me.

"Good, I'm starving" I tell him.

We go to the staff room and dinner is laid out for us but the room is empty.

"Good, we're alone, I have gossip" Adam tells me.

This doesn't surprise me since Adam usually has gossip of some kind. He usually doesn't care if there are others around or not.

"Ok, let's get something to eat and then you can fill me in" I tell him.

When we sit down with our food, Adam scoffs at my plate.

"How can you possible survive on that? You constantly eat salad and chicken breast" he says.

"Anything else goes right to my already huge hips" I tell him. "I haven't been able to work out every day since we're so busy. I need to watch what I eat or I won't get into any of my clothes."

"You're crazy but, whatever, I have big news." He leans in and whispers "I saw Meagan making out with Bennett."

"Really?" I say. "When, where?" I get caught up in the gossip quickly.

"It was this afternoon after the team meetings. I got lost down in those endless hallways." I laugh at this because Adam is always getting lost in the many hallways outside of the trainer's and coach's rooms. "Anyway, I walk around a corner and one of the lights are flickering so that it's darker. It may have been dark but I clearly could see Meagan wrapped around Beau. They didn't see me."

Wow, Meagan and Beau Bennet. I'm actually not surprised that Meagan would do something like this given the crap she's already pulled. But I am surprised about Beau. He's come into camp with a clear focus on being a key member of this team. I have no idea why he's messing around with her.

"Wow" is all I say.

"Wow. All you have to say is wow? I find the best piece of gossip, and damaging to the bitch too, and all you have to say is wow? We need to figure out how to get Jen to see this for herself. Remember the contract we signed?"

Oh yeah, the contact. I forgot that the contract we all signed has a clause in there about relationships among the staff; and the players are considered staff. We will be summarily fired if we have any romantic or sexual relationship with a player.

"I would love for Jen to see how bad Meagan is but there is no way to do that without it coming back to us. Seriously Adam, we can do anything with this information."

"Crap Anna, you know how to take all the fun out of everything."

"You know that I'm right" I tell him.

"That doesn't mean that I have to like it" he tells me and sulks.

I quickly change the subject and ask Adam about going shopping when we're in New York. It works immediately. Adam is desperate to give me a makeover and he's decided that it will be in New York. I cringe thinking at what he would do for this makeover but I let him plan and scheme anyway.

Others join us and soon there is a lot of laughing and joking. It is a lot of fun, working with this team, even if I have to deal with Meagan too. Most everyone loves hockey and this is a dream job for them. It makes them passionate and exciting and I love losing myself in the conversation around me. Although, it always feels like I'm an observer when I'm with the group. I'm sitting with them, listening and laughing, but I don't quite feel like one of them. I can immerse myself in the fun but I'm still distant.

I've felt like this my whole life. With my family, I've always felt like I didn't quite fit in. I'm not skinny and beautiful like my sister and mother. My father has always been so busy and polished that I didn't fit in there either. I've learned to project the image expected of me; but, I know that is only a part that I play. It's not really me. No one really knows the real me.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'll go in with you but I am not letting you give me a makeover" I tell Adam.

"Look, Anna, I finally have a friend with the money to shop in Stella McCartney. We are going in and you are going to try on whatever I tell you to try on."

He pulls me into the store and all I can do is roll my eyes at him. It seems that whatever Adam wants, Adam gets.

We arrived in New York a couple of hours ago. After morning practice in Pittsburgh, we flew directly here to start our road trip. The game is tomorrow so we have a free afternoon and evening. Adam has organized with a couple of the equipment crew to meet us at a club tonight after dinner. With that arranged Adam dragged me out of the hotel and told everyone we would meet them there. He then threw us in a cab, told the driver to go to Stella McCartney and then told me to just take out my credit card when he tells me to do so.

"May I help you?" a tall, very thin, stylishly dressed woman says to us when we walk in the store.

These are the kind of stores I hate going to because I always feel dowdy by comparison to the women I see.

"Yes, you can" Adam tells her. Apparently he has no problem making himself comfortable in this store. "This is my friend, Anna. She is Governor Stanton's daughter."

Did he really just say that? I'm mortified, absolutely mortified. I avoid telling anyone who I am and he says it as a greeting.

"As you can see, she is absolutely gorgeous but very, very conservative" he continues. Oh God, I seriously want to disappear right now. "The look works for her professionally, sort of, but I want to redo her style for the night. Think fun. Think flirty. Not too much skin but tight to show off her curves. Short too. I think she has great legs under the knee length skirts she always wears. I'm thinking jewel tones that bring out her flawless skin and beautiful green eyes."

Before I can even process his comments on my appearance, I'm in a change room with many, many dresses to try on. I know that I look ok, I'm no stupid, but he clearly sees something that I don't when I look in the mirror. He really is a good friend.

"Try the blue one first" he tells me from outside my door.

I pull it on and it is, as directed, very tight. The scoop neck lies like a small cowl and shows just a hint of my breasts. It's sleeveless but has thick straps so I can still wear a bra. The hem stops above my knees. I put on a pair of heels I find in the room and I have to admit that my legs do look good.

I walk out of the change room and Adam stands. He walks around me looking me up and down for so long that I wonder if he's ever going to speak.

"That looks lovely on you Ms. Stanton" the clerk tells me. "Your champagne sir" she says and hands a glass to Adam. Apparently he's enjoying himself.

"It is lovely" Adam begins and takes a sip of his wine. "But it isn't sexy enough. The cleavage is right, you have great boobs Anna, but there needs to be more, something."

He walks into my change room, pulls out all of the dresses except one, and gives them to the clerk.

"These won't work" he tells her. "Anna, go try on the purple one."

He is already sitting back down and telling the clerk how much he loves the wine. I go back into the change room and put on the purple as directed.

Wow! That's all I can think is wow. I now know what he meant when he said more. There isn't any more cleavage showing in this dress, but the bodies is tight and, he's right, my boobs look great. Underneath them, the dress continues on very fitted until it hits my hips and flares out slightly. The only thing that really makes me uncomfortable is that it stops mid-thigh. That is very, very short.

"Come on Anna" Adam yells. Oh my God, he's yelling in Stella McCartney.

I step out of the room and Adam smiles. Actually, it's not just a smile. He gives me a huge, blinding grin.

"That's it. That's the one" he tells me and circles me again looking up and down. "That is absolutely the one."

The clerk comes in and Adam gives her directions about shoes and jewelry. When I start to protest, he simply puts up his hand and makes a zipper gesture over his mouth. Yeah, I get it, shut up and do what Adam says.

I don't have to wait long before the clerk brings in shoes, earrings and rings. Adam picks the ones he likes and tells me to put them on. I'm scared of him at this point so I keep doing what he says.

He looks me up and down again, nods and turns me toward the mirror. Wow is all I can think again.

"Do I know what I'm doing or do I know what I'm doing?" he tells me.

"Ok, you know what you're doing" I admit. "It's a little short though; especially with these heels."

I've been walking in heels as long as I can remember so I'm comfortable in these high ones; but, they do make my legs look even longer and my dress even shorter.

"Good God woman, you run enough to make those legs look that good so you might as well take advantage of it" he quickly dismisses my concern. Turning to the clerk, he says "we'll take all of it. Can you send it to our hotel?"

Within five minutes, I'm back in my old clothes, my credit card has been used, thoroughly, and I'm in the cab again.

"Mac cosmetics" he tells the driver.

"What?" I ask.

"You do your makeup well for work but you need a sexier look and I suspect that 'sexy' to you is a little more blush." I can't argue with him unfortunately. "I've see you with your hair down so we don't need to get that done too. Just straighten it like you did that time we got drunk in Southside."

We arrive at a Mac store and I'm quickly in a chair and being worked on by another thin, gorgeous woman. Do they breed them here in New York?

It takes almost an hour and Adam won't let me look until it's done. As every moment goes by, I become more and more terrified that I'm going to look like a hooker.

"Ok, done" the girl says.

Again Adam stares at me, every inch of my face, before exclaiming "perfect."

He hands me a mirror and I take a look. At first, I'm stunned that it still looks like me. I don't have pounds of make up on or look like I'm wearing too much make up. I look like a more glamourous version of myself. My eyes are vividly green and seem to swallow my face fringed with long lashes. There's a light pink in my cheeks and a nude colour on my lips with some gloss.

"Well?" Adam asks.

I look from my reflection to Adam and he looks apprehensive. So far he's had so much self-assurance that he knows what he's doing that this concern seems out of place.

"I love it Adam" I tell him. I stand and hug him. "Thank you so much for making me do this."

"That's what friends are for" he tells me.

When we leave the store, I notice that there is a Hugo Boss next door so I pull Adam in.

"It's time for you to get something new" I tell him.

I ignore his protests and tell the clerk "my friend needs something fabulous."

We are ushered to the change rooms where Adam grabs me.

"I appreciate this Anna; but, I can't afford anything in here" he tells me in hushed tones.

"It's on me Adam. Think of it as a 'thank you' for today. I haven't had this much fun in a while. Besides, you need to look great if you're going out with the new and improved me."

He chuckles and then looks pensive. I'm confused until he pulls me into his arms and whispers "thank you."

I'm quickly in a chair outside a change room while Adam consults with the clerk. When he has a pile of clothes, he goes into the change room and doesn't come out until he exclaims that it is perfect. When Adam comes out I have to agree that it's perfect. He is wearing dark, fitted jeans, a multi-blue striped button down shirt, a pink tie with a black abstract design running through it and a three button black vest. It should be over the top but it's perfect for him.

He turns around and looks at me saying "well?"

"Hmmm" I say and look him up and down as he did me. "I guess you'll do."

We both laugh and are back in a cab quickly with Adam's new packages.

We part in the hallway outside of our hotel rooms and agree to meet in a couple of hours. We both want some down time before the club. I order room service and boot up my computer. There are a few things that I want to check up on before tomorrow's game. Geno has a young fan coming to see him before the game. The boy has cancer and is a huge Pens fan, in particular of Geno.

My dress and accessories are in the closet waiting for me. After I eat, and respond to emails, I start getting ready.

Adam is right about my hair and I use the straightener so that it's tamed and not frizzy. It's still really thick but looks modern which matches the dress. Dress, shoes and jewelry bring the whole look together. I look like myself but also not like myself. It's really weird. I'm not used to seeing myself look this, well, sexy I guess.

My phone goes off and I wonder if Adam is ready to go early. No sooner does the thought go through my head then I push it out. He's never early when we go out. He's always on time for work but personally, well, he takes a meeting time as a suggestion.

The text is from Geno.

'You can sew?' he sends.

Huh?

'Yes' I tell him.

'My shirt ripped' he sends back.

'Ok I'll be there in a minute'

Before I leave, I think about it and text him asking 'do you have needle? Thread?'

'No' he sends back.

Of course he doesn't.

'NP I have it' I text and grab my sewing kit then go to his room.

I guess I'm a full service intern.

Sidney

"Seriously, just wear another shirt" I tell Geno for the tenth time.

"No, I wear this one. New York club" he says as if that explains everything. "Anna coming to sew it."

I pick up a little at that news. I haven't seen Anna since we landed. I wonder what she's been up to all day; did she have to work or could she take some time for herself to enjoy New York?

When there's a knock at the door I rush to answer it before Geno can move. I take a deep breath and then open the door. What I see makes my mind go blank and then immediately into over drive thinking a million thoughts at once.

She's gorgeous. Her hair is down, I've never seen it down before, and it flows over her shoulders and half way down her back. The dress is tight and short with miles and miles of leg. Her shoes make her almost the same height as me so that we're eye to eye. I can't speak or move. I'm completely captivated by her huge, gorgeous green eyes. Anna is beautiful most of the time; but, right now, I can't even articulate just how beautiful she is.

"Hi Sid" she says. "Can I come in?"

I realize that I'm still standing in the doorway and quickly move to let her pass me. The doorway is small so, when Anna passes by me, her fragrance overwhelms me as much as seeing her does. It's not a perfume or even soap. It is uniquely Anna. Holy shit, I sound like a really bad poet.

I try to shake myself out of it but then I shut the door and turn around. Fuck me! I always thought she was insanely hot in those tight skirts; but, holy shit, this dress hugs her waist, hips and ass before it flares out. Not even a tornado going through this hotel room could uproot me from this spot while I watch her walk into the room.

I hear her laugh and it finally breaks through that I'm still standing in the doorway. Time to snap back to reality. Fuck.

When I enter the room, Geno is taking off his shirt and showing Anna where the hole is. She takes his shirt and sits down on the bed with her sewing kit. Geno sits next to her and I know they're talking but nothing they say is making its way into my brain. All I can see is how high her skirt has ridden up now that she's sitting down and has crossed her legs.

My jeans grow tighter as I imagine those legs wrapped around me and her hair wrapped around my hand as I pull her head back and devour her mouth. She's currently biting her bottom lip as she tries to thread the needle. I'm so glad I left my shirt untucked or my semi would be very embarrassing right now. What is it about this girl? She leaves me confused about everything except the undeniable need to be buried inside of her as soon as humanly possible.

Holy fucking Christ! I'm losing my mind and duck into the bathroom before I make an ass of myself. Geno isn't stupid and he'd know right away that something was going on with me. I need to cool down before I go out there again.

Splashing cold water on my face helps some and I think I can finally act normally again. Maybe.

"Sid, let's go" Geno calls me.

One last look in the mirror and I fix my hair. Back in the room I see that Anna is gone and Geno is in his 'New York club' shirt minus the hole.

"I'm here" I tell him.

We leave the room and see Tanger and Suttsy in the hall so we all head to the elevator together. We have a curfew tonight but need to get out of the hotel for at least a little while. When we're in New York we usually go to the same club if we have a night off.

"Did you see Anna?" Geno asks me.

"Huh, what do you mean?" even to my ears I sound defensive.

Tanger looks at me weird but I only look back at Geno.

"The intern?" Suttsy asks.

"Yeah, but different, hot" he says. "So hot."

"Really?" Sutter replies. "I don't see it."

"You didn't see her. You tell him Sid" Geno tells me.

"Yeah Sid. You tell us" Tanger says and stares at me while we ride down to the lobby in the elevator.

"Um" great start. "Yeah, she looked good, different" I tell him.

"Good? Hot, very hot" Geno says.

Geno continues describing how Anna looks as we jump into a cab to travel to the club. I sit in the front and try to block out Geno's descriptions. Sure, he has all kinds of trouble with English until he describes a hot girl then he's a fucking language savant. At least being in the front seat helps me ignore the conversation in the back. The problem is that I keep fantasizing about Anna in the purple dress, out of that purple dress and wearing nothing at all in my bed.

Fuck.

At the club, finally, we are able to walk directly to the door even though there is a long line. Someone must have called ahead and put us on the list.

"Hey, Dana, Chris!" I hear Geno call out and turn to see where he's looking.

There, in line, is Dana and Chris with some guy and girl I think are other interns and, just my luck, Anna. She's wearing a trench coat that is slightly longer than her dress but still reveals lots of leg. Sutter gestures for them to join us and we all walk into the club. I try to hang back so that I can talk to Anna but that guy pulls her along with him.

"Yeah Sid" the girl gives me a wide smile.

What's her name? Michelle, Mary?

"Hi" I say and forgo the name altogether.

"Hot club" she says and has to lean in to be heard; a little too close because she brushes against me.

The look in her eyes is definitely predatory. Great, now I'm going to have to stay away from this one all night. I look at Sutter and notice that he's watching us. He gives me a nod and I know he understands what's happening and will help keep her away from me. It doesn't happen often but the guys are always there to help when it does. Random hooks up have never really been my thing but it would never be with a groupie or intern.

That brings my attention directly to Anna. Maybe I can make an exception for her. It's still not a good idea but it is sounding like the best one I've had in a very long time; especially to certain parts of my body.

Geno tells everyone to follow him and heads to the VIP section. Yep, it was Geno who had someone call ahead because he loves a VIP section. It must be a Russian thing. Most guys I've played with who are Russian, love a good party in a club and we always have a good time with them.

The guy with Anna, ah right Adam, he has large wide eyes that try to take in everything around us all at once. This is definitely new to him. It never really impressed me before I was able to do this and it certainly doesn't now.

There are low couches with coffee tables, and tall tables to stand at, in our area. A server is already there and takes our drink orders quickly. I watch Adam looking at the dance floor and the other chick flirting with Tanger. Geno walks over to talk with Adam and the other guys watch a football game on the TV. That leaves Anna alone and I can finally talk to her.

I walk over to where she's standing at one of the tables and she smiles at me. That smile has a direct line to my dick now.

"Hi" she says. "Thanks for inviting us to sit with you guys."

"No problem" I tell her.

She undoes her belt and slides her coat off of her shoulders. Without thinking, I move behind her to help and feel electricity where my fingers graze down her bare arms. I may only touch her lightly but I can feel her shiver. It seems that Ms. Stanton is not completely immune to me either. Very interesting.

I put her coat on the back of one of the couches and then join her back at the table. The server brings us our drinks and Anna reaches for her purse. I shake my head at her and wait for the server to leave us.

"It's on us tonight" I tell her.

She frowns and says "that's not right Sid."

"Why not?" I can't help myself asking her.

Of all the things I would have expected her to say, that wasn't even close. I would have expected a version of thanking me or even asking to contribute; but, to say it isn't right is odd.

"Because we work together and I'm sure you don't invite all of the interns to join you when you're on the road" she explains.

I chuckle.

"You have me there" I tell her. "We don't usually have the interns with us when we go out. That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with it either. Dana and Chris have joined us before. Besides, it's not like we planned to all go partying together. You were here and we saw you. That's it."

She tilts her head and her brow furrows. I've come to learn that this is her 'thinking' face. It's time to change the subject.

"Who is that girl with you guys?" I ask.

"Meagan" she replies.

For a very, very brief moment I could swear I see a sneer but it disappears as quickly as it was there. If I hadn't been watching her so closely then I wouldn't have noticed at all. That is very interesting.

"What is her deal?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" she counters back.

Ah, Anna wants to play innocent now. I wonder just how far that sassy side of her is hidden and how much her red wine might affect that appearance.

"I caught a little something when you said her name" I tell her.

The volume of the music increases and there is a loud scream from the crowd on the dancefloor seemingly in appreciation of the next song. We are speaking directly into each other's ear to be heard. I feel her breath in my ear and my own answering shiver.

"I didn't mean anything" she says.

I turn quickly and my lips are an inch from hers and I watch her eyes widen and her pupils dilate. Yeah, this girl isn't quite as contained as she'd have us all believe. What would I be like to simply lean in that last inch and sample her full lips? Involuntarily, my tongue swipes at my bottom lip and her eyes follow the movement. Fuck.

"Come on Anna" Adam yells at Anna. "We have to dance."

With that, he pulls her out of our area and to the dancefloor. Geno and Meagan follow them.

Were we saved or interrupted by Adam's need to dance?

"What's going on Sid?" Tanger asks as he joins me.

"Not much, you?" I answer.

"No, really, what's going on Sid?"

I look at him now and he looks at me, at Anna on her way to the dance floor and then back at me.

"Nothing" I tell him.

I can tell immediately that he doesn't believe me.

"Really, nothing" I tell him again.

He just raises an eyebrow this time.

"Look" I begin. "Mario asked me to look out for her. She's the governor's daughter who is a good friend of his. That's it. Oh, and that's not how she got the job by the way."

I felt that I had to add that last part. I don't want anyone thinking that Anna didn't get this job on her own.

"It that's all you say it is then ok" he tells me and takes a sip of his beer.

We can see our group on the dance floor. Geno is jumping around like the goof he is although he may also be trying to keep away from that Meagan girl. Adam seems to be in his own world. Then there is Anna. The girl who is so buttoned up, careful and contained is currently anything but that. In her very high heels, miles of leg and bouncing breasts, she shakes her fine ass in time to the beat. The semi I've had since I saw her in the hotel grows.

"Yeah, right" Tanger says. "Nothing."

Before I can respond, he walks over to Sutter and the guys and leaves me watching Anna. As if I could tear my eyes away from her right now.

The server asks me if I want another beer. That's when I realize that I've been watching Anna dance for so long that I've finished my beer. I ask for a couple bottles of water for our group instead. One beer is my limit tonight and not just because of the empty calories. I should probably keep a clear head. In fact, I could probably use a few minutes to clear my head completely so I tell Tanger I'll be back in a few minutes and I go outside.

The air is cool which is welcomed considering how hot the club was and how hard I am. I walk about half a block and then turn and walk back to the club. I'm surprised to see Anna out front and walking towards me.

When we're closer, Anna laughs and says "it's way too hot in there."

"Gets that way when you're dancing" I reply.

What the hell was that? God, I'm an idiot.

"Yeah, well, Adam sure loves to dance."

Despite her saying she's warm, she shivers in the cool fall air so I take off my jacket and put it around her shoulders. Of course to do that I have to get very close to her. When I'm done, I don't move away and neither does Anna. We're only inches away from each other. The noise of the traffic, people talking and the usual New York hum fades away and all of my senses are filled with Anna.

It's a split second decision but I can't resist her any more. I lean in and lightly touch my lips to hers. I pull back to see her response and say a silent prayer that it's ok. Her eyes are wide but she doesn't look pissed or startled. In fact, I can't decipher her expression at all. She just keeps staring at me.

She's not saying no or pushing me away so I put my hand on her arm and pull her close as I capture her lips again. This time with more pressure and I can feel the length of her body against mine. She's soft and warm and seems to fit perfectly to my body.

I lean back but don't lose the connection of our bodies. Her eyes are still wide but they have darkened and her lips are parted as if begging for mine again.

A car alarm has me realizing that we are on the sidewalk where anyone can see us; but, I'm not ready to let her go when I finally have her in my arms. We're next to an alley so I pull her with me until we're in shadows and alone. I press her body against the wall with mine but wait before kissing her to give her the opportunity to say no. She doesn't, thank God.

This time I'm less gentle. I've had a taste and I am desperate for more. This time, when my lips meet hers, she ardently responds. I feel her hands both circle my waist and only stop at my lower back. My thumb strokes her jaw and my other hand tilts her head so that I can have better access to her lips. As soon as my tongue touches her lips, they part and grant me access. That's the last time I think clearly.

Anna

After backing me against the wall of the building, Sid's body covers mine, his hands are each on the side of my neck but he doesn't kiss me right away. His eyes stare into mine and I know he's giving me a choice. I also know that I should make the choice to say no and walk away. This is why I have tried, although unsuccessfully, to stay away from him. I have absolutely no will power when it comes to Sidney Crosby. I tell myself that I'm playing with fire. I tell myself that this could get me fired. I tell myself to remember what happened last time. My brain either doesn't hear me or doesn't care.

I stay silent and Sid's lips find mine again. He's less gentle this time and I'm carried away by the feel of his lips on mine. He tilts my head so that our lips fit even more intimately. My body betrays me when I feel his tongue against my lips and they part for him.

Our kisses become more desperate with neither of us able to get enough. Sid's knee pushes between my legs and I part them instinctively as far as my dress will allow. I tilt my hips up welcoming his thigh between my legs and I bring my hands up to feel the muscles at his shoulders. I slide them into his hair as his hands slide down over my waist and stop at my hips.

Sid's lips leave mine and he kisses across my jaw and to my neck. I tile my head further to give him better access and feel his lips and tongue throughout my body with the feeling settling deep inside me. One of his hands slide lower and my skirt slides up and his hand touches the cool flesh of my thigh. Oh God, his hands play my body expertly while his lips kiss across my collar bone to the other side of my neck. A low, long moan escapes my lips and I grind harder against his thigh.

Suddenly Sid raises his head and stops moving his busy hands. He looks at me confused, really confused. Oh God, does he remember?


	9. Chapter 9

Sidney

I feel Anna's moan, long and low, reverberate through my body and settle in my dick. But then something else breaks through the sexual haze. It's something just at the edge of my brain that I can't reach but it's there and I pull back to look at Anna.

Her lips are full and red from mine, eyes wide and filled with desire and her body warm and definitely willing. It's not her body that niggles at my brain; it was that moan. What is it that I can't comprehend or maybe that I can't remember? I shake myself out of my thoughts and notice that Anna's expression has changed. She looks, almost, scared.

I pull away immediately, appalled that I might have scared her, and push all other thoughts aside for later.

"I don't know what to say" I tell her. "Should I apologize?"

"No" Anna whispers. "No, there's no need to apologize. We both lost our heads for a minute and got carried away. We can just forget it happened."

Oh, she isn't scared but she also isn't happy about what happened. Damn.

"We should get back in. They guys must be wondering where we are" she tells me.

I back up and let her take the lead. We're quiet all the way back to the door and then inside the hallway where she takes off my jacket and hands it to me. Anna goes to the washroom and I head back to our group.

The guys are ready to go so we can make curfew and the others are leaving as well. I grab a server and hand her my credit card to pay our tab. Meagan slides beside me and puts her arm through mine.

"Thanks Sid" she purrs at me.

The sound is like nails on a chalkboard and I desperately try to figure out how to extricate myself with the least amount of fuss. Pulling away doesn't work because she moves with me. As I'm trying to figure out what to say, Suttsy shouts at me.

"Sid, got a minute?"

I give Meagan a small smile and then pull away to walk to Sutter and Tanger.

"Thanks" I tell him.

"That girl is a pariah" Tanger says.

"Yeah, she's been all over me" Sutter tells us.

"All of us" Tanger replies.

The server comes back and I sign for my card and we all grab our stuff to leave. I notice that Anna is back and has put her own coat on. We move as one group out to cabs to go back to the hotel. I'm back in a cab with Geno, Suttsy and Tanger and this time they're talking about how annoying Meagan was tonight. I'm glad they're not talking about how hot Anna was tonight like they did on the way here. I couldn't have taken listening to it.

Since I first saw her, I've thought she was pretty, not my type, but definitely pretty. As I got to know her better and saw her more often, I began to notice more. It never mattered that she's always so buttoned up almost like she's trying to hide her body. But, when she takes her jacket off, and is wearing that tight skirt, there is no doubting how hot she is. Of course that's before I saw her tonight. Those legs were on full display. Her dress tight to show off her curves and highlight those gorgeous breasts.

Thinking of Anna brings me back to that moment when I heard her moan. I still have something niggling at the edge of my brain but I can't quite bring it into focus. It's as if I'm forgetting something really important but I can't even guess at what that is or was. This is incredibly weird and leaves me feeling like I'm going crazy. Am I remembering something or wishing for something? Is it what's happened or what I want to happen? And how the fuck do you forget something like that if it's a memory? There's no way I would have forgotten Anna or her moan but it has to be about her if it was her moan that started my brain whirling.

At the hotel, we all ride up to our floor together and part at the elevator. The guys and I head to our right while the rest take the hallway to the left including Anna. There's no opportunity to have a private moment with her. I want to talk to her about what happened in the alley so that it isn't weird between us.

I turn on SportsCentre when I'm in my room and get ready for bed. I'm not really focusing on the scores and highlights because I'm trying to will myself to remember whatever it is that I've forgotten. I'm having no luck so I turn off the light and TV and crawl into bed.

As soon as I close my eyes, my brain replays the kiss with Anna both on the sidewalk and against the wall in the alley. Anna might usually be composed and contained but there is not only a sassy but unbelievably sexy side of her that she keeps hidden away. I've been puzzled about why I'm so drawn to her and now I know why.

She was a perfect fit to me. Her body was soft and yielding and her lips full and seeking. That dress showed off all of her assets that she usually tries to conceal. For a brief moment I lost control which is not like me. When she went willingly into my arms and eagerly accepted my lips, my touch, it just set something off inside of me. And her moan, holy fuck I can still hear her moan and feel my body react to it.

At that memory, is sit straight up in bed. That's it, her moan. I've heard that moan before. I've seen those eyes, felt her body, and held her before. But before when? Why can't I remember it all? I feel like I'm crazy but I'm also incredibly sure of what I'm feeling and remembering. There's only one thing that I can do. I have to talk to Anna.

I text Anna 'I need to talk, can I come to your room?'

I pull on shorts and a tee shirt while I wait for her response. She has to say yes. There is no way that I can sleep without knowing what I'm remembering and why Anna has never said anything about us knowing each other. We do know each other or am I going crazy?

'Ok, room 915'

I breathe a sigh of relief when I read her text and rush out the door. I'm careful to see if there is anyone out there but it's after curfew so everyone is in their rooms. In front of Anna's door, I knock softly.

When she opens the door, I'm surprised at how she looks. I'm used to professional Anna and tonight I saw sexy Anna. This Anna looks like a teenager. Her face is scrubbed clean of makeup and her hair is in a high ponytail. She's wearing only a tank top and shorts. I'm momentarily lost for words as I take in all of her exposed beautiful skin. She backs up to let me pass her and, as I do, I can smell sex and innocence mixed together. To say that it's arousing is an understatement.

"Is everything ok Sid?" Anna asks me.

I should have given this more thought. How am I going to ask her about this or tell her what I'm thinking without seeming like a crazy person?

"Yeah, sort of, well, no actually."

She follows me into the room and sits cross legged on the bed. I'm pacing the room and I must look nuts but she doesn't say anything.

"Anna, I'm sorry to barge in like this and I know that I'm going to sound like a crazy person but I feel like a crazy person right now." I know that I'm rambling but I can barely put my thoughts together into a cohesive thought. "Do we know each other?" I ask.

Anna tilts her head and her expression gives nothing away.

"What do you mean Sid? Of course we know each other" she tells me.

"No, I mean have we met, before this season? I might be going crazy but I have this feeling, it's like a memory, that we've, um, met before."

No matter how senseless I already sound, I can't bring myself to tell her that it was her moan that trigger this memory or whatever this is.

"I'm not sure that I understand" she tells me.

I almost buy it. I almost apologize and leave her room assuming that I made everything up in my head. She is sitting on the bed, calm, with her head still tilted and looking at me blandly. But I notice her hands. They are in her lap, fingers clasped and twisting. Over and over they the clasp, unclasp twist this way and that, over and over again.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about" I tell her softly. "Anna, I feel like I'm in some kind of science fiction movie here where an alien has erased my memories but they are leaking back in." I think she might laugh or at least smile but I get nothing. "Anna, you know something, please tell me."

I'm pleading, begging her but I don't care because I need to know.

She looks down at her hands and softly says "no alien Sid. I suspect it was just a lot of alcohol."

I'm more confused now. I never drink so much that I don't remember anything. I hate the feeling of being out of control. There are times when I have more than I should but never that much, never.

"When?" is all I ask.

She still hasn't looked me in the eye. Instead, Anna continues to twist her fingers and look down at them.

"It was the end of last season" she says softly. "We met at a party at the end of last season after the series with the Rangers."

Party? Oh yeah, Beau had a party on clean out day. It was most of the single guys. We were all so pissed off with how the season ended that we wanted to blow off some steam. Losing the series when we were up 3-1 hit us all hard. I knew that Dan and Ray were going to lose their jobs, they had to after so much failure over a few years, and I felt the failure of the season squarely on my shoulders. I didn't even get a fucking point in the whole series. I don't remember much of that night. I remember he beginning of the evening but that's it. It was the one and only time in my life where I drank that much. The next day I vowed to never drink that much again. I was sick for two days.

"It was at Beau's house. You were there?" I ask.

"Yes, I was in town and Lauren was going to she took me."

She doesn't say any more. It's frustrating.

"So we met there? Come on Anna, you know what I'm asking. What happened? I know now why I don't remember. I was completely shitfaced and can only remember the first hour or so."

She sighs and continues looking down at her fingers.

"Yes, we met that night. That's what you remember" she tells me.

She's saying it like that's it; but, there has to be more to it. Anna is acting too weird for it to only be a meeting.

"Anna, after we, well, kissed tonight, I had a flash that was like a memory of you. Did we kiss that night?" I ask her.

She nods her head but still doesn't look up.

"Did we do more?" I ask.

Again, she nods. This is so fucking frustrating.

"Anna, just tell me. Enough of the twenty questions."

"Fine" she says and finally looks up. "We had sex, ok?"

I figured that's what she was going to say. She was acting like that's what happened; but, I'm still stunned. I'm actually rocked back by those four words. 'We had sex, ok' Holy shit! I had sex with someone and I don't even remember it. That in and of itself is unbelievable and rocks me back and scares me. That it was with Anna is absolutely gutting me. How could I treat any woman like that never mind someone like Anna? And she's Lauren's friend too.

I stumble a bit and find the desk chair behind me to sit. This is unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. I might have believed alien abduction before I'd believed this about me. I never drink that much. I never have one night stands. Both get you into trouble and I stay far away from trouble. In one night, I did both and don't even remember it. Even knowing about it, I still don't remember anything beyond the first hour or so of the party. I don't even remember Anna or Lauren being there.

Now that it's sinking in, I begin to feel nauseous. Mario asked me to look after Anna and, before he ever did, I'd already done something horrible. Another thought enters my mind and I may just puke right now. I don't want to ask but I have to know.

"Anna, when we" I actually have to swallow back bile. "You said that we had sex. You, um, you wanted to, right?"

I watch Anna's brow furrow and she tilts her head again appearing to not understand what I'm saying. I should explain more but I really can't bring myself to say it. Thankfully, she seems to understand what I'm asking so I don't need to say more.

"Oh Sid, yes, I wanted it. You didn't force me or anything."

I immediately feel marginally better know that I'm not 'that guy'. It doesn't make me a good person for treating someone that way, drunk or not, but I'm not a terrible one.

"Anna" I begin but don't know what else to say. I decide to be candid and honest. "I really don't know what to say. I've never had so much to drink that I didn't remember the next day. Most definitely, I've never had sex with a girl and not remember it. You must think I'm an asshole. How can you even be in the same room with me? I just don't know what to say. I was going to find you tomorrow and apologize if I was out of line earlier tonight; but, to hear about this, I don't even know how to begin to apologize for my behaviour."

I actually feel tears well up in my eyes and quickly blink them back. This is one of the things Pat warns his players about. Anna could have been a puck bunny who said all kinds of things that I'd done to her and, without any memory of it, how could I say any different? Oh God.

Anna

What does Sid want? I was stunned by his text asking my room number so that he can speak with me. It's probably about what happened tonight outside of the club. Oh God! Or maybe he wants to continue what we started.

I've never, ever believed in fate; but, this thing with Sid is testing that belief. No matter how hard I try, I seem to keep being either pulled or pushed toward him. Should I simply give up? He doesn't remember what happened between us, and I guess I'm not surprised given how much he drank that night, so maybe I can forget what happened too. Arg, I'm being delusional now. There is no way that I can ever forget what happened or take the risk that he'll find out.

The knock on the door breaks me out of thoughts. I should have taken a few minutes to change since I'm just in my shorts and tank that I sleep in. Oh well, it's too late now.

Sid is wearing a tee shirt and shorts with a very confused look on his face. I move back to let him in and then sit on the bed to let him take the lead.

The next five minutes are surreal. Sid pushes and pushes, asking me if we've met, when we met, what happened. I keep trying to pretend I don't understand and then I outright lie; but, he looks so confused and worried that I have answer him: yes we met, yes we had sex.

I watch the emotions wash over his face. He's confused, then surprised, then all colour drains from his face and he looks sick and terrified.

"You said that we had sex. You, um, you wanted to, right?"

I don't know what he's talking about. Sure he doesn't remember so he's going to ask questions and wants to know about … OH MY GOD! He thinks that he may have raped me.

"Oh Sid, yes, I wanted it. You didn't force me or anything."

Relief washes over his face and body and he drops this head in his hands and takes deep breaths.

"Anna" he begins. "I really don't know what to say. I've never had so much to drink that I didn't remember the next day. Most definitely, I've never had sex with a girl and not remember it. You must think I'm an asshole. How can you even be in the same room with me? I just don't know what to say. I was going to find you tomorrow and apologize if I was out of line earlier tonight; but, to hear about this, I don't even know how to begin to apologize for my behaviour."

The regret on his face pulls at my heart. I know that he's telling me the truth, in fact, I think that I've always known it which is why I've never held it against him and still can't.

"I know that Sid. It's the same for me. I've never had a one night stand or done anything remotely like that before either."

"Yeah, I know that about you too" he tells me and gives me a small smile.

We sit staring at each other in silence for a while. We're both lost in our own thoughts but can't take our eyes off of each other. I don't know what to do or say next. Shouldn't I feel some relief not to keep this secret any more?

"There's one thing I don't understand Anna. Why didn't you tell me? We've spent time together, alone, and you could have told me. Why not?"

This is the moment where I make a decision that can change my life. What I say will determine how we go forward? Truth? Lie? A mix of both? I settle on a mix.

"Sid, what was I supposed to say to you. 'Hi Sid, we actually have met before but you were too drunk to remember even though we had sex'?"

He looks thoughtful as if considering my words carefully. I decide to wait him out rather than continue. If you can't be completely honest then it's usually a good idea to say as little as possible.

"Yeah" Sid says. "I guess that's not exactly a conversation starter is it?"

He's said it straight-faced but it quickly turns into a small smile that pulls one from me too.

"What made you remember?" I ask.

"I didn't completely remember" he replies.

"Yeah but you remembered something, right?"

"Yes" he says and looks away uncomfortably.

"Tell me, please."

He doesn't look at me but says "it was in the alley."

"When we kissed?"

"Actually, um" he stops and seems embarrassed. "It was actually when you moaned."

I'm surprised by his admission and amused by his embarrassment. Then his actual words sink into my brain. Oh God, he said he remembered when I moaned, now I'm embarrassed, horribly embarrassed. He remembered my moan.

"I'm sorry Anna."

I can't take any more of his apologies. He didn't do anything wrong really while I …

"Can you forgive me Anna?"

I look back at him and he looks so contrite and sincere. It makes me ache.

"Sid, there is really nothing to forgive. I only had a couple of drinks so I knew exactly what I was doing that night. Maybe I should have said no knowing how much you were drinking. Let's just call it what it was: two people who had one night together and then went on their separate ways, ok?"

He gives me a smile, nods and says "ok."

We sit in comfortable silence this time and it's a nice silence. I begin to feel a connection with Sid that scares the shit out of me. There is no less reason to stay away from him now than there was before but the honesty between us is drawing us closer. It's more dangerous than ever.

Sid stands and walks toward me so I stand too. I'm rooted to the where is stand and can only watch as Sid slides his hand up my neck and strokes my cheek with his thumb. He smiles slightly and then reaches down to touch my lips with his own. Lightly his lips move over mine until I respond regardless of how much my head says that it's a bad idea for so many reasons.

Sid pulls back slightly and rubs his nose up and down mine.

"I really don't want to leave" he tells me. Before I can even process this admission, he continues "but I will."

He kisses me once more and then leaves the room.

All I can do is fall backwards on the bed and lie there, staring at the ceiling, and replaying the last twenty minutes. How did this day, that started so well, end this way? It's all Adam's fault. Adam and his stupid makeover and then the club. I sigh. Ok, it's not really Adam's fault. It's mine. It was my bright idea to come back to Pittsburgh and take the job with the Pens. I figured that I would be an intern so how much interaction would I really have with the players? It was a fine idea at the time.

I crawl up the bed, turn off the light and know that I'll be lying here awake for hours. I'm right and I don't fall asleep until the early hours of the morning.

When my alarm goes off, I grab my phone, turn off the alarm and check my messages. There's one from Jen asking that Adam, Meagan and I meet her for breakfast to talk about the day. Thank goodness I have an hour before I have to meet them which is enough time to get coffee, have a shower and pack to go to New Jersey for the game tomorrow.

I was confused about why we weren't staying in New York since it's only an hour or so to get to New Jersey. It doesn't seem to make sense to pack, unpack, switching hotels. Apparently, a few years ago, there was a snow storm and the Pens were staying in NYC before the New Jersey game. They weren't able to get to game because of the snow but if they'd stayed in New Jersey then they would have been fine. Since then, the team moves to New Jersey before a game there.

As I walk to the elevator with my bags, I text Geno with his morning schedule and meet Adam doing the same walk to the elevator.

"Good morning" he grumbles to me.

I knew that he had a little too much to drink. Maybe it was a little more than a little.

"How is the head?" I ask him.

He doesn't answer me with words but, instead, turns to me and grimaces. It's really cute.

"Ok, fine" I tell him.

"How are you fine?"

"I didn't drink as much as you did Adam."

He grumbles something, I can't quite make it out, and then winces when the bell chimes to let us know the elevator is here.

"Wait for me" I hear Meagan call out as we get into the elevator. When she enters, she looks at Adam and says "you kook a little green Adam."

She chuckles, Adam winces and I bite my tongue. What a bitch.

She prattles on about how great the club was and how good a time she had dancing with Geno making it sound like something happened between them. I know that she's full of crap. I may not have known Geno a long time but I do know that he wouldn't touch this girl if she was the last woman on earth.

When we get to the room where the team will eat breakfast, we find Jen on both her phone and her tablet. I don't know that I've ever seen her without one or the other and today it's both. The three of us grab breakfast from the buffet and then join Jen at her table as she's hanging up her call. We talk about our evenings for a few minutes and then review the day's schedule.

I take a lot of notes as Jen talks about the boy who will be visiting the team before the game. She's giving me the responsibility to make sure we have all of the Pen's gear for the boy and one of Geno's sweaters that he can sign. The Rangers PR team has been very accommodating with seats for the boy and family as well as a tour of Maddison Square Gardens. The family is very excited.

When we're done our preparation, I look up and see that the room is partially full of players and coaches. I didn't even notice them come in. A quick glance at the room tells me that Sid hasn't come down yet. Neither has Geno. Jen excuses herself and leaves us.

"Looking for anyone in particular?" Meagan asks with sarcasm dripping from each word.

"What does that me?" I ask before I can think better of it.

"You know" is all she says.

She grabs her things and leaves the table. Adam and I watch her walk away and stop by every table to flirt with the players. We both see her hand graze across Beau's back as she walks by. How does no one else notice?

"Seriously, she is such a bitch" Adam says.

"I know" I tell him.

I stop paying attention when Sid walks in the room. He looks around, eyes searching, until he sees me. The smile he gives me is warm and friendly. It leaves me feeling worried and guilty.

 _ **Author's Note: can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Sidney

I stretch and try not to get caught watching Geno and the boy with his family. I guess, technically, I'm watching Anna and pretending to be watching Geno and the family. The kid is adorable grinning up at Geno and drowning in his Pens sweater. Geno has signed it in the centre of the Penguin on the front and the boy keeps absently tracing it with his finger. It's really cute.

Geno stoops down to talk to the boy, who's about five or six years old, and they speak too softly for me to hear them. The parents are talking with the PR person from the Pen's Foundation so Geno has time to talk with the boy alone. Whatever they're talking about makes the boy grin, hugely, and then throw his arms around Geno's neck. Awkwardly, Geno hugs the boy back and pats him with his own goofy grin.

I glance up at Anna and watch her brush a tear off of her cheek. I catch her eye and she gives me a watery smile. They must be what my mom calls 'good tears.' She's actually famous for them. Anna seems to be experiencing those good tears now. She's close enough to hear the exchange between Geno and the boy. I wonder what they're talking about that has moved Anna to tears.

Geno stands and says to me "Sid, come here."

I stand and walk over to where Geno is now standing with the boy.

"Sid, this Sam. Sam this Sid, the second best player on the team."

The boy giggles and I laugh too. Geno is always good at making people laugh and have fun. No one realizes how much he loves kids and enjoys being with them. Too often to be with kids he would also have to be with the media so he's avoided it in the past; but, this year he seems to be jumping into philanthropy wholeheartedly. I look at Anna and she's laughing too.

I hold out my hand to Sam.

"Nice to meet you Sam" I tell him and we shake hands.

"Are you really the second best player?" he asks me.

This kid is too cute.

"Why do you think I go out on the ice second last and Geno goes out last?' I ask him.

Sam's eyes go wide and he thinks about if for a moment before nodding. At five or six years old, he doesn't understand the joke so he takes my comment literally. Besides, at least half of the time Geno is the best player on the team.

I head out to continue my warm ups in the hall. I find an empty one and begin my walking leg lifts as I've done thousands of times before. Muscle memory has my body moving in complete sync with my brain so I let my mind wander a bit.

Of course my mind wanders to Anna. She looks beautiful today even if she is in her buttoned up attire; but, when I look at her, I will always remember how she looked last night in the club. I've had some uncomfortable moments thinking about peeling her slowly out of that dress. She was equally appealing, although different, when I went to her room last night. Those shorts, very short, and tank top were both very revealing. I was too surprised at what she said about what happened with us before to process how she looked. Thankfully my brain took it all in so that I can remember it now. Especially the way her breasts pressed against the thin fabric of her top so that I could see the outline of her nipples.

"Sid!"

I notice at the last minute that I almost kicked Kuni doing his own kicks coming toward me. If I'd been paying attention then there would have been lots of room for both of us. I may have lots of muscle memory but I still need to focus on what I'm doing.

"Sorry Kuni" I say apologetically and we both continue in our own directions.

My mind goes back to Anna. Of course I didn't focus on how she looked last night. I was too stunned by what she said. There is no way I would have believed it in any other circumstances or from anyone else. I had sex with a girl and I don't remember it. The fact that Anna didn't tell me, or anyone else, and how embarrassed she was tells me that … oh shit! Did she tell Lauren? They're friends and don't girlfriends tell each other everything?

I break from my routine and look for Anna. Fortunately, I don't have to look far.

"Anna" I call after her.

She turns toward me, surprised but smiling.

"Hi Sid."

"Hi" I tell her, take her elbow and lead her to an empty hall.

"Is something wrong?" she asks me.

"No" I respond. "Maybe. Look, Anna, did you tell Lauren about you and me, you know?"

She looks appalled and takes a step back from me.

"Of course not" she tells me in a hushed tone. "I didn't tell anyone. Why would I?"

I can't help the slight sigh of relief.

"I didn't think you would but you and Lauren are friends, so I wondered" I let my sentence drift off at the end.

"Well I didn't" she tells me.

It's amazing to see the sudden and complete transformation of Anna in front of me. As she says 'well I didn't', I watch her literally straighten her spine, push her shoulders back and lift her chin up. I now understand what the word 'haughty' means. I'm watching it in front of me. It makes me laugh, unfortunately.

"What's so funny?" she demands.

Of course that makes me laugh more. I get an immediate image of a princess talking down to one of her loyal subjects. I've most certainly been put in my place.

"Sorry Anna" I tell her although it doesn't sound sincere since I'm still laughing. "You should see yourself right now. You're all buttoned up and professional, figuratively and literally, looking down your nose at me. It makes me want to muss you up."

The minute the words are out of my mouth I regret them. I want to get to know her better and this most definitely isn't the way to do it.

I'm entranced, no matter how much I try not to be, when her tongue darts out and moistens her bottom lip. She noticeably swallows and her eyes go wide. Clearly I affect her. This isn't a one-way attraction.

I step closer to her and cup her cheek with my hand. Briefly, too briefly, she leans in and nuzzles where I hold her cheek. As quickly as it happened, it's gone and then Anna is gone back down the hallway we came from.

I'm rattled. The attraction I feel for her is obvious, to me at least, and she must feel it too. She was an enthusiastic participant in our encounter outside the club. For a moment, she was exactly where I was and nuzzled my hand. Even when I left her last night, and gave her a brief kiss, she responded to me.

So why is she reticent the rest of the time like walking away now?

Maybe I can talk with her tonight after the game. It feels vital that I know how she feels and she know where my head is at. Even though she said that she was ok with what happened between us at the end of last season, maybe she isn't as ok as she thinks or says. How could a girl be ok with a guy who has sex with her and forgets her? Not for the first time, I feel a shiver of disgust go through me. How could I be 'that guy' and especially to a great girl like Anna?

I hear someone yell 'soccer' and pull myself out of my thoughts. I need to get my head in the game and fast. This is the first meeting with the Rangers and we need to win this one. It will do a lot for the psyche of the team to win and put last year's loss behind us. I give my head a shake and jog to where the guys are starting two-touch.

Anna

They won the game. The locker room is full of laughter and joy at beating the Rangers. Both Sid and Geno got a goal and Geno has two points with an assist. He's going to be really funny with the media tonight, I can tell already. That's good because here come the reporters.

Many, if not most, go directly to Sid. The next largest group is around Geno and I try to get close enough to hear everything. The visitor's locker room at the Gardens is tiny with all of these people in here. I can't hear most of the questions and I definitely can't hear the answers.

I use Olli's shoulder to help me stand up on the bench beside Geno. From here, I can see and hear both the reporters' questions and Geno's answers. He looks surprised for a moment when he notices me standing on the bench but then goes back to answering the questions. When I see that it's time to end the scrum, I shout out "last question." When Geno has answered it, the reporters dispersed. Usually they'd go on to talk with other players but they need to file their stories and get to New Jersey just like we do.

As I look down, I wonder how I'm going to get off of this bench. In my straight skirt, I don't have enough flexibility to sit down. In my high heels, jumping is out of the question too. Crap.

"Here" Geno says next to me.

Before I can react, his hands are around my waist and then I'm on the floor. He lifted me as if I weighed nothing. He's clearly in really good shape.

"Thanks" I tell him and pray that I'm not turning red.

He smiles and goes back to removing his gear.

"Good move" I hear and turn to see Jen.

Is she serious or kidding? Did I do the wrong thing or the right thing?

"I've had to do that a couple of times myself" she continues. "At my height, I can never see over the reporters and in this locker room, forget it. We've got an hour before we need to be on the road" she reminds me and then disappears down the hall.

I look back at the locker room and all of the players are gone to the showers. When we're on the road, the guys tend to focus on getting out the door, on the bus and onto the next city quickly.

As Jen said, we're all on the train and on our way to New Jersey within an hour. The players are all sitting together and eating dinner. I'm sitting with Adam and he's entertaining me with his ideas for what we should do in Washington. There's a restaurant or a bar he has always wanted to try so we have to go to it according to him.

I am definitely not looking forward to Washington. There will undoubtedly be a politician or two at the game and, since everyone knows that my dad may announce he's running in the next presidential election, I'm sure they'll want to say hello to me. Of course they'll hope that I tell my father that they stopped by to see me. I hate politics.

The trip to New Jersey is blessedly short and I'm in my hotel room quickly. The travel coordinator takes care of checking us in and out of the hotels so it's one less thing that we have to worry about. I decline Adam's request to have a drink in the bar and go directly to my room. It's 1am and I'm exhausted.

I do take the time for a bath and soak away the long day. Freshly scrubbed and pampered, I'm just checking email when my phone buzzes.

'Can I come to your room?'

The text from Sid gives me déjà vu. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Sid has tried to talk to me all day after our conversation in the hallway. I've started feeling rude with how much I've been avoiding him and the number of times I've ducked away from him when he's approached me. It's my guilt that answers his request.

'Sure room 814'

This time I have the forethought to put on a sweatshirt over my tank top. I don't have time to put on jeans so shorts and a sweatshirt will have to do. There's a knock on the door.

"Hi" Sid says and smiles when I open the door.

"Hi" I reply and back up to let him in.

He does and sits in the desk chair which leaves me with the bed. We sit facing each other and I wait for him to speak. After all, he is the one who asked to come to me.

"I feel like I should be apologizing for our conversation earlier; but, I have to be honest, I'm really not sure what I did. I just know that you walked away kind of suddenly" he tells me.

Now I feel really guilty. How do I push him away without hurting him? There has to be a way. I hate that he feels like he has to apologize.

"It's nothing to do with you" I lie. It's uncomfortable how easy it is to lie to him and not for the first time either. "I was just overwhelmed by the family from Make a Wish."

Sid's eyes narrow and he tilts his head. I maintain his gaze while he thoughtfully watches me. He must come to a conclusion because he gives me a small smile.

"Yeah, that kid was great" he says.

At least we're on easier ground now talking about work.

"Sam was so cute" I tell him. "When he met Geno and shook his hand, the kid had to crane his neck back to see up to Geno's face. I thought it might be awkward and that Geno may not know how to talk to a five year old but it was fine. Sam was quiet all the way from where I met him and his parents and down to the locker room. That made me even more worried; but, as soon as he shook Geno's hand, Sam started talking and didn't stop. He asked Geno about winning the Stanley Cup, living in Russia, why he uses a one piece stick instead of two. He really went on and on."

Sid chuckles and says "he seemed like a good kid."

"It was nice of you telling him that Geno is the best guy on the team, sort of. You implied it is why he goes out last."

"Much of the time, Geno is the best guy on our team."

Sid is being sincere when he says this about Geno. Most players think that Sid is the best player in the world and here Sid is saying that Geno is often the best guy on their team. It's refreshing to see that humility with a professional athlete. It doesn't mean that Sid doesn't think he's good, and he knows that he's the best the rest of the time, but he gives Geno his due too.

"Why does Geno go out last rather than you?" I ask.

"When Geno came to the Pens, we talked about who should go out last because I did before he got here and he did in Russia. His English was almost non-existent but he as able to tell me he had three years in the Russian 'super league'. I found out that it meant he was in the pro league for three years compared to my one year."

"And that's why he goes out last?"

"Yep, it made sense to me."

Of course it made sense to Sid. He was the best player on the team, on his way to being the best player in the world, and he thought it as fair that Geno went out last because he was in the pros longer. Sid may have a lot of confidence in his ability but he doesn't have the ego that most many athletes. His sense of fairness and willingness to be a team-player are incredibly, well, Sidney.

"It's just like you."

"What do you mean?" Sid asks me.

I'm not even aware that I spoke my thoughts out loud until Sid asked me that question.

"I mean that" I stop. How do I explain what I mean? "You always put others first. Most captains would insist that they go out last. Hell, they wouldn't even have the conversation with another player never mind let another player go out last. Yet you not only ask Geno about it but then let him take that spot in the lineup."

Sid frowns like he's trying to figure something out. He just stares at me quietly. It's really disconcerting.

After a few moments, his brow clears and he gives me a small smile. I'm surprised when he stands and then comes over to the bed to sit beside me. He is close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body next to mine, I feel the warmth spread through me and warm me everywhere. I'm startled when his hand moves and covers mine. The warmth becomes heat, an intense heat that flows through me quickly.

Sid laces his fingers with mine and the light but steady pressure is confusing. Why is he here? Why is he holding my hand? I still haven't figured out why he kissed me last night. Oh my God, was that only last night? There is absolutely no reason that Sid should be here, holding my hand, or kissing me last night?

Regardless of my brain's confusion, my body seems to understand and shivers as Sid runs his thumb slowly across my knuckles. Traitor. My body is a traitor. It is betraying me quickly and over and over. His thumb continues its slow exploration of my knuckles and my body, the traitor that it is, continues to respond. The shiver becomes heat. The heat moves and I can feel my nipples tighten, my stomach ripples and between my legs, oh God, between my legs I can feel moisture pool.

How is it that my body can react so intensely, so outrageously to only his hand on mine and thumb rubbing over my knuckles? Maybe I'm remembering our kiss last night. Or maybe I'm remembering that night, many months ago, that Sid only vaguely remembers.

"This has never happened to me before" he whispers.

I'm startled by his words; both the words themselves and that he's spoken. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that he startled me.

"I'm serious Anna, this has never happened to me before."

Oh, I get it. He's talking about what happened that night at Beau's house. He needs me to know that it's unlike him and he is really concerned that I'm going to think badly of him. He's such a nice guy.

"I know that Sid" I reply. "I've never done anything like that before either. It was totally unlike me."

"No" he says. "I'm not talking about 'that' night. I'm talking about last night and tonight. I've never done anything like this, with anyone, ever."

Oh. But what does he mean by 'this?' What is he doing? Well, I know what he's doing, but … I'm so confused. Maybe if I was more experienced with this kind of thing then I would know what he's talking about. Maybe then I'd know what to say or do.

I feel Sid shift beside me and his free hand cups my cheek to turn my gaze toward him. His eyes darken as they stare into mine and his hand pulls me toward him. I can't do anything but lean into him and close my eyes as his lips touch mine. Hesitantly, his lips move exploring, slowly coaxing mine. It takes me a few moments to catch up to what is actually happening. My brain tells me that I should pull away and tell him that I'm not interested. This is dangerous for me personally and professionally. I could lose my job but, more importantly, I could lose my heart. None of this is more important right now than the feel of Sid's lips against mine so I give in.

I press my hand against his at my cheek and respond to his lips with my own. I hear a slight catch in his breath when he feels our hands meet, my lips move, and he turns his body more fully toward mine. My body heats with every place that his touches mine especially when his fingers tighten on my cheek. I release his hand and place mine on his shoulder before sliding up his neck, cheek and into his hair. His hand slides to my shoulder, waist, hip and then settles on my lower back so that he can pull me toward him.

At first, I resist and pull slightly back from him instead. We're both breathing hard but don't move any further away from each other. It's as if we're both trying to figure out which way we want to go: toward or away from each other.

"Anna" Sid whispers.

It's not a question. He simple says my name softly, reverently, and waits for me to make a decision.

My problem is that I can remember it all. I remember what it feels like to be in his arms. I can remember the feel of his lips on my skin, his hard, naked body covering my own and his hands everywhere at once. The memories pull at me stronger than the smart part of my brain.

I pull Sid's head down to mine and take his lips with my own. Sid catches up quickly and pulls me onto his lap so that I'm straddling him while his lips travel down my jaw and over my neck. His hands move down to my hips and pull me against him. I'm clinging to his shoulders and the thick, hard muscles there. His lips continue to kiss my neck until they reach my collar bone. He pulls back then so that we are nose to nose. The desire I see in his eyes terrifies me but, before I can process the fear, Sid has taken my lips again.

His tongue slides along the seam of my lips which open immediately for him. It seems my body will do whatever he demands. I no longer have control and I really can't seem to care right now. I lose all track of time as we kiss and explore but, at some point, I have to stop to catch my breath. God this man can kiss. I'm desperate for his lips and don't care if I'm still out of breath.

Sid's hands slide up from my hips and under my sweatshirt. The feeling of his hands on the bare skin of my back is electric. It also shocks me back into reality. I'm in a hotel room, alone, with a man I barely know putting my heart at risk again. What am I doing? This isn't smart. What if someone finds out or sees him leave my room?

I pull back from Sid and slide back onto the bed beside him. The only sound in the small room is our breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I watch Sid shift and can see his errection that I just felt against my core. It almost makes me forget again, almost.

"Um" I begin but don't know what to say. I've never been in this situation before and never even imaged that I ever would be. I have so little experience with men and yet I've found myself in this situation, alone with Sid. It's like there is a magnetic pull between us; but, I have my brain thinking again and my body is finally listening.

"Yeah" Sid says.

Is he mad? Did he expect this to happen? Oh God, did he come here thinking that we'd have sex since we've already done it even if Sid doesn't remember? I wish I had more experience and knew what to do right now.

"I didn't come here expecting this to happen" Sid says.

"Oh" is all I can reply.

"I just don't want you to think that's why I came. I really just wanted to see you and make sure that you were ok after our conversation earlier today. You seemed kind of weird."

"Weird how?"

"Just weird. So, we're ok?" he asks.

My lips are tingling and can still feel his. I know that they are swollen. My breasts are full and heavy and wishing for his touch. I can still feel his erection grinding into my core. How can we ever be ok?

"Yeah Sid, of course we're ok."

He smiles and says "good. I better go. We don't have practice but we do have meetings in the morning and then the game."

"Ok" I tell him.

I walk with him to the door and feel so uncomfortable. What does he expect? What do I do now?

I'm saved having to figure it out because Sid kisses me, lingering for a moment, and then leaves the room.

"Good night" he says before the door shuts behind him.

I lean my forehead on the back of door Sid just left. What am I going to do now?


	11. Chapter 11

Sidney

I go through the motions warming up for the game while I keep an eye out for Anna. Since that night in her hotel room, the second night, I've been thinking about her all the time. Even in my dreams, which makes for a very uncomfortable wake up call. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night from an orgasm with the resulting mess everywhere.

Before practice this morning, I heard Geno laughing and talking with Anna. He had his arm around her and she was laughing at him. I felt an unexpected jolt of jealousy watching the two of them so comfortable with each other and Anna showing Geno such easy affection. I know that its work and they could even be developing a friendship but there was that jealous racing through me anyway.

I've been tied up in knots by this girl ever since I saw her in that dress. Actually, if I'm honest with myself, I'd admit that that I've been noticing her since I first saw her. At first it was her professionalism and how good she was at her job. The more we interacted, the more I noticed her physical attributes. Ha, 'attributes', I noticed her ass in those tight skirts. Now I really want to get to know her. She's usually so buttoned up, physically you can see it but also with sharing who she is and what she thinks. I'm able to chip through that shell every time we spend time together and that needs to continue.

"And this is the locker room where some of the players are dressing and warming up."

I look up and see Anna with a group of men walk into the locker room. The first thing I notice is that Anna looks different. She's dressed in her usual uniform of a button down shirt, skirt to the knees, heels a little too high to be considered conservative, and modest jewellery. This time she's also wearing a jacket to match her skirt which she usually ditches before the game. She is also standing very straight and has her 'professional smile' on.

The next thing I notice are the men with her. They all look the same: button down shirts rolled up at the sleeves, pressed khakis and loafers. Behind the group of men is another group of people on cell phones watching the group with Anna. It's easy to tell that they are politicians. I wonder why they are with Anna.

"Is that Sidney Crosby?" a guy with a New Jersey accent asks Anna.

"Yes it is" she answers with 'that' smile.

"Can we meet him?" another guy asks.

"We don't like to interrupt the player's warm ups, maybe after the game" she says apologetically.

The men murmur their discord at Anna so I stand up. Usually I hate to interrupt my pre-game routines but it will only take me a few minutes and it will help Anna.

"It's ok Anna" I say as I approach the group. "I can make an exception this once."

I give them my own 'company' smile and shake hands with each man as Anna introduces them. There are a couple of senators and the rest are congressmen. Politicians all of them. I knew it.

We exchange pleasantries, the kind that mean nothing after they're said, and then they each want pictures. It's taking all of the patience I can muster to keep the smile in place and answer their questions. Thankfully, Anna steps in before I reach my limit and want to kill everyone.

"Sid, thank you so much" she tells me. "I know you need to get back to your warm ups."

It takes a few more minutes to shake everyone's hand again and accept their good wishes for a great season. Of course each of them acknowledges that the good wishes are only good if it's not against their home team. Every one of them chuckles when they say it as if it's the funniest thing in the world and they ignore that everyone has said it before them.

When I'm back at my stall, Duper leans in and asks "what was that?"

"Anna is giving a tour to a bunch of politicians" I reply. "I don't know why but" and I shrug.

"Sid, seriously, you don't know why?"

He's looking at me like crazy but I really can't think of why she'd be giving these guys a tour. I would think that it would be the Caps PR who would do it.

"No, I don't get it" I tell him.

Duper lowers his voice and says "it's rumoured that her father is going to run for president. They're probably here to suck up to her so that she'll tell her father."

Oh, that makes sense. Duper goes back to putting on his gear and I stare at my skates. Did they really just come here to suck up to Anna in order to get to her father? That's horrible. They're bothering her at work in the brief hope that she'll talk to her dad about them. She's already working long hours and then they make her deal with that shit too. It's crazy.

I put that stuff aside and continue getting ready for the game. There's five minutes before I need to be in the locker room for the coach's final thoughts so I get my phone from the change room. I do a quick Google search and find a funny political cartoon and send it via text to Anna. Maybe this will give her a chuckle.

I make it back to the locker room and sit in my stall as Mike walks into the room. He goes through the last minute directions for handling the Caps and announces who is starting the game. It's my line which will probably mean that they'll start with Ovechkin's line. I love starting a game against the other team's top line. It's the best way to get engaged right away.

When Mike's done, I put my helmet on and lift my stick. I see Anna across the room and she smiles at me and mouths 'thank you' while holding up her phone.

"What are you smiling at?" Duper asks me.

I turn and he's looking at me quizzically but I just shake his head and say "nothing."

The game goes by quickly and we spend most of the game playing catch up behind the Caps. They get a lead and then we tie it. They get the lead again and then we tie it. Flower all but stands on his head to stop pucks but we suck in front of him. Thankfully the Caps' defense has holes in it too. With twenty seconds left, I'm on the ice with Geno and the score is tied. The play is frantic and there's no time to think. Every movement is instinct and reaction. Geno's instinct is to go to the net and I know him well enough that my pass meets his stick which he buries five hole on Holtby.

The mood is high in the locker room. We've had a very successful first road trip of the season winning all three games. The music is loud and the guys are yelling and congratulating each other.

When the music is suddenly silenced, we all look to the door and Jen is standing there with her ever present folio. We know that means the media is on the way. I quickly grab my hat and a towel and sit down to wait. I don't have to wait long.

Anna

We won the game. Unfortunately, I spent an hour that I didn't have with the senators and congressmen giving them a tour and meeting some of the players before the game. Sid was incredibly kind to break from his warm up to do a meet and greet with them. I don't know if he could tell how stressed out I was but it was a welcomed few moments when I could pull myself together while they focused on Sid.

My head is still pounding and I've taken more than a few aspirin. The cold wash cloth over my eyes is helping. So is the glass of wine that the flight attendant gave me and the white noise of the plane's engines. We land in thirty minutes and then I'll be in my bed thirty minutes after that. I can't wait.

"Can I sit?"

I remove the wash cloth and see Sid standing in the aisle. He sits beside me after I nod.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

"I'm fine" I respond.

Sid frowns, pauses a moment and then asks again "are you ok?"

I ignore his question and say "thank for the cartoon. It was really funny."

He smiles and says "I'm glad but don't think that I've not noticed you ignored my question."

Damn.

"I'm just tired. It's my first road trip and I don't think I quite realized just how much work it would be. Did you see Adam?" I ask and nod behind us where Adam is currently asleep and snoring.

"Yeah" Sid says and chuckles. "I was curious about why you were giving those politicians a tour. I would have thought that someone from the Caps would give them the tour since they're the home town team."

How do I answer him? Do I tell him that everyone is constantly sucking up to my father since the rumours have heated up that he's going to run for president? I suddenly want to pour my heart out to Sid but many years of practice has me obfuscating.

"Maybe the Caps were busy" I tell him. "Or it could be because they know who I am."

"Probably the last one, right?"

I sigh and nod.

"That must be frustrating or annoying for you. Does it happen often?"

"This is the first time" I tell him.

"We're only five games into the season and you ignored my question again."

I sigh again.

"It depends on where I am. It doesn't happen that often in the hockey world. Very rarely do I get recognized as the governor's daughter. It's not like he's the president. I'm hardly well known by the general public."

Sid is thoughtful for a few minutes and stares directly ahead. I'm glad that this conversation seems to have run out and really want to change the subject.

"Has your dad gone home?" I ask him.

"Yeah, he went home after our home games. Sometimes he'll come to away games toward the end of the season but he doesn't travel with us a lot."

"Is it true that he stays in the same hotel rather than staying with you in Pittsburgh?"

Sid laughs and says "yeah, he does."

"Why? You must have a lot of room in your new house."

"It's our routine" he tells me. Ah, even his dad is superstitious. "How do you know that I have a new house?"

I try to think fast how to answer him. Surely I can't tell him that I listen to anyone who is talking about Sid and heard it from one of the other interns.

"I think I heard it in the office" I tell him. "Do you have a home in Nova Scotia too?"

Sid smiles and tells me about his house in Canada. He built it the second summer he was in the NHL. The first summer he stayed at his parents' home but then he wanted his own. It's on a lake where he fishes, has a full gym and a shooting pad to practice shots. The way he talks about it makes me understand how much he loves the east coast and his home town.

"Wow, it sounds wonderful" I tell him. "How long do you get to spend there?"

"It depends on the schedule but usually most of July and all of August."

We talk more about his home town and what it was like growing up there. He had a pretty typical life until he was nine years old. That's when the scouts started noticing how good he was.

"Scouts started noticing you when you were nine years old?" I ask with incredulity.

Sid shrugs.

"How did they know that you were going to be, well, you?" I ask.

"I guess I always played with kids older than I was which got around. At five years old I was playing with eight year olds. In my teens, I tried to play with the older leagues and my parents even went to court to get the rules overturned but they lost."

I'm stunned. They went to court to get him to play hockey? It sounds absurd to me.

"Why couldn't you just play with the kids your age? You'd be a star, right?" I ask.

"Sure but you only get better and challenge yourself by playing with those better than you. When I played with the older guys, they were faster and bigger and it made me play better."

"It makes sense I guess. So what happened when you lost the court case?"

"I was also getting a lot of grief from the players and parents so my parents sent me away to school. Shattucks St. Mary."

"What do you mean that you got grief from the parents?" I ask him.

"They didn't like that I was getting goals or had the puck so much. They wanted it for their kids I guess. It makes sense" he answers and shrugs.

"It makes sense except that you were a kid. They were grown adults who should know better" I tell him. Sid smiles at me. "What?" I ask.

"You're getting awfully worked up for something that happened fifteen years ago when you didn't even know me."

"Yeah, well" is all I can manage. He's right and I don't know why I'm so angry. "It's just not right. Adults should know better."

"It's hockey in Canada" he says as if it explains everything.

The flight attendant tells us that we're preparing to land and then continues up the aisle.

"I guess I should go back to my seat" Sid says but doesn't move.

"You realize that you're not moving right?" I tell him and smile.

"I guess I don't want to go" he says.

I feel my heart actually skip a beat. Holy crap. How does he do that with seven little words?

"Sidney" I begin but don't know what to say next.

"I want to get to know you Anna" he says in a low voice. "Don't you want that too?"

I feel his words echo throughout my entire body. He wants to know me. What if there are parts that he doesn't want to know? How do I keep those parts hidden? I find the easiest excuse.

"Sid, I could lose my job" I tell him.

"What do you mean?"

"It's in my contract that I can't have relationships with other employees. You may be the captain of the team but you are still a paid employee."

"Are you serious?" he asks.

"Yeah, you've never heard of that before?"

"No. I've never been interested in having a relationship with anyone so it never came up I guess."

"You haven't?" I ask. Did I really just ask him that?

"No, Anna, I haven't" he tells me leaning in close. "Until now."

I'm mesmerized by his eyes and his lips. What were we talking about?

"Sid, really, I could lose my job."

He sits up and his expression becomes unreadable.

"Ok" he tells me and stands. "I understand." He turns to go but then looks back at me. "Don't think that I didn't notice you ignored the question. You didn't say no."

Damn, I watch him walk away and know that he's right. I didn't say no.

Sidney

Even though we have the day off, I need to be at the arena to do some publicity pictures for the Pens and Roots. At least Jen was able to organize it so that they happen at the same time. Three hours is easier if they're all together. This is one of the things I hate the most about the job. I'm a hockey player not an actor or model. I think I'd kill myself if I had to stand in front of a camera all day and recite lines or turn this way, then that way, now smile, less, more.

I see both Jen and Anna when I enter the players' lounge. It takes a lot of willpower to keep a huge smile off of my face when I see Anna. I thought a lot about what she told me on the plane. She could lose her job if anyone found out that we were, well, together. I decided that I should just stay away from her. Then I decided that we could simply keep it a secret. Then I decided we should stay away from each other. Then I went back and forth like that all night without coming to a final conclusion. My head, which I rely on to make smart decisions, is warring with other parts of my body. For the first time, I'm not sure who's going to win.

"Hi Sid" Jen says as I approach them.

"Hi Jen" I reply then turn. "Good morning Anna."

"Hi" she says softly.

"Sid, there are a few guys doing interviews and photo shoots today so Anna and a few others will help run the day's schedule" Jen says.

Does that mean I'm lucky enough to have Anna with me?

"I've assigned Anna to you and Kris" Jen confirms.

I won't have Anna to myself but I will get to spend a few hours with her today. The thought excites me.

When Kris enters the room, Jen explains to us the process, who we'll be meeting with and what we want to accomplish for the day. Most of our interviews are left up to us and how we answer questions. There are standard things that all hockey players say and then there are messages that the Pens want expressed. Today is one of those days when we have common messaging.

"Any questions?" Jen asks Tanger and me.

Neither of us has any so Jen heads off to check on everything else and leaves us with Anna.

"We have ten minutes before we begin which means you have about five minutes if there's anything you need to do" Anna tells us. When both Tanger and I shake our heads, Anna says "last call for the bathroom for the next three hours guys."

Tanger says "I'll be right back."

Anna looks at me, so I tell her "I'm good, thanks."

She smiles. I love her smile. I could get lost in her smile. Her green eyes brighten when she smiles and I see a glimmer of the depth of emotion there that she keeps banked and hidden away. Only a few times has she let her guard down so that those emotions come to the surface.

"Jen trusts you a lot" I tell her.

Anna first looks surprised and then pensive.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"In all the time that she's been here, she's never had an intern work so closely with the core players. Take today for example. In the past, Jen would frantically be ushering me from place to place as well as making sure the whole event is run well. I guess now that she has you, she can delegate more."

"She could do that with anyone Sid. We have a great group of interns."

"Why do you do that?" I ask a little more harshly than I intended.

"Do what?"

"Whenever someone gives you a compliment, you brush it off or disagree. Surely you see how talented you are. Why the self-deprecation?"

Anna frowns and I watch her process what I've said.

"I didn't know that I do that" she tells me with a shrug.

"Well you do and you should listen and believe more of what people tell you. Even if you don't believe it when I say that you're good at your job, you must realize that Jen wouldn't give you this responsibility if she didn't think that she could trust you to do it well? Consider today for example. You are assigned media-facing stuff. You aren't stuffing envelopes, lugging equipment around or helping photographers set up. She's given you important work."

I stop when I realize that my little monologue was impassioned, I've moved closer so that I'm only inches away and my hand is holding her elbow. I drop my hand immediately and take a step back. I watch her head tilt to the right, her lips part and her tongue moisten her bottom lip. Unfortunately, she doesn't say anything because Tanger is back and we're off to our first media stop.

The first stop is Roots Sports. Tanger gets interviewed first by Potash and I get my picture taken. Anna gives me my sweater and makes sure that both the photographer and I have everything we need before she leaves presumably to check on Tanger.

I catch myself before I roll my eyes as the make-up person dusts my face with powder. This is the worst of the horrible things we have to do during photo sessions. Sometimes they want to put on more than powder too. If possible, it's written in my endorsement contracts what 'make up' I will and won't wear. There was a horrible shoot about eight years ago where they wanted me to wear eye liner to 'bring out' my eyes more. I learned my lesson from that one.

Thankfully, it doesn't last too long and then Tanger and I trade places. It's Potash doing the interview. There's a series of questions that they ask all of the players and use during the game day broadcasts.

We joke around a bit before we begin. Potash has been around my entire career with the Pens and he's like a team member now. Regardless of ages, we all treat him like the little brother you love to have around but love to yank his chain even more.

I notice that Anna stays for the interview. I need to force myself to concentrate on Potash.

"What is the weirdest thing you've ever been asked to autography?" Potash asks.

"It happened in Florida on our last trip. Someone asked me to autograph a coconut" I tell him.

We joke back and forth about it for a few moments.

"Who is your celebrity crush?"

Without conscious thought, my eyes go directly to Anna's. I'm suddenly very aware of her presence and the nature of the question I've been asked.

"Um" I begin. Smooth, really smooth. "I'd say Jennifer Gardner."

I've always gone for the athletic type of girl. I see Anna's lips tighten. Damn, Potash had to ask that question. The last thing I want to talk about in front of Anna is another girl; although, it's a celebrity crush and not someone I would ever meet never mind date. Why would that bother Anna?

The questions continue and become more benign and silly. I'd love to hear what some of the guys answered especially to questions about the team. Who is the biggest prankster? It's a toss-up between Flower, Duper and Tanger. It's interesting that they're all from Quebec.

When the interview is done, I follow Anna to where Tanger is waiting for us and taking of his sweater. Anna ushers us to our next stop and then the next. We finish the day in exactly the three hours promised and Tanger leaves us right away to pick up his son at pre-school. It's Anna and I left alone again and I muse how to take advantage of this time.

"Is there anything else you need Sid?"

Anna is professional and almost impersonal with her question. She could almost be saying 'Mr. Crosby' instead of 'Sid.'

"No" I answer unsure of what to say or do. "Thanks for everything Anna."

She smiles and says goodbye. I still don't know what to do so I just watch her walk away. Fuck.

The afternoon goes by quickly because I have so many things to do. After a road trip, there is the mundane household stuff to take care of and, although I wouldn't admit it, I like it. First is the dry cleaner, then Walmart and then the grocery store. It takes twice as long at the grocery store because I get recognize. Thankfully I still have time to drop off all the groceries at home and then meet the guys for dinner.

I'm distracted throughout dinner. The guys laugh and joke around me but my mind keeps straying back to Anna. I wonder what she's doing tonight. Is she out with friends? Oh fuck, is she out on a date? I feel distinct pangs of jealousy as I think of her out on a date in that dress she wore in New York. I'm so disturbed by these thoughts that I decline going out to a bar with the guys after dinner.

Now I sit on my sofa, bottle of water in one hand and my phone in the other while absently watching a Rangers Canadiens game. I want to call her. I just want to hear her voice. Would she pick up? What if she is out on a date? Fuck. I give up and text her.

'You busy?'

I wait, and wait, and wait. It feels like hours but I know that it's just a few minutes. Finally, she texts back.

'Not really'

I feel relief that she's not on a date.

'What are you doing?' I ask.

'Watching the NY MTL game'

Holy shit, she's watching hockey and the exact game I'm watching.

'Got time to talk?'

Again she makes me wait. And wait. And wait. Finally my phone rings.

"Hi" I answer.

"Hi."

There's an awkward silence that follows. I got her on the phone so now what.

"Ow!" she exclaims.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, did you see that hit?" she asks.

I focus back on the TV and watch Tanner Glass plaster PK Subban into the boards. I've been on the receiving end of that hit and it definitely hurts.

"Yeah, ouch" I reply.

"Why didn't he get a penalty?" she asks.

As the reply is shown in slow motion, I walk her through the hit and the rules that allow that kind of hit. It was full body, a nanosecond after PK passed the puck and no head contact. It's a textbook clean hit.

"I know you guys where pads but doesn't that hurt?" she sound incredulous as she asks her question.

"We do wear pads and the boards are made so that they give a little when you hit them. We also learn how to take a hit so that it hurts less; but, to answer your question, yes it does hurt. I've been hit by Glasser too and know first-hand."

"That's another thing that I don't get" she says. It seems she's in the mood to talk even if it is about hockey rather than her. "I don't get the nicknames. I understand Duper and Flower is creative; but, why put an 'r' at the end of some names that make it even longer?"

I can't help laughing at her question. She even makes this question sound haughty. It seems that when Anna feels something is confusing, doesn't make sense, or seems stupid, she gets quite haughty.

"I don't know. It's just the way it happens I guess" I reply.

"Are you laughing at me?"

She sounds haughtier, if that's possible or even a word, and I chuckle again.

"I'm sorry Anna. I can't help it. You just sound so" I don't know how to finish.

"So what?" she asks.

"I'm really sorry but all I can think of is how haughty you sound."

She doesn't reply. In fact, I have to look at my phone to make sure that we're still connected, we are.

"Anna?" Nothing. "Anna? Are you there?"

After a few moments, she says "you take that back."

Is she serious? Is she kidding? Did I piss her off?

"I'm serious Sidney." Oh oh, she's using my full name like my mom does when she's pissed. "You take that back Sidney Crosby or I will tell the entire team that you read Fifty Shades of Grey."

I expel a sigh of relief. She's definitely kidding.

"Ok, ok, I take it back" I tell her. "Anything but that."

Finally, I hear her start to laugh. At first it's a chuckle but then it becomes a full-on giggle. I don't think I've heard her giggle before and it's a beautiful, girly sound.

"Ok" she says when she can speak. "But I would love to see what Pascal or Marc would do with that information."

"It might be fun, for you" I tell her.

"Oh, it would definitely be fun for me and hell for you I imagine."

"Yes, a horrible hell."

"Ok, I won't tell them but you need to answer one question for me."

I'm hesitant but I say "ok."

"You never told me why you read Fifty Shades of Grey."

I know that my face is turning red and I'm so glad we're on the phone. She's remembering our conversation from the elevator?

"I'm waiting Sid" she says in a sing-song voice.

"Ok fine" I tell her. I close my eyes as if that will make it easier to say. "I heard some of the guy's wives talking about it for weeks. When they talked about some of the details, I wondered about it so I bought the books."

"You bought them because you wondered about them? That's it?"

She's to fucking perceptive.

"Not completely" I admit. I wanted to get to know more about Anna so how come we're talking about me? "I've always wanted to do, um, wanted to try, you know. I thought that I could see what made the wives so interested."

"Oh Sid. You are seriously adorable."

She just called me adorable. I guess that's a good thing.

"And why did you read them Anna."

"You could say that I was curious too."

Her voice lowers and she sounds uncertain or maybe shy. I can't tell so I decide to take a chance.

"What were you curious about?" I ask.

She's doesn't answer me immediately. Maybe I went too far. I intended to keep it light and just get to know her by chatting about easy, benign things. Instead I immediately go to sex. Wait a minute, she's the one who brought up the book and asked me first, right?

"Ok" she begins. "I really have no experience with, you know, that kind of thing and I was curious too."

Oh. Wow.

"Curious enough to try it?" I ask.

"Oh no, I've never tried that."

Hmm.

"But you want to?" I ask.

"Well" she begins and pauses. "Not, you know, the pain part but, the other stuff, maybe."

She speaks hesitantly, softly, and I feel her voice directly in my dick.

"What do you want to try?" I ask.

I hear a nervous, soft giggle but nothing else. I wait for her to answer but she says nothing.

"Do you want to be tied up?" I ask stunned at my sudden bravery.

It suddenly feels vital that I know the answer.

"Yes" she says so softly that I almost don't hear her.

Wow.

"Blindfolded?" I ask.

"Yes."

Now I can imagine her in that tight dress, arms behind her back with her wrists bound and a blindfold covering her eyes. Fuck.

This conversation has gone way over the line. It's so far over that I can't even see the line anymore. Why does this girl have this kind of effect on me? Who fucking cares right now?

"Would you like me to tie you up and blindfold you?" I ask.

My voice is low and deep. I almost growl the question at her.

"Sid" she says but stops.

"Would you?" I ask again maybe pushing too hard.

"Yes."

I feel I might explode at that one word. Yes. One word that holds so much promise and so much potential pleasure. I've never had the guts to ask any girl I've been with to try this with me. Maybe it's that we're on the phone so it's less embarrassing or maybe it's simply because it's Anna; but, I feel safe asking her the question and know that she won't laugh at me.

I can hear her breath quicken into the phone. It's soft but I can definitely hear it. She's affected by this conversation as much as I am.

"Is that all you want Anna?"

"No" she answers.

"Then what else?"

I hear her sigh into the phone and instinctively know that our sex talk is over.

"Sid, I can't" she tells me in a pained voice.

Is she that afraid of losing her job? I could make sure that wouldn't happen. Besides, we could hide it from everyone. The whole team is used to me keeping my relationships private.

"I need to go Sid. I have an early morning. Good night."

The phone goes dead before I can respond. I'm hard as a fucking rock since, without realizing it, I've been stroking myself through my jeans for the last few minutes. After turning off the TV, I head to my bathroom for a shower. If I don't take care of this then I'm never getting to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Anna

I'm exhausted. I was up all night thinking about the call with Sid. In fact, I was thinking about all of the moments with Sid since training camp started regardless of my promise for it not to happen. Tonight is a big night too. It's the first bobble head giveaway and it's Geno. Jen is letting me run with the whole thing and I've been crazed.

"Go have a nap."

I look up and Adam is beside my desk. His arms are crossed and he's frowning at me.

"Adam, I can't. There's too much to do."

"There is nothing left to do except open the doors. You can have a nap" he tells me.

I point to the box beside me with a dozen bobble heads in them.

"I have to get these autographed by Geno" I tell Adam.

"And what else?"

I look at my desk and my phone but I really can't think of what else I have to do. Is that because there's nothing to do or because my sleep deprived brain has stopped thinking?

"That's what I thought" he tells me. "Go down and get these autographed as Geno is leaving from practice and then have a nap."

There's an office at ice level that is used for overflow for player meetings. The PR team put a sofa in it so that we can use it for exactly this purpose. The idea is a really good one right now.

"That's actually a good idea" I tell him.

He stays until I've picked up the box and start walking to the elevator before he goes back to his desk. I'm down in the players' lounge quickly and sit to wait for Geno.

"You miss me already?" Geno calls from across the room.

I chuckle and reply "always."

He sits on the couch next to me and looks in the box.

"I sign them already" he points to the bobble heads.

"You signed the ones for the kids you invited to your box tonight. These are the ones that we're auctioning on the internet. I thought we'd get them all done today."

Geno tilts his head and says "no, you miss me."

I roll my eyes and hand him the Sharpie marker. He takes it, smirks at me and then begins signing the bobble heads.

"The kids, all ready?" he asks me.

"The box is set up with the gift bags. We have your signed sweater, bobble head and a signed Pens puck in each one. The Pens also gave them each stuffed Icebergs and a Pens' Terrible Towel. The parents all know where and when to meet me so that I can take them to the box and it will be ready for food and drinks for them. I've asked the staff to check between every period to make sure that they're ok."

"You think of everything" he tells me and pats my arm. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome Geno."

He pats my arm again, awkwardly, and then stands.

"Ok, we good?"

"Yes, that's all I need Geno."

He leaves the room and I pack up the signed bobble heads into the box. Thankfully, no one has noticed me so I slip out of the room and down the hall. The overflow office is empty and the sofa immediately beckons me to get comfortable. In thirty seconds I've put the box on the desk, put the occupied sign on the door and slipped my shoes off. The sofa is as comfortable as it looks. I think I actually sigh as I snuggle in.

I begin to drift off and then I hear a soft knock on the door. Or did I just imagine it? Nothing happens so I close my eyes again. I know I hear the next three soft knocks and the door opens and the bright hall lights flood inside the room.

"Anna, it's me, Sid" I hear and see the outline of Sid's body when I look across the room.

I sit up quickly and smooth my skirt and hair. Sid closes the door as I hunt around for my shoes. Where the hell are they?

"I hope you don't mind that I followed you down here. I didn't catch you before you left the lounge and I wanted to talk to you."

My eyes become adjusted to the dark again and I can see Sid's silhouette as he moves across the room and then sits on the sofa beside me. I give up on my shoes.

"I hope you don't mind" he says.

I realize that I've said nothing and reply "of course it's ok. Do you need something?"

Sid chuckles and says "nothing official. I just wanted to talk with you. Do you have a few minutes?"

"Um, sure" I know that I sound as confused as I feel.

"How are you?" he asks.

Ok, this is really weird. We're in a dark office, on a sofa, alone and he's asking me how I feel. Is this sleep deprivation? Am I imaging what's happening right now?

"Um, I'm ok" I tell him.

"Are you sure? It's not like you to look tired or come down here to use the nap room, right?"

"I look tired?"

"I don't mean that you don't look good. I mean, you look good, it's just that you look tired too. Shit. Ok, I'm going to leave and come back in so we can ignore that the last minute never happened ok?"

Sid stands so I reach out and take his arm. He sits back down on the sofa, closer to me this time.

"To be honest, I am tired. A quick nap will fix that" I tell him.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. Didn't sleep well last night" I tell him and then realize that I spoke with him before I went to bed. Is he going to know that he's the reason I couldn't sleep?

"I had trouble falling asleep too" he says in a low, deep voice. I feel a shiver race through my body. "When I finally did, I had really great dreams."

There is that shiver again and then again when Sid slides his hand so that he's holding mine. His thumb brushes across my knuckles and I feel him shift on the sofa next to me so that we're almost facing each other. His free hand slides up my arm, slowly, from my wrist, over my elbow, to my shoulder and then he cups my cheek.

I'm unable to resist as he pulls my face close to his. I can feel his breath and smell peppermint like toothpaste. His thumb slides across my cheek. He doesn't move any closer. Is he waiting for me? I can say no. This is the time to make everything right again and just say no. There's no one around and we're face to face. I should stand up, turn on the lights and tell Sid that I'm not interested in anything with him. Clearly telling him that my job is in on the line doesn't matter to him. That's weird. Why doesn't he care that I could lose my job?

"I can hear your mind whirling Anna. What's going on?"

He moves back but only an inch. I can still feel his breath on my lips and the heat of his body so close that it's warming mine.

"Sid, I could lose my job."

"You won't."

"I signed a contract."

"You won't lose your job."

"Sid, seriously, it's in the contract."

"Two things" he begins and his thumb brushes my bottom lip this time. "One, no one is going to find out. Everyone knows not to ask about my personal life, except for the guys I'm close with, so we can be careful. If by some miraculous twist of fate someone does find out then I'll take care of it."

"What?"

"I never do this, use who I am to the franchise, but I would for you. Mario would take care of it."

"Oh Sid, are you listening to yourself? Sneaking around and using your name to get favours. For what?"

"For this" he whispers.

His lips softly slide over mine. It takes me less than two seconds to respond. I wrap my fingers around his wrist, telling myself that I'm going to push him away, but instead I hang on tight.

I give in to the heat coursing through me and return Sid's kiss with ardour. I feast my hands in his hair which is still damp from his after-practice shower. Sid's hand slides to the back of my neck and then into my hair where he quickly pulls out all of the carefully placed pins that were keeping it up. He runs his hand through my hair and the feel of his fingers against my scalp almost have me purring.

His lips move from mine, over my cheek and then take my earlobe. His lips suck and his tongue laves. I feel it directly between my legs when he sinks his teeth into the tender flesh. My body is like a musical instrument and he knows how to get every note out of it.

"Anna" he sighs as he pulls back.

I can only make out the outline of his features in the mostly dark room. I slide my hands to cradle his face.

"Yes" I whisper.

I can feel his smile against my hands.

"I like saying your name" he whispers and leans in to lightly kiss my lips.

"Ok" is all I can manage back.

"Ok?"

"Yeah, ok" I reply.

Sid chuckles but he can't say anything because I've captured his lips now. They are plump, warm and wet from my own. I act strictly on instinct and take his bottom lip between my teeth and lightly bite. Sid groans and I feel his fingers tighten at my waist and in my hair. It feels so good that I do it again.

Sid turns more towards me and then pushes me back against the sofa. I lean back until I'm lying flat and Sid is half on top of me and half beside me on the sofa. I can feel his hard body against my own and tremble, actually tremble with need. All of the memories of that night, that one night, come rushing back.

I grab onto his shoulders then slide my hands over his back. Sid's hand starts at my knee, slides up my thigh and disappears under my skirt. My body acts on its own and my hips tilt up seeking. Sid groans so I push up against him again. That elicits another groan and his lips hungrily take mine. I try to keep up with the sensations but my body is on fire in so many places that I can barely keep up.

His hand pulls my skirt up so that Sid can fully rest his body over mine and between my legs. He rocks his hips against mine and I push up against to meet him. We continue kissing and grinding trying to touch each other everywhere.

My brain tells me that this is getting quickly out of hand. It's like cold water flows through my veins. Sliding my hand over Sid's shoulder and to his chest, I push him back slightly. Sid immediately stops and drops his forehead against mine.

"Wow" he says.

I giggle, I don't know why, and reply "yeah, wow."

"I really did just come in here to talk to you. It's hard to get you alone around here and I'm serious about keeping this away from everyone. You will not lose your job."

He says it so emphatically that I almost believe him.

"If I was a better guy, I would leave you alone but I'm just not. There is this, I don't know, pull. Don't you feel it?"

"Yes" I can't lie to him.

His body is lying on mine, I feel his erection against my centre and every place that his body is touching mine, warming it.

"Please say that we can see where this goes Anna. We can keep it away from everyone, no one will know, I promise. Just say that you want to try this too."

My brain says it's not a good idea, in fact disastrous is the word my brain says over and over again. I often wonder how people can say that their body over rides their head and I've always thought it was crap; not anymore.

"Yes" I tell him.

Sid leans down again and kisses my lips. Neither of us can break away so we have more of a make out session until we're both breathless.

"Ok, I really have to get home and you need to nap here" Sid tells me.

He slides off my body and stands beside the sofa. I sit up and push my skirt down. My shirt is partially pulled out of my skirt so I just pull it all the way out and stand next to him.

He cups my cheeks and says "I really did come to talk with you."

I giggle like I'm a twelve year old girl. Sid smiles and kisses me quickly but thoroughly.

"Can I call you tonight after the game?" he asks.

"Yes" I manage.

Good thing we didn't talk because all I've been able to manage is one word responses.

"Yes" he replies, gives me one more kiss and then leaves.

I fall back onto the sofa after the door closes and Sid's gone. I'm in so much trouble.

Sidney

We won the game but I almost don't care, almost because I always care about winning, but now I'm more interested in getting into the house so that I can call Anna. I wonder if she'll be home now or if she had more to do at Consol since it was Geno's bobble head night. Maybe I'll text her first. Or should I just call because I said I'd call? No, I'll text.

'Are you home?' I send.

A few moments later, she sends back 'just leaving Consol now. 10 mins?'

'Ok, talk soon'

I catch my reflection in the hall mirror as I walk into my house and a huge grin is returned back to me. I can call her in ten minutes. Wanting to be on time, I quickly change from my suit into a tee shirt and shorts and put the TV on to catch up on some scores. It's never too early to start watching the standings and the Pirates won tonight so I want to check up on their competition too.

The time passes slowly, very slowly, and I miss most of the scores as I watch my phone. When there is only one minute left, I get even more excited to talk to Anna. She said that she'll give us a chance. It's only for the season anyway. We can hide things for one season. Except for the year we won the Cup, I've kept my personal life out of the public. If anyone is good at hiding a relationship, it's me.

When the clock clicks one more minute, I'm hitting 'dial' for Anna's number.

"Hi" she answers and sounds out of breath. Fuck, she sounds good.

"Hi" I reply. "Is this still a good time?"

"Yeah, but can you wait one minute? Just hang on, ok?"

"Sure" I tell her.

It sounds like she puts the phone down and then I hear rustling. What is she doing?

"Shit" I hear her shout.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

Of course she doesn't hear me. I don't have to wait too long for her to come back on the line.

"Sorry about that Sid. I almost managed to get changed before you called so I just needed to finish."

I begin to wonder what she's wearing but I give my head a shake. I called her to talk not have phone sex.

"Everything ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, I just put a hole in my stockings as I took them off."

Now I really wonder what she's wearing. She doesn't give me too much time to imagine though.

"That was a great game. Two points for you" she says and I focus back on talking with her.

"Yeah, we played well. We almost lost it in the third but we ran out the clock before they could put another one up."

"You know, I actually know what that means now" she tells me and chuckles.

"You're picking it up quickly. That's awesome."

"Yeah, I still get confused about icing but I'm picking most things up."

I don't want to talk about hockey. I want to learn more about Anna.

"I keep meaning to ask you about what you're going to do with your master's degree?"

"You mean after I get it?"

"Yeah, are you going to work in PR.?"

She's quiet, too quiet, and I wonder if I've said something wrong.

"I actually don't know what I'll do. I may even need to defer my graduate work for a few years."

Her voice has changed from sounding fun and light to small and disappointed. Something is definitely wrong.

"What's going on Anna? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all Sid. It's just that it's not necessarily up to me if I can go directly to graduate school."

Confused, I ask "if not you, then who would decide?"

"Um, well, if my dad is in election mode then I'll have a campaign schedule. When he ran for governor, it was too busy to do anything else. I can only imagine if he runs for" she stops there.

Ah, if he runs for president.

"Has he decided to run for president?" I ask.

"He has an exploratory committee looking at the possibilities but has made no decision yet."

I recognize that tone of voice. I use that tone of voice often.

"Do you think that there will ever be a time when you can drop the 'company-line' with me?" I ask softly.

She's silent and it's so quiet that I can hear her breathing.

"I'm sorry Sid. It's so ingrained in me to answer those kinds of questions 'on message' as they call it. Do you know that I receive a weekly email from my mother that updates me on the key messages of the week? She wants to make sure that if anyone asks then I'm ready with the right kind of answer."

"Wow" I say before I can do more than just react. "You get it weekly?"

"Yep and there was even a conference call before we went to Washington."

Now I'm confused. "Why did you have to go on a conference call?"

"My father's staff heard that we were going to be in Washington for a game so they set up a tour for me to give key supporters in Congress. Mom wanted to make sure that I knew what to say and what messages they wanted to make sure that I shared. They also told me information about each Congressman so that I knew about their families, key issues in their district and any recent accomplishments."

Holy shit. I've never been prepared like that in my life. She had to go through that just to give a thirty minute tour.

"Wow, that's a lot to prepare. Hmm, that's not even your real job" I reply.

She laughs and I'm stunned because it doesn't even sound like her. Her laugh sounds hallow and bitter.

"Governor's daughter is always my first job Sid."

"Well your first job sucks."

She laughs again but it's genuine like the stress balloon has just been popped.

"Yeah Sid, it sometimes does."

We definitely need a change of topic.

"Tell me about your first boyfriend" I say.

"That's a left turn in the conversation."

"And that's not an answer" I tell her.

"Ok, I was sixteen before I was allowed to date. There was a select group of families that my sister and I were allowed to choose from for dating. My first boyfriend was from a prominent southern family, as my mother would say, and very suitable for dating."

"Seriously?" I can't help the question or incredulity in my voice. "You had your boyfriends chosen for you?"

"My mother would say no but it's just a technicality. I could choose from the list my mother created."

I'm still trying to process this and I don't get it.

"Is this because your dad is governor?"

"Oh, no. Dad wasn't governor then. Mom is from Georgia and a proper southern lady. She would say that she has raised proper southern ladies too."

"And what would your proper-southern-lady-mother say about our, um, time together this afternoon?" I can't help myself from asking.

"Oh, she would have to fan herself to prevent fainting."

I'm thankful that she's joking too and the mood lightens.

"We'll keep it to ourselves then. I wouldn't want to be responsible for a downturn in your mother's health" I tell her. "Now, tell me about that first boyfriend."

"Fine, his name was Tad."

"No shit. There are actually guys named Tad?"

"Yes, it is a family nick name. He is Charles Theodore Winston III. Since his grandfather was called Charles and his father was called Teddy, from the middle name, he became Tad."

"Ok then, Tad it is. Tell me about Tad."

"Tad was really sweet actually but there was so much pressure on him as the first born son. His mother is related to one of the Kennedy's although the joke was that the family didn't hold that against her."

"What do you mean they didn't hold it against her?"

"It's a southern thing Sid. The Kennedy family is from Massachusetts and that makes her a northern."

"A northern, seriously? Is this North and South or Gone with the Wind?"

"You would be surprised how much it's still like that in some of the families in the south."

"What did your mother's family think of her marrying a northern?"

"My father always had political aspirations and my mother saw that right away. She knew him well enough that he was going to get there, wherever there was, and she was going with him. She was made to be a politician's wife."

"That sounds kind of sad" I say softly.

"It's what she wanted, so she got it."

Anna doesn't sound angry or even disappointed. She sounds, well, sad, so much for this change of topic. It hasn't quite turned out the way I hoped but I have learned a lot about her.

"What about your first girlfriend?" Anna asks.

"It was the year I went to Shattucks. I was fifteen. Her name was Tanya and she was in my French class."

"Did she like hockey?"

"She liked it but she was there to play baseball."

"Ah, your second favourite sport" Anna says.

"How did you know that?" I ask her.

"You talk about it enough. You also told me about it when we were trapped in that elevator. You played baseball at Shattucks too, right?"

I'm surprised and touched that she remembers that conversation so well.

"Yeah, I did. I played it when I was in Cole Harbour too."

"So Tanya. Tell me more about her. She was athletic. Blond?"

How does she know that?

"Yeah she was. How did you know that?"

She's silent for a moment and then one moment turns in a few before she answers.

"Well, Sid, you kind of have a type. Or at least that's what the girls in the office say."

I don't know what surprises me more; that they think I have a type or that they're talking about it.

"What girls were talking about me?" I say it a little more forceful than I intended.

"I'm sorry Sid, I never should have said anything."

"No, it's ok. I'm just surprised."

"Ok. It can't be a surprise to you that girls talk about you."

I think about it and, yeah, it does surprise me.

"Why would they talk about girlfriends I've had?"

"You really don't know why?" she sounds surprised now.

"No, absolutely no idea" I tell her.

"Sid, you have to know that you're attractive and the female staff notice, often."

I know that I'm not ugly and as an athlete, I know that I have a good body, but they really talk about me.

"I'm still surprised. They said that I have a type?"

"Yep. Although, to be honest, they say that you've only been photographed with two girls, both blonds with athletic bodies."

I take a quick look back in my mind and, shit, whoever 'they' are, they're right. I do have a type. Until Anna.

"Ok, so, yes she was blond" I stay to pull the topic back on track. "Anyway, I left Shattucks, she stayed and that was it. Why did you and Tad break up?"

Anna sighs and says "I guess, after we really got to know each other, we discovered that we had nothing in common. GOP."

"GOP?"

"Good on paper."

"Ah. I guess all of your boyfriends were the good on paper types right?"

"There haven't been that many Sid! But, yeah, you're right."

"So what are you doing with me?"

"Are you saying that you want to be my boyfriend Sid?"

Shit, is that what I'm saying? Is this too much and too soon? I have a feeling that this girl, more than any other I've ever met, has the potential to completely break me; heart and soul.

"If I was saying that, what would you say?" I ask.

"You'll have to say that to hear my answer Sid."

I chuckle. Sassy Anna is back and I love sassy Anna.

"Ok, I'll keep that in mind" I tell her.

I hear her yawn and know that we should both get some sleep; but, I want to keep talking with her. I'm enjoying this conversation too much to hang up.

"Tell me about your sister?" I ask her

"Well, she's just like my mom. She's tall, thin and is very much a southern woman. She always does the right thing at the absolutely right time and will probably marry for all the right reasons."

I'm surprised that the words aren't delivered with malice or dislike; although, there is a lack of emotion that worries me more. I've discovered that Anna loses all emotion in her voice and expression when she hurts the most or if something cuts too close to what she's trying to hide.

"Do you like your sister?" I ask.

"She's my sister, I love her."

"I know you love her but do you like her?"

"No one has ever asked me that before" Anna says. "I don't think I know her well enough to like or dislike her. I guess that itself is sad, huh?"

This late night phone call seems to be demanding honesty from both of us so I have to agree.

"Yeah, it is kinda sad."

"What about your sister? Tell me about her" Anna asks.

"Taylor is awesome" I tell her. "She started playing hockey much later than others but she's been so good. Currently, she's playing on her college team and her dream is to win an Olympic gold medal."

"An admirable goal" she says. "How does she handle being compared to her big brother?"

"Thankfully she isn't compared to me too often. I usually come up in conversations she has about hockey but there's no pro league for women. That's a disappointment but it saves her from comparisons. She also plays goalie and that helps preventing comparisons."

"You're proud of her" she says.

"Yeah, I am."

"And protective I bet."

"Yeah, definitely."

We're both quiet but it's a comfortable silence. I hear rustling.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I'm getting into bed. I'm cold."

Immediately I envision her in one of my Pen's shirts with miles and miles of bare leg. Of course I would be beside her, holding up the covers so that she can slide in beside me.

"Sid?"

"Sorry, my mind wandered" I tell her.

"I don't want to hang up but I really have to get some sleep. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Oh yeah, why is that?" I ask her.

"I refuse to answer because I could incriminate myself."

We both chuckle this time and my heart warms at the thought that thinking about me might have kept her awake last night.

"Ok, I'll let that one go tonight" I tell her. "I should get some sleep too."

Anna sighs into the phone and says "ok, good night Sidney."

"Good night Anna."

We both disconnect and I flop back onto the bed. If my goal was to get to know her more, than the goal was achieved, it's giving me a better picture of who Anna is and it just urges me to want more. I'll have to figure out how to continue this exploration of all things Anna.


	13. Chapter 13

Anna

"Who is he?"

I look at Adam confused by his question.

"Who is who?" I ask.

"Who is the guy? You've been walking around with a huge smile on your face all day. That's an 'I just had great sex' smile. Give."

I pray that my embarrassment doesn't show on my face.

"There is no guy Adam. I'm in a good mood, that's it."

"No, that is absolutely not it Miss Anna. Maybe you didn't have sex but there is certainly a guy involved."

I want to tell him that he's right. There is a guy and he's great. I have huge smile on my face because, despite what my head still tells me, I've given into the feelings I have for Sidney. So far we've only had late night phone calls the last two nights but I'm definitely riding high on them.

"Adam, there is no guy. I'm happy because everything has gone smoothly with Geno's bobble head giveaway and we've made the most money ever for the foundation on the online auction."

"Yeah" he says and frowns. "I don't buy it but I'll let it go. For now."

I shake my head at him and we go downstairs. Adam has been given a project with Kris Letang for heart disease awareness. Kris has supported this cause since he had his own heart problems. I'm going downstairs to meet with Geno. He asked if we could talk after he worked out and showered.

Adam and I part at the locker room door. I see Sid standing at the doorway with Pascal so I say hi to them both and then continue onto the lounge. I find Geno waiting for me which is odd. He's never on time for anything except practices and games.

"Hi Geno" I greet him.

"Anna, we meet in office" he tells me and walks towards the trainer's office.

It's empty and I follow Geno inside then he shuts the door. I can't help the feeling of apprehension that runs through me. Geno is behaving really weird and unlike him. I may not have known him very long but I do know him well. I decide to stay quiet and sit in one of the chairs to wait for Geno to speak. He paces the room a few times before turning back to me.

"I need help" he says.

"What can I do Geno?" I reply when he doesn't continue.

"Pens Foundation wants me to sponsor zoo. I want mine to be for kids."

Oh, his foundation is working with the Pens' foundation on an activity like Geno and I discussed at the beginning of the year. Jen said that she was going to work on this so she must have set something up. So why is Geno talking to me?

"Isn't Jen helping you with this work?" I ask.

Geno sighs and rubs the back of his neck, which is a gesture he does when he is frustrated because he can't find the right words in English.

"She is but it's not what I want" he finally says.

"They've set something up to work but it's at the zoo. You don't want that?"

"Yeah" he says.

I think he means that yeah, he doesn't want that, so I confirm and I'm right.

"Have you spoken to Jen about it?" I ask.

"She doesn't understand. It don't make sense to her" he replies.

Well this is certainly a bad position for me to be in. Geno doesn't like something my boss is doing and he's asking me for help. This will be tricky.

"We had those children here at the game a couple of nights ago" I remind him. "You are doing work with kids."

"I did that before. Want more now."

Shit.

"What can I do to help, Geno?"

I'm concerned that he's going to ask me to talk to Jen but I have to ask him how I can help. This is my job; to help Geno with press, the public, everything he needs.

"Want you involved in foundation."

Oh, it's even worse. He wants me to completely replace Jen on this work. How the hell am I going to do that without pissing her off?

"Ok Geno, I can help out."

"No help" he says. "You do it."

He may have trouble with English occasionally but he is very smart. There's no getting around him.

"Ok, give me a couple of days please. I'll figure something out."

He smiles, for the first time since we left the lounge, and pats my arm. He leaves the office but I stay sitting and place my head in my hands. This is a horrible position to be in. Jen is great, but you don't tell your boss that the 'client' prefers you, no matter how great she is.

"It can't be that bad" I hear and look up. "Geno was smiling as he left."

Sid is leaning against the door jamb with his hands in his jeans. His long sleeve tee shirt stretches across his chest and shows the muscle definition there. I'm momentarily distracted.

"It's not bad" I finally tell him. "It's tricky."

He smiles and asks "want to talk about it?"

I do, I really do, but we need to be careful about how much we interact when we're around the team.

"I can call you later" he says.

He must be thinking the same thing that I am. He did promise me that he would make sure that I didn't lose my job.

"Yeah" I tell him and smile. "I'd like that."

He smiles back and looks like he wants to say more but only nods and walks back down the hallway. I can't wait for later.

Sidney

"Hi" Anna says when she answers the phone.

"Hi" I reply. "Do you have time to talk?"

"Yeah, one sec" she says and I can hear the phone against a hard surface. She must have set it down. A few moments later, she's back.

"Sorry about that. I was just getting changed" she tells me.

"Did you just get home?" I ask her.

"About ten minutes ago, yes."

"That's a really long day" I tell her.

"Actually it wasn't. Game days are really long. We have much shorter days when there is no travel or games" she tells me.

I never thought about how long her days are. We get to the rink after them and they leave long after we do after the game. At least we get to go home for an afternoon nap. That gives me an idea.

"Have you eaten dinner?" I ask her.

"Actually no. I don't think I've eaten since this morning" she tells me and chuckles.

"I haven't had dinner either. Want to eat together? I can bring something over to your place?" She doesn't answer me directly so I quickly add "I would take you out but we can't so I thought of this. You could come to my house if that's better."

I wait for only five or ten seconds but it feels like hours. Finally she answers me.

"You've had a long day too Sid. I don't want to put you out."

It doesn't sound like a 'no' so I press on.

"It won't. To be honest, I can't cook so I'll be picking something up anyway. No work. Ok?"

She makes me wait again before saying "sounds great Sid. I'll text you my address."

We say goodbye and I run up to my bedroom. I'm in shorts and a tee shirt. I stare at my closet and wonder what to wear. I want to look casual but I want to look good too. Five minutes go by so I finally pull out jeans and a blue button down shirt. This will have to do. I still need to pick up dinner.

Once I'm in my car, I call Whole Foods and order roasted chicken, vegetables and sweet potato. I order brownies too. Girls like brownies, right? Shit. I should have asked Anna what she likes to eat. Everyone likes chicken, right? Shit.

It's too late to fix it so I continue to the store. They have my order ready but I'm still noticed and have to take a few pictures with fans. Thankfully it doesn't take long until I'm on my way to Anna's apartment.

I recognize the neighbourhood she lives in as a very expensive area where some of the young guys on the team live. I guess I should have known that her parents would buy her a condo while she's employed here. She wouldn't live with roommates like many of the other interns.

When I enter the lobby of her building, I'm surprised by the amount of security it has. I had to be buzzed into the building by security and only after they checked a 'list' to see if I was on it. Once inside, one of the security guards, and there are two, calls up to Anna to tell her that 'her guest' has arrived. Anna must confirm that I am here to visit her because I'm allowed through to the elevator.

Even the elevator screams 'expensive'. There is thick carpet, etched glass walls and classical music playing. I've been around expensive stuff over the past ten years but this still surprises me. I forget that Anna comes from money.

I knock on her door and she quickly answers it. I'm unable to say anything because she looks incredibly beautiful. Her hair is in a messy bun on her head, she's wearing an oversize Shattuck's sweatshirt and leggings. Her feet are bare. She's gorgeous.

"Do you want to come in Sid?"

I shake myself out of my revere and move through the doorway as she steps back. I want to kiss her, desperately, so I do but keep it light. I touch my lips to hers softly as I walk by.

After taking off my shoes, I ask "where is the kitchen?"

Anna smiles and points to my right. I follow her direction and find her kitchen. It looks like she does a lot of cooking or, at least, she has the equipment to be a chef.

"I hope you like chicken. Whole foods does a great roasted rosemary chicken" I tell her. "Oh, and I got some veggies and sweet potato. They're my favourites so I know that they are good. I hope that you like them. Do you like chicken? Oh and I got brownies for dessert. Do you like brownies? They're almost as good as the chicken."

I look up from the counter where I've been taking out the containers of food.

"What?" I ask when I notice Anna is smiling at me.

"Are you nervous Sid?" she asks me.

"Of course not" I reply and try to brazen it out.

"Really? You usually talk about chicken this much?"

She's clearly making fun of me and, she's right, I am nervous. Why am I nervous?

"Maybe you should answer my question. Do you like chicken?" I ask.

"Lucky for you that, yes, I like chicken" she winks and goes to a cupboard.

I watch as she pulls out plates and then cutlery. I follow her to the dining table with the food containers.

"Would you like some wine?" she asks me. "I have a great Chardonnay."

"Yeah, sounds good."

She goes back into the kitchen and I finishing opening the containers. Anna hands me a glass when she comes in and I taste the wine. I'm surprised at how good it is and that I recognize it as one of Mario's favourites.

"Mario loves this wine" I tell her.

"He must have discovered it through my father. It's his favourite too."

So far we have thoroughly discussed the food and the wine. Steller date so far. Come on, I'm usually better than this on dates.

We each sit down and fill up our plates. I watch as Anna samples everything on her plate.

"Ok" she says. "This is chicken worth talking about."

We both laugh and whatever awkwardness we felt is gone.

"Do you cook?" I ask her.

"I don't do it often but I do love to cook. I think it's because I grew up with chefs and have eaten out so much that I love to stay in and have a home cooked meal."

"I'm sorry that this isn't home cooked but, trust me, you don't want me to cook for you ever. I burn cereal."

"Sid, you aren't supposed to cook cereal."

"That's what I'm saying. See how hopeless I am."

She chuckles and says "next time, I'll cook us dinner."

"There's going to be a next time?" I ask.

"I hope so" she says and takes a sip of wine.

Her eyes stay on mine and suddenly the air crackles. I feel that connection, that pull which feels stronger than gravity.

"Earlier you said that you were in an awkward situation you were trying to figure out. Can I help?"

"Maybe you can."

Anna proceeds to tell me about her meeting with Geno and how he wants Anna to help with his foundation rather than Jen.

"So you need to talk to Jen?" I ask.

"Yeah. I'm really looking forward to doing that right away" she replies sarcastically.

"It wasn't right for Geno to ask you. It's like he's trying to make you responsible for what he should be doing himself."

I'm kind of pissed that Geno would put her in that position. That's not her job.

"Sid, that is my job. Essentially I'm there to help Geno with his public face and his foundation is part of his public face. It's just going to be tricky."

"Ok, so how will you do it?"

"I don't know but I need to do it soon and before the plans are made for that zoo thing."

"How about telling Jen that Geno has asked you to get more involved and see what she says. If she's ok with that then you don't have to go into any further details."

"That's brilliant" she tells me.

I know that I'm smiling but I can't stop it. I love that we're having a conversation like this at the end of the day. We're sitting together like any couple sharing our day over a meal. I've never had that before.

"Glad I can help" I tell her.

We finish dinner and clean up the dishes together.

"Would you like some more wine Sid?"

"Sure" I answer.

When our glasses are filled, we go to her living room and settle on the couch. From a remote, Anna turns on the fireplace and then the TV.

"Which game do you want on?" she asks.

"We don't have to put a game on" I tell her.

"It's ok. I know you want to keep your eye on the scores. A few people were talking about the Rangers' game tonight."

I should probably tell her to turn off the TV but she's right, I do want to keep an eye on that game. We play the Rangers in a few weeks and they are on a hot streak. It would be a great boost to our team if we could beat them and in the first game with them of the season too.

"If you don't mind" I tell her.

"Of course not" she replies and finds the game. "So how much does it matter how well a team is doing at the beginning of the year?"

"In some ways, the phrase 'it's how you end, not how you begin' is true; but, we're still playing for points that matter towards getting into the playoffs. Every win, even in October, gets you closer to the playoffs."

It's fascinating to watch her listen to me. She is clearly interested and I can almost see her mind working as she processes what I'm saying. It's been a long time since I've been with a woman who is genuinely interested in what I have to say.

"So why do you want to watch this game tonight?" she asks.

"We play the Rangers in a few weeks so this will help me see how they're playing. It's also a big game because the Rangers are playing the Capitals and they are both in our division."

"So you are measured directly against them for the playoffs, right?"

She's so smart. Already she knows more about the game than many and we're only a few games into her first season.

"That's right."

"It seems like you focus on hockey almost every minute of every day."

It's not the first time I've heard this from a girl. It's one of the reasons I rarely have a girlfriend during the season or, if I do, we don't see each other a lot. They usually get pretty pissed if I don't pay attention to them all the time.

"Yeah, I've heard that before" I tell her and wait for Anna to tell me that I need more balance in my life or some other crap I usually hear.

"I guess, when you only have so many years to play, that you want to give your life to it while you can. I've seen it first-hand now how much time, effort and work it takes to play this game at the highest level. If this is your dream and something you've worked toward your whole life then you want to make the most out of every moment."

Holy shit! She gets it. Anna barely knows the hockey world and me; but, she understands why I do it.

"You get it" I say softly.

"Of course I get it Sid. Life is short and there are only so many years that you can play this game. Why would you work this hard to achieve your dream and then not work hard to stay here? Besides that, you love it. During a game or practice, no matter how frustrated you may sometimes get, it's clear to see how much you love it."

Wow, she really does get it.

Anna

I'm puzzled by Sid's expression. He looks surprised and something else that I can't figure out. He shakes his head slowly then puts his wine glass on the coffee table. Next he takes my glass and puts it beside his.

My heartbeat picks up as I watch him. I know exactly what he's going to do and I've been hoping for it all evening. Not that I don't enjoy talking to him, I really do; but, there is always this electricity or spark between us and I really want to feel his lips on mine.

Sid slides his hand from my neck up to my cheek and then pulls my face closer to his. We are so close, just about to kiss, but neither of us closes our eyes. I watch as he moves the last little bit until he sips my lips. Softly, his lips move over mine and I watch his eyes darken. Desperately, I want more, much more, so I softly slide my tongue against the seam of his lips. They part but Sid pulls away.

His free hand moves over my waist and his hand at my cheek stays still. I'm unsure if he's going to pull away, stop or keep going. Sid shuts his eyes, his lips purse and then he roughly pulls me towards him. The fingers on my waist tighten and I encircle his neck with my own. With a quick move, I'm sitting on his lap astride him.

Both of his hands slide to my lower back and I feast mine in his hair. The pressure of his lips force mine open so that his tongue can sweep into my mouth. I moan as our tongues duel and Sid's hands pull me further toward him. My centre grinds against him and I absorb Sid's groan with my lips. His hands slide under my sweat shirt and I gasp when they make contact with my bare skin. My head falls back and Sid takes advantage to kiss, lick and nip at my neck and the skin exposed at my clavicle. As I lean back further to give him more access, I grind down against him again and again. The friction both gives me relief and creates even more need. I feel his errection begin to push against me.

Sid's fingers brush over my bra and then they pause as if asking permission. To answer, I push my hips more fully against him and he groans while his fingers make quick work of my bra clasp. Now that it's undone, Sid slides his hands over my sides and slips his thumbs inside my bra. As each brushes against a nipple, I cry out as I feel it deep, deep inside. I've never felt this wanton, this needy and I've definitely never acted this way. I've definitely only felt close to this way one other time. It was with Sid at that party.

His lips take mine again and his thumbs alternate between flicking and rubbing at my nipples. I continue to rock against Sid and his hips begin to move until we find our rhythm. My fingers dig into his shoulder muscles and I revel at his strength. I have a flash back to the feeling of his strong, naked body covering mine.

That memory serves as a bucket of cold water to my libido. What am I doing? How did I let this happen? Am I destined to throw myself at this man over and over? I know that I want to try and make this work but I also feel like I'm powerless and spiraling out of control.

I push away from Sid and his hands drop immediately to my hips. We're both breathing heavily and Sid's lips are plump and wet from mine. I almost give in again. Almost.

"Are you ok?" Sid asks me.

I slide off of his lap and back onto the sofa beside him.

"Yeah" I say softly.

I don't know what else to say.

"We seem to get easily carried away together, don't we?" Sid says.

I look at him and he has a hesitant but small smile on his lips. Oh, those lips.

"Yeah, I guess we do" I reply softly.

"This, um, this isn't why I came over. I want to make sure that you know that Anna."

"Yeah, I do."

I reach around to do up my bra but my hands are shaking so I give up and take it off through the arm of my sweatshirt.

Sid chuckles and says "I've always wondered how girls do that?"

"Do what?" I ask.

"Take off your bra without taking off your shirt. You're like a magician."

"Oh, ok" I answer.

We both stare at each other awkwardly but then Sid lets go a snort that turns into a laugh. I follow him and soon we're both laughing and leaning back against the sofa. We're side by side and slowly stop laughing. The initial unease of the moment is gone and a comfortable silence settles over us. The only sound is the hockey game on the TV.

"There's something that I've wanted to talk to you about but haven't known how to bring it up" Sid say.

"Ok."

"Anna, I know that we're just getting to know each other and there is still a lot more to find out."

He stops there so I say "go on."

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I hate that the last time we were, well, together, I don't remember it. But, Anna, it really doesn't seem like you to have sex with a stranger."

I have to take a beat before I can speak.

"You weren't a stranger" I tell him. "I'd heard of you of course. And Lauren had spoken of you."

"Ok, you knew who I was but you know what I'm saying Anna. It really seems unlike you. I don't mean that you aren't, or that you are, or" he pauses. "Shit. I'm making a mess of this aren't I? Maybe we should just forget I even brought this up."

How do I answer him? How much of the truth do I tell him? I'm still processing everything myself. Maybe I should just forget he asked and change the subject. Or maybe I should answer him.

"Sid, you're right. I've never, I mean, I'd never" I can't continue.

"You were a virgin?" he asks and I can hear the incredulity in his voice.

"No" I reply. "No, I wasn't a virgin but I was pretty close to it. Anyway, a couple of days before the party, I found out that my boyfriend was only with me because he wanted a future in politics. He thought that mine was the perfect family to marry into and that my father would help him. That's the only reason he was with me."

Sid is silent for a few moments. He takes my hand in his and absently runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"That sucks" he says softly.

"Yeah. It's not the first time that it's happened although it's never happened with a boyfriend before. Of course he was only my second boyfriend so I don't have a lot to compare it to."

"You've only had two boyfriends?" he asks.

Sid sounds surprised but it doesn't seem like he's making fun of me or laughing at me. He seems simply surprised.

"You're smart and funny. Caring and sweet. Absolutely gorgeous. How could you have only had two boyfriends?"

He is incredibly sweet and kind.

"It is very sweet of you to say Sid but I know who I am, what I am, so it makes sense that I don't have a lot of experience with guys." Before Sid can say anything more, I continue on. "Anyway, that night I was trying to forget and you were sweet and funny. I don't know if you're aware of this Mr. Crosby but you're also hot as hell. So I decided to sleep with you. I wasn't drunk or anything, I simply wanted to forget. I was surprised that you spent so much time talking to me and then I was stunned when you kissed me."

I want to look at Sid but I don't have the nerve to do it. I've debated about how I would answer him when he inevitably asked me the question about that night. Right now I'm grateful that I decided what I would tell him so I didn't just pour out everything on my mind, in my soul.

Sid pulls me close to him and wraps his arm around me. I can smell his cologne and the soap he uses. I can feel his warmth and the hard muscles of his body against mine. He keeps my hand in his and continues to caress it. I find the motion and his touch soothing.

"Why do you say that about yourself Anna? Why do you deny how great you are? Believe me, ok?" I don't reply so he repeats "ok?"

"Sid" I begin but he cuts me off.

"Anna, stop. You are smart, funny, caring, sweet and gorgeous. Have you ever heard the expression 'fake it 'till you make it'?"

"Yeah."

"So, you just need to trust and believe me until you believe it, ok?" he asks.

He sounds so incredibly earnest that I don't have the heart to disagree with him.

"Ok" I tell him.

Ah, if only it was that easy.

"This is nice" Sid says. "I like spending time with you. We need to figure out how to do more of this."

"It is" I reply. "Thank you for bringing dinner."

"You're welcome."

I lean my head against his shoulder and sigh pushing everything else out of my mind. Nothing else matters except this moment because I know it can't last.


	14. Chapter 14

Anna

I'm aware of two things as I wake. First, there is a blinding light that I can see through my closed eyes. I'm also aware of how warm I am. The heat is radiating from behind me which makes me aware of something else. I'm lying on my sofa being spooned by Sid.

Squinting against the light, I open my eyes and take in my surroundings. We're still at my apartment. The TV is turned off so one of us must have done that during the night. I remember Sid and me lying down on the sofa together while watching the game. I was doing a lot of yawning so Sid pulled me down with him. His strong arm is still holding me close and I can feel his breath fluttering against my hair and ear. I can't suppress the shiver that runs up and down my spine.

So, I've spent a second night with Sidney Crosby. Actually, we didn't spend the night together the first time. Sid passed out and I left. Also, this second time is different because last night we didn't have sex. I've always wondered what it would be like to sleep in Sid's arms. Now I know and I close my eyes to savour the feeling.

"I can actually hear your brain" Sid whispers against my ear.

"You can't hear someone think" I reply.

"Yes you can. It woke me up."

"Well your snoring work me up" I tell him.

"Shit, really. Sorry about that" he sounds so contrite.

"I'm kidding Sid" I reply and snuggle into his arms. That's when it hits me. "Shit! What time is it? I have to go to work!"

I try to stand up but Sid holds me to him.

"It's a day off, remember" he tells me.

Oh, right. It is our day off. When the guys have the day off then we are allowed to take it off too. We all came into the internship knowing that it wasn't a regular-hours kind of job but it's nice to have some down time.

I hear Sid's stomach rumble and I laugh.

"I'd guess it's nine" Sid tells me. "Time for breakfast."

Sid lets me turn so that I'm facing him. I rub my nose against his, very conscious of my morning breath, and then lay my cheek on his chest before I speak.

"I don't have too much in my fridge but I can make us omelettes" I tell him.

"Delicious" he replies and kisses my temple.

I need to take care of some business and definitely brush my teeth so I pull away from Sid and stand.

"I'll be back in a minute" I tell him and go to my bathroom.

Quickly I take care of everything and then do some repair of my make-up. After brushing my hair out, I put it up in a ponytail. Messy-bun hair slept on all night is not attractive. I look through my cabinets and find a new tooth brush and take that with some tooth paste to my guest bathroom. I also leave a wash cloth and towel out for Sid.

When I'm back in the living room, I see Sid on the sofa going through his phone. He smiles when he sees me.

"I found an extra tooth brush and put it with some towels in the bathroom down the hall. If you want to shower, there is soap and shampoo in the shower."

Sid stands and says "thanks."

"Um, I think I have some cheese and spinach for the omelettes. Is that ok? Do you want coffee?"

"Yes to the cheese and spinach. No thank you to the coffee."

"Orange juice?" I ask.

"That would be great, thanks."

He smiles again and then goes down the hall towards the guest bath.

Sid may not want coffee but I am desperate for it if I'm going to be pleasant over breakfast. After I've brewed myself a cup, I take out all of the ingredients from the fridge, put some bread in the toaster and start assembling the omelettes.

I'm at the stove cooking when Sid comes back. He stands beside me, tilts my face and then kisses me. It's brief but thorough.

"Good morning" he tells me.

"Good morning."

He must remember where I keep everything because he walks directly to the cupboards for glasses, dishes and cutlery. He puts the plates on the counter and takes everything else to the dining room. I love how he just helps out. He doesn't ask me or wait for me to do everything. My mother would say that 'his momma raised him right.' Of course she would also be disappointed that I'm letting him do it and not just taking care of 'my man.'

Hmm, my man. Is that what Sid is? Is he mine? I never thought that was ever going to be possible so I never let my mind wander there; but, maybe I've been wrong. Maybe we can make this work. Or am I just dreaming?

"I can hear your brain again" Sid tells me.

"Sorry" I reply.

"What are you sorry about?"

"I'm ignoring you" I tell him.

"Hardly" he chuckles. "Is this a southern thing?"

"Maybe" I tell him.

"Ok, well, let me tell you that I don't need you to cater to me. Although you do want to cook since I can't, trust me, but I can help with everything else."

"Can you toast bread?" I ask.

"Like a champ" he winks and walks over to the bread.

I fold over the omelettes to finish them off. They are ready as Sid finishes the toast and we're ready for breakfast.

"This is good" Sid tells me as he digs into his food.

I also put together some berries and yogurt. When Sid is finished his omelette, he digs into the berries too. I've seen how much these guys eat and I'm still amazed.

"What?" Sid asks when he notices that I'm staring.

"Do you want anything else?" I ask him.

"No, this is great." I chuckle so he asks "What?"

"I've been around you guys a while now and I'm still always impressed with how much you can eat."

He gives me a lopsided grin and shrugs.

"Growing boy" he says.

"I'm sorry that I don't have any of that protein powder stuff you guys all drink."

"Unless you planned this, I'm not surprised that you don't have any. It's ok. I'll drink it later." He pauses a few moments and then asks "speaking of later, what have you planned today?"

"Um, laundry, cleaning the house. All the stuff I can't seem to find time for when I'm working. Why? What do you have planned?"

"We can't really go out unfortunately" he begins and genuinely looks disappointed. "Would you like to come to my place? I have a full gym so you can use the treadmill if you'd like. I need to work out. Then we could watch movies. I have a nice room set up for it."

I'm finding it hard to breathe. Sid is asking me to spend the day with him and at his home. The piles of laundry and thick coat of dust on the curio cabinet beckon me to say no; but, I'm only human and can't pass up time with Sid. It's the most precious thing he has and he wants to spend it with me.

"That sounds good" I tell him and he grins.

Sidney

I woke up twice during the night and marveled at how right Anna felt in my arms. Her warm and soft curves pressing against my body made it hard for me to fall back asleep. Of course it would have been much more comfortable if we'd been in her bed but I didn't want to wake her up. I was afraid that she would kick me out or expect me to leave if she woke up. Of course I didn't completely think through staying the night with Anna. Sleeping on the sofa has given me a knot in my shoulder blade that I'm still having trouble working out.

I glance over at Anna who is currently running on the treadmill in my gym. She notices me looking at her and smiles. It's a shy and happy smile. Unfortunately the effect of that smile causes me to lose focus and I trip as I jump up onto the bench. My toe catches on the edge and I fall onto the mat. At the last minute I catch myself and roll but that pulls my shoulder and tightens the knot even further.

"Oh God, Sid" Anna yells and jumps off the treadmill. She's beside me in a moment. "Are you ok?"

I roll onto my back and take stock of my body: legs, ankles, back, all is fine. It's just that damn shoulder that's killing me. I reach around and try to work out the knot with my fingers. I can't quite get enough pressure to make a difference. Shit, I really don't want to call one of the trainers on their day off but this is just going to get worse if I don't work it out and we play tomorrow.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Anna asks.

"No, I'm good" I tell her.

She tilts her head and frowns at me.

"Sure" she says. "That's why you're grimacing in pain and rubbing your shoulder."

She's got me there.

"I have a knot in my shoulder" I tell her.

She tilts her head the other way and examines me. I feel like I'm under a microscope.

"What?" I ask.

"Roll over" she tells me.

Huh?

"Sid, roll over" she repeats.

I roll onto my stomach and Anna shifts behind me until she's straddling my lower back. I lose all thought of the pain in my shoulder because I'm suddenly very uncomfortable elsewhere.

"Here?" she asks as her fingers probe my shoulder.

I want to tell her that she doesn't have to do this but there is no way in hell I'm going to say those words.

"Higher" I tell her. "Oh yeah" I say as she finds the exact spot.

Anna's fingers probe the spot, first pushing straight down and then circling the knot. I'm momentarily distracted by the pain and then the slow release of that pain. It melts away under her fingers and another part of my body takes over. I barely control the groan as her other hand works my other shoulder. Her fingers are magic. I want to feel them everywhere.

Unfortunately, Anna seems to have other ideas and slides onto the mat beside me.

"Better?" she asks.

I turn my head and look at her.

"Definitely" I tell her. "Thanks."

"Did you hurt anything else when you fell?" she asks me.

"No, I think I'm good."

She frowns at me and tilts her head.

"Are you going to finish your workout?" she asks.

Oh, she's asking because I'm still lying on the mat. Fuck. I can't get up and embarrass myself with how hard I am right now.

"Yeah, in few minutes" I tell her.

"Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself Sid?"

"Yeah, really, I'm ok."

"Ok, if you're sure" she says but doesn't move.

I don't move either and it becomes awkward, very awkward.

"Ok, fine" I tell her and sit up.

It's very obvious what my 'problem' is and I watch as Anna looks down and then back up. Then something really interesting happens. Anna quickly turns bright red, says "oh" and turns quickly back to the treadmill. She misjudges her footing as she stands up and trips. Thankfully she catches herself before she falls. God, what a pair we are.

It is fascinating to watch her embarrassed. I didn't think that anything rattled Anna but she is definitely rattled right now. When she starts running again, and I can see that she's steady, I go back to my own workout making sure that I focus better this time.

When I'm done, I look around and Anna is gone. Shit. I was so focused on my work out that I lost track of Anna. That's not cool. After grabbing my protein drink, I head upstairs and follow the sound of music. Anna is at the kitchen counter making us lunch.

"Damn, I wanted to surprise you" she says when she notices me.

"Anna, you don't need to cook you know."

"I know but I like to cook. Besides, I'm making sandwiches and a salad which isn't really cooking. I hope you don't mind that I rummaged through your fridge."

"Mind? Of course I don't mind. Oh, that looks good" I tell her as I approach the counter.

"I found some left over chicken so" she shrugs.

"Well, it looks delicious. Spinach salad? I love spinach salad."

"That explains why you have so much of it" she tells me as she puts the sandwiches on the breakfast bar.

I notice that she's set it with plates, cutlery and bottles of water. She's made herself at home. I've never had a girl make herself at home in my house before. I've only had one girlfriend during the season but she rarely visited and I lived in the condo then. It's different having my own house or maybe it's different because it's Anna.

When we site down, I hand Anna the sandwich platter so that she can take one. Her shy smile seems out of place given how comfortable she's been in my home; but, she still takes a sandwich and then starts on the salad while I take my own. She's made three. I guess she's come to realize how much we eat. When people are new to pro athletes, they are usually stunned by how many calories we consume in a day. I fleetingly remember how much weight I lost when I broke my jaw. There was no way I was able to eat enough pureed to make up for how much I usually eat.

"This is delicious" I tell her. I don't know what she found in my fridge to make it so good but it really is delicious.

"I'm glad you like it."

We eat in silence but I can hear Anna thinking.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I ask. I look at Anna and she chuckles. "What? My grandma used to say it."

"I've heard it before just never from someone younger than fifty."

"Ha ha" I reply.

I keep looking at her with the question still lying implicitly between us. I know that I've finally worn her down when she rolls her eyes and looks down at her plate.

"I was, um, wondering" she stops and takes a bite of her sandwich.

"What were you wondering Anna? You can ask me anything."

She swallows and then says "I was wondering how many other girls you've had here." As she says this, she turns bright red again and closes her eyes, tight. "I'm sorry, I never should have asked that."

I'm surprised at her question and that I want to answer it.

"I've never had a girl to my house Anna." She looks at me again, skeptically this time. "I'm telling you the truth. I've had the house two years and you're the only girl. I'm assuming my mom and sister don't count" I tease her.

I earn a small smile from her and she nods before going back to her sandwich. Her question has me thinking.

"Why did you ask me that?" I say.

She takes a drink of her water and pauses before answering me. This can't be good.

"Sid, you don't seem like some of the other single guys but" she pauses here.

"But?"

She sighs.

"But, how can you be single?" she asks me and her cutlery drops to her dish.

"Huh?" I'm very confused.

"Ug" she says and puts her face in her hands. "I wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole."

I'm even more confused.

"Anna, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ok" she says, takes a deep breath and turns to me. "I know you wouldn't lie to me, it's not who you are, but how can you have never brought a girl here?"

I'm still confused. She doesn't think I'd lie to her, which is true, but she also doesn't believe me. I just don't get it.

"I still don't understand" I tell her.

Anna looks up to the ceiling and rolls her eyes.

"Sid, you're a hot, pro athlete who is incredibly sweet too. How can you be single?"

Oh. That's what she means. She is so cute.

"Um, well, I don't know about all that but I am single and I did tell you the truth. I don't have a girlfriend and I've never brought a girl here."

"Why?" she asks incredulously.

"Why are you single?" I ask her back.

She frowns and stares at me confused.

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asks.

"It's the same question that you asked me. What's so weird?"

She continues to frown and then tilts her head.

"Ok, I get it" she says and smiles shyly at me.

"Good" I tell her.

Unable to resist, I brush a stray hair back behind her ear. It's sweet the way she leans into my hand for a brief moment. She really doesn't give herself any credit for how wonderful she is.

"Can we finish our lunch now?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that" she tells me and picks up her fork again.

"You apologize a lot" I tell her. "Are you sure you aren't Canadian?"

"Cute" she replies. "Eat your lunch."

We both finish up our lunches and clean up the kitchen together. It feels weird. Domestic.

When we're done, I'm reminded that we're both still in our gym attire and I know that I can definitely use a shower.

"Um, I could really use a shower" I tell her.

I want to ask if she wants one too but I don't want her to think that I think she smells. Oh, I also don't want her to think that I'm asking her to take one with me. How did a shower get so complicated?

"Would you mind if I have one after you?" she asks.

How did she know exactly how to ask that question? She said that she wanted a shower, made sure that I knew it wasn't with me and was polite and nice.

"I have an en suite in one of the spare rooms if you'd like?" I ask.

She smiles and replies "that would be great."

We talked about working out before we left her apartment so Anna brought a bag with her. I show her to the spare room and it takes all of my effort to leave her there and not follow her in the room. I'm going to make my shower a very cold one.

Anna

I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Did I really just ask Sidney Crosby why he doesn't have a girlfriend? I know I'm turning red again and it was an hour ago. Since I forgot a hair dryer, I towel dry it and put it up before heading back downstairs. I find Sid in the kitchen scrolling through his phone. He puts it down when he notices me walk into the room.

He looks so good. His hair is still damp and curls over his forehead. He's dressed in jeans, a tee shirt and sweatshirt. I'm in my own jeans and tee shirt too. We look like any couple spending the day at home on our day off. I almost believe that I could have this life.

"Want to watch a movie?" Sid asks me.

"Yeah, I'd like that" I tell him.

My heart almost skips a beat when Sid takes my hand and leads me downstairs. Opposite his gym, Sid opens a door and lets me walk in ahead of him.

"Wow" escapes me as I take in the room.

Inside the room is an enormous screen at one end. When I take in the rest of the room I notice that there are sofas, comfortable easy-chairs and pillows everywhere. I could live in this room.

"Cool huh?" Sid says.

When I look at him, I see that Sid is smiling widely at me like a little kid. This is definitely one of his toys.

"Yeah" I tell him. "It's really cool."

He pulls me with him to the biggest sofa and we both sink into the soft, plush cushions. Yeah, I could definitely spend lots of time in this room.

"What do you want to watch?" Sid asks me.

He's now holding what looks like a small tablet. I notice that it has a very long list of movies on it and Sid is scrolling through them.

"How many movies do you have?" I ask.

He looks up sheepishly at me and says "I like movies."

"I guess you do" I tell him as I lean over and look at the list.

I'm momentarily distracted by the mixed scent of soap and Sid. It's intoxicating. I bring my attention back to the list of movies.

"You have them in categories" I notice. "There are a lot of sports and war movies Sid."

He shrugs and tilts the list further toward me. I really don't know what kind of movie to choose. If I watch movies then they are usually chick flicks and I doubt that's Sid's speed. That's when I see it.

"You have Fifty Shades of Grey?" I ask and watch as Sid turns red, bright, apple red.

"Guilty" he says and quickly looks down at the list again.

He still looks so embarrassed that I move past it and find the comedies. I see one that I've wanted to watch but I'm not sure I should say it.

"Which one?" Sid asks.

"Don't laugh" I tell him. He crosses his heart. "How about the Lego movie? I hear that it's hilarious. Have you seen it?"

"I just got it" he tells me. "I've wanted to see it too."

Sid turns on the movie and looks at me. He doesn't say anything but continues to stare and I begin to wonder if I have something on my face. Sid leans back and stretches out his arm. That's when I understand and curl up beside him. His arm circles my shoulders and pulls me even closer.

The movie is really funny but half way through I become very distracted. Sid's thumb has started to move slowly over my shoulder, back and forth, back and forth. I can feel it throughout my entire body, just that one small movement, over and over, which makes my body shiver.

"Cold?" Sid asks.

Without thinking, I say "yeah" to cover up my reaction to him.

Sid moves away from me and pulls his sweatshirt off over his head. I get a flash of smooth, hard skin before he pulls his tee shirt down and hands the sweatshirt to me. It's warm and smells like him as I pull it over my head and savour.

Sid pulls me back to his side. This is what a perfect moment feels like, it has to be. We laugh together, snuggle closer and touch often.

"One sec" Sid says and shifts away from me. He pushes himself back farther into the corner of the sofa and pulls me with him so that I'm partially lying on top of him and between his legs. I lay my head on his chest and my hand on his heart. It feels like heaven.

Neither of us moves when the movie ends and then another one begins. The Lego movie must be in the kids section of movies because the next one comes on and is about Barbie. Sid and I both chuckle and he picks up the tablet thing. The movie turns off and music turns on. I don't recognize the song but it's slow and the woman's voice has a definite twang of country.

I look up at Sid and he's look down at me intently. On instinct, I reach up and cup his cheek, and Sid turns his head and kisses my palm. When his eyes turn back to me they are dark and I easily get lost in them. I barely notice that he's pulled me closer until his lips meet mine, softly at first but then becoming more insistent until mine respond in kind. His lips are soft and warm as they move against mine. His hand slides down to my lower back and presses me even closer to him.

I moan and turn so that I'm more fully pressed against him, straddling his lap now and cupping his cheeks as we continue to kiss. I feel like I'm surrounded by Sid. His sweatshirt holds his scent; his arms are around me, his hard body pressed against mine. I gasp when his hand slips under my shirt and I feel his warm palm against the bare skin of my lower back.

I open my eyes and look directly into Sid's as his hand climbs higher. He stops when he reaches my bra and I can see the unspoken question in his eyes. He's leaving it up to me. Do we cross this line? Do we go farther? Suddenly I'm not as sure as I was just ten seconds ago. Why did he have to stop?


	15. Chapter 15

Anna

He's leaving it up to me. Do I want this or do I want to stop? I know that I want this but how could he? Sid can have any woman in the world but he wants me? I desperately wish that I had more experience or that I was sexier. I watch as Sid waits for my decision. This is the second time he's wanted me. Sure the first time he was drunk but this time he's sober.

I reach behind for his hand and push it further up my back. Sid understands and slides his hand over my bra clasp as he sits up so that we're face to face. His clever fingers release by bra as his lips capture mine again. I wrap my hands around his neck and feast my fingers in his hair. It's dry now, thick and curly.

Both of his hands travel over the bare skin of my back, to my waist and then his thumbs each slip under my bra. I moan into his mouth when each thumb flicks a nipple. I lose control and my head falls back as he does it again. Sid's lips kiss and lick my neck from chin to shoulder as his thumbs flick again. I moan louder this time.

"You are so hot when you moan" Sid says in a deep, husky voice.

I guide his head back up so that I can taste his lips again. The heat rushing through me is nothing like I've ever felt before in my life. I've never had a man want me like Sid seems to or kiss me like he does or make me feel the way he does. Of course I've only slept with one other guy before so there isn't much to compare.

Sid pulls away from me and slides his hands up my sides taking both my shirt and bra with them. I put my arms straight up to help him and then I'm shirtless. I'm more than a little breathless and much more than a little turned on. Sid's eyes as he looks at my newly bare skin are overwhelming; but, then he reaches behind him and pulls his tee shirt off. I forget everything but Sid.

Sure, I've seen him shirtless before but never like this, never when I can just reach out and touch him while he's touching me. I'm desperate to touch him, everywhere, but I don't. I've never known what to do or how to do it. When I've been with Sid before, instinct took over and I didn't have time to think about anything. Now that we're here, alone, I'm unsure of myself.

"What's wrong?" Sid asks.

He cups my cheek and rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. I shake my head.

"Tell me Anna. We don't have to do anything else if you don't want to" he tells me. "Talk to me."

He looks so sweet and concerned that I blurt out "I don't know what to do."

Mortified, I pull my hands from his shoulders and cover my face. I want to pick up my things and run far and fast from this room, this house, everything.

Sid chuckles and I just groan my embarrassment.

"Oh, Anna. I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, honest" he tells me. "You said that you aren't a virgin. I mean you and I already, you know."

He's not letting me go so I lift my face and look at him. He's smiling but in a kind way.

"Yes we did and I had a boyfriend who I, you know, too. Anyway, I just don't have a lot of experience and it's, well, it's you." I stop and shake my head. "I think I'm just going to get my things and go."

Sid cups both of my cheeks and forces me to look him in the eyes again.

"You can definitely do that if it's what you want. Or we can get dressed and watch another movie. Or we can" he trails off. "It's up to you."

I'm stunned.

"You mean you still want to" I ask but don't complete my full thought.

Sid pulls me closer to him and kisses me softly. I'm close enough that I know that his kiss is the only thing that is soft. I can feel how much he wants me pressed up against me.

"It's up to you Anna" he says and kisses me again.

He leans his forehead against mine and waits. Again, he waits for my decision. We've already done this of course I push away everything that came after or else I would say no for sure.

"Yes" I tell him.

"Yes?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Oh thank God" he says and kisses me again, hard this time.

I dig my fingers into his shoulders, his gorgeous, hard, muscles. He pulls me even closer and his hips tilt up and I grind down against him. The friction gives me some relief but it also makes me want more. Sid kisses down my neck and I sit up higher on my knees to give him better access. His hands continue pushing me up so that my breasts are in line with his lips. I'm ready to beg for them but I don't have to because he leans closer to me. At first he kisses and licks the swells of each breast while his hands cup and push them up. He makes me wait, desperately, for his lips to find their final goal. I try to guide his head but he won't let me. I'm completely at his mercy.

"Sid, please" comes out of my mouth. I'm stunned. I never talk during sex; never.

He doesn't make me wait any longer for his lips to capture one of my nipples between them. He sucks, licks, kisses and sucks again. My nipple gets harder and harder and then he moves to the one and repeats. I'm lost in sensations that I've never felt before and overwhelmed by the heat coursing through my body. I'm vaguely aware that I keep grinding my hips against Sid's and his answer. I want more, much, much more.

Sid pulls away and shifts so that I'm sitting on the sofa and he's kneeling in front of me. He undoes the button of my jeans and then pulls so I lift my hips to help him. Now I'm sitting in front of him in nothing but my panties. I'm suddenly aware that my stomach is round instead of flat. My thighs must seem huge to him. He has probably never been with a woman like me before.

Whatever I'm thinking flies out of my head as Sid lifts one of my legs. He starts kissing my instep and then up my calf, thigh and hip before he moves to the other leg and repeats the same. My body is jello, absolutely jello and I can't do anything but watch as he expertly plays it. He kisses up my stomach and then pays special attention to one breast and then the other. His lips slowly travel up my chest, neck and capture my lips.

I feast my hands in his hair and his lips become more insistent. His tongue plays over mine, dueling, parrying, thrusting, over and over. I sit up straighter so that I can pull his body closer to me. His hard, naked chest against my own skin feels exquisite. Sid's hands slide down my back and slip inside my panties where his fingers explore the exposed skin. I'm suddenly desperate but my mind doesn't compute exactly for what. I just know that I need more.

The button of Sid's jeans presses against my skin and I realize that he's still wearing them. I pull away from Sid and he lifts his head. His eyes, oh my God, his eyes are almost black with their intensity. It takes my breath away for a few moments but then I remember my task.

With trembling fingers, I reach for the button on his jeans. My hands are shaking causing me to fumble a bit. I'm quickly reminded why I don't take control more often. While I fumble with the button, Sid leans down and kisses my neck softly and slowly. It both excites and calms my nerves. With the button undone, I turn my attention to the zipper and this goes much smoother. Sid helps me push them down and then he stands to take them off completely.

I look up at him unsure what to do next. Sid takes my hand and pulls me so that I'm standing too. He leans down and we kiss. It begins softly again, slowly, teasing. I feel his hard muscles when I slide my hands up his arms, to his shoulders and then around his neck. Sid's breathing changes and so does our kiss. It becomes more desperate and we're both breathing hard and heavy. His fingers find their way into my panties again and he pushes them down so that they fall at my feet. He pulls back slightly so that he can pull down his own boxer briefs and then he grabs his jeans. After fishing through his pocket, he pulls out a condom. Thank God I don't have to ask if he has any.

Sid sits on the sofa, pulls on the condom and then takes my hand so that I can straddle him. I have a flash back to our first time when he was fumbling with fast hands. This time is so different.

He doesn't immediately thrust; instead, we kiss again and again, heating up quickly. My hands travel over his shoulders, neck, into his hair, I can't keep them still. I want to touch him everywhere. I feel Sid's fingers tighten on my back when I tug has hair and angle his face more. The only thought that goes over and over through my head is 'more'. I need more.

I pull back, lift up slightly and place my hands on his shoulders. Sid uses his hand to guide inside of me as I push down against him. Oh God, I've never felt anything like this, never had sex this way before. It feels like I am completely filled with Sidney. I revel in the feeling of fullness and think that I moan. Sid holds me to him and neither of us moves. Slowly, his hips begin to move and cause me to rock back and forth. Wow, just wow. All other thoughts are gone and can't be formed. I start moving myself and alternate between the rocking and using his shoulders to rise up and down.

I think my head has fallen back because Sid is now kissing my neck. When he gets to my collar bone, he nips at me with his teeth and then laves it with his tongue. My body feels too hot. Sweat breaks out over every inch of my skin and there is this unfamiliar pressure building deep inside of me. This is so incredibly intense that it momentarily scares me and I stiffen up.

Sid moves his lips to my ear, kisses my neck underneath and then takes my lobe between his lips and sucks. At the same time, he stops thrusting and his hand moves between us. I don't know what he's doing but it all feels so good. Oh God, now I know as his fingers press and play with my clit.

"Come on baby" he says directly into my ear.

The pressure inside of me, his fingers on my clit and his breath in my ear must do what he wanted because I feel my body stiffen but in a different way than before. Sid starts thrusting again and I begin to shake as another heat wave rushes over my body. I'm vaguely away of Sid groaning loud into my ear as I collapse onto him.

It could be minutes or hours, I don't know, before I join consciousness again. First, I feel Sid's fingers stroke slowly up and down my spine. Then I notice that I'm a sweaty mess, my hair is everywhere and I can't seem to care.

"Are you still with me?" Sid whispers into my ear.

An involuntary shudder travels through my body at both his words and feeling his breath in my ear again.

"I'm still alive, right?" I ask.

His deep chuckle has the same effect as his breath did. Oh God.

"Yeah, you're still alive" he replies.

I snuggle into a more comfortable position so that my head is on his shoulder. The problem is that my head is more comfortable but my right leg is cramping, badly.

"I need to stand" I tell Sid. "My leg hurts."

Sid immediately stands and takes me with him. I slide down his body until I'm standing and can work out the kink in my leg.

"Better?" he asks.

"Yeah" I reply and look up at him.

Sid's hair is a mess from my fingers. His lips are even larger than usual and I feel a secret pleasure that it's from my lips. He's as sweaty as I am.

Sid leans down and stands handing me his shirt. I'm grateful and put it on. Being naked while we were, well, that's different than standing in front of him now. Sid puts on his boxer briefs.

We stand looking at each other in an awkward silence. What do I say or do now?

"Why don't we go upstairs?" Sid asks. "I'd love another shower."

He grins at me and I feel all of the awkwardness melt away. I'd love another shower too.

"Sounds good to me" I tell him.

We pick up our clothes and start walking out of the room. Sid reaches for my hand and pauses to kiss me. When he lifts his head, he's grinning again and then leads me up the stairs until we're at the bedroom floor. I'm confused when he turns to the left instead of to the right where the spare rooms are. I know that we're in his room immediately. First, it's huge and has a California king bed. The furniture and colours are all very masculine and there is a big screen TV on one wall.

He tosses his clothes on the ottoman at the end of the bed so I drop mine there too. Sid doesn't stop until we're in the bath room. Inside is the largest shower I've ever seen. It's as big as my first dorm room. There are multiple shower heads, two benches and looks like its sealed.

"I know" Sid says. "Most people spend the most money in their house on their kitchen. I spent it here. Come on."

Sidney

After our shower, and a little more play time, we lay in my bed exhausted. What is it about this girl? I trust her implicitly and that never happens. I'm always comfortable with her and I never worry about saying something stupid. She just fits, like she does right now, curled up beside me, in my arms; it's a little disconcerting. My iPhone is on the nightstand softly playing music. It's country which Anna seems to like since she's humming.

"You like country music?" I ask her.

"I'm from the south, remember?"

"You don't have an accent. I thought you grew up in Pennsylvania."

"My mother is from the south which means my sister and I are too. It doesn't matter where you were raised."

"How come you don't say y'all?" I ask her and am rewarded with a chuckle.

"When we visit my mother's family in the south, I definitely speak more southern and an accent develops."

"Ok, so I've always wondered. Why do some people in the south say 'y'all' and others say 'all y'all'? What's the difference?"

"Y'all is singular and all y'all is plural."

"Huh?"

She shifts and rests her chin on my chest so that she can look at me. I absently brush back a lock of her hair that's fallen over her forehead.

"If is saw you alone, I'd say 'how y'all doing?' If I saw you and a few others then I'd say 'how are all y'all doing?"

"That's weird" I tell her.

"That's the south."

She rests her check back onto my chest and absently begins to 'draw' circles on my stomach with her finger. I don't think she even realizes that she's doing it.

There's something that I've been curious about so I decide to take advantage of the moment.

"Anna, um, can I ask you something?"

"Of course" is her immediate response.

"Earlier, when we were having sex, you seemed embarrassed. I mean you even blushed."

"Maybe I was just hot" is her sassy retort but I sense something else. There's an undercurrent of something in her tone.

"I can definitely agree that you're hot" I tell her and kiss the top of her head. "But that's not what I meant. I hope that I didn't do something."

I guess I'm still worried about what she thinks of me. Fuck, I don't even remember the first time we had sex. It's a miracle that she's in my bed right now.

"Oh Sid, no" she says and looks up at me again. "It was wonderful this time, honestly."

She looks earnest and pleading for me to believe her; but, that doesn't explain the embarrassment.

"That's good. So what's up with the blushing?"

She puts her cheek back down on my chest but not before I see her cheeks pink up again.

"Sid, it's just that, oh crap, can we just change the subject?"

"No Anna. Now I'm really worried."

"Ok, fine. God, I'm so embarrassed. Look, Sid, I've um" she pauses again but this time I wait for her to continue. "I don't have a lot of experience."

Experience? With what? Oh, experience.

"Oh" I say. Great response, idiot. "You said that you weren't a virgin, right?"

"I wasn't a virgin but I've only been with one other guy Sid."

She tilts her face further into my chest clearly embarrassed with our conversation. It's starting to embarrass me that I've caused this but we're talking about it so might as well keep going.

"Oh" I say, again. Brilliant. "I never would have thought that" I tell her. Maybe I should just stop talking.

"You did notice because you asked why I was embarrassed."

This conversation is not going the way I anticipated at all. How do I get out of this now that I've started it?

"I meant that, um, by the way you" I stop. "Ok, can we just change the subject?"

Now she tilts her head up again.

"You brought it up!" she tells me.

"I just wanted to make sure that I didn't do anything wrong or something. I mean after our first time" I stop. I suddenly remember something that she just said a few moments ago. "You just said 'it was wonderful this time.' What did you mean? What happened last time?"

She tries to turn away from me but this has become serious and we need to talk about it. I sit up against the headboard and she wraps the sheet more securely around herself and sits cross legged next to me. I've already seen her. Why is she covering up?

"Sid, last time was fine" she tells me.

"That's not 'wonderful' like this time. What happened?"

She shrugs a shoulder. "Sid, it's not a big deal."

"Tell me."

She lets out a long breath and says "fine. Last time you were very drunk, more so than I think we both realized, so it didn't quite go like it did today."

"You mean I didn't get it up?!" I say before my brain can catch up with my mouth.

Now I'm the one who is embarrassed.

"No, I mean yes, you were able to, um, get it up."

"Ok, so what then?"

She looks up, shuts her eyes and then says "it just didn't last very long."

Oh. Shit. Shit. Shit. I really try to make sure I take care of the girl I'm with but it sounds like Anna had to take care of herself that night.

"I'm so sorry Anna. God, it doesn't feel like there are enough apologies in the world." Then another stray thought comes into focus. "Anna, you're not the kind of girl who would have a one night hook up with a strange guy at a party. How did that happen? Why?"

She looks down at her hands where she is currently twisting them in her lap.

"Lauren brought me to that party because I was upset. The guy I was dating turned out to be a complete ass and only dating me for my family's connections. He was another good-on-paper guy that my mother loved of course. I caught him with my father's chief of staff's daughter. Anyway, I was really upset and tired of my life and who I am. You were sweet and funny. You didn't care that I didn't look like the other girls at the party, tall, skinny, gorgeous. We went somewhere to talk and one thing just led to another."

"If all of that happened, how could you possibly let me near you now? I mean, I was drunk, we had shitty sex and then I didn't even remember. Why are you here?"

She looks stunned at my question and then is quiet for a long time. Finally she answers me.

"I guess that there's something about you that pulls me to you. I don't know how to explain it" she says softly.

I'm surprised because that's how I've felt since that time in the elevator. For the first couple of days, I don't think that I even remembered her name but after I got to know her, I was drawn to her over and over.

The look on her face is so raw and completely stripped of any artifice. We were having a wonderful day and I had to bring up all of the old shit. I guess it is better that we've talked about it so there's nothing between us anymore. Nothing expect that sheet she's clinging to her chest.

I take the sheet and slowly tug. At first Anna is surprised but then, slowly, she releases it so that it slides down and reveals her body. God, she's gorgeous.

When the sheet is completely gone, I toss it aside and lean over Anna pushing her back so that she's lying on the bed with my body covering hers.

"What are you doing?"

"It seems to me that I owe you an orgasm."

"Oh Sid" she says and rolls her eyes.

"Hey, I pay my debts and it seems I left you hanging that time before. I need to fix that, now."

She starts to speak but I cut her off with my lips. At first hers are hesitant but they respond more and more the longer we kiss. Her arms circle my back and I can feel her fingers digging into my skin. It's a major turn on.

If she's as inexperienced as she says then I wonder what kind of sex she's had with that one boyfriend. I instantly hate the guy because he's the only other man in the world who has seen Anna like this although, maybe not exactly like this.

I kiss down her neck, licking and nipping lightly as I go. Anna's fingers dig deeper into my back and I get hard in response. She moans and sighs. Those noises go directly to my dick and I feel like I might explode. I replay video of the last game in my head to keep from sliding inside and taking her. This is for her.

I slide down her body and Anna's hands slide to my shoulders now. I lave at one nipple with my tongue and alternate between sucking and licking. I play with the other, rolling it between my fingers and massaging her breast with my palm. I switch sides and continue my ministrations. I can feel Anna's hips begin to rotate against my stomach. I'm coming to learn that this is her body's way of telling me she's getting wet.

I look up at Anna and her head is thrown back and she's biting her lip. Her face is flushed and periodically she moves her head from left to right. Fuck she's so hot. While I'm still watching her, I slide my hand down her stomach and between her legs. Fuck she's so wet. At first I tease and only slide my finger over her labia back and forth. She tries to push against my hand for more but my body is still half covering hers so she's unable to move.

"Sidney!" she cries out.

I don't make her wait any further. Instead I slide one finger inside and feel just how hot and wet she is. I slip another finger inside and the use both to lightly stretch and circle each wall. Her hips start to rotate slightly. I could easily make her cum but I don't want to do that with my fingers. With her inexperience, I wonder if that guy ever went down on her. I'm betting not. He was probably some ivy league, southern dilatant that didn't give a shit about her needs.

I kiss down her stomach and push her thighs wide. When I reach her pubic bone, I watch her head raise and her eyes open wide with shock. Yep, I'm right. That asshole never did this with her.

Since I'm almost at the edge of the bed, I slide completely off and pull Anna with me so that she's lined up for me directly at the edge. With her legs wide, I can focus on my main goal. I pull open her labia and see how excited she is. She's definitely wet and her clit is engorged. Awesome.

Thinking that I should take it slowly, I leave soft kisses over the inside of one thigh and then the other. She sighs, almost mews, so I continue. First, I leave a kiss directly on her clit. Anna responds with an "ohhhh". Her fingers dig into sheets.

Next I take her clit between my lips. Her hips shift quickly and she moans at the contact. She is so sensitive right now after our shower and theatre fun. I push using the flat of my tongue and her hips tilt up while she moans again. I feel it directly in my dick again. Fuck.

I would love to drag this out more but I don't think that I have the self-control for it. I might just cum like a teenager. Shifting slightly lower, I slide my tongue inside of her and my nose makes contact with her clit.

"Ahhhhhhhh" she calls out and moans again.

I swirl my tongue for a few moments and then go back to her clit. Her hips begin to rotate and one of her hands comes down on the top of my head. She fists my hair and holds me there. So she prefers having her clit played with. I wonder if she even notices that she's holding my head there.

Slowly I increase the speed of my movements; kissing, sucking, flicking. I move faster and faster and the nails of her hand in my hair dig into my scalp. Her hips rotate and push against my face until I she finally stops, I feel her legs tighten and her juice runs over my chin. The hand in my hair falls back onto the bed.

When I look up, Anna's eyes are closed and she is still except for her heavy breathing. Before joining her on the bed, I use the sheet to wipe my face then I climb up beside her. She's lying still and hasn't even opened her eyes.

"Are you ok?" I ask her softly.

"Um" is all she says.

"Um?"

She licks her lips and slowly turns her head so that she's facing me. Anna opens her eyes and blinks a few times before focusing. Her lips curve up into a beautiful smile.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi" she tells me. "I feel like I should say thank you."

She blushes as she says this and it's so fucking cute.

"It was my pleasure" I tell her. "Is my debt repaid?"

Now she frowns and says "Sid, there was nothing to repay. Please don't feel guilty about that night. It was what it was and it's behind us ok? Can we just stop talking about it?"

She looks serious and upset.

"Ok Anna. Of course, we'll put it behind us."

I slide up the bed and pull her with me. She lies in my arms and I pull up the sheet and blanket over us. I want to ask her one more thing although I'm hesitant to do so. Screw it.

"Is that the first time a guy has gone down on you?" I ask.

I can actually feel her blushing against my chest.

"Anna?"

"Yes" she says.

"Yes it's the first time or are you saying yes to my saying your name?"

She's quiet for a moment then says "yes to both."

I feel like a cave man but I take immense pride and pleasure that I was the first one. It makes me wonder what other firsts she wants to experience. This definitely has possibilities.


	16. Chapter 16

Anna

"Need help. Don't know what this means" Geno pushes a paper into my hands.

I'm sitting at my desk and Geno never, ever comes up here. He could of course but hasn't so far. This is very odd.

"Ok" I say hesitantly and look at the paper.

It looks like a legal document from immigration. I see his parent's names in the subject line and read further. I can see why he had so much trouble with it. Geno's English has come a long way but I can't see him being able to read this legalize.

"It's from immigration" I tell him. "They have approved your parent's visas and the extension that you've requested. Oh, your parents are coming for a visit. This letter says they can arrive November 3 and stay until January 3. Wow, it's great that they'll be here for Christmas."

"That's all? No problems with anything?" he asks me.

"No, it's an approval letter. Did you think there might be a problem?"

"Sometimes problems with visitors from Russia."

"Oh, there are no problems here" I tell him and hand the letter back.

"Thanks" he says and leaves.

Not ten seconds later, he comes back to me and asks "my brother not given visa?"

I take the document again and read it.

"No, there's nothing here about your brother. Did he apply for a visa too?"

"Yes, with parents."

"There's a number you can call to ask about it" I tell him.

He looks thoughtful and then frowns.

"Would you help? My English" he says and shrugs.

"Of course, let's go" I tell him and lead him down the hall to an empty meeting room.

I dial the number on the speaker phone and then navigate through the governmental phone system. It takes five minutes but we finally reach a person. I look at Geno but he just points to me. I guess that I'm handling this for him.

I explain the situation to the woman on the phone and ask if she can tell us about his brother's visa.

"I can only release that information to Mr. Malkin" she tells me.

"He's here with me" I reply and point to Geno.

"Yeah, I here" he says.

"Mr. Malkin?"

"Yes" he says in his adorable lisp.

"Would you please give me your brother's information and I will look it up?"

Geno gives the woman all of the information she requests and then she's silent for a while.

"You there?" Geno asks.

"Yes, my apologies Mr. Malkin. It seems that the Russian government has disapproved the visa on their end so we can't process it."

"Why they disapprove?" Geno asks.

"Unfortunately I don't have access to that information. We either receive an approval or disapproval from the home country and then we proceed with our approval process. You will need to contact the Russian government."

"How I do that?" Geno asks.

"Um, I don't know that I have that information" she begins.

"It's ok" I tell her. "We will figure it out. Thank you."

I disconnect the call and turn to Geno.

"What I do now? This never happened" he tells me.

"Can you give me your brother's information? Full legal name, address, a government security number, whatever he uses as ID."

"Why?" he asks.

"I'll ask my father's staff to look into it."

Geno's eyebrows go up and he's clearly surprised.

"You do that?" he asks.

"Yeah Geno, I can do that."

He looks at me, then the closed door, and awkwardly steps towards me and gives me a hug. It's brief and awkward but heartfelt.

"Thank you" he says gruffly and then leaves the room.

So typically Geno. He cares deeply but doesn't let others see it. I'll have to be clear with him that my dad and his staff can't do anything to get his brother here but they can find out why his application was disapproved and who we can contact. Maybe the Pen's lawyers can help Geno when we have the information.

I'm about to leave the room but Sid appears in the doorway and pushes me back in the room. Before I can catch up, he has me against the closed door and his lips are on mine. They are hot, hard and I feel it directly between my legs. It's like he has a direct line there every time.

Of course I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm giving it right back. My tongue duels with his as I wrap one leg around his and grind against him. It's like I'm trying to merge my body with his. I cup his cheeks and then slide my hands to the back of his neck. Thank goodness I'm in my super high heels. We're almost the same height which means that everything is lined up just right.

Sid's lips leave mine and travel down my neck then to my ear. I can't contain my moan when his teeth sink into my lobe.

"Shhh" he says into my ear causing a shiver.

"I can't help it" I whisper.

"Neither can I" he replies and kisses me again.

It was only yesterday that we spent the day at Sid's house and in his bed. And the shower. And the kitchen. I actually had to soak in a hot tub last night because I was so sore. Even this morning, sitting on my kitchen stool was uncomfortable. I just can't seem to care right now as I grind against him again.

Sid's hands both slide to my behind and he lifts me up so that he fits directly between my legs as I wrap them around him. He's so strong and I can feel the muscles in his arms and shoulders strain. It is such a turn on. Quickly I'm losing all rational thought, especially when he grinds his hips into mine, and I want him desperately.

Suddenly, Sid pulls his head back and rests his forehead against mine.

"Two more minutes and I'm going to forget we're at the rink" Sid says.

"I already have" I confess.

"You can't say things like that to me. I have to go downstairs and fit into my cup."

It takes me a few moments but then I understand what he's saying. The giggle escapes my lips before I can stop it.

Sid steps back and holds me as I slowly slide down his body. It gives me ideas to feel every hard inch of his body against mine but he's right. Sid needs to get to practice.

"What are you doing after the game tonight?" he asks me.

"Sleeping?"

"What about before sleeping?"

"Um, working?" I tease him.

"Ok, how between sleeping and working?"

"Hmmm" I reply. "I don't know what I'll be doing."

"How about doing me?"

I groan and say "oh my God. That was so bad. Seriously bad."

"But what's your answer?"

I think of the few spare hours I'll have to sleep between the game and morning but then I look at Sid. My answer was a forgone conclusion.

"Sure" I answer and shrug one shoulder nonchalantly.

"Sure?" he says and his eyes narrow. "Sure? That's it?"

I catch on too late as Sid tickles me. I laugh loudly.

"Sid, stop it, please. People will hear us."

He stops and pulls me into his arms. I encircle his waist with my arms and snuggle in for a few moments.

Finally, I have to say "ok, we should go. I'll go first." I lean back and kiss him lightly. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Sounds good" he tells me and kisses me again.

I pull away, reluctantly, and leave him in the meeting room. Thankfully there is no one in the hall so I brush back my hair and straighten my blouse.

"Where have you been?" Adam asks when I get back to my desk.

I carefully blank my expression and turn to him.

"Geno had a problem that I was helping him with. The language was complex so he asked for some help with the English" I tell him.

It's partially true.

"I'm going to start worrying about you and Geno soon" he says.

"Don't you say that out loud Adam! You know how fast gossip spreads in this place. Besides, I think of him as a brother. Just the thought of that is disgusting."

"Yeah, you're right about the gossip, sorry" he tells me. "A bunch of us are going for a drink after the game. You coming?"

"Sorry, no, I'm going to go home. I definitely need some sleep" I tell him.

"It was our day off yesterday. How come you need sleep? Doing anything that's keeping you awake?" he teases me.

Again, I carefully blank my expression before saying "hardly. God, you have a one track mind."

"Always. Ok, your loss."

He goes back to his desk and I begin going through email. I have to remind myself to focus since my mind keeps wandering back to Sid both yesterday and a few minutes ago. I can't wait for tonight.

Sidney

It is taking epic skills to focus on what the coach is telling us at the second intermission. We're down by one goal. My mind wanders at the absolute worst time. I see flashes of Anna from various times over the past day. Our few minutes in the meeting room this morning just made me want more.

"Comin' Sid" Geno says.

I look up and everyone has left the locker room. Shit, I really have to focus. I manage to do so and set Kuni up for a goal and then I get one myself. We win the game. As the press come into the locker room, I keep my eyes on the door looking for Anna. I catch a quick glimpse of her right before the reporters start throwing questions at me.

I've never wished for a media scrum to be over so much in my life. Finally it is and I go to the change room. I look at my phone before going to shower and I see one from Anna.

'My apartment tonight?'

I text back 'Sounds great, 30 mins?'

'See u then x'

So freaking cute. She gave me a kiss in her text. I shower and dress in record time and even find myself humming on the way to her place. It's only when I'm outside of her building that I realize I never asked when she's leaving Consol. How much longer does she stay after our media scrums are over? I may be here before she is. Has it been 30 minutes?

The doorman sees me and I hear the door buzz so I go in.

"Miss Stanton informed us of your arrival Mr. Crosby. You may go directly to the elevator."

I thank him and do exactly what he said. I guess she is here. As the elevator clicks up each floor, I feel my excitement grow and I'm almost vibrating as I walk to her door.

When I knock, I hear a muffled "it's open."

I walk in and there is soft lighting on in the living room and light is spilling out from the kitchen. I hang up my jacket, take off my shoes and make my way to the kitchen.

When I walk in, Anna says "damn. I wanted to be ready and get changed before you got here."

"I'm actually surprised that you are here before me."

"Some of the guys were going for a drink after the game so they left right away. I wasn't noticed when I slipped out after them" she tells me.

"I guess you usually stay later."

She just shrugs and says "I really want to do well so I stay until I get everything done."

That makes me worry.

"Is there something that you needed to do? We could have met later, or" I drift off there. The 'or' would be not seeing each other tonight and that isn't an option in my mind.

"No, it's good Sid. Ah ha, here's the bottle I was looking for. It's the only one left from my last trip to Paris."

I watch her expertly uncork the bottle. It's such a turn on how, well, competent and self-sufficient she is. This isn't a girl who would be clingy or need everything done for her. Not like some of my past girlfriends. Whoa, I need to slow the fuck down. She's hardly my girlfriend.

"Here you go" she hands me a glass.

I taste it and it's delicious.

"I see why you brought bottles of this home with you" I tell her.

"Yeah, I've been trying to find a consigner who carries it in the US but I haven't found one."

We sip our wine and stare at each other. It's definitely awkward. Did she say yes to getting together so that we could spend the night together? Is she considering this a 'date' and wants to talk but not have sex?

"Want to go sit down?" she asks and I nod.

When we're on the sofa I loosen and take off my tie then undo a couple of buttons. That's much better. I may have to wear a suit for every game day but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. When I look up, Anna is staring at me, her wine forgotten in her hand and her eyes, fuck her eyes, they're filled with lust. That's all I can call it. It's pure lust.

I put my glass down on the coffee table and then do the same with hers. She doesn't resist or even move. All Anna does is continue staring at me and I know that she wants me. Slowly, I cup her cheek and run my thumb over her bottom lip. Her mouth parts, slightly, and a soft sigh escapes. Is everything she does hot?

"Do you want to go to my bedroom?" she asks, almost whispering.

"More than anything" I tell her and chuckle.

She giggles too and the awkwardness is completely gone. I take her hand so she follows me when I stand up and I lead us down the hall.

"To the right" she says.

When I walk in, I can only be surprised. This conservative, sometimes confident and sometime shy girl has a huge bed. I look at her surprised.

"What?" she asks. "I like a lot of room when I sleep."

On a laugh, I pick her up and throw her onto the bed where she bounces and giggles. Her skirt rides up and shows where her thigh high stockings meet her bare skin. I grow harder as I walk to the edge of the bed.

"Why do girls always have so many pillows on their beds?" I ask Anna.

I watch her smile disappear and she frowns. Shit. What did I say wrong?

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head and smiles, a tight, insincere smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Nothing" she replies and sits up.

"It's something Anna. Look, please be honest with me" I feel like I'm begging her but I hate when I feel like she's holding back from me.

She looks down at her clasped hands in her lap. I sit down on the bed and wait.

"It's just" she begins and I see her swallow.

"Tell me" I say softly.

She looks up and smiles again only this time it's genuine.

"I'm being silly" she tells me.

Before I can react, Anna slides back to lie against the pillows piled at the headboard. The top few buttons of her blouse popped opened when she bounced on the bed and now gape open showing off the swell of her breasts. All conversation leaves my brain immediately. She doesn't even realize how fucking hot she is.

I crawl up the bed, stalking her, and she giggles and bites her bottom lip. Yep, so fucking hot. I stop when I straddle her. She doesn't move, doesn't do anything else and I'm reminded of her inexperience. Maybe she needs help knowing what to do.

"Will you do something for me?" I ask and lean in to kiss her softly. Anna nods. "Unbutton my shirt."

Her eyes open wide and she takes a deep breath before reaching for the first button on my shirt. Slowly, one by one, she slips my buttons open. When she gets to the bottom, I think she's going to stop but she pulls my shirt out of my pants and completely off of me. She sits back again. I guess she's comfortable following directions but not taking the lead herself.

I reach behind me and pull my tee shirt off over my head. Her eyes drop to my chest, she licks her lips and her fingers clasp and unclasp. Yeah, she wants to but isn't.

"Touch me" I tell her in a voice I barely recognize.

The self-control I have to use is killing me very slowly especially when she licks her lips again. Slowly she reaches out with both hands and lightly touches my shoulders before trailing them down chest. I manage to not grab her and throw her back on the bed but I can't stop the shiver that runs through me. Anna's eyes fly to mine, wide and full of lust.

"Keep going" I say in a deep, raspy voice.

Her fingers slide lower and, with trembling fingers, she unbuckles my belt. I might burst out of my shorts before she's done. She continues with the button of my pants and then the zipper. Really fearful that I might explode, I shift and stand up beside the bed. My pants fall to the floor and I'm standing in front of her in only my boxer briefs.

"Now you" I tell her. "Blouse first." She begins to unbutton her blouse quickly so I say "slowly."

She looks uncertain but slows down. I watch as she reveals more and more skin and then slips the blouse off. My fingers are itching to touch her.

"Scoot over to the edge" I tell her.

When she's sitting with her legs over the edge of the bed, I kneel down in front of her and reach up and under her skirt. I roll one stocking down, slowly, making sure that my fingers skim down her leg. Then I repeat the action with the other leg. Her breathing picks up and I think she gasps when my fingers brush the instep of her foot.

After tossing the stockings aside, I sit back and say "stand up."

When she's in front of me, I reach behind her skirt and undo the button and zipper so that it falls to her feet. Kneeling in front of her, I'm at the perfect height.

I trail kisses across her stomach, one side to the other, and then I move my lips lower and slide my thumbs into the band of her panties. Sliding them down an inch, my lips follow and I feel her sway slightly. Her hands reach out and rest on my shoulders. When I slide her panties down an inch further, her fingers dig into my flesh. I lean back and pull her panties completely off.

"Sit" I say softly and she does.

I move closer until I'm kneeling directly between her legs. Softly we kiss as I reach around and unclasp her bra. Sliding it slowly down her arms, I feel her shiver and her lips part on a sigh. I take advantage and slide my tongue between her lips and over hers. Anna's hands slide up my neck and into my hair.

I want to hear her moan again so I leave her lips, kiss down her neck and then down further until I can capture her nipple in my mouth. She sighs and her fingers dig into my scalp. Stilling wanting to hear that sexy moan, I let my hand travel further down while I play with her nipple in my lips. When I reach the apex of her legs, my middle finger parts her flesh and then settles on her clit. Simultaneously pushing down with my finger and sucking her nipple elicits that perfect moan that goes directly to my dick.

I move my finger further so that I can slip it inside and look up at her face. She moans again and her head falls back. Continuing to watch her, I slip another finger inside and swirl them around slowly stretching and feeling all of her walls. She cries out when I slide over the front wall and I feel her body tremble from head to toe. She's so responsive and has no idea how fucking hot she is.

"Slide back to the middle of the bed" I tell her and stand while she does so.

She pulls her knees together and her cheeks pink. Clearly she isn't comfortable with her body and I have no idea why. I'll embarrass myself if I keep staring at her. After pushing off my boxer briefs, I grab a condom from my pants, slip it on and climb onto the bed pushing her legs apart as I grow closer. Lightly I leave kisses up the inside of one thigh and then repeat on the other. Anna's hips tilt up in response.

"Sid please" she cries out.

"Please what?" I ask because I can't resist teasing her.

"Please" she says again more desperately.

I don't want to tease her too much since she's still becoming comfortable with what's going on between us. While that's the truth, I also don't know how much longer I can hold out. I've been thinking about her since this morning and have spent some very uncomfortable moments throughout the day. The only thing I could focus on was burying myself deep inside of her.

"Ok baby" I whisper and slowly slide my body over hers until my hips are nestled between her legs and I can kiss her.

Taunting us both, I take her lips hard and fast but don't thrust my hips even though hers seek mine. Anna angles her head and returns my ferocity with her own lips. Her nails are digging into my back, surely leaving marks, and it turns me on even more. Our tongues duel, joist and parry, over and over. I can't wait any more. I feel like the whole day has been foreplay.

Reaching between us, I test her first and she's definitely ready so I position myself and thrust. Anna cries out and her hips push against mine in answer. It almost kills me but I hold deep inside of her. She's wet, hot and tight. I want to savor the moment but she won't let me. Her hips begin to pull and push against mine. The friction is too much so, propping myself up on my elbows to hold up my weight, I set a steady pace that Anna matches after a moment.

Knowing that it drives her crazy, I kiss her neck to her ear and then bite at her lobe. I feel the pain of her nails digging deeper in my back and I nip harder. She cries out and our pace increases. I'm breathing heavy and fast as is Anna. I know that I'm close, too close, so I reach between us and rub at her clit a few times. That does it and she stiffens and lets go. I follow her.

When I finally regain consciousness, I realize that I'm lying on top of her with my entire weight. I try to push up but Anna holds me fast with her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my hips. I can feel something radiating from her, it's definitely emotion but I can't really identify exactly what.

"You are incredible" I whisper and kiss under her ear.

"You are" she says. Her voice is filled with that emotion too. "I've never felt this" she pauses for a moment. "This intensity before."

I pull up enough so that I can see her face. Her eyes are wide and wondrous, she bites her lip and turns pink again.

"You're pretty incredible yourself" I reply and kiss her lips.

She clings and deepens the kiss. Clearly she needs something right now but I'm not sure what so I let her take the lead. The problem is that we had a 'full' day yesterday, I had practice this morning and a game tonight. I might just embarrass myself and fall asleep during this kiss.

"Can I stay the night?" I whisper against her lips.

When I open my eyes she's smiling up at me.

"Yes please" she replies and smiles.

She's the cutest thing.


	17. Chapter 17

Anna

I quietly dress and watch Sid sleep. I could use a few more hours myself but I really need to get into work. There are a few things that I didn't finish last night so that I could be here with Sid and I need to get it all done before this day's craziness begins. There's a practice today but no game. Sid usually arrives at Consol at 9:30am so I set my alarm clock to give him time to get there.

I slip out of the bedroom and get our wine glasses from the living. It was a waste of a really good wine since we didn't drink it but the reason we didn't drink it brings a smile to my face. Thankfully I have fruit and orange juice in my fridge so Sid can grab something to eat before he heads to practice. He'll have his breakfast there of course but I want him to be able to have something here if he wants it.

Sid's phone is on the coffee table so I send him a message from my phone and wait for the answering buzz from his. When it's done vibrating, I sneak back into the bedroom and leave it on the side table beside where Sid is sleeping. His beauty makes me catch my breath. How can one man be so incredibly beautiful and it's inside and out too? Before I throw all of my best intentions out the window, I quickly leave the bedroom and the apartment.

It's still dark out as I drive to Consol. Most of the interns went out for a drink last night so I'm sure I'll be the only one in the office this early. Between my regular job and helping Geno with his charity, I have more on my plate than I thought I would but I love every minute of it. It could be that I simply love being useful. I love being depended on for my brain and what I can do rather than smiling and spouting the talking points de jour. I quickly push back the little voice that reminds me I'm playing with fire while I'm playing with Sid. I'm tired of making the right decisions at the right time for the right reasons. I threw caution to the wind last spring when I met Sid. 'And you know how that turned out' my subconscious says and I immediately ignore her. I'm with Sid now and that's all that matters to me.

I greet the guards as I walk into building and quickly make my way to my desk. I enjoy the quiet for a moment before digging into all the things I need to do. Hours go by without my noticing.

I'm startled when I hear a groan beside me. Adam leans against my desk, holds his head in his hands and massages his temples. He is clearly hurting.

"Have a good time last night?" I ask him.

"Clearly" he groans. "Too much. Next time you must come with us and save me from myself."

"So that's my job? I'm your babysitter?"

"Don't be snotty" he tells me sarcastically. "My head can't take it this morning. Did you have a good rest last night?"

I purse my lips before my smile shows and say "yeah. It was good to spend the evening at home in my own bed."

"And whose bed have you been in that you needed to be in your own last night?"

Caught. Yikes.

"It's a figure of speech Adam. I curled up with a glass of wine in my own bed and savoured the comfort."

He accepts my lie easily and continues onto his own desk. My phone buzzes.

'Thanks for setting the alarm, wish I woke to you instead' Sid sends me a text.

'Did you want to get up at 6am with me?'

'Ok, no' and he adds a winky-face.

'There's juice and fruit in the fridge' I tell him.

'Thanks. Mind if I grab a shower?'

'Sure, go ahead, towels under the sink'

'Thanks, see you later'

'x'

After sending him a kiss, I turn back to my computer and review the schedule for the day. I see an email from Geno with his brother's information so I send it and some background on the situation to my dad's deputy chief of staff. We always got along and I've never felt like he was nice to me because he thought he had to be. He'll help me with some information. When that's done, I head down to ice level. I want to see if the Trib guy is in. He wants to do an interview with Geno and I need to know what he's going to focus on in the article.

When I get downstairs, I'm surprised to see Mario. He's in shorts and a tee shirt and has clearly been working out.

"Anna, nice to see you" he tells me.

"You too Mario" I reply. It's so hard to call him Mario. My southern manners recoil from not calling him Mr. Lemieux.

"How are you settling in?"

"Good" I tell him. "Great actually. I'm really learning a lot."

"That's the purpose of an internship, so good. Everyone taking good care of you?"

I'm a little confused by his question. Why would anyone need to take care of me? Maybe he's asking because he feels he needs to look out for me.

"Um, yeah, everyone has been really great."

"I hope Sid hasn't been too much bother. I asked him to look out for you and make sure you have everything you need. It can be hard to be in a new city, with a new job and all by yourself."

I'm stunned. I'm not even conscious of what I say back to Mario or what he replies but he continues toward the locker room and I'm left speechless.

Mario asked Sid to 'look out for me'? Is that the only reason that Sid talked to me, is with me? I knew it was too good to be true. There is no other reason for Sid to be with someone like me unless he had to do it. How could I be so stupid? Again! God, I should have stayed away from him. I should have told him I wasn't interested and focused on my job. Instead, I let myself be carried away by some fantasy that Sidney Crosby would want me. Again!

The tears gather in my eyes and I know that I can't control them. I was caught completely unawares, stunned by what Mario said and what Sid did and I feel so stupid for acting like a love sick school girl.

I wipe a tear from my cheek and look to see if anyone has come into the hall. No one in front of me but, when I turn around, there is Geno. At first he smiles and looks like he's about to say something. Then he notices my tears and how upset I am. This is so completely unprofessional and my embarrassment is compounded by Geno seeing me.

I wave, give him a watery smile and then quickly walk down a hall in the opposite direction. I see an empty room and duck into what appears to be a supply room. I lean against the wall and try to control the tears. It's entirely my fault too. If I had just followed my plan and focused on my job then I wouldn't be embarrassed and crying in a supply room.

"Anna?" I hear as the door opens.

Oh shit, it's Geno. He must have followed me here. My embarrassment turns to mortification and I pray for the floor to open and swallow me up.

"You ok?" Geno asks.

My defenses elude me. I can't pull myself together, no matter how hard I try, so I give up and completely break down. I'm only partially aware of Geno coming into the room and pulling me into his arms. Part of me dies that he's seeing me this way. Another part of me is desperate for the comfort and that's the part that encircles his waist with my arms.

Geno holds me close and awkwardly pats my back. His calm if gawky demeanor comforts me when I thought nothing could. It takes some time but my sobs subside, my breathing evens and I can finally pull away from him. I notice toilet paper on the shelf and use that to wipe up my eyes and nose.

"You ok?" Geno asks me.

Finally, I look him in the eye and see that he's really worried.

"I'm so sorry Geno. This was incredibly unprofessional and I can't believe that I did it. I'm so, so sorry Geno" I tell him.

"No problem for me" he says. "But what's wrong."

Just thinking about Mario asking Sid to `take care of' me and how stupid I've been brings fresh tears to my eyes but I manage to stop them from spilling over.

"You can talk to me" Geno tells me earnestly.

"It's not something that I can really talk about Geno. Thank you so much though. I'm sorry I cried all over you."

"Whoever it is, I beat up" he tells me and flexes his arm.

It makes me laugh, as he intended, and I feel better. I still hate that he saw me this way but he doesn't look mad so I guess it will be ok.

"That better" he tells me. "Come."

He holds the door open for me and I leave the room. We walk down the hall together in comfortable silence. At the threshold to the player's lounge, Geno stops and turns to me.

"You ok?" he asks.

I smile at him, a genuine one this time, and he smiles back.

"Good" he says.

I smile at him and then see Sid over his shoulder. There is no time to control my reaction to seeing Sid. I'm sad and mad but, underneath it all, I feel incredibly hurt. Geno notices the change in me and looks where my eyes just were looking. I can see the surprise when he sees Sid and then looks between us. It's too much for me to take so I make an excuse to leave and rush to the elevator.

As the doors close to take me up to the offices, I watch Geno walk directly to Sid and start talking to him. I don't know what he's saying.

Sidney

"What the fuck you do?" Geno demands when he's in front of me.

I've never seen him this pissed off directed at me. Usually it's about hockey and on the ice or in the locker room.

"What are you talking about G?" I ask him.

He looks around and sees some of the guys piling up their plates with breakfast.

"This way" Geno says and heads down a hall.

At the end of the hallway, Geno turns to me and repeats himself.

"What the fuck you do?" he asks.

"G, I still don't know what you're talking about."

"What you do to Anna?"

Now I'm really confused. Anna looked upset when I saw her with Geno in the lounge but she disappeared quickly and Geno grabbed me before I could see what was wrong.

I woke up this morning in her bed after a great night's sleep with both my body and mind refreshed. She left me a text apologizing for having to leave but told me to make myself at home. The few texts we exchanged were flirty and she seemed fine. Now I have Geno looking ready to fight me and asking what I did to Anna and she looked, well, devastated. Does he know about us? Is Anna upset about something I did and told him? What could I have done in the last hour to get her this upset?

I put that aside for now. I have a very angry Russian in front of me to deal with right now.

"What would I have done?" I ask him.

"Don't know. She cried on me, wouldn't say what's wrong then she saw you and got more sad. So, what you did?"

She cried on Geno? Clearly she's really upset and I'm responsible but she went to Geno for comfort? What the fuck is going on?

"I don't know what I did G. Honestly. What is she upset about?" I ask.

I should avoid a conversation about Anna with him but I need to know what's wrong.

"Don't know. Wouldn't say" he tells me. "You hurt her?"

"I don't know G, really."

"You need to say sorry." He turns to leave but then turns back to me. "You with her?"

Oh fuck. Now what do I say? Clearly Anna hasn't told him but he's figured it out.

"I Russian, bad English, not stupid" he tells me.

I can't deny it. He already knows. And he's pissed.

"Yeah, we started seeing each other" I tell him.

"So what you do?" he demands.

"I don't know G. Everything was ok this morning and then I got here and saw her with you, upset" I answer. "How upset was she G?"

Part of me doesn't want to know the answer but part of me knows that I have to find out so that I can fix it.

"She cry, hard Sid."

Fuck.

"Ok, thanks" I tell him. "Please don't say anything Geno. She could lose her job if anyone finds out about us."

"Maybe someone know" he says.

Shit. Maybe he's right. I look at my watch and I'm late to warm up for practice. This is why I don't have relationships during the season; drama and complications.

"I hope not" I tell him. "Look, I need to change and warm up. I'll talk to her later and figure it out. Thanks for helping me."

"Not you. Help Anna. You say sorry and fix" he tells me like he's her older brother.

He's kind of scary right now too so I agree with him and we both go back to the lounge.

It takes a lot of effort but I put this morning's drama out of my mind and focus on practice. Thankfully, it's lighthearted since we're on a winning streak. I can't avoid thinking of Anna afterward when I'm in the locker room and waiting for the media. I catch a glimpse of her smiling and walking in with one of the Trib guys but then she's obscured by everyone surrounding me.

I answer the questions thrown at me and Jen must realize that I'm not in the mood for the media because she cuts it off quickly. When she asks if I'm ok, I simply tell her that I am and start taking off my gear. I want to jump up and grab Anna but there are too many people around right now. It kills me to see her laughing at something Geno says but is stay at my locker.

After my shower, I text Anna but she doesn't respond. I give up and call her but she sends me directly to voice mail.

"Who is she?" Flower asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask back.

"That much time on your phone and that expression on your face adds up to woman trouble. Who is she?"

"It's not a woman" I tell him. "I have interviews scheduled and I'd rather do anything but right now."

I'm surprised that I can lie so easily and feel a little bit guilty. I don't like lying to my friends but I need to protect Anna even if she is pissed at me right now.

"Better you than me mon ami" Flower says and leaves the room.

I have no reason to go up to the offices. Even if I did, I couldn't very well go up to Anna and really talk to her with everyone around.

"Hi Sid, great practice" Meagan purrs at me and touches my arm.

All of the guys know who Meagan is. Most of us know the type and stay far, far away from her. Some of the younger guys, or the ones desperate for sex, know her very well. Unfortunately, she doesn't take the hint that I want nothing to do with her and is constantly bugging me.

"Thanks" I tell her and turn to leave.

She touches my arm again and asks "what are you doing today?"

I look and she runs her fingers down thee V of her blouse and pulls it slightly to the side to show off more of her breasts. Seriously? Obvious much?

"I have interviews" I say and leave quickly so she can't stop me again.

I take care of errands the rest of the day thinking the whole time about Anna. I replay the evening and morning over and over in my head. What could have possibly happened? I can't figure it out. I get some take out for dinner and park in front of Anna's building. She parks underground so I won't see her car come in but I know which windows are hers and I can wait to see the lights go on.

I wait and wait and wait. We have practice tomorrow but no game thank God. When it's past 11pm, I begin to worry. Did she come home early and I missed her? Was she in an accident? I start calling her phone but she doesn't pick up. At midnight, I grab my phone to call the police when a cab pulls up to her apartment building and I see Anna get out. She weaves a bit as she walks to the door so I jump out of my car and meet her before she tips over at the front door.

"Anna!" I say and grab her arms to keep her upright. "Are you ok?"

"Don't touch me!" she shouts and tries to move out of my arms. "I don't need you no matter what Mario thinks."

What the fuck?

Her keys fall on the ground and Anna tips precariously as she tries to pick them up. Her skirt rises high and gives me a glimpse of naked thigh above her stockings. Sure enough she does tip over and I catch her in time before she face plants into the sidewalk. I pick up Anna, and her keys, and walk into the atrium. The doorman notices us, comes running to the second door and opens it for us.

"Miss Stanton, are you ok?"

The problem is that Anna has passed out now. Thankfully, this is the same doorman who I saw the last couple of times I was here.

"She's had a little too much to drink" I tell the man. "She'll be ok. I'll get her up to her apartment and take care of her."

He looks skeptical for a moment and then gestures me to go ahead of him to the elevator. Once I'm inside, he bids us goodnight and the doors close.

As we rise to her floor, I look at Anna and wonder what she meant about what Mario said and not needing me. For the life of me, I can't figure it out but it's probably why she was so upset this morning.

It takes a little doing to hold her and unlock her door but I manage it and go directly to her bedroom. Gently I place her on the bed and then turn on her bedside lamp. I watch Anna settle into the pillows and debate what I should do. She has to work tomorrow so I don't want to leave her like this but she's also pretty pissed at me even though I don't know why. Oh fuck it.

I slip off her shoes and then her jacket. Anna barely moves the whole time I'm undressing her. She groans once or twice and mumbles unintelligibly but I keep going. I can't control my body's reaction when I take off her blouse and skirt. She looks so fucking hot lying in her bra, panties and stockings. I remove her stockings but don't trust myself to take off her bra so I move the decorative pillows and manage to get her under the sheet and comforter.

She's going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow. I go into the bathroom and start rummaging around her drawers and cabinet looking for aspirin. Finding some, I take a couple out, fill a glass with water and go back into the bedroom. She's either going to puke these up or they'll help with the hangover.

"Anna, come on, wake up for just a minute baby."

She mumbles but doesn't open her eyes. I try again but she's truly out for the count so I leave the water and the pills on the bedside table and wonder what I should do. Finally I decide that I can't leave her alone like this even if she is pissed with me.

I undress and climb into the bed beside her in my boxer briefs leaving the light on low in case she wakes. She will probably be really pissed that I'm here but I can't leave. Setting my phone alarm for the morning, I get comfortable and, surprisingly, fall asleep quickly.

"Oh God" I hear and the bed shifts.

It takes me a few minutes to realize where I am and what's going on. It's not a hotel. I look around and notice that it's Anna's bedroom and it's still dark outside only Anna isn't beside me. Noise from the bathroom tells me that she's currently in there puking. Once again, I'm unsure what to do. If we'd been dating longer then I might know what to do but I don't want to invade her privacy so I stay in the bed.

I hear the toilet flush and the water running in the sink for a while. More time passes before the door opens and Anna comes out in a robe I noticed behind her bathroom door earlier. She's clearly washed her face, her hair is piled on top of her head, and she's holding said head while she grimaces at me. I watch as she walks to a dresser, pulls out a shirt and shorts and disappears back into the bathroom again. This time it doesn't take her long to return in the shirt and yoga shorts.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her softly.

"Like I drank too much" is her reply.

"There are some aspirin and a glass of water" I point to the bedside table.

"Thanks" she uses both.

It quickly becomes very awkward between us with Anna standing beside the bed and me in it bare chested and leaning against the headboard. Should I offer to leave now that I know she's ok? Is she ok now?

"I stayed to make sure you were ok. You literally passed out and didn't wake up" I tell her.

"Last thing I remember is seeing you running up to me at the front door."

"That's about the time you passed out."

"Oh."

More awkward silence. Fuck.

"Do you want me to go?" I ask her.

She bites her bottom lip and I can tell that she's considering what to do. We really need to talk in the morning so that I can figure out what's wrong; but, that's the morning. Right now, I just want to sleep.

"No, it's ok Sid. Let's just get some sleep."

I give her a small smile and say "ok."

She turns off the lamp and gets into bed. I don't think we could be further away from each other in this bed and I can still feel the awkwardness but, eventually, I do fall asleep.

Instinctively, I reach out for my phone when the alarm goes off. Quickly, I wake and notice a few things. First, I'm still at Anna's house and in Anna's bed. Second, Anna is currently lying in my arms. Third, I may only be noticing now that Anna's in my arms but parts of my body have known for a while now based on how hard I am.

Anna snuggles closer as I turn off my alarm. I can feel the moment she wakes up because she stiffens in my arms and then slowly moves back to her own pillow. I turn so that we are lying facing each other. The aspirin must have helped because I don't see pain in her eyes of a headache. She is pale and has dark circles under her eyes but otherwise they are clear.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her.

"Better than I probably deserve" she replies.

I take a deep breath and then ask the question I've been holding since yesterday.

"Can we talk about why you're so mad at me?"


	18. Chapter 18

Anna

For a brief moment, I snuggle into Sid's arms and enjoy the early morning until everything that happened yesterday comes flooding back to me and I move away from hi. Mario saying he asked Sid to look after me, embarrassing myself by crying on Geno, agreeing with Adam to join him for a drink at a karaoke bar and then puking last night and finding Sid in my bed. I'm not completely sure how I got from the cab to the bed but I'm assuming that Sid took care of me.

"Can we talk about why you're so mad at me?" Sid asks as we lie in bed facing each other.

"What makes you think I'm mad at you?" I ask and try to buy myself some time to think through how I want to answer his question.

Sid raises and eyebrow and gives me a 'come on' look. Yeah, it was pretty obvious that I was mad at him.

"Ok, I was mad" I admit.

"And" he replies.

Ok, I guess I've passed out on the guy, he's put me to bed and heard me puke. I owe him the truth.

"Is the only reason we're together because Mario asked you to look after me?" I ask.

At first Sid looks confused and like he has no idea what I'm talking about.

"What makes you think that?" he asks.

"I saw Mario yesterday morning and he told me."

He continues to look confused and I can tell that he's thinking. A few moments later, his mouth shapes into an 'O'.

"At the beginning of the season, Mario asked if I'd check in with you because your dad and he are friends."

My heart drops. So it's true.

"But" he continues. "That's not why I'm here with you. He didn't ask me to sleep with you, or date you, or any of the other things we've done. He asked if I'd check in with you and make sure that you were getting on ok in a new place and a new job."

"Oh" I reply. "Would we be here if he hadn't?"

"I don't know Anna. I'm not a fortune teller so there's no way that I could know; but, I see it like he introduced us and we took it from there."

It makes sense I guess.

"Is that what you thought? Did you think I'm only with you because of what Mario asked me to do?" Sid asks me.

He raises his hand, cups my cheek and his thumb gently caresses.

"When we met at the end of last year" I tell him. "You were drunk and I was devastated and needed to feel like someone wanted me. I was an available woman and you were drunk so it's easy to see why you wanted me then, but now" I trail off and shrug.

"I don't understand why you think so little of yourself Anna. I don't get it."

How do I explain something to Sid that is so far out of his experience? He's always been the best at what he does. How could he understand that I've always been second best to my sister and never lived up to the expectations placed on me by my mother? That I've never felt truly loved and am I so desperate for love that I'm willing to risk everything to be with this man who I have no business being with?

"Talk to me Anna."

"I don't know what to tell you. You want to get to know me? This is who I am. I'm good with projecting what others want to see or need me to be, I've done it all my life, just never quite good enough. The expectations placed on my shoulders have been crushing me slowly since I was born."

He frowns at me but doesn't move away. I think I'm holding my breath while I wait for him to say something, anything.

"I'm sorry Anna but I still don't understand it. I've dealt with the same thing my whole life. Expectations to be the best, to carry a team or a country on my back. I'm probably one of the few people in the world that can understand the heavy weight of expectations and, while it's never easy, I don't understand the your point of view."

I pull away suddenly and sit up. I think it's so easy to see.

"Sid, of course you don't understand. You've met or exceeded everyone's expectations. You saved this franchise, you won two gold medals, everyone says that you're the best in the world and they've been saying it for all your years in the NHL. From what I understand, your parents, your sister, even Mario, have always been there to love and accept you. You don't know what it's like to never fully live up to other's expectations of you. The constant disappointment from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. Over time, it kills something inside of you. The weight of underachieving weighs down on your shoulders. It becomes unbearable."

I finish on a sob. I don't know where all of that came from but I feel the dam break inside of me and everything purges out. I can't even see Sid through all of the tears in my eyes but I do feel him sit up and pull me into his arms.

I have no idea how much time goes by as I sob in Sid's arms. The stress of the last twenty four hours, the lack of sleep and the horrible hangover contribute to my raw emotions. Eventually I feel my heart rate slow and become conscious of Sid's bare warm chest beneath my cheek, his hands holding me tight to him and his arms wrapping me in his warmth.

I continue to act on instinct and turn my head so that I can leave a kiss lightly over his heart. When I look up at Sid, he kisses one cheek and then the other, kissing away my tears.

"I'd say that was a long time coming" he tells me and he raises his hands to wipe away the rest of my tears.

"Yeah" I reply.

We sit that this, in each other's arms, with comfortable silence surrounding us.

"Do you think that little of me? Actually, do you really think that little of yourself?" he asks me. I don't answer him because I don't know what to say. "Put all of the bull shit aside Anna and you are a beautiful, smart, funny, sexy as hell woman. Why wouldn't I want to be with you?"

He seems to have knocked down all of my defenses because I answer honestly.

"Because nobody else has."

For a moment Sid looks very sad.

"Anna, I'm with you because I want to get to know you better. I like spending time with you and enjoy everything we do together." He wiggles his eyebrows when he says 'everything'. "You need to trust me Anna" he tells me softly. "I won't hurt you, I promise that I'll never hurt you like you've been hurt before."

I want to believe him. I'm desperate to believe him. Pushing all reason from my brain, I listen only to my heart and speak with that in mind.

"I'll trust you Sid. I promise that I'll trust you."

He searches my eyes for a few moments and must like what he sees because he smiles.

"Good" he replies. Sid looks behind me and says "it's 7am. When do you need to get to the office?"

Shit!

"It's 7am? Oh my God, I have to get out of here."

I leap out of bed and run into the bathroom. Stripping, I shower and take care of everything else quickly. Hair up, make up on, I run out of the bathroom and find Sid sitting on my bed. He's been busy because my bed is made, he's dressed and holding a glass of orange juice and coffee holding both up to me.

I take the coffee and a drink deeply. The caffeine should kick in soon but just the taste moves out the remaining cobwebs in my head. Sid drinks the orange juice.

I dress as quickly as I did everything else and gulp down the rest of the coffee.

"I'm so sorry" I tell Sid and kiss him lightly. "I have to get into the office. Shit!"

At the last minute I remember that my car is parked at Consol and I took a cab home after drinking too much. A glance at my watch shows me how late I am and waiting for a cab will take forever.

"You don't have your car here, do you?" he asks and I shake my head. "Come on. I'll drive you."

He stands and turns to leave. I stop him and say "thank you. For taking care of me last night, for driving me in this morning and for" I gesture to the bed. "For everything."

"You're welcome" he tells me and kisses me softly.

He takes the coffee cup and glass to the kitchen while I gather my purse. As we leave the apartment, he takes my hand and we stay that way until we're at his car. Once inside, he heads to Consol.

"I didn't think the office staff got in until after 9am" he tells me.

"That's right but I need to be in earlier. I have the same responsibilities as the other interns but I also have everything for Geno. I like to get in before 8am."

"Oh, that's horrible. Before 8am?"

I watch his nose crinkle as he says this. It's so cute.

We don't discuss it but I know Sid is keeping in mind that we don't want to be seen together like this because he pulls into the garage rather than dropping me off out front.

He puts the car in park when he's next to mine and turns to me.

"Can we get together tonight?" he asks me.

Inspired, I say "why don't you come to my house for dinner?"

He smiles widely and asks "are you going to cook?"

"Yes" I tell him.

"Then hell yes."

He kisses me softly twice and then I get out of the car. I know that I have a huge smile on my face and I'm humming as I walk into the building. It's going to be a great day.

Sidney

I tried to keep it light as we left Anna's apartment and I drove her to Consol but, as I drove to my house and even now as I shower, I'm blown away at the negative opinion that Anna has of herself. It's a rare peek at who she truly is, deep inside, where she doesn't let most people in and it is a very complicated place.

Doubt creeps into my brain. Do I really want to deal with all of this baggage during the season, especially a really important season, with so many new players and a completely new coaching and management staff? I've avoided relationships during the season every year for a reason. Even if I've had a girlfriend, she knows that she won't be hearing from me or seeing me regularly. If she made more demands than that, well, then it was over.

I have missed so much time in the prime of my career with injury and I've worked so hard to play at the highest level and achieve my dreams. Can I risk it for a girl I don't know I have a future with? Instinctively, I know that Anna would be worth it but, right now? I'm already tied up in knots over a misunderstanding based on something Mario said. Maybe it's best that I learned this about her insecurities now.

Then my subconscious asks 'learned what? That she has self-doubt? That she feels the constant pressure to be someone she's not or the perfect version of herself? Doesn't sound familiar at all huh?'

Apparently my subconscious is sarcastic.

I hear my phone so I finish up in the shower, dry off and wrap a towel around my waist. The phone is in the bedroom and I smile when I see that it's a text from Anna.

'Thanks again for taking care of me last night' she texts.

It's odd how different everything can be in just twenty four hours. Yesterday morning she was upset and Geno was pissed at me. This morning, Anna is thanking me and Geno, shit, I'm going to have to pull him aside this morning and make sure that he's ok too. Hopefully he'll see how happy Anna is and know that we made up. It's nice that he feels that protective over her but, not for the first time, I wonder why. Is it just a brotherly concern or does he have feelings for her that have nothing to do be being a big brother?

'You're welcome' I text back. 'I'm looking forward to dinner'

'Come hungry'

'Oh, I am'

She sends back a winky face and a kiss. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

It doesn't take me long to finish at home and get back to Consol. I keep a look out for Geno as I walk through the lounge greeting the guys. He's not here yet of course. Geno has been on time more often since Anna started but he's still Geno 'the tardy'.

"Sid!"

I turn when I hear my name and I'm surprised to find G calling me looking serious. It seems that he wants to address this right away which works well for me too. We can't have any weirdness on the ice and it's crucial that we either deal with it or let it go before getting on the ice. I follow Geno as he walks down a deserted hallway.

"So?" he asks.

"So what?" I think he wants to talk about Anna but want him to confirm that first. Even in this situation, I hate talking about my personal life.

"Did you make it right for Anna?" he asks.

"Yeah G, we talked and everything is ok."

He looks skeptical and asks "sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You with her still?" he asks.

Now I really wonder what is going on with him. Is he asking because he's interested? Is he checking if the path is clear for him to make a move on her?

"Yeah, I am" I tell him and then decide to go for it. "Is that a problem?"

He looks surprised that I asked and then unsure for a moment. My mind runs in a million directions wondering why he seems unsure.

"No" he says finally. "No problem if you no upset her."

This doesn't completely assuage my concerns so I ask "Geno, are you interested in Anna?" He looks confused so I continue. "In dating her G, are you interested?"

Now he laughs and it's full, head thrown back, hand on his stomach laughter that takes a few moments to settle down.

"No Sid" he finally says. "She like little sister."

I let go of the breath that I didn't realize I was holding and instantly feel better.

"Good" I tell him.

"But you don't hurt her again."

I almost laugh but notice that he's serious. I guess he really is looking out for her.

"No, I won't G" I tell him.

It's almost comical the way he nods once and then walks back to the lounge. I have to admit that I'm a little afraid of him right now. There is a Russian mafia, right?

Back in the lounge, I get myself breakfast and join some of the guys. Tanger and Flower are competing for the cutest kid pictures. Of course Duper stirs the pot by saying that Tanger's son and Flower's daughter could date when they're old enough. Flower immediately tells Tanger to keep Alex far away from Stella, in French of course, and even those who don't understand French start laughing. It's pretty clear what's going on.

Someone mentions the time and most of us leave to get changed and warm up for practice. Mike is very fond of wind sprints so we all need to be ready for the last fifteen minutes of ice time. In all likelihood we'll be skating until we're ready to puke. It won't be the first time or the last I'm sure but you don't see it a lot in the pros. We only have a specified amount of time on the ice so coaches don't usually spend it on conditioning. I sometimes wonder if Mike forgets that this is the NHL and not the AHL.

We have a high energy practice with a lot of time spent on special teams. It seems to be coming together primarily because the guys are totally bought into Tocchet as the PP coach. Mike observes, has short conversations with Tocch and then goes back to watching again. They want me along the half wall which is mostly new for me. I'm used to being down low and, even though coaches try new things, that's where I'm most comfortable and that's where they usually let me play.

As predicted, the last fifteen minutes of practice is skating wind sprints using cones and then lines in the ice. I've never understood wind sprints myself. Sure, they show the coaches who's close to game shape and who's not but you see that in a game anyway. Besides, we're all pros and should know by now what game shape looks like and how to prepare for it. At some point you just need to play to get your legs and lungs where they need to be.

After practice, I stay out on the ice with Tanger to practice tip-ins while most of the other guys leave the ice. A few of the young D skate with Agnew at the other end while Tanger shoots pucks by me. After we exhaust the current pile of pucks, we both chase them to create another pile and I feel an itch at the back of my neck. There are always people watching practice and, unless it's a closed practice, there will usually be people that I don't know and I can usually ignore them. The itch doesn't fade so I casually glance up in the stands and immediately know who it is.

Anna sits about twenty rows up with one of the other interns, a guy, who I've seen her with before. Our eyes lock briefly and then we both look away. I get back in position to take the tips from Tanger excited that Anna is watching.

"Ok Sid, gotta go" Tanger says so I nod.

We gather up the pucks and leave the ice together.

"Taking Alex to an indoor playground after lunch" Tanger tells me.

"What's an indoor playground?" I ask.

"Just what you think it would be. Instead of going to a playground outside, you can take the kids to one inside and it has the same equipment and more. There's things to climb, games like tee ball, slides."

"That sounds cool" I reply.

"Yeah, he loves it and, with today's rain, Catherine is going crazy keeping him inside all day."

We're the last ones to get into the locker room so I only have time to remove my helmet and put on my cap before the media comes in. There are lots of questions about the sprints and the power play. We don't play today and it's only the beginning of the season so there isn't much else to discuss.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Anna sitting beside Geno reviewing something on her tablet. She points to it and they both laugh. When Anna laughs, she shifts and her skirt rides up higher over her crossed legs and her breasts push and pull at the buttons of her blouse. Very quickly, I get uncomfortable in my cup and force myself to look away. Tonight can't come soon enough for me.

When I come out of the change room, freshly showered, I see the back of Anna as she turns a corner and down a hall. There's no one paying attention to me so I quickly follow after her and catch up down another hallway where I grab her arm and pull her into an empty room.

"What" is all Anna can say before my lips cover hers and I push her against the wall. Her surprise changes and she catches up quickly. Anna's hands grab my shoulders and pull me closer so that my leg pushes against her core. The moan that escapes her lips has me harden, instantly, and I begin to rethink my actions. A quick kiss isn't going to be enough.

I slide my hands down to her hips and lift one of her legs to wrap around my hip. This gives me even greater access to grind against her. Anna gasps, freeing my lips and I trail them down to the soft, warm skin of her neck. Her hips tilt, I push harder and capture her lips with mine again. I'm quickly losing all rational thought. Any semblance of restraint is gone when my fingers travel up her thigh, under her skirt, and I find warm, bare flesh above her stockings.

I dip at my knees and push up with my hips. The friction is incredible and I'm desperate for more. One of Anna's hands has fallen from my shoulders and lies on my hip. As I kiss her again, I take her hand and slide it over the front of my jeans. It's my turn to groan when I rub her hand over my erection; unfortunately, instead of finding relief, I become desperate for more and push into her hand. I notice immediately that Anna stiffens and it's like a bucket of cold water washes over me.

Pulling back from Anna, I take deep breaths and look at her. She is also breathing deeply but now she's pale.

"I'm sorry" I tell her. "I just meant to kiss you and, um, I guess I got carried away."

Anna gives me a weak smile and straightens her skirt.

"Yeah" she replies softly.

Something is off. I watch as she pulls herself together but there is still something off.

"You said you'd trust me" I tell her softly. "What's going on?"

Anna takes a deep breath, lets it out, and then takes another one.

"Ok, I do Sid" she tells me but can't look me in the eye. "It's just that I've never, I mean that I've never" she stops talking but gestures with her hand down to my waist.

I don't know if I'm being particularly dense today but I don't get it. She's never done, what? I look down and see my erection. Oh! She's never touched a guy's dick? But she's not a virgin. I look up and she's turned from pale white to bright red. How can this girl be so innocent and so unbelievably hot at the same time? All I can think about is pushing her up against that wall again and finish what we started so I take a step back.

"Oh" I say, brilliantly.

Anna clasps her hands and begins worrying her fingers. God, I keep forgetting that she's inexperienced.

"It's ok Anna" I tell her. "I'm glad you told me. Um, why don't we put this on hold until dinner tonight? We can talk then, ok?"

She looks up at me hesitantly so I lean down and kiss her thoroughly but quickly. When I finish our kiss, I stay close to her and rub her nose with my own. She smiles finally and I know that we're ok.

"Ok" she says softly.

"Ok" I reply. "You go first, I'm going to need a few minutes here to collect myself."

She giggles and kisses my cheek before leaving the room. I'm in so deep.


	19. Chapter 19

Anna

"That was delicious" Sid pushes back from the table and wipes his mouth. "I'll say this about you; wow can you cook."

I know that I'm grinning but I can't help it. Since Sid came in the door, I've been smiling and it feels good. It's like we turned a corner this morning when we talked. I was concerned that there would be some weirdness from our 'encounter' after practice. My embarrassment hung onto me for the rest of the morning until I got too busy to think about it. If I was going to go grocery shopping and make dinner before Sid arrived, I had to focus on finishing my to-do list so that I could get out of the office at a reasonable time. I even managed to grab a shower and change before Sid arrived.

"Seriously, you can really cook" Sid tells me.

"Thanks. I love to do it but don't get to enough. Time is hard to find and it's not really enjoyable to cook for one person."

"Well you can cook for me anytime."

I know that I'm blushing so I grab some of the dishes and head into the kitchen. Sid follows me with his own dishes. Even though I tell him that he doesn't have to help, he insists on clearing and then begins to stack the dishwasher while I wash the pots. We talk about little things that happened in our day. Sid had errands to run in the afternoon like dry cleaning and I tell him about helping Geno's foundation organization a special event. It feels like we're any couple simply sharing our day with each other.

When we're finished, I take out the berries and the mint whipped cream I made earlier. Sid grabs a blueberry before I can dish them out and I slap at his hand without thinking. With his quick reflexes, he grabs my wrist and kisses my fingers then licks off a bit of whip cream. Something deep inside of me responds to his lips and tongue on my fingers. I never thought of myself as a sexual person before. Sure, I often enjoyed sex when I had it but, with Sid, it seems that's all I think about. It makes me hope that he's going to stay the night.

When Sid releases my hand, I go back to my task and dish out the berries.

"I know you don't eat ice cream during the season but what about whip cream?" I ask him.

He picks up one of the bowls of berries and says "maybe I'll have some later."

He grins, I don't know why, and eats a strawberry. I put away the whip cream and pick up our bowls and lead the way into the living room.

"Is there a game you want to check on?" I ask. Sid opens his mouth but then pauses. "It's ok Sid. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't ok with it."

"If you don't mind" he tells me. "I want to catch some of the Rangers Habs game. We play New York tomorrow and then Montreal after that."

I turn on the TV and hand him the remote. Sid takes it, settles back against the couch bringing me with him so that I'm cuddle up at his side. Even though we each have a bowl of berries, Sid idly picks at mine while he searches for the game. When he finds it, he pulls me closer to him so that I'm half on his lap and we're both eating from my bowl. While Sid focuses on the TV, I notice that there is a gym bag by the front door. It must be Sid's and I feel excitement that he feels comfortable enough to bring a bag with him. He's staying over tonight!

When we, well when Sid, has finished the berries in my bowl, I exchange it for the one I brought out for him. Absently, Sid settles me back close to him and starts eating again. I take a few glances up at him when I know he's not looking. He is so beautiful and I still can't believe that he's here with me. Six months ago this wasn't even in the realm of possibilities in my life. Now, here we are, wow.

"What?" Sid asks.

He's looking down at me and I realize that I've been caught staring. I decide to brazen it out and force back my embarrassment.

"What, what?" I ask and try to look innocent.

Sid raises an eyebrow and tilts his head. I can't maintain and start giggling, and once I've started, I just can't stop. Every time I look at Sid, I start laughing all over again and soon he's joining in. At first, Sid laughs but soon he dissolves into giggles too. It takes us some time to settle down.

I pick up the empty bowls and take them into the kitchen.

"Do you want some more wine or some water?" I call out to Sid.

"I don't want wine or water" I hear him say behind me.

I gasp as he startles me. I didn't realize that he followed me into the kitchen. My gasp turns silent when Sid presses his body flush against mine. I can feel heat everywhere his body is touching the back of mine. All thoughts of dishes and wine and water fly out of my head. In fact, as Sid turns me around to face him, I can't seem to think a single, cogent thought. There is only feeling.

I feel his hard thighs pressing against mine. The zipper and fly of his jeans pressing into the small of my back since, without heels on, I'm much shorter than Sid.

"Do you trust me?" he whispers in my ear.

"Yes" is my immediate and breathy response.

"Good" he says and kisses me on the neck beneath my ear. "Stay here and I'll be back in a few minutes."

He kisses me again and then I hear him leave the room. It takes me a few moments to collect myself and stop shaking. The husky tone in his voice speaks directly to my core and makes me yearn like never before. I distract myself by cleaning the dessert dishes and Sid returns as I'm finishing.

I turn to ask him what he's been up to but I'm stopped before I can even open my mouth. Sid has stripped off his sweater so that he's wearing only his jeans and a fitted tee shirt. All of the saliva in my mouth dries up instantly and I'm rooted to where I stand, unable to move. As Sid stares back at me, he licks his lips and then smiles slightly. The stark desire I see in his eyes terrifies me because, for the first time in my life, I feel it too.

He holds out his hand to me and I know that, even now, he's giving me the choice. What he doesn't realize is that I've already made that choice so I quickly place my hand in his. He lifts it to his lips and my heart skips a beat. I feel like I'm in a movie or a romance novel, this moment is that surreal, and I never want it to end.

Sid laces his fingers with mine and I walk with him to my bedroom. Once there, I first notice that the light is soft and glowing from two of lamps on low. It gives the room a romantic feel. The decorative pillows usually on my bed are in a pile in the corner of the room and the comforter and sheets are pulled down. Looking beyond my bed, I see the bag Sid brought on the floor by my dresser and a package of condoms on the side table. It appears that Sid came prepared.

He pulls me with him so that we are standing beside the bed facing each other. Softly, Sid brushes the hair from my face and off of my shoulders. I almost mew when he runs his fingers through from scalp to tip. His fingers travel to my waist, take the hem of my sweater and pull it slowly up then over my head. I shiver next when he traces the swells of my breasts just above the lacy cups. I can't prevent my gasp when he brushes each nipple with the back of his knuckles. They harden instantly for him.

His fingertips trace down the bare skin of my sides to my waist where he pauses for a moment. I look up into his eyes stare directly back at me while his fingers undo my jeans and then push them down my hips until I stand only in my bra and panties.

"Now you" he says softly.

Me? What does he mean me? Sid must see my confusion.

"You can start with my shirt" he tells me.

Oh. Now it's my turn to take off his clothes. Good grief, I've had sex with him a few times now. Why am I so nervous right now?

I give myself a mental shake, ignore my nerves and grab the hem of his shirt. Slowly I push it up, my fingers trailing softly over bare skin as it's exposed, until Sid lifts his arms and I can pull it completely off. I can't take my eyes off of his perfect chest with hard muscles and soft skin.

"Keep going" he urges me.

I continue and slide my fingers into the waistband of his jeans. His eyes narrow as I open the button and the pull down the zipper. My fingers tremble when I brush against him. He's pushing so hard against the zipper that I'm surprised it hasn't opened under the pressure by itself. It takes some doing but I manage to push his jeans down. They get stuck a few times over his thighs and ass but soon they are on the floor beside mine. Now we're both standing only in our underwear.

Sid reaches up with both hands and slips the straps of my bra off of my shoulders so that they slide down to my elbows. They go no further because the cups get caught on my nipples which are hard under Sid's gaze.

He leans down, kisses my shoulder and then leaves kisses all the way up my neck until he reaches my ear.

"Touch me Anna" he whispers in my ear.

A shiver rushes through my entire body from his breath in my ear and his words. He wants me to touch him again. My fingers tingle at the thought and ache to trace over his skin; but, I'm frozen in my self-consciousness and inexperience. It doesn't matter that I just explored his body. That was spontaneous and I didn't even realize I was doing it until I was but, now that he's asked me to, I can't move. I want to be sexy and bold like the girls I'm sure he's used to but I can't seem to move. Maybe I'm just scared that I'll do something wrong now that I've had time to think about it.

Sid pulls back and, using a finger, he tilts my chin up so that I'm looking at him.

"What's wrong Anna? Talk to me."

Oh God, that's the only thing that could make this moment even more embarrassing; if I told him why I'm embarrassed.

"You said that you trust me Anna" he continues. "Tell me what's going on in the beautiful brain of yours." He kisses first one cheek, then the other and then my lips. "Talk to me baby."

It's the 'baby' that finally breaks me out of my silence.

I shut my eyes and say "I don't want to do something wrong."

I can't open my eyes. I'm scared that he'll be mad or, even worse, that he'll laugh at me. I'm startled when his lips find mine but I'm quickly caught up in his persistent lips and tongue. His hands move to my lower back and pull me hard against him. I feel his hard muscles pushing against my soft curves. I feel how hard he is against my stomach. I simple feel and my mind goes blank.

He pulls back and we're both breathless again.

With his forehead lying against mine, he says "see, your touching me now and there is definitely nothing wrong."

He's right. I didn't even realize that my hands feasted on his hair while he was kissing me and even now hold on tight. This gives me the encouragement I need to start exploring again.

First, I slide my fingers down his neck and over his shoulders. His skin is smooth and his hard muscles flex and then tremble as my fingers trail over them. Next, I move back slightly so that I can touch his chest. There are a lot of muscles here to explore. When my index finger brushes against his nipple, Sid groans and I feel it harden so I repeat the action with my other hand. He groans again and I watch as his eyes darken and narrow.

My hands explore further down his chest and I move my gaze so that I watch his beautiful body as I explore it. His middle is thick and tight, the muscles very well defined, so that his belly button is pulled almost to the point where it disappears. As I explore, I watch the muscles quiver under my fingers and hear Sid's sharp intake of breath. I'm fascinated with the effect my touch is having on his body, especially one particular part of his body. It might be because that's where my mind goes because my hands follow and brush over his shorts.

Sid quickly grabs my hands and pulls them away. My eyes find his, terrified I did something wrong. Sid closes his eyes and takes three deep breaths before opening them again and looking at me.

"If you do that, I'm really going to embarrass myself" he tells me.

Oh.

He lets go of my wrists, circles my waist and pushes me against the bed until I sit down.

"My turn" he says and licks his lips.

Oh boy.

He kneels between my legs and reaches around me with both hands to unclasp my bra then slowly pulls it off completely. Sid stares at my newly bare skin. I feel my nipples tighten and my breasts grow heavy and he hasn't even touched them yet.

"Beautiful" he whispers and leans his head down.

While his hands sit on my hips, he leaves kisses over the swells of my breasts and then licks and nips around. I'm desperate for his lips to find my nipple but he specifically ignores it. He moves to the other breast and repeats his actions. Unconsciously, my hands move to his head and I try to guide him where I desperately need his lips but he won't budge.

"Not yet" he whispers against my skin.

"Please" I know I'm begging but I don't care.

"Not yet" he repeats and his lips trail lower over my stomach.

I have a vague thought wishing my stomach was flatter but then all thoughts are gone again because he's kissing my inner thigh. Oh God, his lips and tongue leave kisses and licks up to the junction between my thighs then he leaves kisses over the cotton covering me still and repeats his kisses and licks over my other thigh.

Sid stands and my hands fall helpless to the bed as I watch him. His hands encircle my waist and he pushes me up further on the bed so that I'm lying back. He takes the edges of my panties in his hands and pulls them down, slowly, until I am completely bare and lying out on the bed for him.

Sid doesn't give me any time to be self-conscious because he pushes off his shorts and slowly climbs over my body. In the soft light of the bedroom, his skin glows and I feel my breath quicken as I look him over head to toe. He's so beautiful and he's here with me. It still boggles me.

When we are face to face, Sid asks "what do you want me to do?"

Oh God, he's doing it again, asking me questions. Why doesn't he just do what he's done before? I mean that worked well so just do it again. He's holding himself up on his elbows and waits patiently for my answer. I can't possibly do this, tell him what I want, it is just too hard; although, maybe I can …

I move my hands so that they are on his biceps, slowly slide them up to his shoulders, over his neck until I cup his cheeks and can pull him down so that our lips meet. He lets me take the lead and I know that I'm hesitant at first; but, quickly, my need takes over and tongue slides through his lips and plays with his. I tilt my head slightly to try a different angle and Sid's body shifts so that his errection pushes against me. The exquisite pleasure causes me to gasp and then bite his bottom lip.

I pull back and quickly wonder how to apologize for the bite but Sid is grinning at me, leans down and takes my bottom lip between his teeth and lips alternating between nipping and licking. It's so fucking hot. My hips tilt up and Sid rocks against me again. I pull my thighs open wider to give him better access. The friction as he shifts and rocks is exquisite and makes me desperate. My hands slide to his back and I marvel again at his hard muscles.

The next time Sid rocks, I tilt my hips up and feel his wet tip against me. I try to shift my hips so that he enters me but Sid pulls back.

"Not yet" he murmurs and kisses my neck. Unconsciously, my hips seek his again and Sid's teeth sink into my shoulder. "Bad girl" he tells me and chuckles.

It makes me want to laugh too but I'm unable to when his hand slides between us. His fingers quickly make their way between my folds and one slips quickly and easily inside of me.

"Ahhh" I cry out. Finally there is some small relief to my desperate need.

Sid slips a second finger inside of me and pumps them in and out slowly. He alternates between in and out and then around and around. Slowly he stretches and stimulates. I feel my body tremble, liquefy and break out into a sweat. He completely owns my body right now. It's his for whatever he wants to do and wherever direction he takes my pleasure.

I can feel pressure build and my legs begin to stiffen. Sid notices too because he stops moving his hand. I mew for more but he waits and waits. I feel my orgasm melt away and Sid begins to move his fingers again; in and out, around and around, in and out, around and around. Then he changes it up, pushes his fingers in as far as he can and begins to rub the walls inside of me. It feels good, really good, but I've never had a guy do that before. What is he doing?

Then he hits a specific spot and I feel such an intense pleasure it travels throughout my body simultaneously, with electricity and pressure and such intense feeling that I want to cry I'm so overwhelmed. That's the last cogent thought that I have. All I can do is feel pressure, heat, electricity, weightlessness. It's all too much. I think that I scream. There's pain in my fingers from grabbing something too hard. Then there is nothing. I simply float.

I think it takes some time before I can open my eyes and realize what just happened, where I am and who I'm with.

"Oh" I say. Brilliant.

"Oh?" Sid says and smiles.

He kisses me softly once and then again lingering this last time.

"All you have to say is 'oh'?" he asks.

I smile and say "oh my."

Now Sid throws his head back and laughs, hard.

"Ok then, 'oh my' it is" he tells me.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I ask "what was that? I've never experienced that before."

He smiles, a little shyly, and says "that Anna, was your g-spot."

"Oh" I say again.

"Indeed, oh" he repeats. "But I'm not nearly done you know?"

Right, he hasn't, um, well he hasn't. I take a couple of deep breaths and then reach between us so that I can do something for him. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but I guess it's my turn like he said before. Only he grabs my wrist again and pulls it away. Confused, I can only stare up at him.

Sidney

I've had to reply the 2008 Stanley Cup loss in my head over and over to keep from exploding for the last thirty minutes. I almost lost it when I watched wave after wave of orgasm wash over Anna but I managed to hold it together. Her inexperienced and enthusiastic touch almost put an end to all of that effort in two seconds. Unfortunately, she looks confused and maybe hurt. Damn.

"Anna" I say and kiss her lips softly. "Why don't we do that later? Right now, I'm desperate to be buried inside of you. Ok?"

I watch her brow smooth and her cheeks pink. She's just cum so hard that my hand is still wet but at my words she blushes. This mixture of wanton and shy is so fucking hot. Not for the first time I wonder if the other guys she's been with are fucking idiots.

She smiles and nods so I release her wrist and slide my body over hers. I feel the soft curves yield to my body, her thighs widen to make room for me and her lips respond when I kiss her. I begin softly, slowly coaxing her reaction. I can already tell that she's more comfortable because her fingers trail up and down my spine occasionally traveling over my ass too. Instinctively, I know that I'm losing my heart to this smart, sexy, shy, caring woman who is full of delightful dichotomies but I push that aside. I'll examine it later when I have full control of my brain.

I slide down her body and spend time on her breasts. Anna is always responsive to having her breasts played with and I briefly wonder if she could cum, like in 50 Shades, by breast stimulation alone. Anna's moan distracts me so I refocus and increase the pressure on her nipple with my teeth.

"Oh God" she cries out and her nails dig into my scalp.

I repeat the action over and over while I slide my hand between her legs. She's still soaked from her last orgasm but I want to work her up more. With two fingers, I push on her clit around the edges and she cries out again. Her entire body is soon vibrating and thank God because I might blow any minute if I can't cum soon.

Anna makes a distressed sound when I move away from her but I need to grab a condom off of the bedside table. Maybe next time she can put it on me. Right now, I don't have the time, patience or restraint to make it more than a requirement. Quickly the task is done and I'm back.

I kneel between her legs and push her thighs apart with my own positioning myself perfectly. I hold for a few seconds and take in the image in front of me. Anna is lying back against the bed with her hair draped over the bed behind her. Her breasts are full and her nipples hard. I can see the wetness glistening between her legs and I can't wait any longer.

Guiding myself, I sink slowly and deeply, laying my body over hers as I do. I love the feeling of her soft body beneath mine. I know that it isn't the most optimal position for her orgasm but the primal feel of 'my woman' beneath me is such a turn on. Pulling back just as slowly as I sunk in, I take Anna by surprise when, the next time, I thrust hard and set a fast and continually hard pace. Quickly she's panting and crying out softly and her fingers dig into the sheets.

Quickly, too quickly, I lose control and know that this won't last much longer. Rolling over, I bring Anna with me so that she's sitting astride me and I can thrust even deeper up inside of her. This position also frees up my hands and I alternate between pinching her nipples between my thumb and finger and rubbing her clit. It's the clit that brings her closer to orgasm and finally gets her there. With two more strokes, I can finally cum too, and Anna collapses on top of me.

I gently stroke her hair as our heart rates slow down. Absently, Anna draws circles on my chest with her finger. There is a peace and serenity that washes over me I don't think I've ever felt before. Or maybe it is familiar from the last time I was with Anna.

"Thank you" Anna says softly and kisses my chest.

"You're welcome" I reply. "What are you thanking me for?"

"Just everything I guess" she says and turns her face into my chest.

"Anna, I got something out of this too you know" I tease.

I can feel her smile and she kisses my chest again. The monument of the moment isn't lost on me. This is the first time that she's touched me like this without any urging from me. I shift slightly and realize that we're both sweaty and the sheets beneath us are damp.

"Why don't we have a shower?" I suggest.

She smiles and says "ok."

She sits up and reaches for the sheet to cover herself. I grab her hand before she can do so.

"Hey" I say and wait until she's looking up at me. "Don't do that. I love your body. Clearly I love your body. Please don't cover up in front of me Anna, ok? Please."

She looks thoughtful as she watches me and, finally, she nods.

"Good" I say and kiss her. I remember something and have a better idea than a shower. "Do you still have that whip cream you made for the berries?"

"Yes, are you hungry?"

"No. Give me a minute while I get it" I tell her and head off to the kitchen.

The extra calories are going to be worth it and I know exactly how we'll work them off.


	20. Chapter 20

Anna

I wake up and the first thing I notice is that my legs are sticking together when I move. Ick. The pillow beneath my head is a little crusty too. It all comes flooding back to me and I smile. How everything got sticky and crusty was certainly a lot of fun. I think Sid broke his diet with all of the whip cream he ate off of me. I'll have to run an extra mile myself. Who knew Sid could taste even better with whip cream on top.

I try to fall back to sleep but the stickiness is uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, and I can't sleep. Glancing at Sid tells me that he's not bothered by being sticky as he's sound asleep. I slip out of bed and into the bathroom. A quick shower will solve the problem.

Yuck, I even have whip cream in my hair so I'll have to wash it too. I give it a rinse but, before I can do more, I hear a knock on the door.

"Everything ok?" Sid asks through the door.

"Yeah" I tell him. "You can come in if you need to."

I hear the door open and close. Sid pushes back the shower curtain enough to stick his head in.

"Did I wake you?" I ask. "I'm sorry."

"I noticed that you were gone. Sticky?"

"Horribly" I tell him and he chuckles.

"Me too. Mind if I join you?"

I smile and step back to give him room. My shower isn't small but it certainly feels that way when Sid joins me. I'm not sure if it's his size or his presence but it feels good to have him in my space. I shift so that Sid can dunk himself under the water and I pick up the shampoo.

"Turn around" he tells me as takes the shampoo from me.

Oh my. He's going to wash my hair. I've always wondered what that would feel like, to have a man wash my hair in the shower, but I've never been in the position or had the nerve to ask.

I close my eyes as Sid begins to massage the soap into my hair. I know that I gasp and every part of my body wakes up under his sensual touch. Oh wow, this man has magic fingers regardless of where or how he touches me.

He stops and then I feel water on my head. Sid must have lifted up the shower massager to rinse the soap from my hair. He finishes and the water is gone. I try to turn around but Sid stops me.

"Stay there" he tells me. "I helped make you dirty" he nips at my ear "so I should help clean you up."

Oh my.

I feel Sid's soapy hands on my shoulders and he rubs circles down my arms, up again and under my arms. He slides his arm around me and rubs soap on my collar bone and breasts which are extremely sensitive after the fun so far tonight. I must flinch because Sid stops immediately.

"Sore?" he asks.

I don't want to say yes because I don't want him to stop; but, I shift so that I can turn and look at Sid, and I feel a twinge between my legs too. Maybe I am a little sore.

"A little" I tell him.

He leans down and kisses my lips, once, twice and then my nose.

"Ok. Let's clean up and go back to bed" he tells me.

I'm about to agree but then I notice that he's rock hard. His penis is standing straight up between us.

"Just ignore that. Come on, let's rinse you off" he tells me and reverses our positions.

I rub the soap off of my body under the water and try to build up courage. Sid and I still haven't talked about what happened in the office this morning when I pulled my hand away him. Although I'm happy not to talk about it, I know that it's something he wants and I really want to do something for him after he's treated me so beautifully.

Sid is rubbing soap over his body and I'm mesmerized for a moment watching his strong hands slide over his body. I take a couple of deep breaths and then step toward him. Sid looks at me confused when I reach for the soap. Ok, now or never. I soap up my hands, maybe a little longer than I need to, and then replace the soap on the ledge.

I start on his chest, there is already soap there but I have to start somewhere less daunting. Sid's eyes darken and he licks his lips.

"Anna, you're sore, we don't need to" I stop his words by kissing him.

"I know" I tell him and let my hands travel lower over his stomach.

"Anna, you don't" I stop him with a kiss again.

I don't know why but his need to protect me makes me more confident. I can do this for him. At least I hope that I can.

I step back slightly so that there is more room between us, take a deep breath and then grasp his penis in my hand. Sid sucks in air and closes he's eyes. I start to stroke, slowly and awkwardly, up and down the full length of him. It's surprising how smooth and hard it is at the same time.

Sid's breathing is faster and his hand is braced on the wall as I continue to stroke, over and over, up and down. Suddenly I'm unsure what to do next. Do I go faster? Stay at this speed? I panic when I even think about using more than my hand. There's no way that I'm ready to give a blow job. I'm not even sure what I'm doing this way.

I'm surprised when Sid's hand covers mine but he follows along with me as I stroke. Oh, he's showing me what he likes. I'm now stroking longer, fully from the base to the tip, and with increasing speed. When I have the movement, his hand leaves mine and I continue increasing speed. Sid is breathing so hard now it's like he's just come off a shift on the ice. It doesn't take too much longer before he grunts and then groans. I watch as his orgasm washes over him and it's a fascinating thing to see. It's like his entire body is hard and tight one moment and then everything relaxes including his now flaccid penis in my hand. I let go quickly like it's on fire. What do I do now?

I'm saved from further awkwardness when Sid pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeply.

He hugs me close and whispers "is that the first time you've done that?"

"Yeah" I whisper back, embarrassed. "You could tell huh?"

"Yes, but not in a bad way so stop whatever you're thinking in here" he pulls back and taps my head.

"Oh" is all I can say.

"It was incredible" he tells me and pulls me back into his arms. "And I'm honoured to be your first." The chuckle comes easy to my lips and Sid pulls back, kisses me and continues "let's rinse off and get back to bed."

We finish in the shower and dry off quickly. Sid stays naked but I pull on a tee shirt and panties. He may have touched and seen every inch of my skin but that doesn't mean that I can just walk around naked like he does.

Sid's about to get into bed but he notices that I'm hesitant.

"Something wrong?" he asks.

"Do mind if I change he sheets?" I ask him. "There's dried whip cream everywhere and it's crusty."

"More than whip cream is making it crusty" he replies and winks.

"Yeah, well, anyway, it will only take me a minute, I promise" I tell him and duck back into the bathroom embarrassed. I just had his penis in my hand but he embarrasses me with a wink, good grief.

I find clean sheets in the linen cabinet and go back to the bedroom to find Sid stripping the bed.

"I can do that" I tell him.

"It's like the shower" he tells me and I know I look confused. "I helped dirty them so I can help with the clean ones."

With Sid's help, we are in bed on clean sheets quickly. Sid pulls me into his arms and positions us so that we're spooning. He kisses my neck a few times and settles his head on my pillow. His arm is wrapped around me just under my breasts with his hand splayed over my bare skin under my tee shirt. It doesn't seem to matter what it wear, Sid always finds bare skin.

I slip into sleep with a smile on my face.

Sidney

I think back over the past few weeks as I cool down on the bike. If I'm not practicing or playing, I'm with Anna and it's been incredible. We can't go out in public together so we spend time mostly at her apartment. It's closer to Consol than my house in Sewickley which is better or Anna because of the long hours she works. I had no idea the kind of hours interns put in but it's crazy. Anna clearly thrives on the mountains of work and energy of the environment.

I wish we could actually date. I'd love to take her out to dinner and a movie, see her in a sexy dress low cut over her breasts and high cut to show off her legs. Maybe she'll wear one tonight for the casino fundraiser. We used to do a dinner where the players served but we've changed that up this year and now we're manning the tables while the donors gamble. We all hate these things but it raises a lot of money for charity and there's only a few of these events that we have to do. Having tomorrow off also makes it tolerable.

After cooling down, I shower and change into dress pants and a white dress shirt they asked us to wear for this event. They'll provide us bow ties and vests. With hockey bodies, there is no way that they can provide us more than that to wear. No amount of simple alterations could make rentals fit us.

I find a bunch of guys in the lounge, some are having a beer and there's laughing and joking. I hope I never take this for granted. These simple moments where we are just a group of guys enjoying each other as friends are invaluable.

"Ok gentleman, time to get into your pretty vests and bow ties."

We all look over to the doorway and see Jen enter the room followed by Anna pulling a rack of clothes.

"Baise-moi" Tanger says softly beside me.

I know that Tanger has noticed Anna. Technically, her dress does cover most of her body and only her legs are showing any skin. That's technically. In actuality, her dress skims over her body like a second skin and shows off every curve to perfection.

"Fuck me" Bennett whispers.

"I already say that" Tanger tells him.

"What you, animals?" Geno says and steps in front of everyone. "Have respect."

He walks over to Jen and Anna. I can't hear what he says but he makes them both laugh. That's Geno. Most of the guys follow him and I take advantage of the moment to get my shit together. I've seen what's under that dress and know all of those curves intimately. I adjust myself when no one is looking and get a bottle of water.

"Sid?"

I turn and see Anna standing in front of me with a vest and bow tie.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi, I have your things."

She steps up and helps me into the vest adjusting the side straps so that it fits tighter around my waist. They always need to get larger vests so that it fits across our backs but that means it's loose around the waist. At least this issue is easily fixable.

I turn and she puts on the bow tie. Anna has to stand very close to me to clip it on and I can smell her perfume. I've only ever had brief whiffs of it over her skin but now I'm experiencing it up close and in full effect. Between the tight dress, lots of curves and perfume, my body reacts uncontrollably. When Anna shifts, she feels how hard I am against her hip. Very briefly, her eyes widen but it is so quick that there is no way anyone else sees it.

"You are so fucking hot" I tell her under my breath and feel her hands slightly falter. When she steps back, I play with the bow tie and ask "straight?"

She gives me a warm but impersonal smile and replies "it's great. Jen has the boutonnieres."

She may have been trying for impersonal, and I'm sure that's what everyone else saw, but I noticed her cheeks pink slightly.

Anna turns and walks over to Kuni to help him with his bow tie. I don't care if anyone notices but I watch her walk away. The way the dress molds over her ass is perfection.

"Who knew she was that hot" Bennett says beside me.

I want to rip out his tongue and feed it to him, which stuns the shit out of me, but I simply look at him and smile. He can interpret that any way he wants. He better stay the fuck away from her though. He's known for playing with the interns. I know Anna wouldn't reciprocate but he better stay the fuck away from her.

I drink down a whole bottle of water hoping that it will cool me down and then join in a conversation about Tanger's son to distract myself. I must be distracted because I let Tanger take a selfie of us that he posts on Instagram. He still can't believe that I'm not on any social media. There's no way that anyone not in my position can understand. I have to maintain a hard line between personal and professional to stay sane. It's also part of the elaborate media strategy Pat and his team created. Besides, my life isn't exactly fascinating that anyone would be interested in it.

"Can you guys gather round please?" Jen's voice shouts above the din.

It takes a few minutes but eventually we all circle her and a couple of the interns, including Anna. I desperately try not to look her way. Surely it would give something away. I'm not nearly as good as Anna is at hiding my feelings.

"I'm going to call out your name and you'll go with the PR team member to meet one of the casino staff. They will teach you how to operate your table. That staff member will also be with you all evening to help out."

Jen then reads out the first group of names. They are on the roulette tables and go with Meagan. I hear Tanger breathe a sigh of relief beside me. This past week she's been targeting Tanger to hit on and he's really close to talking to Jen about it. He doesn't want to get an intern in trouble but he has a wife and kid and definitely doesn't need anyone thinking that something is going on between him and Meagan.

Tanger, Geno, Scuds and I are called to man the blackjack tables. We are told to follow Anna. I'm starting to feel like fate is against me or I have really bad luck because I'm following Anna to ice level. Her gorgeous ass is swaying from side to side as she walks in the killer high heels she favours. An image of her with nothing but those heels flashes through my mind and I have to put my hands in my pockets to adjust myself. What the fuck is it about this girl? Sure I'm in my prime physically and I've had a healthy sex life; but, with this girl it seems to be all I can think about.

Anna deposits us each at a table that has one of the casino staff waiting. Mine's name is Jeff and he's a huge Pens fan. Thankfully, he focuses on the job at hand and teaches me how to deal blackjack. There are hard rules about when a dealer hits and stands so that part is easy. It takes me a few rounds to get the dealing part right because you need to put the card in a specific spot and in a specific way but I do get it finally.

I see something out of the corner of my eye just in time to dodge a small projectile.

"Sorry" Duper yells.

He's at a roulette table and the ball got away from him.

"Hey Dupe, don't put Sid on the IR" Sutsy yells to him and everyone laughs. "Is that an upper or lower body injury?"

The guys chirp more and I stand and shake Jeff's hand.

"Thanks for the lesson" I tell him. "Since we have a few minutes, did you want a picture or something signed?"

He looks anxious and then leans forward slightly.

"We were specifically told not to ask for pictures of autographs Sid" he answers.

I can see that he clearly would love it but doesn't want to break the rules. I see Anna walking by.

"Anna" I call after her.

She turns and looks surprised for a moment.

"Hi" she says as she walks over.

"Jeff has been such a huge help to me, I was wondering if you would take a picture of us. Maybe we could use your phone Jeff?" I ask him.

Anna catches on right away even though Jeff is clearly stunned and unsure what to do.

"That sounds great. Do you have your phone with you Jeff?" she asks him. Anna leans in to take it from him and whispers "I'll make sure your boss knows it was Sid's idea."

I smile at her and stand next to Jeff for the picture. Anna takes a few and then gives Jeff back his camera.

"See you guys later" Anna says and walks away.

We both watch her walk away and then exchange a look that guys have when they've both seen and appreciated a hot girl. No words are necessary.

Jeff goes back to the table and cleans up the cards and chips. I see Anna approach the casino manager and talk with him for a few minutes. Before she turns to leave, I see her wink at me and I know it's taken care of; Jeff won't get in trouble with his boss.

"Ok everybody" Jen raises her voice to be heard by the crowd of us. "Let's go to the locker room for pictures and then we'll wait for the evening to begin."

The guys chirp each other, especially Duper, on their incompetence at the roulette tables as we walk to the locker room. There are chairs and a riser ready for us to get into position. It takes Jen a couple of tries to organize the chaos but we slowly get into position. I'm sitting in the middle, as usual. It's something that I've had to get used to because I hate being the centre of attention. I never get completely used to it.

I see Anna at the door take a few pictures with her phone. It's easy to watch her because she's standing directly ahead of me.

"Anna!" Geno calls to her. "You join. Make picture pretty."

"Tanger makes the picture pretty" Benny yells and everyone laughs.

There's more chirping and the focus turns away from Anna. She laughs along with the guys but I can see the slight pink of her embarrassment showing in her cheeks.

The photographer and Jen finally have everyone where they want them and we smile while they take pictures. It may have taken fifteen minutes to get everyone together but it only takes a few minutes to get the pictures. Jen gives us the last minute directions to what will happen after we're introduced. It takes a little while since she keeps getting heckled by the guys. Finally she finishes and now we wait until they're ready to introduce us.

I watch as Geno walks up to Anna and she pulls out her tablet. They are very close together as she points to things on her tablet and Geno talks about whatever it is she's pointing at. Anna looks competent, professional and completely at ease with herself and what she's doing. No one would know the deep insecurities that lay inside of this girl. I think it's the dichotomy that I find so fascinating.

"You need be more careful" I hear Duper say softly beside me.

I look at him confused.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Anna" he says. "You may think that you're being careful but it's obvious when you look at her kid."

"What's obvious?"

"That if you're not already doing something, then you definitely want to be doing something with that girl."

I look around but no one seems to be paying any attention to us.

"Thanks" I tell him.

"Are you actually admitting something?"

I smile at him and say nothing. I don't want to lie to my friend but I also don't want tell him what's going on either. It's not that I think he wouldn't keep the secret; but, I just don't want to put him in that situation. Geno keeping the secret is enough.

To save myself from having to answer any more questions of his, I leave the room and go into the lounge. Anna follows soon after me.

"You can't do that" she whispers when she's beside me.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Stare at me like that Sid."

"Like what?"

She looks around and then leans closer.

"Like I'm a meal you want to eat" she says and turns pink as she says it.

"I happen to know that you taste delicious" I say directly into her ear.

She shivers, as I knew she would, and then gasps when I bite her ear lobe. I love shocking her.

"How much time do we have?" I ask. "I'm really hungry."

She giggles, actually giggles, and replies "you need to behave. Anyone can come in here and find us."

"No one is going to come in here. I'm surprised that Jen even let us leave. Come on, just a small snack."

I slip my lips down to her neck and nibble there. I take a few bites and then use my tongue to taste further. This close, her scent completely invades all of my senses. It's intoxicating. I slide my hand up the front of her thigh, under her dress and then between her legs.

With my mouth at her ear again, I say "just a little taste to hold me over baby."

She giggles again and I chuckle I response. Then I hear someone clearing their throat. Anna and I part immediately and stare at the doorway. Fuck.


	21. Chapter 21

Anna

Oh God! It's Mario! He's standing there, in the door way, frowning at us with squinty eyes. What did he see? How much did he see? Oh God!

"Hi Anna, Sidney" he says carefully to us. "Anna, I think Jen is looking for you."

I take the out he's giving me and mutter an apology as I walk by him. I don't have the nerve to look either Sid or Mario in the eye. I carefully blank my face as I enter the locker room and look for Jen.

"Ah, there you are" she says to me. "Gather your guys please. We're almost ready to go."

I smile and then look for Geno, Rob and Kris. I find them but Sid isn't back yet. There is no way I can go look for him, absolutely no way, but I need to get my guys together. Oh God. This is getting as complicated as I feared it would be and I'm going to get fired. Oh God, I'm going to get fired. Mario won't sue me for breach of contract and he'll probably let me quit so that it doesn't look like I was fired. It wouldn't look good for my father if his daughter was fired from her one and only paying job. Oh God. The irony that my father would love how much I'm praying to God right now isn't lost on me.

"Everybody ready to go?" Jen says from the doorway.

I'm about to panic when I see Mario and Sid join Jen in the doorway. Sid quickly walks over to our group but won't make eye contact with me. That's ok because I can't look at either him or Mario.

Jen repeats the directions for what the guys have to do with very little heckling from the guys this time, probably because Mario is here, and then we're off. As we walk down the hall, I glance at Sid and he slightly shakes his head. It's going to be a very long night if I have to wait until the evening is over to know what happened with Mario. Ok, I need to pull myself together and focus on work.

Each of the players is introduced and then there's a pause before Geno and Sid are announced.

"You no ask me to go to bathroom" Geno tells me.

I can't resist so I ask "do you need to go?"

"Good thing you pretty. No funny" he tells me.

Only Geno could pull a genuine laugh out of me right now and he does.

"Oh Geno, you're funny enough for us all. We need to play to our strengths anyway" I tell him.

It takes him a moment but he gets what I'm saying.

"You say I no pretty? Girls all say different."

"Well, I'm a woman, not a girl."

"Ha" is all he says before he is announced and has to go out.

Sid and I have a few minutes alone. I look around to make sure there's no one who could hear us.

Softly I ask "do I still have a job?"

"Yeah" he says back.

"Can we talk later?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow's an off day. Come to my house tonight?"

"Sure."

Then we can't talk any further because Sid is announced. As expected, the loudest cheers are for Sid and he smiles and gives a small wave before taking his seat. The donors are already at tables waiting for the players. They'll rotate throughout the evening so that they get to sit with their favourite players. My job is to stay available to my players at the blackjack tables in case they need something.

I take a quick look at my phone as it vibrates. It's from Geno.

'You fault. I have to pee'

I can't control the involuntary laugh that chokes from me. He is so freaking adorable sometimes, seriously adorable, too much for his own good. That reminds me, I need to check with Mathew, my father's deputy chief of staff, and see if he has found out anything about Geno's brother. We've exchanged a few emails and Mathew offered to contact the Russian government to see what's happening but he knows not to go further than that. It would be spun in the press that my father is doing a rich Russian favours if he does any more than ask questions.

I notice that Sid has finished his bottle of water so I get a few from the bartender and walk around to the tables handing them out to the players. When I get to Geno, he decides to make me part of his entertainment.

"This my babysitter" Geno says to the crowd at his table. "Say hi Anna."

"Hi Anna" I tell the table.

"Maybe you funny" Geno tells me and goes back to dealing.

I leave him water and go to Sid's table. He's talking to the people at his table as he deals the cards. There's a girl at his table, probably his age, batting her eyes at him. She's blond and thin, of course, and probably tall to have those long legs crossed and shown off in the short dress. I hate her instantly. It doesn't matter that Sid is paying no attention to her, I hate her on principle. Of course this happens everywhere he goes in public. It seems that there are always girls throwing themselves at him. Hmm, it's interesting that I hate her but I'm not worried about her. Actually, I can't remember being jealous of any of the girls who flirt with Sid. Maybe I'm starting to believe that he actually wants to be with me. He could be with any one of them if he wanted, right?

The night goes by quickly and I don't get a chance to see Sid when the evening ends. The players aren't speaking with the media but the heads of the different foundations, the Pens' CEO and Mario will have pressers and need someone to support them. The fates hate me because I'm assigned to Mario.

I lead the press to where Mario is standing and take my usual position a few feet away but close enough to hear everything. He could probably do this kind of presser in his sleep so I don't anticipate needing to be actively involved.

I watch Mario as he answers questions. He appears confident, casual and friendly. It's the perfect persona for someone who is both an owner and a former player. I can see that Sid has taken on some of Mario's characteristics. It's easy to see why Mario has been successful as a former-player and now owner.

Within ten minutes, the presser is finished and Mario and I are alone in the hall. I want to run as fast and as far as I can right now; but, I would also like to find out what Mario has to say to me, if anything, rather than waiting for Sid or being uncomfortable every time I see him. It kills me but I stay where I am and maintain eye contact with Mario.

"Why don't you see if Jen needs you further? If not, why don't we have a chat?" Mario says.

"Ok" I respond.

"Good, I'll meet you in my office" he tells me and then turns to the elevator.

Shit, he wants me to meet him in his office. That can't be good. Sid said that I won't be fired but there are a lot of other things that can happen that are also horrific.

"Thanks for your help tonight" Jen says when I approach her. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Do you need anything else from me tonight?" I ask.

"No, it's been a long day. I'll close up the media room and make sure the press is gone. Go home and have a good day off tomorrow."

"Thanks Jen, goodnight."

I go the elevator so that I can meet Mario in his office. My incredibly bad luck continues because Meagan is there too.

"How was Mario's presser?" she asks but I can hear the sarcasm in her voice.

As we get into the elevator, I choose to ignore the sarcasm and reply "it was good. Not much to do since he's been doing these for years."

"Yeah, you seem to get all of the easy assignments. Didn't take you long to go from Geno to Mario. You leaped right over Sid huh? Why fuck the captain when you can fuck the boss?"

I'm stunned silent by her words. I can't seem to find my voice to even make a noise. She is actually saying that I'm sleeping with Geno and Mario. She's not just insinuating, gossiping or alluding to it. She has come right out and accused me of sleeping with Geno and Mario to advance at my job. How do I respond to something so outrageous, offensive and potentially damaging to me, Mario, Geno, the list goes on and on?

"I don't even know how to respond to that Meagan. You've been rude and belligerent toward me in the past but this is incomprehensible. Whatever makes you think that I'm sleeping with Geno or Mario?"

"If you're not fucking them, and I still think you are, then you must be getting the assignments because of your daddy! Why else would you be getting things that no intern ever gets? Either way, you're a whore."

I didn't think I could be any more shocked by her and then she calls me a whore. The elevator doors open and Meagan leaves but I can't even move my feet.

"Are you coming out?" one of the administrators says to me.

"Oh, sorry, yeah" I say and quickly step out so that she can get onto the elevator.

I slowly walk down the hall to take my things to my desk and sit down. I know that Mario is waiting for me but I need a moment to collect myself. The day just keeps getting worse and worse. My phone vibrates and I see a message come up from Sid. He's reminding me of the code to the gate at his house and that he picked up some dinner for us.

Right, Sid. I'm supposed to go to his house tonight. I don't see how I possibly can. I shake my head and take a few deep breaths. I'll deal with that after Mario.

As I walk to Mario's office, I see that the intern area is empty, including Meagan thank goodness. His door is open but I knock anyway. Mario is on the sofa in his seating area and on the phone. He gestures me to sit down as he finishes up his call.

"Lauren asked me to say hello to you" he tells me.

"How is she?" I ask automatically from engrained manners.

"She's good, loves school, or so she's telling me" he chuckles. "Are you ok Anna? You are very pale. Can I get you some water?"

I decline his offer. Right now I couldn't possible keep anything down I'm too upset by Meagan and nervous about what Mario is going to say.

"This is an awkward conversation for us both to have Anna" he begins. "You work for the organization, I know your family and Sid isn't just our captain but part of my family as well. I'll be honest, if it was any other player and any other intern then I'd let Jen and Jim handle everything."

He pauses for a moment and I nod. I really don't know what to say because he's right. I came here wanting to be like anyone else and I'm getting special treatment because of who I am. The problem is that, this time, it's my fault. I have no one else to blame. I knew the rules. I didn't care about the rules. I deserve whatever happens to me.

"I feel like I know you very well Anna. I've watched you grow up and, even though you've only been here a short time, you have grown into a competent and talented woman. We are very lucky to have you here. I also feel like I've watched Sid grow up and there are many things you have in common. The most important one is that neither of you do anything reckless. Sure, you've been impetuous as the young can be, but never, ever reckless"

He pauses again and I stay silent. The more he talks, the more confused I become about what he means and what's going to happen next. All I know is how badly I feel that I've put Mario in this position.

"Mario, I don't have the words to express how sorry I am that this happened. I can't even claim that it's a mistake. I'm fully aware of what's in my contract and I signed it knowing that I was not to have personal relationships with players. I have no excuse."

Mario moves so that he's sitting in the chair next to mine. I gather my courage and look up at him. He reaches and takes my hand with his.

"If you'll permit me, I'd like to talk to you like a father" he says. I nod. "Good. You and Sid are walking a dangerous path and I said as much to him. Yes, you have violated your contract, knowingly according to you, and Sid admits the same. It would be best if you decided not to see each other anymore."

I know that my eyes widen so I quickly look down. I'm not surprised that Mario said it, I expected as much, but I'm surprised at how much it hurts to think about not seeing Sid.

"I received a similar response from Sid when I made that suggestion. It tells me that this is more than a passing thing between you." My heart beats a little faster. Sid thinks it's more too? "I won't do anything further about what I've seen and what we've discussed. In fact, let's agree to pretend it didn't happen at all. Ok?"

I nod.

"Good then. Oh, try to be more careful please. You need to keep it out of the arena, ok?"

"Yes" I agree and walk to the door. Before I leave, I say "thank you Mario."

He smiles, nods and walk to his desk.

As I walk back to mine, I feel the weight of exhaustion on my shoulders. It's been a brutal day of highs and lows. The issue with Mario is gone but Meagan is still dangerous.

My phone vibrates again and Sid's sent me another message.

'ETA?'

I sigh. I can't see Sid tonight. He's going to know that I'm upset and then I'll either have to lie to him or tell him about Meagan. I want to talk to him about Mario but there is no way that I can tell Sid about Meagan and what she's said. I don't know what he would do.

'I'm exhausted, rain check?' I text back.

I wait for a response to my message. I'm half way to my car before he messages back.

'What's wrong?'

Oh Sid, please leave it alone tonight.

'I'm just exhausted and need to sleep. You make a girl tired x'

Hopefully, that will satisfy him and he'll leave it alone. My phone vibrates again. No such luck.

'Something is wrong, I thought you trusted me'

Of course he says the perfect thing at the perfect time. I sigh and give up.

'I'll be there in 30 mins'

'Drive carefully'

I have thirty minutes to decide what I'm going to tell Sid. How do I be honest but not tell him everything? It's ironic that I'm worried about being honest when I've been lying all along.

Sidney

I'm nervous. There's no other way to describe how I'm feeling. When Anna cancelled and said she was too tired to come over I felt my heart fall into my stomach. She was skittish to begin with and now Mario knows about us. The smart thing is to follow Mario's advice and stop seeing Anna and all my life I've always done the smart thing. So why can't I do that now? Why can't I do the right thing? It's not like I'm in love with her. We haven't been together long enough to know that but there is something different about Anna that isn't like any other girl I've known.

I can't talk to my friends about her because no one is supposed to know. Geno is the only one who really knows the details, although Duper suspects, but he's not the kind of friend I talk to personal issues. I could tell Duper everything but he's still dealing with so much shit about his health that I don't want to burden him. Anna is going to be here in thirty minutes so I need to figure this shit out quickly. I pick up my phone and call the only person who will always help and never judge. She picks up on the second ring.

"Hello Sidney" she says.

"Hi mom."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean 'what's wrong'?"

"Sidney, I'm your mother and I've known you all your life. I can tell when something is wrong."

I sigh. This is subconsciously why I called her. I knew mom would know something was wrong without my having to say something.

"It's a girl" I tell her.

"Really!?"

"Yes really and you can get that surprise out of your voice mom."

"Excuse me but this is the first time you've ever come to me with a girl problem. I'm surprised."

"Yeah, I know but this time it's complicated mom."

"Ok, start from the beginning."

I tell my mom everything. Well, I don't tell her everything, instead I start at the beginning of the season. I may be calling my mom for help but she doesn't need to know that her little boy had a drunk fuck with the Governor's daughter that he doesn't remember.

"Well, you certainly have a complicated situation sweetie."

"Yeah" I tell her and rub my hand over my face.

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know mom."

"Well, you didn't say no, that doesn't mean that you don't so she's important to you. You wouldn't be calling me if she wasn't important to you Sidney."

"Yeah, she is mom. It's so weird that she means this must to me when I haven't known her for very long. This has never happened before. God, I don't even like to date during the season usually and now I'm in some secret relationship."

"Not so secret anymore" she says.

"Mario won't say anything and neither will Geno."

"That's two and Pascal makes three."

"Yeah, I know. It's getting complicated."

"So make it simple Sidney. Do you want to break up with her?"

"No" I answer immediately.

"So you want to keep seeing her?"

"Yes."

"And you might be falling in love with her?"

"Maybe."

"Do you trust her?"

"Yes."

"I think you have your answer sweetie. When was the last time you said that you trusted someone so quickly and easily?"

She's right. It usually takes years for me to completely trust someone and yet I completely trust Anna. Maybe mom is right and that's my answer. If I trust her then she's worth it.

The doorbell rings and I'm surprised that I've been talking with mom for a half hour.

"That's Anna at the door mom. I have to go."

"Ok sweetie. Do you know what you're going to do?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks mom. I love you."

"Love you too Sidney."

I hang up and go to the front door. It's unlocked but Anna wouldn't try it and come in. Opening the door reveals an apprehensive Anna who is worrying her fingers together. She's here so that must mean something. We'll talk and work everything out.

I step back to let her in and she brushes against me as she walks past. Her fragrance lightly reaches me and I'm drawn to her in a way I've never been with another girl. Again. We can talk later.

I spin her around and push her against the wall. My lips find hers instantly and she responds quickly moving hers over mine. My hips push into hers and she pushes back against me. I groan when her fingers dig into my scalp and twist in my hair. Her taste makes me crave more and more. My hands pull her shirt out of her skirt looking for her warm flesh. I quickly find it.

I pull away to pull her coat off and then her shirt over her head. Before my mouth can find hers again, she pulls at my tee shirt and I raise my arms to help her take it off of me. When it's lying on the floor with her clothes, I turn Anna around so that she's facing the wall. She pushes her ass back against me seeking more contact. It gives me the opportunity to pull her skirt up over her stomach and slide my hand into her panties.

"Ahhhh" she cries out.

I slide my middle through her folds from front to back and then front to back again. Her mews and cries are so fucking hot. I use two fingers and continue to rub only this time I pause when I hit her clit. First I push down, then rub around, then flick with the tip of my finger. I repeat the actions over and over and Anna's breath comes louder and faster. Her hips rotate and she pushes down against my hand.

"You are so fucking hot" I whisper in her ear and then lap up her neck with my lips and tongue. "Moan for me again baby."

I slide my two fingers inside of her and am rewarded with a low, long moan. Seriously fucking hot. I almost explode in my jeans when Anna begins to grind against my hand while she moans. Before I completely lose myself, I pull back and Anna cries out and reaches back for me. I turn her around again and lift her in my arms. She deserves better than being fucked against the wall.

I don't stop until I'm beside my bed and I let Anna slide out of my arms and stand in front of me. I reach around and undo her bra then lean down to kiss her. She puts her hand on my chest and pushes me away. I drop my hands and take a step back.

I look at Anna. Her lips are swollen and wet from mine, her hair has fallen out of its bun by my hands and one of her hands is holding her bra in place so it won't fall off since I undid it.

"Can we talk Sid?"

Those are four very scary words. She can't want to break up with me now that I've decided that I want to be together. My brain finally focuses.

"Definitely, hang on a minute" I tell her.

I duck into my walk in closet and grab the first dress shirt I see. Anna is exactly where I left her when I come back to the bedroom.

"Here, you can put this one" I say and hand her the shirt.

To give her a few minutes to dress, I go back into my closet and grab myself a tee shirt. I take a little longer than I need so that she's comfortable. When I go back into the bedroom, she's sitting on bed, cross legged, and I see her skirt and bra neatly folder on my bedside table. She's not going to break up with me if she took off her skirt and is on my bed, is she?

I join her on the bed and wait for her to talk. She initiated this conversation and I really need to hear what's going on in her head.

"I'm sorry" she tells me.

"Sorry for what?" I ask with trepidation.

"About, well" she gestures to where we were last standing together.

Oh, that.

"You never have to apologize for wanting to stop Anna, never."

"Oh, ok" she says and looks down at her hands.

I've come to learn that's how Anna gathers her thoughts when she's nervous. She always looks down at her hands before she speaks.

"Sid, Mario wanted to talk to me after the event ended" she begins.

"Ok" is all I can say.

"He told me that he advised you that we should break up. He said the same thing to me."

"Oh, and what did you say?"

"I guess the same thing that you did; no."

I feel all of my trepidation and fear melt away. She said no too.

"Yeah, I told him that I appreciated his advice and I was sorry that he was caught in the middle of this but that I wanted to continue seeing you."

"Why?" she asks.

She asks the one question that I'm not sure that I can answer. Then I think back to the conversation with my mother and I know what to say.

"I trust you. The rest is the usual stuff that happens when you're getting to know someone that you really like; but, the difference for me is that I trust you Anna. I don't trust easily and I don't trust often but I trust you. Right now, that's why."

I watch her eyes fill but I can't figure out if they are good tears like when my mom or sister are emotional or if it's something else. It's starting to feel like something else but then Anna shakes her head as if to rid herself of a thought and wipes the stray tear that has fallen.

"I know how hard it is to trust others" she tells me. "I know because it's the same for me. I trust you too Sidney. I don't think I've trusted anyone in my life as much as I do you."

I'm quite suddenly overcome about the implication of her statement. It's not that she trusts me, although my heart swells at the thought, it's that she has no one else in her life that she can fully trust. I need be cautious and careful about who I let in but I have my family always and even the Lemieuxs one hundred percent in my corner.

"I am so happy to hear that" I tell her. "I was worried when you said you were too tired to come over. I thought you wanted to break up with me."

"Oh Sid" she says, slides closer to me and takes my hand. "I was confused and upset but I most definitely do not want to break up with you. I promise."

I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it softly. Anna then cups my cheek and brushes it with her thumb.

"I'm glad. I don't know where we're going but this connection is too strong. I've um" I hesitate for a moment but I guess it's time to lay everything out. "I've never had this kind of connection with another girl Anna. I'm falling for you, big time."

Anna's eyes darken and dampen. Her lips form in a perfect smile. I feel excitement and contentment at the same time.

"Can I make love to you now?" I ask softly.

"Yes please" she replies and gives me a shy smile.

I tug Anna's hand so that she tilts off balance and I can pull her sideways onto my lap. She leans back into my arm and I cup her cheek with my other hand. This time I go more slowly, sipping at her lips, rubbing softly with mine. I pull back slightly and lick her bottom lip, then one corner, then the other. Anna sighs beautifully and I feel it deep inside of my heart. Right now I might answer my mom's question differently. I'm falling in love with Anna.

We may have almost spontaneously combusted downstairs but I want to savour her right now. We've basically emptied our hearts to each other and committed to growing this relationship. All we need to do is keep this quiet until the end of the season and then everything will be perfect.

I slide Anna down to the bed and lie alongside of her. Slowly I slide open each button of the shirt to reveal warm, soft skin and feel Anna shiver as my fingers continue to graze over her skin. When it's completely open, and falls away from her skin, I see that she's still wearing her panties. I start at her neck and leave soft kisses on her skin, down her neck, between her breasts, over her stomach and then over her panties at the junction of her thighs. I retrace my path back up over her stomach noticing this time that she pulls her stomach in.

I don't know what to do. I've only dated women who were athletic and had the body of an athlete. That doesn't mean that Anna isn't beautiful.

As I kiss up her neck, I whisper "you are so incredibly beautiful."

I pull back and run my fingers through her hair to fan it out. Then I lightly trace the bridge of her nose, her checks, chin, lips.

"So incredible beautiful" I say and kiss her again.

This time I take the kiss deeper and Anna's lips open to mine so that our tongues can explore. I feel her hands slide up my arms and hold onto my shoulders. She pulls me so that I'm covering her.

"I'm heavy" I whisper against her lips.

"No" she says. "I, um" she doesn't finish.

"You what" I reply and kiss her cheek and her neck. "Tell me what you want Anna."

Still, she remains silent.

"I can't give you what you need if you don't tell me" I murmur and continue to kiss her neck. "Tell me."

"I love the feel of lying beneath you. It makes me feel safe."

I'm blown away by her words. This girl who is so unsure of herself, who feels like she can't trust anyone in her world, not only trusts me but feels safe with me. It's overwhelming.

I readjust myself so that I'm lying between her legs and can hold some of my weight up on my elbows. I lie on her and still have access to her body. My hands slide into her hair as I capture her lips again.

This kiss lasts and lasts. Anna pushes her hips up as I push down and we grind into each other while our lips and tongue play. I shiver when her fingers run under and up my shirt. I leave her body just long enough to pull my shirt completely off and she takes that moment to pull off my dress shirt from her body. Skin against skin, I feel her nipples harden against my chest and need to taste them.

Slowly I slide my lips from hers, over her chin, down her chest to capture one of her nipples in my lips. Her fingers dig into my hair and tighten as I lightly use my teeth then lave with my tongue. I move to her other breast and repeat my ministrations. Anna's hips begin to rotate now a sure sign of how excited she is. I continue to slide down her body until I'm at the side of the bed.

Quickly, I remove my jeans and shorts, taking out a condom. For a moment I'm mesmerized by Anna. She's lying there with only her panties on, her hair is fanned out around her head, breasts full and heavy with nipples tight. With one knee up slightly, she's a siren tempting me back to her. I only pause long enough to pull her panties down her legs and throw them on the floor with my jeans.

I climb onto the bed and stalk up between her legs and slide my body over hers. She moans and that almost puts me over the top. I need to be inside of her right now. I slide my hand between us to see if she's ready and her hips press up to meet my hand. Unable to resist, I slide two fingers inside and push in as far as I can and then back out, in and the out. When I swirl and stretch, Anna cries out and begs incoherently. As extra insurance, I pause and play with her clit feeling her body slowly shake athen stiffen. I pull away, not ready for her to cum yet.

I sit up and grab the condom. After opening it, I feel Anna's hand on mine. She's sitting up now and takes the condom from me. She's biting her lip and her cheeks pink up but she's determined. It's endearing.

All thoughts fly out of my head when Anna grabs my base in one hand and positions the condom at the head. Her eyes fly up to mine and I realize that she doesn't know what to do. I'm going to be very lucky if I don't simply blow with her touching me like this. Her inexperience but boldness is incredibly erotic.

"Pinch the top to leave some room but no air and then roll it down" I tell her.

She refocuses back on my dick and bites her tongue while she follows my directions. Fuck. When she's done, she looks up at me and smiles. Very cute.

But I don't have the patience to appreciate it more because I have to be buried inside of her now. Anna's eyes change quickly from sweet to hot and she lies back on the bed with her legs open for me. How quickly she's gone from inexperienced to wanton. To torture us both, I slide up her body slowly and then position myself so that I thrust once and am deep inside of her.

Anna moans, I groan, but there is no more time to savour. I lead us in a steady pace, trying desperately to last for Anna to cum, but Anna grinds as I thrust. It's too much and I know I can't hold on much longer so I reach between us, find her clit and bring her to orgasm quickly. Another few thrusts and I'm there with her.


	22. Chapter 22

Anna

I wake up slowly and it takes me a few minutes to remember where I am. Hearing Sid breathing beside me brings the memories back of yesterday and last night. So many ups and downs in one day could give a girl whiplash. At least the night ended well. I look over Sid's sleeping body and amend my thoughts. Last night ended exceptionally well.

I turn onto my side so that I'm facing Sid. He's lying on his stomach, one arm under his pillow, facing me. I reach out and push a curl off of his forehead. Sid is so very beautiful and he's mine. I bite my lip to keep from giggling. He really is mine. He could have easily broken up with me and blamed Mario but he didn't. He said that he was falling for me 'big time'.

We have the day off and I'm going to make the most of it. No thoughts of Mario or Meagan or anything else but Sid and me. A glance at the clock tells me that I've slept in. It's 7am, which is early for Sid I'm sure, but it's sleeping in for me.

Quietly I slip out of bed and pick up my panties and Sid's shirt from the floor. I shut the bedroom door silently and slip on the clothes then head down to the kitchen. I find a bathroom on the way and take care of business. My hair is a disaster and my make-up smeared. Yikes. I clean up the rings under my eyes which take care of most of the problem. A quick rummage through my purse and I find a hair elastic. I see some of our clothes on the floor so I pick them up, hang up my coat and then fold Sid's and my shirts.

That done, I go into the kitchen and see what Sid has in the fridge. There's a few take out containers which reminds me that Sid picked up dinner for us last night. I guess we weren't quite hungry for food but now my stomach grumbles and lets me know that I'm definitely hungry this morning.

I see eggs, cheese, spinach and mushrooms. It looks like we're having omelettes for breakfast. Sid has liked it when I've made them before. Oh, he has potatoes; I can make hash browns too.

I start on the hash browns first and quickly lose track of time.

"I thought I smelled something good down here" Sid says in a sleepy voice behind me sometime later.

"Good morning, hungry?" I ask him.

"Starving. I didn't get dinner last night."

"And whose fault was that?" I ask.

He nuzzles my neck and his arms encircle my waist.

"Yep something definitely smells good" he says and nuzzles my neck again. "Really good."

"If you keep that up then we won't be eating this morning either."

One of his hands slides lower, between my thighs and cups me there. I gasp, surprised.

"What if I'm hungry for something else?"

His words cause a shiver to run through my body. I almost forget about the food, almost, until his stomach rumbles behind me.

"How about this" I say. "Let's eat these omelettes I'm making and then we can do something about your other hunger. Sound good?"

"It works" he says and kisses my neck. "But don't think I'm forgetting about this" and he cups me again.

With one more squeeze, Sid turns to the kitchen counter and picks up the cutlery and dishes I've laid there. I leave him to set the table and I finish up cooking.

"I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed you know" I tell him.

"That always sounds better than it is. You bring everything up there and try to eat with your dish on your lap. Crumbs get everywhere, you drop your fork and maybe some food on the sheets, it's disgusting in the end" he tells me.

"Ah, I see you've had breakfast in bed often" I tell him and regret it the minute it's out of my mouth.

I hear more noise of dishes on the wood table and then Sid is behind me again. As soon as I've plated the omelettes on the platter, Sid turns me so that I'm looking at him.

"There have been other women Anna. I won't lie to you but, um" he pauses for a moment. "I've never had anyone but you here."

He cups my cheek as he says these words and my heart swells. I'm the only girl that has been in his home. That must mean something, right?

"I've also rarely had a girlfriend during the season. It just gets too complicated and I want all of my focus to be on hockey, you know?"

Now I'm confused. Is he telling me that I can't be his girlfriend because he doesn't have relationships during the season? Is he telling me that I'm the only one he's had a relationship with during the season?

"I can see that brain of yours working Anna. I am simply saying that you're different to me. A good different and definitely worth a little complication, ok?"

I smile and kiss him.

"Ok. Let's eat before everything gets cold" I tell him.

We take the food to the table and pile our dishes with omelettes, toast, and fruit. I've never been so hungry and I justify all of the extra calories by hoping that we're going to work them off later. I'm not disappointed.

After we eat and clean up, Sid carries me up the stairs, through his bedroom and into the bathroom. He settles me on the counter, gives me a soft kiss and then starts the water in the massive tub. He turns around to look at me, frowning.

"I don't have anything for bubbles" he tells me disappointed.

I smile. He's so cute.

"Do you have shampoo? Something that smells nice?" I ask.

His frown clears and he smiles. Sid walks into the shower and then comes out with a bottle. At the tub, he opens up the bottle and then pours.

"Whoa, Sid, that's probably enough" I tell him and watch a lot of bubbles form in the tub.

He laughs and caps the bottle.

When he comes back to me, I slide off of the counter and put my arms straight up. Sid takes the hem in his hands and slowly slides the shirt up letting his fingers trail across my skin. The shiver is a foregone conclusion.

He throws the shirt on the floor and then reaches up to pull off his own. I push his shorts down and the fall in a puddle at his feet and then pull down my panties. Sid takes my hand and walks back to the tub taking me with him. He steps in first and then helps me step in front of him. I wait until Sid slides into the water and then I sit in front of him. First I turn off the water now that the tub is full and then I lean back against him with the help of Sid's arms pulling me.

It takes me a few tries but eventually I do settle comfortably between his legs and with my head back on his chest. Sid's fingers lazily trace over my stomach, absently, almost like he doesn't realize what he's doing. It's that absent, subconscious touching that makes my heart swell again. It seems natural, like we always spend time together like this and it makes me feel like this could actually work.

"I like that you get days off when we do" he tells me and kisses my ear.

"One of the perks of working together I guess; although, I'm told that it won't always be like this as we get closer to the playoffs. You'll have days off because of the CBA but we have no such luck" I tell him.

"Then we have to take advantage of them while we can" he says and hugs me to him. "You know, after yesterday, we need to be more careful at Consol. Duper told me that he's noticed something too."

A feeling of unease settles in my stomach.

"You mean he knows too?" I ask.

"He said he's noticed something but I didn't confirm or deny what he was saying. I don't want to put him in that position, you know? If someone asked him then he'd have to lie and I just don't want him to have to do that. It's not fair."

"The circle of people who know about us is getting larger and larger. You're right; we need to be much more careful."

"We'll figure it out" he tells me. "Right now, let's not think about any of it, ok? What do you want to do today?"

I tilt my face up to his and smile. He smiles back.

"Besides that, which I want to do again soon and often today, what else?" he asks.

"I need to work out" I tell him and realize that I don't have anything with me but the clothes I had on yesterday.

"You don't need to work out. I have a recovery day so you can take one too."

"Sid, I need to run at least six days a week. I take one day off but no more than that. I can't afford it."

"What do you mean, you can't afford it?" he asks.

"If I don't run then I can't keep up even this curvy figure you know. I'll grow even bigger."

Sid is quiet for a while and I begin to assume he's lost in his own thoughts about what we can do today besides the obvious.

"You know" he begins. "I really don't like when you do that."

Surprised, I ask "do what?"

"Put yourself down like that."

Surprised and confused, I say "I don't understand."

His finger touches my chin and tilts my face up so that I'm looking at him again.

"You say a lot of things about not being perfect or you don't like your body. No one feels one hundred percent great about how they look you know? It's not like you're the only one in the world who wishes something was different. Some people get plastic surgery and the rest of us put up with it."

I don't know what to say to him. He makes me sound self-centred and he sounds angry. Doesn't he see that I'm not complaining or being self-deprecating?

"Sid, this isn't an opinion, they're facts. I've been dissected by the best in the business and I know what I'm good at, what I'm not good at, my best physical attributes and my worst. It also takes work to stay this way."

I shrug. He couldn't really understand. He's always been the best and I can only try to be but will always fail.

"I don't get it" he says confirming what I was just thinking. "I know that you know you're smart so I won't talk about that; but, physically, you're gorgeous. If anyone else has told you different than they are idiots and have no idea what they're talking about. I don't care if it's a political consultant or your mother. They just don't know you. You're gorgeous, inside and out. So just stop with the bull shit, ok?"

That's a lot to process so I don't answer him directly. Instead I lay my head back on his chest and get lost in my own thoughts for a little while. He thinks I'm gorgeous? I feel like I've just been scolded. He thinks I'm gorgeous.

Sid reaches for the wash cloth and rubs it with soap. He starts at my neck, rubbing in small circles, then over my chest and breasts. I guess our conversation is over.

"Let me show you" he whispers in my ear.

He adds more soap and then washes one arm and then the other. More soap goes on the cloth and he rubs circles over my stomach then slides lower. I shift slightly and give him more space to move his hand between my legs. At first, he uses the wash cloth to rub but he quickly drops the cloth and uses his fingers.

He rubs his middle finger between my folds and then slips the tip inside. Sid uses the tip to swirl around and around. I love it. There's such a small movement, slight pressure, but my nerves are on fire with every movement. My hips move and tilt up to meet his finger but he doesn't push in any deeper.

"Not yet baby" he whispers in my ear and bites my lobe.

The tingling increases and moves throughout my body. He plays my body like a master musician and I am laid out for him to play however he wants.

"I have an idea" he whispers and bites my lobe again.

"Yeah" is all I can manage as his finger moves again.

"Yeah" he whispers again. "How would you feel about trying something new?"

I barely comprehend what he's saying. What else could we possibly do?

"Do you?" he whispers.

"Do I what?"

"Want to try something?"

"What?"

His finger slides out but he keeps his hand between my legs, against me, holding me, there.

"I have a grey tie" he says and bites my ear lobe.

I don't understand what he's saying. A tie? Does he want to get dressed and go out? We can't go out together.

"So" he says. "Do you want to try something new?"

Now he moves his hand out of the water and takes both of mine in his, holding them by the wrists, together so I can't move them.

Oh.

He has a 'grey' tie. My mind goes back to our conversation in the elevator when he confessed that he read Fifty Shades of Grey. He wants to tie me up with his grey tie like in the book.

Oh.

I'm both excited and anxious.

"We don't have to" he says and tries to shift up.

I turn, splashing water onto the floor but I don't care, so that I can look at him.

"Yeah" is all I say.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah" I tell him and watch him smile.

The smile disappears and his eyes darken. His hand finds the back of my head and pulls me to him, hard, to capture my lips. Our lips meet; Sid plunders my lips with his tongue and explores my mouth. It's so incredibly hot and I feel my body quickly reacting again. I straddle Sid and sit up but he pushes me back now and sits up too.

"Come on" he says and helps me stand. He stands too and continues "I have plans for you and they're not here in the bath."

I shiver but I'm not sure if it's from the cool air on my wet skin or Sid's promise of 'plans' for me. He gets out of the tub and then helps me too before wrapping me in a towel. He gives himself a quick rub with his own towel before tying it around his waist and then dries me too. I secure the towel around my breasts and then follow Sid into the bedroom.

"Wait here" he tells me before disappearing into his closet. He comes back with a grey tie, as promised, and a bright smile on his face. "Ready?"

The site of Sid in nothing but a towel, still damp, provocatively holding the tie in his hands, has me all but dripping between my legs. All I can do is nod to answer him.

He walks closer to me and, with one finger, he releases my towel so that I'm naked and now insanely self-conscious. I know that he's seen me naked a few times now but to be standing in front of him completely naked in the daylight has me wilting under his gaze. I slightly turn away from him.

"Don't" Sid says and takes me by the shoulders so that I'm facing him again. "Don't turn away from me, ok?"

Again, I can only nod at him. He smiles and nods back then holds up the tie.

"Hands out" he tells me.

I hold out my arms in front of me with my wrists together. Sid takes them in one hand and uses the tie to wrap them with the other. When he finishes, he steps back and examines his work. He must be happy because he nods.

"Ok, on the bed, in the middle, head on the pillow" he tells me.

Awkwardly because my hands are tied, I climb onto the bed and lie as he has directed me. Sid climbs up after me and sits close to my head. His towel parts slight and I can see, oh my.

"Ok, slide down a little bit" he tells me. I do and then he says "A little more. Ok stop. Now hands over your head."

I follow his directions again and he pulls on the ends of the tie and does something at the headboard. He pulls a few times and I realize that I'm tethered to the bed in some way. Sid must notice my confusion.

"I can't tie it to the solid headboard so I tied it down where the bed frame attaches to it. Are you ok?" he asks.

I nod again. Sid gets off the bed and throws his towel on the floor with mine then puts his hands on his hips. I'm lost in feasting my eyes on his naked body. I'm lost deeper when I get to his eyes. They aren't on mine; but, instead he's feasting his own eyes on my naked body. My hips shift under his gaze and a shiver flows across my skin. If this is what he can do with his eyes then I can't wait until he's actually touching me.

Finally, his eyes find mine and he asks "blindfold too?"

I want to say yes, I'm desperate to say yes, but I can't answer him. Why am I still so embarrassed?

"Do you trust me?" he asks and I instantly nod. "Blindfold?"

I nod again and he smiles. He reaches into the dresser drawer and pulls out a sleep mask.

"I use this for afternoon naps" he tells me. "Ok, here we go."

He slips it over my head, rearranges my hair and then kisses my lips.

With his lips still against mine, he whispers "are you ok?"

I can't nod because he has my head captured so I say "yes."

"Good" he tells me and sits up.

I know he's still beside me but he doesn't move. I can feel my entire body flush under his scrutiny and wonder why I agreed to do this. It's exciting, very exciting, but there's nowhere to hide.

I gasp slightly when I feel Sid's finger trace my lips, they part and Sid slides his finger inside. I suck on it and swirl my finger around and around. I hear Sid groan softly and then loudly when I bite down.

He pulls his finger out and traces my lips again. That finger continues its travels over my cheeks, chin and neck. The other fingers join it as he explores my clavicle and the swells of my breasts but avoiding my nipples. They continue down my stomach and I begin to breathe faster. I let out a disappointing cry when he continues down one thigh and then up another one avoiding between my legs.

The bed shifts and I feel Sid's breath at my ear. I think he's lying beside me.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

"Good" I tell him.

His fingers trail down my side and over the sensitive skin at my waist.

"Just good?" he asks.

"Really good" I tell him.

He chuckles.

"What could make it better?" he asks.

"Touch me."

"I am."

"No, touch me there" I tell him.

"Where?" he asks and bites down on my ear lobe.

"Oh God" I say as his teeth sink in again.

"Tell me where Anna."

"Down there."

"Where Anna?"

He's going to make me say it. Between his breath at my ear, teeth occasionally biting my lobe and fingers running up and down my side, I stop caring about embarrassment and become desperate for his touch. Or maybe it's because I'm blindfolded and can't see him that makes me brave.

"Between my legs, I need you inside me, please Sidney."

I don't even recognize my own voice begging him. It feels like it's coming from someone else and it sounds more and more desperate with every word I speak.

"I'm not nearly ready for that yet but maybe I can do something for you" Sid tells me.

His hand pauses on my stomach and then slides down between my legs, finally, and then his fingers slip between my folds. I think I actually sigh when his fingers find my clit. Two of his fingers circle around and around slowly. I'm so wet that they move around easily and he keeps going on and on and on. My hips push up against his hand. I need more. I want more. I'm desperate for more.

"More, please" I beg him.

Sidney

I'm still regretting getting mad at Anna earlier. I just hate when she puts herself down and I hate even more the people who made her that way. If I ever meet her mother, it's going to take a lot of self-restraint not to take her head off.

As I look over Anna's naked body in front of me, undulating as I rub her clit, soft skin and curves, I know that I need to help this girl get over her insecurities. I've never been with a girl so responsive, so hot, and who makes me feel this way. I discovered how much I trust her through my conversation with my mom yesterday and I'm discovering how much she trusts me right now.

I keep up the pressure with my fingers and lean down to capture a nipple with my mouth. I wet it with my tongue and run around it in circles at the same pace as my fingers. Anna's hips begin to rotate at the same pace. I can feel her body tense so I ease back both fingers and lips.

"Sid" Anna whines and her hips seek my fingers again.

"Yes" I reply.

Her body relaxes slowly and I know the build-up of her orgasm has melted away. I've discovered that she has longer and more intense orgasms if I back off at first once or twice.

I lightly trail my fingers up and down the inside of her thighs and lean down to take her other nipple in my mouth. I alternate between lapping with my tongue, sucking, nipping with my teeth and then all over again. Anna's breathing picks up again and she's writhing everywhere my skin is touching hers.

I look up and see her mouth is open and her lips are forming a perfect 'O'. I can't resist so I slide up her body and kiss those perfect lips. They open quickly for my tongue and I slip mine in to duel with hers. While we continue to kiss, I slide my fingers between her legs again only this time I slip two inside of her.

"Ahhh" she cries out into my mouth but I don't release it.

Our lips are hungry and devour each other. My fingers are now soaked between Anna's legs and I know it must be dripping on the sheets. She is rising again, quickly, and I make the decision to make her cum this way before I slip inside of her.

It takes me a few tries but I push my fingers in as far as I can and search the front wall for the right spot. I know when I find it because Anna's lips leave mine, her head falls back and she moans that fucking sexy moan that nearly sets me off. I rub and push and she builds fast and hard. She screams when her orgasm hits her and it looks like it hits hard.

Sweat breaks out over her flushing skin and she stiffens and shakes at the same time. I barely realize that I've grabbed my dick and I'm stroking as I watch her. I'm getting close myself so I stop and move back. My dick is now soaked because I used the same hand that made her orgasm. It's really fucking hot. I have to remember to ask her about birth control so I don't have to use fucking condoms any more.

I grab one from my bedside drawer and quickly slip it on. Anna periodically shivers while she rides the end of her orgasm but I won't let her completely come down.

I quickly shift and position myself between her legs, lifting her hips so that she's tilting up onto my lap. With some guiding, I slam inside of her, hard and she cries out.

I stop immediately and am about to ask if she's ok when Anna says "more, please Sid, more."

I pull out and slam back into her again, and again, and again. Having her tied up and under my control is hot and it makes me even harder; but, I don't like that I can't see her eyes. It feels too impersonal. It's like it could be anyone and not my Anna.

I slam in and hold deep inside of her while I pull of her blindfold. Anna looks surprised and blinks to adjust to the light again.

"What?" Anna says.

"I want to see you" I tell her.

Anna smiles and says "untie me please. I need to touch you."

It takes amazing self-control but I reach over her head and down behind the mattress to release the tie. It only takes a few more moments and then her wrists are released too.

I pull Anna up so that she's sitting on my lap straddling me and then position myself at her entrance again. Slowly she sinks down so that I slide easily inside of her. Anna begins to rock and her head falls back and moans again. I grab her hips and thrust up to meet her. I increase the pace because I really can't wait any more before I explode and she needs to get there fast. With every thrust, she meets me and soon I'm feeling her wetness dripping onto my lap.

I can feel her body stiffen and thank God because I can't hold on any longer. I cum hard and hug her to me. Vaguely I'm aware of Anna crying out and her orgasm wash over her too.

When I open my eyes, we're lying on our sides and wrapped in each other's arms with breathing heavy and hearts beating fast. I lean my head back and brush the hair away from her damp, flushed face. Her eyes open, blink and then lock onto mine. They are bright green and soften when they focus on mine.

The words come out before I have time to process the thought.

"I love you Anna."


	23. Chapter 23

Anna

"I love you Anna."

I'm still breathing hard and my brain is trying to catch up to my body. I think I'm still shaking slightly from my orgasm, and wow was it incredible, so I slowly understand what Sid is saying.

Holy fuck! He just said that he loves me.

"No" comes from my lips with no brain involvement.

Sid's smile slides from his lips then he frowns and looks sad.

Oh God, I did that to him. He looked so happy and now destroyed. Sid tells me that he loves me and then I say 'no'. What have I done?

"Oh God" I think I say and pull away from Sid.

He makes a grab for me too late because I'm quickly off the bed and in the bathroom with the door closed. I must have stunned Sid for his reflexes to be so slow.

My brain, usually quick, can't process everything that's happening and what I'm feeling. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. My hair is a disaster, my make-up too, and my body is flush and has red marks from Sid's lips, tongue, hands, who knows?

First, I pull out the elastic from my hair and smooth it back into a pony tail again. Next, cold water and some soap on my face takes care of the make-up issue. When I'm done, I slide down to the cool tile and lean back against the cabinets. For a moment, I pull my knees up to my chest, rest my forehead on them and cry.

When I'm finished, I wipe my tears and nose and try to make sense of how I'm feeling. The problem is that I'm still processing and that's when Sid knocks on the door.

"Anna?" he says. "Are you ok baby?"

I'm naked, sitting on his bathroom floor because I ran from an 'I love you', after having the best sex of my life. Oh, and possible hurting the only person in the world I would never, ever want to hurt. I'm completely not 'ok.'

I don't know how to answer Sid and, since I've remained silent, Sid knocks again.

"Anna, I'm worried and I'm coming in".

Oh no, he's coming in and I still don't know what the hell is going on. As promised, he slowly opens the door and walks into the bathroom. He's still naked too and I'm momentarily distracted by how good he looks, that is, until I see his eyes. Sid is definitely hurt and worried.

"What's going on?" he asks me. "Are you ok?"

I take a deep breath. I guess I'm going to be processing out loud since I have no idea what the hell is going on but Sid needs an answer. He deserves an answer.

"No, I'm not ok" I tell him. He looks more worried and I feel guiltier. I'm doing absolutely nothing right. "Sid, God, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry" is all I can think of because I am.

"Don't be sorry" he tells me and sits leaning up against the tub facing me. "Tell me what's going on. Talk to me baby."

I do an inventory and identify a little of what I'm feeling.

"Sid, I'm scared, terrified actually. And I feel so bad that I reacted like that. It was horrible; actually, worse than horrible. I'm so sorry."

"Seriously Anna, stop being sorry and talk to me. Why are you scared?"

"You overwhelm me Sidney. I never could have dreamed to be with a man like you. To have you trust me and to trust you so much to have done" I wave at the bedroom "that with you before with the tie and everything. I've never experienced anything like that ever. I didn't even, you know, every time I had sex before you. You. Who could have ever thought that you'd want me this way? Before you yell at me, I'm telling you how I feel and this is how I'm feeling. You can't tell me not to feel this way. I'm trying but there's no switch, ok?"

I say it more vehemently than I intend and Sid simply nods.

"Anyway, Sid, you have to understand something." I take a deep breath. "Sid, no one has ever said that to me."

Sid frowns and asks "you mean no guy has ever told you that he loves you?"

"No, I mean yes, you're right that no guy has; but, I mean that no one ever has."

"You mean no one?" he asks incredulously. "Not even your parents."

"Not really, no. My mother has said it in public like 'I love my daughters'. My father is the same. Sometimes he's said it but he doesn't even really know me, how can you love someone that you don't even know. My mother doesn't even like me so there's no way that she really loves me." I gather my courage and look at Sid. He looks surprised, stunned really. "Only you Sidney."

I watch Sid process what I've just said and I realize what's wrong with me. It's a combination of what happened last spring, not believing that Sid really wants me and hearing, for the first time in my life, a meaningful 'I love you'. No wonder I'm a disaster.

Sid's expression softens and I feel my eyes getting wet.

"Can we get up off of this cold floor?" Sid asks. "I think my sack may be permanently frozen if we stay here much longer."

The sudden change of conversation, and the mention of his balls, has me giggling.

"Yeah" I tell him.

"Good" he stands and then holds out his hand to me.

I take it and let him pull me up so that I'm in front of him. Sid cups my face and rubs his thumb gently over my cheek. That's the last thing I can take. I burst into tears, wrap my arms around Sid's waist and bury my face in his chest.

I feel Sid's arms come around me and his hand gently strokes my hair as I cry. It seems that I didn't expel all of my tears earlier. I had to wait until it was a most embarrassing moment and I could cry on Sid.

When I'm done, Sid pulls me back and wipes my tears away.

"Would you like a tissue?" he asks me.

I nod and Sid grabs me one from the counter for me. After I clean myself up, Sid pulls me back into his arms.

"You silly girl" he says and kisses the top of my head. "You need to talk to me. I can't understand unless you talk to me baby."

He pulls away and cups both of my cheeks with his hands.

"I love you Anna" he says and kisses me.

I think I actually hear a 'click' when everything locks into place. I'm standing naked is Sidney Crosby's bathroom, wrapped in his arms and hearing him say four little words that will forever be tattooed on my heart.

I push his arms away so that I can cup his cheeks.

"And I love you Sidney" I tell him.

I watch Sid's eyes darken and his lips part.

"Say it again" he demands.

"I. Love. You." I tell him and punctuate each word with a kiss.

"Again" he demands and pulls me close so that our lips are only a breath from each other.

"I love you Sidney" I tell him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, they bore into mine before Sid pulls me the last bit so that his lips take mine. He kisses me like we've never kissed before and may never again. It's as if he's branding me or making sure that I'm real. When he pulls away, Sid rests his forehead on mine and we both try to catch our breath.

"I need you" he says, takes my hand and pulls me back to the bedroom.

Sid climbs onto the bed and takes me with him so that we are under the covers and facing each other. I can feel his breath on my face and my hands warm in his.

"I really am sorry Sid" I tell him. "I should have told you that I loved you too. Instead, I freaked out and hurt you and I'm very sorry."

"I know baby. Let's put it all aside, ok? We love each other. That's what is important right now and that's all that is important to me. This relationship is a first for both of us and there's going to be bumps along the way but you have to be honest with me about everything. Even if you think I won't like it, you have to be honest with me so that we deal with whatever it is together. We have trust if nothing else, ok?"

I'm overwhelmed by his words and these ones scare me as much his 'I love you' does. Quickly, I push it all out of my mind.

"And we have love too" I tell him and kiss him.

"Yes" he says and kisses me back. "Yes we have love."

He pulls me closers and gives me the most tender, sweet, deep kiss full of love that I have ever experienced. It pulls at my heart and somewhere deeper, somewhere more carnal, which grows as I feel his erection against my thigh.

Sid pulls away slightly and says "I do love you Anna. So very, very much."

This wonderful man has given me everything good in my life right now. For the first time I feel loved, truly loved; but, it's more than love. He makes me feel like I am whole and like I have great value for who I am and not who my parents are. I want to give him something, do something for him, to show him how I love him.

Slowly, I slide my hands from his and up his chest. I feel his muscles quiver under my touch and it makes me bolder. When I push slightly against his chest, Sid looks puzzled but allows me to push him to his back. I follow him until I'm straddling his body. For a moment I'm lost in the feelings racing through me when he pushes up against my centre. How easy it would be to guide him inside and fulfill both of our needs; but, I have other plans. Now if I'm only courageous enough to carry them out.

I lean down and kiss Sid slowly and deeply. His groan urges me on so I slide my tongue past his lips to parry with his. He tastes so, well, male and it speaks to a primitive part of me that I've never explored until now. I've never even known that it existed inside of me until Sid.

His lips are tasty but I have another goal in mind so I move my lips from his and kiss down his chin, neck and then chest. Again, I pause here and explore. I kiss around his nipple and leave little licks before I capture it in my mouth. I run my tongue around and around then suck and then repeat. Sid groans beneath me and I feel his stomach contract under my breasts. His response causes my nipples to harden too and feel it deep, settling between my legs.

I repeat my actions on his other nipple and feel and hear Sid's response again. It makes me bolder, knowing that I'm pleasing him, so I move my body down his body and kiss over his stomach then trace the muscles there. Oh my, he shivers and groans. Ok, here goes.

I slide further so that I'm kneeling between his legs and take the base of his penis in my hand the way he showed me that time in the shower. Again I'm surprised by how hard and smooth it is at the same time.

"Anna" Sid sighs my name, his eyes closed and his head is thrown back.

I slide my hand up and back down but it feels different and not as easy to do as in the shower. Oh, right, the water made it slippery. I lick my hand so that it's wet and then repeat my actions. My hand moves much easier now and Sid groans. I love watching him. He's feeling this pleasure because of me and it's such a turn on.

My hand is getting dry again so I screw up my courage and lean down. With my tongue, I lick the tip of his penis while holding the base. It's a little salty but not as unpleasant as I thought it would be.

"Anna!" I hear Sid's hoarse voice say my name suddenly.

"Oh" I say and sit up. "Am I not doing it right?"

Sid chuckles and I know that I'm turning red. Why did I think that I could do this?

"You know that you don't have to do this, right?"

What does he mean?

"But I want to" I tell him feeling a little hurt.

Doesn't he want me to do it?

"Anna, I only mean that you're kind of new to this so I don't want you to think that I have expectations that you do anything you don't want to do."

"Ok" is all I can say since I still don't understand.

"Do you want to?" he asks me.

I know that I'm turning bright red, everywhere, and feel embarrassed again. I can't look him in the eyes when I answer.

"Yes" I almost whisper.

"Oh thank God" he says and chuckles.

My eyes fly to his. I'm still confused.

"I want it too Anna. I love everything we do with each other but don't want you to feel uncomfortable, you know?"

I finally get it.

"You liked it?" I ask. I can hear the unease in my voice.

"Fuck yes" he says and I smile at his enthusiasm. "In fact" he begins and then gestures down to his penis.

Encouraged, I reach for him again, hold the base in my hand and stare at it wondering what to do next. He seemed to like it when I licked him so I lean down and lick the tip again. My tongue is wet and it transfers to the tip making it easy to run my tongue around and around like he's my own private lollipop.

Ok, time to take him into my mouth so I lean further.

"Anna" Sid says and I look up at him. "Cover your teeth" he tells.

Oh, yeah, I guess teeth wouldn't feel good against that part of his body, so I sheath my teeth with my lips and take in the tip. Slowly I push down, taking him in deep, until he hits the back of my throat. I cough a little, pull back slightly, then run my tongue around the tip. There's a lot to focus on: teeth, throat, tongue, hand at the base. Then I hear Sid's groan and he falls back so that he's lying on the bed again.

"Oh fuck Anna."

I'm making him feel this way; me. Wow. I slide him into my mouth deeper and then back out. I continue slowly in and out, in and out, while Sid continues to groan. It is the sexiest sound that I've ever heard in my entire life. I'm getting wetter every time he groans. I speed up, Sid groans and I taste something salty again. it's odd because he hasn't cum yet although he's getting even harder. I feel his muscles tightening.

"Anna, please, stop. I don't want to cum in your mouth."

I sit up as does Sid. His eyes are wild and I can tell that he's barely holding himself back from whatever he wants to do. Suddenly, especially after what we did in bed earlier, I want him to do those things to me.

I throw myself into Sid's arms and take his lips in a hard kiss. Every muscle in his body is tight, hard and quivering. He's holding back and I don't want him to any more.

I pull my lips from his and say into his ear "let go. Take me."

Where the hell did that come from?

I don't have time to figure it out because Sid does exactly what I told him to do, he let's go and takes over. I can actually see the moment it happens and then I can't focus on anything anymore. Sid has me pinned to the bed with his hard body and his lips attack mine again. I can hardly catch up. His hand slides down my body quickly, he pushes my legs apart and two fingers roughly push inside of me. I come off the bed with a scream. He finds that spot quickly and I'm screaming again and again. I'm only vaguely aware that Sid leaves me for a moment; such is the overwhelming pleasure that washes over me. Electricity is running over my skin and I shake hard.

I don't have time to recover before Sid is on top of me again and thrusting inside of me. I grab onto his shoulders and try to match Sid's speed but it's hard to do. Again, again, again, he thrusts, over and over and over.

The only sounds in the room are Sid's grunts, my moans and our bodies slapping against each other clearly with a lot of moisture between us. I feel like I may rip in two at the pressure of his thrusts and the pleasure that quickly explodes again. I hear Sid cry out my name and then I'm aware of nothing as my orgasm over takes me.

Sidney

When I wake up, I'm alone in the bed. Anna is gone and the bedroom door is closed. The bathroom door is open so she's not in there. Did she leave? Sitting up in bed I notice that my clothes and Anna's are folded and sitting on the dresser. She must still be here. A sigh of relief escapes me.

I flop back on the bed and reflect on everything that's happened this morning. It was probably predictable that Anna would freak out when I told her that I love her; although, it wasn't for the reason I suspected. My heart breaks a little for her. No one has ever told her, genuinely, that they love her? How is that possible? How is it that her mother, father, sister, have never expressed love for this wonderfully lovable girl? It breaks my heart.

Hot too. This girl is insanely hot. I still can't believe that she gave me a blow job. Her mixture of innocence and sexiness drives me insane and my dick twitches in memory. The trust she places in me is humbling.

My stomach grumbles and I look at the clock. Shit, it's 1pm already. No wonder I'm hungry. Of course it could have something to do with the 'activities' of the morning.

I'm quickly up, dressed and downstairs looking for Anna. I know that she's in the kitchen because I hear her voice. Is someone else here? Oh, she's pauses after she's says something so she must be on the phone. I don't mean to eavesdrop but the next thing she says has me stopping before I walk into the kitchen.

"Mom I'm so sorry but I need to be in Pittsburgh."

Silence.

"This isn't a regular job mom. We don't get Thanksgiving off, at least not enough that I can fly home."

Silence.

"I'm sorry that it causes trouble for you. I would be there if I could."

Silence.

More silence.

More silence.

"Yes ma'am."

More silence.

"Yes, we have three days off at Christmas and I can come home then."

Silence.

"I really am sorry mom. I wasn't trying to be selfish by taking this job. I thought it would be ok since dad wouldn't announce he's running until the season was over."

Silence.

While this is illuminating, I feel guilty that I'm hearing this without Anna knowing that I'm here so I walk into the kitchen ensuring that I make some noise so she hears me.

"I have to go mom" she puts up one finger and gives me an apologetic look. I kiss her cheek as I walk by her to get some water from the fridge. "Ok, bye mom."

She disconnects and puts her phone on the counter.

"Water?" I ask and hold out a bottle for her.

"Thanks" she says.

We each lean against the counter facing each other.

"Problems with your family?" I ask.

She shrugs and picks at the label on her water bottle.

"Yeah. My mother wants to have a photo shoot of the family celebrating Thanksgiving and my not being there is a disaster of epic proportion."

"I don't get it."

"Sid, a big part of my dad's appeal to the public is that he has traditional family values. It's hard to have family values without your family."

"I would think he'd be proud that his daughter is chasing her dreams and doing it successfully. Isn't that something to celebrate? He has a gorgeous, brilliant and loving daughter?"

Anna purses her lips, places her bottle on the counter and walks over to hug me. Her arms go around my waist and her head lies on my chest. I hug her back and hold her tight to my chest.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what is this for?" I ask.

"Just knowing the right thing to say at the right time."

I kiss the top of her head and then she tilts her face up to mine so I kiss her lips. The kiss quickly heats and deepens. Anna's hands slip under my shirt and up my back. I push her back until she's against the counter again and lift her up. Her legs naturally open so that I can push against her. It takes no more time for me to be completely lost in the kiss and Anna.

My stomach rumbles loud enough that we pull apart and Anna laughs.

"I guess I'm kinda hungry" I tell her.

"I was looking for something to make for lunch when my mother called."

I can't resist her lips, so close to mine, so I take a few soft kisses. When I pull away, I notice what Anna is wearing.

"My shirt and sweatpants look good on you."

They really do look good on her. Seeing her wearing my 'property of the penguins' tee shirt makes it feel like she's mine.

"I didn't know if the pants would fit over my hips but they seem to work."

"With my ass?" I tell her. "I need a lot of room in pants."

She giggles. I love that sound. It's beautiful.

"Ok" she says and pushes me back so she can jump off of the counter. "I'm hungry too. Let's see what you have in the fridge."

She finds the food I brought home for dinner last night and we decide that left overs will be great for lunch. Knowing that I'm hopeless in the kitchen, Anna sends me to set the table and then directs me how to help her get the heated food on the table. As I walk around her, I sneak a kiss on the side of her neck and squeeze her gorgeous ass. It's so comfortable having her here. That's a little disconcerting. I've never truly felt this comfortable having someone share my personal space.

We eat and chat about nothing really important. Anna's phone rings while we're finishing up our lunch.

"I'm sorry Sid. I have to take this" she tells me and answers her phone. "Hi Mathew, how are you?"

Who's Mathew? Why is he calling Anna?

"You really didn't have to go to all of that trouble. I appreciate it but we only need some of the information about what to do next."

What did he do for her? Why is he going to a lot of trouble for her?

"Really? That doesn't sound right. Are they simply making things up now?"

She sounds annoyed. It must be a good thing that she's annoyed although she doesn't sound annoyed with 'Mathew' whoever he is.

"So what do you think we can do? Geno is willing to do whatever he can which I assume, with this government, means cash, right?"

Geno? This is about Geno? Now I'm really curious.

"Hang on a minute" Anna says into the phone and turns to me. "Do you have something to right with and on?"

I get a paper and pen for her and she mouths a 'thank you' before going back to her call.

"Ok, spell that." She writes down a name, Russian by the looks of it, and then a phone number. "Thank you so much Mathew. You really went above and beyond on this one and I appreciate it."

She disconnects the call and then hits a few buttons.

"Sorry Sid, I'll be just a few more minutes."

I smile and continue to eat my lunch.

"Geno, I just heard about your brother's visa."

Oh, she's helping Geno with his brother. Mathew must be someone that she knows in the government. Maybe he's at her father's office.

"We know what's going on but it's not good. Is it possible that the government is targeting your brother because there's something they want you to do or something that you did?"

She's quiet for a few moments. I haven't heard Geno speak of it often, but when he has talked about the government's power to keep people in or out of Russia, the stories have sounded scary.

"For hockey? You're kidding me Geno. All of this is so that you'll play hockey?"

She shakes her head and looks incredulous. This can't be good for Geno or his brother.

"Ok, so the person helping me couldn't ask what it would take to make the issue go away because it's illegal; but, he was told that the problem could be taken care of with some cash. If the government behaves like you're saying then you could probably 'buy' the visa for your brother."

She looks at me apologetically. Anna places her fork on her plate and pushes it away. While she's still talking with Geno, I clear the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

As I'm finishing, I hear Anna say "ok, I'll leave it with you. I'm sorry but I can't help you any more given what you are going to do."

She says goodbye and disconnects the call.

"I'm sorry that you had to clean up alone" she tells me as she stands up.

"It's ok" I tell her and fold her into my arms. "I think I caught what's going on."

"Yeah, Geno's parents have their visas for the US but the Russian government is holding back his brother's and wouldn't tell them anything. I asked my father's deputy chief of staff if he would look into it for us."

"And he was able to help?" I ask.

"Yeah. Basically, at the Olympics, the KHL tried to get Geno to leave the NHL and play in Russia. They weren't happy when he said no so they have been harassing his brother. He's experienced their version of a tax audit, he's been levied fines for stupid things and now they are holding back his visa."

"So they're telling him to bribe them?"

"Essentially, yes. They can bribe the local officials to approve the visa and he'll be on his way to the US before the government figures out what is happening. Hopefully everything will blow over while he's here."

I pull back and look down at her. Anna frowns, probably because she wishes that she can do more, and shakes her head.

"That's no way to run a country."

She's so cute. She's actually offended because they don't have a good democratic government.

"He'll figure it out" I tell her.

"Of course he will. They're too used to bribing officials there not to know exactly how to do it; but, he shouldn't have to do it. It's crazy."

Not only is she helping Geno with the media, which is her job, but she's also helping him with his foundation and now his brother's visa. Is there anything this girl can't do?

"What?" she asks and looks up at me.

"I think you're amazing" I tell her.

Her frown is erased, her eyes soften and she smiles.

"Anyone would do it if they could. I'm lucky that I know someone who can help."

"It's more than that Anna. Sure, you were able to call someone on your dad's staff who has enough power to find out what's going on, but not everyone would offer to help like that. Most would simply tell Geno that they can't help him because it's Russia and he would accept it. Not you."

"Oh, well, I want to help him if I can."

"I know and that's really sweet" I tell her then kiss her.

As usual, the quick kiss I intended, quickly heats and deepens. Soon Anna is clinging to me and I lift her so that she's wrapped around me.

I walk us through the kitchen and then to the stairs. I stop and let Anna slide down my body. I love the feel of her soft curves against my body so I hold her close until she's standing on the step and the same height as me.

"You know, that's the first complement I've given you and you haven't argued with me" I tell her.

"Really?"

"Yes" I kiss her nose "really" and then I kiss her lips. "You know, it's only 2pm. What would you like to do this afternoon?"

She blushes and gives me a shy smile. Yeah, I know what she wants to do this afternoon. Good thing because it's the same thing that I want to do too.

I dip down and lift Anna over my shoulder. As I carry her up the stairs, she smacks my ass as she giggles. I've never felt so happy.


	24. Chapter 24

Anna

'Meet me in east conference room at lunch'

I woke up to that text on my phone. The problem is that it's not Sid or even Geno. It's Meagan. What could she possible want to talk to me about? Since that horrible elevator ride, I've been avoiding her as much as possible. What could she possibly want? It's been such a wonderful few weeks since Sid and I said we love each other. The time has been filled with work and sex and lots and lots of both.

Adam has noticed how 'chipper' I am – his word – and has correctly guessed that it's a guy. I asked him to leave it alone and he has respected my wishes much to my surprise initially. Adam's become a good friend and I really don't want to lie to him. He must guess that it's a player since I won't say anything but I bet he thinks its Geno. No one seems to understand my relationship with the Russian. I guess it's because he hasn't bonded with anyone outside of some of the players. I think that he's just misunderstood and people don't realize that a lack of language skills doesn't mean stupid.

It's still quiet in the office. I love this time of the morning when there is no one here but me. There's the equipment guys downstairs, I'm almost sure they never leave, but they don't usually come up to the offices. I look up when I hear someone and, like my thinking about him made him appear, here comes Dana.

"Good morning Dana" I tell him as he draws closer.

"Hi Anna. I thought that you would be here. How would you like to be part of a prank?"

Surprised, I ask "against whom?"

"Stewie" he tells me.

Chris Stewart is the head trainer and there is a huge contest going on between the trainers and equipment teams this season. They keep trying to top each other in practical jokes and pranks. Do I really want to get involved in it? Dana's grin and wiggling eyebrows convinces me.

"Ok, what do you need me to do?" I ask.

He explains the prank to me and it sounds very funny. Apparently, Chris' wife posted a picture on Instagram of Chris playing Barbie with his daughter. It's a composite photo so it shows him dressing one of the dolls, making her walk and showing her off to the camera. He has to know that something is coming from the guys. This is not something that they'll let slide. They've decided to fill Chris' office with Barbie dolls. They have heads that they'll hang from the ceiling, full dolls dressed in a variety of outfits and they even have a few Ken dolls too.

"We need you to keep Chris up here. He can't be at ice level. We have hundreds and hundreds of these dolls to bring in and there's no way to disguised them" he tells me.

"Ok, how am I supposed to keep him busy?"

"You can think of something, can't you?"

I think about it for a few moments and come up with an idea.

"What if I make up some article that the Trib wants to write about trainers? I could say that they want to interview trainers from the Pens, Pirates and Steelers."

"That's perfect!" Dana tells me with a big smile.

"How long do you need me to stall him?"

"If we can get a bunch of guys to help, we think twenty minutes might do it."

"Ask Flower and Pascal to help. They're always up for a prank" I tell him.

"Yeah, Duper is one of the guys bringing a bag of the dolls. This is going to be epic."

"What time do you need him gone?" I ask.

"Can you do it in about twenty minutes?"

I look at my schedule and juggle a few things.

"I can do that. Why don't I go down and get him? I can pretend that I left my tablet on my desk so we have to meet up here to meet. That should work."

"You may be quiet but you're sneaky Anna."

"High praise from a prankster like yourself. I just want a promise that you won't prank me and that you'll tell me if someone else is planning something. Ok?"

"You got it, ok."

Dana goes back downstairs and I return to my desk. I send the morning text to Geno reminding him of his schedule for the day. I chuckle when he sends back 'go away'. It's his usual response to my calendar reminders. It always makes me smile. A few more emails need to be returned and then it's time to go downstairs.

Adam comes in and says "Good morning. Where are you rushing off to? I have to tell you about this guy I met at Starbucks. Yummy."

I want to hear about Adam's newest boy but I have a prank to support.

I lower my voice and say "I'm helping the guys with a prank on Stewie. I have to bring him up here for twenty minutes or so. Go downstairs and help the guys with their prank but don't tell anyone. It will look suspicious if everyone leaves."

"Cool" he says and rushes to his desk to rid himself of his coat and bag.

We travel down together but there are others in the elevator with us so I can't tell Adam anything further. We go our separate ways after exiting the elevator and I go about finding Chris. I find him in the lounge.

"Chris, good morning" I tell him.

He looks slightly surprised, we don't talk much, but replies "good morning."

I notice the plate of food in his hands and decide to make that work for me.

"I'm just going to grab a plate myself but I have something to talk to you about. It's a story we've been pitched about training staff. Can we take a few minutes to chat while we have our breakfasts?"

I try for nonchalant as I fill up my plate with food I shouldn't eat. It's healthy but I've already had breakfast.

"Sure" he replies. "We can talk in my office."

Shit. I didn't jump in fast enough with the location.

"Actually, sorry to do this, but can we grab a meeting room upstairs? I left my tablet there."

I give him an apologetic look, smile and look hopeful. Yep, he's bought it.

"Sure" he tells me and we walk to the elevator.

I start my lie-a-thon on the way to the meeting room and then continue throughout breakfast. I feel a little guilty as Chris begins to get excited. This afternoon I'll have to check with a few of the media guys and see if they want to do a blog post about our trainers.

We finish breakfast and I see that it's been long enough for the guys to do their worst. Chris offers to take my plate down with him but I want to see this for myself so I make up an excuse about seeing Geno.

We part in the players' lounge and I can tell that all of the guys must know and are trying to look innocent. Chris must be really focused on something because he doesn't notice and I would think a blind man could see the excitement in the room. When Chris leaves, Marc comes up to me.

"Perfect timing, merci" he says.

"De rien" I tell him. "Did you really fill the office?"

"Yeah, come on" he replies and takes my arm.

Marc leads me down the hall silently and the rest of the guys follow us.

"Holy mother fucking shit!"

I know immediately that Chris is yelling from around the corner. I follow Marc and the scene in front of me is hilarious. Chris is standing in the hall with one hand on his hip and another on his head. He's about one foot deep around his feet are Barbie dolls. Some have clothes on but most are naked. As we get close enough to see inside of the office, I'm stunned. The office is full of Barbies about three feet deep. What is truly creepy is the dozens of Barbies, heads only, hanging by strings from the ceiling.

"You!" Chris says when he turns and sees me. His finger is pointing and he walks towards me, trampling some of the dolls. "You were in on this, weren't you?"

I give him my most innocent look and I see doubt slowly fall over his face. Hmm, he's buying it. The truth will come out at some point but for now I'm playing the innocent intern.

Chris turns to Marc and starts berating him and then Kris Letang. I take advantage of the situation and retreat back down the hall away from the scene of the crime. When I've turned the corner, I can finally let the giggles out that I've been holding in. I actually have to stop and lean against the wall I'm laughing so hard.

"What funny? I no see you yet this morning" I hear Geno say.

I wipe the tears from under my eyes and, between giggles, I tell him to go look in Chris' office. Geno, Patric and a few other guys go down the hall. I see Sid now that most of the guys are gone and he just raises his eyebrow. I can't talk anymore so I just point and laugh.

Laughter and joking ensues when all of the guys are at Chris' office. Of course that has me giggling again when I remember how creepy it looked and how horrified Chris looked. Oh God, this is quite the prank. I really hope my name stays out of things as they discover who is responsible. Now I really need to make sure that there is an article about the trainers to cover my own ass or make up for my part in the prank. It was totally worth it though.

When I'm finally able to find some composure, I go back up to the bull pen and my desk. The guys only have meetings and a workout today so there is no media availability. I can finally catch up on all the little things that I need to do but never seem to have the time. Of course I also have that noon 'meeting' with Meagan. That alone made me want to call in sick today but I've never done that and never will. I'll deal with whatever she has to tell me. Sid and I are in love and it makes me feel like there's nothing that I can't handle. No matter what has happened in the past, we are in the present now and happy.

"What to grab some lunch?"

I look up and Adam is standing beside me. Wow, its lunch already. The morning went by very quickly, too quickly, and now I have a much less desirable lunch 'date.'

"Thanks Adam but I've got something planned already" I tell him. To prevent and interrogation of what my plans are, I quickly continue "did you get to see Chris Stewart's office?"

"Some of it had been cleaned up but everyone had pictures to show. And those tiny heads hanging from the ceiling are freaky. I'll have nightmares for sure. A little birdie said that you were involved?"

"Oh, would I ever do that?" I ask and wiggle my eyebrows.

"Ha" is his response and he leaves for lunch.

I guess it's time to face Meagan so I leave my desk. I walk down the hall feeling like I'm being led to a firing squad. I have no idea what Meagan wants to talk to me about but it must be something big. If all she had was more catty remarks than she could do that anywhere and anytime. Instead, she wanted to meet with me, alone and at lunch when the office is mostly empty.

When I walk into the meeting room, I see that Meagan hasn't arrived yet. I sit down and smooth out my skirt. She'll feel like she has the upper hand when she comes in and sees that I'm sitting down. She'll probably remain standing so that she feels more powerful. When people are comfortable and feel powerful, they let their guard down and sometimes things can slip out that they don't want you to see. Wow, the things that you learn on the campaign trail.

She makes me wait five minutes, another ploy of course, before she breezes in with a flip of her hair and closes the door.

"On time of course" she sneers at me.

I remain silent. She will not get me to engage in a 'mean girl' fight no matter what she does. I'm not here to fight or argue with her. In fact, I don't yet know why I'm here.

"Such a goody two shoes" she sneers again.

She leans on one of the high backed chairs at the table and places the other hand on her hip cocked out artfully. Everything about this woman screams 'attention whore'.

"So, I'm sure you've been wondering why I called this little tête à tête." She chuckles at her use of French, impressed with herself. "I couldn't stop thinking about our little chat in the elevator the other day. You remember that, don't you?"

"I do" is the first thing I've spoken and I keep my voice modulated evenly. "I believe you called me a whore."

"Clever" she chuckles. "A whore is a good summary for what I've said. The problem is that I couldn't figure out if you were fucking Geno or Mario."

"I remember. Meagan, if this chat is for you to rehash that conversation then I'm leaving. I have no interest in it."

"Oh, I have something new, trust me" she replies. The way she sounds so gleeful has a shiver running down my spine. This doesn't seem good. "So, I had to go back to my desk that night after our elevator chat because I forgot something. To my surprise, I see you walking down the hall towards the executive wing. Finally I was going to find out exactly who you're fucking and surprise, surprise, you walk directly into Mario's office."

I maintain my expression but I can feel all of the blood drain from my face. Is she going to think that this is proof? Is she going to tell everyone what she saw? This is bad, really, very bad.

"You didn't shut the door, which surprised me, but you're so fucking entitled that you probably figured you didn't need to. It was interesting that, as I got closer, I heard you and Mario talking. Sure you're boring enough to have conversation before sex but I decided to listen."

Now I know why I felt the dread earlier. She heard our conversation. She heard everything that Mario and I said to each other. This means that she knows. She knows. Oh my God, she knows.

"Ah, I see that you remember the conversation. I didn't think you had it in you but you weren't fucking Geno or Mario because you had your eyes on the big prize. You're fucking Crosby!"

I feel cold and hot at the same time. I shiver and sweat. Meagan could get me fired, and worse, the backlash on Sid and the Pens would be horrible especially if she says that Mario covered it up. Oh God, my dad's run for President! The press that his daughter is having an affair with a hockey star, and an affair meaning sex, would be worse than bad.

"I knew it was something. It wasn't just because you're the Governor's daughter who is the best friend of the team's owner. Geno is just too goofy and doesn't really have the power to get you everything you're getting. I should have known it was Sid. The face of not only the Pens but the NHL could literally give you everything you want. I wouldn't have thought you were a good lay but maybe Sid has low standards. I mean you're hardly attractive enough for him so you must be a good fuck. Ha, who would have thought little mousy Anna was a good fuck. I wonder what Jen would think if I told her. I could go to Moorehouse and let him deal with it. But I don't think they'd do anything. That's why you are so smart to fuck Crosby. They couldn't possible let it get out. But a quiet leak to the press, maybe TMZ would even pay for the news, and no one could trace it back to me. How would daddy react to a story of his good little girl fucking a rink rat, huh?"

She final winds down and watches me while laughing. I can't move. I can't think beyond how truly screwed I am. She hasn't even asked me for anything to keep quiet.

"Nothing? You have absolutely nothing to say?" she asks.

"What do you want?" is all I can say.

"Cutting right to the chase huh? I suspect you've done this before as a politician's kid. What do I want? Hmmm"

She's enjoying this, a lot. I'm terrified. Everything was going so well and now it's turned to shit. For the first time I wonder if I could get away with murder.

"I'll have to think about what I want to stay quiet. Right now, just the look on your face makes me giddy. I'll give some thought to what I want and I'll let you know. Well, I'm late for a lunch date" she says. With a toss of her hair she says "ciao" and leaves the room.

Oh God, what am I going to do? I know what I'm going to do first as I empty the contents of my stomach into the garbage can.

Sidney

"Why are you so fucking happy?" Tanger chirps me. I ignore him so he continues "seriously man. You're whistling and haven't stopped smiling, even through the wind sprints."

"He got laid" Perron yells across the room. "That's the only thing that can make a guy smile through wind sprints."

"Oh oh oh, and what have we here" Tanger says as he grabs my shoulder and spins me so he can see my back. "Distinct nail marks. Perry right."

Oh no, I remember the exact moment when Anna dug her fingers into my back and moaned out her orgasm. I can't help but grin at the thought.

"Yep, laid" Perron says.

I ignore them and put my shirt on. They may chirp me about it but I know they won't pressure to know more. The one thing that everyone on the team respects is that I like my private life to remain private. That doesn't mean I won't be chirped every second of every day. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had more than a hickey before and only faint ones.

I don't care about the chirping or the wind sprints. I'm making dinner for Anna tonight at her place and I'm anxious about poisoning her. Mom sent me a recipe for her baked chicken and green bean casserole that she says is fool proof and when it comes to cooking I'm definitely a fool. It does look simple enough. There's a lot of prep but then you just put it all in the oven and time it. The salad is easy to do and I just need to pick up some fresh bread. She gave me her key so that I can get dinner started while she finishes working. I hope she likes some of the other plans I have for us tonight too.

I walk out with Duper and he waits until we're alone walking to our cars before he speaks.

"So it's true" he says.

I don't want to lie to him so I just nod.

"Who?" he asks. I don't answer so he asks again "who is she?"

I sigh. I guess he already knows that there is someone. Knowing who it is won't make much more difference.

"It's Anna" I tell him softly so it doesn't echo in the parking structure.

"Really?" he replies. "Hmm, I guess I always thought that you be with someone more outgoing."

"Really? She is, when you get her alone. She's had to be quiet and circumspect in her life. It kind of tramps down your natural instincts, you know?"

"Now I see why it's her."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"She's you" he replies. "Having a public persona that's you but not fully you. I guess she learned that since her dad's in politics huh?"

I don't know why I'm still surprised when Duper is so insightful. I guess we joke around so much that I forget how well he knows me and how well he can read people. He probably knew that it was Anna and was just shitting me about being surprised.

"Yeah, we have a lot in common" I tell him.

He claps me on the back and we each go to our own cars. Before Duper gets in he calls to me.

"I am glad you're getting laid kid" he says and gets into his car.

I'm still chuckling when I drive away. First stop is at Whole Foods where I pick up the last few bits of groceries and, at the last minute, I decide to get flowers too. Oh, and chocolate sauce.

The doorman recognizes me when I carry my groceries in. It doesn't take me long to get upstairs and into her apartment. I know it's small but it feels larger with the high ceilings and bright walls. It always feels homey.

After unpacking all of the groceries, I look up the emailed recipes on my phone then place it on the counter. I have to laugh when I read it. Mom even tells me to wash my hands first. I want to make fun of her but I was about to start without doing just that so it was probably a good reminder.

The rest of the recipes are just as specific and detailed which makes them easy to follow. There is so much chopping that I nearly take a couple fingers off but only manage to nick my thumb.

I take in my surroundings after placing everything in the oven. I think the food is going to taste good but I'm a fucking mess when I cook. The kitchen is a disaster and it's going to take a while to clean it up. It's a good thing that I have time before Anna comes home.

It takes time and a lot of elbow grease for me to put the kitchen back together. Next I set the table and arrange the flowers. The flowers look happy but disorganized. Oh well, Anna will appreciate the effort, I hope.

Anna texts to say that she's on her way which gives me just enough time in the bedroom.

First, I move the brightly coloured pillows that always cover the bed and then I pull down the duvet and sheets. I place the blindfold, grey tie and chocolate sauce beside the bed. It will definitely be worth breaking my training to lick up some chocolate off of Anna's delicious body.

I hear the key in the door and quickly jog down the hall to meet Anna as she comes in.

"Hi" I say and kiss her.

Quickly I pull back. Something is wrong. Her face is serene and smiling but it doesn't reach her eyes and I can feel the tension radiating from her. She looks tired but there's more. She looks weary and completely devoid of energy. Something is definitely wrong.

"Hi" she says and rises to kiss me again.

I put my hands on her shoulders and ask "what's wrong?"

"It's been a rough afternoon and I'm exhausted" she tells me.

Before I can probe more, the oven timer goes off telling me that dinner is ready.

"Ok, that's dinner" I tell her and go to the kitchen.

I take out the chicken and use the meat thermometer to make sure that the temperature is right and that it's cooked. The bean casserole is bubbling so it's ready too.

"A meat thermometer?" Anna asks as she enters the kitchen.

"Yeah. Mom wouldn't send me a chicken recipe unless I promised to use it. She didn't want me killing you; her words, not mine. There's a bottle of red opened" I tell her.

"Thanks."

I watch as she fills her glass, drinks it down and then fills it again. With one hip against the counter, she sips from her glass.

"Thirsty?" I ask sarcastically.

"It was a very difficult afternoon."

I hear it in her voice then. You have to pay close attention to catch the real Anna if she's trying to hide something. Thankfully, I've been paying close attention the past couple of months.

"Come here" I tell her and open my arms.

She hesitates, which causes a slight pain in my heart, and then comes to me. After putting down her glass of wine, she wraps her arms around my waist and hangs on tight. I slowly rub my hand up and down her back trying to sooth. She sighs and turns her face into my neck.

"Are you sniffing me?" I ask.

She chuckles as I hoped she would.

"You smell good" she tells me. I hear her stomach grumble and she laughs again. "Although I think my stomach believes the chicken smells better."

I pull back slightly and look down at her. She offers me another small smile but this one is real.

"Ok, would you pour me a glass of wine too and I'll put dinner on the table?" I ask her.

When did my world change so far that I'm putting dinner on the table?

I survey the table and everything is there so I serve Anna a piece of chicken and some casserole. It looks wrong. I'm missing something.

"Oh shit, the salad" I say.

"You dish out your dinner and I'll get the salad" Anna says and leaves the table.

She comes back into the dining room a few moments later with the salad and the bread.

"Did you want this out too?" she asks gesturing to the bread.

"Shit, yeah, thanks."

We sit down and dig into our dinners.

"This is really good Sid. Tell your mom she has great recipes but of course the cook makes all the difference. It's like a good play, it's only good if you execute and put the puck in the net."

"Did you just use a hockey metaphor?" I ask with mock surprise.

"Did you just use a big word like metaphor?" she asks with equal mocking.

We tease back and forth as we eat. Every time I ask about Anna's afternoon, she changes the subject or tells me about something that clearly isn't bothering her. I guess she doesn't have to tell me everything that's going on in her head. I don't share every thought that passes through mine.

After we finish eating, we clean up the dishes and Anna even packs up a container of leftovers for me to take home.

"Does that mean I'm leaving?" I ask her.

She frowns "no, why?"

"It just felt that way with you giving me a doggy bag. Usually that's when someone leaves."

"Oh, no, I assumed you'd stay. You want to stay, right?"

She's back to the shy, unsure Anna. Yeah I'm definitely staying because something is definitely wrong.

"I don't just cook for every girl you know" I tell her and wink. "Actually, I've never cooked for a girl."

This makes her smile wider so I take advantage and kiss her letting the kiss deepen quickly. She clings to me letting her fingers fist into my tee shirt. I can feel her desperation but still don't know the cause.

I pull away "Anna, wait" but she cuts me off with a kiss.

Her tongue invades my mouth and explores mine. Her fingers slide up into my hair and I feel her nails in my scalp. I wrap my arms around her hips so that I'm palming her ass and lift her up. Anna wraps her legs around my waist I and I walk us to her bedroom.

Peripherally, I remember the tie and chocolate sauce but then the thought is gone.

We tumble to the bed and I try to roll off of Anna but her legs are wrapped around me so tight and her fingers digging into my shoulders that I'm unable to move. She is relentless with her kisses, the thrust of her hips into mine and her hands which travel down my back. She sits up, forcing me to do the same, so that she can pull my shirt off and then she reaches for my jeans.

"Anna?" I say but she ignores me.

My jeans are quickly unzipped and her hand reaches inside to grasp me firmly. That's when all thought disappears from my brain and my muscle memory takes over.

I pull her blouse out of her skirt and rip it open when the buttons take too fucking long. Thank fuck this bra has a front closure so I pull it open too and latch onto one of her nipples. Anna moans and I feel my dick swell. She squeezes instinctively and I bite down on her nipple in response. That causes her to cry out and pull my dick out of my jeans and shorts.

"Hurry" she says in a husky voice. "Hurry Sidney."

I push her so she's lying flat on the bed. She's so fucking hot with her hair in a halo around her head, her blouse and bra open and her nipples tight and standing up. I push up her skirt and lean down to take her other nipple in my mouth. Since she's released my dick, her hands dig into my hair. I continue to suck and worry her nipple between my teeth and Anna cries out, her finger nails dig into my head and her hips thrust up.

Suddenly I have one goal, only one, and I'm urged on by desperation.

I move up to take her lips in quick, hungry bites. Anna surprises me when her teeth dig into my bottom lip. I taste blood but don't give a shit.

My hand gropes down and I rip off her panties. Thankfully I have the presence of mind to pull a condom out of my pocket. In less than two seconds it's on and I'm thrusting inside of her. She cries out, loud, so I immediately stop.

"No, keep going, please" she pleads me.

Her 'please' sounds so desperate and part of my brain tells me to stop but I can't. I'm too far gone.

Her hips meet mine thrust for thrust. She cries out and moans over and over. It's like she's possessed and she pulls me with her. Desperately I try to hold on because she's not ready yet, I can tell. I try to pull away so that I can work her clit and move her closer to her orgasm but she holds me tight with her legs around my hips and her hands now holding my shoulders. I manage to pull back slightly since I am stronger than her but then she grabs my face and pulls my lips an inch from hers.

"Fuck me now" she tells me and her lips latch onto mine.

I lose the last bit of reason and it takes only a few more thrusts before I cum hard, long and with a primal yell.

I fall on top of Anna and it takes me a few moments before I can roll over and lie beside her.

As I rub my hand over my sweaty face, I'm left wondering 'what the fuck was that?'

I pull off the condom, tie the end and put it on the side table to take care of later. Propping myself up on my elbow, I face Anna and am able to take a good look at her. She's still breathing hard and her entire body is flush. Her skirt is bunched around her waist, she's still in her stockings, bra and blouse only the last two are ripped and hanging away from her chest. I know immediately that she didn't cum and I feel guilty. This isn't good.

I run my hand up her thigh, between her legs, and to the junction; but, before I can slide my fingers between her folds, Anna closes her thighs.

"No please" she says and then rolls onto her sigh away from me.

Not a moment ago she wouldn't let me stop and cried out for me to keep going. Now it feels like, it feels like I, I can't even finish the thought. I don't know how.

"Anna" I say softly. "Please tell me what's wrong. Let me help you baby."

She turns over, facing me, and burrows into my chest. I fold her into my arms and pull her with me as I lean onto my back and tuck her into my side. I feel her tears wet my chest.

"I love you Sidney" she whispers and kisses my chest.

Ok, at least that's still true. If it's not about me then what the fuck is going on. Clearly she needs me so I guess it's up to me to figure it out. Just as clearly, it isn't sex that she needs right now no matter what the last fifteen minutes were about.

I push her back gently and slide out of bed.

"Sit up baby" I tell her and she does. Gently, I push her blouse and bra off of her. I kneel in front of her and pull down one stocking and then the other. I can feel myself getting hard watching all of that gorgeous skin being revealed. My focus returns to the task at hand and I ignore the rest. I help her stand and pull her skirt down so that she's naked.

"Get under the covers" I say softly and pull them over her when she's lying down. "I'll be back in a moment."

I go to the bathroom and set about filling the tub for a bath. There's bath oil that I add to the hot water and the room begins to have a lovely fragrance. It smells like my Anna. The water is hot but not unbearable so I return to the bedroom. Anna is sitting up now.

"I'm sorry Sid. God, how many times have I said that to you? How many times have I cried on you? Would you believe that I've only cried once in the last ten years before I met you? Shit, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Wow, I'm a mess huh?"

"Here's what we're going to do" I tell her. "First, you are going to take a bath and relax. When you're done, come out to the living room, we'll share the rest of the bottle of wine and talk."

She gives me a small smile and nods. I lift her from the bed, carry her to the bedroom and stand her in front of the tub. I help her in until she's lying completely submerged up to her neck.

"Take your time. I'll meet you in the living room" I tell her.

"Ok" she replies. I'm at the door when she calls out "Sid?" I turn. "Thank you."

"Relax in there" I tell her with a smile.

I don't think I every truly understood the word dichotomy until I met this girl. And it's only one of the many reasons that I love her.


	25. Chapter 25

Anna

The bath definitely helped me relax but feelings of guilt and dread have replaced the anxiety. Sid is waiting for me in my living room and he's going to want answers. What am I going to tell him? We are doing so well and have been so happy the past few weeks and now Meagan is turning it all to shit. I thought everything was behind us and we could only focus on the future. I thought that nothing was going to come between us ever again. Yet, here we are.

Sitting on my bed, wrapped in a fluffy robe, isn't going to give me any answers. I need to go out there and figure out how to avoid telling Sid about Meagan. If he digs there then who knows where else he'll go next.

After a couple of deep breaths, I leave the bedroom and find Sid sitting on the sofa watching a hockey game, of course. When he sees me, Sid turns off the TV and stares at me. I feel like I'm being dissected as I sit next to him. While he continues to stare, I take a sip from the glass of wine he's poured for me.

"Better" he says. "But not ok."

He picks up his wine and sits back against the cushions. I take another sip of mine and lean back against the cushions curling my legs under my body.

"I'm really sorry that I cried all over you and behaved that way Sid. God, I really have never cried so much in my entire life. It was a really, really bad day" I tell him and take another sip of wine.

"I told you, no need to apologize Anna. There is a need to explain though. What's going on?" he asks.

"Sid, there's nothing going on per se? We'll there's lots going on which is the problem but not one singular thing" I tell him.

"Anna" he begins.

I cut him off "Sid, really, I just need to shake off the day. That wonderful dinner, soak in the tub and hopefully you again, and I'll be good as new."

I give him what I hope is a sexy smile.

"Fuck!"

Sid yells, slams his wine glass on the table and stalks across the room. I'm stunned by his outburst. Unless he's on the ice, Sid is incredibly even tempered and rarely swears.

"Sid" I start but he cuts me off.

"Shut up Anna, just, for the love of God, shut up right now. The more you say, the more you lie to me and I won't put up with it anymore."

If I thought I was stunned before, now I'm simply dumbfounded and can only watch him pace the room. He rubs his hand through his hair and then his other hand joins it. He's mumbling but I can't make out what he's saying. I decide the best course of action for me is to stay silent.

He finally stops, hands on hips, and turns to me. Sid looks hot as hell when he's pissed but it's the 'pissed' part that has me on edge.

"I am beyond tired with this Anna. You say you trust me and you say that you love me. How can you have love without trust because regardless of what you say, it's clear that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth? I told myself that we don't have to tell each other everything little thing that passes through our brain. I mean, I don't tell you everything that I think or everything that happens in my day; but, this is clearly more than just keeping little things to yourself. You are obviously lying to me Anna. You're right that you don't have that much extreme emotion. I haven't known you long but I know that. And nothing, absolutely nothing would get you so off-kilter that you'd attack me for sex. You blush just talking about sex. This is bull shit. I can't handle this kind of bull shit now. This season is way too important to lose focus on what's essential. I'm done with it Anna. Done!"

It's happening. I mistakenly convinced myself that I could keep him but he was never really meant to be mine. Something was always going to make him leave me and I was a fool to believe otherwise. Wasn't this why I tried to stay away from him in the beginning?

I put my wine glass onto the table and stand up. I tighten my robe and take a few deep breaths.

"I understand" I tell him softly. "I really am sorry Sid. I promise that I won't make it awkward at work."

He frowns at me and then shakes his head.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he demands.

"Well, we work together so I'll do my best to make sure that we don't have to interact a lot. Since I work most closely with Geno, it shouldn't be too hard to make happen" I tell him.

"What do you think is going on here?"

"We're breaking up" I tell him.

"Why?"

"Because you said that you're done" I tell him confused.

"I'm done with the secrets and the lying. We're in love Anna. You don't give up when you're in love; instead, you work things out. Just because I'm pissed off doesn't mean I want to break up with you. I'd love to throttle you right now, metaphorically of course, but we're not breaking up. Now I'm also pissed that you'd throw this away so easily. Did you mean it when you said you love me?"

Did I mean it? Of course I mean it.

"Yes" I tell him simply.

"If you love me then how can you not fight for me?"

"But you said that you're done."

"And you just accept that? No questions, no fight, not even a declaration of love? You don't really love me. That isn't love."

I'm confused.

"I love you Sidney. I have never, ever said that to another human being. My heart is in pieces at the thought of you walking out of my life. I'm dying inside."

"But" he prompts me.

"But" I begin. "Regardless of how I feel, or what I do or don't do, this was always going to end Sid. It was inevitable that this was going to end."

"What do you mean that it was inevitable that this would end?"

"You were always going to break up with me at some point" I say. I wrap my arms around my body, hugging myself as I walk to windows. The night sky has twinkling stars. "You were always going to find out the truth and then this would be over. How could you ever want me?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asks.

His words break through my fog. I was talking to myself more than him and actually forgot that he's still here. I turn to face him.

"Sid, I'm not the kind of woman you should be with, marry, and have a family. Look around at all of the player's wives. It's clear that I'm not in their league and I never will be. You've said it yourself tonight, I'm too much drama for you. I have baggage, trunks and trunks full of baggage. You need a girl who can give you everything you need. Clearly that's not me."

"That's another thing that's getting really old Anna. This constantly putting yourself down, not really seeing who you are, how special you are, is coming between us. I know that you can't just snap your fingers and everything you've ever been through goes away; but, it's causing this distance between us. It's building walls miles wide and deep between us. And it's causing you to keep the truth from me. That's what I'm done with and I'm done with it now Anna. You need to start talking and tell me what has you all tied up in knots tonight and terrified of telling me. It can't make things worse than this" he gestures to the distance between us.

If he only knew.

"Ok" I say and gesture to the sofa.

Sid nods and walks back to the sofa at the same time I do. He refills both of our glasses of wine, I'm going to need it, and then sits back against the cushions. He's at one end of the L shaped sofa and I'm at the other facing him. He's spread out, arms and legs, waiting for me to speak. I'm tied up like a pretzel with my knees bent and pulled up to my chest.

"It all started the first week of the internship" I begin.

I proceed to tell him about Meagan's snide comments and how I would hear from other's what she's said about me. When I get to the elevator ride the other day and tell him what she said about me 'fucking' either Geno or Mario, Sid's face becomes tight and he's still as stone. Only his chest going up and down with each breath gives any indication that he's alive.

I have to gulp down the rest of my wine so that I can tell him about my 'conversation' with Meagan today. I decide to leave nothing out. He listens without interrupting and gives no indication that he's even listening except that his eyes remain on mine.

"Sid, she said that she could leak it to a tabloid that the Governor's daughter is 'fucking the hockey star.' That would destroy my father's family values campaign and it would damage your reputation including your endorsements. Not to mention the chaos during your run for the Cup and my father's run for the Presidential nomination."

"Don't say that" he says, almost growling it.

"Say what?" I ask.

"That you and I are fucking. Don't say it that way."

Of all the things for Sid to be pissed off in my long story, that is what he focuses on?

"Sid, did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, and don't say it again. I don't give a shit what anyone else says about us but do not reduce what we have to 'fucking,' ever."

"Ok" I reply softly.

He's staring at the wine glass he's holding in both hands. I don't know exactly how much time goes by but it's a lot and it makes me very nervous. I do feel some of the pressure lift off of my shoulders now that I've told him. I do love him and hate lying. Yet I do.

"Ok" he says and looks at his watch. "Go get dressed."

"Huh?"

"Get dressed, jeans will do. I'm calling Mario and we're going to see him."

"Huh?"

"For the love of God Anna, put on some fucking jeans and a tee shirt so that we can go to see Mario!"

"Ok" is all I can say and quickly go to my bedroom.

As I dress, I hear Sid on the phone. A couple of times I hear the words 'bitch' and 'no fucking way' but otherwise I can't hear what he's saying. Once dressed, I put my hair in a ponytail and my regular jewellery.

As I walk into the living room again, I hear Sid say "thanks dad."

He's talked to his dad too? Oh my God. What the hell is going on?

"Good, you're dressed, let's go" he tells me.

At the front door, he helps me into my coat and then puts on his own. It doesn't take us long to get to his car and we still haven't said a word to each other. I'm honestly scared to say a word in case he blows up again. I'm not stupid. If he was going to break up with me then we wouldn't be going to Mario's. Oh God, Mario. He warned us about this and now we're running to him for help. Oh God, Sid's dad knows too. This is a disaster.

Sid sighs then reaches out to take my cold hand in his warm one.

"We'll figure this out, ok?" he says softly.

"Ok" I agree.

It's already 10:30pm and the evening is really just beginning.

It takes us about thirty minutes to get to Mario's home in Sewickley. Sid punches in the gate code and we drive up to the front door. It's telling how comfortable Sid is in the Lemieux home because he walks right in the door without knocking or ringing the bell. No sooner are we in the door when Mario comes down the hall to meet us.

"So, I guess we have a situation to deal with, eh?" Mario asks.

"Yeah" Sid answers.

Oh God.

Sidney

I thought that I couldn't be any more pissed off when Anna was lying to me, again, and then she tells me about that bitch Meagan. Interns usually drink too much on the road or are perpetually late if there are issues. There has never been one like this one and I knew that meant we needed Mario's help.

It's so fucking embarrassing. We're sitting in Mario's office with Nathalie and my parents on the speaker phone. I called dad and he woke up mom so now I get to talk about my sex life with my parents and adopted parents.

Beside me Anna is holding the cup of tea Nathalie gave her so hard that I think the china might actually break. I feel badly that she's having to go through this and that we had to dealing with it now after such a difficult day; but, we can't let it go any further in case this bitch decides to do something. That means we need Mario's help.

"Anna, I'm sorry to make you do this, but can you go through all of the details? Sid's given us a summary but I need to know what she's said, done, everything" Mario says and gives her a reassuring smile.

Anna takes a deep breath and I know that she does that when she's steeling herself for something she doesn't want to do. Looking down at her cup the entire time, Anna recounts every interaction she's had with Meagan. Her voice falters slightly when she tells them what Meagan said about Anna and Mario having sex. She finishes with leaving the office today.

"That's everything?" Mario asks.

Anna looks up at him and nods.

"What are your thoughts Mario?" my dad says from the phone.

"I know what I want to do" Mario replies with vengeance in his voice. "What I will do is call Sam, our lawyer, and ask his advice."

Mario steps out of the room and I stare at Anna. I feel like I'm being torn apart. Part of me wants to protect her from that bitch and everything that's happening right now. Another part of me is still so pissed off at her for lying, again, for assuming that I was going to leave when I found out and for making me feel guilty that I'm so pissed.

"Sidney?" I hear my mom through the phone.

"Yeah, I'm here mom."

"Do you want us to come down? We can be on a plane in the morning sweetie."

Just the offer gives me comfort. It's such a mom thing to do and so like her to offer to drop everything and come help me.

"Thanks mom. Let's wait and see what our next steps are before you go to that trouble."

"Sweetie, it's no trouble."

"Sorry mom, I didn't mean it that way. Let's just wait and see what happens with the lawyer."

Our conversation is cut off because Mario comes back into the room.

"Ok, Sam is going to review the contracts that the interns sign and he'll be here at 7am tomorrow. He'll want to talk to both of you Sid. What time do the interns usually arrive in the morning Anna?"

Anna doesn't reply. She's staring down at her cup again, completely unengaged in the conversation around her. I gently put my hand on her arm.

"Anna?" I say.

"We have to tell my father" she whispers but loud enough that Mario hears her.

I look quickly at him and I can see that he understands the implications of Anna's father knowing and the effect on him politically. Mario walks over and crouches down in front of Anna. He slips the cup from her hand and places it on the side table. Then he takes her hands in his and waits until she looks up at him.

"I understand Anna, truly I understand what this could mean. Here's what I suggest we do first. In the morning, we'll meet with Sam and tell him everything. Then he can advise us of our best course of action considering ever variable including your family. Once we know his recommendation then we can discuss next steps and involve others if needed. Ok? Let's take this one step at a time."

Anna is staring at Mario like he's her saviour and maybe, in a way, he is for both of us. There wouldn't be that much PR impact to me. It's not me that I'm worried about. We need to make sure that the Pens and Anna are protected.

"Ok Anna?" Mario gentle presses.

"Ok" she whispers back.

He pats her cheek softly like I've seen him do with his kids and then he stands and glances at Nathalie. His silent communication is received and Nathalie stands.

"Sidney" she begins. "Since you have to be here to talk to the lawyer so early, why don't you and Anna stay here rather than driving home and then back?"

I look at Anna but she doesn't react at all.

"That sounds great Nathalie, thank you."

"You're old room is made up with fresh linens and towels. Why don't you and Anna go up? You must be exhausted" she tells me.

I guess there's no secret that Anna and I are sleeping together so there's no need for separate rooms. It's funny because, when I lived here, one of the only rules was no girls staying over.

"Mom, dad?" I say.

"Yes sweetie" mom says.

"Thanks so much. I'll talk to you first thing in the morning, ok?"

"Ok kid" dad says.

"We love you sweetie" mom tells me.

It makes me smile. In all of this craziness mom still manages some normality.

"Me too mom."

I stand and pull Anna will me. She holds my hand tightly and lets me lead her out of the room. At the door threshold, she stops and turns back to Mario and Nathalie.

"I'm so very sorry for this disruption and the problems it is causing you. Thank you so much for helping and for the hospitality this evening" she tells them.

She turns back to me and we continue out of the room. Even devastated, Anna remembers her southern manners. It makes me wonder what else might be ingrained in her indelibly.

When we get into the west wing of the house, I lead her into what used to be my room and sit her on the bed. I rummage through some of the drawers and find an old Pens tee shirt. This should be ok for Anna to sleep in.

Back at the bed, I hand it to her and ask "is this ok to sleep in?"

She looks at the shirt and then back at me and nods.

"The bathroom is over there" I point.

Anna nods, walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. I collapse on the bed. This can't be happening. How did everything go from a high, the team is winning and I have a girl that I love, to shit that involves lawyers and telling my family about my sex life.

My phone buzzes and it's my parents.

"Hi" I answer.

"Hey kid, you ok?" dad asks.

"I'm exhausted and pissed off. Other than that I'm fine."

"That sounds about right. Are you sure you don't want us to come down?"

"Let's wait until we talk to the lawyer, ok? This could be something easily taken care of and goes away quickly or I'll need you to come down and help deal with the shit I've made."

"Sid, you didn't do this. You fell for a girl. It shouldn't be more complicated than that but when have our lives been simple, eh?"

"Yeah."

"Is she worth it?" he asks.

"Yeah dad, she's worth it."

"Good, than you do everything that you can to protect that girl which includes letting us help, ok?"

"Ok dad. I will." I hear the door open and see Anna come out of the bathroom. "I'll call in the morning."

"Sure thing" dad says and we disconnect.

Anna places her folded clothes on the dresser and stands there, in the tee shirt and panties, with her fingers knotted together. She looks so lost that I walk over to her and take her hands in mine. They're freezing and I see that she has goosebumps on her skin.

"Come on" I tell her and walk her to the bed.

I pull down the comforter and sheet and help her into the bed. She's shivering when I cover her up. Quickly, I go to the other side of the bed, strip down to my shorts, put the alarm on my phone to 6am, like we'll get any sleep anyway, and then climb into bed beside her. I vacillate back and forth between leaving Anna alone and wanting to comfort her. I remember what my father said and roll over to where Anna lays and pull her close so that we spoon. Thankfully, she doesn't resist me. I don't know if I could take it if she did.

"We'll fix everything Anna. Don't worry, we'll fix everything baby" I whisper and kiss under her ear.

"I'm sorry" she whispers back. "I'm so sorry that I lied to you Sidney. I'm so sorry."

"Let's put that aside right now, ok baby? Let's just focus on what's in front of us and getting through this together then we'll work through everything else together. Ok."

"Ok" she says and sighs. "Sid?"

"Yes baby."

She doesn't say anything more. I hug her closer.

"Do you still love me?" she whispers and I hear her voice catch.

At least this question is easy to answer.

"Yes baby, I love you. Now and always."

She shivers and pulls my arms tighter around me. I kiss the back of her neck softly,

"And you?" I ask.

Anna turns so quickly that her elbow clips my chin.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" Anna says as cups my face.

I test my jaw and chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I reply.

"Good" she strokes my cheek and then kisses my chin. "Of course I love you Sid. Now and always."

Her smile slips and her eyes soften. She kisses me softly, slowly. Her lips are so soft and feel innocent in their exploration of mine. This is love. I can feel love flow from Anna to me through this kiss. I pull back.

"Anna, let's get some sleep."

"No, I need you" she tells me and kisses me again.

I can feel my body responding to hers but I try again. I don't want her to think she has to do this to make something up to me.

"Anna, a lot has happened tonight and tomorrow isn't going to be any easier. Let's get some sleep."

Anna pulls back so that I can see her from the soft light of the moon coming through the window. She looks so beautiful.

"I need you" she says.

I feel the same. I need her tonight in a way I've never needed anyone.

This time our lips meet together, mutually, and begin their soft exploration. Anna's hands slide from my cheeks up into my hair and she pushes up against me. I find the bare skin of her thigh and pull her leg over mine. We move slowly, savouring each other, tasting and exploring. I pull back one more time, breathing hard and knowing that I've almost lost complete control.

"Anna, be sure baby."

Instead of answering me, Anna leans in and takes my bottom lip between her teeth. She bites lightly, runs her tongue along it and then sucks. I guess that's my answer.

Anna releases my lip and slips her tongue between mine. Our tongues play and explore. Her hands tug at my hair and I pull her leg further so that it wraps around my thigh. I slide my hand up her thigh and cup her ass. Anna moans into my mouth and I slip my hand lower, between her legs, under her panties. I can just reach between her folds and feel how wet she is. It's frustrating because I can't slip inside or touch her clit. Anna grinds against me and I know that she's just as frustrated.

I push Anna back so that she lies against the pillow and I slide between her legs. My lips leave hers and travel down her neck. She tastes so good but I want more. I slide my body lower and push the tee shirt up to reveal her breasts. They are full and her nipples tighten under my gaze. I take one between my finger and thumb and gently roll it with greater and greater pressure. It grows long and even hardens further. I switch to the other one and watch as it responds the same.

"Oh Sid, please" she begs and grinds against me. "Please."

I can't resist any further so I take one into my mouth sucking. She moans again and I shift so that my hand can reach between us. I move to her other nipple and slide my hand into her panties. Anna grinds against my hand and I slip my fingers between her folds until I find her clit. She cries out as I rub slowly around and around. I kiss down her body until I'm between her legs and can pull off her panties. I settle so that her legs are over my hands and I can pull her legs apart.

I blow on the newly exposed, wet skin.

"Ahhhh" she cries out.

I do it again and again. She writhes beneath me and her hips begin to tilt up rhythmically. I take a long lick and she pushes into my face.

"Ahhh, Sid!"

I latch onto her clit and suck. Her hips tilt again and again up into my face. I press down with the flat of my tongue and rub. Her hips begin to thrust now and I push two fingers inside of her while I flick her clit over and over. She moans and cries out over and over. I can feel her orgasm build in her body. I circle my fingers stretching around and around where she's sensitive and then I begin to thrust them in and out in the same rhythm as my tongue flicks.

I keep up the pressure and speed until her body stiffens and she cries out loud. She drenches my face as she cums. I use the sheet to wipe my face while she rides her orgasm. I climb up to lie beside her and stroke her hair back from her face. When she comes down from her high, she turns her head, looks at me and smiles.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi" she replies.

Anna takes me by surprise when she pushes me back and straddles me.

"Now I need you" she says and pulls my dick out of my shorts.

I grab her wrist and pull it back.

"We can't Anna." She looks hurt so I quickly explain. "I don't have any condoms."

"Oh" she says and looks disappointed. "Well, let me" she doesn't finish her thought but instead wraps her hand around me.

"Anna, you don't have to" I tell her but am cut off when she leans down and takes my dick in her mouth.

"Oh fuck" I say and lean back.

Her lips are inexperienced but fuck does it feel good. Her innocence is so fucking hot and when I hit the back of her throat, I almost cum immediately. In and out, Anna bobs up and down, and sucks me off. I'm about to cum, embarrassingly quickly.

"Anna, I'm going to cum. Stop if you don't want me to cum in your mouth."

Instead of stopping, she goes faster and faster as she sucks me dry as I cum. As I try to catch my breath, Anna climbs up my body and pulls up the covers. I pull her to my side and she lays her head on my chest and leaves a few kisses there before settling back.

"I love you Sid."

"I love you Anna. Go to sleep."

She yawns and does just that, falls asleep. Surprisingly, I do too.


	26. Chapter 26

Anna

When I wake up, Sid is sprawled across the bed lightly snoring. For a moment, I can't remember where I am except in a bed with Sid. I sit up and look around. Then it all comes flooding back to me: Meagan, telling Sid about her and then coming to the Lemieux's home where I'm currently sleeping.

I look at my watch and see that it's 5am. We're going to have to get up soon to talk to the lawyer so I might as well get up now. I slip out of bed quietly and pull on my jeans and socks. I'm freezing so I also put on Sid's sweatshirt. For a moment, I hug myself and breathe in Sid's comforting smell. I'm warm on the inside and the outside now.

Slipping out of the room, I try to remember my way back to the main part of the house and, with only a few wrong turns, I manage to find the main hall and kitchen. There's light spilling into the hallway so I know that someone is awake. I take a deep breath and then walk in.

Nathalie is at the coffee maker pouring water into it. I don't know if I should leave and wait until Sid wakes up but then the decision is made for me.

"Hi Anna" Nathalie says. "How did you sleep?"

"Um" I think of our before sleep 'activities' and know that I'm blushing. "I slept well."

"Come, sit" she gestures to a chair the breakfast bar. "I just put the coffee on. I thought I'd make us a big breakfast and start the day with some fuel. Besides, I remember how much Sid eats."

"Oh yes, he used to live here, right?"

"Yeah, for a few years. He became one of the family and a built in babysitter too."

We both laugh and Nathalie goes to the fridge to begin taking out eggs, ham, peppers, onions and more.

"Can I help?" I ask her.

"You don't need to sweetie."

"I'll actually feel more useful if I can help."

"Ok Anna, here" she hands me the chef's knife and places the vegetables in front of me. "They've been washed" she tells me.

I start chopping and we talk about nothing important for a little while. Maybe that's the reason I'm surprised when Nathalie changes the subject.

"Anna, I feel like Sid is one of my kids. He became an integral part of our family over the years that he lived with us. The kids all see him like a big brother and Mario definitely feels fatherly towards him."

"That's nice" I reply not sure where she's going with this conversation.

"I can't say that I know you as well as Sid; but, I have known you and your family for years. I've seen you grow into a lovely, intelligent, successful young woman."

"Thank you Nathalie" I reply and know I'm blushing.

"I've been where you are you know?" I frown not quite sure what Nathalie means so she continues. "I was in love with a star hockey player that everyone wanted a piece of in some way. You have the complications of your family and politics. I was a quiet and shy girl from rural Quebec with poor English. Regardless of how different we are, I know what you're going through being with Sid." Nathalie stops what she's doing and stands in front of me. "He's bigger than life. Everything he does is done perfectly, right? He has the world on his shoulders and handles it effortlessly which is beyond understanding. Everyone wants some of his time no matter where he is and he is adored, even worshipped, by so many. He's also handsome, smart and sexy as hell. Am I right?"

I smile shyly and answer "yes."

"It makes you wonder what he's doing with you. I mean, Mario was the best player in the league, everyone in Pittsburgh and the world loved him, he brought the first Stanley Cup here, and then the girls too. Wow, everywhere we went the girls were throwing themselves at him. And I was always left wondering why he was with me. Why would he want me when he could have any or all of them? It's almost like I was waiting for the balloon of our happiness to pop and Mario would wake up and know that I wasn't right for him. Sound familiar?"

It's like she's saying everything that I've been feeling and, maybe because of that, I can't stop holding it in any longer.

"That's exactly how I feel" I tell her. "Sid is perfect. He says the right things and does the right things. It's like he doesn't even try and yet he's able to do anything he puts his mind to and does it perfectly. He knows exactly what to say to me and make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. But I know the truth. He could be with any girl in the world, any girl, so what is he doing with me? He actually got pretty ticked off when I said that last night."

"Of course he did Anna. You are a beautiful and intelligent young woman and he's clearly in love with you."

"I know I'm not ugly but I'm hardly like the girls he could get. He could be dating models."

"He has dated models" Nathalie.

Oh my God. I'm shocked although I don't know why I'm so surprised. Of course he's dated models. Why wouldn't he be with someone who's beautiful and perfect like him?

"Anna" Nathalie brings my attention back to her. "Let's put aside how hard you are on yourself and your looks for a moment and be perfectly candid. If Sid wanted to date a model then he would still be with that other girl or would find another like her. He's like Mario and when he wants something he goes after it and gets it. Or her. He chose you. You aren't second best or someone he's settling for right now. He chose you. He loves you."

"How do you know he loves me?"

"He's like my own son. I love him and I know when he's given his heart to someone. He has clearly given his heart to you. He chose you."

What she's saying begins to make sense to me. Sid could be with any girl but he chose me. He chose me. Mario chose Nathalie twenty years ago and they're still together. Why couldn't that be Sid and me? I tamp down the doubt that immediately surfaces. Sidney Crosby chose me. They are only four words but they make all the difference.

"Yeah, you're right" I tell her and smile.

"You could completely screw this up if you don't get some confidence Anna. When I see you working, you are a confident, take charge woman who isn't afraid of jumping into the middle of a media scrum to protect your player. The one thing Sid definitely needs in a partner is someone who has self-confidence and is sure of who she is with and without him. There's going to be times when you're alone because he has obligations and sometimes that's going to include other girls too. You need to bring some of that professional confidence into your personal life. Have you ever heard the expression 'fake it until you make it'?"

"Yes" I reply.

"Then do it. Pretend you're confident and eventually you will be. No matter what this morning brings, or this afternoon, or a week from now, none of it matters because you love and are loved. He chose you."

"He chose me" I repeat. "Fake it until I make it huh?"

"Yep. That's how I got through the first ten years."

"Ten years?" I ask astonished.

Nathalie starts laughing and I join in with her. That's how Mario and Sid find us as they walk into the kitchen.

"Good morning" Mario says and walks over to Nathalie to kiss her.

Fake it until I make it, huh?

I walk over to a blurry eyed Sid, put my arms around his waist and kiss him. I keep it PG but just barely.

"Good morning" I tell him when we part.

He looks surprised and replies "Good morning. This is where my sweatshirt went" he tugs at the sleeve of the shirt I'm wearing.

"I was cold" I tell him.

"Looks better on you."

We kiss once more and then turn toward the Lemieuxs with our arms wrapped around each other.

Nathalie winks at me and Mario hands Sid a glass of orange juice. I guess I can do this.

Nathalie and I finish making breakfast while the guys set the table. The kids are away, some at school some at friends since it's Saturday, so the four of us are alone in the house. The breakfast conversation is light and a little bit forced with everyone knowing what's going to happen when Sam arrives.

As we linger over coffee, we start talking about the situation and possible solutions.

"You know, it's too bad that girl hasn't broken the contract herself" Nathalie says.

That comment hits me like a brick. Meagan most definitely would have thrown herself at every player, she hasn't been shy about flirting, and at least one of the young guys would have taken her up on the offer. She is sexy in an obvious sort of way.

"I'll be back in a moment" I say to the table in general and leave the room.

It only takes me a minute to get back into the bedroom and find my phone.

"What are you doing?" Sid, who followed me, asks.

"Of course she's had sex with players Sid. Seriously, think about it. She throws herself at all of you guys. Do you really think that some of the younger guys wouldn't want her?"

"Ok, it makes sense. What are you going to do?"

"I'm calling Adam, he'll know."

"First, it's 6:30am. Second, you'll have to tell him about us."

"No I won't Sid. Trust me."

It takes him a moment but he nods so I call Adam and, after a few rings, he answers.

"ello."

"Adam, it's Anna. I'm so sorry for waking you up but it's important."

"lo?"

"Adam" I say more loudly. "Wake up! I have a question for you and you need to be awake."

"Ok, fine, just a minute."

I hear some rustling.

"Jeeze Anna. It's not even 7am. What the fuck? You doing a walk of shame and need a ride?"

"I need to ask you a question and you can't ask me why I'm asking. Ok? Please? It's really important."

"Ok" he says hesitantly.

"Is or has Meagan had sex with any of the players?"

"How the hell would I know?"

"Because you know everything. Tell me please Adam."

"Ok, but you didn't hear it from me."

"Sure, fine, ok" I reply.

"Of course she has. During training camp, she was screwing Bennett and still does periodically. I think there have been a couple others but Bennett for sure."

"Thank you so much Adam. I'll tell you everything when I can, I promise."

"You better you witch."

"Bye Adam" I say and disconnect.

I turn to Sid sitting on the bed. I'm so happy that I can't contain myself so I run to him and throw myself into his arms. He catches me and falls back with me against the bed.

I find his lips quickly and kiss him like we've never kissed before.

"I thought we had the rule that no girls are allowed up here" Mario calls from the doorway.

We stop and both turn to Mario. I guess we left the door open.

"Forget the rules" I tell him and both Mario and Sid look at me surprised. "I have great news."

"Good because Sam is here. Let's go downstairs and you can tell all of us."

Today is looking better and better. 'Fake it until you make' it just might work.

Sidney

Anna and I walk into the office hand in hand and see Nathalie and Sam sitting in chairs drinking coffee and chatting.

"Sid" Sam says and stands, reaching out his hand. "It's so good to see you again."

"Hi Sam, good to see you too" I reply as I shake his hand. "This is my girlfriend, Anna."

Anna releases my hand and greets Sam.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sam" she says.

"And you Anna. I know your mother and father from my work with Habitat for Humanity."

I can feel Anna stiffen slightly beside me but it's so brief that no one else notices.

We all sit down, Anna and I together on the sofa, and look at Sam. He picks up his legal pad, a pen and then sits back against the sofa and looks at Anna and me.

"Ok, why don't you start at the beginning and tell me what's going on Anna?" Sam asks.

Anna reaches for my hand, which surprises me and doesn't go unnoticed by the Lemieuxs, and starts the story. At various times, I give Anna's hand a reassuring squeeze and she squeezes back. I don't know what's happened or changed but Anna appears much more comfortable with physical contact this morning. I was stunned when she kissed me in front of Mario and Nathalie before breakfast.

Anna finishes the story with her conversation with Meagan yesterday and then looks at me. She seems to be looking at me for confirmation on something but I'm unsure what. I wasn't involved in any of these interactions. Oh, ah, she's asking about the conversation this morning with Adam. I nod to her and she turns back to Sam.

"This morning, I had a conversation with one of the other interns who is a very good friend. He told me that it's common knowledge that Meagan has been sleeping with players. I've seen her flirt with any man she's around but I didn't know it went any further. Of course, I'm not usually the person people gossip with except my friend" she says.

"Do you know who she might have had sex with?" Sam asks.

"I'm told that one of them was Beau. Oh wait a minute, I remember seeing the two of them kissing during training camp. I completely forgot about that until right now. I guess because I talked to Adam."

She looks at me suddenly and panicked.

"They won't say anything about it being Adam that you spoke with Anna" I say to reassure.

"I don't think it's likely but if we do Anna we'll talk to you first" Sam says. "Is that everything?"

Anna replies "everything I have."

"Good" Sam then turns to Mario. "I looked over the intern contracts and they are very clear and well written."

"Of course they are Sam. Your firm created them" Mario says and chuckles.

"Next time you say our billing is too high I'm going to remind you of this conversation" Sam tells him. "Anyway, the requirements and that clause in particular are clearly written and well within the scope of employment law in Pennsylvania. Both Meagan and Anna signed their contracts and agreed to all of the clauses therein. Even if we could prove that Meagan violated her contract, Anna has too."

"So we pay her off" Mario says.

"That's definitely one way to go. We could have her sign a non-disclosure agreement for the cash. To completely cover every risk then we should probably find her an internship with another NHL team. This way, from an employment law point of view, she hasn't lost anything."

"How does this make sure that she won't say anything?" Anna asks.

"The nondisclosure agreement makes it illegal" Sam tells her.

"But she can always leak it with no way to prove it came from her" Anna counters.

She's right of course. A viper like Meagan would want revenge any way that she could get it and taking the money and inflicting pain on Anna would give her everything she wants. The room is silent because they know it too.

"Can you walk me through the employment law piece? Is there any way that, as the employer, Mario could decide to let Anna out of that clause in her contract?" Nathalie asks.

Sam turns to Nathalie.

"The interns are over eighteen so they can enter into contractual relationships legally. They had enough time to review the documents and were not coerced into signing them. The contacts are also standard in the industry. Essentially, the employee signs the documents, receives payment for work completed and the contract is enforced" Sam says.

"But I'm not" Anna says and all eyes turn to her.

"You're not what Anna" Sam asks.

"I'm not paid" she replies.

"What do you mean you're not paid?" I ask her.

"Before I took the job, I heard that the internship program receives a partial subsidy from the state government. I didn't want to take money that could have come from the state where my dad is the Governor. It wouldn't be right and I really wanted the job" she says and shrugs her shoulders.

Leave it to Anna to go to the extreme to do the 'right thing' and not take any money.

"You don't receive a salary? How do you afford to live?" Sam asks.

"I'm very lucky to have a family who can afford to help me" she looks down at her fingers embarrassed.

"Well Anna that changes everything" Sam says. "If no money was exchanged than there is no employment contract enacted. Any relationship between you and Sid can't break a contract that doesn't exist."

"It's as simple as that?" Nathalie asks.

"Yes, actually" Sam responds. "It is that simple. If you can have the player collaborate that he and the intern had a sexual relationship then you can hold her in breach of contract."

"Really?" I ask.

Sam turns to me and says "yes, really. My suggestion is that you find a way to make your relationship public. Maybe you do it quietly like you go out on a date. Someone will probably take your picture since you're almost never seen with a girlfriend in Pittsburgh and you're so well known. When your relationship is known then you close the loop with the player and fire the intern."

"You mean, that's it?" I ask.

"That's it" he says.

Mario and Nathalie stand and the three of them talk.

"Are you ok?" I ask Anna.

"I don't know" she says softly.

"What's wrong?"

"We need to let everyone know that we're dating?"

Oh, that's what is bothering her. She doesn't want anyone to know about us.

"Sid, if it's out there then my parents will know."

"They won't approve of me" I know that I sound disappointed.

"No but that's not an issue and I couldn't care less if they did. They wouldn't approve of anyone they didn't pick out for me." She turns to me and takes my hand. "Once they know, they're going to want to meet you and it's going to become a circus. I don't want to bring that into your life. You don't need this baggage in your life during the season."

She's remembering my words from last night.

"Anna, that kind of circus I've been dealing with my whole life. Maybe not politically but certainly the media circus. You haven't seen me walk down the street in Canada. As long as we're ok" I take her hand and place it on my heart "then I'm ok. Are we ok?"

She smiles then leans in and kisses me softly.

Against my lips she whispers "yes, we are definitely ok."

"Will you go out with me tonight?" I ask.

"You mean on a date?"

"Yes" I smile at her.

"Then yes" she says and kisses me again.

"If you guys are finished, can we finish?" Mario asks.

Anna and I both turn to them looking sheepish. We're embarrassed but I know that I don't regret anything. I love the new, demonstrative Anna.

"Anna" Nathalie says. "You may want to let your parents know that you're dating before it appears on the internet or your dad gets a question."

"Yeah, I thought of that" she replies and looks at me. "That's going to be fun."

"I'll be there too" I tell her and then narrow my eyes when I think she's going to argue with me.

"Ok" she tells me.

"Mario" Sam says. "I'll connect with my team and have someone write up the termination papers and plan with your team for it."

We thank Sam and Nathalie walks him out.

"I guess it's a really good thing that you have such strong ethics Anna. It's saved the day" he tells her.

"Now I just need to tell my parents" she replies wryly.

"Shit" I say. "I have to call mine and let them know what's happened." I turn to Anna and say "I'll be back in a few minutes."

She smiles and says "I'll be there too."

Damn, throws my words back at me and she's gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?

"I'll give you guys the room" Mario says and shuts the door behind him.

"I guess the world will know soon enough" I tell her.

"Yeah. It might just be a relief to not sneak around anymore" she tells me. "I love you."

I pull her into my arms and kiss her softly, sweetly, deeply.

When we pull apart, I say "I love you."

Finally, thank God finally, we can be exactly who we are; happy.

Anna

The conversation with Sid's parents went as I've come to expect. They were happy that everything worked out for us and are really looking forward to coming down to Pittsburgh and meeting me in person. It's easy to see why Sid is so kind and loving.

"You know that the next call is going to be very different" I tell him.

"Let's not assume the worst. Call them" he says and points to the speaker phone on Mario's desk.

I take out my cell phone and dial Matthew's number. Sid frowns at me.

"I have to find out where they are and if they are both available" I tell him.

Sid nods and sits down.

"Hello?"

"Matthew, it's Anna. How are you?"

"I'm really great. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Thanks again for your help with Geno's brother. He'll be coming to visit in a couple of weeks."

"That's great" Matthew replies.

"I'm actually calling to find out where my parents are this morning. I need to speak to both of them together if possible."

"Oh. Just a minute while I look at the daily schedule."

The phone is quiet for a moment and then I hear computer keys 'clicking.'

"You're in luck. They are both in the mansion this morning. The Governor's first meeting isn't for thirty minutes."

"Thanks Matthew. I appreciate the help."

We say goodbye and I walk over the phone on the desk. Using the speaker phone, I dial the number of the mansion, ask for the residence and am immediately connected. The housekeeper finds my parents for me.

"Hello darling" my mother says. "Is everything ok? Are you alright?"

I can tell that I'm on speaker phone so my father must be there too. How different the call begins with my parents than with Sid's. For my parents, calling them unexpectedly is a very big surprise.

"I'm fine mom. Sorry to worry you. Is dad there too?"

"I'm here Anna" dad says.

"Oh good. Um, I have you on speaker as well. Sidney Crosby is her with me. He's the captain of the Penguins."

"Oh" my mother says. "Delighted to meet you Sidney."

My mother always has her southern manners ready.

"And you as well Mrs. Xxx, Governor xxx."

Sid is Canadian and has equally good manners. What an odd thing for me to be thinking about right now.

"I know that it's a surprise and unusual for me to be calling like this but it can't be helped. There may be press implications and I wanted you to know immediately." I take a deep breath and Sid reaches for then squeezes my hand. "Sidney and I have been dating for a few weeks now and we've been able to keep it secret but it's just a matter of time before someone in Pittsburgh recognizes Sid and sees us together. I didn't want you to find out via the media that your daughter is dating a hockey star."

There, it's all out. They know and now I don't have to worry about it anymore. Now I only need to worry about the hurricane that's going to follow in about 3, 2, 1 …

"Sidney, would you mind if we speak with our daughter alone please?" my mother asks.

"Actually ma'am, I really would mind. I don't mean to be disrespectful but I care very much for your daughter. This relationship is important to me and we're in it together" Sid responds and then pulls my hand to his lips for a kiss.

"Well, that is unfortunate Mr. Crosby. Anna, you are aware that this is a very important time for your father and media attention about his daughter dating a hockey star will detract from any messages we've planned. This is not a good time" mother says.

Even said with her genteel southern accent, her stern message comes through loud and clear to us both. I hold up my hand to Sid so he doesn't answer her.

"Mother, I completely understand the timing which is why I'm calling you rather than you finding out from a reporter. It's unfortunate that you can't get to know Sid for yourself because you would know that he isn't a typical pro athlete and comes from a good family."

Sid smiles at me and kisses my hand again.

"We haven't had the opportunity to find out for ourselves missy since you didn't feel it was important to tell us until you were forced into it right now."

I know that tone of voice. My mother is pissed, well and truly pissed, and it's going to get ugly regardless of Sid being on the phone too. I brace myself for what's coming.

"We will look at your father's schedule and ensure that we are in Pittsburgh within the week. The social secretary will contact you with the dates."

With that last declarative sentence, my mother disconnects the phone.

I collapse back into the chair next to Sid still holding his hand. We're both silent for a few moments.

"That was, interesting" Sid says.

I look over at him and he has a wry smirk on his face. It makes me laugh, hard, and soon Sid is joining in with me. I can't believe that I'm here laughing like a loon when the full force of the Pennsylvania government, and my mother, will be raining down upon us within the week.

"You laugh now" I tell him. "She's serous you know? They will be here within the next week and then you'll be wondering why you ever got involved with me."

"No, I won't ever have to wonder why I'm with you. I am because I love you."

I feel my heart melt a little.

"Good because I love you" I tell him.

We each lean in and half way our lips meet.

"Good" he replies.

"So now what?" I ask.

"First, we both need to go to work and then tonight" he winks at me. "Tonight we have a date."

Oh my, a real date with Sid. The last five minutes melt away from my mind and I focus on tonight.

"Yes" I reply. "Tonight we have a date. What did you have in mind?"

"Unfortunately, this date also has a purpose so we'll be going out in public. There's a great Italian restaurant that I think you'll like."

"Anywhere with you I'll like" I tell him.

Oh my, I think Sid is actually blushing. I really need to thank Nathalie for this new found confidence.

"I don't know what has gotten into you but I'm enjoying it very much" Sid says and, with a tug, pulls me from my chair and onto his lap. "Very much."

His lips capture mine and I feel his hand creep under my shirt. His hand splays across my back pulling me closer and our kiss deepens quickly. We're both lost until we hear a knock on the door.

"Are you guys done?" Mario's voice comes through the door.

"Not nearly" Sid whispers and bites down on my ear lobe. "Yeah, we're coming."

I guess we need to go. The faster we go to work, finish work, and get home, the faster we'll be on our first official date.

Sidney

I'm actually nervous. I can't believe how nervous I am. I'm standing at her door waiting to knock holding a huge bouquet of flowers. Anna's an old fashion girl so she'll expect flowers, right? Am I overdressed? I took that tie off and on a dozen times. I decided to go without the tie but wore a suit. Ok, this is crazy. I just need to knock. It takes only a few minutes before Anna opens the door. Whatever I was going to say leaves my head and I can only stare at her.

The first thing I notice is that she's left her hair down and it hangs over her shoulders in large curls. Hot. Her eyes are dark and huge staring back at me. When I can finally take in her body, it takes me a while to completely take her all in. The neckline is high and doesn't show any cleavage and the hem is below her knees; but, she's never looked hotter. The silky material clings to every one of her curves in all the right ways. Her breasts press against the fabric perfectly and my hands actually itch to touch them. Her waist is small and her hips, holy hell those hips, now it's more than my hands responding to what I'm seeing.

"Sid?"

I don't know how many times Anna's said my name but I think it's a few times because she chuckles.

"Yeah, wow, sorry. Anna, wow" is all I manage.

"Thank you" she replies and moves to the side to let me pass. "You look really great Sid. I love this suit on you."

I smile at her reaction. I chose the right suit.

"Oh, here" I hand her the flowers.

"Oh they're beautiful Sid. Thank you. I'm just going to put these in water."

I couldn't answer her if I tried. When she turns, my eyes feast on the way the dress forms to her perfect ass. I'm literally rooted to the spot as she walks away and I don't snap out of my haze until she walks back into the living room with the vase full of flowers.

"They smell wonderful Sid. Thank you."

She puts the flowers on the coffee table and then returns to me. Her hands lightly lay on my arms as she gives me a light kiss.

"You smell wonderful too" she tells me and kisses me again.

I'm again struck by the change in her. I don't know what happened but she's different, a good different, and I'm looking forward to our date even more.

"Do you have a coat?" I ask her. "It's a little chilly out there."

She takes her coat from the closet and I help her into it. I pull her hair out of the collar and her natural smell that typifies Anna washes over me.

"You smell good too" I whisper in her ear and feel the chill run through her body.

It seems like I'm affecting her like she's affecting me.

We manage to leave the apartment without ripping each other's clothes off and down to my car easily.

"Do you like Italian food?" I ask her.

"Too much" she says and laughs.

"Well you're going to love this place. They make all of their own pasta, sauces, everything. Their seafood is incredible too" I tell her.

"Good, I'm hungry."

We're both quiet for a few minutes before Anna breaks the silence.

"What do you think is going to happen?" she asks me.

"You mean being out in public?"

"Yeah."

"I requested a specific table that is away from others but we'll definitely be seen by everyone in the restaurant. I guess someone will see us and take a picture. Or, when we leave, someone could recognize me. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't."

"If it doesn't then we'll just have to go out on another date."

"That would be horrible" I tell her in a sarcastic tone.

"We want it to happen tonight so that they can move on Meagan and this can be over."

"Yeah, you're right. Hey, did anything happen with her today? Did she bother you?"

"No" she replies. "She probably thinks that she's letting me stew and worry."

"How does someone become that much of a bitch?"

Anna chuckles and replies "it might be a gift. She does it really well."

"Have you heard from your parents?" I ask.

I've been wondering all day when they'll be coming to Pittsburgh. If that call was difficult, meeting them in person is going to be brutal. Maybe I should invite my parents down too. Oh God, are we ready for the parents to meet. We haven't been together that long.

"No but I expect to hear soon. I'm sorry that you're going to have to experience them. If you still love me after that then it really is love" she chuckles.

I pull up in front of the restaurant for valet, turn to Anna and take her hand.

"It is love Anna. Don't joke about that" I tell her.

"I'm sorry Sid. I really was kidding around. It's a comment on the nightmare that is my mother and not about you and me. I love you too."

"Good" I tell her and get out of the car.

I exchange my keys for a valet receipt and tip the guy then go around to Anna's side of the car. I love that she's the type of girl that waits for a guy to open the door for her. I never realized that I like that in a girl.

We hold hands all the way to the door but before we can enter, I hear it.

"Sid!"

"Sid!"

"Sid!"

The restaurant is in a really busy area and it is Friday night so the side walk is busy. I've been noticed. Anna tries to slip away but I hold her close to me and look at her.

"Oh yeah" she whispers.

"Hi guys" I say and turn to the few people standing around me.

I pose for pictures with those who ask but don't let go of Anna's hand so that she gets into a few a few of them, which we'd both usually avoid but will work to our favour given the goal of this 'date.' Maybe since this is out of the way we can enjoy our date and forget about trying to get our picture taken.

"Are you Sid's girlfriend?"

I hear this question from a girl beside Anna and don't wait for Anna to answer.

"Yes, she is" I answer with a smile, wait a beat and then walk to the restaurant door with Anna.

When we get inside, both Anna and I pause and take a deep breath. Noticing this, we look at each other and chuckle.

"I hope that means we can enjoy our evening" Anna echoes my earlier thoughts.

"Let's decide to do just that" I tell her. "Forget everyone and everything else and focus on each other. Ok?"

Anna smiles and says "ok."

Hand in hand we walk further into the restaurant and the hostess greets us. I give her my name for the reservation and she smiles and seats us immediately.

When we're alone at our table, I reach over and take Anna's hand in mine and kiss it.

"I love when you do that" she tells me and then her cheeks pink.

"Good, because it's the only way that I can taste your gorgeous skin in public" I tell her. "I may do it often."

Anna's pink cheeks quickly deepen.

"You can't say things like that when we're out" she tells me.

I watch her physically squirm in her chair and re-cross her legs. This could be fun. It is so fucking hot to see how I affect her and knowing that it's the same as she affects me. I've been trying to keep my semi down since she opened her door to me and I saw her in this hot as hell dress.

It is simply exhilarating to be this free in public with how I feel for Anna. I'll have to be more circumspect when we're at Consol but it's nice to not worry about who might see and what that will mean.

The waiter arrives, tells us the specials and then asks what we want to drink.

"Wine?" I ask Anna.

"Yes, please" she says with a smile.

I look over the wine list and quickly pick out a Chianti. The waiter leaves and I turn my attention back to Anna noticing that she's staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

She pinks up again and replies "I just like looking at you. You really are handsome you know."

Now it's my turn to be embarrassed. I'm also curious.

"What's come over you?" I ask.

Anna frowns and asks "what do you mean?"

"Nothing bad" I quickly reassure. "You just seem different, I don't know, more open I guess."

"Oh" she looks down at our hands. "Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I feel more open."

"No need to explain. It's just nice to see you like this, feel you like this, and I can't wait to see how 'open' you are later."

Now Anna really blushes but we're interrupted by the waiter before I can say anything more. We go through the process of me tasting the wine and then he pours Anna then me a glass.

"It's delicious" Anna tells me. "Good choice. I guess we should look at the menu."

"I guess so."

Neither of us moves until Anna chuckles, pulls her hand from mine and opens her menu. I laugh and do the same. After we've ordered our dinner, I pick her hand up again. It's strange but I have a compulsion to keep touching Anna. It's not even in a sexual way. I simply need to have the physical connection.

I don't want to break the light hearted moment but I really need to know something.

"So" I begin. "What's going to happen when you're parents get here?"

"I suspect my mother will want to see me alone and I'll be lectured about keeping secrets, suitable dates, the effect both have on my father's career etc. I know what you're going to say" Anna says before I can open my mouth. "Sid, I think I should talk to them first. You may want to be there but my mother would see it as disrespectful if I didn't go alone first and I really don't want to start their visit in a negative way. Let me lay some ground work with them and then you could meet us."

I want to argue, disagree, vehemently, but Anna's look is pleading with me to understand. I guess I do understand even if I don't like it and she is including me after that meeting.

"Ok" I tell her begrudgingly. "I understand. As long as I can meet you guys directly afterward then I'll agree."

Anna's frown smooths and she smiles.

"Thank you Sid. It will be best. As to what you should expect; probably more of what we experienced on the phone; although I've never been in this situation before. I'm walking as blindly as you are at this point."

She stops talking and her lips purse like she's trying to figure out how to say something.

"Just say it Anna."

"The one thing I know that they'll ask, that my mother will ask, is what your intentions are?"

"Intentions?"

Now she looks really uncomfortable. What does she mean by 'intentions'?

"It's an old fashioned way of asking if we're going to get married" Anna says very quickly.

Oh. Um, oh.

"Oh" is all I can say since it's all I can think.

"Sid I'm not asking if we're going to get married nor am I suggesting that we should. All I'm saying is that my mother is going to ask and we should have an answer."

"Oh."

"Really Sid. You don't need worry about this at all. Simply say that we are in a monogamous relationship and that we're serious." She pauses. "That is if you think we're serious."

I break out of my haze and Anna's doubt breaks in.

"Anna, of course we're monogamous and serious."

She smiles that beautiful, loving smile that always warms my heart.

"Good" she says. "Then that's all I'd say. We haven't been together long enough to have even discussed the rest. We're still getting to know each other."

"Ok, good" I reply. "It's not like I'm saying we wouldn't ever get married it's just we really haven't, you know, been together that long, and, well, you know."

I'm doing this quite badly. I think the word 'marriage' has really rattled me. I definitely want to get married and have a family but I'm nowhere near thinking about that now or in the near future.

"Sid, really, I just want you prepared for the question. I'm not asking it" she squeezes my hand. "I don't need any more right now than knowing that you love me. I want to enjoy that for a while."

"So do I."

Our appetizers come and I realize that I'm starving. We both dig in and conversation turns to the upcoming road trip next week in Canada. The rest of the evening flies by. It's so easy to be with Anna. We talk and laugh and enjoy each other's company. It's a nice, really nice.

We walk out of the restaurant arm in arm. Thankfully, no one recognizes us and my car is waiting. It takes us no time to be on our way.

"Your place or mine?" I ask her with a lascivious tone.

Anna places a hand on my thigh and slides it up, slowly, until she's cupping me.

"Which one is closer?" she asks.

Yeah, we definitely need the closest.

 _ **Author's Note**_

 _ **I would LOVE to know what you think of this chapter. It took a little while to get just right and, yeah, you're right. It isn't going to be that easy to get rid of Meagan.**_

 _ **This is going to be my last chapter for about two weeks. I'm going on a much deserved vacation. Going to Florida and I have tickets to the Pens game there. Can't wait to see me some Sid live.**_

 _ **Shayla**_


	27. Chapter 27

Anna

"Anna, we're out of toothpaste. Where is the extra?" Sid yells to me.

I'm currently in the kitchen making coffee.

"It's in the drawer to the left of the sink" I yell back.

Could anything be more normal? My man is asking me where the toothpaste is while we get ready for the day. Of course there's been nothing normal about our lives the last few days and today is going to be another interesting one.

Our date last night caused a lot attention on the internet. There were Tweets, Snapchats, even something called a 'girlfriend blog' that I still don't understand. I didn't realize that Sid told his agent what was going on until he got an email from Pat's office with a summary of the internet action. It makes sense of course. I'm sure that my parents have their staff doing the same thing.

Putting aside all of the internet crap, I have to smile when I think about our date and what happened afterward. Sex with Sid has always been good. Oh, who am I kidding? Sex with Sid has been astronomically off the charts good. But, since we've gone through this recent bullshit, I've felt an intimacy with Sid that I didn't know was possible. Is there an end to the depths of my feelings for this man?

I feel Sid's hands circle my waist and his warm body press to my back.

"I love it when you put up your hair" he tells me and kisses the side of my neck. After a lick he says "it gives me great access."

I chuckle and reply "then I'll have to remember to do it more often."

"It makes me want to muss you up. You know how much I love to muss you up."

"Mmmm, not as much as I do" I tell him. "But we don't have time this morning. It's going to be a difficult day and I just want to get it started."

"Why will it be difficult?"

I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck.

"I'm either going to have to deal with Meagan, the fall out of our picture being everywhere or both. No matter what happens, it's not going to be an easy day."

"Can I do anything to help?"

"Just asking helps" I say and kiss him.

"Ok, but let me know if I can do anything, all right?"

"Alright" I tell him and move to the coffee maker.

I fill up my travel mug and turn back to Sid.

"I need to get going" I tell him.

"I should go home and change before I head to Consol."

We walk to the front door together and each gather our things. Sid continues to the basement parking with me and gets into the passenger side so that I can drive him to the visitor parking. I love how he insists on walking me to my car in the morning rather than parting ways at the lobby. My mother would call those 'southern manners.'

"I'll see you at the rink later" Sid says when we arrive at his car and kisses me. "Dinner tonight?"

"Sounds good but I'll have to see how the day goes before I can commit."

"We'll have dinner tonight and figure out the when once you see how your day is playing out."

"Perfect" I tell him.

With one more kiss, Sid grins and then gets out of the car. I drive away with a huge smile on my face despite what's probably waiting for me at the office.

The drive is quick and the office is as quiet as it usually is at this time of the morning. That's why I'm surprised when I hear my name.

"Anna" I turn around and see Jennifer. "Can I see you in my office please?"

"Of course" I respond automatically.

She doesn't look pissed off but she doesn't look happy either. Shit. I should have called Jen at some point before Sid and I made this whole thing public. I can't believe that I didn't think of it.

When we get to Jen's office, she closes the door and gestures to a seat at her side table. I sit and decide to wait for her to speak first.

"We have a lot to discuss" Jen begins. "First, I've spoken with legal and know everything that is going on. You should know that I will be speaking with Meagan within the hour to terminate her internship with us. She will be given an opportunity with the Rangers so that she can go back home to Brooklyn."

I guess that's what they're going to do to keep her quiet about challenging losing an internship. They'll probably pay off her remaining time here too.

"Two players have confirmed that Meagan violated her contract which gives us grounds for termination. Usually I wouldn't speak with another intern about this but I hardly think that this is a usual situation, is it?"

"No" I agree.

"There is one thing to get out of the way before we continue and this is personal." She takes a deep breath and I suspect that I know what's coming. "I can't imagine how difficult this has been given the complexity of Sid being the captain of the team, Meagan being who she is and your family, well, who your family is; but, I am pissed off that you didn't give me a heads up before you and Sid made this public. I know that your date was on advice of counsel and it was the right thing to do but I protect this team. I'm responsible for the public face of this team and I can't do that if I'm in the dark. I get that you were in over your head but surely you could have thought of it before date night."

I take a deep breath and measure my next words carefully.

"You're right and I sincerely apologize. You're right that I was in over my head and could only think of what was right in front of me. You're also right that I should have thought of you after the drama was over. I really am sorry for that, truly Jen."

"Ok, thank you." She takes a deep breath. "Let's put that behind us then and talk about what comes next. I know that you and Sid will behave professionally at work so I'm not worried about that at all. It's important that I get in front of this so we'll be having a team meeting directly after Meagan's termination. In fact, I'll have everyone together in a room while it's going on to prevent texts and rumours flying around before I can say anything."

That's a really good idea and reminds me how smart Jen is and how good she is at her job.

She continues "I will be announcing that Meagan has left the Pens to go back home. She'll have to sign a non-disclosure agreement so that story will hold. I will also be addressing you and Sid dating and will inform the team that you are not an employee. Nice loophole by the way."

"It wasn't planned that way. In fact, I didn't mention it to anyone until the lawyer said something about being paid."

"Who knew that doing the right thing could pay off?" she says on a chuckle. "It's your choice after that what you want to say or not say to anyone. The only thing the Pens require is that you do not speak for the Penguin's organization regarding your relationship with Sid. I'm sure you won't but I do need to say it."

"I completely understand and neither Sid nor I will be talking to anyone in the media about our relationship. Hopefully this attention will quiet down at some point and we can all simply do our work" I tell her.

"You don't really think that's what's going to happen, do you?"

I chuckle "I guess not but a girl can dream."

We both laugh now.

"Ok, I'd like you to stay in here until the team meeting please. I want the first thing people hear about what's going on to be from me. I'll bring your laptop in here so that you can work."

"Ok" I agree. When Jen gets up, I stop her. "I really am sorry that I didn't give you a heads up Jen. Thank you for being so great."

"You're welcome" she says and pats my arm as she passes me.

I sit back down and pull out my phone. There are four missed calls and seven texts; all from Adam. He's going to be pissed too. Yep, as I read them, his texts get more and more frantic until his last one says 'call me damnit!' To respect Jen's wishes, I ignore his requests and instead look at Sid's messages. He has sent me three:

'How is it going so far?'

'Why haven't you texted back?'

'Are you ok? Seriously, text me!'

That last one was two minutes ago.

I reply 'I'm here and ok. Was meeting with Jen. Everything is good. I'll give you the details later.'

'Thank God' Sid sends back. 'Was worried'

'She's meeting with M this morning and then team meeting'

'Are you ok? Really?'

'Yeah, feel bad I didn't give her heads up' I tell him

'Shit, didn't think of that'

'Me either but we're ok'

'Good, ok, leaving my house. See you later'

'Ok'

'I love you xo'

My heart warms at those three words and the cute 'x' and 'o'. Sid does romantic but he really never does cute and those letters are adorable.

'Me too, xo'

Next I send my morning text to Geno. I'm surprised when he responds by calling me.

"Hi Geno" I answer.

"You ok? Seen pictures on Twitter."

"Yeah, I'm ok Geno. Thank you so much for asking. We've figured it all out and Sid and I can be together without any issues. I can't really go into the details but we're going to be ok."

"Good no more secrets. You happy?"

He is the cutest man alive, seriously.

"Yes Geno" I say as Jen comes in and drops off my laptop.

She closes the door as she leaves again.

"Thank you for keeping our secret Geno and I'm very sorry that we put you in that position."

"You like a sister. I told Sid I break his face if he hurts you. After season of course."

"Of course" I reply and we both chuckle. "You're going to do media today, right? It's not a game day."

"Have to?" he asks.

I know he's teasing.

"Suck it up big boy and talk to the big bad press, ok?"

"Ok. You scary."

"You remember that" I tell him.

He laughs and we say goodbye. I open my laptop and start going through email. There is a lot to do so I don't even realize that an hour has gone by until Jen surprises me when she walks in the office.

"Ok, ready for the team meeting?" she asks.

"Yeah. Um, is everything ok?" I ask thinking about her meeting with Meagan.

"Not the most professional ending to a contract but it's all taken care of as planned."

I'd love to ask more but I don't think that I really should. We may be friendly but I want to respect her position as the boss too.

"That's good" I say. "That everything is taken care of" I quickly add.

"I know what you mean" she says and we both leave the office.

The meeting room is around the corner from her office so we're there quickly. No sooner do I enter then I can feel Adam's eyes on me. I look at him and give him a small smile to, hopefully, let him know that I'm ok.

"Thank you everyone for meeting first thing. I have a few announcements to make" Jen says.

All eyes are on her and all phones are turned off. It's the only hard and fast rule that Jen has: when we have our morning team meeting, everyone will turn off their phones and pays attention for thirty minutes. The entire organization knows about the rule and only interrupts the meeting if there's an emergency.

Jen starts with the announcement about Meagan leaving. She positions it exactly as she described to me earlier. Meagan is leaving to go back home to New York and will have an internship with the Rangers. Oblivious to the drama behind the scenes, a few people express that it's 'too bad' she's leaving and they hope everything is ok. Jen doesn't elaborate or answer their questions. Instead she moves onto the next topic and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach start flapping quickly. I mask my face with a neutral look, stare straight ahead at Jen and ignore everything else.

"The next thing I want to discuss is Sidney Crosby and Anna" Jen says. I feel eyes turn to me but maintain my composure and continue looking directly at Jen. "You've no doubt seen pictures from last night or heard about it. Yes, Anna and Sid are dating. No, it is not breach of contract for Anna as it would be for other interns. Anna has an unpaid internship with the Pens. She felt there was a conflict of interest since our program receives some state funding and her father is the Governor. I respect her position and that no one knew about it. It is not ideal to have a member of the staff dating our team captain but there is nothing wrong with it."

Jen looks around the table so that she makes eye contact with everyone. They know that she's serious.

She continues "if you are asked about their relationship, you're answer is 'no comment'. As with any other topic, there is to be no gossiping or talking about the players or members of the staff in any area where you could possibly be overheard and I'll remind you, that's just about anywhere. Nothing has changed with the team assignments or how we operate. It is business as usual. Are there any questions?"

Not surprisingly, there are none and Jen moves onto the day's schedule.

We all leave the conference room together but there is very little conversation. I think we all want to be sensitive to Jen's words about not gossiping so we aren't speaking at all. No sooner am I back at my desk then I receive a text from Adam.

'Starbucks. Now. Side alley.'

When I look up, I catch Adam walking away from the bullpen and down the hall to the elevator. I check my messages and calendar. Thankfully there is nothing pressing for the next hour so I can meet Adam's demanded coffee.

I wait a few minutes and then follow the same path Adam used until I'm outside in the alley. Damn, I should have brought my coat.

"Are you crazy? Here, take my jacket" Adam tells me and puts it around my shoulders. "Let's walk and talk. It's freezing out here."

We start walking towards Starbucks and I wait for Adam to begin. I'm sure he has a million questions but I'm unsure of what I can tell him.

"Ok, I don't even know where to begin girly" he tells me. "Spill the dirt."

"Adam" I begin.

"I know, I know" he breaks in. "You can't tell me everything but you have to dish the dirt about Sid."

"Ok, that I can do" I tell him. "It's not as exciting as you may think. It just kind of happened Adam, seriously. Mario is friendly with my father so he asked Sid to check in on me when I first started here. We had a few conversations then we were trapped in the elevator together."

"Oh yeah" Adam says in a salacious tone of voice.

"Nothing happened but conversation Adam" I tell him and smack his arm as we walk into Starbucks. "It was good conversation but that was it."

We both order and pay for our drinks. Thankfully we can keep talking because the store is currently empty.

"So when did something more than conversation happen?" Adam asks.

"I'm not going into all of those details" I tell him and continue when he tries to protest. "Seriously Adam, because of the situation and who he is, I really can't go into all of the details. I'm sorry."

I find that, for the first time in my life, I really am sorry and disappointed that I can't confide in someone; in a friend.

"I understand Anna" Adam says and wraps an arm around me after we grab our drinks and leave the store. "Ok, I really don't understand but I trust you Anna. This must have been heaven and hell for you."

"You understand it more than you think Adam. It has been both heaven and hell but I'm really happy that it's all out in the open and we don't have to lie or sneak around anymore. I hated having to lie to you Adam."

"I know you do Anna" he says and hugs me closer. "Let's get inside and warm up."

We swipe our cards and enter Consol. We chat about nothing important as we walk back to the office knowing that we can't continue our conversation where others could hear us. I see a few people watch us as we pass by. I guess I'm going to have to get used to being watched. This was the one place where no one even noticed me. I was invisible but that's changed and it's disappointing.

When I get back to my desk I dig into emails again until I need to go downstairs for the players' presser. This is going to be awkward and I can only pray that I'm not the object of the reporters' questions. If I am, then everything is lost because I can't do my job. Before I leave the elevator, I take a deep breath and then walk down the hall to the locker room. I actually smile when the smell hits me because of the familiarity and normalcy.

I see Pascal and Chris Kunitz who smile and say 'hi'. They are friendly but there is no subtext or anything unusual about the greeting. When I walk into the locker room, there is nothing strange or unusual here either.

"Finally you here" I hear behind me. "You take the day off now you date superstar?"

Three things happen next: I'm aware of an audible gasp from someone in the room; my heart falls into my stomach; and, I know that I have a decision to make. How I handle what comes next will set the tone for everything that comes after.

I turn around to face Geno grinning at me.

"You're just jealous because you wish it was you" I tell him trying for a saucy tone.

"But of course" he replies. "Tell me when you want go Russian."

I can't keep a straight face anymore and neither can Geno. It's like a pin has been poked into a balloon when Geno and I start laughing because everyone seems to let out a collective breath and laughs with us. The room goes back to normal and guys take off their gear and chatter at each other. When I turn back to Geno's stall, I notice that Sid is at his but I don't stop. Shit, I didn't realize that he was in the room. Hopefully he's ok with the teasing between me and Geno in front of everyone.

The presser happens the same way it always does and, since the team has been playing well, there is lightness to the room and the questions Geno is asked. I'm careful to not even look over in Sid's direction but I can't help but wonder if we should have talked about how we should react if someone asks about us. Was Sid ok with my teasing with Geno?

Sidney

Damnit! What the fuck is Geno doing? I definitely should have talked to him about what to say and how to act now that my relationship with Anna is out in the open. Does he think that joking about it is going to help? What the fuck? Should I jump in? Anna must be incredibly embarrassed and I hate that everyone is now staring at her and waiting for her response.

"You're just jealous because you wish it was you" Anna tells him joking.

"But of course" he replies. "Tell me when you want go Russian."

There is a pause and then everyone in the room starts laughing and the awkwardness is over. It seems that my team mate knows what he's doing after all. He managed to move the situation from awkward to ok in ten seconds. No one from the press will ask about it because it was made clear a very long time ago that my personal relationships are off limit to the press.

It takes forever for the presser to be over. In reality, I'm sure it took the usual amount of time but I want to talk to Anna and make sure that she's ok. I don't know how I'm going to figure out the talking part while at the rink but I'll figure something out. This time I'll just text.

'How are you?' I ask.

'Ok, team meeting went ok. Adam was pissed but we talked and all is good'

'Good. Dinner tonight? My place' I text her.

'Yes, great. Can I bring anything?'

'Just you' I reply. Then I have a thought. 'And maybe any sexy lingerie you may have'

'I might have a thing or two'

'Don't bring too many. You won't be in it long'

'lol'

'See you later babe'

'Bye xo'

A kiss and a hug. It's a little sad that I treasure those hugs and kisses but I always feel desperate for any affection she shows me. Maybe now that we aren't sneaking around she'll more secure and show affection more.

Having the night off, and with absolutely nothing to do, gives me a few ideas of what I want to do with Anna, to Anna. We might not even get to dinner until much later.

"Hey Sid" Suttsy calls from behind me.

I turn and say "yeah."

"A bunch of us are going out tonight. Just drinks, dancing. Do you and Anna want to come?"

I see a few of the guys beyond Sutter watching us. This feels like a night specifically created so that Anna and I could go out together. I desperately want to say no, I have all of these plans already forming, but it's crucial that the guys know that she's special to me, important, and going out in public will definitely do that.

"Sure, where and when?" I answer.

He gives me the details and it's a popular club, it's Saturday night so the place will be busy, and we will definitely be conspicuous.

When the guys leave, I text Anna immediately.

'Change of plans if you don't mind' I text.

'Of course, to what?'

'The guys & gfs/wives are going to a club and invited us'

She makes me wait for a few minutes and I wonder if she's made or upset with our change in plans.

'Sorry, had to take a call. That's ok with me. Nice they asked'

'Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll pick you up at 9pm?'

'Ok'

'Bye'

'Wait' she texts back immediately. 'Should I still wear that special lingerie?'

I almost groan at the thought of her in skimpy lace.

'It's up to you' is all I can say.

'Then I'll surprise you'

I think about that text all afternoon. 'Then I'll surprise you'. I keep imagining what she's going to wear and it's driving me crazy. I even leave my house early to pick her up because I can't stand waiting any longer.

When I get to her apartment twenty minutes early, I almost drive around the neighbourhood and wait until the right time; but, I really don't want to wait to see her. Instead I park and, thankfully, the guard is one I know so he lets me in the front door. Before going upstairs, I send Anna a text to let her know I'm early.

'I'm early' I text.

'No problem, come up, door's open'

Grinning ear to ear I take the elevator upstairs and find that she has unlocked the door for me. I like that.

"Hi Anna" I call out.

"Hi, make yourself comfortable. I'll be out in a few minutes" she shouts from the bedroom.

It's tempting to go to her bedroom and forgot about going out but the guys really want to see us together. Even Flower and Vero are coming.

I notice that the Canadiens' game is on the TV. This girl is incredible. She knows that I'm interested in this game since we play them in two days. I'm quickly engrossed in the game and drinking the bottle of water she left out for me.

"Ok, I think I'm ready. Sorry to make you wait" I hear her say as she walks into the room.

"It's my fault, I was earl" and then I see her and all thoughts fly out of my head.

Holy shit.

I've never seen her dressed in jeans before and now I never want to see her in anything but jeans. They are skin tight, hugging every curve and are tucked into knee high boots. Her blouse is black and shows a glimpse of her breasts. Then I notice her dark, red, full lips, her eyes are bright green shown off by dark eye make-up and her hair, holy hell, her hair is down and flows over her shoulders.

"Sid?"

I shake back into reality when Anna calls my name.

"Sorry, wow" I manage and watch Anna smile and blush. "You are gorgeous."

"Thanks" she says. When I'm standing in front of her, Anna raises a hand to my chest and smooths the material of my shirt. "You too, as usual."

"Ready?" I ask.

"Yep, let's go."

As we ride down the elevator, I tell Anna about who's coming tonight and where we're going.

"That's a lot of the team. Do you guys do this often?" she asks me.

"Um, no. Unless we're celebrating something. Some of them have kids now and rarely come out."

"Oh" she replies.

"I've never brought anyone with me when we've gone out like this so I guess more guys want to come."

"To check me out you mean."

"No, Anna, they know you. Given how much publicity there is about us dating, I think the guys want to be supportive."

"Oh, that's really nice" she says and smiles.

We talk more, about nothing really important, as we drive to the club and it's surprising how quickly the time passes. I take a deep breath before I get out of the car and hand the parking attendant my keys. Anna was helped out by another attendant and I meet her in front of the car to take her hand.

"Sid!"

"Sid!"

"Sid!"

"Sid!"

My name is called from various directions around us but I keep Anna close, wave to those calling my name and we walk directly into the club. We're greeted and follow the greeter into the club and to a roped off area where I can see a lot of the guys are already here. Anna's fingers tighten in my hand and I can tell that she's nervous.

"It'll be fun" I tell her. "Be yourself and everyone will love you."

She smiles and lightly kisses my lips.

"Come here" she says and wipes a thumb over my lips. "Lipstick."

As soon as we join the group, everyone greets us and I introduce Anna to the various girlfriends and wives. I'm stunned when I see Duper and Carole-Lyn.

"Hey bud" Duper says as he shakes my hand. He must notice that I'm surprised because he continues "of course we were going to come tonight. Our boy is all grown up."

"Oh fuck off" I tell him under my breath.

These guys are behaving like I've never had a girlfriend before. Idiots.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I ask Anna.

"White wine please" she answers.

She's in good hands with Carole-Lyn and Vero so I go to the bar to get our drinks.

"I can't believe you guys are here" I tell Duper as I wait for the drinks at our private bar.

"We may not make it past ten o'clock but we're here" he says. "Besides, there was no way that Carole-Lyn was going to miss tonight. Flower said Vero was the same way."

"I don't get it" I tell him. "I've had girlfriends before. You've met them."

"Yeah but this is different. Right?"

I think about what he's saying and he's right.

"Yeah, it is different" I confirm for him.

I look at Anna across the room and watch her laugh at something Vero is showing on her phone. I love watching her laugh. Maybe she'll do it more now.

"Yep, he's a goner" Flower says when he joins us. "All gooey eyed over a girl, eh Sid?"

"Takes one to know one?" I ask.

Flower looks at Vero and his expression softens.

"You bet your ass" he tells me.

We all laugh and the bartender brings us our drinks so the three of us go back to our girls.

"Thank you" Anna says when I hand her the wine.

I make sure that I'm never a foot away from Anna all night. She may know the players but in this setting they're my friends and I don't want to abandon her. Anna seems to be having a good time and enjoying talking to everyone. Periodically, her hand reaches for mine or she leans into my body and I pull her closer.

"Leave the girl alone Sid" Vero says and pulls Anna away. "We're going to dance."

Anna shrugs, hands me her glass and follows after Vero. A few of the other girls follow too and we watch them go. Leaning against a pole, I watch the girls find some room on the dance floor and I realize that I've never seen Anna dance. She's in those tight jeans too. This is going to be fun.

"V's pregnant" Flower says beside me.

I look at him, surprised, and say "congratulations! That's great."

"Thanks. Yeah we're excited. I haven't told anyone else, the family knows of course, but no one on the team. We should have it over the summer."

"Stella's going to love being a big sister."

"I hope so. There will only be two years between them so it's going to be loud that's for sure."

"What's it like?" I ask surprising us both.

"What's what like?"

"Being a dad."

Flower smiles so widely that I swear his teeth might all fall out.

"It's incredible" he tells me. "You can't describe the feeling of seeing a little human that you helped make. Then you see how they act, sometimes like you and sometimes like her, and it's overwhelming. The absolutely best is when Stella curls up in my arms and says 'I love you daddy'. It melts my heart every time."

"I want that" I say as I look at Anna.

"She's the kind you marry Sid" Flower tells me.

"Yeah, she is" I reply.

The girls cheer as a song they must like begins. They're all jumping around and dancing hard but I barely notice the others because my eyes are riveted on Anna. The way she moves to each beat of the music has my dick twitching with need. She turns and I get a full view of her gorgeous ass in those tight jeans. She turns again and I see her breasts bounce and push against her shirt with each movement. I see her body stiffen, only because I'm watching it so closely, and I glance in the same direction that Anna looks toward.

"Shit" I hear Flower say beside me.

Fuck. There's a group of guys trying to talk to the girls.

"They have some fucking balls doing this right in front of us" Tanger says as he joins us.

This could get ugly quickly if we don't handle it just right. I've got three easily heated Frenchmen always ready to go to war for their girls; although, the bigger problem right now is that I want to join them not talk them down. One of the assholes puts his hand on Anna's arm and I see red. He's fucking touching her.

I move quickly but Flower is in my way and puts his hand up.

"Let's do this smart" he tells me. "We're in public Sid. Let's just go down there and dance with the girls, ok?"

I take a couple of deep breaths because I know that he's right. It helps, slightly, and I lead the guys to the dance floor. I stop only when I'm standing directly behind Anna but my eyes are on the asshole standing beside her. Anna turns and grips my arm. It calms me, a little.

"You ok?" I ask Anna but still look at the asshole.

"Yeah, I'm good Sid" she answers and her hand slides up and down my bicep, soothing.

Almost by divine intervention, the music changes to a slow song and Anna turns more so that she's pressed against me.

"Dance with me" Anna whispers in my ear. When I don't move, she strokes my cheek and says again "dance with me Sidney."

My stare-down with the asshole changes only when he turns and leaves the dance floor. When he's out of site, I turn to Anna and pull her into my arms. Her arms encircle my neck, I wrap mine around her waist and pull her close to me. I immediately feel everywhere her warm body touches mine.

"I'm ok" she whispers in my ear. "I would have been very upset if that confrontation became physical but watching you stand up for me was hot." On the last word, she quickly bites my ear lobe. "Very hot."

My dick does more than twitch now. I desperately want to be alone and buried balls deep inside of her.

"Oh" she continues. "You haven't asked me about the special lingerie you requested."

Two can play this game.

"What kind of special lingerie are you wearing?" I ask.

"My bra is very sheer, very black and covers almost nothing" she tells me and I feel her hot breath in my ear.

"And, the rest?" I ask.

"What do you mean 'the rest'?"

"Tell me about the rest" I explain.

"There's nothing to tell" she replies. "Absolutely. Nothing."

Fuck me. She's commando. Fuck me.

"We need to leave, right now" I tell her.

"No" she replies. "I've never danced with you before and I'm enjoying it."

I chuckle.

"Well, you better stay close because I'm going to embarrass myself if anyone looks at me" I tell her.

Now she chuckles, again, directly in my ear.

"I can tell" she says. "I can especially feel."

She tightens her arms around my neck and I pull her even closer. My hands slide lower and I pull her harder against me. If this is all I'm going to get right now then I'm going to take advantage of the friction and try to find some relief.

As we shuffle to the beat of the music, Anna tilts and rotates her hips against me and part of me knows that I should tell her to stop but there's no fucking way I'm going to do that.

We continue to 'dance' and I stop thinking. My brain actually shuts down and I couldn't come up with a single coherent thought if my life was on the line. My entire body screams with need and I know that I need some kind of relief, immediately.

"Let's get some air" I tell her.

Without giving her time to respond, I pull her off of the dance floor and towards the bathrooms. There has to be an exit back here, right?

Shit, there's no exit but there is a nook near the janitor's closet so I pull her away from the public hallway and push her against the closet door. My mouth attacks hers immediately and she returns my kiss the same. I feast my hands on her ass and one of her legs slides up and around my hip. This allows me to push directly into the apex of her thighs and the friction of her jeans against mine makes me feel combustible.

I pull back and lean my forehead against hers. I'm breathing so hard it's like I double shifted.

"Whoa" she says.

"Yeah, whoa" I repeat.

I pull back and look at Anna which is clearly a bad move. Her lips are full, red and wet from mine. Her eyes are bright and wide. She's gorgeous.

"We really need to get out of her" I tell her. "Now."

"Yeah" she agrees and kisses me lightly. "Let's go."

I take a few deep breaths and will my body to calm the fuck down. When it finally obeys, sort of, I pull away from Anna and take her hand in mine. We push through the crowds until we're back with our group. Duper and Tanger are getting ready to leave so I take advantage and we say our goodbyes too.

When I say goodbye to Duper, he leans in and says "I like you too together. She's good for you kid."

"Thanks" I reply.

When we're driving away, Anna asks "what did Pascal say to you?"

I reach for her hand and reply "he said that he likes us together."

"Oh" is all she replies.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong" she says. "I guess I'm surprised that I was so easily accepted by everybody. Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad we went and I got to spend time with everyone socially. I guess I thought there would be more hoops to jump through to be accepted by them."

"They're not like that" I tell her feeling defensive.

"Sid, I didn't mean it that way. I mean that I thought they would be more protective of you or something."

Oh, that makes sense.

"Ok, we are like that with each other but they also know that I'm happy and they've known you from the rink" I tell her.

She slips her hand out of mine and leaves it on my thigh. Her fingers lightly trace up and down getting closer to my dick with each movement.

"What are you doing?" I tease her.

"Nothing" she fakes innocence.

"Mmm hmm" I reply.

Her fingers stray further up my thigh but this time they don't move back down. Instead, her fingers trace over my erection through my jeans. What the fuck is she doing?

"I'm going to drive off the road babe" I tell her.

She unclips her seat belt and leans into my side of the car.

"Maybe you should pull over" she whispers in my ear. "Just to be safe."

Anna licks my neck below my ear and I know that I'm going to get us into an accident if she keeps this up so I pull onto a side street and find a deserted area where they are building new homes. No one is moved in yet so we should be alone.

As soon as I've turn off the car, Anna's hand unbuttons and unzips my jeans then slips inside and closes over me.

"Oh fuck" I groan.

What the fuck is this woman doing to me? I have absolutely no control with her. She may be inexperienced but she's sure learned quickly and I'm currently reaping the benefits. Those nimble fingers play over me bringing me close to the brink which is why I'm surprised when her fingers pull away. I'm even more surprised when her lips replace her fingers.

I lose my fingers in her hair as she bobs her head up and down taking my dick in and out of her hot, wet mouth. I've been worked up all night so I know that I'm not going to last very long if she keeps up what she's doing.

"I'm not going to last long babe" I tell her.

She increases her speed rather than pulling back and, I'm right, I don't last much longer.

When I can finally open my eyes, I look over at Anna and she has a shy smile on her face. I love when she gets all embarrassed and shy. She looks so beautiful.

"Why don't I get you home so that I can thank you properly" I tell her.

"Yes please" she replies with another shy smile.

My house is closer so I drive us there, quickly.

This time we manage to get to the bedroom. I take off my jacket, help Anna with hers and then sit on the bed.

"Ok, now show me how little is under there" I tell her.

I watch a myriad of expressions flash over her face. First, she definitely looks embarrassed and unsure. Thankfully, that's followed by her shy smile which turns into her sexy smile.

"Ok then" she replies.

First she unzips and slips off her boots. Next, and slowly, she unbuttons her blouse one small button at a time revealing creamy white skin. She was right about the bra because it is completely see through and causes me to lick my lips. I would love to taste those nipples through that sheer fabric.

Anna shrugs the blouse off of her shoulders when it is completely open and untucked from her jeans. She reaches for the button of those jeans next but is stop her.

"Come here" I tell her.

She walks slowly towards me, hips swinging slowly side to side, her breasts slightly sway with them. My fingers are actually tingling with the need to touch her gorgeous body.

Anna stops directly in front of me between my legs but I refrain from touching her. Leaving my hands on the bed, I lean in and places soft kisses across the skin exposed between her bra and jeans. I feel her stomach quiver under my lips.

Pulling back, I look up and see Anna biting her bottom lips. Fuck she's hot.

"Take off your jeans" I tell her. "Slowly."

Her eyes stay on mine as she reaches for the button of her jeans. My eyes stray to follow her hands. First, she releases the button. Next, her fingers slowly slide the zipper down. Fuck me. She really is going commando tonight. Her jeans are so tight that she has trouble pushing them down over her hips.

"Let me" I tell her and replace my hands with hers.

I tug the jeans down, slowly, enjoying the feel of her warm smooth skin against my fingers. I hear her sharp intake of breath when the jeans slip of her ass. I lean in and kiss the apex of her thighs and she shivers. I love when she does that so I kiss her again.

I pull her closer so that she straddles my waist and I flip her over so she's lying on the bed. Immediately, Anna is clawing at my back and pulling my shirt over my head.

"I need to feel you" she whispers and kisses my now bare shoulders.

I slide down her body until I'm kneeling on the floor and pull Anna with me so that she's at the edge of the bed with her legs wide open. I kiss up one thigh and then the other. Anna quivers beneath my lips and moans. Fuck she's so hot when she moans.

"Sid" she cries out and her hips tilt up seeking my touch.

I slip one finger inside of her and swirl it around. I keep that up for a few moments and then I slip in another finger and lean down to suck her clit into my mouth. Anna rotates her hips instinctively pushing further into my face. I'm stunned when she cums soon after.

I use the bed sheet to wipe my face and then climb up onto the bed beside her and stroke her face while she comes down from her high. It takes more than a few minutes for Anna to finally open her eyes. They blink at me before she can focus again.

"Hi" I say softly and kiss her.

"Hi yourself."

"That was pretty quick" I tease her and watch her blush.

She's still in her bra so I help her out of it so that she's naked then she reaches for my jeans.

"Looking for more are you" I tease.

"Always" she tells me.

She's not teasing. She's actually serious and not blushing. Wow.

"How about the shower?" I ask.

"That's a great idea."

I stand up and pull Anna with me. She walks ahead of me into the bathroom.

"You are so fucking hot" slips out of my mouth before I can think about it.

Anna turns around, clasps my face in her hands and kisses me. Hard. Thoroughly. She kisses me with enough force that I'm pushed up against the shower door. I don't know what has made her so aggressive suddenly but I'm not going to complain.

I push her back so that I can reach into the shower and turn the jets on. Anna makes herself busy with pushing my jeans and shorts off of me.

Before she can throw my jeans on the floor, I say "grab a condom from the back pocket."

She does then I pull her into the shower with me. As we're soaked by the jets with hot water, our hands explore each other's body and our lips attack each other's mouths. I'm so hard again. I need her now.

Anna must sense this because she pulls back and opens the condom packet. I watch as she slips it on me, holds the tip and rolls it down. I almost explode at her soft touch. Her arms encircle my neck when she stands and she kisses me quickly.

"Now Sid, please now."

I reverse our positions so that Anna's against the wall and hitch her up so that she can wrap her legs around my waist. Anna reaches between us and positions me perfectly. One thrust and I'm buried inside of her.

"This is going to be fast" I tell her.

"Please, now, yes" she cries out.

I set a fast pace and am vaguely aware that Anna is banging against the tile wall. I'm too far gone to stop and, when Anna's nails dig into my shoulders, I know that she's right there with me. I feel Anna begin to stiffen and she moans long and low like she does when she's about to cum. I let myself go with one final thrust and hold her high against the wall.

Slowly, Anna slides down my body until she's standing in front of me. I push her wet hair back from her face and kiss her lips softly but deeply.

"Wow" Anna says when we part. "I think I may have a bruise or two tomorrow."

"Oh no, I'm sorry."

"Oh there is no need to apologize Sid. That was incredible" she tells me and runs her hands through my hair. On a yawn, she continues "let's actually wash up and then go to bed. I'm exhausted."

Before she can pull out of my arms, I kiss her again.

"I love you babe."

"Awe" she says. "I love you too Sidney. Very much."


	28. Chapter 28

Anna

"I don't like it."

Sid has been arguing with me for the last ten minutes. My parents arrive tomorrow and I know it's best if I meet with them first and then Sid joins us for dinner. If my mother is going to be obnoxious then I want it to be aimed at me first. I also know that there will be things that she won't say in front of Sid and I'm going to have to hear them at some time so we might as well get it all over at once.

"Sid, I know you don't like it but I know them and this is the best way" I try to reason with him, again. "I'll visit with them first and we can catch up since I haven't seen them in a while. You can join us after that for dinner and they can get to know you."

I slide onto his lap hoping that I can convince him if we're face to face, lip to lip. We're on the sofa at his house watching TV after dinner. Sid was flipping between two games until I received an email from my father's scheduler confirming that they will be here tomorrow. Thankfully they chose from one of the dates I gave them so there is no game tomorrow.

I straddle Sid's lap and grasp his face in both of my hands before kissing him once then twice. Sid sighs deeply.

"I want to be with you Anna. You shouldn't have to face them alone since it about us."

"I don't disagree with you and I would love to have you with me. The problem is that I know it will go over better with my parents if I meet with them first. They'll think it's disrespectful if I argue with them in front of anyone. Hell, my mother won't like it either way but this way they will only hold it against me and not both of us."

"I don't like it but ok" he says. "You know them better."

I kiss him and say "thank you."

He grabs my pony tail and pulls my head back.

"But you need to remember that I am here for you and I'm only giving you an hour with them before I join you." I try to protest but he stops me. "I'm serious Anna. I'll respect what you want but only to a point. You will not be alone."

I feel my eyes fill.

"I guess I have a lot to learn about relationships" I tell him.

"Then I'm glad that I'm a good captain. I'll lead us."

"That was so corny" I tell him and roll my eyes. "But lovely."

We kiss softly, sweetly. Our lips sip at each other, sliding easily, exploring and testing. Sid's hand on my pony tail pulls the elastic out so that he can bury his fingers in my hair. He changes the direction to give us better access to each other. I moan when his tongue traces my bottom lip which gives him access to enter.

"Mmmm" I moan again when Sid's tongue slides over mine.

My hips begin to rock against his, rotating slowly, pushing to create friction. I can feel the seam of his jeans, as well as what's beneath that seam, pushing up against me through my yoga pants. Sid's free hand slides under my sweatshirt and up my back. I shiver at the feeling of skin on skin.

"No bra babe" he whispers against my lips. "I definitely like that."

I chuckle against his lips but then all laughter leaves me when I feel his hand slide to my side and his thumb flicks over my nipple. I moan when he does it again and push my hips harder into his.

What began as a sweet kiss quickly becomes a hot make out session. When we finally pull apart, we're both breathing heavily and trying to control ourselves.

"We said we were going to get a good night's sleep" I tell him.

"I know we were" Sid replies.

"I can't seem to care."

"Neither can I" he says and kisses me again.

When we pull away this time, I place a hand on his chest to hold him back from me and try to gather my thoughts.

"Seriously, we need to go to bed" I tell him. "Tomorrow is going to be a brutal day for both of us. We need sleep."

"I need you first" he tells me and stands with me still in his arms.

I wrap my legs around his waist and hold on tight to his shoulders. He watches where he's taking us carefully as he walks up the stairs and I take advantage to taste his skin a this neck. I kiss, lick and bite his neck.

"Stop that or I may drop you" he says in a low voice that's almost a growl.

"It would be worth it" I tell him and bite down on his clavicle that's showing now that his shirt is askew.

With every step, I feel more and more desperate for him. It's this desperation that has me biting, hard, at Sid's neck.

"Fuck" Sid yells and he stops at the stair's landing.

He pushes me down to the floor and holds me there covering my body with his own. I open my legs so that he can slide between them and I push at his jeans finally using my feet to push them off all the way. Sid lifts long enough to strip off my yoga pants.

"Shit" he says.

Sid stands suddenly, pulling me with him by my hand and then drags me to the bedroom. I jump on the bed and watch as Sid pulls a condom out of the side table. He strips off his shirt, I do the same, and he quickly puts on the condom. When he's finished, I'm more than ready for him and Sid knows it. In one smooth and quick motion, he's on the bed, on me, and thrusts into me.

"Ah" I cry out.

"Ok?" Sid stops.

"Yes, no, don't stop. Please Sid, I need you."

He pulls out and then thrusts hard again. I raise my hips to meet him and we find a fast, frantic rhythm, desperate for each other. Over and over, Sid thrusts in and out while I hold on tight and meet each one.

It's quick, really quick, when I feel the coiling in my stomach and my skin is electric. My orgasm rips through me and Sid follows. He lands on top of me and I hold him close while we each ride out the last of our pleasure.

"Still lots of time for sleep" he tells me and chuckles in my ear.

"That was unexpected" I tell him. "Although I guess that I should expect the unexpected with you."

Sid rolls to his side and takes me with him so that we're facing each other and brushes my hair back from my face. It's a beautiful, sweet and loving gesture. It makes me feel cherished.

"It's never been like that before" he tells me. "I've never experienced such a desperate need or such a strong reaction to any other girl in my life."

The tone is his voice is reverent and I know my eyes fill in response.

"I love you so much Sidney" is all I can manage in response.

We kiss softly.

"Ok, you were right before, we need sleep" he tells me and pulls be up with him.

Sid goes to the bathroom first and I pick up and pull on his tee shirt. I love to sleep in his tee shirts. After picking up all of our clothes, I glance up as Sid comes back into the bedroom. He goes directly to and into the bed. I don't know how he can sleep naked but he does regularly.

I go into the bathroom and clean up. Once my bedtime routines are completed, I join Sid and stop at the end of the bed. Sid is sprawled on his stomach and snoring softly. He's so cute.

I climb in next to him and quickly join him in sleep.

Sidney

"Sid, I will be fine, I promise" Anna tries to reassure me. "I've known them my whole life you know."

Instinctively I know that she'll be ok but I really want to support her in talking with her parents and I don't like that I won't be with her first.

"Ok fine" I say as I watch her put her make-up on. "I just want to be there for you."

"I know you do and I love you for it. Honestly, my mother in particular will like this approach much better. You're an outsider to her." She looks at me and quickly says "Not to me of course."

"I get it" I reassure her.

This is going to be a very stressful day for Anna and I wish that there was something more that I could do for her to make it easier.

When she's finished her hair and make-up, I follow her to the bedroom and lie on the bed to watch her dress. She carefully takes out the clothes she brought with her to my house: a skirt, blouse, jacket, shoes. It looks like she is going all out. I haven't seen her dress up like this since the beginning of the season. As she dresses, she reviews the day's schedule again. It's really cute how she keeps reminding me like I'm Geno and she's planning my day of press and activities.

"Are you listening?" she asks impatiently.

This is the first crack in her otherwise calm exterior. Finally she's giving me an in to talk about how nervous she is and I'm definitely going to take advantage of it.

I stand and walk over to her standing in her bra and panties. I keep my hands to myself because we'll never get out of her if I touch her now.

"I've heard it every time you've explained it babe" I tell her. "It's going to be fine. I know where I'm going and when I need to be there and I'll be on time, I promise."

"I'm being annoying aren't I?"

I decide to chance it and pull her into my arms.

"You're being adorable" I kiss her temple. "It will all go well. You're worrying too much."

A small itch in the back of my brain wonders if I really believe that after everything I've heard and seen about her mother in particular. I've met the Governor once or twice at Mario's home but really don't remember either time much. Who knew that it could be so helpful years later?

"Ok" she pulls back and kisses my lips lightly. "Let me get dressed and then I'm ready to go."

"Breakfast?" I ask.

"I'll get something at Consol."

"Ok" I tell her and leave her so that I can dress too.

I'll have time to come home after practice, before I meet Anna and her parents for dinner, for which I'm grateful because I don't want to explain why I'm in a suit on a non-game day to the guys. I'll get enough chirping afterward.

As I walk out of my closet after dressing, I see that she's dressed but sitting on the bed staring down at the shoes in her hands.

I kneel in front of her, take the shoes and replace them with my hands holding hers.

"Baby, it's going to be ok" I tell her. "I promise that we'll get through it and everything will be fine."

"I know it will" she tells me but her eyes are wet.

I cup her cheek and wipe away a tear that has escaped down her cheek.

"Then why the tears?" I ask.

"I knew that we'd have to deal with them but I hoped, prayed even, that they wouldn't care as much since I was far away from them. Or maybe they wouldn't care because this is an internship and it will end."

"You mean that we'll end?" I ask.

"No Sid, definitely no. Not for me at least but maybe my mother would think that way." She pauses and then gives me a watery smiles "it was wishful thinking for sure."

"I believe in wishes" I tell her and kiss her softly.

"Thank you" she says. "Ok, let's get going."

I stand and bring her with me holding one hand while she puts on her shoes. Hand in hand we walk to our cars.

"Remember, just text or call me if you want to talk, ok?" I tell her and she nods. "Everything is going to be fine."

She nods and I kiss her again hoping that I'm right and everything will be fine.

Anna

I take a couple of deep breaths before the elevator doors open and try to calm myself. I've been nauseous since I heard they had arrived. My mother is going to be difficult and that's an understatement. The doors open and I know that there is no turning back.

The security give me nods and a door opens at the end of the hall.

"Anna!" I hear.

"Matthew!" I'm pleasantly surprised to see him.

I guess I should have known he would be here and it's good to see him. We hug and greet each other.

"It's so good to see you" I tell him.

"It's great to see you too. You look beautiful" he tells me.

I know that I blush when I reply "thank you. And thank you so much for your help with Evgeni Malkin's brother."

"Please stop thanking me" he tells me. "I didn't do that much."

We stand smiling at each other. It really is good to see him and have someone friendly here.

"Is she in a good mood?" I ask him.

I would never speak negatively of my mother to anyone but I'm comfortable enough with Matthew to ask this much.

"She's been very polite all day" he tells me with a wry smile.

We both know what that means: she's in the most horrible of moods. The more polite she is, the worst her mood is because she's trying to cover it up.

"Ok, let's go" I tell him.

Matthew opens the door and holds it for me to enter. The room is buzzing with people huddled in three or four and talking in hushed tones. I see a sitting area near the window of the large suite where my mother and father are currently sitting. When I'm noticed, the room hushes and my mother looks my way.

"Annabelle!" my mother says excitedly, stands and walks quickly my way while I try not to cringe at the full use of my name.

"Mother" I reply and meet her half way across the room.

We embrace then mom pulls back and holds me arm's length away while she looks me up and down. She must be ok with my appearance because she doesn't comment.

"Come say hello to your father" she tells me and pulls me further into the room.

I notice all of the staff leave the room quietly until the three of us are alone. My mother doesn't even need to tell them what to do because they've been part of my father's staff for years and know 'their place.'

"Darling, our Annabelle is here" she tells my father when he doesn't look up from his phone.

Dad puts down his phone, takes off his glasses and stands to greet me. He hugs me close for a few moments and I feel nostalgia for days when there wasn't staff and scheduling required just to talk to each other.

"Sit Annabelle and tell us all about your little job" Mom tells me.

She and my father sit together on one sofa and I sit on one opposite them. Let the grilling begin.

My mother pours us sweet tea while I tell them about my internship. I focus on my responsibilities with Geno and the role that most interns never get.

"Well they know a smart and talented girl when they see one" dad says.

"Thank you dad" I reply with my inbred good manners.

"Now tell us about this Sidney you've been seeing" mother tells me.

Of course it's not a question or a request, that's not her style. Instead, it is a demand to 'tell us' and the expectation that I will obey. Of course I will.

"His name is Sidney Crosby. He's from a small town in eastern Canada where most of his extended family live" I begin. I want to get what mother calls 'lineage' out of the way. I'm sure she knows everything I'm telling her but it's expected that I give a complete accounting. "The coaches knew when he was very young that he had an extraordinary talent for hockey. His father was drafted by a prominent Canadian team."

They don't need to know he didn't even play a game. I take a sip of my tea before continuing.

"Hockey has a different structure than football. Those that are the most talented don't play at schools generally but play in junior leagues until they are eighteen and can join the professional teams. Sid was always the best on his team and in the league. He's the best in the world right now" I tell them.

Mother looks annoyed. She's had enough of the background and wants to know how we met and what's going on with her daughter and this man she doesn't know.

"Anyway, I got to know Sid as I was working with Geno. They often do things together because they're the best players on the team. As I got to know Sid, I really liked him and we started spending time together, quietly, so that no one knew."

"You snuck around with this boy" mother says with emphasis on 'this boy'. "What kind of young man is ashamed to be seen with a girl he's dating?"

"It's not quite like that mother" I disagree and try to do so as softly as possible since this is going to reflect on Sid when he gets here. "Everyone in Pittsburgh knows Sid and he would be recognized everywhere which means our picture would be taken and posted. I also didn't want anything to be weird at work so we didn't tell anyone that we were seeing each other."

"Clearly that wasn't the right strategy" she tells me. "What is the rule you're supposed to follow when you have new 'friends'?"

"I talk to you so that we can evaluate the public relations implications" I recite from memory.

"That's right. We do that so there are no frantic calls and clearing schedules for last minute trips to Pittsburgh. Luckily, your father is able to make a few appearances and have meetings while we're here but the staff had to work very hard to make that happen. You should know by now Annabelle. This isn't just your life that you impact. You need to be much more considerate of your father, his position and the effect of others around you. Instead you again demonstrate how selfish you are" she finishes and smooths out invisible wrinkles in her skirt. "You wanted to have this little job and, against my better judgement, your father and I agreed but now it is impacting this family and it must end."

I feel my blood run cold. This is my worst fear realized, one that I kept trying to push out of my mind when I was considering this visit. What if my parents demand that I quit my job?

"Mother, please, it's only a few more months" I beg her. "The internship ends at the end of the season. Please let me stay and finish it out. I made a commitment" I tell her.

If she won't agree to do it for me then maybe she'll do it for the optics of the commitment I've made to the team. It wouldn't look, good now that it's public knowledge that I'm here, if I leave suddenly.

"Then you'll need to break it" she tells me.

"Mother, it's in the media now. I know that it's not ideal but this is the situation that we're in and it does have an end date."

She's silent now and I know that she's considering the implications of what I've said. She glances at my father and he nods.

"Ok Annabelle, you can finish out this internship. At the end of it, you'll come home and join the campaign. You can pick up your work with that little charity too" she tells me.

"You mean the National Children's Literacy Foundation?" I ask.

"Oh, yes, that one. It will work very well with your father's education platform."

"Ok" I respond.

Right now I'd agree to anything if they let me stay for the rest of the season. I'll deal with what comes after that later. Besides, Sid may already have left me by then.

"When we were in New York, we saw the Petersons" she tells me.

I don't understand this sudden change in topic but as long as we aren't discussing me then I'll play along.

"And how are they?" I ask.

"They are doing very well. We caught up on their travels and their family. Their son has graduated from Harvard Law, passed the bar and is working for the top law firm in New York. Apparently he is doing very well too" she tells me.

"That's nice" I reply suspecting exactly where she's going.

"Yes, he will make a very good match" she tells me.

"Match for what?"

"Why for you of course Annabelle. He's of a marrying age and you will be done with this job soon so the timing is perfect. The only thing we'll need to decide is if the wedding is before the election or if we have a White House wedding."

This isn't the first time she's tried to introduce me to a man of a 'suitable' pedigree who is ready for marriage; but, it is the first time that she's talked about it like it's decided and I don't have a choice.

"Mother, I'm with Sid now" I remind her.

"Oh please" she waves her hand. "That's one of those short term romances that you need to have before you marry the right man. Remember, you said that everything will end at the end of the season."

"Not everything mother."

"Of course everything" she dismisses me. "Speaking of which, shouldn't Sidney be here soon?"

As if her question summons him, there is a knock at the door, so I jump up to answer it.

As I walk to the door, I take deep breaths, try to calm down and act like my mother isn't marrying me off like I'm chattel.

Sidney

I immediately smile when I see that it's Anna who has opened the door for me. That smile is quickly replaced with concern when I see that she's pale and her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Sid, please come in" she says in a loud voice.

Whatever is going on, she clearly doesn't want to discuss it and doesn't want me to ask further about it.

As I walk in, Anna briefly takes my hand and squeezes it. That one move gives me some comfort that she's ok regardless of what just happened.

I watch Anna's parents stand as I approach the sitting area. Her mother is short, can't be more than five feet tall with heels, and has blond hair and green eyes. The eyes are the only thing that I see Anna inherited from her.

I hold out my hand to her.

"Mrs. Stanton, it's great to meet you" I tell her and hand the flowers I brought to her.

"These are lovely Sidney. Thank you. It is wonderful to meet you" she says as she shakes my hand.

"Governor" I say as I turn to him and hold out my hand.

"Crosby" he takes my hand in his and shakes it, hard.

Ok, I get it. He's a powerful Governor and I'm dating his daughter.

"Please sit Sidney" Mrs. Stanton gestures to the sofa.

I sit and Anna joins me. The Governor sits opposite us and Mrs. Stanton hands the flowers to a server who has magically appeared.

"Would you care for some wine Sidney? We have a lovely chardonnay from Napa" she tells me.

"Yes, thank you" I answer.

Mrs. Stanton simply glances to the server who leaves quickly.

"Tells us about yourself Crosby" the Governor says.

It's actually more of a command then a question. I wonder specifically what he wants to know but instinctively know that I shouldn't ask. Ok, I guess he's going to get a Crosby history.

"I'm from eastern Canada, a small town called Cole Harbour. Most of my family is in that area, aunts, uncles, cousins. My parents still live in the same house I grew up in although they spend time in Pittsburgh too" I tell them.

"The same house?" Mrs. Stanton asks.

"I keep offering to buy or build one for them but they want to stay where they are. They've let me renovated it at least."

"And where do you live?" she asks.

"I have a house just outside of Cole Harbour, on a lake, where I spend some of my summer. I also have a home here in Pittsburgh."

The server comes back and hands us each a glass of wine. Mrs. Stanton dismisses her with a glance when she's finished.

"When did you start playing hockey?" the Governor asks.

I feel like I'm watching tennis match. The Governor asks me a question so I look at him, then Mrs. Stanton asks me a question so I 'volley' my glance over to her. I look back and forth and back and forth while they ask questions and I answer.

"I first put skates on when I was three years old. My parents say that I loved it right away" I can't remember details of first playing but I remember the feeling of fun and freedom on the ice. "I started playing in a league when I was five and I've played ever since."

"Why did you continue playing? Did you want to or was it your parent's influence?" Mrs. Stanton asks me.

"I think I started because my dad put me on the ice and I loved skating with him; but, I kept playing because I had fun, a lot of fun, and I quickly became competitive and loved to win too. So I played in the system through elementary school and into high school. I always played with kids older than myself, usually two or three years, but when you get to a certain point, they won't let you play with teams outside of your age group. Anyway, I went to Shattuck St. Mary for a year until I could go to the Major Junior league and went to Quebec."

"What about school?" the Governor asks.

"Actually, school was the most important thing to my parents. I wasn't allowed to play hockey if I wasn't doing well in school. Homework had to be finished before I could play street hockey with my friends and I needed to have good grades or else I couldn't play in games. They always made the point that if I didn't play then I would be letting down my team mates and coaches."

I look at Mrs. Stanton and she smiles at me.

"Did you go to college?" she asks.

The question 'ball' volley's back to her.

"No" I answer. "I played in the Quebec Major Junior League until I was drafted into the NHL when I was eighteen and I've played there ever since."

"With Pittsburgh" the Governor says.

"Yes with Pittsburgh."

"It's a good city" he says. "Great hard working people. It might not still be 'steel town' but it still holds a firm, deeply held belief that hard work is the best way."

"The people here have always been welcoming to me and to the entire Pens organization" I agree with him. "You can see it when new players come to the team. The city immediately welcomes them and makes them feel at home here. Every player or coach who has ever been with the team have all commented about the great people of this city."

"That's what Mario says" Mrs. Stanton says. "Nathalie too."

"What about your parents Crosby? What does your father do?" the Governor asks.

"My dad played hockey too. He was drafted by the Montreal Canadiens but retired before playing for them though because he blew out his knee. When I was born, my parents did whatever they could to afford equipment so that I could play. I remember that my mother had two jobs once. Hockey is a very expensive sport, especially the equipment and the skates, and my family didn't have a lot of money so they often had to work long hours." I tell him.

"And now?" Mrs. Stanton asks.

"Now my mother doesn't have to work. My father doesn't either but he's like my business manager. It's comforting to know that I have dad watching over my money and the details of my career so that I can focus on my game. I have an agent of course and he and his team do a lot of the day to day and administrative work; but, my dad oversees things and makes sure that I'm involved in the right decisions."

"Family is essential no matter if it's personal or professional. You know that you can count of your family to support you and do the right thing by you every time" Mrs. Stanton says and glances at Anna.

I can feel the undercurrents flowing around the room especially between mother and daughter. I'm desperate to ask about it but Anna would be upset that I brought it up in front of her parents so I remain silent.

There's a knock on the door and the server returns.

"Are you ready for dinner Mrs. Stanton?"

"Yes" she says to the server and then back to us "shall we move to the dining room?"

We all stand and follow Mrs. Stanton to the dining room table. How big is this suite? Anna's hand brushes mine briefly before she walks ahead of me. I pull out her chair when we get to the table and notice an approving look from her mother. Good thing I anticipated that this meal would include a 'manners' test with dinner.

I sit at the place across from Anna as her parents sit at each head of the table. The moment we're seated, the servers place our appetizers in front of us and the sommelier pours us more wine. It's all very surreal feeling. Since I got here, Anna hasn't said a word, not one word about anything. Her parents have been asking me questions and I've been answering them. It's time to change the conversation.

"I was reading about your education plan" I say to the Governor. "They're saying that it's going to revolutionize public education."

He smiles and responds "I don't know about revolutionizing anything but we're hopeful that it's going to educate more children. Education is the silver bullet to reducing government programs like welfare. If people can work to sustain themselves then they don't need government money."

"It is a revolutionary idea dear" Mrs. Stanton says to the Governor. "A republican has never used education as a means of making government smaller and saving money."

The Governor smiles and begins talking about his new program. This must have been the right topic to bring up because he's animated as he describes the details. It's interesting to watch him. I can actually see some of Anna as he passionately discusses his education program. Anna speaks that passionately when she talks about her work with Geno and especially when he does something new with the media.

"It's radical for a Republican to want to spend money now for savings in the future but we're slowly winning others over" Mrs. Stanton says.

This is a different side of Anna's mother. She's looking at the Governor with love and admiration. I've only thought of her as the woman who makes Anna cry and self-loathing. It's a reminder that no one is all good or all bad.

My mind wanders a bit as the Governor continues to explain his program and the Bill that supports it. I can tell that he's already thinking about taking it national if he becomes the President. The plans are easily scalable and he's talking about how to replicate and sustain it beyond the next term. It's fascinating to watch.

Since the Governor is enthralled with talk about his program and Mrs. Stanton is watching him, I spare a glance across the table at Anna. Currently, she's watching her plate as she pushes the food around on it. She is still pale and unusually quiet. I'm worried about her but there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do about it right now. What happened before I got here that has made her this way now?

The servers clear our appetizer dishes and I realize that I've eaten everything on it but don't know what was even there. This is very weird. My focus is divided between wanting to impress the Stanton's so that they like me and are ok with Anna and I being together, worrying about Anna and what might have happened before I got here and wanting to leave immediately, with Anna, and never come back.

"I hope that you like Chasseur Chicken Sidney. The chef at this hotel is famous for it and makes it every time we come to this hotel" Mrs. Stanton says.

"It looks delicious" I answer as a server places a dish in front of me.

It does look delicious, what there is of it of course. I guess this hotel isn't used to having hockey players eat here because I could eat four of these plates and still want more. When we all have our dinner, the servers leave as quietly as they arrived. It's eerie. I've been to dinners with politicians before and it's never been this weird.

There is a knock on the door and a man in a suit walks in.

"Governor, Mrs. Stanton, I'm sorry for interrupting" the man says.

"Come in Matthew" the Governor says.

"Thank you sir" Matthew says and walks further into the room. "The White House Chief of Staff's office is on the phone for you Governor."

"Thank you, I'll be there directly" the Governor replies and Matthew leaves. "My apologies Crosby, ladies, I will be back as soon as I'm able."

"Ok dear" Mrs. Stanton tells the Governor as he walks out of the room.

"Sidney, we are so sorry that we could not come when you were playing. It would have been wonderful to see a game. We'll have to come back this way when you are playing" Mrs. Stanton tells me.

"That would have been nice but we're happy that you could come so soon" I reply and gesture to Anna.

She offers a small smile and nods.

"Maybe when we're able to come back, we can bring Anna's sister with us" Mrs. Stanton continues. "She is so busy right now. She leads a Washington charity that preserves our countries most valuable antiquities and artifacts. They are working on a home right now in Virginia where Betsy Ross was raised."

Mrs. Stanton speaks with incredible pride in her voice when she talks about Anna's sister and yet I've never heard her say a word about Anna's accomplishments.

"That's great" I reply. "She's found something that she loves to do. When you're back here for a game then you'll get to see Anna in action. The press can be relentless and she handles them masterfully."

I smile at Anna and see, for the first time, a genuine smile touch her lips. There's my girl.

"I know what you speak of in regard to the press" Mrs. Stanton agrees with me. "The liberal media, no matter what the Governor does, seem to aim at some invisible target on his back. They keep trying to find things that simply don't exist. We could do so much more important things with the time and resources that we spend on the media."

It must be a gift. How does this woman manage to completely ignore the good things that I've said about Anna and focus on the insignificant point about the media? What could Anna have possibly done for her mother to be so unbelievably indifferent to her? I glance at Anna and she must know exactly what I'm thinking and what I want to do; give her mother a good piece of my mind. Anna shakes her head slightly as her mother goes on and on about the liberal media. I metaphorically bite my tongue to respect Anna's wishes but it is very hard to stay silent.

As we finish up our dinners, the Governor comes back into the room.

"My apologies. That took much longer than anticipated" he says as he sits.

"Your dinner is cold dear. Let me get something new for you" Mrs. Stanton says.

"It's ok" he replies. "I'm not really very hungry since we had such a large lunch. I'm not going to get my run in today anyway so I shouldn't eat too much." The Governor turns to me. "Crosby, why don't we go into the other room and have a brandy?"

Is he serious? This is like the 'men folk' are retiring to the study while the 'women folk' do, well, whatever they do. It's so old fashioned. It's more than that; this is like Gone with the Wind or something.

"Of course" I tell him and stand. "Excuse me" I say to Anna and Mrs. Stanton remembering my formal manners.

I follow the Governor down the hall and turn into, holy shit, there is actually a wood paneled office or study in the hotel suite. This is beyond weird. This is surreal. Seriously surreal.

"Would you like a cigar Crosby?" he asks me.

"Yes, sir" I reply.

I allow myself a few of these a year and I bet that the Governor is going to have really great cigars.

Once our cigars are lit and we each have a brandy in hand, the Governor gestures to me to sit in one of the high back chairs. He sits in the one opposite me. I stay silent and wait for the Governor to speak. He must have something he wants to discuss.

"Tell me Crosby" he begins and takes a sip from his glass. "What are you doing with my daughter?"

I knew this was coming but I didn't think that he would be this direct. I thought he would be more like a politician and skirt the issue a bit. I was prepared for that but, this question, I have no idea what to say.

"What do you mean sir?" I ask and pray he doesn't go off on me for this question.

"Is this just a fling to you Crosby?

Wow. The Governor can be blunt and direct.

"No sir. Anna doesn't deserve that" I tell him equally direct.

"On that we can agree Crosby" he tells me and takes a puff of his cigar.

I follow suit and enjoy. I was right that the Governor likes good cigars. I remain silent and wait for the Governor to speak again because this is his game so to speak. I'm just a visiting player trying to keep up with the conversation and walk the precarious line between honesty and maintaining confidences.

"If that's the case then tell me what you are doing with my daughter?"

That's a more difficult question to answer and I don't think that Anna would appreciate me being completely forthright with her father. I opt for the truth although not completely forthright.

"We're dating sir" I begin. "I care a lot about your daughter and we are getting to know each other."

"I trust my girls to know their own mind and to know right from wrong" the Governor says. Where the fuck is he going with this? "It's my job to make sure that anyone they associate with treat them as they deserve to be treated. Do you understand me Crosby?"

This feels like a bad movie where the girl's father threatens the boyfriend if he doesn't treat his daughter right. One look at the Governor tells me that he's completely serious and I need to take his question just as seriously.

"I understand you sir" I tell him and maintain eye contact.

The Governor stares at me as if he can see right inside of me and find the truth. Fortunately I've stared down tougher guys in the faceoff dot; although, the Governor is a very close second.

Finally he says "ok then. So, tell me how the team doing this year. You won't hear me admit it anywhere else but the Pens have a distinct advantage over the Flyers this year."

I grab onto the new and more comfortable topic and we talk hockey while we finish our cigars and brandy.

"Would you like more?" the Governor points to my empty glass.

I look at my watch and its 8pm. I should probably rescue Anna from her mother and I really want to talk to her to make sure she's ok.

"No thank you sir. We have a game tomorrow so I should really get going" I tell him.

We both stand and I follow him out of the room then to the living room where Anna is sitting with her mother. She smiles but I can see that she is clearly distressed. It is definitely time to leave.

"Are you gentlemen finished?" Mrs. Stanton asks when she notices us.

"The boy has a game tomorrow" the Governor says. "I guess that means that you need to move along too Annabelle."

"Yes, game days can be very long" Anna says.

We all walk to the door and Anna embraces both of her parents. I shake Mrs. Stanton's hand and then the Governor's.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner" I say to them both. "I enjoyed seeing you both."

"It was lovely to have you here Sidney" Mrs. Stanton says.

"Good luck tomorrow Sid" the Governor tells me.

It's interesting that I've been 'Crosby' the whole time but, since our chat in the office, I'm now Sid to the Governor.

Anna and I leave and they shut the door behind us. As we walk down the hall, I glance at Anna and she shakes her head slightly. I guess she wants to wait to talk. I watch two men in suits leave one room, nod to Anna and then go into a different room. I guess the Governor has staff here so Anna doesn't want anyone to over hear us speaking.

When we're in the elevator, alone, and the doors close, I immediately turn to Anna and pull her into my arms.

"Are you ok?" I ask and kiss her hair.

"I am now" she says and burrows further into my neck and chest.

"I think it went ok" I try to reassure her.

Anna pulls back and looks up at me.

"You were incredible" she tells me.

"I hope I did ok" I reply.

"More than ok" she says and pulls back as the elevator reaches the lobby.

I take her valet ticket from her as we walk to the front door and hand both hers and mind to the valet.

"Your place is closer" I tell her.

We haven't talked about what we're doing after dinner but I assumed we'd spend the night together. I brought a gym bag in case we go to her apartment so that I don't have to stay in this suit.

"I think I just want to go home and go to sleep" Anna tells me but continues to look off into the street.

"I'm tired too" I tell her because it's true. "So, you're place?"

Her eyes fly to mine and I can see that she's confused. I lean in so that no one passing by can me.

"We don't have to have sex but I'm not leaving you alone tonight. You're clearly upset" I tell her.

"Ok" she replies and sighs. "I'll meet you at my place."

Her car comes up first so I tip the valet and hold the door open for Anna.

"I'll be right behind you" I tell her and kiss her cheek.

She smiles as I close the door and drives off. The valet asks if he can take a picture with me and one soon turns into five more with others but I'm finally able to get into my car and drive off. As I'm parking at her apartment, I receive a text telling me that the door is unlocked.

When I enter I call out "Anna?"

"Just getting changed" I hear from the bedroom.

I follow her voice wanting to get out of this suit. I may have to wear them a lot but that doesn't mean that I like it.

"I'm going to get changed too" I tell her as I walk into the bedroom.

Anna is sitting on the bed blowing her nose with a tissue. It's clear that she's been crying and she looks miserable. Was she this upset when we left her parents? I drop my bag by the door, walk directly to her, drop to my knees and look up.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask her.

She wipes a tear away but doesn't answer me. More tears slip down her cheeks so I reach up and wipe them away myself this time.

"It's not going to work" she whispers very softly.

"What isn't?" I ask.

"Us, we're not going to work."

"Why not? Dinner went great. The conversation I had with your dad couldn't have gone better. Parents love me" I try to joke.

"It's not going to work" is all she repeats.

"You need to tell me more Anna. Why isn't this going to work?"

Her wet eyes find mine and she cups my cheek.

"I love you Sidney."

I feel a chill go down my back because it feels like she's saying goodbye.

"I love you" I tell her.

She looks so sad. What the hell is going on now?

 _ **Author's Note: I'm sorry that this one took so long. I had the chapter almost finished, fourteen pages, and the file got corrupted and I lost everything. It took me a while to rewrite and I wanted the 'parent's visit' to be in one chapter so it's a longer one. I'd love to know your thoughts about it. Thanks for reading.**_


	29. Chapter 29

Anna

My mother was particularly harsh tonight. Well, harsh in her own way; evil with a dollop of charm every time. She drops a bomb on me about marrying their friend's son and then she's nice as pie to Sid the very next minute. Of course the grilling was particularly horrible. Sid had to go back and forth between my mother and father answering questions. I thought I was going to explode when my father suggested that he and Sid talk alone. I was never so glad to see them both smiling when they came back into the living area.

Of course I wasn't smiling when my mother told me to sit down and started telling me about the lawyer. I was baffled that she would talk about another man with my boyfriend in the next room. It's a new low even for her. It took me a few minutes to stop being stunned silent. When I did, she simply ran over me like she always does and wouldn't let me speak. I had to listen while she told me about how a spring wedding would be wonderful but if I want to have a White House wedding then she would allow it.

I felt so defeated and emotionally void when we left and I prayed that Sid wouldn't want to come over to my place. He has a game tomorrow after all; but, he insisted on staying over at my place so here I am. Sid is kneeling in front of me, holding my hands, and looking very worried. I know that I need to break up with him. I need to save him from the world of pain that's coming if he wants to be with me. I have the words formed in my head and they just need to come out of my mouth.

"Sidney" I begin. He looks up at me with his dark green eyes. "Sid, I love you."

"I love you" he tells me.

That's when I remember what Sid said when we argued last: I didn't fight for him, I didn't fight for us, when you love someone you fight for them. This is what he's talking about, this time and this decision, to trust and love. I need to trust and love him.

"Sid" I begin. "Sidney, you once said that people who love each other fight for their relationship, fight for each other, because they love and trust each other. What did you mean?"

He looks confused but answers me.

"It's really that simple Anna. My parents, no matter what was going on, could always count on each other because they trusted each other. Without any doubt, they knew that the other would be there for them no matter what happened. There were a lot of money issues when I was young. Hockey equipment, trainers, coaches and teams came with a lot of fees, and we never had a lot of money, so it was difficult for them. I can remember arguments, although I never knew exactly what they were about, but they didn't last. It never changed the love and trust between them."

Can it really be as simple as that? If you love and trust each other than you can do anything, together? I have no idea the answer to those questions but I do know that it's time I trusted Sid with secrets.

"Sid, my mother has decided that I should marry the son of a family friend. She's agreed that I can stay until the end of my internship, stay with you until the end of my internship, and then I'll move back home. She told me this about ten minutes before you walked in the door and then, when you were talking to my father, she talked about when we might have the wedding. It could even be my decision to wait if I want a White House wedding."

I watch Sid's eyes widen the entire time I'm speaking until he's sitting back and shaking his head. I slide down from the bed until I'm sitting crossed leg on the floor in front of him. I don't know what to do or say next. This is unchartered territory for me, for us, this honesty.

"Sid, please say something" I ask. "Did I do the right thing telling you? I thought about what you said and people who love each other should be honest with each other, right?"

"What?" he says with confusion in his voice. "Oh, right. Yes, of course you should tell me everything. It was totally the right thing to tell me about what your mom said."

I can feel myself relax slightly. At least I did the right thing by telling him what happened. I have no idea what comes next but I did the right thing this time.

"I don't know what to say" he tells me. "Did she really say all of that with me only a room away?"

"Yes. That wouldn't stop her Sid" I reply. "She doesn't see our relationship as anything more than a temporary thing like my job. It doesn't even enter her mind that this matters."

"I don't understand how she can treat you that way. It feels like you're a commodity that she can treat how she wants and do with whatever she wants. I don't understand how a mother can behave that way. You're her daughter."

"It's politics Sid."

"That may be but it doesn't make it right Anna." He takes my hand in his and tugs until I'm on his lap and he holds me close. "This isn't fair to you Anna. It just isn't."

"Sid, this is the way it's been my entire life. Politics and family have always been interwoven my entire life. Nothing is done to one without considering the other, ever, and it is only going to get worse when my father announces that he's running for President."

"It's not fair" he says and kisses my temple.

"Fair isn't a goal that I can ever hope for" I reply. "Survival has been the best I could ever do."

"Until now."

I look up at him, his eyes just inches from mine, and seek understanding in them. What does he mean?

"Anna, I love you. I think we can shoot for our life being more than 'fair,' don't you?"

Our life? He's talking about a life together? This is overwhelming and after everything that's happened today I just can't handle anything else right now. Even if it's good news.

"Sid, I wanted to be honest with you about what happened today. I think I finally understand what you mean about trusting each other, and fighting for what we have, and we're going to have to figure out what to do about my parents and this arranged marriage." I pause and kiss his lips softly. "Right now though, I'm emotionally exhausted. I would like to have a shower and then, um, would you make love to me, please?"

"You never have to ask" he replies.

Sid stands with me in his arms. Seriously, how does he do that? The benefits of a pro-athlete boyfriend.

He walks us to the bathroom and sits me on the counter. I stay there and watch as he turns on the shower and adjust the temperature until he's satisfied with it. He turns back to me and takes off his clothes. I'm mesmerized by the slow, deliberate movements as each piece of clothing falls to the floor.

Naked, Sid says "your turn."

Before I can move, he sinks his hands into my hair and loosens all of the pins. I shake my head so the pins and my hair fall around me.

"I love your hair" Sid says and runs his fingers through it.

One of his hands massages my scalp and I mew, literally mew, with the pleasure. Instinctively, I grasp his biceps and feel another ripple go through me when my fingers slide over his smooth skin and hard muscles. God, this man feels like he's been chiselled by Michelangelo. It's inhuman to be this hard and hot.

Sid moves his fingers to the front of my blouse next and begins with the top button. Each one opens under this clever fingers and I shiver each time those warm fingers brush against my skin. I can feel his fingers skim across my nipples even through my blouse and bra. Sid pulls the blouse off of my shoulders when it is completely open then he pulls it from my skirt and tosses it on the floor.

"I'm glad that I didn't know this was underneath your blouse" he whispers and his fingers trace the edge of my lacy bra. "I would never have been able to concentrate on anything but getting you naked."

He grins at me like a boy at Christmas getting ready to unwrap his present. I know that I'm answering his grin with one of my own. I've seen what Sid can do with those nimble fingers. With two of those fingers, he lifts the bra straps off of my shoulders and lets them fall to my elbows. The lace catches on my nipples and stop there. Sid leans down and begins kissing the swells of my breasts, first one and then the other. The shiver that skips across my skin is as predictable as it is pleasurable.

He nudges the lace down with his nose and his lips have free access to take one nipple into his mouth. My fingers sink into his hair as he works first one and then the other between his lips and teeth. God he's good at this. He knows my body so well that even small things can bring great pleasure. I can feel that pleasure build and pool deep inside of me and my hips shift in response.

"You like that don't you baby" he whispers against my skin and kisses his way up my chest, neck and then captures my lips.

I pull him close and hold him tight to me. His hard body and warm skin feel so good under my hands and against my body. My bra is in the way so I reach around my back, unclasp it and throw it to the floor after his clothes.

I'm surprised when Sid pulls away from me but just far enough so that he can reach under my skirt. With both hands, he slides my skirt up my thighs until the top of my stockings are exposed. He slips fingers into the elastic holding up each one and slowly, so very slowly, rolls them down. The fingers trailing over my bare skin are barely touching me but I feel them throughout my whole body. It seems everything he does has me reacting to him in a deep and meaningful way.

Sid kneels as he pulls the stockings completely off and then pulls me so that I'm standing in front of him. I place my hands on his shoulders, wow his muscles are hard everywhere, and he slips my skirt down so that it pools at my feet. Usually when I stand naked, or nearly naked, in front of him I'm embarrassed or try to cover myself in some way. I don't know why but, standing here in just my panties and his eyes looking at every inch of my bare skin, I don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious. I feel loved, cherished even, and that leaves no room for anything else.

I watch Sid leave soft, wet kisses across my stomach and feel none of the usual regret that it's not flatter. His hands slide around and cup my ass and I feel no lament that it's not smaller or firmer. Instead I revel in the feeling of his skin slide over mine, massage, linger and pull me closer to him.

I gasp when he takes the band of my panties in his teeth and pulls down. His fingers do the same behind me until they slip down my legs and onto the floor. Sid nuzzles the junction between my legs with his nose and my nails sink into his shoulders. He groans then his tongue slips out and between my folds. I hold onto his shoulders tight while he teases me over and over with that clever tongue. His hands pull my legs wider so that he has better access and then he really begins to use his tongue on and over me. It's when it slides inside that I cry out.

"Easy babe" he whispers and I almost cum when I feel his hot, moist breath on me.

I close my eyes and give in to the sensations. It is the most extraordinary feeling and one I've only ever experienced with Sidney. The love I feel has only ever come from Sidney too. This wonderful man loves me.

I moan again as he kisses up my stomach, over first one breast and then the other, up my neck until his lips find mine. Everywhere his skin touches mine heats as our lips and tongues explore each other. We are both breathing heavily when Sid pulls away and leans his forehead against mine.

"Wow" he says.

"Yeah" is all I can respond.

My eyes catch his and we both chuckle.

"Why don't we clean up so that we can get dirty again" Sid says.

"Sounds good" I reply and the cool air hitting my skin causes me to shiver.

"Let's get you warmed up too" Sid takes my hand, leads us to shower and helps me inside.

I go directly under the spray and appreciate the hot water as it flows over my cool skin. I feel even better when Sid follows me in and wraps his arms around me. We both are wet now under the hot water. Sid nuzzles my neck and I lean back against his hard, wet body enjoying myself but I can't prevent the yawn that overtakes me.

"We need to get you to bed too" he says and kisses my ear.

"I'm sorry" I tell him and turn so that my arms are wrapped around his shoulders. "It's just been a long day."

"I know" he replies and steps back.

I watch as he pours some shampoo into his hands and then washes my hair. I've never had anyone outside of a salon wash my hair and I'm surprised how sensual it feels.

"Lean your head back" he tells me and I do.

Sid washes the soap out and adds conditioner. Then he lathers his hands with body wash and starts on my body: shoulders, arms, breasts – where he lingers – then waist, each leg and, oh God, between my legs.

He stands up again and takes the shower massager off of the holder. Starting with my hair, Sid slowly rinses me off until I'm finished.

"Let me finish up in here while you dry off" he tells me.

I'm surprised but agree because drying my hair will take some time so I leave him in the shower. Drying off only takes a few minutes and then I towel dry my hair. The shower stops so I hand Sid a towel as he opens the curtain. I can't be bothered to dry my hair so I put it into a bun on top of my head. We each take turns brushing our teeth and then Sid leads me to the bedroom.

Once in bed, I crawl over to Sid's side and meet him there. He pulls me into his arms and I slide over his body until I'm straddling him.

"You're tired" his whispers against my lips.

"Not that tired" I reply and taste his neck with my lips and tongue.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

I slide back so that I'm straddling his hips and can feel him at my entrance, hard, ready for me.

"Does that answer your question?" I ask.

"God, you're so wet Anna."

He's right. I get so wet, and so quickly wet, for him, only ever for him.

To answer, I reach for the condom on the side table, put it on him and guide him inside of me. What we did before and during the shower has me so close already. Oh, he feels good as I simply sit here and enjoy the sensations.

"Fuck" Sid says and his hands grasp my hips.

Unable to stay still any longer, I slowly rock my hips, setting an easy cadence that Sid matches. I look down at Sid and stare into his eyes. They are so dark I can't distinguish between his iris and pupil but I know that look. This is what it looks like to be desired, loved, and cherished. I've only ever seen that look from Sid. No other man, although there haven't been many, have ever looked at me like that while we had sex. Maybe that's because I've only ever had sex until I met Sidney and learned what it was like to make love.

Sid thrusts up, hard, and I have to balance myself by leaning back and holding his thighs. This allows me to arch and take him in even deeper. We both increase the pace and I feel that familiar pleasure tightening deep inside of me. It only takes a few more thrusts and I'm lost, only vaguely conscious that Sid sits up and holds me close while we ride our pleasure together.

When I can finally open my eyes, I pull back slightly so that I can look at Sid's face. His hair is wet and curls around his face in that way I love. His face is damp and flush with a very large smile. I kiss him softly wanting to extend the intense love and connection I feel.

"I love you so much Anna. I hope you realize just how much" he whispers against my lips.

"I do" I tell him. "It's taken me a while but I finally do."

"Good" he says. "I really don't want to move but we both need some sleep."

"Yeah we do" I agree.

Neither of us move. I can feel him, soft but still inside of me we are still so close. My body betrays me and I yawn,

"Ok, that's a sign. Let's get under the covers" Sid tells me and pulls me with him to the bed.

I snuggle under the covers and into my pillow while Sid slides in behind me after removing the condom. I've never liked to sleep with anyone over night until Sid. It seems like Sid has changed my life in immeasurable and numerous ways and all for the better.

"Goodnight Annabelle" Sid says and kisses my cheek.

"Don't call me that please" I beg him. "My mother wanted a southern name and my father disagreed so they compromised on Annabelle. I hate it."

"Ok" he kisses my neck this time. "No matter what you were born with, you'll always be my Anna.

His Anna. I slip off to sleep with a smile.

Sidney

I'm still reeling from the Stanton's visit and it's been a week since they were here. I feel like it's taking a while to process everything that happened before, during and after. A couple of guys heard that the Governor was in town and asked how 'meet the parents' went. I was vague with most. I'm having lunch right now with Duper and I know it's because he wants to talk about it. We rarely go out just the two of us. Usually one or more of the kids are with us or he has to get home to the family.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Duper asks.

I don't have to ask what he's talking about.

"It was surreal Dupe" I tell him. I know that I can't tell him everything, to respect Anna's wishes for privacy, but I need to talk about some of it and I know I can trust Duper. "It was like they were strangers. There was no warmth or joking around. I mean, I know that they aren't 'joking around' kind of people, but if you walked into that room then you wouldn't know that they are a family."

"A grilling by dad?" Duper asks.

"By mom and dad actually. None of it offended me. Anna prepared me for what it would be like and I was prepared for even worse than it was; but, I still can't reconcile the warm and loving girl that I know with the parents where she came from. Her mother is a piece of work. She's all about the exterior and what people see and might think. I understand that it's an important part of being in politics but with your daughter? It's just crazy."

I desperately want to tell him about Anna's mother trying to marry her off but I don't know if that's crossing the line. Anna might not appreciate me telling someone that much detail about her private life. That said, I could really use a friend and I can trust Duper with anything.

"Tell me kid" he says correctly reading the situation.

"Her mother is arranging a marriage for Anna" I tell him.

"You just meet them and they want you to marry her?"

"No" I answer. "Not to me. She wants to marry Anna off to some lawyer in New York whose family they love or whatever."

"Even though Anna is seeing you?"

"While I was there for dinner" I tell him and watch his mouth fall open. "She told Anna before I got there and then continued talking about it while I was in another room talking with her father."

"So what do they think you are?"

"Like this job, her mother says that I'm only temporary and our relationship will end when the season ends."

"You're serious?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'm completely serious. It was as if I didn't exist."

Duper shakes his head and takes a drink of water. I actually feel better seeing Duper's reaction. I knew that it was crazy but it helps to have a friend agree with you just how truly crazy.

"That's really fucked up Sid."

'Yeah, that's what Anna's had to deal with her whole life. If it didn't reflect so well on them, I don't think she would have been allowed to have this internship. Holy shit, how crazy is it that a twenty three year old woman could be stopped from taking a job by her parents?"

"It's really crazy. I know her world is far from normal, shit ours is hardly normal, but this is just nuts."

"The good news is that Anna talked to me about it" I tell him. Duper is aware that we've had trouble communicating. "I don't think she was going to, initially, but we've realty turned a corner with this visit. I feel like we're a team now, you know?"

"That's the way the best relationships are kid" he tells me. I always find it funny that Duper calls me 'kid' when he's passing out advice. "There's no way that I could have played hockey without Carole-Lyn. The AHL is brutal and then getting called up and sent back over and over then getting traded and doing it all over again. It was only possible because of Carole-Lyn."

I watch his face closely as he speaks. It would be clear to a blind man how much Duper loves and admires his wife. I've always envied their relationship and is something that I've sought for myself. He's right about it being a partnership and I think that Anna could be a true partner for me. Wow, I need to pull the reigns back a bit. We haven't been together that long and definitely not in a stable and open relationship. There is lots of time to think about the rest of our lives. Of course we'll have to talk about it before the end of the season, or at least about what comes next. Her parents have the rest of her life planned out and I need to help her have her own life. Hopefully that life is with me.

"Sid, you still with me?"

I draw my attention back to Duper. I guess I've been thinking and ignore him for a little while.

"Sorry Dupe."

"No problem" he replies.

We pay our bill and leave the restaurant to walk back to Consol. The air is cool and you can feel that winter is almost upon us. I love it.

"What are you going to do about the parents?" he asks me.

"I'm going to let Anna take the lead and make sure that I'm there for her. We'll have to talk about the summer and next season before too long but it can wait a few months. It gives us some time to simply be together now that everyone knows and it's out in the open."

"That's a good thing" he replies. "You can have some semblance of normalcy. At least as much as possible."

We talk more on our walk back although mostly about Kody, Duper's son. I love that kid. He's so much fun to be around and has so much energy.

Duper and I part at our cars and I text Anna before I leave.

'When will you be done today?' I ask.

It takes only a few moments for her reply.

'6pm'

'Dinner?'

'In bed?'

I love when she flirts. It's like she has a direct line to my dick.

'Whose?' I text back.

'Mine?'

'Sounds good, I'll bring dinner' I text.

'Ok, I'll see you at my place, 6:30pm'

'Great'

'x'

I smile at the 'kiss' she sent me last. I love when she does that and it always puts a smile on my face.

As I drive home, my mother calls me.

"Hi mom" I answer the phone.

"Hi sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm good. Short practice this morning so I just had lunch with Duper. How are you guys?"

"We're good. We changed the flight so we arrive in Pittsburgh on Tuesday instead of Wednesday."

Right, they're coming for a visit. I can't remember if I told Anna that the date changed. The four of us are going to have dinner together when my parents are here. I want them to get to know Anna. So far, they've only been on the conference call together when the shit hit the fan with Meagan. This is only the second time I've introduced a girl to my parents. A few times they've met because of a fluke but I've only been serious enough to introduce a girl to them one other time.

"I'm looking forward to it mom."

"So are we dear. It will be lovely to spend some time with Anna."

"We'll have dinner together when you get here for sure."

"That's not a lot of time for me to cook dinner" mom says.

Of course she assumes that she's cooking dinner.

"No mom, you aren't cooking" I tell her.

"You aren't!"

I laugh at her surprised statement.

"No" I reply. "I don't want everyone to end up in the hospital. Anna wants to cook dinner."

"She doesn't have to do that Sidney."

"I know, and she knows too, but she wants to do it. Ok?"

"Ok. That's very sweet of her."

We talk more about the details of their arrangements and then say goodbye.

When I get home, I call Anna's favourite Italian restaurant and order dinner for us. I'll pick it up on the way to her house. On days like this, I regret that I don't cook or actually that I don't cook well. I make basic things or follow simple recipes but it's usually easier to order and pick up. No fear of food poisoning this way.

I settle into my office and go through a contract that my dad sent me. He's highlighted a couple of clauses that he wants to change. One of them involves work during the playoffs which he knows that I'll never do. I may do appearances, commercials and interviews sparingly during the regular season but never during the playoffs unless it's directly required by the Pens. Once again I'm thankful to have my dad involved in my career. I can always depend on him to look out for my best interest and protect my ability to focus on and play the game. After replying to dad, I go through a few other emails and requests for interviews from both the Pens and my agent.

Anna

I'm stressed. It's the first time I've done the 'meet the parents' thing and I'm very stressed about it. They'll be here in a few minutes and my anxiety keeps growing. To keep busy, I go through my mental checklist: table is set, food will be ready when we are, wine is open, and I'm dressed. I went through half of my closet before settling on this outfit. Everything I originally had on felt too formal for this dinner. Sid said that it's going to be a casual family dinner; like that would clear up everything for me. Casual dinners with my parents meant no photographers and we still 'dressed' for dinner. I take a quick look in the mirror and rethink the soft purple sweater with dark jeans. Maybe jeans are too casual. The doorbell rings and I have no more time to question anything.

I go to the door, take a deep breath and smile. When I open the door, I see the three Crosbys. Mrs. Crosby is shorter than I thought she would be and Mr. Crosby is the same height as Sid. All three of them are smiling the same smile at me so I smile back and move so they can enter.

"Hi, please come in" I say.

Instead of moving by me, Mrs. Crosby gives me a quick hug, followed by Mr. Crosby and then Sid who gives me a quick kiss too.

"You look gorgeous" he whispers and then continues in.

"Can I take your coats, Mrs. Crosby? Mr. Crosby?" I ask.

"Oh, please call us Trina and Troy dear" Trina tells me as she hands me her coat.

I instantly feel the warmth radiating from Trina. Troy is more reserved, you can see it right away, but no less welcoming. Sid is a mix of both of his parents; warm and friendly like Trina while being a little more reserved about it if he doesn't know you. Standing together, they look like a unit. I envy them.

"Of course Trina" I answer her. "It's wonderful to meet you, please come in."

We walk into the living room and Trina looks around as she takes a seat beside her husband on the sofa.

"You home is lovely Anna. The colours are terrific" she tells me with a smile.

"Thank you. May I get you something to drink? I have a wonderful red open" I ask.

I go into the kitchen and Sid follows me. While I pull down glasses and fill them with wine, Sid slides behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck.

"You smell even better that the delicious meal I noticed when we came in."

"Sid, seriously, your parents are here."

"Oh, I have a feeling that they know we kiss" he chuckles. "They know we have sex too."

"Oh my God. You told them?!"

"Anna, I'm a grown man dating a beautiful woman. I think my parents know that I'm sleeping with you babe."

"Oh" is all I can answer. I guess he's right. "Can you take these two glasses?"

"Sure."

Sid takes two glasses of wine and I take the other two.

"Thank you dear" Trina says when I hand her the glass and then pats the seat next to her. "Sit here beside me. Tell me all about your job. How are you enjoying it?"

It takes me a moment to catch up. Trina is asking me about my job. I had to beg permission from my own mother to take the internship but Trina is genuinely interested in how it's going and what I think about it.

I tell her and Troy about my internship and the work with Geno. They laugh at some of my anecdotes since they know him so well.

"Wait until you meet his father" Troy says. "He is just like Geno only more."

I can actually see Troy warming up as we chat. He smiles more and becomes more engaged the longer we chat. The conversation inevitably turns to how the team is doing this year under the new coaching staff. A look at my watch tells me how much time has passed and dinner must be ready so I excuse myself.

As I check on the roast, I notice that Trina has followed me into the kitchen.

"What can I do to help?" she asks.

I instinctively decline. I was taught that guests never help with the chores.

"Really, let me help Anna. I'm not used to begin waited on" Trina says.

"Why don't I fill up our glasses" Troy says as he walks through the kitchen, picks up the wine and takes it into the dining room.

This must be what it's like in Sid's family. Everyone helps with dinner.

"Thank you Troy" I say. "Trina, would you take the salad out of the fridge please? The dressing is in the bowl beside it."

Just like that, the Crosby family is helping me make dinner. Trina even tells Sid and Troy what to do too. With the help, we are quickly sitting down to eat.

"This is delicious" Troy tells me.

I'm glad I went with my instinct and made a beef roast with potatoes, green beans and salad.

Trina makes a comment about Sid as a boy which gives me an opening to ask her.

"What was he like as a boy?" I ask.

"He loved hockey, of course" she says and chuckles. "He actually loved all kinds of sports and played soccer and baseball too. It was always hard to get him to sit still. Sidney only really stopped when he slept."

"It must have been hard when he moved away for school" I say.

"It was" Trina says and looks at Sid. "He was only fifteen when he went to Shattucks and then he went to Quebec to play the next year. We helped pick out the billet family of course but it's hard to trust your child to someone else even if he's as smart and sound minded as Sidney."

I watch Sid give his mother an indulging smile and I know that this can't be the first time that he's heard this from her.

Trina asks about my family and I can feel body stiffen slightly so I force myself to relax. I tell her the abridged and public story of my family and get the distinct feeling that Trina wants to ask me more but doesn't. I'm grateful.

When I stand to clear the table, Trina, Troy and Sid do as well. I guess we have a family clean up too. It doesn't take much time with everyone pitching in and we're soon back at the table with coffee and dessert. I got a few pastries to go with the fruit salad. Sid won't eat sweets but I thought that his parents might. I also have whip cream and chocolate sauce should anyone want some. Then I make the mistake of looking at Sid who glances at the sauce and cream and then back at me with an arched eyebrow. I know that I'm turning red as I think back to the last time I had chocolate sauce and whipped cream with Sid. It had had nothing to do with dinner.

We continue to talk until I lose track of time. It's only when Troy yawns and I look at my watch do I realize how much time has gone by.

"We should probably get going" Sid says. "I think dad may fall asleep right here at the table if we don't."

I walk them to the door and both Trina and Troy give me a warm hug.

"It was lovely to meet you dear" Trina tells me. "We must see each other again while we're visiting."

"I'd like that" I reply and find myself truly meaning it.

I want to see her again. I want to spend more time with Sid and his parents.

Trina and Troy tell Sid that they'll get the car and meet him at the front door. It's sweet of them to let us say goodnight in private. As soon as the door is closed, Sid pulls me into his arms.

"I love your parents" I tell him.

"Good because they love you too."

I lay my cheek against his chest and listen to his strong heartbeat finding it soothing and comforting. Of course the hard muscles do the exact opposite to me.

"Ok, I really need to get out of here now or else I'm going to make my parents wait a very long time" he says.

I pull away and Sid captures my lips. The kiss quickly heats and I'm lost in the smell, feel and taste of Sid again. Oh what this man does to me.

He pulls away "really, I need to go. I'm sorry that I can't stay but you know."

"Of course Sid. There is no way you're staying here while your parents are in town. Do you want me to ever be able to face them again?"

"You are so damn cute" he tells me and kisses my nose. "Ok, I have to go. Dinner was wonderful. Thank you so much babe."

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you too."

After one last kiss, he slips out the door.

I flop down on the sofa and reflect on the last couple of hours. I can't believe I was so nervous before the Crosbys came over tonight because it became very relaxed, very quickly. It's kind of hard not to love Trina Crosby. She is incredibly warm and talking with her is like being enveloped in a hug the whole time. There was no awkwardness that I would have expected when you 'meet the parents'.

Even though it was a wonderful evening, it was also a long day and I can't help the yawn that escapes me. I really need to get some sleep. Thankfully, there is very little to clean up from the visit since the Crosbys helped clean up. I'm quickly finished and ready for bed.

I snuggle into my pillow and covers and take a look at my schedule for tomorrow. I don't have anything too pressing first thing so I may actually sleep in an hour. I'll still get to work before everyone else but it will be great to get a little more sleep.

My phone buzzes and it's Sid. When I answer it, his beautiful face fills the screen.

"You're in bed" he says.

"I am. What about you?"

He shifts the phone so that I can see his bedroom.

"Yep" he tells me. "My mom talked about you all the way home by the way."

"Good I hope."

"Good?" he rolls his eyes. "She could not stop talking about how wonderful you are."

I know that I'm grinning like an idiot. I've never met the mom of a boyfriend before, at least not like this, and I'm so thrilled that she likes me.

"What?" Sid asks.

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"You're smiling so widely that I can't even see it in the whole screen."

I chuckle.

"I just love that she likes me" I tell him.

"Likes you?" he says and shakes his head. "She loves you babe. She's already talking about Christmas."

I know that my smile falters a little so I try to quickly recover. Not quick enough for Sid.

"What?" he asks.

"I'll need to go home for Christmas Sid. With my father getting ready to announce his candidacy for president, they'll want pictures of a family Christmas with both my sister and I in attendance."

"Photo op Christmas huh?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"I understand. It won't always be like this you know."

"It always has been."

"That was BS."

"I know that its bull shit Sid but it's my family."

"No, I don't mean bull shit" he tells me with a smile. "I mean BS, Before Sid. This is what happened before me."

"You're so clever" I tell him and wink. "Cute too."

"Oh really. How cute?"

"Very cute."

"That's not very descriptive" he pouts.

He's hot when he pouts.

"You need to stop that" I tell him.

"Stop what?"

"The pouting. It's really hot."

He tries to exaggerate the pout but ends up laughing instead. As he laughs, the phone slips so that I'm looking at his naked chest. This is even hotter than his pout.

"Oops, sorry" he tells me and rights the phone.

"No problem" I reply. "In fact, I like looking at your chest."

"Oh, I'm talking to flirty Anna tonight."

"Flirty Anna?"

"Yes, flirty Anna. I'm getting to see her more and more these days."

"Oh" I say and shift in my bed so I'm lying on my side. "You like flirty Anna."

"Oh I love flirty Anna. Actually, I love all of my Annas but flirty is a fun one."

"I wish you were here in bed with me" I tell him and then am instantly surprised by my comment.

Sid's smile disappears and he says "so do I."

I watch as he props himself up against the headboard with some pillows. I can see his bare neck and shoulders now. My fingers tingle at the thought of touching his warm skin and hard muscles. My lips ache to kiss just below his ear and listen to him groan when I do.

"Tell me what you want" he says then notices my confused expression. "If I were there with you, what would you want to do?"

Oh. I feel so embarrassed watching Sid wait for me to speak. He licks his lips.

"I want to kiss you" I whisper.

"Where?"

"Your lips."

"Where else?"

"Your neck, just below your ear."

"And how do I taste?" he asks.

"Good" I answer and turn red.

"I want to kiss every inch of you" he tells me. "I would start with your lips but quickly travel across you jaw to your ear. You love that don't you?"

I shiver, he knows I love that.

"Yes" I whisper.

I shift in bed. I can feel his words deep inside of core.

"Then down your neck" he continues. "But that won't be enough, will it?"

"No."

"Touch yourself Anna."

"What?"

"I want you to touch yourself."

"Now?"

He chuckles and says "yes now."

I'm confused. What does he want me to do? Touch myself how?"

"Slide one hand under your shirt and slide your fingers over one of your nipples. Tease them like I do" he directs me.

Oh. He wants me to touch myself. I've never done this before.

"Come on baby."

Those three words give me confidence so I slip my hand under my tank top and find my nipple.

"Now, between your thumb and finger, I want you to squeeze and twist. Lightly now" he tells me.

I do and watch Sid as he watches me. Between my fingers and the look in Sid's eyes as he watches me, I feel a current of pleasure run through my body.

"Now the other one" he says in a low, deep voice.

His voice excites me, even more than my fingers, and I follow his directions to my other breast. The nipple is already hard but I play with it just as Sid said. I watch him shift and then look down, away from the phone.

"Is it hard?" he asks me.

My nipples are both hard pebbles.

"Yes" comes out more like a whispers.

"So am I" he tells me.

I'm confused for a moment but then I understand. He must be touching himself. I feel a shutter run through me at the thought of Sid excited, watching me, talking to me. Doing that.

"Slide your hand down Anna" he tells me. "Over your stomach and between your legs. Feel how soft your skin is beneath your hand." I do as he directs. "Now inside of your shorts and between your legs."

I purse my lips. Am I really doing this?

"Come on Anna, do it like I do. You know how I love to touch you. With your middle finger, slide between that soft skin. Are you wet?"

I immediately feel dampness.

"Yes" I tell him.

"Now with your middle and index fingers, find your clit and press down" he tells me.

Embarrassed, I close my eyes but do what he says. I slide my fingers over my clit and push down. The instant pleasure is surprising.

"You love when I do that, don't you?" Sid asks me.

'Yes, oh god Sid."

I moan.

"Now around and around babe. Circle with your fingers around, smear some of that wetness all around. Fuck, I wish I could taste you right now."

I moan again and bite down on my lip.

"Hold the phone up babe."

I open my eyes and see that I did drop the phone so I pick it up. Sid's face is flush and I can see his shoulder moving as he strokes himself. Oh god. It's so hot watching him, knowing that he's excited because of me.

"Faster" he tells me and I return back to my task.

My fingers easily slide over my clit, I'm so wet right now, and getting wetter as I watch Sid.

"Faster" he tells me and I do.

I can feel pleasure pool in my stomach and spread. My nipples tingle and my hips begin to push down onto my fingers.

"Faster" Sid tells me. "Faster."

I hear Sid groan and grunt and those sounds send me over the edge. I feel my whole hand get wet and then I can't distinguish from the myriad of feelings in my orgasm.

I don't know how long it is until Sid says "babe? Are you there?"

I open my eyes and see the phone is face down on the bed. I pick it up and see Sid's grinning face.

"I'm here" I tell him.

Suddenly I'm shy with him. I've never done anything like this before never mind with my boyfriend. I just masturbated over Facetime.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah" I tell him.

"Just ok?"

"Well, no" I tell him. "More than just ok."

He chuckles and rubs his hand over his face.

"I'm glad you were willing to play" he tells me. "I couldn't wait another day and I didn't want to do it alone."

I look away from the phone. I want to tell him but I can't look at him while I do.

"This is my first time" I tell him.

"Yeah, I kinda thought so" he responds.

"That bad?" I ask.

"Look at me Anna." I do and he continues. "It was great, better than great, but you've told me about your inexperience so I thought you might not have had phone sex."

"Oh."

"Seriously, you really need to believe me when I tell you how hot you are. I've been hard ever since I left your place. Desperately needed this" he tells me with a wink.

I smile and reply "guess I did too."

"Now you need sleep baby."

"I need that too."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. We can figure out what else we want to do with my parents here. I think mom wants to cook dinner for you."

"Ok, sounds good."

"I love you" he tells me.

"I love you."

We both grin and I say goodbye. I don't even remember turning Facetime off before I fall into a deep sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Sidney

"Do I look ok?" Anna asks me when she opens the door to her apartment.

My parents are downstairs in the car waiting for us. We're going out to dinner together. Anna cooked one night and my mom cooked another night so I suggested that we all go out to dinner so no one has to cook. It's my parent's last night in Pittsburgh. They've seen Anna every day of the week they've been here. A couple of times they came to the rink. Mom and Anna went to lunch while my dad watched practice and ate with the team. It's been a really great week.

It's also been a brutal week. I haven't had sex all six days, four hours and twenty minutes that my parents have been here. 'Blue balls' doesn't begin to describe the frustration that I feel. There's been more phone sex, but nothing can replace the real thing, who is currently standing in front of me. I'm sure that she was trying for conservative, covering her body in a long sleeve dress, but it's hugging her body in a way that shows off all of her curves. I have a vivid picture pass through my mind of how good all of those curves look naked.

I can't control myself so I grab Anna and push her up against the wall covering her body with my own. Her mouth quickly opens to mine and I sweep my tongue inside to taste her unique flavour. Her curves feel so good in my hands and soon I'm grinding up against her. Anna is giving back as good as she gets and her fingers dig into my scalp. I groan into her mouth and she moans back. So. Fucking. Hot.

"Sid" Anna says against my mouth.

I silence her quickly and her lips respond.

"No Sid, stop" she says and chuckles.

It's the laugh that gets through my sex starved haze so I pull back and let Anna's body slide down mine. I didn't even realize that I'd picked her up and that her legs were wrapped around my waist. We're both panting and trying to catch our breath.

"Sorry" I tell her.

I pull away and watch Anna pull her dress down and smooth out her hair. When she's done, she reaches up and smooths out my hair too and then wipes my lips.

"Lipstick" she tells me.

She moves to her purse and repairs her smeared lipstick while I shift myself uncomfortably. I should have thought this through. I'm all heated up and now need to have dinner with my parents. Although the thought of my parents does pour some cold water on my libido; not a lot, but it helps.

"Sorry" I tell her again.

Anna turns around and smiles at me.

"I'm just sorry that we don't have time to finish what we started" she tells me.

She looks so beautiful, standing there, with plump lips from kissing mine.

"You are so beautiful" I tell her, my thoughts coming out of my mouth.

Anna turns pink but doesn't turn away as she once used to when I complimented her.

"Thank you" she says.

I help her with her coat and then we're out the door before anything else can happen.

When we're in the elevator, Anna leans her head against my shoulder and sighs.

"I miss you" she whispers.

I don't need to ask what she means. It's very clear after what just happened in her apartment. I love my parents but they can't leave too soon. I need my girl.

"My mom was sentimental all the way here about missing you when they leave" I tell Anna.

"I'm going to miss her too" Anna tells me as we walk out of the elevator. "Quite a different visit than we had with my parents."

I feel bad for Anna. This isn't the first comment she's made about her feelings about my parents and the shortcomings of her own. She hasn't been complaining, and it's only been a few comments, but I have noticed.

At the car, Anna gets into the back seat with my mother and I get into the driver side. I haven't even turned the ignition before they start talking. I love how close they've become. I wish that Taylor could be here to meet Anna too. Maybe when she gets a break at school or when we play in Minnesota.

"Maybe next time we visit, your parents might be here too" I hear mom say.

"I don't know about that" Anna replies. "My father's schedule tends to be planned out long in advance and is difficult to change."

"Of course dear. We'll see what can be arranged" mom tells her.

We arrive at the restaurant which stops the conversation thankfully. Mom has been really good about not talking about Anna's parents. Only a few times has she mentioned them and then only in passing. I haven't told my parents all of it but I did share what I experienced meeting Anna's folks. Mom and dad were as appalled as I was when I met them.

The rest of the evening goes by without talking about parents or family. Actually, it's spent telling stories about me growing up, soliciting a lot of laughter from everyone but me.

"No!" Anna says. "You're kidding me. Sid, you had blond hair?"

Mom pulls out her phone and shows a picture to Anna which has tears falling from her eyes since she's laughing so hard. I was fifteen for fucks sake. Hazing is a bitch in hockey.

"Oh Sid. Blond is not a good look on you" she tells me. "This couldn't have been your idea even if you were only fifteen."

"It was not my idea" I answer her. "It happened when I joined the Shattucks hockey team. All the new guys had to do it."

She looks back at my mom's phone and starts laughing all over again. It's so infectious that even I join in. She's right that I looked ridiculous.

"You just have this picture on your phone mom?" I ask.

"No" she replies. "I Googled it."

"It's on the internet?" I'm stunned.

"Of course it is" mom tells me. "I think any picture that isn't part of our family albums is now on the internet."

"Why?" I'm still surprised.

"Sid" Anna says and I turn to her. "Everything about your life is on the internet. You're kind of a big deal, you know."

I shake my head and say "I don't know why anyone would want to see a picture of me in high school."

Anna looks at my mom and dad and all three of them laugh.

The conversation continues with more funny stories about me, a few of which I don't even remember. I notice a few times that people are watching us from other tables. A few phones have come out and I'm sure they've taken some pictures. Anna has noticed a few times but she's good at ignoring it. I feel sad that I know it's because she's had to deal with it her whole life.

The evening comes to an end too soon for me because I know that I'm leaving Anna at her apartment to take my parents back to my place. Once there, I walk Anna back up to her apartment but only after lots of hugs and a few tears while my parents and Anna say goodbye. I'm taking mom and dad to the airport first thing in the morning so they won't get to see each other again before they leave.

In the elevator, I notice that Anna's eyes are damp. It looks like my mom wasn't the only one who shed some tears saying goodbye.

When we get to Anna's apartment, I don't follow her inside because I don't want a repeat, or worse, of what happened when I picked her up. There's no way I'm going to have enough self-restraint to leave her if I'm worked up again.

"I have to get back downstairs" I tell Anna and give her a light kiss on the lips. "I'll call you in the morning, ok?"

"Sounds good" she tells me with a smile.

"We're off tomorrow" I tell her. "You?"

"Um, I'll know in the morning. Jen is going to do an email blast but she had to wait on whether a shipment of something came in for the next fan giveaway."

"Ok, I'll call."

I give her one last kiss, lingering a little, and then shut the door. There's too much temptation if I stay any longer. I have to take a few deep breaths as I walk to the elevator to force my body to calm down. One more night is all I have to get through. Just one more night.

Anna

I hear my phone vibrate beside the bed. Damn, I thought I turned it off after I saw Jen's email that we had the day off today. The clock tells me that I've had a few extra hours of sleep. When I look at my phone, all sleep and disorientation is gone. It's Sid.

"Hi" I say softly into the phone.

"Hi yourself" he replies. "Where are you?"

"In bed" I tell him. "Lonely."

I'm surprised by my own audacity but it quickly dissipates when I hear Sid's sharp intake of breath.

"Do you need to work today?" he asks.

"No" I tell him.

"Good" he says. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I want you in bed, naked, and blindfolded."

I can't respond. Did he really just say that?

"Did you hear me?" he asks.

"Yes, I heard you."

"And?"

"I'll be ready."

"Good. Make sure that you unlock the door for me."

"Ok."

I feel a shiver run through me. There is nothing hotter than Sid taking control.

I jump out of bed. There are things to take care of and I don't have much time. First I need a shower. I put my hair up and then jump in taking care of business as fast as I can. Once I'm shaved, clean, and moisturized I see that I only have five minutes left. The sheets were just put on last night so they're clean. I run to the front door and unlock it then go back to my bedroom. Everything looks ready. Only a couple of minutes left.

I pull out the blindfold that Sid brought over to my place a few weeks ago and climb into bed, naked, as he told me. Feeling very exposed, and a little chilly, I pull the sheet and duvet over me and wait for Sid. I am trembling slightly in anticipation of what Sid wants to do to me, with me, on our full day off. I've never felt like a sexual person before. Sure, I had sex with some of my boyfriends, but I never craved it or needed it like I do with Sid. It's as vital as breathing, especially right now.

I hear the door open so I quickly put on the blindfold. I can hear some rustling of Sid probably taking off his coat and shoes and then there's nothing. All of my other senses are heightened since I can't see. Although he doesn't make any sound, I sense that Sid is in the room and standing close to me. My body shivers in anticipation and I'm desperate to ask him to touch me.

"Sid?" I whisper.

"Quiet" he orders me.

Another shiver runs over my skin, I feel the goosebumps break out and my breathing quickens. I suck in a quick breath when Sid pulls the sheet and duvet off of me so that I'm naked to his eyes. There is no sound in the room except both my and Sid's breathing. I can feel his eyes looking over every inch of my body and I squirm and shift under his gaze. It takes a long time before Sid does anything.

"Lie down so that you are flat on the bed on your back" he tells me in a deep and husky voice.

I do as he says so that I'm lying on my side of the bed with my head on the pillow.

"Now hands above your head and under the pillow" is his next direction.

I follow his direction again so that my hands are under my head, under the pillow.

"You are so beautiful Anna" Sid tells me and I feel beautiful because he's said it. "Now open your legs, wide for me."

This embarrasses me but do as he says. I feel exposed but not in a bad way. I can hear Sid's breathing now and it makes me feel powerful. I'm doing this to him. Just being who I am, lying in front of him, is eliciting this response from Sid.

I jump when I feel Sid's fingers touch the top of my foot. He runs his fingers slowly up the top of my foot, ankle, calf, thigh and then slides them to the soft skin of my inner thigh. My hips shift anticipating his touch where I desperately want it, need it, but it doesn't come. Instead he moves his fingers to my stomach, up between my breasts, side of my neck and then strokes my cheek.

"So beautiful" he tells me.

He uses one finger to trace my lips and I open my lips reflexively but he pulls away.

I know that he's moved away from the bed and I hear more rustling like he's getting undressed. After feeling his touch only briefly I'm desperate for more. My entire body yearns for his touch, his skin against mine, simply him.

"What am I going to do with you beautiful girl?" he asks rhetorically. "Too many times over the past week, I've had to imagine your body like this while you touched yourself. Facetime is no substitute for being her. I want to see it, now Anna."

See what? I'm naked and lying in front of him. How much more is there to see?

"Do it now Anna" he tells me. "I want to see how you touch yourself."

Oh. That's what he wants to see. It was embarrassing enough to do it while I was on the phone with him. Doing this in front of him has me, what? My breathing has quickened. I can feel my body periodically shivering at the thought and under his gaze.

"Come on Anna" he says. "I want to see you touch yourself. Start with your breasts."

I move my hands from beneath my head, down, until I can cup each breast. My nipples are tight and I've barely touched them.

"Play with them Anna, like I would, play with them."

I take each nipple between my fingers and thumb and roll them. They elongate and tighten further.

"More" he tells me.

His voice is tight and very deep and I follow his direction. The feelings are overwhelming. My nipples respond to my touch and the pleasure it brings as well as the thought of Sid watching me pleasure myself. I wish that I could see him.

"Now slide your hands down your stomach" he tells me and I do. "Legs further apart" and I do. "Now, with your index finger, slide it between those soft folds of gorgeous skin and inside your hot, slick body."

My breath catches at his words but I follow his instructions and slide one hand between my legs and one finger inside of my body. I'm hot and wet and quiver at my touch, wishing it was Sid.

"Now swirl it around" he tells me. As I do, I push instinctively against my hand. "Now take that finger out and hold it up."

Confused, I move my hand and put it up in the air. I jump when his hand closes around my wrist and he pulls my hand to him. He takes my finger into his mouth, sucks on it and then bites.

"Mmm, delicious" he tells me in a sexy as hell voice. He runs his tongue over and around my finger then bites it again before releasing it. "Now, touch yourself again. Spread all that wetness over your clit."

I feel like I've run a marathon, I'm breathing so hard, and my body is aching everywhere. I don't want to touch myself. I want Sidney.

But I do as he tells me. His breathing is laboured too and it's a turn on to know what this is doing for him, to him. I find my clit with two fingers.

"Now push and move them around and around Anna." I do so and can hear Sid moving but don't know where. "Come on Anna, faster."

I move my fingers around and around, faster, and my hips begin to follow the movements pushing further into my hand. I feel pleasure flow throughout my whole body and settle deep in my stomach.

"Stop" he tells me forcefully.

I pull my hand away and lay both hands on my stomach.

"Put your hands under the pillow again."

I do. Thankfully, I don't have to wait too long. Sid places a hand on each of my ankles and runs them up my legs again. This time, when he gets to my inner thighs, he pushes them further and I feel the bed shift as he kneels between them. Finally, he's touching me and I'm desperate for more.

I'm surprised when I feel his hot breath on the junction between my legs.

"You are so very wet" he tells me. "Keep your hands where they are."

Sid's hands slide further up until his fingers pull aside my warm, wet flesh.

"Ahhhh" I cry out when his tongue flicks over my clit.

"Quiet' he tells me and I shiver at the feeling of his breath against the most sensitive part of me.

His tongue goes back to work. He flicks it a few times, presses down flat and then gives me a full lick. Over and over he works me and I can feel the quickening deep inside. It builds and builds until Sid pulls away.

"Oh" I cry out but I don't have to wait long.

Sid shifts, I hear a ripping sound and then he's back to me. This time, he kneels between my thighs and holds them wide open. I have no time to complain about how my muscles hurt because he pushes inside of me. It's hard, fast and deep while he calls out his pleasure. Then he stays still, deep inside of me, not moving an inch.

He finally pulls out, so very slowly, and then fast and hard pushes back inside. I cry out again.

"Ok?" he asks.

"Yes, more, please, more" I beg him.

He thrusts again but doesn't stop this time. Sid continues the pace and feel like I'm coming apart from all of the pleasure that is washing over me again and again. I feel my orgasm build again. I'm so close when Sid stops thrusting, leans down and pulls me up so that I'm straddling his lap. He pulls the mask off of me. It takes me a few moments to adjust to the light but when I do I see Sid's damp, beautiful face.

"I love you" he says and I feel my body liquefy.

"I love you" I tell him and kiss him.

As we kiss, Sid begins thrusting again and I meet his hips, grinding against him. I feel the pressure building again. I'm acutely aware of everywhere Sid's body is touching mine and it feels so good. The sweat on our bodies mixes as we slide over and against each other until I feel Sid penetrate deep inside me and it sets off my orgasm.

I think I black out at some point because when I open my eyes, Sid and I are lying on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms, face to face.

"Hi" he says with a smile.

"Hi" I tell him and give him a kiss.

"Was that ok?" he asks.

"Um, ok? There was nothing just ok about that" I tell him. His brow furrows so I quickly continue "that was mind blowing. Beyond anything. Indescribable."

He smiles at me and says "ok."

I pinch his side and say "just ok?"

"No, I agree, indescribable" he kisses me softly. "Actually, every time with you is pretty indescribable. But you're sure it was ok? I mean the blindfold and, um, everything?"

I've never seen Sid unsure about sex. We've done all manner of things to each other and he's never been unsure.

"Sid, I loved it" I say and kiss him. "And I love you."

He smiles again and replies "good."

"Did you enjoy it?" I ask him.

His smile broadens.

"Oh I would definitely say it's one of the top ten."

I want to ask Sid about the blindfold but I'm embarrassed. Having sex is one thing. Talking about it completely embarrassing.

"What?" he asks.

Damn him for being so intuitive.

"It's embarrassing" I tell him.

"Anna, we are physically as close as two people can be right now. I still have the fucking condom on. I think you can say anything."

Ok, I guess he's right.

"Um" I begin and look at his lips. I can't look into his eyes. "Every time you have me where a blindfold, you take it off of me before we both um, you know."

"Cum?"

"Yeah" I tell him. "Why?"

He reaches up with his hand and tilts my chin up so that I'm forced to look him in the eye.

"I like to see you" he says and shrugs. Now he looks a little embarrassed.

"That's nice" I reply but I'm not buying it. I feel like there's something else. "Is that all?"

He takes a deep breath and then continues.

"It doesn't feel right if you're blindfolded. I mean, we both clearly like it but only to a point, you know? For some of it, I think it heightens the sensations and I love knowing that you can't see me while I'm touching you. But when we cum, I want to look at you, see you, know it's you and have you see me. If not, it just doesn't feel right."

I don't know that I understand what he's saying but clearly he feels strongly about it. Sid must realize that I'm not completely getting it.

"If I can't see you then you could be anyone" he tells me. "And you aren't just anyone. You're my Anna."

Oh. That is incredibly sweet and loving.

"I'm a very lucky girl" I tell him.

"I'm a very lucky man" he replies.

The kiss we share is also sweet and loving.

Sidney

Although I wouldn't say it out loud, and definitely not to her, Anna is a basket case right now. I'm watching her pack for an overnight trip to Harrisburg. Her parents have chosen tomorrow to launch her father's presidential campaign and they want both Anna and her sister there to project the cohesive, all American family. Anna is still pissed off that she had to ask for the day off work tomorrow. Typically, unless it's the actual day or days off the Pen's provide, interns will work every day of their internship.

"This is the presidential campaign, we all need to be there for the family" she mutters under her breath. "Be sure you wear the navy dress and stockings. Ladies always wear stockings."

I made the mistake a few moments ago of asking her to repeat herself because I didn't hear what she was saying clearly. Uncharacteristically, she snapped at me to be quiet. I've not said anything since.

"Ok, got the navy dress and the other two just in case" she begins muttering again. "Heels, flats, stockings of all colours."

She continues to mutter although I can't hear her clearly any more. Finally, she zips up the carry-on bag that she's been packing and stands to look at me.

"Ok, I think I have it all" she pushes back her hair and reties her ponytail.

Does this mean that she's ready to actually talk to me? Should I wait in case there are other things she needs to do for the trip?

Anna walks over to me and sits beside me on the bed.

"I'm sorry that I snapped at you" she tells me and takes my hand. "I'm so pissed off about this trip and I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

I kiss her hand and reply "there's no need to apologize babe. I get it. Are you done? Do you want to have some dinner before I drive you to the airport?"

"Thank you but no. I'm not hungry" she tells me.

I've noticed since she heard about the announcement a few days ago that Anna has worked out longer and is eating less. This must be another side effect of her mother's upbringing. When I first starting seeing Anna, I remember that she often commented on working out and burning calories. I can't remember the last time that she made that kind of comment about her body, eating or working out. Her renewed interest over the past few days has to be related to her mother and this visit.

"When did you last eat?" I ask.

"Sid, I'm fine, really."

I decide to leave it alone because she needs someone on her side right now and not someone who nags her even if it's the best thing for her. I look at my watch and see that we have some time before we have to leave for the airport. I slide up the bed and bring Anna with me until I'm lying back with Anna in my arms. She's almost vibrating she's so high strung and tense.

"Babe" I say.

"Yes" she replies.

"I know that it never works to tell someone to calm down."

"Right, but …"

"But you need to calm down baby. You'll be there for twenty four hours, that's it, and then you'll come home. I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Sid you play tomorrow. You'll need to get some sleep after the game not pick me up late at the airport."

"Let me figure out what I need ok?"

She tilts her head and I shift so that I can see her face.

"Ok" she tells me and leans up to kiss me.

We kiss and I can feel how strung up she is even in her lips. I hold her to me and deepen the kiss. Maybe she needs a distraction and I know that I'm always up for it.

I reverse our positions so that Anna's on her back and I'm lying beside her. I slide my hand from her check, to her neck and then I cup her breast. Lazily I rub my thumb back and forth over her nipple while we continue to kiss. Soon it's a full on make out session. I love how pliable and soft she becomes in my arms. Her curves mold to my body in a way that makes me think she was made for me, we were made for each other, and this is about as perfect as it gets.

I lean away and slide my hand down her stomach, leg and then under her dress. It rides up her thigh as my fingers seek to bring Anna more pleasure. I'm surprised when she reaches down and holds my hand still.

"I'm sorry" she says and closes her eyes tight. "I'm so distract Sidney. I'm really sorry."

I kiss her softly.

"You have nothing to apologize for baby" I tell her. "I thought this might distract you from your distraction."

She cups my cheek with her hand and says "you are not a distraction. I love you."

"I know" I kiss her cheek. "I love you too."

"I'm going to miss you."

"You'll only be gone twenty four hours Anna" I tell her. It may only be twenty four hours but "I'll miss you too."

She giggles and I rest my head on her stomach so that I can look up at her. It feels good when she begins to stroke my hair.

"I love it when you leave your hair curly like this" she tells me. "You are so hot."

Anna usually doesn't talk like this without encouragement and it's nice that she's feeling this comfortable and secure or whatever is happening right now. It's these small moments that I feel love wash over me unexpectedly. It spreads through my body this time emanating from her hand as it continues to stroke my hair.

We lay like this for an unknown amount of time. I lose myself in her touch and the warmth of her body beneath my cheek. She's intoxicating.

"We should probably get going" she tells me.

"Yeah we should" I reply.

Neither of us move.

"We should go" she repeats.

"I don't see you moving" I tell her.

She laughs and my head rises and falls on her stomach with each giggle.

"Ok we really need to get out of bed" she says only this time she rolls and fall back on the bed.

"Fine, if we must."

I stand and pick up her bag while she puts on her shoes. The material of her dress stretches across her hips and ass in the way I love to watch and do so now.

"Stop staring at me" she tells me with her back still to me.

"I can't help it if you're hot."

"Sid, stop it."

"Fine" I tell her and leave the bedroom.

She meets me at the front door and we each put on our coats. When we're ready to go, I reach for the door but Anna puts a hand on my arm.

"I wish I didn't have to go or I wish that you could go with me."

She's expressing exactly what I've been thinking. I even tried to find a way to be there for part of it but there's no way that I could go tonight and be back for practice in the morning. Of course, then there's the actual pesky sleeping issue. It is a game day tomorrow and I'll need my sleep to play well.

"I want that too baby. I'm sorry that I can't make it happen."

"I didn't say it so that you could apologize Sid. I just" she stops and shrugs.

"Me too" I tell her.

She takes a deep breath and I open the door for her to pass.

During the car ride, I can feel the stress emanating from her again. She's clutching her fingers in her lap so hard that they are white and she's shaking her leg. It's killing me to watch this so I pull over to the side of the road under a bridge.

"What?" Anna says surprised.

I put the cars in park and turn to Anna taking her hand in mine. It's ice cold.

"Oh baby" I say and cup her cheek in my free hand. "I hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?" she asks clearly confused.

"Like this babe. You are so stressed that you're shaking" I tell her. She closes her eyes and leans into my hand. "It's going to be ok Anna. Even if the next 24 hours are horrible, it's going to be short and then you'll be back here and they'll be on the other side of the state."

She gives me a small smile but it's definitely genuine and some of the stress has dissipated.

"You're right" she says, turns her head and kisses my palm. "Thank you so much Sidney. I don't know how I would get through this without you."

I feel her kiss travel through my palm directly to my heart. How did this girl come to mean so much to me in only a few months?

"You keep remembering that for the next day, ok?" I tell her. "Ok?"

She smiles and replies "ok."

She seems calmer now, more sure of herself, so I start the car and resume driving to the airport. Anna is silent again but it's a comfortable silence. Then she looks at her phone when it vibrates.

"Oh God" she says. "She's at it already and I haven't even taken off."

I don't have to ask who 'she' is.

"What did she say?" I ask.

"She's telling me what to wear for the announcement tomorrow."

"Do you need to go back and pack it?" I begin to mentally calculate if we have enough time to go back.

"No" Anna says strongly. "She's going to have to live with one of the dresses I already packed."

It might seem like a small thing to others, standing up to her mother about clothing, but I know that it is a big thing for Anna and especially t her confidence.

"You know that you'll look hot no matter what you wear" I tell her and she laughs. "You do. When you get back, we'll have to go out to celebrate. You can wear that dress that you wore in New York. Very, very hot."

She chuckles again.

"Deal" she tells me.

I pull up to the terminal and wish, for the hundredth time, that I was going with her. We both get out of the car and I get her carry-on out of the trunk. I put it down so that I can take her in my arms for one last kiss.

When I pull away, I say "I'm really going to miss you."

"Me too but, as you keep telling me, it's only twenty four hours and then I'll be back."

She kisses me again and picks up her bag.

"Call me when you get there" I tell her.

"Of course" she says and begins walking to the terminal. Halfway there, she turns around and blows me a kiss. It's so sweet.

I only get back into the car when she disappears into the building and I can no longer see her.

I go on autopilot when I get home eating dinner, following up on some emails and then getting ready for bed. That's where Anna finds me when she Facetimes me. It's the first contact since she sent me a text that she arrived safely.

"Hi baby" I say in greeting.

"Hi" she replies.

I notice that she looks more tired than when she left. Actually, it's more like a weariness has invaded every part of her.

"How is it going?" I ask.

"It's ok" she tells me. She sighs and continues "it is what it is. My sister is here which helps some because my mother will focus her attention on her. My father is busy with his advisor finalizing his speech for tomorrow's announcement. I managed to escape them by saying that I had to study my speaking notes."

"Your speaking notes?"

"Yeah, when the press asks me questions I need to say the right thing. Other than that, I just stand there and smile."

"That's not too bad" I try to find the bright side.

"They've even given me notes in case someone asks me about our relationship."

I'm surprised.

"What do they want you to say?" I ask her.

She clears her throat.

"We met as I'm completing my internship with the Pittsburgh Penguins and Sidney is the captain of the team. Sidney and I are very good friends. "

"That's what they want you to say? Seriously? That's lame."

"Well, it's what I'm supposed to say if asked."

"I guess it's boring enough that they might let it go" I tell her.

"Here's hoping."

I watch Anna shift and notice that she's lying in bed.

"Are you in bed?" I ask.

"Yes" she smiles. "But don't get any ideas Mr. Crosby. I'm in the Governor's mansion and who knows what can happen, who could knock on the door or walk into my room."

"You wouldn't want to be caught, huh?"

"Definitely not" she smiles.

"That's ok. I love simply seeing your beautiful face."

I watch her cheeks pink at my compliment but her smile widens.

"And I like to look at your handsome one."

"It's less than twenty four hours now" I tell her. "In fact, in twenty four hours, you'll be here in my bed with me."

"Presumptuous much?"

There's my girl. Flirty Anna is back.

"Are you saying that you won't be in my bed in twenty four hours?"

"I didn't say that" she replies. "I think we might be able to make that happen."

"Good because one night away from you is enough."

"I love you" she says simply.

"I love you."

"I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day."

"Ok babe" I tell her. "Sleep well and I'll talk to you in the morning, ok?"

"Ok."

Her face leaves the phone and I'm left missing her. I have to remind myself that it's less than twenty four hours until I see her again. I can wait twenty four hours, right?


	31. Chapter 31

Anna

"You really didn't have to take me to the airport Matt" I tell him.

The day has been full of reporters and photographers and putting on a show for both. I've had to get changed, three times, so that there were different 'looks' in the pictures. Mother had no faith in the clothes that I would bring so she had racks full of clothes ready for me. Of course, most didn't fit because I'm not a size two like her and my sister; but, we did find a few things that worked.

Objectively, the announcement went very well and my father is already receiving great press. Everyone agrees that he would make a great president, at least they agree for now. As always, you can be up one day and then torn down the next so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

At least the day is over and I can go back to Pittsburgh and put everything here behind me for now. Matthew, the chief of staff's son and a good friend, has been the only bright spot in the day. He's been more like a refuge, saving me when I think I may explode from the stress of being someone I'm not.

"Would you please stop saying that" Matt says. "You were great today."

"That's even sweeter" I tell him.

"We've got time. Want to stop for a coffee?"

"How about something stronger?" I ask.

He chuckles and replies "ok."

A few minutes later, Matt pulls over to the closest place, a sports bar. Once inside, we find a small table in the bar area and order drinks.

"Looks like they knew you were coming" Matt tells me and points to the TV.

I look over and Sid's face fills the screen currently cussing out the ref. I can clearly make out 'are you fucking kidding?' At least the team is winning.

"Oh boy, that's not going to go over well" I say.

"They're playing tonight but you still came here?" Matt asks.

"Do you think I really had a choice? Have you met my mother?"

Matt laughs and I quickly join him.

"Yeah, ok, I get it" he tells me. "At least it's only one day."

"For me, yes, but you need to stay here" I tell him. "I've always wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Matt, why do you do this, work in politics and for my father? Or, I guess, technically you work for your father who works for my father."

He smiles.

"I love politics" he begins and notices the skeptical look on my face. "Honestly, I really do love politics and your father is not the typical republican. Like his education plan. No other republican would ever focus a campaign around education. It's going to give the democrats a run in the next election."

"Have you considered running?" I ask.

He shrugs which gives me the answer.

"You have thought about it" I tell him.

"I have" he admits and looks a little embarrassed or self-conscious. "It's not the time now, but later, maybe."

"I think you would be great" I tell him. "You were on city council before you joined my father's campaign and then staff, right?"

"Yeah, I worked as a lawyer for a few years and then I was on council. The job with your father was too perfect, a great opportunity, so I didn't run for a second term."

"You really do love it, don't you?"

"I do. I think I can make a difference" he confirms. "And you really hate it."

"Hate what?" I ask.

"Hate politics."

"Maybe not politics" I begin.

Matt tilts his head and looks at me pensively.

"Ok, if not politics per se, you hate living in the spotlight" he says. "Isn't that why you took a job on the other side of the camera? You're still involved in the media and the circus but you're not the ringleader."

"That's a great way to put it" I agree. "I hate being under scrutiny."

"With the press or with your mother?"

I'm surprised by his question.

"I'm sorry Anna" he says quickly. "That was way out of line."

"Maybe" I reply. "But it's not wrong."

"Even so, I should never have brought it up."

"I've learned recently that I should trust more than I do" I tell him thinking of Sid. "You've been a good friend to me and I've always appreciated it Matt."

I cover his hand with mine.

"Anna, don't beat yourself up. It's a difficult world that you live in both by circumstance and" he shrugs. "And other things. You need to give yourself a break and remember that I'm always here for you if you need it."

I never realized that Matt had become a friend, a good friend, over the past five or so years. He's always been friendly but I never really opened myself up enough to build a friendship with him. I have to credit Sid with opening me up to new relationships and see possibilities around me.

"Thank you Matt. I appreciate your friendship."

"Good" he says and squeezes my hand back.

He releases my hand and picks up his drink.

"Ok then" he begins. "To friendship."

I join in on the toast.

"How did I do when they asked me the question about Sid?" I ask him.

"I didn't completely agree with the speaking notes that they gave you" he admits. "If you're in a relationship then you're in a relationship and should be proud of it. Saying that you're good friends is just weird; but, that's what they wanted you to say and I think you handled it beautifully."

I smile and say "thanks. I agree with you but, when it comes to the 'speaking points,' I do what I'm told."

We both chuckle. Looking at my clock tells me that we need to get going.

"Ok, let's finish up so I can get out of here" I tell him.

We finish our drinks, settle our bill and then are on the way back to the airport. Once there, Matt retrieves my bag from the back seat and meets me on the sidewalk.

"Safe trip Anna" he says and hands me my back.

"Thank you Matt, for everything."

I give him a quick hug and then walk into the terminal. When I check in, I notice that I've been upgraded to business class. After double checking, the attendant says that it's correct and that I was upgraded this morning by Sid – it's his credit card that paid for it. That sweet man.

Once I'm ensconced in business class with another glass of wine, I check my phone and the game is tied now with three minutes left in the third period. Damn, I'll be in the air and won't be able to get a score until we land. I text Sid.

'Taking off now

tie game now but congrats (I know you'll win)

ty for the upgrade, I'm comfy and getting a little tipsy

see you soon xo'

Once in the air, I have another glass of wine which makes three so I'm definitely more than a little tipsy but not quite drunk. The altitude is contributing it to it too I'm sure. At some point, I must fall asleep because I wake to the attendant gently shaking my shoulder.

"We're about to land" she tells me.

Within thirty minutes, we've landed, I'm off the plane and outside. I asked Sid to wait for me outside so that he didn't have to deal with fans and, after some back and forth, he finally agreed. Of course that doesn't mean he'd wait inside the car, which he isn't.

Sid walks up to me, takes my bag and then pulls me into his arms for a deep kiss.

"I missed you" Sid whispers against my lips.

"I can tell" I say as I feel proof of his joy against my stomach. "Damn, I forgot to check the score when we landed. Did you win?"

"As you texted, of course we won."

"Of course" I repeat and kiss him again.

"Let's get home" he pulls me toward the car.

I notice that a couple of people have their phones pointed at us and I'm sure they're taking pictures or video or something but I put that out of my mind. I can't control what other people do so I'm not going to worry about it.

When Sid gets in, he starts driving and then reaches for my hand. I hold it in both of mine. It's only been a day but I've missed him so much. In one way, it's odd that I would miss him after only one day; but, in another way, it makes sense since I spend almost every day with him at work or when we have a day off.

"You're home or my home?" I ask.

"Mine is closer" he says.

"Then your place."

He grins at me and then moves his attention back to the road. I pull his hand onto my lap and hold it in both of mine. The stress of the day melts away with the feeling of his skin on my own.

"Did everything work out ok? I saw the presser on line and you looked gorgeous by the way" he tells me.

"Not that you're biased" I tease him back. "Yeah, it went fine. My mother had a million things to worry about so she wasn't able to bug me too much. Dad was happy with the way everything went and so were his advisors. The press has been positive."

"Yeah, it has" he tells me.

We drive in comfortable silence the rest of the way to his house. In his garage, Sid needs to pull his hand away from mine to park the car. Thankfully, we're quickly in the house and walk hand in hand up to his bedroom. Once there, he puts my bag down and pulls me into his arms. All of my thoughts about a shower and comfy clothes fly out of my mind. Right now I only want to be in his arms.

"Mmmm" I sigh. "I missed this."

Sid pulls away just enough so that I can look up into his eyes. They are dark and his expression unreadable.

"I need you" he whispers and pulls me into a tight embrace.

I don't quite understand his desperation but my instinct is to sooth so I follow his lead as he takes us under.

Sidney

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

Part of me knows that I need to control my temper but that part is forced out by my frustration. I haven't had a point in four games. My game is shit. I'm actually a liability out on the ice right now with the penalties I'm taking. Johnson keeps sending me out and I keep fucking up or, worse, do nothing. At least if I'm fucking up it means that I'm doing something. Being absolutely useless is a nightmare.

I chase a puck back into our zone as the horn blows and the game ends. As I skate past our net, I slam my stick into the crossbar of the net and it breaks with pieces flying. Thankfully Flower has already skated to the bench. Half the team has left the ice and the other half part as I approach the bench to let me go by them. Everyone knows that I'm pissed and to give me wide berth when that happens.

I have to talk to the fucking media now. I could easily tell Jennifer that I don't want to talk to them, guys do it all the time, but I won't. As the captain, it's my responsibility to face the press as the team's leader and answer for our loss. It's a fucker.

I manage to get my helmet off and my hat on before the press come in the locker room. I barely notice the questions they ask. No sooner do I answer then I instantly forget it, like I want to do with the last four games. Thankfully, Jennifer pulls the plug and the press leave me alone. As I take off my gear, I see Anna across the room with Geno. He's finishing up his presser and she's managing the time just like Jennifer did for me.

I catch Anna's eye and she gives me a nod before continuing out of the room. She doesn't know what to do with me these days. I know that she's trying to help by keeping everything normal and maintaining our routine; but, it doesn't work that way. When I'm playing like shit, it feels like there is nothing that I can do to pull out of it. I always try everything, because it's better than nothing, but usually without success. Every player knows that you need to keep doing what you know how to do and the game will come back. It always does even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. The fucker is that you don't know when it will or what the repercussions will be for the team.

Anna and I drove in together so she's waiting for me when I walk out of the change room. She kisses my cheek and takes my hand then we walk out together. I do love how she knows that I don't want to talk about it right now. All the way home, she keeps a hand lightly on my arm but says nothing.

"Are you sure that you don't want me to drop you off at your place?" I ask. "I'm not much company right now."

"No" she replies quickly. "I want to be with you."

This is the hardest part of being in a relationship during the season. All I want to do is be alone but I couldn't possibly say that to Anna. She would think that it's her fault or that there is something wrong with her. Anna has come a long way to overcoming her insecurities since I met her but I know my girl well enough that she would think it's about her no matter what I say. This is the only time I've regretted my relationship with her and it's not really about her. I would feel that same way if it was someone else. Actually, no, I wouldn't feel the same way if it was someone else. I know that it doesn't matter what happens because this relationship with Anna is worth anything I have to do.

At my place, we walk into the kitchen and Anna goes to the fridge where she pulls out two bottles of water. She knows my routines after a game and does it for me.

"I know that you want to be alone" she tells me.

"Huh?"

"I know that you want to be alone and I would usually respect that" she says. "But I think you shouldn't be alone. I can sit on the sofa and read or we can simply go to sleep and not talk at all. Whatever you want we can do; but, I don't think that you should be alone to just wallow. So, I'm not leaving."

My girl is insightful and has a backbone.

"Ok" I tell her.

She looks surprised and asks "ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

"Ok then."

We stand there watching each other but not moving. Actually, I don't know what to do. I want to be alone but I also now want to be with Anna.

"What would you usually do if I wasn't here?" she asks.

"Um, probably get ready for bed and watch Sports Centre for a little while."

"Ok then" she takes my hand and pulls me with her.

We go up the stairs and into my bedroom. She moves to her side of the bed – when did I start thinking of it as her side? – and starts undressing. Confused, I can only watch her. After taking off her sweater and skirt, she picks up the remote and turns on the TV.

"What channel is Sports Centre?" she asks. I can only stare at her. "Sid, what channel?"

I tell her, she puts it on the TV and then continues undressing. In her bra and panties, she goes to my dresser drawers and takes out one of my shirts. Off come the remaining clothes and on goes my shirt. As she walks to the bathroom, she puts her hair up in a high pony tail.

"Are you going to undress?" she asks and then closes the bathroom door.

The Sports Centre theme gets my attention and I begin to undress myself. When I'm in my shorts, Anna comes out of the bathroom with a freshly washed face. With the tee shirt, high pony tail and clean face, she looks young enough to be in high school.

"All yours" she tells me and climbs into bed.

I go into the bathroom and take care of my own business then return to the bedroom. Anna is putting cream on her body as she watches TV. They begin to talk about our game tonight and Anna picks up the remote.

"No" I tell her. "It's ok. I was there. I know what happened."

She goes back to her cream and I sit beside her in bed. The reporters don't say anything that I didn't already know but it still sucks to hear it. I'm particularly pissed when they start picking apart my game, not just this one, but the last few.

Anna finishes with her cream and lays down under the covers with her iPad. Usually a girlfriend wants to talk about how I feel and asks how they can help me, which drives me crazy. Anna is doing neither. True to her word, she's simply here to be with me and is not trying to 'solve' me. I prop myself up against the headboard with pillows and pull the covers over me. Anna puts the iPad on the side table, turns off the light and then slides over next to me. She lifts my arm, lies her head against my chest and pulls my arm around her. After a few shifts, she settles in with a sigh.

I cuddle her to me and kiss the top of her head.

"I love you" I whisper.

"Me too" she tells me.

Quickly, her breathing slows and I know she's fallen asleep. It leaves me the time I need to reflect on the game and everything that's happened over the past two weeks. Every player goes these things but I'm not every player. My team is supposed to be able to depend on me every game. I should have adapted to the new system by now but it is more complex than I'm used to plays being. Sure, we don't have the stretch pass to start the rush which is different but there's now the need to set up a configuration before going up the ice. I'm half way up on a breakaway and the rest of the guys are in our end setting up. I can't seem to get any speed going in this system. I would never say this out loud but I'm doubtful of the new system Johnston has put in place. We aren't picking it up easily and, personally, I can't seem to get into an offensive rhythm with the way he wants to play. We always need to stop and do things as a unit which prevents good flow.

Oh great, Sports Centre now has an in depth look at my game. I don't need this shit so I quickly turn off the TV and lie down beside Anna. The good news is that I've learned how to will myself to sleep so I do so now.

The next morning, I wake up alone just a moment before my alarm goes off. We have practice and then fly to New York to play the Islanders tomorrow. It's only a one game road trip so Anna has her bag in my car. She's probably in the kitchen on her laptop right now. When we have these kind of practices before away games, no one who travels goes to the office first, instead everyone meets at the practice facility. I get up, shower and dress quickly then down to the kitchen. I can hear Anna talking.

"We can change that easily" she says and then is quiet.

I walk into the kitchen, Anna smiles at me and hands me my protein drink. She must have heard that I'd woken up and made it for me. It's really nice having her here in the morning. Hell it's nice having her here all the time. I keep telling her that she doesn't have to cook or make my drinks but she just smiles and goes back to her cooking. This time she goes back to the table and her laptop.

I sit opposite her as I drink and go through my phone. I've missed a few texts so far this morning but nothing important. I scroll through the news too as I half listen to Anna.

"Geno, you really need to get ready or you'll be late for practice" she says. There's few moments and then she laughs. "I don't take any responsibility for getting you anywhere on time. You're a big boy and you own a watch, a fancy one if I remember correctly, so get your arse there on time."

Only Anna speaks this way to G. They've formed a really close friendship beyond the great working relationship that they've settled into. No one has ever been able to help Geno with the media like this before. He actually seems comfortable in interviews. Anna should take more credit for his success. I know that G appreciates her.

"Ok, fine, bye" she says and disconnects. "Good morning" she says to me.

"Good morning" I reply. "Already giving G shit this morning."

"He hasn't even gotten out of bed yet" she says. "He's going to be late for practice."

"No he won't. He's always running late except for practice and games."

She shakes her head and goes back to her computer. I watch as the expression on her face changes as she reads her email. It's really interesting to watch.

"Have you packed?" she asks me without looking up from computer.

"You don't need to manage me" I tell her.

Anna looks up surprised and then smiles.

"Yeah, sorry, force of habit after talking to Geno" she tells me.

"No problem. It's not like you offered to pack for me." I glance at my watch and say "it is getting late though. I should pack."

I take my drink with me upstairs. I pack on autopilot. I only need a small bag since we're only there one night and I'll wear my suit pants and jacket there. As I'm finishing, Anna walks into the bedroom and gets her shoes.

"Left these up here" she says. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I have everything" I tell her.

I watch as she puts on her shoes. Just three months ago, I didn't even know Anna and now it feels like we've known each other for ever. We've slipped into each other's lives seamlessly, if you don't count her parents and a few bumps along the way.

"What?" she says catching me staring.

"I was just thinking how good we are for each other" I tell her.

Anna blushes and smiles at me.

"I'm a lucky girl" she says.

"No luckier than I am."

Anna

As we fly home, I keep replying Sid's points over and over in my head. He had two goals and two assists and it was clear that Sid elevating his game affected the whole team. Geno managed a goal and an assist too. When those two are clicking, is there any team in the NHL who can stop this team? No way.

When we land, Sid and I each go to our own homes for the night. Neither of us have clean clothes with us nor have we been apart for the night in a few weeks. Besides, in two days we have a day off and have planned to spend the entire day at my place. We may never get dressed. That thought sends a shiver throughout my body.

The next day, I head to Consol as I usually do only I catch myself humming. This must be what happiness feels like. Christmas will be hear in two weeks and I'm very excited about Sid's gift. It took me a long time to find it but I did, finally, and Sid's going to love it. As I think about the first edition, leather bound books telling the definitive story of World War II, I smile anticipating Sid's reaction.

Not long after I've booted up my computer and am sitting at my desk with a coffee, Adam rushes in and perches on my desk.

"I need dirt" he tells me.

I have to laugh because he makes it sound like it's as vital as breathing.

"What kind of dirt are you looking for?" I ask him.

"We haven't dished in a while, what's going on with you and Sid? I saw the pictures taken by fans at your last date."

"Then you know."

"I only know what these pictures tell me and they're public. I have an 'in' with this couple and I know less than a fan. Not fair Annabelle."

I regret him finding out about my given name.

"So, you know everything there is to know" I say teasingly.

"Oh come on Anna! Dish. I've seen him in shorts and a tee shirt. Is his body that good everywhere? I bet he's incredible in bed, right? Oh that smile on your face tells me I'm right."

"I'm not telling you anything" I tell him. "Except that I'm a very, very happy girl."

"Oh Anna, tell me more. I need to know more."

"Adam, I didn't like to talk about my personal life like that even before Sid. He wouldn't want me to either."

"Ok, I get it. But can't you give me anything?" he asks.

"I can tell you that he's even more wonderful than you can imagine. I saw a lot of his parents when they were in town. It's easy to see where Sid gets his innate goodness. Trina, his mom, in particular was really great towards me. I saw them every day that they were here."

"Your parents would like them, right?"

I think about it for a moment and he's partially right.

"They couldn't be more different in a lot of ways but they have some similarities. The Crosbys are devoted Catholics and my parents would like that they're Christian, even if it is Catholic. Do you know that Sid goes to church on Sundays when he's able to do so?" Adam shakes his head. "I didn't either until a few weeks ago and he asked if I wanted to go with him."

"A good Catholic boy, huh?"

"Not that 'good'. I mean, he's very ok with premarital sex" I joke.

"Thank God" Adam says.

"Yes, thank God. The Crosbys are also a very tight knit, family-first kind of people which is definitely like my parents. That's where the similarities end though. Everything else is really, quite different."

"Oh well, Sid survived your parents and you survived his so the family thing can be put behind you."

"The family thing?" I ask.

"Yeah, the family thing. If you're going to marry someone then it is so much easier if the family likes you."

"Who said anything about marriage?"

"That's where you're heading, isn't it?"

I pause because Sid and I haven't talked about it and I don't want the first time I talk about it to be with Adam.

"I don't know right now Adam. We'll figure it out. Right now we're enjoying the process, getting to know each other, having lots of fun."

"And lots of sex" he adds.

I know that I turn red, bright red, but I'm saved from having to respond when a few more interns come into the office.

"We will continue this later" Adam tells me and goes back to his desk.

We didn't have long to talk but it was so nice to talk to a friend about my relationship. I haven't had that before. There have been friends of course but no one that I've been able to be completely honest with and share everything. I guess Sid is the first person that became my friend, my true friend, and then so much more.

I immerse myself in emails until my calendar alarm goes off and it's time for the post-practice presser. Geno has decided to participate so I need to get downstairs.

A few of us head downstairs together chatting about the win last night. It's obvious that they are specifically avoiding talking about Sid's game because I'm with them. These days, any time Sid's name comes up, I can feel all eyes on me to see how I respond. I don't say anything of course but everyone stares at me until the subject changes.

When we get to the locker room, I'm surprised to see Geno is already there and he's talking in Russian to a man the same height and colouring. When they notice me, they turn at the same time and each give me a lopsided smile. That's when I instantly know who the man is.

"Denis, right?" I ask as I walk up to them and hold out my hand.

Denis takes it and, instead of shaking it, kisses it.

"Da" he says. "I'm Denis."

"It's wonderful to meet you" I tell him and then look at Geno. "How come you didn't tell me that your brother is in town?"

"Surprise" Geno says and then speaks to his brother in Russian.

Denis responds to him and then drops my hand.

"Did you have any trouble entering the country?" I ask.

"No, it easy" Denis says. "Thank you for help."

He has the same lisp as Geno and it's equally adorable.

"You're welcome but I didn't do that much" I tell him.

We all turn when we hear talking and see the media coming in.

"Go away" Geno tells his brother.

Denis smiles and leaves the locker room while Geno goes to his stall. I follow Geno and the presser begins. Geno is clearly in a good mode because he's even funnier than usual and has everyone laughing.

When we're done, Geno gets out of his gear and then tells me to follow him. We find his brother in the player's lounge. As we approach, Geno and Denis fire Russian back and forth at each other. I don't understand a word of it of course but it's clear that they are teasing each other and, at one point, I hear my name. Geno shakes his head, says something back to Denis and then Denis shrugs. Ok, that's over, whatever it was.

"You work with my brother? Try to make him sound good." Denis says and laughs.

"He sounds good on his own. He doesn't need me" I reply and Geno starts laughing.

"See" he says to Denis. "I told you I good."

They start going back and forth again in Russian. I wonder if I'm still needed here.

"You come for lunch" Denis says to me suddenly.

I know how much work is waiting on my desk but both he and Geno look at me expectantly. It's too much cuteness and I find myself agreeing.

"Sounds good" I tell them. "When do you want to go?"

Geno looks at his watch and says "an hour?"

"Ok, I'll come back down in an hour" I tell them and leave to go back upstairs.

Once I'm back at my desk, I send Sid a text.

'Going to lunch with Geno and his brother'

'He asked me too' he replies.

'Great, I'll see you in an hour'

'Ok'

The hour flies by and I'm almost late to meet the guys in the lounge. Everyone is there, well, everyone except Geno of course. When I approach the group, Sid takes my hand and kisses my cheek. This is very odd. I'm at work but having lunch with my boyfriend and his friends who are also my clients. We're going to lunch, so it's my own time, but we're still in the 'office'. This is a crazy situation.

Lunch is hilarious. We go to a restaurant near Consol and take over an entire section. Denis is currently telling us stories about Geno as a boy and with the same sense of humour as his brother. It seems that Geno was as gawky as a young boy as I thought he would be. We are all laughing so much that the hour has gone by before I realize it.

I look at my watch and say "wow, I have to get back guys."

They all tell me to stay and take the afternoon off but I know that I really can't.

"Some of us have to work for a living guys" I tell them and then receive a chorus of boos.

Sid says goodbye as well and walks me back to Consol. It's nice to be alone with him and walk down the street hand in hand like normal people. Too quickly, we arrive at the arena and go in the employee entrance.

"I'm going to have to stay a little late tonight" I tell Sid. "But Jen confirmed that we have the day off tomorrow."

"Awesome" he says and kisses me quickly. "Text me when you're leaving."

"Ok" I tell him.

After one more kiss, Sid smiles and then leaves for the parking garage. I go back to my desk and daydream a little about tonight.

Sidney

"I need some sleep woman!"

Anna giggles beside me. We've been in bed all night and all morning and basically had sex the whole time with a few naps in between. Even though I'm tired, I've also never felt better.

"I wasn't the one who initiated the last, um, round" she tells me.

She's right. I woke up and saw Anna lying beside me with her hair spread out over the pillow and the sheet at her waist displaying her beautiful breasts. I couldn't help myself.

"Ok, yes, this one was on me but it was fun" I turn my head to look at Anna.

She's looking back at me, radiantly, and with a huge smile.

"Don't look at me like that" she says.

"Like what?" I ask.

"You know what I'm talking about" she says.

She's about to say something else when there's a knock on the door. Anna gets out of bed, puts on a robe and goes to the hall. I guess we won't be having our next round directly so I might as well dress. Once in my jeans and tee shirt, I go out to the living room and find Anna on the sofa scrolling through her phone.

"Is everything ok?" I ask. "Who was at the door?"

"Um, it was the doorman. Apparently my parents have been trying to reach me all morning and called the front desk as a last resort."

I can tell that she's worried.

"What do they want?" I ask.

"The messages all just say it's urgent and to call them."

She dials their number and the call is picked up quickly.

"Hi M" Anna says and is cut off. After a few moments, she says "ok, hang on, let me turn on my laptop."

Anna disconnects her phone and goes to her dining room table with her laptop.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I don't know. My mother said that there's a story in the press and she needs to know if it's true. Then she said to get on Skype."

When her computer is on, Anna connects to Skype and waits. She gestures for me to sit beside her but out of range of the webcam.

"There you are, finally" her mother's shrill voice comes over the computer. "Where have you been? We've been trying to reach you since 6am. Don't you keep your phone with you?"

"It's my day off so I didn't have it with me" Anna says softly.

"It doesn't matter now" she says. "Last night there was a story on line that we need to refute quickly but you need to tell us it is untrue before we do."

"Ok" Anna replies looking both confused and aprehensive. "What is the story?"

"They are saying that you had an abortion Anna."

I watch all of the colour leave her face and she is as still as a statue.

"Anna? Anna, why would they be spreading these lies" her mother shrieks over the computer.

Anna whispers something but it's too quiet to hear clearly.

"Anna, speak up for God's sake" her mother yells.

"It's true" Anna whispers but louder this time.

"You what!" her mother cries out. "You're lying, you have to be lying."

Anna shakes her head. I can't move. I can barely breathe. I can't believe what's happening in front of me. Anna looks like she could pass out and her mother is yelling and screaming at her through Skype.

The yelling continues even though I can hear others trying to calm her mother down. Anna covers her mouth with her hand and runs away from the dining room. I hear the door to the guest bathroom slam closed.

"Anna, get back here!" Mrs. Stanton yells.

I decide quickly and sit in front of the computer.

"She's in the bathroom Mrs. Stanton. Let me see if she's ok" I tell her and don't give her any chance to argue because I leave the dining room.

When I'm in front of the bathroom door, I can hear Anna vomiting and my heart breaks for her. Regardless of what I think about abortion, I'm sure Anna had a good reason for what she did and her mother should behave like a mother and not a bitch.

"Anna? Baby, are you ok?" Silence. "Anna?"

The toilet flushes and I hear water running; but, when the water stops, Anna doesn't come out. I give her a few moments but still I hear nothing.

"Anna, I'm coming in" I tell her.

I give her a few moments to protest but, when none comes, I open the door. Anna is sitting on the floor opposite the toilet. Her knees are pulled up and her head is leaning against them. I can't see her face. Slowly, I sit down beside her.

"I'm so sorry" she whispers. "I should have told you."

"Anna, it's ok. We don't know everything about each other. You would have told me when you were ready" I try to reassure her. I can hear her mother screaming from the computer in the dining room. "Do you know how this got out?"

"I have no idea. I used a fake name and paid cash so it couldn't be traced to my family."

"No one knew?"

"No one."

This can be figured out later. Right now I'm scared for Anna. When she looks up at me her eyes are huge and her face deathly pale. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears and there is pure terror in them.

"Ok" I begin. We need to focus on the problem. "Let's go back and hear what you're mother has to say, of rather yell, at you."

I don't get the chuckle I'd hoped for but she does nod so I stand and pull her with me. If she wasn't moving I would wonder if she was even aware of what's happening around her.

I quickly think of how to manage this conversation with her mother. I know that they are pro-life but surely something Anna did as a scared kid can't be held against her? Who knows how young she was but being pregnant, young, and part of this Christian Conservative political family would cause her to deal with it alone and in a very definitive way. Surely her Mrs. Stanton can be a 'mother' just this once.

We sit in front of the laptop and I tilt it so that we're both in the frame this time. Anna will not go through this alone this time.

"Finally" her mother says. "Anna, just when I thought you'd brought this family enough disgrace, you find a way to make it even worse!"

"This is hardly productive Mrs. Stanton" I begin but she cuts me off.

"This is not your business Sidney. In fact, this has been made worse because of Anna's little job there."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Who is Meagan?" she asks.

Holy fuck! Is that who leaked this and how would she know?

"You know who she is Mrs. Stanton."

"Don't get sassy with me Mr. Crosby" she says in a very haughty tone. "After the news of this, incident, was made public, this girl, Meagan, was interviewed. She has said some very unsavoury things about my daughter and your relationship. What might have been contained is now a nightmare."

I look at Anna and she's clutching her hands tightly in her lap and looking down at them. It isn't clear if she's even listening right now.

"Anna!" she doesn't move when her mother says her name. "Anna!" she yells louder and Anna looks up at her mother. "You will be booked on the next flight and we will figure out how to clean up your mess. You will not speak to anyone, not the press, not the Penguins, no one. Your poor father is destroyed by this young lady."

"But my job" Anna say softly.

"What job? There are paparazzi waiting for you at your offices. They haven't figured out where you live yet but it's only a matter of time. Get home so that we can clean up your mess."

With that, the image disappears and Skype disconnects.

I turn and take Anna's hands in mine. They are ice cold. I'm really beginning to worry about her but don't know what to do to help. Maybe I should call Mario. He and Nathalie helped us before.

"Anna" I begin and wait until she looks up at me. "I'm going to call Mario."

I pat her hands and then get up. I'm half way out of the room when I hear her.

"No" she says softly.

"No?"

"Don't call Mario. He can't fix anything. I have to leave."

Now I feel cold seep into every bone in my body.

"Why?" I ask.

"I have to leave" she repeats.

"Why?"

She turns and look sat me, tears are rolling down her cheeks now.

"This isn't your fight" she tells me sounding defeated. "It will just be worse if I stay. I can't work with the media if I'm creating the stories. How can you do your job with all of the questions you'll be asked about me? About us?"

I shake my head.

"They know not ask about my personal life. Besides, this has nothing to do with me" I tell her.

"How can you say that?"

"I know we're together but, other than that, what could they ask me? I wasn't involved so I can't comment. That's all I'll say."

Anna looks confused.

"That's the point" she says and looks away. "You weren't involved."

"I'm not following you" I ask, confused myself now.

"They're going to want to know why you weren't involved."

"Anna, you've really lost me now." I search her face for an answer and it isn't until I see stark panic come into her eyes that a terrifying thought enters my mind and goes out of my mouth. "The baby was mine?"

Two years later …

Sidney

All the breath leaves my body when I see her come out of the patio door at Mario's house. I almost don't recognize her at first. She's thin, very thin, and no longer has the softness in her face or her body. Her hair is pulled back severely from her face and she's wearing a conservative cocktail dress. It's been two years since I last saw her but it could be even longer, she seems so different to me.

I watch her look to her left and follow her gaze. Beside her is a man, probably in his mid-thirties, who is smiling lovingly at her. He takes her left hand in his and kisses it in a familiar way. That's when I notice the large engagement ring on her hand.


	32. Chapter 32

Sidney

All the breath leaves my body when I see her come out of the patio door at Mario's house. I almost don't recognize her at first. She's thin, very thin, and no longer has the softness in her face or her body. Her hair is pulled back severely from her face and she's wearing a conservative cocktail dress. It's been two years since I last saw her but it could be even longer, she seems so different to me.

I watch her look to her left and follow her gaze. Beside her is a man, probably in his mid-thirties, who is smiling lovingly at her. He takes her left hand in his and kisses it in a familiar way. That's when I notice the large engagement ring on her hand.

I'm thrown back to that day, two years ago, when my world fell apart …

"Anna, you've really lost me now." I searched her face for an answer and it wasn't until I saw stark panic go into her eyes that a terrifying thought entered my mind and went directly out of my mouth. "The baby was mine?" I ask.

Anna said nothing. Tears fell down her cheeks silently. She wrapped her arms around herself and shook slightly. Her breath was shallow. My subconscious picked up all of those things quickly but all that my brain could focus on was anger, confusion, disillusionment. Not only did she have an abortion, not only was it my child, but she didn't tell me then and hadn't told me since.

"Anna" I yelled at her and she took a step back. "Answer me. Was the baby mine?"

She still didn't speak but slowly nodded her head.

I stood there, still, unable to move or speak. It was hard to form a cohesive thought that wasn't rage filled. She murdered our child. I could be a father but she took that away from me. How could she do this to me?

In a rage, I rushed to her and grabbed each of her arms to shake her.

"How could you do this to me?" I yelled at her and continued to shake her. "How can you tell me you love me and have done this to me, to us, to our baby?"

I squeezed harder and Anna cried out. It's the cry that pulled me out of my rage so that I noticed my fingerprints red on her skin. I moved a few steps back and paced a few times trying to calm down. It wasn't easy but I managed to get control and turned back to her.

"Tell me Anna" I said. "Tell me how you could do this?"

She still didn't speak. Instead she stood still as a statue and rubbed her arms as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Don't you have anything to say?" I asked her.

She bit her bottom lip and stood still for another few moments.

"It's true" she told me. "I'm so sorry Sidney."

With those two words, 'it's true,' I felt everything disappear. All of the plans I wanted for our life together were gone. The dreams of winning the Cup and our baby sitting inside of it were gone. Every dream that included Anna was gone.

"Oh my God, Anna!" Lauren's words yelled across the deck bring me back to the present.

I watch as Mario's daughter and Anna embrace then Lauren examines Anna's engagement ring. They embrace again and then Lauren hugs the man beside Anna. Of course I know who he is. I may not have seen Anna in two years but I know what's happened in our time apart. One of the 'things' that happened is Anna getting engaged to the man beside her, Matthew. He is the son of Anna's father's best friend. Matthew was Governor Stanton's deputy chief of staff and decided to enter the election to replace the Governor.

I still can't believe how different she looks. Together, Matthew and Anna look like a political power couple. They are both attractive, conservatively although stylishly dressed for the Lemieux's BBQ, and definitely make a unit as they stand together.

It's suddenly too much and I know that I can't go through with this right now. I told Mario that I would come to the fundraising BBQ and there have been lots of pictures and autographs to donors but right now I need to get away. Seeing her has been more difficult than I anticipated.

I walk back to the pool, away from the house, and don't stop until I reach the little cottage that I used to call home more than ten years ago. The porch swing is still there so I sit and try to gather my thoughts.

"You ok kid?" Duper walks up and sits beside me.

It doesn't matter how old I am, Duper will always call me 'kid' when he's going to give me advice.

I shrug as my answer to him.

"It doesn't matter how long it is" he tells me. "When it's love, true love, it doesn't simply go away no matter how much you want it to or how much time goes by."

He has always offered good advice, first as a team mate and now as an assistant coach for the team after retiring. Everyone was glad that they found a place for him in the organization.

"Have you seen her or spoken to her since you broke up?" he asks.

"No" I tell him.

"That's half the problem you know."

"Yeah, I know."

We sit together silently and watch the sun set. He's right but that doesn't make it easier or even doable.

I lose track of how long we sit there in comfortable silence. It's one of the true dichotomies of Pascal Dupuis. He can talk non-stop and drive you crazy but he also knows the importance of silence and uses it effectively.

Sometime later, I hear a voice from our right "I've never known you to hide from a party Pascal."

It's Anna. Of course it's Anna. Duper gets up and I watch as he hugs her.

"You look good Anna" he tells her.

Over his shoulder, I can see her face and her eyes catch mine. It's strange. She's Anna but she's not Anna. Her eyes are warm but impersonal and she could be looking at anyone. I guess that's what I am to her now, anyone.

When Duper pulls away, Anna looks at me and says softly "hi Sid."

I stand and reply "hi."

We stare at each other, not speaking, for a few moments. Duper breaks the silence.

"I'm going to get back to the party" he says and leaves.

"You look good Sid" Anna says as she walks closer to me.

Her voice is light and happy like she's greeting an old, dear friend. She stands in front of me know, only two feet away, smiling as if nothing ever happened between us. I can play that game too. I'll just pretend that it's game six against Philly and I'm talking to the press. Ok, maybe I should fake it a little better than that.

"Thanks, so do you Anna" I tell her and congratulate myself for sounding normal when I feel anything but normal. "I see congratulations are in order" I say and point to her ring.

Anna continues to smile and replies "thank you. Matt asked me a few days ago."

"I hope you'll be very happy" I say and know that I deserve and Academy Award for this performance. "You're on the campaign trail full time?"

"Yes I am. Usually with Matt but I have my own schedule too. It was very thoughtful of Mario to offer this fundraiser in support of the campaign. Thank you for coming as well. I know that you hate these type of things but the Penguins, and you in particular, are always a great draw."

We sound like strangers. I feel nauseous.

"How is your father?" I ask her.

This is the first time I see some of the girl I remember, some of my Anna. For a brief moment, I see pain flash through her eyes before she can cover it.

"He's resting at my parent's home in Georgia. My mother is with him of course. It would be wonderful if he can hold on to see Matt succeed him as Governor."

About a year ago, Governor Stanton was diagnosis with pancreatic cancer. He had to drop out of the campaign for president. I wanted to contact Anna hundreds of times to see if she was ok, if there was anything I could do for her, but it was too late for us and I knew I wouldn't be of any comfort. Besides, by then she had started to date Matt. Everyone has been surprised by how long Governor Stanton has been able to fight against one of the worst types of cancer but it's expected that he won't last too much longer.

Finally, I can't take the strain any longer.

"We should probably go back to the party" I say.

Anna smiles, the political smile again, and replies "of course."

We walk together to the backyard. It's awkward. Shit, it's much more than awkward but we're both used to awkward situations.

As we near the patio, I hear Matt call for Anna.

"Right here" she says and walks toward him.

When we reach Matt and the people standing with him, he puts his arm around Anna and draws her tightly to his side. She smiles up at him and goes, willingly, happily.

"Matt" she begins. "You remember Sidney."

"Of course" he says and holds out his free hand. "Great to see you Sid. Congratulations on the Cup! I hear that this season looks very promising too."

"Great to see you too Matt. Yes, we're very excited for the season to begin."

We're saved from any more awkward small talk when Mario joins us.

"Matt" he says. "I like to introduce you and Anna to the Hodgson's."

They excuse themselves and I'm left answering questions about the team and this season from the group around me. At least I'm not making horrible small talk with the 'happy couple' any more. I'm following the conversation in front of me but part of me also follows Anna as she walks from group to group.

I notice more differences in her now. Anna quickly engages others, smiles, talks freely and demonstrates uncharacteristic confidence. There is an ease about her in this setting that I've never seen in her before. She was also good in public but usually had a polished and professional, although slightly aloof, demeanor about her. Anna is now the epitome of the 'girl next door' that everyone likes, wants to be friends with, and will make the perfect Governor's wife.

"Excuse me" I say to the people around me and retreat into the house.

I go to the kitchen where the catering staff are busy cleaning up.

"Are you ok Sid?" Nathalie asks me as she enters the kitchen.

I look at her as she walks up beside me, puts an arm around my waist and pulls me to her side. It's a maternal gesture that I'm used to but try to never take for granted.

"I don't know" I tell her honestly.

"I told you that you didn't have to come. It has to be hard seeing her like this for the first time and with Matt too."

Leave it to Nathalie to call it like she sees it. It's one of the things I've always appreciated about her and what always drives me crazy. She leans her head against my shoulder.

"Of course I had to come Nat" I tell her. "It would have been obvious if I didn't."

"Sid, you know what I mean."

I sigh.

"Yes, I know what you mean but I still think I had to come" I reply. "Both professionally and personally. There's always been something left unfinished between us."

"Has it helped seeing her?"

Has it helped?

"No. I thought if I could just see her and talk to her then it would help; but, she's like a stranger Nat. She was this insecure, unsure girl who was professionally competent but personally struggled. She was sweet and cute and funny. I can't reconcile the girl I knew with the woman I see out there."

"Oh Sid" she says and hugs me to her side tightly. "People change. Yes, she's changed. Don't you think that you've changed in the past two years?"

I think about it and respond "not really, no."

"Oh Sidney" she turns now to face me. "You don't even see it, do you? When was the last time you went on a date? Thought about a relationship outside of hockey? Opened yourself up to new people or experiences? You've been on autopilot Sid and singularly focused on hockey to the exclusion of everything else. There is no balance in your life. You're not just alone, you're lonely sweetheart and don't even know it. There is a hole in your heart." She cups my face in her hands. "You never told me exactly what happened between you and Anna but I know you and it's clear you were deeply hurt. Maybe it's time to talk about it. You know that I love you and am always here for you."

I never knew that she felt this way. Have I really changed that much since I was with Anna? Nat's right that I haven't really dated much and have been singularly focused on hockey. I've revisited a few old girlfriends to mutually scratch each other's itch but that's all. Wow.

"I know you are Nat and I love you for it" I lean in and kiss her cheek. "I'll think about it, ok?"

She looks closely at me frowning until finally her frown clears and she hugs me.

"Ok Sid. I'm here for you, always."

"I know that, thanks."

She moves further into the kitchen to talk to the caterers and I grab a bottle of water before going back outside. I can see that the crowd has thinned out significantly.

"Sid?"

I turn and see Matt standing beside me smiling. I guess this is the other hurdle to get over today; having a conversation with the fiancé.

Anna

I've managed to keep it together all night but watching Sid and Matt shake hands is almost too much for me. I can't help making comparisons. Physically, Matt is taller and leaner while Sid is a few inches shorter with wider shoulders and thighs. They both have short dark hair and full lips. It's unsettling that I know how both men's lips feel on mine. It's disturbing that I can remember clearly and still long for the taste and feel of Sid's.

He's changed. I could tell from the moment that I saw Sid that he's changed. He's older, sure, but is also more somber, serious, than I remember. He isn't here with a date but that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't seeing anyone. Until me, Sid was always careful about making his personal life public so even if he is seeing someone now, I wouldn't find it on line and I need to be discrete so I can't ask anyone.

Of course I know that I've changed too. I was destroyed after the break up with Sid but didn't have any time to think. Quickly I was thrown into the political machine to save my father's campaign from the scandal. Answering questions over and over from the campaign team and my mother about the details of my abortion was first. The sheer hell I went through because I wouldn't tell my mother who the father was or any of the details. She went after me for days to find out what happened but, for the first time, I stood up to her and wouldn't back down. After everything I did to Sidney, it was my job to protect him from this fiasco and I wasn't going to let my mistake impact him. There was backlash on him, of course, since we were dating but no one knew about our one night stand so he was never connected to the abortion.

When my mother finally accepted that she wasn't going to find out the truth, she worked with the PR team to weave a story that wasn't necessarily a lie but also wasn't the truth. The first step was an interview on Fox News with my parents to discuss the horrible mistake of having an abortion. I regurgitated the talking points that my father's PR team put in front of me and looked contrite and apologetic. I answered all questions by following the prescribed script and did everything that I was told. Thankfully my father's numbers rebounded and my sister and I joined the campaign full time. I didn't even bring up going back to my internship with the Penguins. Even if the break up with Sid didn't exist, I would be too much of a distraction and had broken the cardinal rule of PR: I became the story.

I nod to the people in front of me but I'm only half listening. My mind drifts back a year ago to the end of my father's campaign.

My father thought he was tired from the campaign trail and all of the interviews, speeches and meetings. When he almost passed out one evening, my mother insisted that he be checked out by a doctor and that's when the entire world changed. My mother's singular focus on surviving took the place of all political ambition; but, my father couldn't drop it as easily. He loves this state too much to see the democrats take the election so he and his chief of staff, his best friend, went into action.

Within twenty four hours, Matt was convinced to run for Governor by my and his father and he and I had agreed to explore a relationship and start dating. Everyone thought that it would be better than having a young, single man running for Governor. We weren't stupid enough to agree to a shotgun wedding but we'd become really good friends since I joined the campaign and I did love him. He knew about my relationship with Sid and we had affection for each other. We spent a lot of time together for the next six weeks while the campaign planned on how to make the announcement of my father's retirement and Matt stepping in as his replacement. As we grew closer and our relationship turned romantic, I confided in Matt about the abortion and that Sid was the father. I told him everything. If we were going to explore a life together than I had to be honest.

Ironically, my mother didn't try to push the relationship. I expected to experience parental pressure and was stunned when none came. The prospect of my father dying changed all of our perspectives on how we wanted to lead our lives. For my sister, she decided to take her national charity international. She wanted to have a greater impact on the world. My father wanted to have a deeper legacy which he decided could be achieved through Matt. My mother simply wanted to take care of my father.

As for me, I'd made too many mistakes, told too many lies and damaged my relationship with Sid so badly that there was no repairing it. All the decisions I made two years ago were because I was scared and immature. It's taken all of this heartbreak and time to realize that no matter how much experience I had with the press growing up, no matter how much poise and self-confidence I was able to professionally demonstrate, when it came to love and relationships I was immature. I had no idea how to be in a relationship and in love.

I took the opportunity for a relationship with Matt to make a thoughtful and mature decision about my future. We do love each other, not like I had with Sid, but it is love. At first it was through friendship and, over the last six months, it's developed into much more. Matt is going to make a wonderful Governor and he's included me in his campaign. I'm not just the fiancé of the candidate. Rather, I've become part of the communications team creating strategy and messaging. We've developed a partnership similar to my parents only more equal professionally and less traditional. I'm definitely never going to be a southern wife and thankfully Matt doesn't want one.

I engage back in the conversation in front of me and put all other thoughts aside. Eventually the evening ends and it's only Matt, a few members of his team, and the Lemieuxs left. We sit on the deck enjoying a glass of wine and good friends. Thankfully, Sid left so there isn't that awkwardness.

"Matt" Mario begins. "I know that your schedule is packed but do you think you can swing back here in two weeks? We're having our big casino night fundraiser for the Foundation at Consol and you could support the event and get the benefit of the press."

Matt looks at his campaign manager, Chris, who is already looking at his phone.

"We have the Teacher's Union event that night Matt" Chris tells us. "You have to be there given that the campaign is focusing on education. Anna, I think there's a lot of benefit to attending the event here. We don't need you and Matt with the teachers."

I can feel Matt's hand squeeze my shoulder slightly. He knows that I really don't want to do it and is signally his support to my declining. I am grateful but I will always support him and do what I can to support the campaign.

"I can definitely attend Mario" I smile at Matt to tell him that it's ok. "It will be fun to attend rather than work at it like last year."

"Great" Mario says. "It will be wonderful to have you there Anna."

The conversation turns to the Pen's season and how they will continue with the success that they had last year. In December, they fired their coach, brought in Mike Sullivan and won the Cup. The team has remained intact, except for two or three guys, so they are excited for this season too. It reminds me how much I miss being with the Pens and hearing all of the hockey talk. I wasn't there very long but it was the most meaningful time of my life that had the biggest effect on me.

"We should probably get going" Chris says looking at his watch.

We all stand and the Lemieuxs walk us to our car. There are hugs and handshakes all around and then we're in the car on the way to the hotel. We have an event first thing in the morning at an elementary school and then we will get on our bus and head north.

Matt takes my hand as Chris reviews our schedule for tomorrow. When he's finished, he hands Matt his phone so that he can return calls. It takes us thirty minutes to drive back to the city from Sewickley which allows for a few returned calls. The call sheet is never empty but we chop it down whenever there are free moments.

When we get in front of our hotel room, Matt turns to Chris.

"Man, put it in park for the night, ok?" Matt tells Chris and pats him on the back. "It's been a crazy long but successful day. Call it. I know we are."

With that, Matt and I go into our room and leave Chris outside.

I immediately kick off my shoes and then go to our luggage. I unpack our toiletries while Matt hangs up our clothes for tomorrow. We could probably go through this routine in our sleep having done it so many time. After we take turns in the bathroom, I come out and Matt is in bed reviewing something on his iPad. When I sit beside him, he puts his iPad down and lifts an arm so that I can cuddle beside him.

"We weren't able to find a minute alone all night" he begins. "How are you?"

I don't have to ask what he means.

"We never do" I reply. "It was difficult but I'm ok. I managed to find a moment alone with Sid so that we could talk."

"But you're ok?"

"Yeah, it was strange" I shift so that I can look up at him. "It felt like no time had passed but also like I didn't even know him anymore. It's hard to explain." He frowns down at me and I know he wants to ask me something. "Go ahead" I tell him.

"Were there still, you know" he begins.

"Feelings there?"

"Yeah."

We've always given each other complete honesty. It's what we decided and agreed to early on in our relationship and it's what has made it strong.

"Yeah, there still are" I admit. "The impact that my relationship with Sid had on me is difficult to articulate and quantify Matt; but, a relationship like that leaves a mark forever."

I feel badly saying it but I owed it to him.

"Can't say as I like it but I understand it" he tells me. "It's made you who you are today so I have to be grateful in some way, right?"

"Maybe not grateful but at least understanding" I reply.

Matt chuckles and nods.

"Ok, understanding then."

"I love you" I tell him.

"And I you" he says and kisses me softly.

Before it can deepen, his phone rings and it's Chris. If he knows that we've said goodnight and still calls then it's important.

I watch as Matt listens to Chris and, to me, he mouths 'it's ok'. I smile and climb into bed. How different things can be in two years.

Two years ago, I was begging for the worlds', or at least the Christian worlds', forgiveness for having an abortion and now I'm in bed with my candidate fiancé and no one would care. Of course Matt isn't running on family values and Christianity. Sure, he's Protestant and attends church but it's not his platform.

I review my emails, of which there are over a hundred, and decide that there is nothing urgent. It's been a stressful day, and evening, and I just need to turn off. First, I need to call my mother. Matt is still talking to Chris so I move to the other side of the room and sit on the sofa.

"Annabelle, it's late" my mother says in greeting.

She knew how late I was going to call and insisted earlier that I still do. That doesn't mean anything now I guess.

"Hi mother, it was a long but successful day."

"Well that's good I guess."

"How is father?" I ask.

"He had a good day. We even managed to sit in the garden for a few hours."

How dramatically their lives have changed where now sitting quietly in the garden is a good day.

"That's good mother" I reply. "How are you?"

"Oh you know me dear" she says in a thicker drawl now. It always tends to get thicker before she speaks 'southern.' "I'm as right as rain in the spring."

The fact that the expression isn't very creative tells me how tired she is and I remember the last time I saw her. No matter how much she tried to hide it, she was very pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. There are many things I can and have said about my mother over the years but I would never deny how devoted she is to my father and how seriously she takes her vows 'in sickness and in health'.

"I'm going to find a day next week to visit" I tell her. "I'll let the scheduler know the exact day tomorrow. My schedule has shifted a bit for next week."

"That would be lovely dear. You know how busy your sister is traveling with her new charity."

I take a deep breath and try to let the bile that rises at the mention of my sister slide back down. When our father was diagnosed with cancer, she made a big show of being there to help him and do anything she could to support our parents. The next week she made a declaration that our father's illness was a sign that she should take her charity international and then she left. My mother dismissed it by saying that she's doing 'God's work' and that was it.

Not for the first time, I wonder if there was a switch at the hospital and I really don't belong with this family.

My mother and I say goodbye and I look up to see Matt watching me. He's off the phone now too.

"She brought up your sister" he says.

"How can you tell?"

"You only have that look when your sister is discussed."

"Yikes, I hope not."

"Don't worry babe, you hide it well when we're in public" he tells me and I relax. "Come here."

I drop my phone on the end table and climb into bed beside Matt. He cuddles me close and I force myself to relax. It's always a chore to relax after I talk to my mother.

"You're doing that thing again" Matt whispers.

"What thing?"

"Where you take three deep breaths and repeat your 'relax' mantra over and over in your head."

"How well you know me" I reply.

"I may need to borrow that relaxing technique over the next three weeks. I can't believe that we're almost at the election."

"Me either" I tell him. "Did I hear Chris say that we raised enough tonight to do the ad buy for the remainder of the election in the key regions?"

"Yeah, we can now focus on a mad dash around the state doing the 'grip and grin' thing."

"I know that they're making the changes we discussed to the scheduling. Does that mean we'll be apart a lot?" I ask.

"Over the next two weeks, yes, and then we'll travel together the last week. Oh, I put a stop to the video they wanted to make of your father."

"You know that he'd do it gladly Matt."

"I know, and he's offered, but" he doesn't continue.

I know immediately why.

"His health is failing fast" I finish for him.

"Yeah" he whispers and kisses the top of my head. "He needs to focus on being well and nothing else."

"Thank you" I whisper back.

"You're family and I love you. Don't thank me" he says. "Oh, Chris wants to change the schedule so that you are back in Pittsburgh a few more times and not just for the casino night. Apparently you're a bigger draw than I am since you worked for the Pens."

Oh God. Pittsburgh.

"If that's what's best then Pittsburgh it is" I tell him.

"You'll be ok with that?" he asks me.

Now I tilt my face up so that I can look at Matt. He's concerned and this isn't the first time he's asked me if I'm ok being in Pittsburgh.

"Yeah, I'm ok so stop asking. Pittsburgh is an important city for the campaign so one of us needs to be here. Philly is important too but they don't like me there. Who knew that the Flyer fans' hatred of the Pens would translate to me being disliked? I was an intern here for half a second."

"You don't want to get in between Pens and Philly fans babe."

I chuckle and reply "I know." I cup his face in my hand. "You know that I love you, right?"

"Yeah I do" he turns his head and kisses my palm

"So stop worrying about me" I tell him. "Tonight was difficult because it was the first time that I've seen Sid since I left and there's feelings still there to work out. That's all Matt."

"You'd tell me if there was more right?"

I rarely see Matt being doubtful about anything, and especially me.

"Matt, I love you. I told you how I feel about Sid. That's it."

"Ok" he smiles and nods. "Do you believe in soul mates?" he asks unexpectedly.

"I don't know that I've thought about it too much" I reply. "I guess I don't."

"Really?"

"You're surprised?" I ask.

"Yeah, most wouldn't know this about you, but you are a romantic Anna."

"Am I?" Now I'm surprised. "I guess I can be. I think that believing in soul mates is too easy."

"Ok, that needs some explanation. Too easy?"

"Think of a couple who have a solid, long term relationship. Is it because they are soul mates or because they work on their relationship and make it a priority? There are ups and downs and it's not always perfect; but, their relationship is solid because they work on it. It's not easy but it's worth it and we wouldn't want it to be easy. Anything worth doing, worth having, should be a little hard. Don't you think?"

"I never thought about it that way" he tells me. "I guess it makes sense."

"And if soul mates exist then why do they always live near you? There are billions of people in the world. The odds are your soul mate would be half way around the earth and living in a completely differently world."

"Instead we work on our relationship" he tells me.

"Yeah, we do. That's what makes us happy and how we stay in love, together."

"Do you think that's what we tell ourselves so we can settle rather than holding out for a 'great love' with a soul mate?"

"No" I reply quickly. I'll have to think about why later. "You could interpret it that way but no. Love isn't easy but it's worth it and I definitely love you."

"I love you too" he says and kisses me. "Now we need to get some sleep. We may not get much for the next three weeks until the election."

"And then the next four years after you win" I tell him.

"I hope."

I settle back onto my pillow and Matt does the same on his side of the bed. We're both exhausted and quickly I hear Matt's breath slow. I fall asleep soon after.


	33. Chapter 33

Anna

"Remember to focus on the superintendent and not the politicians tonight" I tell Matt. "The teachers don't respect the politicians there but, ironically, they respect the superintendent. Usually the teachers hate administrators but that township is very weird."

"Yes dear" Matt says teasingly.

"Ok, ok, I know that I'm repeating myself."

"You are but I love you for it babe" he tells me and chuckles. "Are you ready for casino night?"

"I have cash and a smile" I tell him.

"Then you're ready. Everything is ok?"

I know that he's asking about me being back at Consol with the Pens and seeing Sid.

"I just got here so I haven't seen any of the guys yet but I'm looking forward to it."

"Ok."

Clearly he needs more.

"I'm going to try and talk to Sid tonight like you and I discussed. There's so much we need to say to each other still and I think that will finally help put everything behind me for good."

"I'm glad" he says. "Really Anna, I think you need it and he might too."

"How did I get so lucky to find a man like you?"

"You didn't find me. Your dad did."

"Ok, that just sounds icky."

He chuckles and agrees "yeah. I guess it does."

"Ok, I need to go."

"All right. I love you."

"Me too" I tell him and disconnect.

I take a last look in the mirror and smooth down my dress. The casino is a 60's Rat Pack theme this year so I'm wearing a form fitting, scoop neck, red satin dress like Ava Gardner used to wear. I have to admit that it looks good and suits me. It should photograph well too.

I leave the bathroom and walk directly into Pascal.

"Whoa, watch out" Pascal says and catches me before I can trip.

"Oh, sorry Pascal" I reply and smile up at him.

"Wow" he says and looks me up and down. "You look great."

I look him over too.

"And so do you. Wow" I tell him.

He hugs me close and I return his affection. It's hard not to love this man.

"This event has grown even larger if that's possible" I tell him.

"Yeah, since we won the Cup last year, there's been a lot more people interested so they've expanded the event. I think we'll have double the people from when you were here last."

I walk with him down the hall towards the locker room. Memories wash over me of the many, many times I walked this way to manage a scrum for Geno. I even smile when the smell hits me. There may not be any gear present but the smell never completely disappears.

"Anna, you back!"

I look to the side of the room as we enter and see Geno walking toward me. Before I can do or say anything, he has lifted me in his arms and is twirling me around. I cling to his arms for my life.

"Put the woman down G" Pascal tells him.

Finally, my feet do get back on the ground but Geno doesn't completely let me go. He holds me close to his side.

"You no come visit. You no write. No one save me from reporters" he tells me.

I have to chuckle.

"You always did just find on your own Geno" I tell him. "Congratulations by the way."

I heard that Geno became engaged in the off season.

"Yes, I off the market" he tells me. "You get married too?"

"I'm engaged, yes" I say and Geno takes my hand to look at my ring.

"Where diamonds?"

I know he's kidding because my ring is plenty large enough but I play along and say "my fiancé is a politician and not a hockey player."

Geno rolls his eyes at me.

"You should have bigger" he tells me and makes me laugh.

"Anna!" I hear my name.

When I turn, I see Kris Letang a second before he hugs me. More of the guys have followed him into the room and I'm passed around for hugs and greetings. I don't know why I was so worried about seeing the players. The office staff was all so kind earlier although it did feel weird to see Adam boss around interns. I'm so happy that he stayed on full time with the Pens. We're going to have breakfast tomorrow before my morning event so we can catch up.

Flower is the last guy to give me a hug. When he lets me go, I turn and see Sid in front of me.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi" I reply and notice that the room has fallen completely silent.

Everyone is staring us for a moment before they all make themselves busy. I notice that Sid and all of the guys are wearing sixties style suits with thin ties and fedora hats. Sid looks good, really good.

"Ok guys, let's get the group picture" the photographer shouts out.

Sid smiles and turns to the middle of the room. I touch his arm before he can walk away.

"Sid" I say in a low voice. "Can we find a few minutes to talk after the event?"

He looks surprised but says "sure we can."

I watch the guys get into position for the team photo and the barely controlled chaos makes me nostalgic.

"Remember this?" Adam asks beside me.

"I do" I tell him. "I actually miss it."

"Yeah?"

I turn to Adam.

"Sometimes, yeah, I do miss it" I tell him. "I always miss you."

He smiles.

"Seeing you live is very different, and much preferred, to the emails we've exchanged since you left" he tells me.

"I know Adam, I haven't been a very good friend. I really am sorry."

"You can make up for it in the morning" he tells me and puts his arm around me.

"You know we have to meet early, right? I have to leave the hotel by 9am" I tell him.

Adam rolls his eyes and says "I know. You've always been a masochist for early mornings. It's not normal you know."

The familiar joking about Adam's hatred of mornings gives me comfort and reminds me of what a great friend he was to me. I should have visited or called him more but I sometimes think it was survival instincts that made me try and forget about everything that happened here. It was self-preservation at the time but I'm trying to make up for it now.

"I'll actually be up at 6am if you'd like to meet then" I tell him.

"Gawd! No thank you" is all he replies and then walks away to help the photographer.

I watch the chaos in front of me and feel nostalgic again. The guys are joking and laughing. A couple of them are taking selfies and posting them on various social media. Kris dashes over to me with his phone and before I know it he's pulling me to his side and taking our picture. At least I have enough time to smile.

"Don't worry" he says to me. "You always look hot."

I can feel my cheeks get hot and know that I'm blushing. I may have developed more confidence but I still get easily embarrassed when I'm complimented.

"Ha ha" I reply.

"Anna?" I turn and there's a young woman behind me.

"Yes" I say.

"Hi, I'm Liane. I'll be helping you this evening."

Wow. I've been assigned my own intern. How quickly things change in two years.

"That's great Liane. It's nice to meet you."

"You too" she says. "Do you have a moment to go over the schedule?"

I nod and she leads me into the empty players' lounge where we sit at a table.

"Ok, so Mario is introduced first since the event is run by his foundation. He's requested that you be introduced after him so that you can enter together. We do the team last and they'll go directly to their assigned locations."

"That sounds great" I tell her.

"I'll be with you for the evening and I have a list of the media and reporters. There are also some special guests that the campaign told me you should talk with too."

She's very efficient and direct, two things that are much appreciated by clients. Wow, I guess I'm a client for her tonight. Yeah, things have changed a lot in two years. Liane gets a call, and tells me she'll be back when it's time to go in, before leaving the room.

"I heard that you're here" I hear behind me.

I look and see Chris Stewart, the team's head trainer.

"It's so good to see you Chris" I say as I stand.

We hug and I ask about his family. For the next few minutes I listen while Chris tells me about his kids who are all in high school now. A few of the equipment guys come by and join in our conversation.

"Ms. Stanton?" I hear Liane calling me. I turn and she says "we're ready now."

"Please call me Anna" I say and follow her down the hall.

"All ready?" Mario asks as I approach him.

I give him a hug and reply "yes, all ready."

It isn't long before we are introduced and there is a huge applause as we enter together. I'm well aware that it's all for Mario but it's nice just the same.

We stand to the side and wait while the team is being announced. Of course, Sid is last and gets the loudest applause. As the festivities start up, Mario leans down.

"Why don't I introduce you to a few people?" he tells me.

I nod and notice that Liane has appeared silently beside us.

For the next hour, Mario introduces me to some of the big contributors, friends of his and community leaders. I envy how easily he's able to switch between talking about his foundation and the election while giving the appropriate importance to each.

"Mario, can we have your autograph?"

A couple of fans are beside us holding out jerseys for him to sign. Soon he is enveloped by fans and Liane leads me away.

"Would you like to meet with the media now?" Liane asks me.

"Do I have to?" I ask under my breath and Liane chuckles.

"I'm afraid so" she tells me.

For the next hour, I talk to print media, am interviewed for TV and by internet reporters. It's tedious but the music is loud and upbeat and the crowd is clearly enjoying themselves. It makes the environment light and fun and the time goes by quickly. Eventually, I hear the silent auction winners being announced telling me that the evening is winding down.

I wander around the tables talking to people about the event and the foundation. Of course the conversation always turns to the Pens, their Cup win last year and the likelihood of a repeat. I see a woman with a boy about nine or ten years old. The boy is wearing a Crosby jersey and I watch as his eyes follow Sidney's movements around the room.

"Hi" I say to the mom and boy. "You're a big Crosby fan?"

"Oh yeah" the boy says to me.

"Have you met him tonight?"

The boys frowns, looks at his mom and then back at me.

"Naw" he replies.

"Do you want to meet him?"

"Oh yeah."

"Ok, I'm Anna. What's your name?"

"I'm Trevor. This is my mom."

"Hi Trevor" I say and turn to his mother. "It's nice to meet you both."

"Hi I'm Angela" she says and we shake hands.

I turn back to Trevor and say "ok Trevor. Let's go meet Sid."

He puts his hand in mine and I lead him across the room to where Sid is standing with a few fans. Sid sees us and smiles when he notices the boy. He excuses himself and walks toward us.

"Hi Sid" I say when he's in front of us. "This is your biggest fan, Trevor."

"Hey Trevor" he says and greets the boy. "You like the Penguins?"

Trevor just nods. I can tell that he's nervous and Sid must notice too.

"Would you like me to sign your jersey?" Sid asks him.

Trevor nods again then Sid leans down and signs the front of Trevor's jersey.

"Thank you Sid" the mother says and nudges her son.

"Thanks" Trevor says.

Sid looks at Trevor and says "you're welcome. Have you been to a game?"

"Yeah" Trevor says and becomes more animated at the question. "We were at the Caps game two weeks ago. You slaughtered them."

That's all Trevor seems to need to encourage him to talk. For the next five minutes, Trevor gives us a replay of the highlights of the game with details of Sid's goals.

Eventually, Trevor's mother says "I think we need to get going Trev. Sid needs to leave soon too."

We all say goodbye and Trevor and his mom walk away leaving Sid and me alone.

"He was excited" I tell Sid.

"Yeah, good kid. Smart too. Did you hear his play-by-play from the game?"

"He's adorable."

Sid and I smile at each other and, for that moment, the past doesn't exist. We are simply sharing a sweet moment.

I look around and the place is half empty and there's a small group of people standing together looking at Sid and I. A few of them have Sid's jersey in their hands.

"Looks like you have some fans waiting for you" I tell him.

"Yeah" he looks at them, "Did you still want to meet up tonight?"

"I would like to if you still have time."

"Sure, where?" he asks.

Shit, I didn't think about where we might meet. We can't meet at my hotel. That is completely inappropriate. Same thing goes for his house. There's going to be a lot of people down here cleaning up from the event so we can't stay in the player's lounge.

"How about upstairs in the office lounge?" I ask.

Sid agrees and then moves off to the small crowd of fans. Liane approaches me when he's gone.

"Is there anything else you need from me Anna?" she asks.

"No" I tell her. "Thank you so much for everything you've done to help me tonight. You are very good at your job."

"That's very kind of you" she tells me and we say goodbye.

I walk to the elevator stopping periodically to chat and catch up with those I see and know. It didn't feel like a long time but I watch Sid approach, having finished with his fans and changed his own clothes, and I realize that I've been talking for a while. He walks past me, saying hi to both me and the assistant I'm speaking with, and walks toward the elevator. When I hear the 'ding', I excuse myself from my conversation and catch the elevator before I closes.

"Hi" Sid says after the doors close.

"Hi" I reply.

"Do you remember the hour we spent trapped in here?" he asks.

"Yeah, I remember" I reply. "I also remember how surprised I was when you confessed to reading Fifty Shades of Grey."

Crap, where did that come from? I know that I'm turning red, both from my comment and remembering how we tried out some of the things we read in the book.

"Yeah" Sid says. "It's nice to see that some things haven't changed."

"What do you mean?"

"You are turning a vibrant shade of red."

"Oh" is all I can say.

He smiles a knowing smile that tells me he remembers the things we tried too and that's when I feel it. There's an overwhelming rush of emotions that wash over me too quickly to be identified at first. My chest tightens, physically tightens, and my vision swims. I can still see but it's soft and fuzzy around the edges. I feel hot and cold at the same time. There are too many emotions to catch up.

"Are you ok?" I hear Sid ask me but he sounds like he's a million miles away.

I think I feel Sid's hand on my arm but I can't parse out everything that's going on in my body. I almost feel like I'm not really part of my body, maybe not even in this elevator, and I can't move.

"Come on" Sid says.

He cups my elbow and guides me out of the elevator, down the hall, and in to the lounge where he pulls me to the sofa.

"Just sit for a moment" he tells me.

Sid moves away and I concentrate on taking deep breaths and trying to push away whatever is happening right now.

"Here" he pushes an open bottle of water into my hands. "Take some small sips."

I can feel myself calm and I follow Sid's directions to sip from the water. Finally I'm able to pull myself together and I look up where Sid is sitting in a chair across from me.

"Better?" he asks.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Two and a half weeks and then I can take a very long nap." Sid furrows his brow and looks quizzical. "The election will be over."

"Oh" he says when he understands. "I guess it's been a lot of hard work."

"It's been a lot of travelling and hours" I admit.

There's a long silence like we don't know how to talk to each other. Maybe we don't after all this time.

"So how …"

"Where are you …"

We say at the same time and then laugh.

"Go ahead" he tells me.

"I was going to ask how your family is doing" I tell him.

Sid sits back and smiles.

"They're good. Taylor graduates this year."

"Wow, really. Has there been interest from Hockey Canada?"

Sid smiles like the proud brother he is, "yeah. She was cut from the last Olympic team because she was too green but she'll make it this time."

"That's great. What about you? Are you going to the Olympics this year?"

"They want me to go. If I'm healthy then I will."

"A third gold medal?"

He shrugs.

"How is your father?" he asks.

I know that the pain I'm feeling has to be showing on my face. It seems to be the only thing I can't hide, ever, from anyone.

"He doesn't have much time left" I'm surprised when the candid answer comes out of my mouth.

"Oh Anna" Sid says. "I'm so sorry."

I feel tears come into my eyes.

"We're hoping that he can hang on to see the election. He would love to see Matt win; but, it's hard for him simply to sit outside with my mother for a few hours. I don't know if he'll be able to hang on."

I feel a couple of tears slip down my cheek and Sid's hand reaches out and takes mine. I look up and he's sitting on the edge of the chair now, holding my hand and looking directly into my eyes with an empathy and understanding I've missed. Oh how I've missed him. I've tried to convince myself that I've moved on but, oh boy. I've been successful until this very moment when I'm forced to wonder how long I've been deluding myself.

Sidney

She looked so lost and sad that I reached out to take her hand impulsively, instinctively, needing to sooth and comfort. Now that I'm only a foot away from her, I'm wondering if this was such a good idea.

As the tears fall from her eyes, I want to sit beside her on the sofa and pull her into my arms. It's a primal, physical need I feel to touch her, hold her, and make everything better. But that's not my role anymore. She's not mine to take care of and comfort. I feel my heart squeeze a little at the thought and I release her hand and sit back in my chair. Anna takes a tissue out of her purse and wipes her tears.

"Sorry" she says and gives me a small smile. "It's so difficult to think that he can be gone when not long ago he was running for president. I have so much trouble seeing him frail and failing when he's always been bigger than life."

"Don't I know it" I tell her. "I remember being in that office with him while he grilled me on my intentions toward his daughter."

That elicits a smile from Anna.

"You told me that it wasn't that bad" she protests.

I smile and say "you're right, it wasn't that bad and you were definitely worth it."

We're silent for a moment. I can feel the things left unsaid between us like a wall.

"Sid, I feel compelled to talk about what happened."

I don't have to ask her what she means. Anna is talking about what happened between us two years ago and, if I'm honest with myself, I want to talk about it too.

"Ok" I reply and wait for her to begin.

"Ok" she begins. "First, I can't possibly express the amount of regret I feel for how I handled the, you know. Disappearing like it did without contacting you at all was not how I would handle it now. In fact, if it was now, I would do many things very different. I'm very sorry about how it all happened."

"I guess that's why I wanted to talk to you too. It still feels like everything just stopped and ended without it really ending, you know?" I say.

"Yeah, I know" she says. "Let's start with what happened that day. I went immediately to the Governor's mansion after you left, actually late that night I arrived, and my mother and father were waiting for me. For hours my mother alternated between asking me the same questions over and over and yelling at me about what I had done to the family."

It sounds truly horrific and part of me feels badly that she had to go through it alone; however, hearing her talk about it brings me back to that day and the hurt and pain I felt.

"Anyway" she continues. "My mother finally gave up the next morning. She finally realized that I wasn't going to give in and tell her who the father was and how everything happened."

"You never told her?" I ask surprised.

"No, I didn't tell her that it was your child. No one except us knew about that night and that we knew each other before my internship began. It wasn't fair to get you involved more than you were already Sid. Anyway, the next day was spent figuring out what our next move was, when it would happen and then preparing me when they decided on an interview. That evening, just thirty six hours after the news broke, I was on Fox News with my parents being interviewed. They kept me out of public for a week and then I joined the campaign full time."

I never thought about how hard it was for Anna. Her mother was a bitch before the shit hit the fan and I can only imagine how bad she got afterward.

"That must have been difficult" I say feeling inadequate.

"Nothing I didn't deserve" she says and then continues before I can jump in. "I guess you know the rest. My dad has cancer and Matt decided to run in his place."

"And you started dating" I want to kick myself as soon as it's out of my mouth.

"Yeah" she agrees softly. "I am so sorry Sidney that, well, for everything. I'm so sorry."

"Apology accepted, let's put it behind us, ok?"

"Ok."

I think about my words. Can I really just put it behind me that simply? She says that she's sorry so everything is ok and then that's it? Why do I still feel angry? Why do I also feel sad?

"Now everything is perfect for you" I say with more sarcasm then I intend.

"Not perfect, not near perfect" she says with sadness in her eyes.

Is she thinking about her father? Does she mean her relationship with Matt? Do I have any right to even wonder? Ask?

"Are you seeing anyone?" she asks me.

"No one seriously" I tell her.

"Oh" she says and the awkward silence builds again.

Her phone vibrates over and over, as a call, and she looks at it.

"It's Matt, excuse me" she says and answers it.

I listen as she greets him, tells him about the event and then asks if she can call him back later because she's talking with me. I can't help feeling surprised that she told him we're together. It's not like we're doing anything wrong but I am an old boyfriend. She disconnects and turns back to me.

"Matt says hi" she tells me.

I just smile not knowing what else to do.

"You look surprised" she says. "Are you surprised that I told Matt we're together?"

"A little" I admit.

"Sid, Matt and I have an open and honest relationship. We tell each other everything and he knows all about our relationship."

That makes me wonder.

"Does he know that the baby was mine?" I ask.

Anna takes a deep breath and then answers "yes."

I'm stunned and pissed.

"You said that you didn't tell anyone" I yell at her. Part of me wants to calm down but I'm too angry to think rationally. "It's none of his business Anna. How could you tell him?"

"He's going to be my husband Sid. Of course I told him."

I can't sit any longer so I get up and start pacing the room.

"Of course you told him" I repeat sarcastically back at her. "Throughout our entire relationship, all you did was lie to me but with this guy you suddenly decide to be completely forthright and honest about something that's none of his business. What the fuck Anna?"

"Oh Sidney" she says and walks to me. "I shouldn't have lied to you, ever, but I did many, many times. It taught me how important honesty is in a relationship and that's what Matt and I have promised each other."

"So what, I was practice for you?"

"What do you mean?" she asks me.

"You lied and lied to me and finally figured out that it's not good to lie. What. The. Fuck."

"Sid" she throws her hands up. "I was immature and handled our relationship badly, all of it, and I don't want to do that again."

"So I was practice for your relationship with him" I tell her. The pain slices through me. "How could you do that to me Anna? I thought you loved me!"

"Oh Sidney, I do, I mean I did love you. I didn't hurt you deliberately."

I grab her arms.

"How did you think I was going to react when I found out that you killed our child?" I yell at her.

She turns white. All colour drains from her face and she shutters.

"It wasn't like that Sid and I didn't make the decision easily. Just because I had the abortion doesn't mean that it was painless or that I don't think about it every day. We could have a child right now. I feel a knife in my heart every time I think about it. Just because I decided to have an abortion doesn't mean that I did so happily. It almost killed me. I was alone, scared and hated myself for being so stupid to have sex with a man I didn't know and without a condom too. Don't you ever think that this was easy for me!"

I take a step back and let go of her arms. She's right. I never considered how difficult it was for her to be alone, scared, and pregnant. She had to hide it from everyone, including her mother, and then take care of it herself too.

"I could have been there for you Anna. I would have been there for you if you'd told me."

"How could I know that then? I felt so stupid for essentially being a puck bunny and having sex with a hockey star that I didn't even know. Then, when I found out that I was pregnant, my world fell apart. I barely knew you and clearly you didn't even remember me. What would you have thought if I'd told you that I was pregnant? What would you parents say, your agent? Everyone would doubt that the baby was yours and then my parents would find out and it would impact my father's campaign. The world basically dissolved in front of my eyes when I looked at the stick I peed on and it said 'yes'."

"I'm a good guy Anna. You know that and I would have taken care of you."

"I know that now but how would I have known that then? You were drunk. You passed out immediately after your orgasm and right on top of me. I thought you were like every other athlete I'd heard about who screw around with girls who worship them. I was also mortified that I let myself have sex with a man I didn't know. I may not hold all of the same beliefs as my parents but I do have a more strict moral compass than most my age. I'm not a virgin but having sex with a stranger is something I would never do. Until you I guess."

I can't argue with anything that she's saying but I still feel the rage inside of me for what happened. Maybe I'm grieving for everything we lost including a happy future. Maybe I'm angry that she has a relationship with Matt that should have been our relationship. She seems to easily give him everything, including her honesty, which she never gave me.

"How did this get so fucked up?" I ask rhetorically and run my fingers through my hair.

"Because I made it so fucked up" Anna says softly.

I watch her eyes fill with tears.

Instinctively I reach and pull Anna into my arms. I feel her arms encircle my waist and her hands settle on the small of my back.

I quickly notice the changes as her body presses to mine. She's smaller and her curves are more angular rather than soft. She's in those high heels she always wears so we're almost the same height. Her scent is different. I remember that she used to smell of her shampoo, like green apples in an orchard. I can't put my finger on her current fragrance but it's much more sophisticated.

We both pull away from each other slowly. Her hands slide over my waist and then to her sides while I slide mine down her arms and then let her go.

"I'm so sorry Anna" I tell her. "For saying then and now that you killed our child."

"Didn't I?"

"We both know that it's not that simple" I tell her. "You're right. For all you knew about me, I was a rich, careless jock who fucked every girl I saw. You had no reason to know anything differently about me. When you add in your Christian and political parents, it makes sense that you would feel alone and without options."

"Ok" she says. "And I should have realized that you wouldn't be like that rich, careless jock who fucks every girl he can. Lauren always said what a great guy you were and that she considered you a big brother given how many years you lived with the Lemieuxs."

"I guess we both screwed it up, didn't we?" I say ruefully.

"Yeah" she agrees.

There's one more thing that I have to know so that I can even hope to put everything behind me.

"Do you love him Anna? Does he love you and treat you like you deserve?"

Anna looks surprised by my questions.

"Um, yes, we love each other" she tells me.

I sense something in her tone though that doesn't quite ring completely true.

"But?" I ask to encourage her to keep talking.

"But" she says softly so that I really have to listen carefully to hear her. "It doesn't begin to compare with the love I had for you."

My heart literally skips a beat at her words. What does that mean? What is she really saying?

"You do love him?" I ask.

"Yes I do. To answer your other question, yes, he treats me very well. We're a team in both our personal and professional lives, working and living as equals."

"That's good. I'm happy for you."

We stand about three feet from each other. It's strange because it feels like the distance is an inch and a mile at the same time. I've never felt closer and farther apart from her since we broke up.

"I don't know what to do now" she says.

"Neither do I" I reply.

Anna looks at her watch and says "wow, it's late. I need to call a cab to get back to my hotel."

"I'll drive you" I say, pick up her coat and hold it for her.

When her coat is on, and secretly I breathe in her heady fragrance again, we leave the room and walk the familiar route to the elevator.

On the way to my car, Anna asks me about the Cup win last season and how it felt to also win the Conn Smythe, which Geno won for our first Cup. The conversation is easy all the way to her hotel. I pull up and stop for her to get out. The concierge opens her door and she turns to me before getting out.

Anna smiles widely and I reminiscently see my girl in her grin.

"I'm glad we got to talk" she says. "I'll be in town a couple of more times over the next two weeks. I would love to see you again and maybe the Dupuis too."

"That sounds great" I tell her. "I'm glad we had a chance to talk too."

"Ok then, I'll text my travel details when they are firm" she replies and then leans over and kisses my cheek. "Bye."

The concierge shuts the door and I smell her fragrance wash over me and feel my cheek tingle where she kissed me. Before I realize it, deep, painful regret squeezes my heart and I wonder if I even have the right to wonder if it's too late for us.


	34. Chapter 34

Anna

"You look" Matt begins and then looks me up and down again. "Wow Anna, just absolutely wow."

I run my hands down my sides and reply "are you sure that it's not too much? It's more revealing than I usually wear."

"That's why I like it" he replies and pulls me to him.

I feel his lips on my bare shoulder and then he kisses up my neck and under my ear. I shiver when he breathes in deeply.

"And you smell just as good" he tells me. "I'm going to be distracted all night thinking about the many ways I'm going to peel this dress off of you later."

"You forget" I say on a moan. "I'm on a plane directly after the event. Back to Pittsburgh for the next two days."

"Do you know how long it's been?" he asks me.

I don't need to ask what he means. We are barely alone these days and when we are then we fall into an exhaustive sleep. It's down to the last ten days of the election and we're both working eighteen hour days sometimes together and sometimes apart. It barely leaves time to have a conversation never mind make love.

"I know exactly how long it's been" I tell him.

I slide my hands up his hard chest and don't stop until I can cup his cheeks. I know we're running late but I take a few precious seconds to kiss Matt. He quickly takes the kiss deeper and all thoughts of shaking hands, winning elections, and anything else drops out of my head.

"Ahem" I hear and Matt and I pull apart. "Sorry guys but we really need to go."

I turn and see Chris standing there, embarrassed but firm that we need to leave.

"You really have bad timing" Matt tells him and kisses me softly before we leave the room hand in hand.

As we drive to the venue, Chris runs through all of the people we'll be meeting and provides some biography and personal details so we have something to talk with them about. We'll meet 'dignitaries' together and then we'll separate so that we can cover more ground. I'm having trouble concentrating because Matt is tracing a pattern in my palm with his finger.

My phone rings and it's my mother. I want to ignore it because we are so close to the venue but my father has been failing and my mother has needed the extra support at all hours of the day. Matt squeezes my hand in support when he sees that it's my mother calling.

"Hi mother" I answer the call.

"Oh Annabelle" is all she says and then breaks down sobbing.

Instantly I know. My father has died. Oh daddy.

Matt's hand tightens in mine for a moment before he releases it and puts his arm around me. With his other hand, he gestures to Chris to stop talking.

"Mother?" I say.

Her sobs slow and then I hear her blow her nose. It's loud and indelicate telling me how much she's upset. She's usually the epitome of the southern lady.

"Mother?" I ask.

"I'm sorry Annabelle" she sniffs once more. "Your father passed about fifteen minutes ago."

I've known that this moment was coming for over a year. I've spent more time with my father in that time than I have in years and they were wonderful and very special. He's lived longer than any specialist told us that he could. No matter how much I expected it or prepared for it, the feeling of a knife stabbing repeatedly into my heart takes me by surprise and reminds me that you can't prepare for the death of a parent.

"Oh mother" is all I can say. I take a deep breath. "Are you ok?"

"I was sitting beside his bed, reading to him, and he fell asleep. I kept reading because it gives me comfort to read out loud to him and, shortly after, he breathed his last."

"But are you ok mother?"

She sniffs.

"I'm going to be fine" she tells me.

Those five words tell me that she doesn't want to discuss it right now so I follow her lead.

"Ok mother" I tell her. "Let me talk to the team and I'll organize my trip. Hopefully I can be there this evening."

"You have an event tonight, don't you? It's at the home of the Consol Energy president, right?"

I shouldn't be surprised that she knows the schedule. She follows the campaign as closely as my father does. Oh God, did.

"Mother, I'm not going to the event."

"You must! This is very important. We will keep things quiet here so as to not eat into the news cycle."

Did I really just hear my mother tell me that she will hide my father's death until after the media had reported on the campaign event?

"Oh mother, no."

"Ask her to hold on" Matt whispers to me.

"Hold for a moment mother" I tell her and then put the phone on mute.

"What is she saying?" Matt asks.

"That she won't tell anyone father died until after our event so that we can own the news cycle" I tell him bitterly.

"You know this is just her way of coping Anna" he tells me softly. "It's all she knows."

"You agree with her?" I ask, stunned.

"Of course not" he says. "Regardless of what she says and what's happening, you are getting on the first plane down to South Carolina. Fuck this event."

Matt looks at Chris who is looking at his phone.

"Chris?" Matt asks.

"If we go directly to the airport then we can get you on a plane. There will be a two hour drive from the airport but you'll get there tonight" Chris tells us.

"Go" Matt says.

Before I can say anything, Chris has told the drive to change the destination to the airport. Next Chris calls one of the interns and asks her to go to the hotel and pack my things quickly. They should get to the airport for me.

I give both Matt and Chris a watery smile and then unmute my phone.

"Mother" I begin. "I have a seat on a flight tonight and will be there shortly after midnight."

"Annabelle …"

"Mother don't" I interrupt her. "There is no way that I'm going to a political event after I've heard that my father has died. Ok?"

"Ok" she agrees softly.

I hand my phone to Chris so that he can give her the details of my travel and then I turn to Matt.

"Oh baby" he says and pulls me close to kiss my forehead. "I'm so sorry."

I go into his arms and absorb the comfort I find there. I'm going to need all of this comfort and strength to get through the next few days.

"We'll cut the night short but I still don't think that I'll get out tonight. I'll book a flight first thing in the morning."

"Matt, you have two important meetings in the morning. There's nothing that you can do before the funeral."

"I can be there for you" he says forcefully. "And I will be there for you."

I look at Matt and can tell that he's made up his mind. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I'll feel better if he's with me.

"Thank you" I say and kiss him.

He pulls me so that I can rest my cheek on his chest where I remain for the rest of the ride to the airport. When we arrive, Chris gets out of the car but Matt and I stay.

"It's going to be a circus" I tell him. "My mother is usually her own carnival but adding the media, politicians and dignitaries will make it a full circus you know."

"Yeah, I know" Matt says. "That's just one of the reasons that I'm going to be there tomorrow morning."

"At least the funeral is planned and just needs to be put in motion. I'm really hoping we can have it quickly and then" I stop talking.

"Anna, don't think beyond what's right in front of you and definitely don't think about the campaign. The next couple of days is for you and family. You've known your father was dying but you still need to grieve. I don't care about anything but you right now, ok? When I get on that plane in the morning, everything about the campaign goes away and Chris can worry about it. We're all that's important."

I look up and stroke his cheek. He truly is a wonderful man.

"How did I get so lucky?" I say and try to smile.

"We're both lucky" he says and kisses me softly.

The door opens and we pull apart.

"Ok" Chris begins as he leans in. "We have your ticket. You and your bag are checked in and the flight leaves in forty five minutes."

"Thank you Chris" I say.

"You're very welcome" he replies. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

I give him a grateful smile. When he steps back, both Matt and I get out of the care and walk together into the terminal. When we arrive at security, Chris gives me my ticket and then gives Matt and me a few moments alone.

"I really wish I could come with you right now" Matt says as he hugs me close.

"It's too late to fully cancel the event" I tell him. "Plus, there's really nothing for you to do tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

"I know but I still wish that I could be there with you."

I pull back and kiss him softly, slowly, drawing strength from him.

"Ok, I have to go" I tell him.

"Ok" he pulls back. "Text as soon as you land and then when you get there, ok?"

"Ok" I agree. "I love you."

"I love you" he says.

The next six hours are a blur of waiting, traveling, waiting some more, and traveling some more, but shortly after midnight, the driver pulls the car onto my family's plantation and then in front of the house. The land originally served as a rice plantation in the 1700's since it's on the north banks of the North Santee River. It stopped being a working plantation in my grandparent's generation. As an only child, the home was left exclusively to my mother and I came to love it when we spent a lot of summers here growing up.

The house is lit up which tells me that my mother waited up for me. I'm no sooner in the door then my mother envelopes me in her arms and holds on tight. I hug her close and we cling to each other.

Eventually we each pull back and I look at my mother. She's very pale and I can tell that she's lost even more weight than I last saw her. For the first time in my life, my mother looks frail and no matter what has happened in the past, I know that we'll both be here to comfort each other.

"Hi mama" I say through the tears.

"Oh my baby" she says and hugs me tight again.

When she pulls back, she looks at front door and sees the driver standing there with my bags.

"I'm so very sorry. Where are my manners?" she tells him. "Do you need a signature?"

"No ma'am" he tells her. "I wanted to convey my condolences to you on the passing of Governor Stanton."

With a nod, he puts down bags and shuts the front door as he leaves.

"Come, you must be exhausted" my mother says as she pulls me to the stairs. "I had your old room made up for you and Leonard is taking your bags up."

I look up the stairs and sure enough the butler, Leonard, is half way up with my bags. My mother and I follow him. When we get in front of the room, we pause.

"Would you like me to unpack for you?" Leonard asks me.

"No, thank you" I reply.

"Is there anything else you need Miss Stanton?" he asks.

"No, thank you so very much" I reply.

My mother and I go into my room. I continue into the adjoining bathroom to pee after a long drive. When I'm finished and enter back into my bedroom, my mother is unpacking for me. I'm not surprised. She likes to keep busy.

"Mother, I can do that" I tell her.

"I'm almost finished" she tells me.

"Is daddy, um" I can't bring myself to ask.

"The coroner was here and they've taken him to the funeral home" she confirms.

"Ok" I reply. "Matt will be coming in the morning."

"He has so many things on the go right now. He can wait and come to the funeral."

"He wants to be here mother."

"He is such a good man. He'll make a wonderful Governor."

"He says that he's learned from watching the best."

"Your father was the best, wasn't he? He desperately wanted to see Matthew win the election."

She finishes putting the last of my clothes into the drawer and then turns back to me.

"You'll want to get some rest" she tells me.

"Do you need anything?" I ask her.

"I'm so happy that you are here. Your sister will be here tomorrow and then I have everything I need."

Oh yay, my sister is coming tomorrow.

"Ok, goodnight" I kiss her cheek and she leaves the room.

I text Matt to see if he's available and he says to give him a couple of minutes so I get ready for bed. I have just climbed into bed when I hear Skype ringing so I slide down to my pillow and answer the call.

"Hi babe" Matt says as his face fills the screen.

He's lying in bed too.

"Hi" I say and smile for the first time in hours.

"You know when I said that I wanted to take you to bed tonight, this wasn't exactly what I meant" he says.

"Me either" I agree.

"How are you?" he asks.

"I'm ok. Really tired but ok."

"How about your mother?"

"She's holding together but the strain is showing. My sister will be here tomorrow so she's looking forward to having both of her daughters together again."

"Play nice" he teases.

"Of course I will. Besides, you'll be here for my sister to flirt with and that will keep her busy."

"Don't you dare leave me alone with her" he warns.

"Ok, I'll save you, don't worry" I tell him. "Tell me about the event"

"Chris was very happy."

"It takes a lot for Chris to be happy so it went very well."

"It was actually ok. A few snobs as you'd expect with this group but the Lemieuxs were there. That Nathalie is very sweet."

"Yeah, Sid said that she was great to live with. She treated him like one of the kids" I tell him.

"She must be superwoman having four kids to raise and Sid and Mario playing hockey" he pauses for a moment. "I should arrive before lunch tomorrow. Chris has requested that he come too. He would come to the funeral anyway but he'd like to come early and help manage the media for your family too."

"I know he wants to stay close to you so he can continue to manage the campaign and be close to his candidate" I say. "But, it's very kind of him to offer to assist us too. Since my father resigned, there is no one to help with those types of things. He's a really good guy."

"He is but I still wouldn't want to cross him."

"Oh God, yeah, me neither."

We both chuckle. I watch Matt switch off the bedside light and lie down on the pillow. His face is illuminated by the screen light. I do the same and prop the phone on the pillow beside mine where Matt usually sleeps.

"Does your mother know that I'm sleeping in that bed with you this time?" he asks.

I remember the last time we visited my parents and my mother insisted that Matt and I sleep in different rooms. I wanted to argue more but Matt said we should respect her wishes in her home. I guess he doesn't think that anymore.

"I can agree with that" I tell him.

He looks so tired, even more than when I left him earlier this evening. I'm hoping we can have a very long nap when this election is over.

"You need sleep" he tells me.

"So do you."

Neither of us moves.

"Ok, really, we both need sleep. I'll see you in the morning. I love you" he tells me.

"Love you too" I reply and turn off the phone.

I snuggle down into the blanket and pillow and don't even remember falling asleep.

Sidney

I park the car and walk up to Duper's front door. He answers it after only a few moments.

"Hey Sid" he says and backs up for me to enter the house.

I take off my jacket and follow Duper to the kitchen. Instead of Carole-Lyn and the kids, sitting at the kitchen table is Tanger and Flower each with a beer.

"What's this?" I ask the group at large. "The French mafia?"

The guys chuckle and Duper hands me a beer before sitting down too.

"I like that" Flower says and takes a drink of his beer. "The French mafia."

"Seriously guys, what's going on?" I ask. "Is this an intervention?"

"Yes" Duper says. "Yes, it is."

Now I'm even more confused.

"What do I need an intervention for?" I ask.

The guys all exchange looks and then look back at me.

"Each of us has tried to talk to you individually" Tanger begins. "We didn't want to push and we all hoped you spoken with someone."

"Talked about what?" I ask confused.

"It used to be that we could divide your career into pre-concussion Sid and post-concussion Sid. Before, you were single mindedly focused on hockey to the exclusion of everything else. After the concussion, you still put your all into hockey, and played better than ever, but you started living too" Duper says.

"Okay" I say.

"Now we have a new measurement" he says.

"Pre-Anna and Post-Anna" Flower says.

What! Huh?

"Sid, you have to have noticed that after Anna left you went back to the single minded focus on hockey. You didn't come to Montreal this summer" Duper says.

"Or Alex's birthday party" from Tanger.

"Or even to California to train" Flower agrees.

"You play, practice and train" Duper says. "Then you become a hermit at home, whether it's here in Pittsburgh or in Cole Harbour."

Holy shit, it is an intervention.

"You've stopped living Sid" Flower tells me. "You're only, comment dites-vous?"

"Existing?" Tanger fills in.

"Yes" Flower agrees. "Existing. You're only existing."

I want to argue but I'm seeing the truth in the eyes of my friends reflecting back at me. Even though I've managed to ignore how I've changed since Anna, I can't possible ignore it any longer. Have I really missed birthdays, spending time with family and friends, and everything that doesn't involve hockey? I guess so. Even for my day with the Cup this summer, all of the time was spent at public events and sharing the Cup with strangers. The first time we won, I had a huge party for family and friends. This time I did nothing with family and friends. God, I didn't even realize it.

"We don't know what happened between you and Anna, and you don't have to tell us" Tanger quickly adds. "But you do need to come back to the living. You have to let us help you come back to the living."

"Look at it this way Sid" Duper says. "It's starting to impact the team. You aren't the same guy you used to be and the guys notice it. You're playing as well as ever but you know that's only part of what you bring to this team."

I look at the guys around the table. They're more than team mates, more than friends even. These guys have become my brothers. We've won together, lost together, been through concussions, strokes, broken bones and blood clots together. If I can't trust them, then I can't trust anyone.

"The baby was mine" I say softly and stare down at my beer.

I can't look at my friends right now. I don't know what they might think about it but I really can't look at them as I pour out my biggest secret.

There's nothing but silence for a very long time; or, at least it feels like a very long time.

"But she said that it happened years before when she was a teenage" Flower says softly.

"What?" I ask.

"In the interview she gave with her parents, after the news about it broke, she said that it happened years ago when she was a teenager. You just met her that season."

I look up and finally look at them. Their faces show a mix of surprise and empathy.

"We hooked up at Beau's end of season party that spring after the Rangers took us down when we had that 3-0 lead in the series. Anyway, I didn't even remember I was so fucking drunk that night. She got pregnant, had an abortion and the rest is history. I only found out when it was made public. I was stunned that she could do that to me and told her so, in a not very nice way. We didn't talk for two years until that fundraiser at Mario's a week ago."

"Oh" is all Tanger says and the others are silent again.

"What bothered you kid?" Duper asks me. "I mean it's just us guys here so you don't need to worry about saying the 'right' thing. I know that you're family is Catholic."

"At first, that's what I thought was bothering me. She killed our child" I tell them and watch the guys nod.

Duper's right. I'm glad that there isn't a woman here. It's a woman's body and it's her right, legally and otherwise, to decide if she is going to have an abortion; but, it's more complicated than that for me. It was the child I made with the woman I love. It's not nearly that simple.

"Anyway, when I was finally able to think clearly, I realized that I completely understood her point of view and the position she was in when it happened. If I was in her shoes, I most likely would have done the same thing." I pause and take a swig of my beer. "It wasn't the abortion. It was the lying. After we had started a relationship, said that we loved each other, and she didn't tell me she aborted our child. That wasn't the first time that she hadn't been honest with me. It was kind of a problem that we were working through."

I look at the guys and know that they understand what I'm saying. That's when I realized that they are all fathers. Tanger's wife is even pregnant right now with their second child. If anyone is going to understand, these guys will and I know that there will be no judgement here.

"Anyway, now it's too late" I tell them. "She's engaged and part of this political power couple. She's so fucking different but I can still see the same girl inside sometimes. When we talked last week, it felt like years since we spoke and yet like no time had gone by."

"You still love her" Duper says softly.

I seek his eyes and shake my head.

"It's too late Dupe" I tell him.

"That's not a no" Tanger says.

"I don't even know her any more" I tell them.

"Still not a no" Flower says.

"She's engage and has a brand new life" I tell them.

"Still not a no Sid" Duper says.

"It's too late" I tell them.

They stare back at me.

"What?" I ask.

Slowly, they each start smiling at me. Occasionally, they glance at each other but their grins all grow.

"Seriously, I'm getting pissed guys, what?"

Finally, it's Duper who says "we're going to help you get her back."

The three of them chuckle and start talking in French. It's too fast, and they seem to be talking all at once, for me to follow most of it.

"Guys" I shout over the din. "I appreciate it, I love you for it, but you're forgetting something. She is engaged and has started a new life. Matt is a good guy too. I'd love to hate him, and trust me I've tried, but he treats her well and loves her. When we talked the night of the casino for the first time since that night. I mean really talked about everything that happened, it gave me some closure. It probably did the same for her too. I won't disrupt her world when she's clearly happy with her choice."

The guys quiet because they know that I'm right.

"Did she really have a choice Sid? It doesn't sound that way" Tanger asks. "If really had a choice and knew that you love her, are you sure that she would choose Matt?"

"I've fucked it up Tanger. It's really fucked up and beyond salvaging. Besides, it would be selfish for me break up her happiness now."

"Maybe Tanger's right Sid" Flower says. "I know what you mean about not wanting to hurt her if she's really happy but what if she started with this guy because she didn't know that you still love her. Maybe she settled for a good guy instead of the right guy."

"Fuck" Duper says. "We sound like that tele novella the nanny watches."

That breaks the tension and we all laugh again.

"Look" Duper continues. "It's something for you to consider kid. Think about it this way: will you regret it if you don't? Life is too short."

Duper's words echo in my head an hour later as we eat the chilli that Carole-Lyn left for us. Then the girls come back with the kids and chaos ensues. There are kids running everywhere and I lose track of how many climb on top of me.

"Horsy, horsy" Lola says to me so I pull her onto my back and run her around.

"Hey, the season's starting in a week Lo, don't hurt our captain!" Duper yells to us.

The families need to get home and I take the opportunity to leave too. As I do, Carole-Lyn pulls me aside.

"Sid, you need to listen to your heart" she whispers.

I'm unable to ask her anything because Vero calls for her and the quiet moment is over.

As I drive home, my phone rings and it's Mario.

"Hi Mario" I answer the call.

"Hi Sid, I just heard and thought you'd want to know. Governor Stanton died yesterday."

My first thought is of Anna. This must be so difficult for her and I immediately want to call her, check in and see if I can do anything. I have to remind myself that it's not my role anymore.

"Sid?"

"Sorry Mario, I'm still here."

"Nathalie and I are flying down tomorrow morning for the funeral and then we're flying directly back. They're having the funeral at the family's estate in Charleston so I've charted a plane and it can drop us at a private airport only five minutes away from the house."

I don't know how to ask if I can go with them. We have a scheduled day off tomorrow so I won't be missing anything with the team.

"Do you want to come with us?" Mario says and saves me from asking.

I go with my heart, thinking about Carole-Lyn's words, and say "yes, I would."

"Great, I'll have Nathalie email you all of the details and we'll meet you at the airport."

We say goodbye and I continue the short drive home.

Even when I'm settled with a drink in front of the TV watching the Pirate's first playoff game, I have trouble focusing on the game. My mind replays the conversation with the guys this afternoon. Over and over I think about Tanger's question:

 _'If she knew that she had a choice, are you sure that she would choose Matt?'_

But she's already made her choice and seems very happy with it. What right do I have to screw that up for her? The problem is that Carole-Lyn's' words run through my mind over and over too.

 _'You need to listen to your heart.'_

I love her. I may be confused about a lot but my heart knows that I still love her.

Ok, at least I've admitted it to myself. I still love her and can't see a future without her. Now what?

I physically give my head a shake as if I could stop my mind from whirling with that one movement. The only thing that I know I have to do is be at the funeral tomorrow. She needs to know that I'm thinking about her and that I care. I'm brought out of my contemplation when my phone rings. It's my mom.

"Hi mom."

"Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you guys doing?"

"We're good too. Your sister was just named the goalie of the month."

"Wow, go Tay."

"Yeah, she's excited. Anyway, I heard that Anna's father died."

"Yes, he passed away yesterday."

"Are you going to the funeral?"

I'm not surprised by my mother's question. She's never asked me about the break up with Anna but I know that both mom and dad loved her.

"Actually, I am. I'm going with Mario and Nathalie."

"I'm glad sweetie. No matter what happened between you, Anna needs all those who love her around during this difficult time."

Even my mother knows that I still love Anna. Mom sees everything so I shouldn't be surprised.

"Well, I'm going down for the day. It's fortunate that we have a scheduled day off."

"You'd go anyway" mom tells me.

She's right of course. I would have figured out how to be there even if we didn't have the day off.

"Give her our condolences and love Sidney."

"Will do mom. Love you."

"Love you too sweetie."

I disconnect the phone and stare at it for an unknown amount of time. I just can't seem to move. My mind keeps playing over that last moment with Anna two years ago. The pain slices at my heart over and over with that very moment when I find out that the child was mine. All of the times when she lied to me or didn't tell me the whole truth amplifies that pain.

But it's different this time because these memories are quickly chased away by thoughts of being trapped in the elevator and our first long talk, making love with her over and over, hearing her say 'I love you.' Was it only four months that we were together? I guess the length of time matters less than the amount of love you share. Fuck, I do sound like a tele novella.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I hit redial.

"Sidney?" mom answers the phone.

"Mom, I still love Anna and want her back. The guys held and intervention today and told me that I need to tell Anna how I feel. Carole-Lyn said that I should follow my heart. I'm unsure because she seems so happy, not to mention that she's engaged to a good guy, and it's been two years. What do I do?" I stop talking and wait. I wait for a while before asking "mom, are you there?"

"I'm here sweetie, just processing everything."

"Ok" I reply.

"First, I understand your reticence to talk to her now when her life seems settled and happy. I get it sweetie. It's not an easy decision to make. Do you think she still loves you too?"

"I have no idea mom. We had a really great talk about everything that's happened the night of the casino. It felt like we made peace with what happened. She could think that she's put it all behind her."

"But you don't know for sure."

"No" I admit.

"Tell me how you feel about her."

"She's the first and only girl I've loved mom. I thought that I was in love before but every other relationship seems childish and trivial compared to how I felt, feel, about Anna. She's smart as hell, sweet and kind, loving. She gets me. There aren't a lot of people who I let in like that and she definitely got in and has apparently stayed."

"Do you see a future with her? Children?"

"Yes" I say immediately.

"Think about Carole-Lyn's comment. What does your heart tell you to do?" I think about the question. "Don't think about it Sidney. How do you feel? What's in your heart?"

"I love her."

"Then you need to tell her." She says. "Not tomorrow of course but you should, soon. Be honest and candid with her and then it's her decision. If she's happy in her new life and has put your relationship behind her then she'll tell you. But, if she still loves you, then this is her opportunity to tell you. Every time that you've succeeded in anything it was because you took a risk, worked hard and did your honest best."

I'm quiet for a few moments processing my mother's words. She's always been my morale compass and has guided me in the right direction every time. If she thinks that I should do it …

"Ok mom" I agree. "She'll be coming to Pittsburgh in another week, a few days before the election, so I'll meet with her and we'll talk.

"Good sweetie. I'm proud of you and love you so much."

"I love you too mom. Thanks."

I disconnect again but feel much better than earlier. The decision is made and I'm going to tell Anna how I feel. A weight lifts off of my chest and I instantly feel lighter, freer, than I have in two years.

With a smile on my face, I turn off the TV and go to my bedroom. I get ready for bed and then set the alarm so that I get up in time to meet the Lemieuxs at the plane.

With the new lightness, I easily fall into a restful and deep sleep.

I wake to my alarm feeling better than I have in the past two years. I'm in love and, even if Anna is still engaged and might not feel the same, the clarity allows me to brush off all of the pain that I've been carrying. The past is just that, the past, and the only thing I can change is the future. Today is the beginning. Today is going to be a very difficult day for Anna and I need her to know that I care. The rest is for later.

I drink my breakfast shake while I go through my morning routine. It doesn't take me long to get ready, be out the door and then I'm quickly at the airport. Mario and Nathalie arrive shortly after I do.

"You look so nice" Nathalie says as she gives me a hug and straightens my tie.

Mario and I shake hands and then we all go to the chartered plane waiting outside of the small private terminal. We're on the plane and in the air quickly. Since it's a small plane, it's very loud which precludes having a conversation so I do what I do best on planes; I fall asleep.

The change in the speed and sound of the plane wakes me. When I look out the window, I see that we've started our descent. We're quickly on the ground and departing the plane where a car is waiting for us.

"That's better" Nathalie says as the car doors close. "Those planes are more convenient but they are very noisy."

Mario and I chuckle as we all settle back and the driver starts the car.

"I imagine the funeral is going to be large. We had to give them our names and social security numbers so that we were cleared through security" Nathalie says.

"Really?" I ask.

"There are going to be senators, governors, congressmen, lots of people who need security" Mario says.

"Oh" I reply.

I keep forgetting that Anna's father was the Governor which means there will be lots of politicians at the funeral. As a recent presidential nominee, that amps up the number and governmental levels of the attendees.

"Apparently the president wanted to be here but he's currently in Africa. The vice-president will be here in his place" Nathalie.

Wow.

The car slows down and I notice that there is a long line of limos and SUVs, all with black-out windows, in line to go through security. When it's our turn, the driver talks to the guard with the clipboard and then lowers the back window.

"May I see some ID" the guard says into the window.

He checks all of our IDs against his list and then tells us to go ahead. There's another line of cars up to the side of the massive house. I can see white chairs set up in rows peeking out behind the house but most of the area is obscured by the house itself.

It's finally our turn to leave the car and we join another line on the walkway up the side of the house.

"This is quite a production" Nathalie whispers.

When we finally get to the back of the house, I see that we're in a receiving line to give our condolences to the family. I don't see Anna until we get closer.

She's dressed in a black suit with an American flag pin. She hugs the person in front of her and I watch her mouth 'thank you'. When he moves on, I see that Matt is standing beside Anna. I guess it makes sense that he's with her. He is going to be part of their family when they marry. Part of me is glad that she has someone standing by here because her sister and mother won't be useful. Another part of me knows that I should be the one beside her.

I'm surprised when her eyes find mine. At first she seems surprised to see me but then her eyes fill and she gives me a watery smile. I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. My attention is diverted when it's my turn to speak with Mrs. Stanton.

I don't know what I expected, but Mrs. Stanton is friendly, thanks me for coming and expresses her appreciation for my condolences. Next, I get to meet Anna's sister for the first time. She is exactly what I expected; a mini-me of Mrs. Stanton only she hugs me and holds on a little too long for comfort. I would swear that she's flirting if I wasn't at her father's funeral. I excuse myself as quickly as I can politely which moves me on to Anna.

"Anna" I say and the rest of my words leave me.

I follow Carole-Lyn's advice and hug Anna. She slides her arms around me, hugs me close and sighs. I remember Matt standing beside her and take a step back.

"How are you holding up?" I ask her.

"Getting through it" she replies softly. She backs up a step and says, louder, "you remember Matt?"

I turn to Matt and hold out my hand.

"Nice to see you Matt" I say. "My condolences."

"Thank you" he says and shakes my hand. "It's good to see you too."

I'm cognizant of the long line behind me so I move on.

When we're through the line, I follow Mario and Nathalie to a tent that has been set up with small tables and chairs, a long bar and servers walking around with food drinks. I don't know that I've ever seen a catered funeral before. Maybe a buffet back at the church's hall after the funeral; but, there's Champaign in crystal flutes and tiny pastries filled with unknown stuffing.

A server stops and offers us wine which Mario and Nathalie take. I ask if they have water and the server goes off to find me some. I do eat some of the food being passed around. It doesn't enlighten me as to what the stuffing is but they're all good.

That's all the time we have to ourselves because both Mario and I are quickly surrounded by people who want to talk hockey. It's a fucking funeral and people want autographs and pictures. We both do it because it's preferable to causing a scene.

The lights in the tent flash which apparently is the signal that we should all take our seats. This is seriously surreal. I've never experienced a funeral like this in my entire life but I follow along and we find our seats. There is a make-shift 'alter' set up in front of hundreds of white folding chairs with an aisle up the middle. It's a huge outdoor church.

Shortly after everyone is seated, I watch a bunch of guys in suits and sunglasses come into the area and stand around the perimeter. There are a lot of them. Soon after, the vice-president walks in with his wife and takes a seat in the front row.

"If you'll please stand" a voice says over the speakers and everyone does.

The priest walks up the aisle first with some alter boys – or whatever they call them in a southern non-denominational church – followed by the casket with pallbearers and then Mrs. Stanton and Anna's sister and then Anna and Matt. The family and pallbearers sit in the front row at the other side of the aisle from the vice president. Everyone sits down and the priest or reverend begins the funeral.

As the funeral progresses, I get bored and start looking at people. I recognize a few politicians and a few other people who I've seen at Mario and Nathalie's house for fundraisers. My attention is drawn back to the proceedings when the priest, reverend, whatever, introduces the vice president.

He provides greetings and condolences on behalf of the president and then delivers a surprise eulogy. I didn't realize that he knew the governor and his family so well since the current administration is democratic and the governor was republican. He provides amusing anecdotes, talks about the arguments they used to have and shares the Governor's great accomplishments.

When the funeral is over, everyone is invited to stay for lunch. Most of the politicians, including the vice president leave, so that there's about half of us left. Mario and Nathalie are talking to a couple across the room and I stand on the edge of the funeral area and look over the beautiful land.

"It's gorgeous isn't it?"

I turn and see Matt standing beside me looking over the pasture too.

"It really is. I love being in nature like this, when you can't see anything man made as far as you can see."

"You have a place on the water, right?" he asks me.

"Yes, in Nova Scotia. I have a house on a lake where there is great fishing and I can forget about everything but the quiet."

"It was really great of you to come today. Anna really appreciated it, as do I. We didn't think that you would be able to come since you're in training camp."

It really grates at me when he says 'we.'

"Fortunately we had a scheduled day off today so I hitched a ride with Mario and Nathalie" I reply. I desperately want to change the subject so I ask "how is the election going? I hear that you're ahead in the polls."

"Yeah, that's what my team tells me. I really wish that the Governor was able to hang on until election day. Even when he was feeling his worst, he still watched the news and read reporting on the election. When he couldn't read himself, Mrs. Stanton would read the newspapers to him. She would only read articles positive about my campaign because the Governor would get agitate whenever they said anything negative."

I don't know what to say to that or how to respond. Given my thoughts the last two days about Anna, I'm feeling incredibly guilty talking with Matt like I'm not going to try and steal his girl. He's a good guy who clearly loves Anna and cares about her family. He even knows more about them then I do.

"Excuse me" Matt and I both look over as Anna speaks to us.

"Hi" Matt says and kisses her cheek.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Congressman Adler is looking for you" she says.

"Ok, even at a funeral I guess duty calls" Matt says. "It was good to see you Sid."

"You too" I say and shake his hand.

Anna and I are left alone and I feel tongue tied. It's like I don't even know how to talk to her anymore so I go with the obvious.

"How are you really?" I ask.

She gives me a smile.

"Ok, I guess" she tells me. "My sister has been a basket case so everyone needs to take care of her. My mother has gone into uber-southern mode where everything is wonderful and she never sits down or stops talking."

"Which leaves you to take care of everything else" I say.

"Yeah" she replies. "I told Matt not to come down yesterday and to wait until the funeral. I'm so glad that he didn't listen to me. He's been able to take care of some of the craziness so I didn't have to, and by craziness, I mean my sister.

I chuckle but don't know what else to say. I know what I want to say but this is not the right time.

"When are you back in Pittsburgh?" I ask.

"Um, I think in two or three days."

"Do you want to have dinner while you're in town? Maybe if you're too busy we could just grab a drink."

Anna looks surprised at my question but smiles and says "I'd like that Sid."

I know that I'm smiling widely but I can't help it.

"Great, let me know when you're free."

"I will" she says. "My mother is waving me over. Oh boy, she's grinning. That can't be good." She gives me a quick hug and says "thank you so much for coming. It means a lot."

"You're welcome. I'll see you soon."

Then she is gone with only a whiff of her perfume left behind. Oh God, in a couple of days I'm going to tell Anna that I still love her. Or maybe I won't, the guilt of talking with Matt begins to eat at me. Fuck. At least I have a few days to figure it out.


	35. Chapter 35

Anna

I shouldn't be here. I absolutely know that I shouldn't be here. I look around and also know that I didn't have a choice. No matter how happy I am, how committed I am to Matt, even how much I love him, it feels like I've always been on a path back to Sidney.

It's midnight and I should be in my hotel room. I'm in Pittsburgh for the campaign and it's a very busy two days. Sid and I are supposed to meet for breakfast in the morning and yet here I am. He hasn't changed his gate code so I'm able to drive up. Standing at his front door, I've never felt so unsure and yet so confident in my life. I ring the bell before I can change my mind.

It takes a few moments but I see the glow of a light spill down the stairs. The stairs light up and then I watch Sid climb down the stairs in his shorts and pulling on a tee shirt. When he gets to the door, he turns on the outside light and peers through the door. He must recognize me immediately because the door unlocks and opens. Sid looks dishevelled and surprised.

"Is everything ok Anna? Come in" he moves back to let me in.

Sid shuts the door and then moves deeper into the hallway.

"Anna?"

"Yes, sorry. I'm ok" I tell him. Suddenly I don't know what to say or even why I'm really here. "I'm not sure why I'm here."

Sid smiles.

"Obviously you came for some reason" he says. "Let me take your coat. Come in."

I pull my coat off and hand it to Sid. He hangs it up while I take off my boots. When I straighten up, Sid is standing close and I can't speak. I can feel that electricity or connection that we've always had between us. It crackles and sparks. Sid feels it too. His lips have parted, his tongue slips out and slides over this full, now wet, lips.

I pull my gaze from his lips up to his eyes. They are wide and staring at me with a heat that brings back delicious memories. I've been thinking about him a lot since our talk at Consol. It's become an obsession. Our last talk should have created closure on our relationship. I should be able to move on and focus on the future; but, instead, I think about Sid all the time and usually exactly like he is now. Hair messed up from his pillow, eyes dark and hot, muscles straining against his tee shirt and, oh my, other areas straining against his shorts.

I lick my lips and watch Sid's gaze look down at them. It's uncertain who moved first but in an instant I'm in his arms and feasting on his lips. Sid pushes me up against the wall with his body. His large, hard leg pushes mine apart and I grind against him to get some relief. It's not nearly enough.

Sid's lips leave mine and travel over my cheek, chin and down my throat. I gasp and cry out as his teeth sink into the sensitive skin at my clavicle. His hands slide down my body and cup my hips. Sid's body slides down mine as his lips follow his hands. He pulls my shirt out of my skirt and kisses my stomach which I feel quiver in response. My skirt bunches at my waist when Sid's hands push it up and he wastes no time pulling down my panties and sliding two fingers in side of me.

I cry out, the pleasure is immediate and overwhelming, instinctively I push my hips into his hand seeking more. I've tried to forget this feeling. For years I've tried to forget what Sid can do to my body, how I respond to him with wild abandon and the need that claws inside of me for the release only Sidney can bring. If I wasn't overwhelmed by the pleasure then I'd be embarrassed by how quickly I succumb to his touch.

My hips gyrate and push as his fingers encircle my entrance and pump in and out. He works me until I'm breathless and begging. I'm only able to stand because I'm resting my hands on his shoulders and he's holding me up at my hips with his free hand. I only notice that his lips have moved from my belly when I feel them against my thigh. His teeth nip and his tongue licks while his fingers continue to work me. The sensations are washing over me one after another and I almost lose consciousness. He leaves soft bites all the way to the apex of my legs and I finally do lose control when he slips a third finger inside of me, stretching me wide, and his lips take my clit and suck hard.

"Ahhhh!"

I stare up at the hotel ceiling, breathing heavily, drenched in sweat and wet and sticky between my legs. Oh my God, I had an orgasm in my sleep, dreaming of Sid. Where the hell did that come from? Of course it's natural that I'd be thinking about him since I'm going to see him tomorrow. The clock corrects me. We're meeting today, for a drink, after my evening event.

There's no way that I'm going to get back to sleep now since I'm sweaty, sticky, and my mind is whirling. My alarm is going to go off in two hours anyway so I get up. Maybe working out will help me with whatever demons I need to excise before I see Sid tonight. It couldn't hurt I guess.

I get dressed quickly and head down to the gym. I guess the one great thing about working out at 4am is that the place is empty. I tune the TV into the local news channel and with the closed captioning so that I can listen to my music while I run.

After Sid and I broke up, I became depressed and busy with my father's campaign. Who knew that heartbreak would cause weight loss? Ironically, I finally became thin enough for my mother and sister. To keep it up, I've had to follow a strict diet and run every day. You can have a couple of extra pounds as a governor's daughter but definitely not has a governor's fiancé and especially when you need to project yourselves as a young and vital couple. Matt's only real competition in this election will be applying for Medicare soon he's so old so we want to take advantage of our 'youthful vigor'.

I notice that my picture is on the TV so I take out my ear buds so that I can hear the sound.

"Anna Stanton is in the 'Burgh again talking about her fiancé, and would-be Governor's, education plan. Here is Cheryl Brennan who has been following the campaign."

The image on the screen switches to a reporter standing in front of the elementary school that I was visiting today.

"Thanks Don" Cheryl says. "Anna Stanton is a favourite here in Pittsburgh and she has been seen often visiting our city to stump for the would-be Governor. I followed Ms Stanton today as she visited with a grade two class and read to them during story time."

The reporter continues to speak as they show video of me walking into the school, meeting with teachers and then reading to the children. They even recorded the moment after I finished the story and one little girl gave me a hug before she left for recess. Then the screen changes back to the reporter.

"Yinzers will remember when we first met Anna Stanton as an intern with the Pens dating our captain Sidney Crosby."

She goes on to recount my internship, publically dating Sid including pictures of us out together, and the publicity around the abortion and everything that followed.

"Today, Ms Stanton will be visiting the performing arts school downtown, meeting with a community group focused on inner city youth and a private event this evening at the Lemieux's home. Mario and Nathalie are close friends of the Stanton's as well as the owners of the Pens."

The story changes so I put my ear buds back in and focus on my running. I can't wait for the day when my names isn't mentioned with Sid or that time two years ago. I'm grateful when my alarm chimes and my hour long run is over. I may do it every day but I hate it.

I wipe the sweat off of my face and neck as I walk back to my room. When I walk in, I receive a text from Matt asking if I'm awake so I call him.

"Hi babe" he answers.

"Hi yourself" I reply. "I thought you got in late last night. You are up very early."

"It's the last ten days" he tells me. "Sleep is for the weak."

"Sleep is a requirement to think straight and, oh yeah, live!"

"What are you doing up so early?" he asks.

"I was just working out."

"This early?"

"I woke up and wanted to do something productive so I went for a run. I saw a segment on the school visit yesterday. It was good footage."

"I saw some of it. That little girl hugging you was adorable" he tells me.

"She was very sweet."

"Did they talk about your internship with the Pens?"

I know what he's asking without really asking it. He wants to know if they talked about the abortion and Sid. He worries about me when I come to Pittsburgh because he knows that I still get questions about that time.

"It was in the piece but I didn't get any questions about it so far."

"Good."

"I'm going to Mario and Nathalie's tonight for dinner. They've invited the mayor and a couple of school superintendents."

"I hope it's not too tedious."

"If it wasn't for Mario and Nathalie then it definitely would be" I tell him. "Thankfully they usually invite a few of their friends who are interesting people and won't try to sell me all night on their education ideas."

"Yeah. Keep me in mind as I'm exhausted bouncing to three events tonight."

"Oh Matt, three? How on earth are you supposed to cram in three events?"

"I don't know but my schedule is planned down to the minute these days. They've even scheduled when I can pee."

I can't help it when I chuckle.

"Ok, thank goodness I'm not as tightly scheduled" I tell him.

"I'm glad they did it. It was getting to the point when I had to beg to simply use the bathroom."

I sit down on the sofa and take a long drink from my bottle of water.

"I'm very happy that they're letting you pee baby" I tell him. I remember that I haven't told him about my drink tonight. "I'm going to have drink tonight with Sid, catch up."

"Oh" is all Matt says.

Hmm, this isn't what I expected.

"Are you concerned about that?" I ask.

Matt pauses before his next words.

"I don't have a concern, per se" he tells me.

"Now you sound like a politician Matt."

"Oh, sorry about that" he tells me and I hear him take a deep breath.

"Talk to me."

"You had a relationship with this guy. You were in love with him. I understand the last time that you met with him was to gain some closure but I don't know about this time. Why Anna?"

I'm surprised that he's concerned about this. He's been supportive and understanding about my relationship with Sid. I feel bad that he feels this way.

"I'm sorry Matt. I didn't even think that you might not want me to meet with him. He asked if I wanted to grab a drink the next time that I was in town so I said yes."

"He asked you?"

"Yes" I reply.

Oh my God, he's jealous. Why didn't I realize that Matt could be jealous? I instantly feel incredibly guilty. How do I handle this?

"I can cancel if you're uncomfortable with it Matt. I would never had agreed if I thought about it. I'm really sorry."

He sighs.

"No, Anna, I'm sorry. Look, he's a past boyfriend of yours who is a rich, professional athlete. It would be easier if he was an ass but he's a great guy too."

"Maybe you want to date him" I joke.

It takes a few moments but Matt does chuckle.

"Ok, funny, ha ha" he says.

"I'm serious Matt. I'll cancel if you don't want me to see him. I understand, honest."

"No, it's ok. I'm being stupid" he tells me.

"No you're not. You're being honest."

"I guess we did promise honesty with each other."

"Yes we did."

"Fine, say hello to Sid for me."

"I will. I'll try to text during the day. Make sure you eat" I tell him.

"Thanks mom."

"Funny man. If you aren't sleeping at least you need to eat well."

"I will" he says. "I love you."

"Love you too."

We disconnect and I finish my bottle of water while considering the conversation about Sid. I guess I never thought about Matt being jealous. It also makes me wonder why Sid wants to get together. He never really said why, he only asked if I wanted to meet. I didn't think anything of it at the time but now I have questions.

No, I'm letting Matt's comments sway me. Sid probably only wants to be friends. Our worlds are going to overlap more and more so it's probably a good idea if we can be friendly. The last time that we met, we cleared the air but it wasn't exactly friendly. Maybe another meeting will help us make that cross over to friends instead of just exes. I guess it's a good idea. I'll know tonight.

Sidney

I'm nervous. There's no way to get around it. I'm definitely nervous. I change my shirt for the tenth time and look at myself in the mirror. Fuck it. The current jeans and tee shirt will have to do because I'm starting to feel self-conscious. Maybe I'm focusing so much on what I'm wearing because I still don't know what I'm going to say to her. The guys were useless at lunch today when I talked to them about meeting with Anna tonight. So much for my French mafia.

I head back downstairs and open a bottle of red wine in case she wants some. The bottle is from my trip to France and I've been keeping it for a special occasion. This feels like one; or, at least it partially feels that way. The other part of me feels nauseous.

The family room seems like the best place to chat. The kitchen is too much like friends having coffee and the living room is way too formal. I put the Caps/Habs game on TV to try and distract myself from staring at my watch. She's at Mario's tonight for dinner with some of his friends and local politicians. Nathalie asked if I wanted to attend and, after finding out that it wasn't necessary, I definitively said 'no.' I hate those kind of evenings where everyone is bragging and trying to impress each other while remaining politically correct. It's tedious, boring and I usually want to stick a fork in my eye.

Instead, I wait impatiently for Anna while watching Price make a save after save on Ovi. The Habs are going to be one of the teams to beat this year and Price is playing better than ever which I didn't think was possible. If he stays healthy this year then we're all in trouble. Washington has been bleeding talent because of their cap space so they are partially rebuilding their bottom two forward lines. Part of me feels bad for Ovechkin. One of the best guys to ever play the game and yet he's never won the Cup. The closest they came was the year we won it. They won the Presidents cup and everyone thought they were going to win it all. I can't help smiling thinking about how we beat them in six games. Ovi had two points in the series. I had eight. Good times.

The doorbell rings and almost jump out of my skin. The game distracted me so much that I've lost track of time and Anna's here. I stand and take a couple of deep breaths. This is the first time that Anna has been to my house since we broke up. Usually I wouldn't have suggested my place but she was around the corner at Mario's so it made the most sense. Now she's here and I have to wipe my hands on my jeans to dry off the sweat.

After one more deep breath, I walk to the door. When I open it, Anna is standing there smiling and looking impossibly beautiful. My heart actually skips a beat I'm so overwhelmed by the moment; but, I hide it quickly and step back for her to come in.

"Hi" I tell her.

"Hi" she replies and steps inside.

As she passes me, she kisses my cheek and I can smell her perfume. It's light and soft and feels familiar and exotic at the same time.

As we chat, I lead her into the kitchen.

"How was dinner?" I ask.

"Tedious" she answers and we both laugh.

"Wine?" I ask.

"Sure. I deserve a glass after being so pleasant all night."

"That bad huh?"

"Not really I guess" she says. "I've been to worse and the Lemieux's friends are great. It's really the local politicians that drive me crazy because they're always trying to prove themselves or sound important. The mayor is the worse."

"Oh yeah, I saw him at a foundation event recently and all he did was spout stats on the Pens all night. The problem is that they were all wrong. If I had to listen to him for another moment I thought that I might punch him out."

We both laugh and I hand her a glass of wine before we go into the family room and sit down. Anna sits on the sofa and I sit in a chair facing her. She smiles and I feel my heart warm. Unfortunately I also feel nauseous from nerves.

"How is the campaign going? I bet you're both crazy busy" I say.

Anna sits back on the sofa and curls up against one of the pillows with her legs curled under her. Seeing Anna on my sofa, relaxed and smiling, brings back some great memories that I hope won't stay in the past. I want to build more memories.

"It is crazy busy. We've divided up for the past couple of weeks and then we'll do the last two days of traveling together" she tells me. "I think this is the last quiet moment I may have until after the election."

"How is your mom doing?"

"She's thrown herself into charity work to keep busy. She's working with the cancer association focusing specifically on pancreatic cancer."

"Because that's what your dad had."

"Yes."

"How are you doing? You really haven't had a moment for yourself since the funeral Anna. Are you ok?"

"You're right" she says. "I don't think I've had a moment to think since the funeral. It's just too busy and there's too much to do. I really want to take a few days off after the election. Matt will need to start setting up his administration but I'm hoping that I can convince him to take a few days' vacation, maybe go somewhere warm, do nothing on a beach for a few days."

"Will you have a role in the administration?" I ask.

"I don't know. Matt doesn't want to talk about it until after the election. He thinks it would be bad luck to discuss it while we're still campaigning. I thought you were superstitious, you should see some of Matt's" she shakes her head. "Actually, you're still worse."

"I don't think anyone has more routines than I do."

"Right, routines. Ok, we'll call them that if it makes you feel better."

I watch as she takes another sip of her wine. A drop slides down the side of the glass which she wipes with her finger. My eyes follow as her tongue slides out and licks up the drop from her finger. I can feel my body tighten in response. I remember clearly how that tongue feels on my body. How those lips feel as they suck my …

"Sid?"

I hear my name and look up to see Anna smirking at me.

"Sorry, what?" I ask.

"Did I lose you?"

"My mind just wandered for a moment. Sorry."

"I watched the Stanley Cup finals last year" she tells me. "I was so proud when you won the Conn Smythe. It almost killed me that it went to seven games. My nerves were shot by the end."

"Mine too" I tell her.

"You played so well Sidney. The whole team did. Everyone is talking about a repeat this year you know?"

"I know. They're always talking about us winning the Cup; especially at the beginning of the season."

Ok, enough small talk. I really need to just take a deep breath and get to it. I down my glass of wine for courage.

"Anna, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"I wondered if this was more than a friendly, come by and have a glass of wine, visit."

I put my glass down, walk over to the sofa and sit on the coffee table so that I am directly in front of Anna.

"What's going on Sid?" she asks softly.

I decide to start at the beginning.

"Our last conversation meant a lot to me Anna. For the past two years, I've been in a fog without realizing it. My life was solely focused on hockey when I first started in the NHL. As a kid, my parents made sure that I had a balanced life with hockey, school, friends and family. When I finally go to the NHL it was the dream I'd always wanted so I focused on doing my very best at it. I also knew that Mario was going to retire soon and I only had a short time to learn from him. My life was hockey, period."

She looks quizzical but nods her understanding.

"Anyway, when I had my concussions, my entire world was turned upside down and I was potentially facing a life without hockey. That life was empty. I had family and friends but that was it. So I decided to broaden my life beyond hockey. Then I met you and my life turned upside down and I understood how my life could be balanced between hockey and family, my own family. We didn't know each other long but I had started planning a life with you. Then, in one moment, all of those plans, all of those dreams, died."

I take a deep breath. She's still listening so that's a good sign.

"Anyway" I continue. "I didn't know how to handle our break up. I just shut down and that's how I've stayed for two years. It wasn't until some friends had an intervention recently and pointed it out to me that I saw what's been going on."

"Friends" she says. "Marc Andre, Kris and Dupuis?"

"How'd you know?"

"It's not hard to guess. They're your best friends."

"Yeah, well, they pointed out that I wasn't really living and they were right. They are right. It made me ask myself why."

"And did you find an answer?" she asks.

Ok, this is it. I take a deep breath and look for the courage to be honest.

"Yeah, I did" I tell him. "Part of it was the way it ended. We never talked after you left and it always felt unfinished."

"We finished that a couple weeks ago."

"Yeah" I agree.

"And what's the other part."

"I love you" I blurt out.

Oh fuck. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I watch Anna pale and her mouth open like she's going to say something but nothing comes out. I feel compelled to explain myself.

"I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't but I can't hide from it anymore. I still love you Anna. All those plans I had for our life together have never completely gone away. We can still have that Anna. We can still have a life together, a family, anything we want."

Anna still hasn't said a word or even moved. I know that I've surprised her but she's starting to freak me out sitting so silent and still. I'm concerned that she's going to drop her glass of wine, since her hand has gone slack, so I take it from her and put it on the coffee table. Anna looks down at her hands and I can see the exact moment when she looks at her engagement ring. She stands suddenly and walks across the room to the sliding doors where she stares out into the darkness. Only the moon illuminates the yard.

"It's been two years Sidney" she whispers.

"I know."

"I'm engaged."

"I know."

"I love him."

"I know" I tell her. "I feel horrible about all of that, honestly, but it doesn't change how much I love you."

Anna's back is to me but I can see her reflection in the dark window. She looks confused and sad. I desperately want to take her in my arms and comfort her.

"Anna" I say softly.

She turns slowly. Her eyes are wet with her arms are wrapped around herself.

"It's too late" she whispers and a tear slides down her cheek.

It's too heartbreaking to sit and watch her so I stand and walk over stopping only when I'm directly in front of her.

"It's too late" she says again.

I feel panic wash over me. I knew this was an option but I didn't want to believe it. She can't be right. It can't be too late for us.

"It's not too late" I tell her. "It can't be too late."

Something snaps and I pull Anna into my arms. The moment our lips meet, it feels right, it feels natural. I can't help but notice the differences in Anna's body against mine. She's the same but not the same.

Slowly I feel her lips respond to mine. Her arms are trapped against my body but Anna takes a small step back, still keeping her lips on mine, so that she can free her arms. I hope she's not going to push me away and my concerns are allayed when I feel her hands on my arms, sliding up until she can circle my neck and pull me tightly to her erasing that small step back she took.

I don't know how long we kiss. My hands explore, relearning her body and noticing the differences, enjoying the sighs and mews that escape her. When her fingers dig in and clutch my hair, I groan. Muscle memory has us remembering how to pleasure each other and I wonder how I've lasted two years without this woman in my arms.

Suddenly she pulls away and pushes at my chest. I try to pull her back into my arms but she firmly presses me back so I stay away.

"Sid, stop, please."

Her eyes are full of tears again and her lips plump and wet from mine. She looks sad and it breaks my heart.

"Sidney, I'm engaged. We can't do this" she tells me.

She's right of course. I didn't plan on touching her, kissing her, but it just happened and then I couldn't stop.

"I'm sorry" I tell her. "I shouldn't have done that."

"You didn't do it alone" she says and looks down at her engagement ring.

I definitely feel guilty for how upset Anna now is and for doing this to Matt. He's a good guy and doesn't deserve being treated this way.

I take two steps back to remove the temptation to touch her again. My hands are literally tingling with need to feel her skin. My entire body feels need for hers.

"I need to go" she says.

"I understand" I reply. "But, Anna, you haven't said anything about, you know." I can't say the 'l' word again.

"I'm engaged to a man that I love Sidney."

"Have you ever noticed that you only call me Sidney when you're emotional?" I ask without thinking.

She looks surprised but I can see that she agrees. I've never noticed that before today. My mom calls me Sidney, she always has, and so did my grandmothers. Anna is the only other person who uses my full name. Could she still love me? She hasn't said anything about my declaration. All she keeps talking about is her commitment to Matt. I step closer to her and cup her cheek.

"Don't" she says. "Please."

"Tell me that you don't love me too and I'll stop. All you have to do is tell me that you don't love me Anna."

For the briefest of moments, she leans into my hand before she walks away again. I'm more certain then every that she still loves me. When I ask her, she has to physically put distance between us. I don't want to hurt Anna, and she's clearly not happy right now, but I have to know. She needs to know too.

"Tell me Anna. You just have to tell me that you don't love me."

She turns back to me, her eyes filled with tears, and it pains me to watch.

"I can't" she whispers.

She loves me. I knew it. Why don't I feel happier?

"That doesn't change anything Sid. I'm engaged to Matt, a man I love remember, and this" she gestures between us "isn't right."

I can't disagree with her. I've felt guilty for days knowing that there is no outcome here when everyone walks away happy. If I have my way then it's Matt who gets screwed.

"I know Anna" I tell her. "But you can't just ignore that you love me, that I love you, and go on with your life. Too much has changed to go on as normal."

She rubs her hands over her arms hugging herself. I've noticed this a few times, a new gesture that she does like she's trying to comfort herself.

"This is crazy" she says. "It's been two years, we're different people, and we've been through so much. Sid, we're in an election and Matt could be Governor next week. I love him."

I feel panic bubble up and I can't let her get away again.

"Stop saying that!" I yell at her. "I know that you love Matt, ok? He's a great guy who has a great future in front of him. He'd probably make a great Governor and husband. I've been saying that to myself for a long time. I only have one reason why we shouldn't just walk away. We love each other."

"Oh Sidney" she says.

That's the moment when I see it in her eyes and I know that I've lost. I laid my heart out for her, my very soul, and we've had an honest conversation and yet I've still lost. It's too late. I'm two years too late. All I'm left with is a bucket full of regrets and a broken heart. It's over. I really thought that, once I told her how I felt, she would admit she loves me too and we would be together. It wouldn't be that simple of course. She's engaged and there's an election next week – holy shit, Duper is right, I'm living a fucking tele novella! All we need is a long lost uncle coming back from the dead.

"Sid, I made a commitment to Matt and that matters to me. No, our relationship didn't start out as a torrid love affair. We never got trapped in an elevator or innocently tried things we'd only read in books. But what we have is an honest and, yes, loving relationship. Oh God."

She covers her face with her hands and sinks down to the sofa. I want to go to her, take her in my arms and offer comfort; but, she's made it clear that's not my job any more. I don't have a right to offer her comfort or anything else, especially when I'm the cause of this current angst.

"Ok, Anna, I didn't want to cause you pain. I don't want to cause you pain. You deserve a happy and wonderful life full with everything you've always wanted. You'll be able to work in the administration doing PR which is what you love. I only want your happiness Anna and if it's with Matt" I trail off there.

"I'm so confused" I vaguely hear her say.

Confused?

"I should go" she says and stands. "I need to call a cab."

"I'll drive you" I tell her.

"No, Sid, really, I can take a cab."

I take a deep breath. No matter what has happened, I will not let her take a cab.

"I can drive you. It won't take that long at this time of night" I tell her.

She gives me a watery smile and nods.

"Thank you."

I take both of our wine glasses to the kitchen and then meet Anna at the door where she's putting on her coat. I grab my own and my keys then we're out the door. When we get in the car, Anna tells me which hotel she's staying at and we're quickly on our way.

The tension between us is thick and heavy. I hate that I'm he cause; but, when I think about it, and I'm honest with myself, I would do the same thing again. It's better to have taken the chance and now know that she chooses Matt than living the rest of my life in limbo and not knowing.

Thankfully I was right and it didn't take long to drive to her hotel. I pull into a parking spot up front rather than directly to the entrance.

"Anna" I begin but don't know what to say after that.

"I know" she says softly. "We can't see each other anymore Sidney."

There's my full name again.

What? I hadn't thought about never seeing Anna again, maybe I should have, but I'm still surprised. I don't want to admit that she's right but I know she is. If I'm going to get over her, if that's even possible, then there needs to be a clean break. We have closure, which I didn't have two years ago, and now I just need to move on. That's easy to say but it might just kill me to do it.

"Ok" I reply.

I can feel her looking at me so I turn towards her. She cups my cheek, leans in and lightly kisses my lips.

"I'll always love you Sidney."

I can't speak, which doesn't really matter because everything I wanted to say, I've said. All that's left to do is watch her get out of my car, walk through the hotel doors and out of my life forever.


	36. Chapter 36

Anna

"What's going on?" Matt asks me.

It's been two days since that night at Sid's and I'm back campaigning with Matt today. I've been thinking about it for days, and what I'm going to say to Matt about it, but I've come to absolutely no conclusion. We've been busy all day and have not been alone together for even a moment. There's been someone with us every second since I landed but I know that Matt has noticed something is bothering me. Now that we're in our hotel room, alone at the end of the day, Matt has turned on the light and asked me.

"It's not a simple answer and we're both exhausted" I tell Matt.

"So there is something wrong."

I sigh and reply "not wrong exactly."

"Ok" he says and rubs his hand over his face. "Sit and let's talk."

I sit on the sofa and Matt on the chair facing me. I don't know how to begin, and I definitely don't want to have this conversation, but Matt has pushed me to the point where I'd be lying to him if I didn't talk about it. Our relationship is based on honesty so I won't lie to him, ever.

"My last night in Pittsburgh, I stopped to visit with Sid after the dinner at Mario's house. I thought it was just to connect and say hi. It turned out very differently."

He nods but doesn't respond. I can see that he's tense and imaging the worse. It's better to take the band aid approach so I rip it clean off.

"We caught up on each other's lives including the campaign" I continue. "Then he completely blindsided me and told me that he's still in love with me and wants me back."

Matt's expression doesn't change. I don't know if I thought he would be surprised or angry but he's showing no emotion at all.

"What did he say specifically?" Matt asks me softly.

"He loves me and wants a future with me. He said that you are a good guy and wanted me to be happy. If I'm happy with you then that's what he'd want for me; but, he still loves me and wanted me to know. He said that he screwed up two years ago and should never have let me go."

I pause now. I know that I have to tell Matt that Sid kissed me but I don't want to. Telling Matt is going to hurt him and I don't want to hurt him. That's the last thing I ever want to do. I love him. My problem is that I love Sid too.

"He kissed me" I blurt out.

That's when Matt's eyes widen, he blinks twice and then stalks across the room. After running his hands through his hair, he begins to pace the room and talk to himself. It's not loud enough for me to hear but he keeps pacing and muttering.

"Matt?" I wait for him to respond. "Matt? Talk to me please."

He turns, hands on his hips, and glares at me.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner? It's been two fucking days!" he shouts at me.

"I wasn't going to tell you over the phone. There was no way that I was going to do that over the phone. Right now is the first time we've been completely alone."

"But you weren't going to tell me" he says. "I had to ask and force you to talk."

"Yeah, I'm sorry for that" I tell him. "I have wanted to talk to you, it's been horrible not telling you, but the election is around the corner and you need to be at your best in a stressful situation. I guess I decided to wait until after the election. You need to know and believe me when I say that I was going to tell you. We've always been honest with each other and I promised that from the beginning of our relationship. I love you Matt and I will always be honest with you."

He sighs, his shoulders slump and he rubs his hands over his face. I stay silent and wait for Matt's next move. I've told him everything that happened and exactly how I feel. Now it's up to him.

Matt walks over to sit back in the chair he left only moments before. Finally he looks up at me.

"Ok, you kissed him" he says softly.

"Yes."

"That's it?"

"Yes" I reply. "We kissed and then I left."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

"I'm sorry Matty" I tell him. "I'm so sorry for everything."

He runs his hands over his face again and then stands up.

"Let's go to bed" he says and then walks to the bathroom.

I don't move until the door closes. I quickly change clothes and wait for Matt to come out of the bathroom. When he does, I go in and take care of business.

When I come back out, Matt is in bed, under the covers and his bed side lamp is turned off. I don't know what to do. He clearly doesn't want to talk anymore but I don't know if I can sleep without knowing what's going on in his head. I decide to respect his clear wishes and climb into my side of the bed. There is a gulf of space between us. It feels more like an ocean.

"It's not ok" he whispers.

"No, it's not" I reply.

"I know you're sorry and I know that you would have told me. I do trust you" he says.

I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. He believes me.

'But he shouldn't' my conscious tells me. 'You didn't tell him that you still love Sid.'

That weight firmly settles on my shoulders again. I hear Matt's breathing slow and shortly after he begins to snore lightly. I know that sleep won't come as easily to me.

Sidney

It's election night. Usually I wouldn't give a shit but tonight I even set up an alert on my phone to update me on the Governor's race. We had an afternoon game and I'd love nothing more than to have a nap but some of the guys wanted to go out for dinner. I'm trying to look at my phone when I get a notification so that no one else notices.

I haven't spoken to or seen Anna since that night, that horrible night, when my hope for our future died. I took a chance, poured my heart out to her, and she basically stomped on it. Ok, I guess I'm still bitter from the experience. The guys, my posse or the French mafia or whatever the fuck they're calling themselves today, have tried to tell me it was the right thing to do but I'm still lost. I truly thought that once Anna knew how I felt then she would come back to me.

I pull myself out of my haze and tune back into the conversation at the table. The rookies are reliving the win today and all six goals we scored. One of the key things for rookies to learn is how to turn the page. It's a very long season and if they are going to go crazy, up or down, every time then they're going to burn out quickly.

"Guys" I say and wait until the attention is focused on me. "We had a really good win today" and there is a chorus of cheers. "But, there are eighty two games in a season and you need to roll with it win or lose. Then we get into the playoffs and there will be even more ups and downs, more extremes, so roll with it more guys, ok?"

They all absorb what I'm saying and slowly of them nods. There are going to be a lot of moments like this when they'll be coached by a veteran on the team and it's good to see them listening and taking it in. It's more than the speed that's different between AHL and NHL. Actually, the bigger changes are off the ice and can easily derail play on the ice if they aren't careful. It's the job of the vets to make sure that they get through it and learn from it.

"It's ok to enjoy the wins and you should also watch film and identify where you can be better after both wins and losses. Just keep it in perspective and try to turn the page after you've learned from it. You'll do well" I tell them.

They nod again. When the server comes with the check, I grab it first. I like to take the new, younger players for dinner so that I can get to know them better and help them acclimate to the NHL and our team.

"Thanks Sid" they say as we leave.

"Hey Sid" one of the guys says. "We're going to a club. Want to come with us?"

I may enjoy their company and spending time with them, but going to a club with them will only make me feel old. I'm only thirty but that's past the prime of a hockey player. Also, I really want to see the election results.

"Thanks guys but I'm heading home. See you tomorrow" I tell them.

We part in front of the restaurant and I go back to my house listening to the news on the way. There are some preliminary election results that don't mean much but the reporters continue to speculate. Once home, I put the TV on the news and get a bottle of water.

Quickly I lose patience with the news so I put on the picture-in-picture and watch the Ranger's game with the news on mute. There are only so many ways they can describe the differences between Matt and his opponent. It's young versus old, fresh versus establishment, and whatever else they've been saying over and over. I can't listen to it any more. Of course, Milbury's commentary dissecting the Ranger game is almost as bad. A 'decision' sign flashes across the screen with the news so I turn the volume up there.

"We are ready to call the following precincts …"

The announcer starts counting down precincts and who has won them. Wow. So far they've called forty percent for Matt. Anna must be really happy; although, knowing her, she's probably holding off until she hears the final results.

They begin talking about the political strategy again so I mute them and go back to the game. The second period has started and it's fast. The Rangers are getting their asses run around the ice by a younger and faster Oilers. The problem is that the Oilers youth also makes them prone to mistakes and the last turnover became a quality chance at the other end.

'Decision' flashes across the news screen again and they show Matt's picture. He's won three more precincts. Wow, maybe this won't be as close as everyone thought it would be. Matt could be governor and Anna his first lady. Do they call the governor's wife the first lady? I feel a little nauseous thinking of Anna as Matt's wife. His wife. Fuck, they'll probably have kids too.

Finally, it hits me: Anna will never be mine. She will never have my children. We'll never spend the day in bed together eating ice cream. I'll never look up and see her cheering in the stands for me when I get a goal. It's over. It's really, truly over.

I want to fight for her. I want to do whatever I can to get her back but there's nothing else to do. She knows how I feel, that I want her back and then she still walked out the door and out of my life.

I give my head a shake and then go to the kitchen for a real drink. I settle on a scotch and then go back to the family room. The Rangers score a goal and 'decision' flashes across the news screen.

They've called it. Not another precinct but the whole election. Matt is the new Governor of Pennsylvania so it's finally over. Matt is the governor and Anna is the first lady, if that's what she's called, and a part of his administration. She has everything that she's ever wanted both personally and professionally.

I have hockey.

When did my life become incomplete with hockey in it? Since I fell in love with Anna. That's when it happened.

The intercom chimes so I answer it.

"Ouvrez la porte de mon ami. Laissez-nous dans" Flower yells through the intercom.

I press the button so that the gate opens and lets them in. Looks like my friends have decided to pay me a visit. We'll see if it's the full French Mafia or just Flower.

I open the front door and watch as first Flower, then Tanger and then Dupuis walk up to my door. I step back and let them come in and by me.

"Hi kid" Duper says as he passes.

He's carrying a six pack of beer. I follow the guys back through my kitchen and then into the family room.

"See" Tanger says and points to the news on the TV and then my glass of scotch on the coffee table. "I told you he would be watching the election and drinking."

The guys laugh and find seats on the sofas and chairs. Duper passes the beer around, including one to me, and they start talking about the Ranger/Oiler game. It's like I'm not even here. Flower uses the remote so that the news disappears and only the game fills the screen.

I silently sit and watch my friends bring normalcy to my world tonight. For just this moment, my life is no more difficult or complex than sitting with my friends, in my family room, watching the game. They all have families at home that they could be with and yet they're here with me. This one gesture means more to me than anything else they could have done for me. They even know not to talk about Anna or ask how I am. Of course we're also not girls, we don't need to sit around and pour out our feelings to each other and braid each other's hair.

"Lundqvist looks like he's a step slow tonight" Duper says.

"Favouring his left leg" Flower comments.

"That's it, yeah" Duper agrees.

They continue to talk about the game which leads to a conversation about our next game with the Rangers. It is the first time since that night with Anna that I've felt normal.

"Do you think there's room five hole or glove side Sid?" Tanger asks me.

I pull myself back to the guys.

"Five hole" I tell them. "There's probably the same percentage glove side or five hole but he always leaves juicy rebounds if he stops it five hole."

The rest of the game is spent the same way. We drink beer, talk about the game we're watching and our game coming up next. At some point, one of the guys raid my fridge, and empty containers are now strewn across my coffee table. You get four hockey players together for a few hours and copious amounts of food are needed.

"Ok, I need to get home to my girls" Flower says.

The other guys make similar comments and I walk them to the front door. Tanger and Flower walk down the path but Duper hangs back.

"Kid" he begins. "It's like during a game, you can only control what you do and how you react. Did you say everything you wanted to say to her?"

I don't have to ask what he's talking about.

"Yeah, I did."

"Then that's all you can do kid" he tells me.

I watch him walk away and I know he's right, it doesn't make the pain go away, but I lose the regret that I've been feeling. I have done everything that I can do and said everything that I wanted to say.

I clean up the family room and then get ready for bed. The bedroom TV is on in the background with commentators discussing who Matt will choose to be in his administration. As I leave the bathroom, I notice that they've cut away from the news studio and are now in a ballroom filled with cheering people. Someone goes to the podium and announces the new governor.

Matt and Anna, hand in hand, walk onto the stage. They stop beside the podium and raise their hands up in celebration which causes the audience to cheer even louder. Matt kisses Anna's hand and she smiles at him lovingly. I rub my chest over my heart feeling the physical pain of watching Anna in love with another man.

He kisses her lips and then steps up to podium. Anna claps and moves to the side of the stage, still on it, but giving Matt centre stage. The camera focuses on Matt as he speaks and occasionally changes to a split screen to show Anna too. She looks so happy.

Anna

I open my eyes to the sun brightly shining in the windows. It takes me a few moments to remember where I am and then it all comes rushing back. The election was yesterday and we won. Matt was happy and excited as was his entire family and my mother. They all came to support Matt.

When we received the news that he won, Matt picked me up and twirled me around and around until I was dizzy. As soon as he put me down, he bypassed his family, friends and campaign workers to get to my mother. Tears came to my eyes as I watched him wipe away her tears and kiss her cheeks while she congratulated him. I could read her lips when she told him 'he'd be so proud of you.' Tears came to my own eyes then and then the rest of the evening as a blur, a wonderful and happy blur, but still a blur.

I turn to my side and see Matt facing me, sleeping. It's the first time in days that he's looked peaceful and rested. He's the governor. It really happened, he won the election and now he's the governor. Or he will be when he's sworn in but he won the election.

"I can hear your brain so loud that it woke me up" Matt says to me.

I chuckle and say "sorry." I caress his cheek. "You're the governor" I tell him.

He smiles widely and says "I guess I am."

"You are going to be a wonderful governor Matty."

"I hope so" he turns his head and kisses my palm. "Today is going to be a crazy day. Everyone is going to want interviews and that's just the beginning. We need to start interviewing for the administration."

"And we thought the election was busy" I tell him.

"Yeah, right. Anna, we need to talk about what comes next."

"Ok" I say. "Talk about what?"

"What comes next?"

"I'm happy to help with the transition and interviews" I tell him.

"No, that's not what I'm talking about" he says. "I'm talking about what comes next for us."

"Are you saying that you want to plan a wedding while you're setting up an administration and in your first year of office?"

"No" he says and looks sad.

Something is very wrong.

"What do you mean Matt?" I say and sit up.

Matt rolls onto his back and runs his hands over his face.

"I mean we need to have an honest conversation about our relationship" he tells me. "Actually, not about our relationship so much as".

He stops talking.

"So much as what?"

"So much as your feelings for Crosby."

I'm too stunned to speak, to utter a single word, in response. We've talked about this before and I have no idea what's left to discuss. He knows that I have feelings for Sid, I always will, but I love Matt.

"Nothing has changed Matt. I love you. I want to marry you. I want a life with you."

"I believe that you love me Anna" he says and sits up so that he's facing me. "I know that you love me Anna and I love you."

The words he's saying should be happy but he looks incredibly sad.

"Then what's the matter?" I ask.

"Anna, can you honestly say that, after hearing Crosby tell you that he loves you and wants you back, that you still want to be with me, have a future with me?"

"I love you" I tell him.

"That's not what I asked."

"I do love you" I tell him and feel tears come to my eyes.

"I know you do, Anna" he says and gives me a sad smile. "But, can you tell me that you still want a future with me? That you don't still think of what could have been with Crosby? Can you tell me that you only love me, want a future with me, to be together forever with me?"

A tear slips down my cheek. This is my best friend, the man I've committed myself to and whom I love.

"I meant it when I said that I was going to marry you. I'm committed to you and our future Matt."

"You meant what you said? You're committed to me and our future? I believe you but that's not exactly a declaration of love. It makes our relationship sound like an obligation."

"That's not what I meant" I tell him but I don't even convince myself.

"I know it's not what you meant but it is what you said" he pauses before continuing. "You need to be honest about how you feel. We've always been honest with each other."

"I have been honest with you Matt."

"Ok, then have you been honest with yourself? Have you allowed yourself to really explore how you feel? It's not fair to anyone if you marry me now and wake up ten years from now hating your life and wishing that you took a different path. That's not fair to either of us."

I shake my head but I can't say the words. He's right that I've never allowed myself to completely think through what Sid told me and how I really feel or what I should do next. I've always fallen back on the commitment that I've made to Matt and continued down that path.

"You're right" I tell him. "I didn't think through what Sid said because I've already made the decision to make a future with you."

"Again, I feel like an obligation" he tells me.

"Matt, this was never a great love affair" I blurt out without really thinking. "I don't say that to be mean or rude but it's true. In the beginning, we made a practical decision to build a relationship together and we have. We grew to love each other and can have a happy life together."

"I love you Anna but you are deluding yourself if you think you won't regret this in five years or ten. I am your friend and I don't want that for you. Shit, I'm not being altruistic here, I don't want that for me either. Do you think I want to be with a woman who loves another man?"

I sob and say "I love you both Matt. I'm sorry but I do."

"Finally! Finally you say it" he says. "I know you do Anna."

"I'm sorry" I whisper and can only stare down at my clasped hands.

Matt sighs and covers my hands with his own.

"Don't apologize for how you feel Anna."

"This is horrible, I'm horrible" I tell him.

"Stop it" he tells me. "You're talking about my best friend you know? And she's not horrible. She's not great either, she is in love with another man, but she's not horrible."

I look up and see that his eyes are wet too and it kills me to know that I put that hurt in them. I should never have agreed to marry Matt with things so unfinished with Sid.

"Matt, I love you."

"I love you Annabelle."

"Don't call me Annabelle, Matthew."

We both smile.

"Come here" he says and opens his arms.

I crawl across the bed and cuddle into his arms. He holds me close and kisses the top of my head. I feel safe, I feel loved, and it feels wrong. The moment that Sidney told me that he still loves me, I've been feeling less and less like I belong to Matt and that feels wrong. I don't love him any less, in fact my love has grown after this conversation, but I love Sidney more and that's where my future lies.

"You need to go and talk to Crosby" he whispers. "Get in front of him and be honest about how you feel Anna. Be happy. I'll figure everything out here."

"No, Matt" I pull back so that I can look at him. "It's going to be a media nightmare. You should be riding high on the election landslide and using your approval numbers to pass as many of your initiatives as you can. I need to be here to support you, to help you, with everything."

"You've been integral to this campaign and the election but I'm going to be ok. The administration is going to be ok. We'll figure this out."

"This is surreal" I tell him.

"What is?"

"I'm lying in bed with you and talking calmly about leaving you. This isn't right. You're being way too kind to me Matt."

I pull out of his arms so that I can sit in front of him again.

"I'm pissed Anna. Don't mistake my supportive and calm exterior for being happy about this situation. I love you and thought we'd have a future together. Now that future is slipping through my fingers like sand but I made the same commitment that you did. First and most important to our relationship is honesty. You've been honest and now I need to as well. I'm pissed that we have everything, had everything, and no we don't. I made plans for the next phase of our life and now we don't have one. But that doesn't mean I don't want the best for you and, if you're in love with another guy, then I deserve better."

It's harsh to hear but he's right. It isn't fair to Matt to be in a relationship with someone who isn't devoted completely to him. We were equal at the beginning of our relationship. We were friends who decided to give a romantic relationship and love a try and we did fall in love. Now we love each other but I also love someone else. Our relationship is no longer equal and we both deserve better.

"I am so sorry" I tell him.

"Stop apologizing. I only tell you how I feel to be honest with you and not for an apology."

"Ok" I say. "Ok, I understand. Where does that leave us?"

"I think it leaves us best friends, exactly where we started, and seeking that all-consuming, overwhelming love of our lives. I think you already know who that is for you Anna" he pauses. "But, regardless of what you decide to do, we are over. Our relationship is over."

I don't hear bitterness or anger in his voice. Instead he sounds melancholy and resigned and it feels like he's saying goodbye.

"I love you Anna, I do, I want a forever with you but not if you're in love with someone else. We need to end this before we hurt each other and have years of regret. We both deserve better."

"You're right" I tell him. "We have been happy, these past two years, right?"

He looks surprised but then smiles.

"Of course we were happy. We still are happy" he says. "But there are different degrees of happy and we could be happier."

"Yeah."

Neither of us move, we sit facing each other, on the bed.

"So, what do we do next?" I ask him.

"I have no idea" he says.

We both chuckle and I feel a great weight lift off of my shoulders. I feel sad too. This isn't a happy moment. I love this man, planned a life with him and now that is all gone.

"I'm going to miss you, desperately" I tell him.

"I will too."

"Seriously though" I say. "What do we do next?"

"I think you have a plan to catch, right?"

"Now?"

"The soonest one available to get you to Pittsburgh" he says.

"But don't you need me here to help with" I gesture around, "everything?"

"No, let me talk with Chris and figure out the best way to do this, ok? I'll make sure to call you before we do anything so you know what's coming."

Then a thought flashes through my mind.

"Shit, my mother" I tell him.

"Yeah, well, we aren't engaged anymore so that one is on you. I'll tell the people of Pennsylvania and you can tell your mother."

"You realize that you have the better job in this situation" I tell him.

"Oh yeah. Good luck with that" he smiles at me.

I watch as he grabs his phone and dials. I go into the bathroom to get ready for the day. When I'm finished and go back into the room, Matt has our luggage on the bed and is folding clothes into them. He looks up and notices me.

"You're on the noon flight to Pittsburgh" he tells me. "I'm meeting with Chris for breakfast in an hour to talk. I haven't told him yet. Actually, I haven't told anyone."

"Ok, you'll want to tell Chris first."

"And you're going to need to tell your mother so she doesn't hear it on TV."

"Yeah, I will."

"But first" he says.

"Yeah, but first."

I take off my engagement ring and hold it out to Matt. He sighs, looks down at it and then back up at me, before he takes it. Now it feels final and over. And sad.

I finish up the packing while Matt showers and changes. We're both done at the same time and suddenly we're standing together again.

"Come here" he says and opens his arms.

I go into them and wrap mine around his waist. The smell of his cologne is soothing and makes me nostalgic even though I haven't left yet. I pull back to look at him. Matt leans down and kisses me. It's a sweet and loving kiss. It's a goodbye kiss.

When I pull back, Matt looks sad and I feel the same way. He's strong and kind and loving and I'm saying goodbye. It hurts.

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you" he says back and kisses me again.

Slowly, I pull out of his arms and pick up my purse and luggage. I give him one last smile and then I leave the room. I continue directly to the elevator and it isn't until I'm inside of it that I let out the breath I've been holding.

It's more like a sob than a breath. I'm profoundly sad even though it feels like the right thing to do. I'm lonely as well as sad. I didn't realize that it would be this hard to leave.

It doesn't take the cab long to get me to the airport and then in line for my ticket. At least I don't have to check my bag. I've learned to live out of carry on during this election. Maybe I should rethink going to Pittsburgh and visit my mother instead. Maybe I should think about what I do next before I do something that I'll regret.

"Can you tell me when the next flight is to Charlestown?" I ask the customer service agent.

Sidney

"She's awesome Sid" Duper says. "And hot, definitely hot."

"I'm tired of you guys trying to get me to date" I tell him.

"Don't include me in that" Tanger says. "I said that we should just get you laid."

The guys still in the locker room laugh and soon everyone is chirping about my lack of sex life. At least they're having fun, even if it is at my expense. As I leave to room, Duper catches up with me.

"Ignore those guys" he tells me.

"You started it" I reply.

"Yeah well, you seriously need to get laid."

"You don't have to tell me" I reply.

I watch as Duper's mouth drops open in surprise.

"Then let me help you."

"You aren't my pimp Dupe."

"I always thought I'd make a good one."

"Fuck. Is the French mafia expanding into hookers?"

That makes him laugh so hard the water he's drinking spurts out of his nose. We part in the parking garage and I set out for home. I really don't want to go home alone but it's been a full day of practice, meetings and then I had an interview. A little boredom might actually be a good thing; although, I've started hating going home to that big house all alone. The house even looks lonely as I pull up.

Driving up, I notice that someone is sitting on my front step. How the fuck did they get through the gate? It's locked and too high to jump over, usually. Apparently not for this person. I debate calling the cops but decide to see who the person is first.

I park in the garage but, rather than go into the house via the garage, I walk to my front door. When I turn the corner, I immediately stop. I have to be seeing things. It can't be her.

I watch as she stands and smooths down her skirt. I recognize the gesture as one she does when nervous.

"Hi" Anna says.

"Hi" I reply.

We stare at each other saying nothing. A million thoughts run through my mind as I watch her stand there nervously. What is she doing here? She should be with Matt, right? Didn't they just win an election last night?

"I should have thought this through better" she says.

"Um, ok" is all I can reply.

"Damn, I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry Sid. I'm just going to call a taxi and leave."

"No, don't, it's ok" I tell her. "You came all the way here. Come inside, ok?"

Anna looks unsure and I can see that she's trying to decide what she wants to do.

"Anna, come on inside."

She smiles slowly and then nods. I pick up her suitcase and lead her in the front door. After hanging up our coats, I lead Anna to the kitchen not quite sure where we should talk.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask her.

"Um no, look, I'm sorry that I just arrived on your doorstep. I, um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Ok" I reply. "About what?"


	37. Chapter 37

Anna

I watch Sid round the corner to the front door and I stand.

"Hi" I say brilliantly.

"Hi" he replies.

We stare at each other saying nothing. A million thoughts run through my mind as I watch him stand in front of me. The main thought is: what the hell am I doing here?

"I should have thought this through more" I say.

"Um, ok" he replies.

My anxiety gets the best of me.

"Damn" I tell him. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry Sid. I'm just going to call a taxi and leave."

"No, don't, it's ok" he tells me. "You came all the way here. Come inside, ok?"

Should I go inside? Can I really tell Sid how I feel and ask for a second chance? Or is it a third or fourth chance by now? What if he doesn't want to get back together now? What if the last time was really the last time?

"Anna, come inside."

It's his no-nonsense voice and I know that I'm smiling in response. He's so damn cute when he tries to be stern. I nod then he picks up my suitcase and leads me in the front door. After hanging up our coats, I follow Sid into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asks me.

"Um no, look, I'm sorry that I just arrived on your doorstep. I, um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Ok" he replies. "About what?"

I should have come up with a better plan on my way here. What am I going to say to him? How do I do this, tell him that I love him and want him back? I need to say something because he's just staring at me now, waiting for me to do or say something.

"I love you" I blurt out.

Shit. Did I really just say that to him? Did I really just blurt that out? Sid looks stunned.

"Um" I begin. "I didn't mean to just say that, like that" I continue to fumble.

Sid frowns and asks "are you saying that you don't mean it?"

"No" I say quickly. Sid looks more confused. "I mean yes. Shit no" oh God, I'm really screwing this up. "Sid, I meant what I said, I love you, I just didn't intend to blurt it out like that."

"So you do love me?" he asks softly.

He's giving nothing away. I can't tell if he's happy, sad, angry, nothing.

"Um, yeah" I reply. "I love you Sidney."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do."

"Oh" he says.

Oh? All he has to say to me is 'oh,' seriously? Damnit, I can't tell what he's thinking.

"Sidney, I love you."

"Thank God" he says and in a second I'm in his arms.

Sid's lips are on mine desperately seeking, I don't know what, but it feels like he's seeking an answer for something. As my hands travel up his arms, shoulders and neck, I can feel how tense he is and my instinct is to sooth. I cup each of his cheeks and pull back an inch, just far enough so that I can see his face, and then stroke his cheeks lightly with my thumbs.

"I love you Sidney, I do."

I peck at his lips lightly, sipping, tasting, and slowly I feel him respond. Sid's fingers tighten at my waist and he pulls me impossibly closer. His lips slide to my cheek, over my jaw and then he hugs me close. He smells like soap and the gel he uses in his hair. Then there's that unique smell that is Sid that I've missed so much.

"You're here, you're really here" he whispers into my ear. "I can't believe that you're here."

"I'm here" I tell him. "And I love you."

He lets out a deep breath and says "I love you too."

I feel the words flow through me and warm every part of my body. Being in Sid's arms feels right, it feels like coming home and where I should always have been and should always stay.

Sid pulls back just enough so that we can see each other. He brushes the back of his fingers over my cheek and I shiver in response.

"I have to ask something" he begins.

"Ok, ask me anything" I reply.

"What about Matt?"

Of course he's asking about Matt.

"This morning, Matt and I broke up. We decided that we love each but not enough to be married" I tell him. "Besides, I'm in love with someone else."

I watch while my words sink in and Sid understands the meaning behind the words.

"You aren't marrying Matt?" Sid asks.

"No."

"You love me?"

"Yes, with all my heart."

"You want to be with me?"

"Yes, for the rest of our lives, if you'll have me."

"Yes, please" he says.

He kisses me again only slowly, lovingly, and I feel cherished and loved. Suddenly Sid bends slightly and picks me up in his arms. I encircle his neck and leave kisses below his ear.

"If you keep doing that I may drop you. That wouldn't be very romantic you know" he tells me and makes me laugh. "I've missed that."

"Miss what?" I ask.

"Your giggle. It's the happiest sound I've ever heard."

He continues up the stairs and then directly into his bedroom. At the edge of the bed, Sid lets me slide down his body until my feet touch the floor. We kiss again and he begins unbuttoning my shirt. His fingers brush against my skin as he releases each button and I shiver. When it's completely open, Sid pulls it off and then tosses it to the floor.

Slowly I slide my hands from his waist, up and under his tee shirt and continue so that I can pull it completely over his head. Wow. I forgot how hard his muscles are. My fingertips lightly trace each muscle starting at his shoulders, moving over his chest and then stomach. I can feel each muscle contract as I do. As I slip my fingers into the waistband of his jeans, I hear a sharp intake of breath and Sid's hands cover mine.

"You really need to stop" he tells me. "This will be over way too quickly if you keep that up."

"Keep what up?" I ask and wiggle my fingers.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Oh, you mean this" I tell him and wiggle my fingers again.

"Yes, that" he says and pushes me, hard, so that I fall back onto the bed.

I watch as he lifts one of my legs, takes off my shoe and then repeats with my other leg. Next, he rolls down each of my stockings and tosses them aside. He runs his hands up my legs, calves first, knee, then thighs and takes my skirt higher with his hands. He doesn't stop until his hands reach my waist then he pulls my panties down and off.

With my skirt bunched at my waist, Sid kneels on the floor between my legs. He kisses the inside of my knee and then leaves kisses up the inside of my thigh. I shiver when his teeth nip at the soft skin then moan when his tongue licks where he just bit. He repeats his nips and licks a few more times before he moves to the other leg, kisses up until he reaches my thigh where he nips and licks.

Sid sits back pushes my thighs apart as wide as he can then leans in. I feel his breath on me. I'm so hot and wet that his breath feels incredible and I moan long and low.

"Fuck, you are so fucking hot when you moan" he whispers.

He takes a long, slow lick, I moan again and my hips tilt up having a mind of their own. Sid takes the opportunity to suck my clit with his lips. He alternates between sucking and pushing down with the flat of his tongue. Over and over he repeats sucking and pushing and my hips move with the rhythm. I feel the familiar quickening as my orgasm begins to grow. Sid increases speed and pressure and that feeling grows and moves throughout my body until I feel the electricity rush to my extremities and my orgasm overtakes me.

I think that I cry out but I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything and can't think of anything because I'm a mass of feelings.

When I finally become aware of my surroundings again, I open my eyes and see Sid lying beside me with a huge smile on his face.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi" I reply.

I know that I'm grinning back at him. I reach up and pull him to me so that I can kiss those gorgeous, full lips. As his body presses against mine, I can feel his erection through his jeans and against my hip.

"Mmmm, roll back" I tell him.

I stand and pull my skirt off while Sid sits back farther on the bed. He looks so hot lying there wearing only his jeans. His eyes are heavy, his lips full and red and body, wow, that body.

I climb up so that I'm straddling his thighs, not an easy task since they are so huge, and then I reach for the button on his jeans. I watch his face while my fingers unbutton his jeans and then lower his zipper. Slowly and firmly I rub the length of him over his shorts. Sid groans and throws his head back. His hands are grabbing my thighs and his fingers dig into my skin. I trace the length of him over and over and Sid continues to moan. He gets impossibly harder and rubbing isn't nearly enough anymore.

I slip off of the bed and then pull both his jeans and shorts completely off. He springs free and I'm desperate to have him inside of me. Desperate. I need to feel him fill me.

I climb back on the bed and straddle him again. This time I don't stop until I can feel him at my entrance. Sid shifts his hips so that he rubs harder.

"You are so fucking wet" he growls.

I lean down and capture his lips. He quickly plunders my mouth with his tongue seeking mine. I shift my hips slight forward and back, over and over, so that he rubs against my centre. Oh god, he feels so good.

"Anna, wait" he says and I immediately feel old insecurities come to the surface. "I don't have any condoms."

Oh, that's it.

"It's ok, I'm on the pill."

Sidney

She's on the pill? When did that happen, not that I'm complaining, but I don't have any time to think it through.

Anna sinks down on top of me so that I'm reaching deep inside of her. The moan that escapes her makes me even harder and I thrust deep again. She moans again.

It's the oddest thing. It feels like we've never been apart and yet it also feels like I don't really know her. The same with her body. She responds to my every touch, as she used to, and yet her body is also very different. She's much leaner. Where she used to be curvy, she's now tight and toned. There's no better or worse, it's just, well, different.

Anna's breathing speeds up as does her hips. Her hands lean back on my thighs and her nails dig into my skin. This hasn't changed. Anna still has the same tells before her orgasm.

I thrust harder and she moans loudly. Suddenly, she lets go of my thighs, grabs my hands and brings them up to her breasts. I massage and knead then tweak her nipples between my thumb and finger. This sets her off. She throws her head back and cries out. I thrust deep twice more before I follow her.

When I can focus again, I notice that Anna is sprawled on top of me and she's still shuttering from her orgasm. It's the sexiest thing, after her moan of course. I run my fingers up and down her back, lightly teasing, because I can't seem to stop touching her. I'm still inside of her and yet I'm desperate for more.

She turns her head so that she's looking down at me and brushes the hair from her face. She smiles, widely, and I kiss those gorgeous lips.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi" she replies.

I turn so that we are lying side by side facing each other. I brush the hair away from her face again and then trace the beautiful planes of her face. Her high cheekbones, full lips, even her gorgeous nose and chin.

"You are so lovely" I tell her. "I'm missed you so much."

I actually feel a lump in my throat as I say this to her. I really have missed her. She's as vital to me as breathing. How was I going to live without her if she didn't come back to me?

"I never want to be without you again Anna" I tell her and kiss her forehead. "I can't see a future, a life, without you."

"Oh Sidney" she says and caresses my face. "I love you so much and I want that future, that life, with you too."

The weight of what you've both just said washes over me. I'm going to be with this woman forever, have a family with her, grow old with her, and love her for the rest of my life.

"Do you play tomorrow?" she asks me.

"Yeah" I tell her. "Practice in the morning and then game."

"Who do you play?"

"Rangers."

"Can I watch?"

"You want to watch?" I ask her.

"Of course I want to watch" she says. "This time I won't be an intern."

"You can sit in Mario's box with him and the family."

"Will that be ok?"

"Of course it will babe."

She smiles at me and says "I feel like the cheerleader going to watch her boyfriend, captain of the team, play."

"You kinda are" I tell her.

She looks surprised but then smiles again.

"Yeah, I guess I kinda am." She kisses my neck. "There are a lot of benefits being the girlfriend of the captain."

She slides her hand from my neck and over my chest.

"A lot of benefits" she repeats and traces my chest muscles. Her hand slides lower and her fingertips trace my stomach muscles. "Mmmm."

She watches her fingers on my stomach but I can't take my eyes off of her face. I've only seen that look briefly and periodically. It's teasing, sexy Anna. Only now there is a self-confidence about her that is very hot. Her fingers slide lower until she wraps them around my dick. Wow, very, very hot. Fuck.

Her eyes widen as I grow hard again and look up into mine.

"A great many benefits" she says and simultaneously pushes me onto my back and slides down my body.

Her hand slides up and down my length, slowly, almost leisurely. She leaves kisses down my chest and to my stomach where she pauses and traces each muscle with her tongue.

"You are incredible" she tells me. "Absolutely incredible."

Her breath whispers across my skin wet by her mouth and tongue. Before I can say anything, her tongue travels lower and replaces her hand. She licks me up one side and down the other before settling over the tip. My eyes must roll back in my head because I can no longer see as her tongue runs around and around my tip. I may even black out as she takes me into her mouth, deep, until l hit the back of her throat. She gags a little but doesn't stop. Her head bobs up and down, up and down, and I hear a groan that might be me. Anna moans in response and I feel it vibrate across my skin.

I'm going to blow, too soon, so I try to push her head away but she takes me deep again and tugs on my balls at the same time. That's it. I lose all self-control and explode. There isn't even time to warn her.

When I can finally open my eyes again, I look directly into Anna's eyes and she's smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"I think I'm paralyzed" I tell her. "Are my legs down there? I can't move."

Anna chuckles and slowly looks my body over down and then back up.

"I'm very happy to report that all of your parts are exactly where they should be."

I chuckle now.

"Don't go having any dirty thoughts" I tell her. "I need a nap, or some food, or both before we go again."

She slides away from me and picks up my tee shirt from the floor. I watch as she pulls it on over her head. Her lean muscles flexing as she pulls it on and then releases her hair from the neck so that it billows out over her shoulders.

"Where's your phones?" she asks me.

"Hmm?"

"Your phone Sid. Where's your cell phone?"

"Oh, my jeans."

She bends down, treating me a gorgeous view of her behind, and picks up my jeans. After rummaging through my pockets, she finds my phone, takes it out and hands it to me. I unlock it and hand it back.

"Not that I mind, but what are you doing?" I ask her.

"My phone is downstairs and, although I'm sure that you have changed since we were together, I doubt that you have groceries in your fridge."

She's right. I don't have more than Gatorade, water, protein shakes, fruit and a few prepared meals. I gesture to my phone and she looks for something then dials. As she orders, I notice that she remembers what I like, exactly what I like, when she orders my meal. It's interesting that she didn't ask what I wanted but just went ahead and ordered.

"Ok, we have thirty minutes" she tells me and grins.

When she climbs on the bed, on top of me, I throw my hands up.

"Ok woman, I need some food and a shower before the next round."

She pouts, totally sexy by the way, and then slides off of me. Standing beside the bed, she places her hands on her hips and keeps pouting.

"I guess you are thirty now" she says.

"You calling me old?"

"Not exactly, but you aren't in your twenties anymore. Men do tend to slow down."

"Nice" I tell her and chuckle.

"Come on" she starts walking to the bathroom. "We have enough time to shower."

Naked and wet in the shower with Anna. Mmm, maybe I don't need the rest and food.

We manage to clean ourselves even while also enjoying some water sports and make it downstairs before the food arrives. We're sitting on my sofa, enjoying a glass of wine, while we wait. Anna's hair is still wet so she has it in a bun on top of her head. She's in one of my sweatshirts and matching pants. I'm in a tee shirt and shorts. It feels very normal, natural and homey.

"What?" she asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You have an odd smile."

"Oh" I reply. "I was just thinking how natural this feels, having you here with me, on my sofa, after a very fun afternoon."

She smiles too.

"Yeah it does" she replies and then her smile disappears.

"What's wrong?"

I ask her.

"We have so much to talk about" she says.

"Yeah, we do."

"When?"

"I have a scheduled day off on Wednesday. Why don't we set that aside to talk?"

Her frown clears and she smiles.

"Sounds good. We just kind of fell into bed. I don't want us to avoid a conversation about our past and future because right now is so good. I really want to make this work Sidney."

"Me too. I agree, we have a lot to talk about."

"Now why are you frowning?" Anna asks me.

"I didn't realize that I was" I tell her confused. "I was just thinking that I used to need a crowbar to get you to talk to me."

"Yeah" she says and frowns herself. "That's one of the things I guess we need to talk about."

The gate rings and I go to let in the delivery of our dinner. The guy recognizes me and asks for an autograph which I give him. It's easier to just do it and get them on their way.

When I walk back into the kitchen, Anna has refilled our wine and is setting out dishes and cutlery. Together we take out the food and pile up our plates, well I pile up my plate while Anna takes barely enough to be called a snack, and then we sit at the kitchen table with our wine.

"I need to ask one thing" I tell her. "I need to know this now."

"Ok" she tells me.

"Why did you and Matt break up?"

She puts her fork down and takes a sip of her wine before answering.

"When I got back with Matt after leaving here, I told him about our conversation. You shouldn't be surprised Sid" she tells me. I guess I look as surprised as I feel. "Matt and I may not have started our relationship based on love but we promised to always be honest with each other. Always."

"Oh" is all I can seem to say.

"Yeah, I told him about our conversation and our kiss. He wasn't happy of course but I thought we worked through it. Anyway, this morning, Matt and I talked again. The result was our break up, ending our engagement, and my coming here."

"There's probably more to it than that" I tell her.

"There is, a lot more, but we can talk about that on Wednesday, right?"

"Yeah, right. I just wanted to make sure that I knew where you and Matt left things. It's important to me that you're honest with him too. It kills me to admit it but he's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is" she agrees. "And since we're talking about him, I want you to know that I loved him. Actually, I still love him. We were friends and it grew into more. It was a real relationship. I wasn't settling or forced into a relationship with him because of my parents. It was real Sidney."

I have to ask. There is no way that I can wait for Wednesday.

"So why are you here, with me, and not with him?" I ask her.

"I've come to realize that there are different kinds of love Sidney. I'm in love with you."

"It's that simple?"

"Yep, it's that simple."

She picks up her fork and continues eating her dinner. I guess I'll have to take that for now and wait until Wednesday when we can talk more.

"Oh shit!" she exclaims.

"What's wrong?"

"My mother. I need to call my mother about Matt and me breaking up."

"Yikes."

"Yeah yikes. Matt's going to deal with the media and I'm dealing with my mother."

"He might have the better end of that deal" I tell her.

"Yeah."

Anna sets aside her now empty dish and goes to the front door. When she comes back, I see that she has her purse and is taking out her phone.

"Do you mind if I give her a call?" she asks.

"Go ahead. I'm sure you want that over with as soon as possible. I'll clean up our dishes."

"Thanks Sid."

I take our empty dishes to the kitchen and start cleaning up while she goes into the family room with her phone. I can only hear the conversation when Anna's voice rises. Wow, I've never heard her be that direct and, I guess, argumentative with her mother.

Anna

That wasn't pleasant. After I disconnect the call with my mother, I call Matt.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi" I reply. "How are you?"

"You thought the campaign was hectic and crazy, the first day after the election is worse and I'm not even governing yet."

"Be careful what you wish for huh?"

"Yeah" he says. "How are you?"

I know what he's really asking me. He wants to know if I'm with Sidney.

"I'm in Pittsburgh" I tell him. "I just called my mother."

"I bet that was fun."

"Not really" I answer sarcastically. "She did a lot of yelling and telling me that I'm throwing my life away. When that didn't work, she switched to telling me that I'm dishonoring my father's memory."

"That's bullshit Anna!" he yells into the phone.

I hold it away from my ear for the moment as I see Sid walk into the room. He stops at the edge of the room and I gesture for him to come in, which he does, and then sits beside me on the sofa. I mouth 'it's ok' and then go back to my conversation with Matt.

"Matt, calm down. You knew that it wasn't going to be pleasant when I told her."

"I know Anna but saying that about your father is horrible."

"Yeah, well, that's what she does. Anyway, it's done now and I just wanted you to know. Did you decide what to do about the media?"

"You mean after I calmed Chris down?" he chuckles. "After breathing into a paper bag and a shot of bourbon, Chris started strategizing. He figures a one on one interview with a reporter that we trust. It will either be on cable or web TV but it will be me speaking. The messaging is still being finalized but we'll stick close to the truth. You and I are great friends, have been and will continue to be, but have decided not to get married. Something like that."

"Ok. Have Chris send me the speaking notes when they're finalized please."

"You should have them end of day tomorrow."

"Ok."

Now I feel awkward. I'm talking to Matt. I'm sitting beside Sid. It's weird.

"I have to go" he tells me.

"Ok, good luck with the rest of your media today."

"Thanks" he tells me. He doesn't disconnect right away, instead he continues "are you happy Anna?"

That's unexpected.

"I'm getting there, yes" I tell him. "What about you?"

"I'll get there too."

We both disconnect and then I cuddle under Sid's arm and by his side.

"I wanted to give him the update on my mother" I tell Sid.

"I guessed. It was ugly? With your mother I mean."

"Yeah. She said that I was dishonouring my father's memory by leaving Matt."

"That's bullshit!"

I chuckle.

"That's exactly what Matt said" I tell him.

"I guess we have more in common than loving you."

I turn to Sid and take his face in my hands.

"I love you Sidney. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. I will be in love you will until the day that I die."

I watch Sid's eyes grow darker so that his pupil and iris are indecipherable. His tongue slips out and moistens his bottom lip. I shift my hand slightly so that I run my thumb across that lip and Sid kisses it.

"Good to know" he replies.

I narrow my eyes and look at him with comical suspicion.

"Ok fine" he says. "I love you too Anna."

When our lips meet, it is the sweetest and most loving moment I've ever experienced. Both of us keep our eyes open and staring at each other. Lightly, our lips rub together. After a few moments, I pull back and Sid pulls me onto his lap where I cuddle in.

"Do you mind if I put the TV on?" he asks me.

"The Rangers are playing?"

"Yeah."

"Go ahead" I tell him.

When the game is on, Sid settles back against the cushions pulling me with him.

"Fuck" he says.

"What?"

"I need to call my folks. I don't want them to hear that we're back together from someone else."

"Good idea. Do you want me to leave?"

"No, I don't mind if you don't."

I answer by settling back against him.

"Hi mom" he says into his phone.

Pause.

"I'm doing fine."

Pause.

"Really, my ankle is fine mom."

The next pause lasts a while with Sid adding 'hmm, hmm' every few moments.

"Look mom, I'm calling you to, um, let you know that Anna and I are back together."

I actually hear the squeal from Trina and look up to see Sid wincing and pulling the phone from his ear.

"Yes mom, we're back together."

Pause.

"Yes, she's here now."

Pause.

"No, you are not going to talk to her. Maybe tomorrow, ok?"

Pause.

"It just happened this afternoon. I wanted you to hear it from me so I'm telling you, ok? We can talk more tomorrow."

Pause.

"Ok, I promise, I will."

Pause.

"I love you too, bye."

He disconnects the call.

"I guess she's happy?"

"You heard her. She's very happy."

"I've missed your mom" I'm surprised when the words come out of my mouth.

"She's missed you too babe." He pauses for a moment before continuing. "Once we know what's going on with us and what comes next, I'd like to invite them down here to visit. Mom and dad want to see you."

"I'd really like that Sidney." Which makes me think of something. "I, um, need to find a place to live. I basically have this one suitcase with me."

"Well, you could stay here" he says.

He sounds uncertain. I'm not sure if he's asked because he thinks that he should or if he really wants me to live with him.

"Sid, um, we don't have to live together unless you're ready too. Just because we are back together doesn't mean that I have to move in. I mean, I want to be here with you but I don't want you to feel obligated to" I stop talking. "Shit, I'm doing this badly. I'm sorry."

I know that I'm holding my breath. This is really the first hurdle that we're having to jump together. Falling into bed was easy. Telling our mothers that we're together was easy. The rest is going to be really, really hard.

I'm relieved when I feel Sid's chest move under my cheek as he chuckles.

"I feel the same way. I don't want you to be obligated to live with me and I know we've got a shit ton to figure out Anna; but, I think you should move in if you want to be here with me. With my schedule, we'll only get to spend time together if we live in the same place. If not, one of us will be constantly traveling with a spare change of clothes in our back seat."

"So we should live together so that our clothes are all in one place?"

"No, shit, now I'm doing this badly?"

I tilt my head so I can look up at him and smile.

"You're teasing me" he says. "Nice, really nice."

His fingers dig into my sides to tickle me. I try to twist and turn away from him but he redoubles his efforts and pushes me back against the sofa cushions until I'm pinned under him. His lips attach to my neck, kissing, sucking, and nipping with his teeth. Wow, he's really clever with his mouth. Then his hand slides down my side until he reaches my waist. Slowly, too slowly, he slides his hand beneath my waist band, down my stomach and between my legs. I cry out when his middle finger slides beneath my folds and rubs lightly. My cry turns into a moan when he teases my clit and his teeth sink into ear lobe.

"Fuck" Sid says against my neck and pulls away until he's standing.

"What's wrong?" I ask. Then I hear the doorbell. "Who could that be?"

"The French mafia" Sid mutters under his breath and leaves the room.

I have no idea what he means but it sounds like he knows who it is so I sit up and put my clothes back in the right place. I've just sat back on the sofa with my glass of wine when I watch Marc-Andre, Kris and Pascal walk into the room. All three of them stop the minute they see me, in fact, Kris almost walks directly into Marc's back.

"Anna!" Pascal shouts and rushes over to me.

No sooner am I on my feet than Pascal has picked me up and is twirling me around. I don't even manage two feet on the ground before Marc and then Kris do the same thing. When I'm back on my feet, all them start talking at once and I think Kris has switched into French.

"Um, Pascal, I, um, just arrived this afternoon" I answer his question first and then turn to Marc. "I plan on staying so I don't have a date that I'm leaving." Then I turn to Kris. "I'm not sure that I completely got the gist of your question because it was in French."

Everyone starts laughing and then we sit down. Pascal passes around bottles of beer I think he brought with him and I pick up my glass of wine.

"I was asking if you were working with the Pens again" Kris says.

"I'm officially unemployed as of this morning" I tell him. "I have nothing figured out except that I'm not engaged anymore and I'm here, with Sidney."

All eyes turn to Sid and he nods to them which is followed by complete silence. Pascal is the first to react again.

"That's really great" he says warmly. "That is really, really great."

The rest agree and then Kris notices a great save in the game on TV. Everyone watches the replay and, just like that, the subject is changed and all of the awkwardness disappears. The next couple of hours is a lot of fun. I forgot how much fun these guys are when they're together, teasing each other and having fun. It isn't until I start yawning that I realize the game has been over for thirty minutes and the west coast game has started.

"Shit, it's late" Kris says when he looks at his watch.

The other guys agree and we all go to the front door. I'm hugged by each of them. Pascal is last and he whispers in my ear.

"I'm so glad you're back. Sid needs you" he whispers.

When he pulls back, he kisses my cheek and I smile at him. Sid puts his arm around me as we watch the guys drive away.

"What was that about?" Sid asks.

"He's glad that I'm here."

"That makes two of us" he says and then scoops me over his shoulder.

"What are you doing? You're a crazy man" I tell him.

Sid turns off the lights as he carries me up the stairs and to his bedroom. When he throws me on the bed, I giggle all the way down. It feels great.

Sidney

I'm nervous. I can't remember being this nervous before a game except for both times, in game seven, of the Stanley Cup final. This time my nerves are because my girl will be watching.

Anna will be watching the game as my girlfriend. She'll be with the Lemieuxs in their box watching the game, watching me play, as my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm really nervous. Anna made reference to being a cheerleader watching the captain play and it's exactly how I feel too. Sure, I've had girlfriends watch me play before, and in some really big games, but this is very different. I want to win for her. I've always wanted to win for my team mates, for myself and for the coaches; but, this is the first time that I've wanted to win for my girl.

"Sid" Tanger says beside me.

I look beside me, where he's sitting, and watch him point towards the door to the locker room. I know that I have a crazy smile on my face when I see Anna standing there. She's wearing a short skirt and tight sweater with a deep v-neck. Her boots are high heeled and go up to her knee. She looks too fucking hot and I feel my cup tighten. Damn.

I walk over to her and hear Tanger making kissing sounds just loud enough for me to hear him. Ass.

"Hi" Anna says when I'm standing in front of her.

"Hi" I reply. "You look really good."

Her smile widens.

"Thanks" she tells me. "I love seeing you in this jersey."

"Sweater" I remind her.

"Right, sorry, I love seeing you in this sweater."

"Thanks."

"I'm going to go up to the box but I wanted to stop down here and say good luck." She bites her lip. "Can I kiss you?" she asks softly.

I wait for the embarrassment to come or the fear of changing my routine. It doesn't happen.

"Please."

I bend down and Anna kisses my cheek. Before she can pull too far back, I cup the back of her neck and pull her lips to mine. I planned on a light, quick kiss but my lips seem to have a mind of their own and the kiss quickly deepens. I only realize what's going on when I hear some of the guys' cat calling behind me. I pull back and Anna's smiling at me. I look behind me and start chuckling. I'm never going to live this down, ever.

"I need to go" she tells me.

"I need to go listen to more of that shit" I tell her.

Anna kisses me one more time, quickly, and then turns to walk away. I don't know what comes over me, or why I do it, but I slap her ass. She squeaks, looks back at me surprised and stops. I'm frozen to the spot waiting to see what's going to happen next. Without missing a beat, she grabs my neck and brings my lips back to her and thoroughly kisses me, there's even tongue, and then she turns away and continues walking down the hall. I can't move until she's out of site. Fuck, her ass looks good.

"Jock a little tight?" Tanger says as he walks by me.

I ignore him, and the other guys chirping, then go back to my pre-game routine. I finish in time for Sully's pre-game meeting where he reminds us of the game plan. Then we go out for warm up.

I can't help myself. As I stretch on the ice, I glance up at Mario's box and I quickly find Anna. She's talking to some guy. Who is that guy? Is he one of Austin's friends? No, he wouldn't be here if he's Austin's friend because he would be in school. He's too young to be a friend of Mario's.

"Hey Sid, you going to join us?" Horny yells at me.

I look up and the guys have started line rushes and they're having to go around me. I give my head a shake and get my mind back into the game. I need to focus.

I manage to ignore everything around me when we come back on the ice for the game, throughout the first period and into the second period. We're up 3-0 and I've had two goals and an assist. Anna might be my lucky charm. I haven't had a multi-point goal game yet this year and then I do at the first game that Anna's here. I can't wait to see her.

Sully calls my line and we go out for the face off. I call the play and the guys go into position. When the puck drops, I win the face off easily and then go directly to the net. The play has Tanger taking the shot and then I'll be at the net to get a rebound if it doesn't go in. When I'm in front of the net, I turn looking for a tip in and the puck hits me in the ear before I can turn all the way around.

The pain explodes from my ear and throughout my head. For a brief moment, my vision goes blurry and then I fall to the ice barely catching my head from hitting it. I lift my head and try to stand up but everything turns upside down causing me to fall back to the ice.

"Stay down Sid" Horny says.

Chris, our trainer, kneels beside me and asks what happened. I tell him it was my ear and he looks at it through my helmet. All I can think of is how much worse it could have been if I didn't have the ear protector on it.

"Dizzy?" Chris asks.

I look up and then get onto my knees.

"No, I'm not dizzy anymore" I tell him.

"Ok, slowly get up and we'll go" he tells me. "In case I'm not clear enough, we're going off the ice and following concussion protocol."

I start to argue with him but catch myself quickly. Out of all NHL players, I know the importance of following the protocol even when I want to argue. No one likes being taken out of the game for any reason.

I skate beside Chris to the bench and hear the cheering of the crowd and the stick tapping by the players. Tanger apologizes to me as I pass him so I tap him with my stick. It's not like he planned to hit me.

Chris and I walk directly to the trainer's room and I see the team's doctor follow us out of the corner of my eye. So the protocol begins. I sit on the table. First I answer their questions about symptoms. Next they do the physical exam. My ear is bleeding so they slap on a temporary bandage to stop it while they continue with the test.

Next is the most absurd section. I know what venue I'm at, which period we're in, who last scored and which team we played last. Before we can move on, I hear raised voices from the hallway, a man and then a woman, I think.

"I just need to see him" I hear and know instantly who the female voice belongs to as she walks into the exam room.

"Sidney" she whispers when she sees me with the doctor and trainers. "Are you ok? No one would tell me anything. I saw you get hit with the puck and then you went off the ice. I couldn't find anyone to tell me how you were or what happened to you."

While she continues on, I ask Chris and the doctor to give me few minutes. They grudgingly do and I look at Anna. She stops talking and stares at me.

"Babe, I'm ok. Come here" I tell her and gesture her closer.

She does as I ask and stops directly in front of me. I take her face in my hands and kiss her lips.

"I'm ok baby" I tell her. "I got hit in the ear and I'll need some stitches but I'm ok. They are doing the concussion protocol because they have to but I have no symptoms. Honest Anna, I'm ok."

She encircles my wrists with her hands.

"Are you sure?" she whispers.

"Yes I'm sure" I tell her. "Now, can we let the medical team back in here to assess me so that I can get back on the ice?"

"Oh, yeah, ok" she replies.

I kiss her again, softly, and smile.

"Now go" I tell her.

She smiles and goes back to the door way.

"Thanks Chris" she tells him. "I'll see you after the game Sidney."

She leaves and the guys come back in and finish the assessment. As I told Anna, I'm cleared because I don't have a concussion. It's the end of the period so the doc sews up my ear and then I meet the guys in the locker room. No one asks how I am, we don't do that, but I get some nods. Tanger is in his stall when I sit with mine.

"You ok?" he whispers.

He must still feel bad about being the one who shot the puck if he's asking.

"I'm fine" I tell him.

He nods and goes back to his own end of period routine. I look up and see Anna standing at the doorway to the locker room but she doesn't come in. I smile and mouth 'I'm fine'. She smiles back and then walks away.

"That's a good woman you have there" Tanger says so that only I can hear him.

"Yeah" I agree. "I'm going to marry that woman."


	38. Chapter 38

Sidney

I wake up alone in bed with a throbbing headache. Lying still, I assess where I'm feeling the pain and determine that it's not a concussion headache which is what I always think of first. While not a doctor, my vast experience as a patient allows me to assess my pain accurately. The puck hit my ear, requiring stitches, and my head snapped to the right. That's where the headache is coming from today. I'll be fine after the trainer works on me or I have a massage.

It's 10am so Anna must already been downstairs. I take care of business in the bathroom, and swallow down some Tylenol, then get dressed. I find Anna drinking coffee at the breakfast bar and reading something on her iPad.

"Good morning" I say as I approach and kiss her lightly. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did" she smiles at me. "And I'm currently reading about my rock star boyfriend who singlehandedly won the game last night."

I chuckle and make my breakfast shake. It's only when I've turned on the blender that I notice that everything was out on the counter for me ready to mix it. Anna must have done it all for me. Hmm.

When I'm done, I sit next to Anna and look at her iPad. She's reading an article about last night's game and, indeed, it is heralding me as the hero. It could be worse I guess because we could have lost. I hate when they focus on me rather than the team or the whole game. Like any one player can win an entire game all by themselves. Maybe Maurice Richard once upon a time but not now for sure.

"How are you feeling?" Anna asks.

"Had a headache but took something and it's gone" I tell her. "I'm good now."

She narrows her eyes like she's trying to see inside my head herself. Anna must like what she sees because her frown turns into a smile and she gives me a quick kiss.

"Ok, good" she tells me. She looks closer at my ear and says "the swelling is gone where the stitches are and they look good."

"You know a lot about stitches huh?"

She smirks and goes back to her iPad.

I scroll through my phone and review some of the emails that I've received. They can all wait. I send a text to Chris, our trainer, and ask who's on call for massage. His immediate response tells me to come into Consol. He's in and can work on my neck. I look at Anna, back at my phone and then at Anna again.

"What?" she asks.

"Chris is at the rink and said that he can see me right away to work out my neck. Do you mind if I run in?"

"Of course not" she tells me.

"It's just that" I begin and sigh. "I'll tell him no. We set the day aside to talk and that's what I want to do."

She smiles and cups my cheek.

"We will" she says. "Here's what we'll do. You go in and get your neck worked on and I'll go to the grocery store." I look skeptically at her. "Seriously Sid, you have no food. I couldn't make something for lunch unless the ingredients included Gatorade, apples and batteries."

I chuckle and reply "ok. I guess that isn't appetizing, huh?"

"We'll meet back here, have lunch and talk" Anna says.

"Great."

I finish my drink and take it and Anna's dish to the sink. We each get our things and head out to my car which is when I realize that Anna doesn't have one.

"Why don't you drive me to Consol, go shopping and then pick me up after?" I ask her.

"Ok" she replies.

We chat on our way to the rink about nothing in particular. It feels normal, right, and I enjoy every moment of it. At the rink, I kiss Anna and she drives off in my car. I go inside and find Chris in the trainer's room. We chat for a little while and then I get on the table. These guys, our trainers, are truly miracle workers because quickly my neck is better, loose and limber again, and I leave feeling great. It's perfect timing because Anna has finished grocery shopping.

When I get into the car, I notice the many, many bags in the backseat.

"Did you buy out the store?" I ask her.

"We may never have lived together Sidney but I know how much you eat, which is basically everything you can get your hands on" she tells me. "Oh, and I texted Andy and asked for a list of the top foods you need to eat so I got lots of those."

"You're so cute" I chuckle.

"Well, I didn't realize until I was in the produce section that I know what you like to eat but not what you need to eat. I've never had to worry about that before so I asked Andy. You were in treatment."

"Hey, I think that was a great idea and I really appreciate it babe."

She smiles.

"How did the treatment go?" she asks.

"I'm feeling brand new."

"Those guys are miracle workers" Anna tells me.

"I thought the exact same thing earlier and pretty much every day. They really are incredible" I agree. "What are we doing for lunch?"

"Chicken sandwiches with shredded cabbage slaw."

"Sounds good."

We chat all the way home and then continue as we unpack the groceries. As I unpack the food, I see that she has purchased everything that I need to eat for the next few days.

"You realize that you are smiling at Brussel sprouts Sid" she says to me.

"Yeah I do."

"Ok, why are you smiling at the vegetables?"

"It's not the Brussel sprouts so much as all the food. You got it all Anna."

"Oh, ok."

"Thank you" I tell her and kiss her.

The quick, soft kiss that I intended deepens quickly and I'm lifting her up onto the counter and grinding against her. The mood is hot, heavy and then completely blown when my stomach growls. I pull back and press my forehead to hers.

"Oops" I say.

"Hungry Mr. Crosby?"

"For a number of things."

"Food Sidney, let's take care of the food."

"Fine" I growl, kiss her quickly and then help her off of the counter.

We put the rest of the groceries away and then make lunch. Well, Anna makes lunch and I do what she tells me to do since I'm completely hopeless in the kitchen. Quickly, more thanks to her than me, we are sitting at the kitchen table eating.

"So" she begins. "Where do you want to start?"

Confused I ask "what do you mean?"

"We're going to talk. Where do you want to start?"

Oh.

"Um, are we going to go back two years ago or do you want to start with moving in together now? I've never done this before" I tell her.

"Me either Sid. Why don't we start with living together now? Why do you want me to move in?"

"That's easy. We're back together and I don't want to waste any more time. If we're together than let's be together. Plus, with my schedule, I don't want to be away from you any more than I have to be."

"Ok" she says and smiles.

"Why do you want to move in with me?" I ask. She doesn't answer directly. "You do want to move in with me, right?"

"Of course I do" she says. "For all the same reasons that you said. I'd add that we need to be together to actually be together. We can only do that if we're in the same place."

She seems sure. She sounds very sure. I guess we're both on the same page on this if nothing else yet.

"Ok" I reply. "Um, so what's next?"

"How about what I'm going to do while you playing?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Sid, you'll be practicing, playing, and all the other things that you need to do. What am I going to do? I'm not the 'wait at home for your man' kind of woman."

Oh.

"What did you do before?" I ask. "You know, with Matt."

She frowns then says "I worked on Matt's campaign planning and strategizing and then, in the end, I was the candidate's fiancée and I worked in that capacity."

"So work here" I tell her.

"Doing what?"

"I don't know. With the Pens I guess" I tell her. "I'm sure that Mario could use you in some capacity."

"I don't want you calling in any favours or asking Mario. Please Sid. It wouldn't be right. I will talk to Jennifer though and see if there is a position for me. Then I get to travel with you guys too. Ok?"

"Ok" I reply.

Wow, this is the first time I've ever suggested using my position to help someone. At least Anna is thinking clearly and dismissed the idea quickly.

"Well, we know what's going to happen here, now, or at least our next steps" Anna says. "But Sid, these things really aren't the main problem right?"

She's right. All of these things need to be discussed but they aren't our main issue. We need to talk about what happened two years ago, what happened after I found out about the abortion, essentially about all the shitty stuff.

"Yeah, you're right. Let's clean up and then" I pause.

"Then we can talk about the rest" she says.

"Yeah" I agree.

Anna

I know that I'm portraying a confidence that I only partially feel. Maybe being with Matt has made me a stronger person and a better girlfriend / fiancée. I know how to have a healthy and loving relationship; although, a part of me feels like I don't know how to have a successful one because I've had to two major relationships in my life break up, both Matt and Sid.

After Sid and I finish cleaning up from lunch, I pour myself a glass of wine, Sid grabs a bottle of water, and then we go to the family room. We each sit on different end of the same sofa and face each other. I guess it's time to put what I've learned to use.

"Let's start with the abortion" I blurt out.

Sid looks stunned by my outburst, about as stunned as I feel, so I explain.

"Sorry" I tell him. "It just came out before I could think."

"Ok, no problem. There still are some things that we haven't talked about" he says and smiles. "I actually have a few questions if you don't mind."

"Ok" I tell him. "Let's start there. What do you want to know?"

"When did you know that you were pregnant?" he asks me.

"Um, almost four weeks after we had sex. My period has always been regular, to the day, and when it was late, I knew. I took a test, a few of them actually, and they were all positive."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No Sidney. Who was I going to tell? I almost told Lauren, we spent a lot of time together that spring, but with how close you are with the Lemieuxs, I didn't want to put her in the middle of anything. Also, then I'd have to tell her that we had sex and she had a crush on you when you lived with them. It would just be weird."

"She had a crush on me?" Sid asks.

Oh oh. That must have been a secret. Oops.

"Yeah, but let's focus on one thing at a time, ok?" I tell him.

"Yeah, ok" he says and takes a drink of his water. "So you had to deal with it alone."

"Yes. I told my mother that I was going to see my aunt. She lives in Connecticut. I flew into New York first, told everyone I was going to do some shopping, and then drove to my aunt's home."

"Why New York?"

"What better city to get lost in, so that no one knows you, but in New York? Anyway, I found a clinic that took cash and wouldn't keep records. I heard about it at boarding school because a few girls used it. Anyway, I underestimated how long recovery would take. When I got to my aunt's house, I felt horrible but she believed me when I said it was the flu. No one knew what happened."

"And that was it?"

"Yeah it was pretty simple. At least the procedure was" I tell him.

"What does that mean?"

"Sid, we've never really talked about my family's religious beliefs."

"No, I just assumed that you disagreed with them. I mean you've had an abortion and we've had sex."

"I guess that's an easy assumption to make" I tell him. "I don't believe exactly what they do Sid, I don't. Besides, I don't know that they believed half of what they said they did. Anyway, I do believe in God. I'm pro-choice, but I do believe in God. I also believe that abortion is murder because whether the baby can live outside the womb or not, it is a baby. I killed our baby Sidney. I did."

I have to stop and take a few deep breaths. I still can't think of our baby without wanting to sob uncontrollably.

"Oh Anna" he begins and I hold my hand up to stop him.

"Sid, this isn't something that I'll completely get over. I would do the same thing again but that doesn't mean that I think that it's ok. Nothing about it is ok. I just thought it was the best solution to an untenable situation. That doesn't mean that it was a good solution."

I look at him pleading for understanding. It might be impossible since he's a man, or because he didn't go through it himself, but maybe he can understand part of it at least.

"That must have been so hard for you Anna. I'm sorry that you had to do that alone. I'm not saying that you should have told me, we didn't even know each other and I get your situation, but I wish you weren't alone."

"I get it too" I tell him. "Of course I couldn't tell my mother and father. They would have forced me to have the baby and marry a man I didn't love or give up the baby for adoption. Neither of those were options so I did what I had to do."

"I don't know if I'm allowed to have an opinion" Sid says.

"Of course, you can have any opinion you want Sidney."

"My experience is that, even if a man has an opinion, if it's about abortion then that man should keep his mouth shut. The law is a woman's right to choose."

"Well it's just you and me Sidney. If we're going to talk about it then let's talk about everything openly and honestly."

"Ok, you probably know that I was raised Catholic so I struggled with abortion. I've always been able to see the grey in the black and white that is usually presented on the subject. Anyway, I've never been able to articulate my thoughts and what you just said is exactly what I believe. I don't think it's right or should be easy; but, it is also the best solution in a bad situation some times. That's what happened to you, a bad situation, and you did the only thing that you felt you could."

"Yeah" I say. He does get it. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For getting it. For getting me."

"Did you think that I wouldn't?"

"Actually, I thought that you would hate me" I tell him.

That's when it all makes sense. I didn't tell Sid because I thought that he would hate me and I couldn't have him hating me.

"That's what it came down to Sid. Yes, when we got together that fall, we were close and sharing a lot of things with each other but this was one thing that I just couldn't tell you. I thought that you would hate me and the more I knew you, the more I loved you, the more fear built up inside of me. I couldn't tell you because I thought that you would hate me and that would have killed me. It nearly did when it finally came out and you knew."

"I get that" he says but doesn't sound convincing.

"Do you?"

He's silent and stares down at his water bottle. One thing that I've learned about Sid is that you need to wait him out when he's silent like this because he needs to think through something. He'll talk once he's figured out whatever it is he needs to process.

"No, I don't. I'm sorry but I don't. We were in love Anna and wanted a future life together. I wanted to marry you, have a family with you, and be together forever with you. When you love someone, how can you keep such a big secret from them? How can you do that? No, Anna, I don't understand the secret part."

I don't know how to make him understand. How do I make him understand how I felt? How do I make him understand?

"In the beginning, I didn't think that it was anything long term" I tell him. There was no way that you really wanted me. Then, the longer it went on, and the deeper I got into the relationship, I didn't know how to tell you. I guess I convinced myself that it didn't matter since we weren't really together when it happened. It wasn't right and I'm not trying to make excuses for my behaviour. I'm just trying to help you understand why I did what I did."

"Ok, I kinda get that. What we had was overwhelming, I felt it too, and you didn't know how to tell me about it or how I would respond to the lying since we'd already argued about being truthful."

I feel relief. He does get it, at least a little bit.

"Yeah, that's it" I tell him. I just got in deeper and deeper and then I didn't know how to get out of the hole. I loved you so much Sidney. God, I was a mess back then. I didn't know how to handle, well, anything it seems. Work was great but the rest, everything personal, I was simply a mess and didn't know what to do, say, or how to act. I mean, look at my parents' relationship and tell me that I know how to have a loving relationship."

"I never thought of that" he replies. "I have my parents, grandparents, all kinds of cousins and you had your parents. I guess we had very different examples of relationships."

I take a drink of my wine and stare at Sid. He seems to get it. He seems to understand.

"Anyway, at some point in our lives we make our own decisions about our life" I tell him. "We need to take accountability for our behaviour. If I'd realized that earlier then maybe we wouldn't have gone through all of this Sid."

"You can't go there Anna. Everything that's happened has brought us here, to this moment, when we're sitting on this sofa and discussing a future together. It's been painful, the past years have been painful, but they have brought us here." He smiles and continues "that's one way to look at it. The better way I think."

"So what's next?" I ask.

"You've been standing up to your mother, I've seen it a few times. How did that come about?" he asks. "You used to either avoid her or you did whatever she told you to do. That isn't happening anymore."

I chuckle.

"No, it doesn't happen anymore. I guess that started, or stopped, when Matt and I got together. She was mollified because I made a decision that she approved of and then, over the next months, I saw less and less of her as she started taking care of my father. It sucks that it had to happen because my father was sick but it happened."

"I hate to admit it but I did enjoy hearing you put her in her place when you told her about breaking up with Matt. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I really did enjoy listening to you on the phone with her."

I chuckle again. Only Sid would feel bad in that kind of situation. He's so sweet.

"I think that I owe you an apology" he begins. "For how I behaved back then, when I found out, I think that I owe you an apology."

Confused, I ask "for what exactly?"

"I don't think that I over reacted exactly. I mean, Anna, that was shocking and, quite honestly, I was completely blind-sided, so however I reacted was going to be my reaction. But, after that day, I should have called you and spoken to you about how I felt and asked how you were doing. If you love someone, then you treat them better than I treated you."

"And how I treated you" I add softly.

"Yes" he agrees. "We both screwed up I guess. I want you to know, I need you to know, that I don't hold it against you. The abortion I mean" he explains.

"You should" I tell him and feel tears well in my eyes.

"No, I shouldn't. Don't you ever think that I'm disappointed, or mad or whatever other negative emotion you can imagine, that you could even think that I would hate you. Yes, initially that's what I thought but I was angry, upset and frustrated. When I thought about it, truly and honestly thought about it, I knew that I was angry about the lying and nothing else."

Really? I squint at him, looking as if I can see directly into his soul. That's stupid of course but what I do see makes me believe him. I can live with Sid being mad about the lying but if he was mad or disappointed about the abortion, wow, I don't know if I could live with that.

"Do you believe me?" he asks.

"Yes" I answer quickly. "I'm relieved and yes, I believe you."

I put my wine down on the coffee table and then climb across the sofa until I'm straddling his lap. I wrap my hands around his hard neck, wow he even has muscles there, and stroke his cheeks with my thumbs. I love the way his eyes soften and grow dark. This is the moment when I feel, truly feel deep inside, all of the love he feels for me. This has to be the closest thing to perfection on earth.

"I love you" I whisper and kiss him.

"I love you" he whispers back.

Our lips softly rub and sip. His love warms my heart and spreads throughout my entire body. This is perfect. An absolutely perfect moment.

Sid pulls back and asks "will you move in with me?"

"Yes, of course" I tell him.

"Good, great" he says and kisses me again.

This time, I pull away and shift so that he's cuddling me. It is the best feeling. Ok, maybe the second best.

"Holy crap, it's 5pm" he says when he looks at his watch.

"Wow, the afternoon has gone by fast."

Sid picks up his phone when it buzzes and says "Tanger is asking if we want to go out to dinner with him and Cath. What do you think?"

I'd love nothing more than to stay her in our perfect bubble but that's not realistic and we're going to have to burst it sooner than we want anyway. No one noticed that I was at the game, no one in the media, but we could get our picture taken if we go out. Should I do that so soon after Matt did his interview and announced talked about our break up? It could make it worse. Of course we need to live our lives at some point. Will it really be better if we wait? I make a quick decision to live my life.

"That sounds great" I tell him. "I haven't seen Cath yet and it will be great to spend some time with her and Kris."

"Ok, let me text him back." Sid messages Kris who responds immediately. "Ok we're all set. He'll make reservations for 8pm."

"Whatever will we do for the next few hours? Hmm, I just don't know how we'll fill the time" I tell him and start leaving kisses up his neck.

We're interrupted by my phone ringing. I ignore it but Sid pushes me back slightly.

"I like your idea but answer your phone first and then I'll meet you upstairs" he tells me.

"Ok" I tell him, stand and go into the kitchen to get my phone.

I'm surprised when I see that it's Jennifer, the Pens' head of PR.

"Hi Jen, how are you?"

Sidney

While Anna's on the phone, I go upstairs and fill the tub while waiting for her. I installed a deep soaker tub in the master bath so that I could actually soak my aching joints and muscles comfortably in my own bath. It has a great side benefit of being able to fit both Anna and I together. A wet and slippery Anna sounds very appealing right now and I feel my dick twitch in anticipation.

"You aren't going to believe what just happened" Anna says as she walks into the bathroom. "Awe, you filled the tub."

"I thought we could participate in some water sports" I tell with a wink. "What am I not going to believe?"

"Oh yeah, it was Jen. You know that she's pregnant right?"

"It's hard to miss" I tell her.

"She's only in her seventh month too. That's going to be a very large kid. Anyway, her doctor has put her on bed rest so she can't work."

"Oh, that's too bad" I reply. "Is it serious?"

"Serious enough that the doctor doesn't want her working but the baby and Jen will be fine. Anyway, since I'm here in Pittsburgh now, she's asked if I can finish up the season for her. She'll be on bed rest until the baby is born and then will be taking a few months off for mat leave. Jen says that if I step in then she can stop panicking that everything will fall apart."

"Wow, do you want to do it?"

"Of course I do. It's a great opportunity and it will keep me close to you. What do you think?"

Wow, she's asking me what I think about her job and not like she's asking permission. She's asking my opinion.

"Um, if you want to do it then I think that you should. You just said that you needed something to do, beside me that is" I smile at her. "Do you want it?"

"I think it would be great. I did so much on the campaign, not just the media piece but the strategy too, so I'd love to do it."

"Great" I tell her. "Now get naked."

I strip out of my clothes and then get into the tub. For a few moments, Anna simply shakes her head and chuckles before removing her clothes too.

"Come here" I tell her and pull my legs apart so that she can fit in front of me.

I pull her back to me while I settle against the back of the tub. The water is hot, Anna is slippery and smooth, and everything in the world seems right. As if reading my mind, Anna sighs and lays her head back against my chest.

"This was a great idea" she says. "This is another reason that I need to move in with you."

"Baths together?"

"No" she says. "This tub. It's awesome!"

I dig my fingers into her side and she gasps, giggles and then tries to move away. She can't because my other arm is holding her firmly in place against me.

"Stop it" she shrieks still giggling. I stop and she settles back in place. "Ok, I like that you're in this tub with me."

"But the tub is still good, right?"

"Oh yeah."

"I put this tub in because I can actually fit my whole body in here. Too many tubs, even if they say that they are deep, never completely cover you with water."

"That's the worse" she tells me.

"I know that you're laughing at me but I don't care. I love this tub" I tell her.

"I'm glad that you love this tub."

"You're making fun of me and I still don't care."

She chuckles and my hand slides to cup her breast. It is wet and slippery from the water, her nipple is pebble hard, and I lightly run my thumb over it. The small catch in Anna's breathing tells me how much she enjoys it so I do the same thing with my other hand on her other breast. This time she gasps louder and her hips shift. I rub one nipple between my thumb and finger and elongate it and slide my other hand down, over her stomach and between her legs to cup her.

I do nothing else with that hand but can hear Anna's breathing quicken. She breaths heavier too. I love how responsive her body is to my touch and I can tell the exact moment when it's not enough. Anna pushes her hips up into my hand so that my middle finger slides between her folds. She moans when my finger slides over her clit. It makes me remember something.

I slide another finger over her clit and, with the two, I rub slowly. Very slowly my fingers circle around and around her clit while I continue to elongate her nipple. Anna begins to let out small moans and gasps that get louder, deeper and longer the more excited that she becomes. She tries to turn, move, but I hold her still.

"Don't move" I whisper in her ear. "You are so fucking hot. I want you to cum just like this, I want to watch you and feel you."

I increase both speed and pressure with both hands driving her further and further. Quickly, she's gasping and panting. Her hips tilt and push into my hand. I can tell that she's close, very close, so I continue the pressure and speed and then bite down, hard, on her ear lobe. That does it.

I feel her come undone in my arms, under my hands, and hear her cry out. It's hot, really fucking hot as her body shakes and stiffens against mine. A few moments later she relaxes completely against me, limbs limp like noodles. I smile and kiss her cheek. I will never get used to this or take it for granted. I love this woman.

"Well that was fun thank you" she giggles. "Want to move into the shower and I'll show you how grateful I am?"

We must set the record for getting out of the tub and into the shower where Anna does indeed show me exactly how appreciative she is.

Later, as I dress for dinner, I can't help but smile at our afternoon water play.

"If you keep smiling like that then they're going to know exactly what we've been doing" Anna says.

"They have two kids Anna. I think they are well aware what sex is and that we have it."

Anna giggles and says "zip me up please."

I zip up her dress letting my fingers graze over her smooth skin.

"Up Sidney, zip it up."

"Spoil sport."

She shakes her head at me and picks up her shoes.

"Come on" she says. "We're going to be late if we don't leave soon."

I do up my last button and follow her out of the bedroom and downstairs. After getting our coats, we get into the car and are on our way.

"Where are we eating?" Anna asks.

"Do you remember that steak and seafood place you loved? That's where we're going."

"Oh, I love that one."

"So does Tanger."

We arrive quickly at the restaurant and I park using valet. Kris and Cath are waiting for us at the table. The girls embrace and start talking at the same time. They don't stop as they sit down. I didn't realize that they knew each other so well but they're talking like they are long lost friends. Actually, I don't remember Anna ever being this comfortable with one of the guys' wives but, here she is, talking easily with Cath about their kids.

Tanger and I look at each other and laugh. The waiter comes up and neither of the girls notice it so Kris and I choose the wine. They are still talking when the waiter comes back with it and goes through the pouring process. It's only when a glass of wine is sitting in front of Anna, and a glass of sparkling water for Cath, that they remember where they are.

"Sorry" Anna says and smiles at Tanger and I. "How are you Kris?"

"I'm good. Sounds like you're doing ok too" he says to her.

Anna looks at me and then back at Kris.

"I'm definitely doing well" she tells him.

The evening is a lot of fun. Cath and Anna continue to chat and laugh like great friends and take up most of the conversation. Tanger and I manage to get a few words in occasionally. It does give me time to observe Anna with others and the differences between Anna two years ago and Anna now. She's visibly more confident and open. The polish that always covered her nerves and insecurities is now infused with warmth and seems a more natural part of her.

The girls excuse themselves after dessert and leave Tanger and me at the table.

"That is one fine woman" Tanger tells me. I guess I must look confused because he continues. "Cath is, of course, but I'm talking about Anna. I've never spent time like this with her, just talking, you know? Nothing about hockey or the team. She's really funny and Cath likes her and she doesn't trust easily. She's a fine woman mon ami."

"Yeah" I tell him. "She really is."

"How are things going? I mean, you guys haven't been together for two years and she was engaged to another guy a couple days ago."

I take in Tanger's question and consider it. Can we really make a life together after be apart for so long? We just dove right in without considering the time apart. Is that a problem? We spent the afternoon talking so we do know what we're doing, right?

"Sid?"

"We spent this afternoon talking" I tell him. "We went through everything that happened when we broke up and talked it all through. It's not going to be easy but we'll be ok."

Tanger looks like he's about to say something when the girls arrive back at the table ready to leave. We part at valet.

"That was so much fun" Anna says as I drive us home. "I didn't get to spend much time with the wives when I had my internship. Cath always seemed really nice but she's really warm and sweet too. I like her a lot."

"That's great, I'm glad" I tell her.

"I'm going into Consol tomorrow to meet with Jen and talk about taking over for her. The doctor said that she can come in for two hours so we need to fill it with everything I need to know."

"You'll come with us on the road trip then?"

"I will" she replies.

"We'll need to be in separate rooms. That sucks" I tell her.

"Oh, I didn't think of that. I guess we will need to stay in separate rooms; although, I will have so much to do that I don't know how much I'll use the bed anyway."

"We could make great use of it together."

"Ha, yeah we definitely could but you need your sleep when we're on the road. Plus I don't think it's right if we stay in the same room for away games. No girls in the rooms, remember?"

She's right and I didn't really mean it when I said that we should stay in the same room. I follow the rules, especially as captain, but that doesn't mean I can't sneak into her room.

"I remember the rules" I tell her. "I follow them too by the way."

"Good" she replies and hops out of the car since I've pulled into the garage at home.

We chat about the next day, driving in together which won't work, and Anna taking one of my cars. She doesn't like the truck so she'll take the Tesla. We work such different hours that driving in together probably won't ever work. Besides, there's no way that I'm getting up as early as she does. I really don't know how she does it.

When we're in bed, she scrolls through her phone while I watch Sports Centre. She forgot it at home when we went to dinner so she wants to catch up on messages.

"Wow" she says.

"What?"

"I have fifty five missed calls."

I turn to look at her.

"Who are the missed calls from?"

"One from Matt and one from his campaign manager. One from my mother. The rest are various media and people that I don't even know."

"Why are all of these people calling you?"

"Matt's interview" she tells me softly.

Oh yeah, he gave an interview about their break up. Everyone must be trying to get an interview or quote from Anna now.

"Ignore them" I tell her.

"Oh I intend to ignore the media calls but I need to call Matt."

She looks at me a little warily. The truth is I wish that guy didn't exist and that she'd never talk to him ever again.

"He can tell you what's going on" I tell her.

She takes that as I intended and calls him while staying on the bed beside me. This is why I don't go completely crazy about her talking with her ex. She doesn't rush out of the room or make sure that she's alone when she calls him. Anna talks to him right in front of me.

"Hi Matt" she says.

Pause.

"Yeah, I figured that happened. Sorry, I went out for dinner and left my phone at home."

Pause. A long pause.

"But it went ok?"

Pause.

"That's what we expected though, right?"

Pause.

"I'm going to be the head of PR for the Pens starting tomorrow. Jennifer is going on maternity leave so I'm going to step in and help them out. I'll need to see how much attention I get from the media before I can actually do the job."

Pause.

"There's nothing that you can do Matt. You can't deal with all of it yourself. I'll get through it just like you will. Soon something else will catch their attention and then it will be over."

Pause.

"Ok, you too, bye."

She disconnects and smiles at me.

"The interview went well, as well as it could, and this is just the feeding frenzy wanting dirt. Nothing unexpected happened. It took them a little while to dig up my new cell number."

"Did you and Jen talk about what might happen with the press?"

"Briefly" she tells me. "We'll talk about it more tomorrow. There are options. I could stay away from the press and use Adam in my place directly with the media. Of course the hockey guys may just ignore all of the political crap and treat me like they used to do."

"As long as it's not Rossi."

She chuckles as I hoped she would.

"Yeah, he's still such an ass" she tells me and then sighs.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm going to be back tomorrow" she says.

"Are you concerned about it?"

"A little bit. Last time I was with the Pens, I was an intern and now I'm coming back in a different capacity. It can sometimes be difficult to make the transition."

That's what she's worried about.

"Anna you're going to be great. It's ok if you have a learning curve. No one expects you to jump right in and fill Jen's shoes."

I can tell from the look in her eyes that I've said something wrong but I have no idea what it is.

"Sid, my concern is with others being able to make that transition and change how they view me. I know that I can do the job."

Oh. Ok. That's great. Why is she ticked off with me?


	39. Chapter 39

Anna

"Thank you so much for meeting with me Jen" I tell her at the end of our conversation. "I hope that I can do a fraction of what you do."

"Just because there is more of me doesn't mean that I do the job of two people" she says as she rubs her very pregnant stomach.

"Ha ha" I reply. "Seriously though, I'm a little nervous about taking over PR for the Pens from you."

"You're hardly an intern anymore Anna. You're going to rock it and I'll be a phone call away if you need me but you won't."

She tries to stand, takes three tries, but falls back each time. I look at her and incline my head to which she answers with a nod. After helping her out of the chair, we leave her office, now my office and walk down the hall. The PR team is all sitting around their common table in the bull pen apparently to wait for us. When we approach, they all get up and encircle Jen. Adam is first of course.

There are lots of hugs and everyone seems to be chatting at once. I've missed this organized chaos. I didn't realize how much I missed these people and this job. It's like a family. We spend so much time together eating, living and travelling that it's not just the players who grow closer. The coaches, equipment staff, trainers, and our PR team all grow closer too.

When Adam slips away from the pack, he walks over and stands next to me.

"Nice to see you, boss" he says with a dose of sarcasm.

"That's Ms Boss to you" I rejoin.

"Not Mrs. Crosby?"

"Adam!" I shush him under my breath.

"Sorry" he says. "But we really need to grab a drink so you can tell me everything."

"Ok, we can talk, but I'm not telling you everything so don't ask."

He chuckles and replies "ok fine. But I want to hear some of it at least. I'm surprised that you and that fine man have even made it out of the bedroom."

"Adam!"

I shush him again to which he waves his hand at me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. I'll stop here but we are getting that drink and picking up where we left off."

"On a business note" I begin. "The only thing that we can't figure out is if the media here is going to make me a story or if they will ignore that I'm here and part of a major story in Pennsylvania."

"I don't know for sure Anna but my gut tells me that they'll ignore that you're here. At least the story about you part. I think that they are going to be very excited to have you back. They always liked you."

"That's good news" I look at my watch. "Because we need to head downstairs and get ready for the scrum after practice. The guys should be on the ice in the next thirty minutes or so."

We all say our last goodbyes to Jen and she waddles off. She looks so happy.

"Ok everyone" I say to the team. "We're going to go down for the media scrum and then we'll have a team meeting. Please be prepared to talk about the upcoming road trip, ok?"

Everyone smiles and nods then goes back to their desks. I take the familiar walk down the hall and then the elevator to the ice level. When I walk into the hall outside the locker room, the familiar stench the hockey equipment hits me. I've been nostalgic all morning but this is one thing that I haven't missed. The smell is nauseating.

I walk faster until I'm in the player's lounge where most of the guys are eating breakfast. When Pascal notices me, he stands and starts clapping slowly. Kris sees me and joins in clapping. The rest of the guys, coaches and trainers too, stand and clap. It's really, very sweet. I almost lose it when I see Sid smiling at me from across the room. Very, very sweet.

"Thank you all" I tell them. "I'm happy to be back."

A few of the guys that I knew well, and haven't seen since I came back, each hug me and say some very kind words to me. It's a little overwhelming but very kind.

The room clears out and it's only me and Sidney remaining. He walks to me and kisses my cheek.

"How is your first day going?" he asks me. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Sidney. It's been good so far" I tell him and smile back. "The real test is going to be the media scrum. We'll see how they react to me being here."

"It will all be fine" he tells me and kisses my cheek again. "Let me know if you need me for anything, ok?"

I agree but am left wondering what he means as he goes to the locker room to finish getting dressed for practice. What would I need him to do for me? It's a sweet offer but weird. I shake it off and walk down the tunnel to ice level. I want a few minutes to collect myself and it's been a while since I've watched a practice. The stands seem like a perfect place to do both.

They'll be on the ice for thirty or forty minutes since they're playing tonight and then we'll have the media scrum. The guys most likely will have meetings and watch film after that, Sid will go home for his nap and I'll be here all day and night. It's going to be a long few days until the road trip. Everything is going well here but there's a lot to catch up on in both process and people. It's a whole new intern team from my time so I'm very grateful that Jen hired Adam on full time. He's going to be indispensable to me.

Oh shit. I never thought about whether Adam may have wanted this job or not. He might have thought that he would step in for Jen in her absence. I really need to talk to him about it and soon. He seemed really happy to see me so hopefully he's ok with it.

The whistle on the ice brings my attention back to practice where the guys start doing line rushes. Sid is with Patrick and Conor. They have been Sid's wingers ever since they won the Cup. He hates change so I'm glad they are still working out for him. He had Chris and Pascal as his wingers for years until Pascal had to retire. The then-new coach, Sullivan, played around with the lines until settling on Patrick and Conor which proved to be great chemistry. They've been together for years now. It's that stability that Sid craves and plays best when he has it.

My eyes follow Sid's movements around the ice. He has incredible speed and grace when he skates that it's hard not to watch him. When they finish their rush, he stops at the end of the ice and then laughs at something Patrick says to him. I think he's happiest when he's on the ice. Ok, after our 'reunion,' maybe he's not the happiest but …

"If you smile any wider your cheeks are going to split" Adam says interrupting my thoughts as he sits beside me.

"Hi" I reply. "I've missed watching practice."

Adam raises one eyebrow.

"Fine" I tell him. "I miss watching Sid practice."

"Just practice?" he asks sarcastically.

"Ha, my lips are sealed, at least right now they are" I reply cheekily.

Adam looks stunned for a few moments.

"Anna" he says in a fake southern accent. "That's down right scandalous."

We both start laughing until there are tears in our eyes. It's so good to see him again and I'm very grateful that he's here. Oh, that reminds me.

"Adam" I begin when we both regain our composure. "Please be honest with me. Were you hoping to fill in for Jen when she went on maternity leave?"

He purses his lips for a moment.

"Ok, honestly, yes. I was hoping that I was going to fill in for her" he tells me. "We never talked about it or anything so it's not like you're taking 'my job'."

"Ok, I was a little worried. You know I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I know that girl."

"Good" I tell him and turn my attention back to the ice.

They are having a shoot-out and it's Sid's turn next. He roofs it high glove and it goes in of course.

"Don't you just want to jump him when he does that?" Adam asks.

"Actually" I tell him. "It's when he has the puck and he's running some guy around chasing Sid behind the net. All the speed, hard turns and edge work. That's when I want to jump him."

We both laugh again. It feels good to be able to gossip with a friend about my relationship with Sid.

"They'll be finishing up soon" I say. "We should get down to the locker room."

"You don't have to Anna" Adam says as we walk down the stands. "We're a well-oiled machine. I've been handling Sid's scrum for Jen for a while now and the other interns know their jobs."

"Thanks Adam but we've got to do this sometime and I'd rather just rip off the band aid all at once. The media know that I'm back so I want any questions or issues to come up during practice and not at tonight's game."

"Ok" he says and smiles. "I'll go get them."

"Actually" I begin. "Let me. This way, if there's a feeding frenzy, then it's contained away from the team."

He nods and we part ways at the end of the tunnel. I take a deep breath before going into the media room and to try to get ready for anything.

I walk into the room and, before I can speak, one of the guys who has been covering the Pens for over twenty years notices me. Then another reporter notices him noticing me. Quickly, a hush fills the room and everyone is looking at me. I take another deep breath but there isn't any time for me to say anything.

First one reporter begins to slowly clap, then another, then another and then another just like the players did. Faster and faster they clap until they're cheering too. A few yell 'welcome back.' I put my hand up hoping to quiet them. It does.

"Thank you so very much. Wow, I'm overwhelmed by your reception. Thank you" I tell them and feel my eyes getting wet. "We'll be opening the scrum in a few minutes."

Everyone closes computers and gathers their things so I turn to leave the room. I don't go very far before I hear my name.

"Anna!"

It's Dan Potash.

"Hi Dan. How are you?"

"Good, good" he gestures for me to follow him a few feet away.

When we're definitely out of earshot of the media room, Dan speaks in a low tone.

"Anna, just so you know, the old guys have taken some of the new guys aside to make sure that all they're going to talk about is hockey. This is a hockey team, they're hockey players, and we watch hockey games. There's no need to talk about anything else" he tells me.

I quickly understand what he means. The reporters have basically policed themselves and made sure that no rogue reporter is going to question me about politics or make the story about me.

"Thank you Dan" I tell him sincerely. "I truly appreciate it."

He winks and then goes back to the media room while I continue on to the locker room. I find all of the interns outside of the room and they turn, as a group, when they hear me walking up. It's odd because they are silent.

"HI" I tell them. "Everything ok?"

They look at each other until one of the girls, Laurie I think, speaks for the group.

"Did you want to talk to us before the scrum?" Laurie asks.

Oh. They are as uncertain as I am. We're getting to know each other so there is going to be situations and processes that are uncertain.

"No" I tell her and then look around at the team. "You are all very good at your jobs and I don't want to get in the way of you doing them. We'll have a team meeting this afternoon to talk about the upcoming road trip but, as to the day to day, you guys have it nailed."

They just continue to look at me.

"Seriously guys, unless you need me for something, go do your jobs" I tell him with a smile.

I receive some tentative smiles back then they each walk into the locker room and into position so that they are ready for the media. As I watch them, I can see what Jen meant when she told me the PR team is great. I see some of them chatting together clearly figuring out who is going where for the scrum. Some are in position waiting for their player.

The players begin to trickle in shortly followed by some of the reporters. Adam reminds the media who which players will answer questions and they get into position. Some have already walked directly to Sid's stall because he always speaks to the media.

I'm observing the room, trying to ignore the stench that becomes stronger with each player that comes in, when I feel someone walk up to me. When I turn, I'm surprised to see that it's Sid.

"Hi" I say confused.

"Is everything ok?" he asks me.

It has not gone unnoticed in the room that Sid came directly to me rather than his stall when he entered.

"I'm fine Sid. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just want to make sure that no one has been bothering you with questions" he tells me.

"Sid, I'm fine. Please go to your stall where Adam and the scrum are waiting for you."

He looks surprised for a moment and then narrows his eyes as he continues looking at me. It's almost like he's trying to see right into me. He must like what he sees because he turns and walks to his stall for interviews. Why is he acting so weird?

Sidney

I know that I need to focus more on the questions being thrown at me but my attention keeps diverting back to Anna. I hope that she really is ok. Our core media group won't make her the story or bother her but there are always a few reporters who get credentials and are unknown.

"Sid?"

I glance up and everyone around me is looking at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry" I say. "Would you repeat the question?"

The reporter does and I force myself to focus on the question and my answer then staying present during the rest of the scrum. Adam must notice that I'm unfocused because he ends it soon after.

"Everything ok Sid?" Adam asks me when we're alone.

"Yeah, thanks Adam. There's just lots going on right now. Sorry that you had to step in like that."

"Don't worry about it Sid."

He smiles and walks to the locker room doorway to stand beside Anna while I take off my equipment. Anna looks at me and frowns. Oh no, is something wrong?

Adam and Anna are gone before I can stand and walk to her. I'll have to catch up with her after lunch and see if she's ok. It has to be a difficult day for her. When I talked to Adam earlier, he said that he would look out for her and make sure she's ok. It took a little while but in the end he promised to text me if anything happens too.

"Want to grab some food before the meeting?" Sheary asks me.

"Yeah, sure" I tell him.

We walk to the change room and put on shorts and tee shirts before going to the player's lounge. In the lounge, the caterers have set up lunch for us and some of the guys are already sitting down and eating. Sheary and I grab some food and sit with the others. As soon as we're sitting down, Geno stands up.

"Ok, ok, you guys. Quiet" he tells us. "Russia is taking over."

We all look at him confused. Sometimes Geno still has trouble with his English but he doesn't seem to be struggling right now.

"Taking over?" Tanger asks.

"Yes, too many French babies around here" Geno says.

Tanger stands and hugs G. I still don't get it. Tanger looks at us and raises his eyebrows.

"Anna's pregnant" he tells us.

Oh. Geno is going to be a dad again so there's more Russian babies. We all stand and take turns congratulating Geno on the good news. Wow, he's going to be a dad again. I wonder how soon Anna wants to have kids. Maybe we should talk about getting married first. Ha, maybe we should get her moved in first. We need to do it right this time and not rush everything or get ahead of ourselves.

After I've finished lunch, I text Anna to see how her day is going but she doesn't text me back. I wait for a few minutes and, when she hasn't responded, I call her. I begin to worry when it goes to voicemail. There's only ten minutes until the team meeting but maybe I have enough time to run upstairs.

"I'll be back" I tell Sheary.

The elevator will take too long so I run up the stairs. When I don't see Anna in her office, I walk by the intern's bullpen. It's empty too. Shit. Where is she? Double shit, I'm going to be late for the meeting if I don't go back downstairs right away, so I jog toward the stairwell. As I go around a corner, I almost walk directly into Anna.

"There you are" I tell her.

"Yes, I'm here. What's wrong?"

"I sent you a text and called but didn't reach you" I tell her. "I got worried. Are you ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be ok Sid? I'm fine, just super busy since it's my first day and we're planning for the road trip."

Oh. I feel relief run through me knowing that she's fine.

"Ok" I tell her and look at my watch. "I have to go. I'm late for the team meeting."

"Ok" she says.

I run down the stairs and to the team meeting room. When I walk in, everyone turns to look at me, everyone being all of the players and coaches, turn around to look at me surprised. I'm almost never late for team meetings and, when I am, it's usually because of something that I couldn't control.

"Sorry guys" I mumble and take my seat.

Shit.

Sully starts the video and talks about the play. I have to make an effort to stay focused on the video and what the coach is saying. It's weird how hard it is to stay present today.

After the meeting, we each get changed and head home to nap. Before I leave, I text Anna to let her know and this time she responds. She's going to stay at the rink before the game so I head home alone. The rest of the afternoon is familiar and I'm basically on autopilot going into the house, changing and crawling into bed for my before-game nap.

I wake to my alarm slightly disoriented. It's only when I turn the alarm on my phone off that I remember I'm having my pregame nap and we're playing tonight. It's going to be Anna's first game back and I'm excited to have her there. I feel like I'm back in juniors and my girl is going to come to the game. Anna will be working of course but she'll be able to watch too.

Just like when I came home, I'm on autopilot getting ready for the game too: shower, dress, grab a bottle of water, drive to the rink, change into warm up gear and have my meal of pasta. When I sit down with some of the guys, Geno is actually showing around a picture of the ultrasound Anna had this afternoon. He's convinced that he can see a penis and that it's a boy but there is no way you can distinguish that in the picture. The only noticeable body part is the head. The body looks kind of like a tadpole so the guys with kids start chirping him.

Warm up goes as usual too. There's a run on the treadmill, stretches, muscle activating activities and then the two-touch soccer game. When I'm out, I make my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I turn from the fridge, I'm excited to see Anna.

"Hi" she says.

"Hi yourself. How was your afternoon?"

"Good, busy, really busy, but good. I met with the team and then had a chat with everyone individually. The road trip is prepared and we're ready to go after practice tomorrow. It's all handled."

"Has anyone said anything about, you know?" I ask.

"Everyone has been great Sidney. They're all very welcoming and friendly and helpful getting me up to speed. In some ways it feels like I never left."

I feel relief wash over me. No one has given her trouble about the break up with Matt or coming back here to be with me. We can just focus on ourselves.

"That's great babe" I say and lightly kiss her lips.

"Sandwich time?" she looks down at the PB&J I'm holding.

"That's how you knew where to find me, right?"

Anna and I both laugh. Before a game it's easy to find me because I do the exact same thing at the same time at every game.

"I'll be at press level for most of the game but will be in the locker room afterward" she tells me.

"How long will you need to stay afterward?"

"Um, I'll want a quick chat with my team but that's it. I have some reading to do but thought I'd do it at home."

"Home?" I say. "I like the sound of that."

She smiles and replies "I do too."

"So I'll just meet you at home after the game?"

"Sounds good although I will see you before then."

"Ok."

"Ok" she says, looks around and then kisses me.

It's not a quick kiss. The moment her lips touch mine I feel the spark and the kiss quickly deepens.

When we part, I calculate how much time we have for a quickie. Not only isn't there enough time but it will also mess with my pre-game.

"Not enough time" Anna says.

"You're reading my mind" I tell her.

She gives me a quick kiss and says "later."

I can't help myself from watching her walk away.

"You going to eat sandwich or you hungry something else" I hear Geno say as he comes into the kitchen.

"Both" I answer surprising him.

I rarely talk about my personal life, even with the team, but there are no secrets about me and Anna anymore. Maybe it's time to talk to the guys at least.

Geno laughs at me, slaps me on the back.

"That's ok" he says. "You just be good, ok? Be good to her."

It seems that Geno is still protective about Anna.

"I will G, I promise."

He stares at me for a few moments then smiles.

"Ok then" he says and walks away.

I guess he's ok with it.

Anna

They won the game and all of the PR activities went well. I got to see the interns in action again and they are great. It's going to be a good season.

I see Sid's car as I pull into the garage. I was a little longer than I thought I was going to be. It wouldn't exactly be a good thing for the boss to leave before the rest of the team so I waited for everyone to clear out. Sid wanted to wait for me but I told him to go home. We had two cars at Consol so it made no sense for him to wait.

As I think back, Sid's been acting weird all day. If I didn't know him better I'd think that he was being clingy or overprotective.

"Anna?" I hear Sid call down from the bedroom when I enter the house.

"It's me" I reply. "Who else do you think it would be?"

I chuckle as I walk up the stairs and into the bedroom. When I see Sid sitting in bed, shirtless, watching TV, I feel all of my fatigue fall away. Hmm, maybe I'm not tired after all. I do know that I feel gross and grimy. A shower is definitely required.

"Good game" I tell him. "Two assists, not bad."

"Not bad huh?" he raises and eyebrow.

"Well, Geno had two goals so …"

"Yeah, from my assists."

"That's why I said 'not bad' Sidney."

We both chuckle.

I strip off my jacket and shoes then untuck my shirt from my skirt. I notice that Sid is watching me so I slowly unbutton my blouse and watch his eyes follow my fingers. Maybe I'll have some company in the shower.

When all of the buttons are undone, I let the blouse slowly slide off of my shoulders, down my arms and to the floor. Sid's eyes skim over the exposed skin and linger on my breasts. I trace the swell of my breasts and watch his eyes follow my fingers.

I reach behind my back, unzip my skirt and let it fall down to the floor. Sid's eyes widen and then take in the rest of my naked flesh. I shiver as his eyes grow wider and darker. My skin is itching to have his fingers on me, then his lips, then his tongue. Oh wow, the need is clawing, desperate inside of me.

"I need a shower" I say in a low and breathy voice.

Sid's eyes find mine.

"Want to wash my back?" I ask.

He doesn't speak. All he does is nod and get off of the bed. I leave my clothes on the floor and walk into the bathroom. Sid comes in behind me and goes directly to the shower. When it's running and steam begins to fill the room, Sid walks toward me and stops directly in front of me, as close as he can without touching me.

I reach up, slowly, and slide each bra strap off of my shoulders. That done, I reach behind and unhook my bra. Loose, it quickly falls to the floor and I'm only wearing panties. I shiver when Sid's fingers lightly skim over my waist and tuck inside the waistband. He slides them off of my hips and slowly down my legs until he's kneeling in front of me. I step out of my panties.

Sid slowly kisses across my stomach making me shiver. I have to reach down and hold onto his shoulders as his lips slide lower to the junction between my legs. He nuzzles in slightly and his tongue slips out to flick over my clit. I shiver and moan this time but Sid stops. He stands and pushes down his shorts so that he's naked too.

Sid reaches for my hand and pulls me with him until we're both in the shower. The water is hot and feels so good on my skin. Of course Sid's hands feel better and I moan as he slides his hands up and down my sides. He pulls me closer so that my back is flush to his front and I warp my hands up and around his neck to give him better access to my body. Sid takes advantage.

When his hands start under my arms and slide down, his fingers tease my breasts and flick my nipples as they go by. He continues down over my hips, stomach and then between my legs. Stooping a little, Sid has access to slide his hand between my legs and his fingers between my folds. I'm biting my lip but I'm distracted when I feel his hard dick slide down from my lower back, between my ass cheeks and then lower when his hips tilt. When his finger flicks over my clit, I almost come completely undone.

I tilt my head back against his shoulder so Sid has access to my neck where he alternately kisses, bites and licks the soft and wet skin he finds there. I'm on sensory overload very quickly. The hot water rushes over my body, Sid's hard muscles push against the soft skin of my back, his fingers slide and flick over my clit, he slides up and down slightly between my ass cheeks tilting into me over and over, and his mouth, holy fuck his mouth, on my neck. The softness of his lips, firm pressure of his tongue and his hard, short nips drive me wild.

Sid has to wrap an arm around me to hold me up when he slips two fingers inside of me, deep and fast. Every time he pulls his fingers in and out, the palm of his hand pushes on my clit stimulating me everywhere. Over and over, he moves his hand which rubs his body against mine, everywhere. Fleetingly I'm aware of the pleasure of his hard dick rubbing against my ass in a weird, unfamiliar, but incredibly pleasurable way.

"Cum for me" Sid whispers in my ear and bites down on my lobe, hard.

I do as Sid commands and come completely apart in his hands. I'm vaguely aware of collapsing as I shiver and shake. When I become aware again, it's through the sensations and feelings of everywhere Sid's body is touching mine.

I notice that we are on the shower bench and I'm sitting on Sid's lap facing away from him. One of his arms is crossing my body and his hand possessively holding my breast. His other hand is still between my legs and his fingers on my clit hard but not moving. My legs are very wide, almost uncomfortably so, because he's spread them with his huge thighs. Unconsciously I shift my hips to get more comfortable and his still hard dick slides between my legs, ass to the entrance where I need him most. I moan, loud, desperate to feel his length inside of me.

"Lean forward" Sid orders me and his hands go to my waist to direct me.

I do it, shifting so that my hips are tilted, and reach between us to guide him inside of me. Sid pushes me slightly more forward and fills me completely, uncomfortably, deeper than I've ever felt before. When he thrusts, it's even more uncomfortable. Sid must notice because he stops.

"What's wrong?" he asks breathlessly.

"One minute, I'm ok, just stay still" I tell him and settle back down on him so that he's completely filling me again but stationary.

I wait until I've fully stretched and become use to the deepness so that most of the uncomfortable feeling passes and I just feel full and needy. I rock so that he slides out slightly and then back in. Repeating this action acclimates me to the new position and the discomfort completely disappears until all I feel is the most intense pleasure I've ever felt from penetration alone. His hands are holding my waist lightly to let me take the lead. I shift again so that he almost completely pulls out and then thrusts inside again, deep, and I'm only in ecstasy.

"Now" I tell him.

Sid understands and takes over again. He pulls out and then pushes inside where he waits, probably to gauge my response.

"More" I cry out. "Please, Sidney, more."

I know that I'm begging him, and so does he, but he doesn't make me wait. Sid sets a hard and fast pace that has me climbing high again. I push back and meet him thrust for thrust. He shifts slightly and the head pushes against the front wall of my vagina with each new thrust.

"Ahhhh" I cry out feeling my orgasm about to overtake me.

Then Sid stops and I feel my orgasm slide away, just out of reach, and I cry out again feeling bereft because he's completely pulled out.

"Sid?!" I say in a mixture of need and desperation.

He pushes me so that I'm standing and says "turn around."

When I'm facing him, Sid scoots forward so that I can straddle him again, only facing him now. His eyes are dark, almost black, and the heat inside of them goes directly to my core. I cup his cheeks so that I can look directly into his eyes.

"I love you so much" I tell him.

He smiles and kisses me, slowly, tenderly, and I melt against him pouring everything I feel into our kiss. I can feel everything that Sid feels in the kiss too. It's a perfect moment.

Sid pulls away and says "I love you. I love you more than I knew was even possible."

With my eyes still on Sid's, seeing the depth of love and passion, I shift and then moan as he completely fills me again. Sid lets me set the pace this time and I slowly rock against him, back and forth, so that he enters in shallow thrusts.

This time my orgasm builds slowly, almost imperceptivity in the beginning. I can hear and see Sid's breath quicken and feel my own do the same. I'm acutely aware of every feeling, every touch, and every moment. The moments lengthen even as everything else speeds up. We are the only two people in the world and I'm not even aware of the steam enveloping us or the hot water running down my back. I'm only aware of Sidney and our connection.

My pulse quickens, as does my breathing, so I quicken the pace too. My nipples brush over his chest as I pull him closer and the friction is incredibly exciting. His hands slide down to my hips, over my ass cheeks and pull my hips a little further apart. Sid slips in a fraction deeper and hits that deep, aching spot inside where I need him the most. I cry out and dig my fingers into his shoulders. Sid groans and I know that sound means he's close. I speed up the pace until I'm actually grinding down on him, hard, which sets me off.

This orgasm fills my entire being, my soul, and connects me with this man in a way I've never had with anyone else. I am peripherally aware that Sid is holding me tightly to his body as we each shudder and ride our orgasm. We remain in each other's arms as we come down from the highest of highs.

I pull back slightly and see that Sid is smiling at me.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi back" I tell him.

I can tell that neither of us want to move but, suddenly, a wave of exhaustion washes over me and I yawn.

"I'll try not to take that personally" Sid tells me as he chuckles.

"Funny" I tell him.

Sid helps me stand and then follows me. I turn and dunk myself under the water. When I turn back, Sid reaches up and rubs shampoo into my hair so I shut my eyes and enjoy his gentle touch. I rinse and he repeats with conditioner this time. Before he can start soaping my body, I take the bar from him and wash myself. If he touches me then we may never get out of this shower. I'm so tired that I might have to sleep in here.

We are quickly done bathing and drying off then Sid goes into the bedroom while I dry my hair. I actually find myself humming I'm so happy. I have work that I love, I'm no longer directly in the public eye and I'm finally with the man I'm meant to love forever.

Sid is sitting on the bed, where I first found him when I got home, when I go into the bedroom. My clothes are no longer on the floor so Sid must have picked the up for me. It's such a 'couple' thing to do and very sweet.

I take one of Sid's tee shirts from the drawer to sleep in. It smells like him which makes me smile.

"I need to arrange to have my things packed and moved here" I say.

"I can have it taken care of for you" Sid says. When I look quizzically, he continues "the Pens' travel team can take care of it. They do it when I move back and forth in the off season."

"Oh, I can talk to them."

"It's no problem. I can help."

That reminds me of how weird he's been all day.

"Sid, can I ask you something?"

"Sure babe."

"Was their something bothering you today?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for example, when I didn't respond right away to your text or answer your call, you came looking for me and seemed worried."

"It's not like you to ignore a text or call so I worried."

"Sid, I was in the same building as you were and in the middle of meetings with my team. Why would anything have been wrong?"

He frowns and I can tell that he's thinking.

"It was your first day back" he says. "I wanted to check in with you and make sure that you were ok. We didn't know how the media was going to react or what your team was going to think and I wanted to help if you needed it."

I guess that makes sense. It was my first day back and I was overwhelmed at times during the day.

"Ok" I reply and lean over to kiss him. "Thanks."

I crawl into the bed beside him and turn on my tablet. The team is ready for the road trip but there is still so much that I haven't read and need to review. The PR team is great but I need make sure everything goes seamlessly and there are details that I don't know.

I lose track of time and am surprised when the lights turn off.

"What?" I say and look up.

"You've been yawning and rubbing your eyes for the last hour" Sid tells me. "You need sleep."

He's right. My eyes feel like they have grit in them and I can't doubt that I'm tired as I yawn.

"Ok" I tell him.

I turn off my tablet and snuggle into my pillow. Sid pulls the comforter over us both and snuggles down beside me on his own pillow.

"This is awesome" Sid says softly.

"What is?"

"Everything. Shower sex and sleeping with the woman I love. It's awesome."

"Awesome huh? Ok, that's a great word. It is awesome."

Moments later I notice that Sid's breathing has slowed. I've always admired his ability to fall asleep at will. It's unnerving how easily he does it. Although it takes me a little longer, I fall into a deep sleep too.

Author's Note: Still having some wrist trouble so I need to write short pieces at a sitting. Also watching lots of hockey. Stanley Cup is in the house tonight!


	40. Chapter 40

Anna

The road trip did not start well. First, how can my luggage get lost when it's a private plane? Well, they managed it so now I'm left scrambling for clothes. At least we're in New York City so there are a lot of nearby options to buy replacement clothing. Second, the communications team lost the morning's footage from player interviews and now wants our team to juggle the PR schedule so that they can reshoot. Finally, as if I needed anything else to happen on my first road trip, Mario has come on this trip and asked if Sid and I can join him for dinner tonight. Not only do I have more to do right now than anticipated but less time to do it in since I'll be spending a couple of hours with Mario!

"How can I help?" Adam says in a low voice beside me.

I immediately want to say no and that I'm fine; but, I need to remember that I have team for a reason and I need to let them help me.

"Let's go upstairs" I tell him.

We travel up in the elevator with a couple of the players going to their hotel rooms to unpack. The players will have dinner together but we usually do our own thing, thankfully, so no one will notice if we don't join them.

Shit! I may not be joining them but I have to meet with Mario and Sid for dinner so I will be busy. My mind is so full right now that things are falling out.

"Can you drop your stuff off and meet me in my room?" I ask Adam.

"Sure, give me a few minutes."

I go to my room while Adam goes to his across the hall. With nothing to unpack except my briefcase, I take out my phone to figure out what I can do next.

'What time is dinner?' I text Sid.

'7pm' he replies.

'Meeting at the hotel or restaurant?'

'Hotel lobby. What room are you in?'

I know exactly what Sid wants to do when he comes to my room so I put a pin in that immediately.

'I'm not telling. I have to work before dinner. Sorry'

I add a frowny face.

'Spoil sport' he texts back.

'ttyl xo' I respond.

There's a knock at the door so I put my phone down.

"Come in" I tell Adam and stand back so that he can do so.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

I smile and say "define ok?"

He laughs and sits at the table. I join him.

"Ok, seriously, there are a few big things that need to get done so I'll need everyone on deck" I tell him.

"Before I came in, I sent out a mass text and asked everyone to stay put for the next thirty minutes in case we need them."

"Good thinking" I tell him. "The most pressing thing is that the Comm team needs to reshoot the footage they lost this morning."

"They lost it all?"

"Yeah, the tech guys tried to recover it but the drive was damaged beyond repair because it was submerged in water."

"How did it get submerged in water?" he asks.

"Let's not go there" I reply.

Adam rolls his eyes because he understands that it was their own fault and now we need to bail them out. We are more of a team than those on the ice and this is how we help other team members.

"We need to evaluate the full schedule for the next two days and see where we can adjust. Do you have the amount of time and players they need?" I ask.

"Yeah, I have the details for the footage and the current media schedule."

I think for a few minutes about how to handle this and decide that it's time to test the interns.

"Let's give this to a few of the interns. Too many and it will be a disaster so please choose the top two or three that you think are ready for this kind of assignment."

"You want me to delegate the assignment?" he asks surprised.

"You know them better than I do" I tell him. "You're ready for it too Adam."

He smiles at me and nods.

"Good" I tell him. "Can you talk to them and make sure they're on the right track then come back here?"

"I can. What else do you need me for?"

"They lost my suitcase so I need clothes" I tell him. When his eyes start twinkling and he smiles widely, I continue quickly. "This is not a pleasure trip of shopping. We're going to one store to get everything I need and that's it. I'm hoping that it will go faster if you're with me. Don't make me regret that" I finish and shake my finger comically at him.

"Yes ma'am" he tells me. "Give me ten minutes and then I'll be back."

He leaves with purpose and I set up my laptop and begin going through email. I'm almost down to fifty unread, success!

The knock on the door startles me. Adam took less time than he thought so I grab my purse and door key. When I open the door, instead of walking out, I'm pushed back in by Sid. Before I can react, he's pushed me up against the wall and his lips are attacking my neck.

"Sid" I say and push him back.

"Come on, we have time before dinner."

He leans down again and his lips attack my neck again. It takes a little more effort to push Sid back but he takes a step backward this time and furrows his brows.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing's wrong" I tell him. "I just have a lot to do before dinner. I'm sorry but I don't have time."

"Are you sure it's nothing that can wait?" he grins at me.

I smile back and say "no. There's a few things that need to be taken care of immediately."

"Like what?" he asks.

I do not have time to describe my job to him right now, even though I appreciate that he's interested, but this is not a good time to chat.

"Right now" I tell him. "Right now I have to run out to a store and get clothes since they lost my luggage."

"It's a private plane. How do they lose luggage on a private plan?"

"I have no idea but I need something to wear."

"Let me take you out."

"I appreciate it but I'm going to one store, buying the minimum of what I need and then coming back to deal with a multitude of other fires."

"Let me take you" he repeats.

I don't have time to argue and he is very earnest so I agree. The door knocks and I remember Adam. Crap.

I open the door and both men see the other.

"Sid is coming with us Adam" I tell him then I look between them. "This is a quick trip. One store, a few outfits, and we're out. I'm warning you both."

They both nod and then follow me down the hall. We find a cab in front of the hotel and I tell the driver to go to Calvin Klein. They'll have everything that I need.

On the way, Adam goes on and on about what I need to buy and even Googles the latest Calvin Klein collection.

"In, out, fast, simple" I tell him.

Adam just waves his hand to dismiss me and Sid chuckles.

We get there quickly and I almost ask the cab driver to wait for us but I don't think we'll be that fast. When we're inside, Sid follows me and Adam begins to look around. I go directly to a sales person.

"I'm Blair, how may I help you today?" she asks me.

"Hi Blair" I reply. "I'm Anna. We flew in this afternoon and my luggage was lost. I need three business outfits, probably with skirts so they don't need altering. I also need panties, one bra, and a pair of pointy toed pumps that will go with the outfits. Oh, and as fast as humanly possible. I'm a size four."

"Size four? Nice going girl" Adam says as he breezes us.

Blair stare at me for five seconds and then realizes that I'm serious.

"I can definitely help you. May I ask a few questions?"

"Yes" I reply.

She proceeds to ask me about colour, style, materials and price. I answer all except price because Sid jumps in.

"Don't worry about the price" he tells her.

Blair nods and turns back to the store. I watch for a few moments while she begins gathering clothes.

"Sid" I say in a low voice to him. "Did you come to pay?"

He blushes slightly and says "of course."

I barely manage to prevent rolling my eyes.

"I appreciate it" I tell him and kiss his cheek. "You know that I have money and can afford to buy my own clothes."

"I know" he says. "But I'm here so let me."

Again, I don't want to argue so I smile and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you" I tell him and then follow after Blair.

I find her in front of the changing rooms where she has assembled seven full outfits. There are skirts, jackets, tops, and even two dresses. I pick the ones that I want to try on and go into the change room. Blair follows me with my choices.

"Can you bring me the black dress too?" I ask. "I have a dinner tonight and that will be perfect."

She leaves and returns a few moments later with the dress then shuts the door behind her as she leaves. I immediately strip down and start trying on clothes quickly. It's easy to make decisions. They are all nice so it's what fits best which are three outfits and the black dress.

When I come out of the change room with the clothes over my arm, Adam gasps.

"You've already tried them on? I have a whole bunch here for you?" he tells me.

"Adam, I've tried on clothes, chose what I need and I'm done."

He frowns, Sid laughs and I walk with Blair to the counter.

"How are these shoes?" Blair asks holding a pair out to me.

I try them on, they fit and the heel is also very high. Perfect.

"They're great" I tell her.

"I chose some jewellery that will work too."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that, thanks" I tell her.

She shows me panties and the same bra that I'm currently wearing. How did she know that?

Two other girls join Blair at the counter and begin packing everything up for me. Sid hands them his credit card to pay and I try to calm down Adam who is very disappointed that he couldn't 'dress me' like the last time that I was in New York with him.

"Thank you" I tell Sid and kiss his cheek when we're in the cab.

"You're welcome" he replies.

"I'm available if you're in a giving mood" Adam says making us all laugh.

In my hotel room again, I marvel that we actually did the whole trip in forty-five minutes. I thought that it would take an hour with these guys in tow.

Sid hangs everything up for me while I answer the phone. It's the comm lead asking me about the scheduling. I confirm that we'll make it happen and will give him the adjusted schedule in the morning. He tries to push for it tonight but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on the team making the changes. Besides, what can the comm team do with the schedule overnight when everyone else is sleeping? They can wait for the morning.

When I disconnect the call, I find Sid sitting at the table so I sit across from him.

"Please take this in the most caring way possible, please" he tells me. "You look exhausted."

"Thanks" I tease him back. "It's going to be crazy busy while I get up to speed. Hopefully it will calm down to a regular busy after that."

"I worry about you" he tells me.

"I know you do and I appreciate it Sidney. Things are going well and I'm ok."

"If you're sure" he says.

"I'm sure."

"Do you want me to leave while you work? I can meet you downstairs in the lobby at seven o'clock."

He looks unsure of himself so I say "why don't you meet me here at five minutes to seven and we'll go down together?"

He smiles and his face clears.

"Ok, good" he says as he stands and then kisses my forehead.

I watch him walk away, he definitely fills out those jeans perfectly, then return to my laptop and try to focus on my email.

Sidney

We're on our way from New Jersey to Philly and I reflect on the past three days. The team is in great spirits because we won the games against the Rangers and the Devils. Hopefully we can beat the Flyers and make that three in a row.

I'm happy about the games but I'm also perplexed. I thought I'd get to see Anna more on this trip but she's been so busy that we've barely had a moment alone. The most time I spent with her was at dinner our first night in New York and we were with Mario. The two times I tried to spend some time alone with her, I found her room full of interns and it was chaos. I don't know how they get anything done when they're all talking at the same time. Each time she apologized and said that she would make it up to me. Right now she's in a different car on the train still working. This isn't what I had in mind when I asked her to move in. Maybe it will settle down once she's transitioned completely into the role.

I turn my attention back to the guys who I'm having lunch with and the conversation they're having. Everyone has their phones out and are showing baby pictures around. It has become a common theme around here. Even the guys who used to be the 'young ones' are now having babies. Obviously it makes me think about having my own family. It's not in the immediate plans of course but I would like to have a family with Anna soon.

I feel my phone vibrate and I'm surprised it's a text from Anna.

'Do you have plans for dinner?' she asks.

'No' I reply.

'You do now'

I have to chuckle.

'Sounds good' I reply.

'I'll text when I'm free, ok?'

'Definitely ok' I tell her.

'xo'

My mood definitely lightens as I think about having dinner with my girl. It will be really nice to have some time together, alone, and be really 'together'. I had to jerk off last night because she was busy. I hope dinner tonight includes 'dessert.'

A few of us play PSP after we've finished lunch and that takes us through to Philly. Of course we're recognized by a few people at the train station and we stop for autographs and selfies. One person booed at us, which does happen in Philly, but regardless we are on the bus and at the hotel quickly. I unpack my things when I'm in my room and change into the usual shorts and tee shirt. Andy has set up one of the hotel meeting rooms with mats and equipment for us to stretch out so I'm going to take advantage of it. My hip felt tight last night so some extra body work can definitely help.

My phone vibrates and Tanger is texting about going downstairs. I tell him yes and we meet at the elevators soon after. We stand in silence as we wait for the elevator and remain that way as we descend.

"I can't take it" Tanger says and turns to me. "What's wrong? It's been noticed that you've been odd during this trip. You seem a little better now but still weird."

Shit.

"Yeah, I've been a little out of it" I tell him.

Tanger doesn't respond, I know that he won't pry even though he asked about me, but I feel like I owe him more.

"It's been an adjustment having Anna back. I love that we're back together and that she's here; but, it's a change and you know that I don't usually like change."

Tanger nods and replies "it can be tough when you first live with someone. They're always there when you're used to have more time to yourself. It's worth it but definitely requires flexibility and change."

"That's not it Tanger. I would love to be spending more time together. It's like we aren't even together because she's been working so much. We moved in so that we could actually be together but it feels more like casual dating."

"Holy shit Sid, has it even been a week? She's suddenly in a new job, that is really a job and a half, and thrown immediately into a road trip. Man, give her some time to figure a few things out before you start freaking out, ok?"

I guess it has only been a week since Anna's been here and, even though she was with the Pens two years ago, this job is new to her. Maybe the job is too much for her to take on. It's very different than being the 'candidate's girlfriend' like she was on the campaign. I'll have to keep a close eye on her and see if she needs help.

Andy has the room set up for us and I quickly get to stretching. Tanger gets on a bike beside Murray and, after Andy greets them, he moves to me to help me stretch out. As he works my leg around to stretch out my hip he asks how it feels and adjusts based on what I say. I empty my mind, focus solely on the muscles stretching and slowly I can feel my body relaxing and the tightness releases.

"How's that?" Andy asks.

I test the muscles and the tightness and pulling is gone. Andy is a genius.

"Perfect, thanks" I tell him.

"You might want to bike it out for ten or fifteen."

"Thanks, I will" I reply.

Andy leaves me to work on Sheary and I join Tanger and Murray at the bikes. I jump into the conversation about the Steelers' chances this weekend. My phone vibrates and it's a text.

'Does an hour work?' Anna asks. 'My room?'

'Perfect' I type back.

"Anna?" Tanger asks me.

I think the smile on my face tells him everything that he needs to know. It's only been ten minutes but I want to shower before dinner so I wave goodbye and head back up to my room. After my shower, I choose jeans and a tee shirt hoping that we are eating in and, if we're not, maybe I can talk her into it. While I wait the last few minutes, I scroll through my email and answer the few important ones. One is from Taylor asking if she can come visit during a break in her schedule. She doesn't have classes a couple of days and they've cancelled practice to give the players a couple of days off.

It doesn't escape me that this is a big step. If Taylor comes to visit then she'll be staying with me; me and Anna. This is the first opportunity for them to meet and Taylor doesn't know that Anna has moved in. My parents don't know either. I'm going to need to call them and let them know but I wonder what mom will think about Anna moving in since I've never done that before. Sure, I've had girlfriends stay with me for weeks at a time but not completely combining our lives. A small voice in the back of my mind reminds me that Anna hasn't really moved in yet. She has a suitcase full of stuff and some clothes and toiletries that she's purchased.

I decide not to reply to Taylor because I need to talk to Anna first. Then I'll probably call Taylor because I don't want her to hear about Anna in an email. There shouldn't be a problem but she'd never let me forget that I didn't have the courtesy to call her if I don't.

When I notice the time, I leap off the bed, run out the door and am in front of Anna's door in five seconds. I have to force myself to knock softly. She quickly opens the door and moves back so that I can walk inside but I'm rooted to the spot.

Anna is standing there wearing only my 'Property of the Penguins' tee shirt which shows off her bare legs perfectly. Her hair is down and flowing over her shoulders. She isn't wearing any makeup and her smile shows off her plump, pink lips. She's perfect.

"Are you coming in?" she asks in an uncharacteristically husky voice.

I can't speak so I do exactly what she asks and walk into the room. As I pass, I can faintly smell her fragrance and every part of my body reacts, or rather reacts more. A few feet into the hall, I turn to face Anna barely in time to catch her launching into my arms. Her arms wrap around my neck and her legs around my waist. I encircle her waist then settle under each cheek of her perfect ass. My lips can barely keep up with hers.

I reverse our positions so that I'm holding Anna up against the wall. Her lips move across my jaw and then continue so that she's sucking on my earlobe.

"It's been too long" she whispers.

I shiver as her hot breath flows over my ear and her words travel directly to my dick. Her lips travel down my jaw and neck while she releases her legs around me and slides her body down mine. Anna's hands slide to my chest and she pushes me back. When I lean away, she continues to push me back until the bed is behind me. I'm still unable to do anything but watch her as Anna now slides down my body until she's kneeling in front of me, her nimble fingers quickly unbutton and unzip my jeans then pull them with my shorts down to my ankles. I pull my shirt over my head so that I'm naked.

With one more push from Anna, I'm sitting on the bed and her lips slide over my hard dick. Fuck, she's so hot and I have to focus so that I don't go off. I still marvel at how good she is and how well she plays my body. It's still so surprising that she's this assertive. That's when she grabs my balls and my mind shuts down completely.

I'm only aware of sensations now. Her wet, hot tongue slides up and down as her head bobs up and down too. One of her hands slowly slides up and down my thigh while her other hand lightly squeezes my balls. Her head bobs up and down but only in short strokes now. Every couple of bobs, I push to the back of her throat and sweat breaks out over my whole body.

I'm close, so fucking close, and I have a fleeting thought that I need to tell Anna I'm about to cum but my brain still isn't working fully. Her nails dig into my thigh, her hand closes with more pressure over my balls and then, fuck me, then she unsheathes her teeth and I feel friction against my dick.

The next thing that I'm aware of is Anna's lips again only kissing up my stomach and chest. I'm lying flat against the bed and a now completely naked Anna is sliding up my body. She stops when she's straddling my waist and brushes her hair off her face.

I'm again amazed at her beauty. Her hair flows over her shoulders with the tips teasing her hard nipples, her plump lips are curved in a satisfied grin and her eyes, holy shit her eyes, are dark with passion and light with mirth.

"I guess you're happy to see me" she says.

Only Anna can make me want her desperately and laugh with her at the same time.

"Maybe" I tell her.

She wiggles her hips and my now limp dick rubs against her entrance. She's drenched and I feel my body stirring again, already, but I know that I'll need a few more minutes to be completely up for more.

"You are so beautiful" I tell her and brush her hair back so that I can cup her cheeks with my hands. "You take my breath away with how beautiful you are Anna."

Her smile disappears and her eyes soften while she tilts her head so that she can kiss my palm. She cups my hands with her own and guides them down her neck, over her breast bone and down further to cup each of her breasts. When her head falls back and her breasts push into my hands, she lets out that moan that drives me wild, that I've always remembered since our first time. Rolling her nipples between my thumb and finger elicits that hot as fuck moan again.

I grab Anna around the waist and flip our positions so that she's beneath me. Before she can say anything I capture her lips and another moan. So fucking hot. I pull her hands above her head and hold them there with my left hand then slide beside her. That move allows me to slide my free hand down the centre of her body, over her stomach and between her legs. I make a quick decision and push two fingers inside quickly and deep. Her hips thrust up so I do it again. She cries out my name this time so I thrust again, in and out, again and again. My girl wants it hard and fast tonight. Wow.

I watch Anna's face while I finger her. Sweat has broken out on her forehead and over her lip. Her mouth is open and she's panting. Her hips thrust hard against my hand in the same rhythm of my thrusting fingers.

"Sid, more, God, please" she cries out.

She grabs at my wrist and pulls it away from her body completely confusing me. Anna opens her eyes and stares directly into mine.

"You, please, I need you" she cries out.

Oh.

I release her wrists and slide my body over hers settling between her legs. My thighs push hers wide apart so that I can see the muscle strain. I'm about to shift back but Anna reaches between us and guides me inside of her. I push until I can't go any further. She's so wet and hot. Fuck. This is exactly what I dreamed about last night, and the night before, and the night before. This is where I never want to leave.

I feel Anna shift beneath me, tilting her hips so that I slip out slightly and then back in.

"Sidney! Please!"

It seems my girl still wants it hard and fast so I set a pace that elicits another moan. Over and over, hard and fast, until I feel Anna's finger nails dig into my shoulders and her panting quickens. I push her legs apart further, seemingly impossible, and I get a small amount deeper which sets her off. For a few moments, I feel her walls constrict around me and relish in the pleasure; unfortunately, I can't hold on any longer so I submit to my own orgasm.

Soon after, I realize that I'm still lying on top of Anna, and I must be heavy, so I slide off so that I'm beside her on the bed. The only sound in the room is heavy breathing as we try to catch our breath.

"Wow" she says breathless.

"Yeah, wow."

"I hope you don't mind having room service for dinner" she tells me.

"You could ask me to do anything right now and I'd say yes."

"Good to know" she says. "Ok, how about shower, then dinner, and then 'anything'?"

I chuckle and turn my head to look at her and see that she's looking back at me.

"Sounds good to me" I reply.

"The usual for dinner?" she asks.

"Yes."

I take a moment to enjoy that she knows what to order me for dinner the night before a game. Of course that thought flies out of my head when she gets out of the bed, naked, and crosses the room to the phone. I don't even process what she's saying because I'm preoccupied by looking at her. Thankfully we have a shower and dinner ahead of us because I am definitely up for 'anything' right now. I need some sustenance first.

"See something you like?"

I look up at her words. She's finished on the phone, has one hand on her hip and her head is tilted. Wow, she's magnificent.

"Always" I reply.

She chuckles.

"Come on, let's have a shower."

I follow her into the bathroom and then the shower. While my hands may slip a few times, ok maybe more than a few times, there's mostly only washing going on. My stomach rumbles a few times reminding me of something else that I'm hungry for; food.

While Anna is finishing in the bathroom, I dress. I'm presentable when there's a knock at the door.

"I'll get it" I yell to Anna and then open the door.

I don't know who is more surprised when I come face to face with Adam.

"Oh" he says. "Sorry Sid. Anna asked me to let her know when we were finished so I thought I'd drop by. Can you let her know that we're done and I can fill her in tomorrow? Or I can send her an email tonight? Or I can do both?"

I let the man ramble for a few moments. He's clearly unsettled and surprised to have found me in Anna's room.

"Come on in Adam" I tell him and move back to let him pass. "We're just waiting for dinner."

Now.

"Anna" I call through the bathroom door. "Adam dropped by to see you."

Adam may be gay but I don't want him to see my girl walk out of the bathroom naked.

"Ok, I'll just be a minute."

I gesture for Adam to sit at the table and I join him. It feels awkward, hell it is awkward, but thankfully I'm good at setting people at ease.

"Did everything work out with rescheduling the interviews for the Comms team?" I ask him.

"Yeah, we were able to make it work and I think they've finished all of the interviews" Adam tells me.

"I think I'm up for the next episode."

"That's what was on the schedule that I saw. You guys really hate doing that stuff, don't you?" he asks.

Instinctively I start to disagree but, Adam is also Anna's friend, so maybe I should try being more open with him.

"I will deny every saying this" I tell him. "But, yeah, we hate doing all of these interviews. I guess we can't complain too much since we get to play the game we love."

"That's one way to look at it and probably the best."

Anna comes out of the bathroom then, thankfully in a robe, and joins us at the table where Adam gives her the update she requested. It's fascinating to watch Anna talk with Adam about work. She's clearly competent about this aspect of her job and Adam clearly respects her. It's good that she has him to help her. This job would be way too much this suddenly without help and someone having her back.

They finish up as there's knock on the door so Anna says goodbye to Adam while I show the waiter into the room to set up our dinner. When we're alone again, we both sit at the table and dig into our meals. Anna ordered mine perfectly and my stomach is very appreciative.

"Hungry?" Anna asks.

I realize that I've been eating without speaking.

"Sorry, yeah, I'm hungry" I tell her.

She chuckles and eats more of her own dinner. I notice that it's only a salad with grilled chicken and she's only picking at it.

"Is everything ok?" I ask her.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be ok?"

"You don't seem hungry."

"I don't really eat very much but I'm good."

I'm not convinced but change the subject. We talk about her moving in and redecorating a couple of the rooms for an office for her. She wants to do something with extra appliances in the kitchen but I don't cook so it doesn't matter to me. I'm actually really happy that she's making my home hers too. I started worrying earlier that we hadn't talked about it since she agreed to move in. Maybe she just hasn't had the time.

I watch her as she's talking and I notice the dark circles under her eyes and her pale complexion. Shit, I'm right, this job is way too much for her.

"Are you ok?" I ask her.

"What do you mean?"

"It's been a week since you took over for Jen so I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing."

"I'm sorry this is the first time in a while that we've been able to get together but" she begins.

"I know you've been busy and that's not bothering me. I'm worried about how you're feeling. Don't get mad at me but you look a little tired."

"I've been working a lot but that's expected" she tells me. "It will slow down when we get back home and I can find a more normal schedule."

"Ok" I reply.

Since we're both finished eating, I push back my chair and open my arms. Anna smiles, slides off her chair and onto my lap where I encircle my arms around her. She settles her head into the curve of my neck and all feels right in the world.

"Are you sure that you're doing ok?" I whisper and kiss the top of her head.

"Yes Sidney, I'm doing more than ok actually."

"I worry about you" I tell her.

"You don't have to worry Sid. In fact, I'm loving it. The team is great and, for the most part, the reporters assigned to the Pens are great too. Dan Potash has me laughing hard on a daily basis."

"I know you're enjoying it but it's a lot to handle. Just two years ago, you were an intern and now you're running the show. That's a lot of pressure and a lot of work."

She pulls back so that she can look up at me.

"What are you saying Sidney?"

"I'm just saying that it's ok to ask for help if you need it."

"Why do you think I need it?"

"Like I said, it's kinda new for you, and it's a really big role too. You were awesome as an intern, the best in the world if you ask Geno, but this role is new and different, so I just want to make sure that you're ok and that you know I'm here for you if you need help."

"Sid, everything is fine. I'm working a lot of hours, as expected, but it's great."

"Then I'm glad but I want to make sure that you know I'm here for you."

"I know that Sid and I appreciate it" she says. This time she moves completely off of my lap and walks a couple of feet away before turning back to me. "What's going on?"

Now I'm confused.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"Why are you so worried about me and my job? I know what I'm doing Sid. This isn't the first time I've worked with the media, created and implemented strategy, and worked with a team."

She stands in front of me with her hands on her hips looking annoyed. This is not going as I expected.

"I'm not doubting that you know what you're doing Anna. It can be overwhelming and highly stressful work so I just want to make sure that you know I can help you" I tell her.

"How do you think that you can help me?" her annoyance seems to be growing.

"I don't know. I've been around for a long time, I know the media and team really well, so I might be able to help out if you need it. That's all. I don't want it to be too much for you."

"And why do you think it would be? Sure, you've been around the Pens longer than I have, but you don't have experience in PR. You're used to being interviewed and that is very different than what I do. Media scrums are actually a small component of my job and the interns take the lead there. I look at the big picture, ensure that we are making all the right moves to support the PR strategy and team narrative and most of my time is spent fighting fires."

"See" I reply. "It's a huge job. I don't want you to, well" I'm not sure how to finish.

"Fail?"

Her tone catches my attention quickly because it's changed and become harder.

"No" I tell her. "Not fail. I don't think you're going to fail."

"It certainly sounds like you think I'm going to fail."

How did this go so wrong? I was just trying to offer help to my girlfriend.

"I don't think you're going to fail Anna, honest I don't. The only thing that I'm trying to do is offer any assistance I can. I love you and I worry about it."

Her eyes soften and she gives me a small smile.

"I love you too Sidney but you have to stop worrying. Everything is fine. I'm fine."

"Ok but I can't guarantee that I won't worry about you. I love you and that's never going to stop."

"Ok" she tells me and her smile widens. "Now that you have some sustenance, are you ready for a little 'anything'?"

She shrugs so that her robe slides off of her shoulders and falls to the floor leaving only gorgeous, naked skin. Yeah, I think I can find some energy for a little 'anything'.

Anna

Sidney hasn't taken his eyes off of me. As I wander around the locker room after the practice scrum, I can feel his eyes on me, following my every move. He's been watching me a lot since we got back from the road trip and it's different than his usual appreciative stare. When I catch him, he looks worried rather than sexual. I know that he loves me and that's why he worries but it doesn't make it any less distracting or annoying. I feel like I'm constantly having to prove myself to him. Everyone else has accepted me and the job that I'm trying to do in Jen's absence; but, Sidney seems to doubt my abilities and that I'm capable of doing the job. Most of the time, I simply try to ignore it but that is becoming increasingly difficult.

"I wouldn't be able to focus if I had a fine, fine man like that staring at me all day" Adam whispers as he walks up to me.

"Hmm?"

"Sid can't take his eyes off of you" he says. "So hot."

I chuckle.

"Yeah, it's hard to focus" I tell him.

"What's wrong?"

There's no one around us thankfully.

"It's not hot Adam. He worries about me so that's why he watches me."

"Oh no, a hot man who worries about you, call the police now!"

"Adam, I'm serious" I shake my head. "He's constantly watching me and, when we're alone, he asks me over and over if I'm ok. It's so annoying."

"Anna, relax, it's fine. He's just trying to look out for you because he loves you."

"I know that but it's no less annoying. We don't get a lot of time together so I don't want to spend our time together arguing about my capabilities."

"You argue?"

"Adam, I told you, it's all the time. He constantly watches me and asks if I'm ok. I seriously don't know how much I can take."

"There are more important things to worry about" he tells me.

The tone in his voice draws my immediate interest.

"What's going on Adam?"

"I caught wind that Rossi is writing an article ripping Geno apart. It's not going to look good for the organization either. What do you want to do?"

"Do you have any more information? Do we know when it's coming out? Who his sources are?"

"No, only that he does have a source inside the organization" he pauses which makes me know that there is more to this article than what he's telling me.

"What aren't you telling me Adam?"

"The reason the article hasn't come out yet is because he's taking on a new approach."

"A new approach?"

"He's changing the focus to involve you. Apparently he's going back to when you were here as an intern, your role in helping Geno with the media and everything that happened when you left."

"He's going back to all of that shit?" I ask.

"Probably so that he can bring up Sid and everything that happened back then. It makes for a more sensational story."

"Shit. Once again I've become the story."

"Only for assholes like Rossi."

"It only takes one asshole" I remind him.

Adam nods and we leave the locker room together. I need to think about how we're going to handle the Rossi story. He can write whatever he wants and we can't stop him. In fact, if we interfere then that becomes part of the story and more of a nightmare.

When we enter the intern's bullpen, I'm instantly surrounded by the team and they're all asking questions at the same time.

"Whoa" I try to say above the din and hold up my hand. "One at a time, ok?"

They all silence and look at each other.

"Can we go into your office?" I'm asked.

"Sure" I say and we all walk to my office.

They crowd in and shut the door. This must be serious.

When no one speaks, I ask "what's going on? Someone speak please."

Everyone looks at Mark so he speaks for the group.

He turns to Adam and asks "did you talk to her about the Rossi article?"

"Yes, I told her about it" Adam replies.

"Stop talking about me and start talking to me please. What's going on?"

Mark turns to me again.

"We've heard that the story has completely changed, not just a little bit like we originally thought. It isn't about Geno at all anymore, in fact, he's only mentioned peripherally as someone you worked with."

I can feel my stomach move into my throat.

"And" I say.

Mark takes a deep breath.

"And" he continues. "The article is now solely focused on you and Sid, you most specifically."

I can't speak. This is my worst nightmare happening. Not only am I becoming the story but Sid and my past is being drawn into it too. This is horrible.

"How do you know this?" Adam asks.

Mark explains how they learned about it and where the details came from but I can't focus on the conversation. My mind whirls with how we're going to spin the story when it comes out. We can't do anything to stop it because that will become part of the story too. The strategy needs to be about response and recovery.

"Are you ok Anna?" Adam asks me.

I look around the team and they're all staring at me. I'm sure they're worried about how I'm going to respond.

"Yes, I'm ok. We knew this would be a possibility given everything that's happened and only hoped that it could be avoided" I look at them.

Hmm, maybe this is a good time for an object lesson.

"What do you think that we should do?" I ask the group.

They look surprised and then glance around at each other appearing to not quite know how to respond.

"Let's ignore that this is about me" I tell them. "Pretend that it's someone else. What should we do?"

It takes a few moments but someone says that we should talk to Rossi and try to convince him not to write the story. Someone else disagrees and provides their own opinion. This goes on for a while and I have to smile because this is the kind of conversation and debate that I hoped would happen. In PR, there are often many options and all have consequences so talking through each option with others makes for finding a good solution. It takes about ten minutes but the team does make a collaborative recommendation.

Mark continues to speak for the team.

"The best option is to prepare how we'll play defense after the article is published. Anything we do before will become part of the article and fan the flame so that's not an option. The same can be said for trying to get the paper's owner to not publish. All we can do is create a plan for how we'll respond and prepare the team on the plan and messaging."

I look around at the team and they are all looking anxiously at me.

"Do you all agree?" I ask and they nod. "Good. I agree too" which causes smiles. "Now who would like to create the plan?"

Everyone wants to be involved so I choose Mark and one other and give them direction. We'll meet first thing in the morning to review the plan together. Everyone leaves my office except Adam.

"You didn't want me to create the plan?" he asks me.

Oh.

"Adam, I know that you could do it easily but I want to give the others opportunities to step up and take on new challenges" I tell him. "Besides, I want to talk to you about the Winter Classic."

Adam and I sit down and begin discussing the Winter Classic which will be in Pittsburgh this year and we'll be playing the Rangers. I want Adam to lead the event for our team which means he'll be working closely with the Ranger's and NHL's PR teams.

As we're wrapping up, my phone rings and it's the equipment manager Dana.

"Hi Dana" I answer.

"Anna, you need to get down here now" he sounds urgent. "Sid just punched Rossi."

What?!

"On my way" I say and then disconnect. "Let's go" I tell Adam as I'm rushing out the door.

I almost run through the hall and take the stairs down to ice level to get there more quickly. When I get to the player's lounge, the tension in the room is palpable. The few guys in there turn to me immediately when I come into the room.

"Where's Sid? Where's Rossi?" I ask the group.

"Rossi is in the trainer's room and Sid is in the doctor's room" Kris tells me.

I turn to Adam and say "go to Rossi. Listen to what he has to say so you can hear his point of view and maybe find out what he's going to do about it. Be careful not to give him any information that he can use."

Adam nods and walks in the direction of the trainer's room while I go directly to the doctor's room and Sid. He is sitting on the examining room table with ice on his hand and the trainer, Chris, beside him.

"Are you ok? Did you hurt your hand? You didn't break anything did you?" I ask.

"I'm ok, my hand is bruised, and no, I didn't break anything" Sid answers.

"We're going to take x-rays to be sure but I don't think that anything is broken" Chris says.

I begin to calm my fear for Sid's safety and my anger rises to replace it.

"Chris" I turn to the trainer. "Would you give us a few minutes please?"

Chris nods and quickly leaves the room closing the door behind him.

I turn to Sid and take a few deep breaths. I don't even know for sure what happened but I want to kill him just for punching Rossi. It's incredibly stupid for a man who makes his living with his hands to punch someone not to mention how stupid it is to punch a reporter. A few more breaths are needed before I can speak calmly to him.

"What happened?" I ask.

"It was stupid" Sid answers.

"Yes, if you hit him then it was definitively stupid; but, I need to know what happened and it needs to be everything Sidney. I need to clean this up and to do so I need to know everything."

Sid sighs and looks down at his hand.

"Ok" he begins. "I was coming out of the locker room and heard two of the interns talking about an article that Rossi is writing. They said that it was supposed to be about Geno but it's now about you and it really tears you up."

"Then what?"

"I went to the media room to talk to Rossi about it."

I don't respond. Instead I take a few deep breaths so that I can let him continue.

"He was there so I asked to speak with him. We went into the hall and I asked him about the article. Rossi said that he doesn't talk about his articles while he's writing them. I told him that if it was about you then he better talk to me if he ever wants another Penguins interview or comment ever."

Shit, it gets worse. He threatened him too.

"He tells me that I can't do that to him" Sid continues. "I said that I can and will if he's going to write a story about you because you aren't the story. He said that you made yourself the story when you were engaged to a politician, broke that engagement and went back to you superstar hockey ex-boyfriend. Again I told him that you aren't the story and that he should focus on the game and not the bullshit. He said that his article isn't bullshit and if you want to jump from one public figure's bed to another, and then work for this hockey team, then you are fair game for any story he wants to write. That's when I hit him."

I literally run my hands through my hair taking the bun down by doing so.

"What did you hope to achieve Sidney?"

"I wanted him to not write the article."

"Did you really think that would work?" I ask.

"I don't know. I just needed to stop him, protect you from his bullshit."

"That's the problem Sidney. You don't have to protect me. It's my job to protect the Pen's organization including players. You can't go all 'crazy boyfriend' on a reporter and I can't believe that I actually have to say that to you because you should already know better. I had a small problem on my hands because he was writing the story and now you've made it a huge, messy, complicated issue."

Sid looks stunned by my words. For a moment, he doesn't speak and it's only after a deep breath that he talks.

"Ok, I get that there's a problem now. What should I do to help out?" he asks.

"Sidney, the best thing you can do is take care of your hand and then go home for the rest of the day. Please don't talk to anyone, especially reporters, and don't go out in public. I have a feeling that this will be on the internet soon if it's not already. I need to talk to Rossi and try to fix this headache." I run my hands through my hair again. "This is not what we needed today" I say almost to myself.

Sid is quiet so I leave. I can feel my anger growing again and it will solve nothing for me to get truly pissed at him right now. First, I need to deal with the professional problem in front of me. Tonight I will deal with the personal stuff with Sid because someone needs to keep our personal and professional lives separate.

Shit.

 ** _Author's Note: thank you for reading. Was that an awesome Stanley Cup Final or what! Conn Smythe winner too! Thank you for continuing to comment. I love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the story._**


	41. Chapter 41

Sidney

Shit, that ice is cold. My knuckles are starting to bruise and it's only been four hours since I punched Rossi. I've been icing it, like both Chris and the doctor told me to do, and I've been sitting alone at home like Anna told me to do. She was right that the news hit social media quickly. There's no way to trace who posted it first but it's all over now. Pat says that his phone has been blowing up and reporters have even called my parents. It must be making everyone crazy because my phone won't stop vibrating and it's making me nuts.

What's worse is that I haven't heard from Anna. I sent her a couple of texts to let her know that my hand was ok and again when I got home but she didn't respond. I was going to call her but my saner side prevailed. If she's not texting me back then she's really pissed or really busy, or maybe both, and I don't want to aggravate her further. I know it was insanely stupid to talk to Rossi and punching him made it exponentially worse. I saw red when I heard about the article he was going to write. From that point on, it was like I couldn't control myself never mind think clearly.

For the last weeks, I've been incredibly worried about Anna, that this job is too much for her, and hearing about Rossi's article just confirmed everything I've been thinking. With her past, our past, and her family, there's too much fodder for people like Rossi to write stories about her and perpetuate the sleaze. She should probably step back and let Adam take over for her. She can advise him but stay out of public about it. I'll probably need to wait for this Rossi shit to blow over before I suggest it to her.

My stomach rumbles telling me that it's past dinner and my watch confirms it. The last thing I want Anna to have to do is make dinner when she gets home so I call delivery since I can't go out. I don't know when Anna will be home but we can reheat dinner whenever she arrives.

My phone rings but it's Duper, not Anna.

"Hi Dupe."

"What the fuck did you do kid?"

"I know, it was stupid" I admit.

"Beyond stupid Sid. What were you thinking?"

"Clearly I wasn't. Do you know what his next article is about?" I ask.

"I know Sid but you can't go around punching everyone who pisses you off or goes after your girlfriend" he tells me.

"It was going to rip her apart, Duper. I had to do something."

"It's her job to handle the press, not yours, and you've made her job infinitely more difficult Sid."

"Yeah" is all I can say.

"She's been trying to put a pin in this all day" he tells me.

"What are they going to do? Do you know?"

"All I've heard is that they've made a deal and Rossi won't speak about what happened or write an article. She's good, man. She put the pin back in the explosive."

"What kind of deal?" I ask because this doesn't sound good.

"I don't know but it has to be good and something Rossi really wants, to knock him off of his story."

Shit.

"What do I do now?" I ask.

"Whatever it is, there's going to be a lot of begging involved kid."

"Yeah, but seriously Duper, what am I going to do?"

"Listen to her, apologize, and do whatever she says."

"Any other advice?" I ask.

"Beg, beg, and then beg some more."

I chuckle.

"Ok, thanks Dupe."

We say goodbye and disconnect at the same time as I hear the garage door open. Let the begging begin.

I pour us each a glass of wine and wait for Anna in the kitchen. Her heels click, slowly, as she walks down the hall and toward the kitchen. She drops her purse and bag on a kitchen chair and lifts the glass of wine. I watch as she drinks it down and places the empty glass on the counter. She looks exhausted and even paler than at the beginning of the day. It has clearly been a very long and hard day. and I feel guilty knowing that I caused this recent headache.

"More?" I ask and point at the glass.

"Yes" is all she says.

After I refill her glass, she picks it up and takes a sip this time. We stand on either side of the counter staring at each other. I want to talk, ask how she is, but I can't think of anything that won't simply piss her off. Duper said that I'll need to beg so it's probably not a good a good idea to start by pissing her off. I watch as she walks to the kitchen table and sits. I follow silently and sit across from her.

"How is your hand?" she asks.

"It's sore but there's no damage" I reply.

At least she's talking to me now.

"Good" she replies.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask her.

I don't need to say more because she knows that I'm asking about the Rossi thing.

"There is nothing for you to do now Sidney. I've handled the organizational backlash."

It's the word 'organizational' that catches my attention. I know Anna and she is only talking professionally by that one word.

"Ok" I reply.

She stands with her wine and leaves the kitchen. I pick up my wine and follow her down the hall. At the bottom of the stairs, Anna stops and turns back to me.

"Sidney, I'm going to soak in the tub for a while."

"Need someone to wash your back?" I ask and smile trying to change her mood.

"Seriously?" she asks with a lot of incredulity in her voice, then her eyes narrow and her brow furrows. "No."

With that one, hard word, she turns and walks back up the stairs with her wine. As I try to decide what to do, the gate rings and our dinner arrives so the decision is made for me.

I take care of paying for dinner and then leave it in the kitchen. I desperately want to go upstairs and talk to Anna but her 'no' made it clear that she really doesn't want me to follow her. In the past, I've had arguments with girlfriends, some of them were even deep and lasted days, but they never felt like this. There is a fear niggling in the back of my head that threatens to turn into panic. I do the only thing that I can and grab my phone.

"Hey kid" Duper answers on the second ring. "Long time no talk."

"I need help" I tell him. "Anna came home, drank a glass of wine and then went upstairs to soak in the bathtub. She clearly told me that she wants me to be alone. Now I'm sitting here not knowing what to do. What do I do Dupe?"

"You can't force her to talk to you Sid. Carole-Lyn can go a whole day without talking to me if she's good and truly pissed. Thankfully it doesn't happen often but it has happened. You need to give her space kid."

This is not the advice that I wanted. He's been married for fifteen years; doesn't he have any better advice?

"You're not helpful" I tell him.

"Yes I am. I've told you how to put down the shovel. Remember, the first rule when you are digging yourself into a hole?"

"Yeah, put down the shovel."

"So put down the shovel Sid."

"Ok, fine, I will."

"Good. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, thanks Dupe."

I know that I should listen to him but I really want to talk this out. I'm convinced that if Anna understands my point of view, and knows that I just want to help her, then she'd be ok with what I did. Maybe she wouldn't be exactly ok but she might understand at least and be less pissed off. I also bought dinner. She must be hungry.

I go upstairs and stand outside the bedroom door. I can hear the shower running so Anna must have decided on a shower instead. She'll probably be finished in fifteen minutes, and hopefully she'll come back downstairs, so I return to the kitchen to heat up dinner.

It takes the full fifteen minutes to get dinner ready and set the table. Expecting Anna will want more, I open another bottle of wine and put it on the table too. I hear her coming down the stairs so I uncover the dishes with the food and wait.

Anna walks into the kitchen, looks over the table and goes directly to the wine to fill up her now empty glass. She takes a long drink, refills and then looks at me for the first time.

"Thank you" she says.

Her voice is neutral, like she's completely devoid of emotion, and leaves me confused. Are we going to talk? Does she want to talk? What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I'm given a clue when Anna sits down at her place at the table and waits for me to do the same. I quickly follow and hand her the bowl with the salad. We fill our plates and begin to eat in silence. It seems that Duper's advice was right and I need to let her take the lead. At least we're at the same table and eating dinner together.

"To answer your earlier question" she begins. "We made a deal with Rossi. I'm going to give him an interview so that he can write an article and he won't write about or sue for the 'altercation'."

"Sue? He was going to sue?"

"Yes Sidney, he was going to sue you and the Penguins and then write an article, maybe even a book, about it all. Now he's not."

"You need to be interviewed by that asshole? No, absolutely not!" I tell her. "There is no way that you are going to spend any time with that ass. He's not going to get anywhere near you, ever again. I'll call the Trib's owner, or have Mario do it, and put a stop to this immediately."

I take a deep drink of my wine and look at Anna. She's put her fork down, her elbows are on the table and her fingers clasped. She's sitting straight up, her eyes are dark and her expression pissed.

"Are you done?" she asks.

This tone is worse than her previous neutral one. I can hear the barely restrained rage as clearly as if I could see it sitting across from me.

"Yes" I say softly and then wait.

"There are a couple of things that we need to be clear about Sidney" she says. "The first is that I wouldn't be in a position to be interviewed by that troll if you had stayed out of the situation and let me handle it. It's only because of you that I had to make that deal."

I start to speak but she holds up her hand. Wisely I stay quiet.

"Second" she continues. "I don't work for you and I don't take orders from you Sidney. I am the head of PR for the Pittsburgh Penguins and I've spent most of my day fixing a situation that you put us in. And don't even think of trying to say that Rossi started it. My team was creating a plan to solve the issue when it was small and manageable. We were handling it."

She takes another drink from her wine and I stay silent, waiting.

"Look, Sid, it's been a very long day and I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I really can't talk this through any more today. Quite simply, I'm talked out. I'm also still pissed and don't think that continuing our conversation will be constructive tonight."

She doesn't want to talk? I'm a mess over here and she doesn't want to talk? Duper said to leave it alone and give her space but that doesn't feel right.

"Anna, I don't like the idea of going to bed mad."

She rubs the bridge of her nose and sighs.

"I don't either Sid but, honestly, I can't talk about this right now. It's probably better to go to bed mad then potentially say something that we don't mean."

She has a good point. We really don't want to say something that we can't take back.

"Ok" I agree. "In the morning?"

"Fine" she replies and gives me a small smile.

We both clean up the dishes from dinner and go upstairs, together. It looks like I won't be riding the sofa tonight.

We each go through our regular bedtime routine. It feels familiar and yet I can feel the unfamiliar tension between us. Even when we kiss tonight, it feels forced because she gives me her cheek instead of her lips.

Thankfully, I'm used to falling asleep even when extremely stressed, so I do.

Anna

I wake up at 3am and can't go back to sleep. My mind won't stop whirling and playing the day over and over in my mind. This is much more difficult than I thought it would be. I thought that it would be simple to slip back into Sidney's life and the job with the Pens fulfills my need to be useful and do the work that I love. Instead, I've been crazy busy, although I do love it, and Sid has been completely crazy. I've noticed a few times that he's been concerned and has offered to help me; but, I never anticipated that he would go so far as to punch out a reporter.

My mind won't quiet so I slip out of bed and go downstairs to the kitchen. Maybe some tea will help me sleep. The act of filling the kettle and picking out an herbal tea is soothing. While I wait for the water to boil, I sit at the breakfast bar and let my mind go. Surprisingly, it takes me to my relationship with Matt. We slipped into our relationship so easily, so simply, that I thought it would be the same with Sid. Why isn't this easier? We love each other, we want a life together and we are really together now. Why aren't we able to make this easier?

"Couldn't sleep?"

I startle when I hear Sid as he walks into the room. He's in shorts and no shirt. He must have come directly from bed when he saw that I wasn't beside him in bed.

"Yeah, thought I'd try some tea" I tell him.

As my kettle boils, Sid picks it up and fills up my cup. I swirl my teabag and watch Sid get a bottle of water out of the fridge then sit at the breakfast bar beside me.

"You couldn't sleep?" I ask Sid.

"No and then I noticed that you weren't in bed with me so I came down here."

I sip my tea while Sid takes a drink of his water. I hate this awkward silence and the tension between us. Slowly I feel the intense anger slip away and the only thing that I have left is weariness.

"Sid, you've been concerned and stressed out about me working ever since I started. Why?"

Sid takes a deep breath before he answers me.

"I want to see you succeed" he tells me. "You've jumped from being on the campaign directly into the meat of the season. It's a lot, I've seen it for twelve years and I know how much work it can be. Essentially you went from being a candidate's fiancé to leading PR for the Penguins."

I feel the anger begin to rise again.

"Sid, are you listening to yourself? I was much, much more than 'the candidate's fiancé'. I created the media strategy for the campaign, a winning campaign by the way. I'm not going to lie and say that this job is easy but I love it and I'm really good at it too. What makes you think that I can't handle it?"

I turn my chair so that I can look at him. Sid purses his lips for a moment and I know that he's thinking. That's when my question to Sid really hits me hard. The underlying problem is that Sid doesn't think that I can handle this job and doesn't trust me to do it well.

"I don't know" is all he says.

While he isn't saying why, he is answering part of my question; he's admitting that he doesn't think I can do the job.

"If you don't know then we aren't going to solve this Sidney. I need to be able to do my job without my boyfriend jumping in to rescue me. What happened today wasn't professional; it makes my job more difficult and reflects poorly on all of us including you and the Pens. Next time I may not be able to put a pin in it and negotiate our way out."

"I know" is all he replies.

I feel myself getting frustrated.

"At dinner, all you wanted to do is talk and now you say essentially nothing" I tell him.

"We disagree. What more is there to say?"

"We disagree?" I ask. "What do we disagree about?"

He looks directly at me and I know that I'm right and he thinks that I'm not able to do the job. He believes that I'm in over my head, drowning, and need his help. I don't get it. What could I possibly have done to make him thing this way?

"Anna, you are incredibly talented" he tells me.

"But" I continue for him.

"But, you are young, inexperienced and this is a hugely important job. You were an intern last time you were here."

"That was two years ago Sid. You do realize that I have more experience with the media than you do."

"I started being interviewed when I was six years old" he tells me in a condescending tone.

"I did it from birth. My father was already in politics when I was born and, even though it was city politics, there were always reporters around" the frustration I'm feeling burst through. "Why do I have to convince you of my abilities? You've always been supportive of me and my work. What's changed?"

"Nothing's changed Anna. That's the whole point! Jen has been doing PR for fifteen years and with the Pens for eight. It takes time and experience."

"Sidney, I'm not the girl I was two years ago!"

And that's the point. Sid still sees me as that girl I used to be who was a good intern but still learning how to be a PR professional. He still sees me as the meek, young, sexually inexperienced girl who relied on his experience and direction. Oh my God! Does he even know who I am now? If not, how can he possibly love me for who I am now?

Sid slides off of his chair and turns me so that I'm facing him. His hands come up and cup each of my cheeks so that I'm looking directly into his eyes.

"I know you've changed Anna" he says softly and lightly kisses me.

His lips rub against mine lightly, again and again, and I can feel his fingers tighten gently. His tongue slides out and runs along the seam of my lips to gain entrance to my mouth. I have never been able to resist Sidney and I can't now. My lips open for him to gain entrance and the kiss deepens immediately. As our lips become more insistent, Sid pushes my legs open with his body so that our centres can meet. I can feel how hard he is through his thin shorts and my panties. I'm lost.

His lips travel across my cheek and jaw until he settles on my neck beneath my ear. He nips the soft skin he finds and licks to sooth causing a shiver to flow through my body.

"I know who you are" he whispers. "I love you."

That catches my attention, not the 'I love you', but rather the statement 'I know who you are.' He thinks he does but he's demonstrated that he really doesn't. Again I wonder if he doesn't know who I am now then how can he love me now? That question throws a bucket of cold water over my libido.

"Sid, please stop" I tell him and push my hands against his bare chest.

He moves back just enough so that we can look into each other's eyes. His are confused. I suspect that mine are sad because that's how I feel. A deep sadness and pathos fills my soul as one thought fills my head: this will never work.

Sidney

When I wake up, there is morning light peeking through slates of the California shutters. Anna is gone, having left much earlier for Consol, but it's still before my alarm. I run my hand over the cool pillow where Anna's head rested hours before. We settled nothing last night. It took me a few hours before I could fall asleep after we had our 3am talk. I'm even more confused now than I was before we spoke.

I supported Anna's ambitions when she was an intern. Of course she was better than every other intern that year and Jen utilized her advanced skills to help Geno. That year was a turning point for Go. He got married and then had a son at the end of the season. What an ending that season was too: we won the Cup. Of course it was bittersweet for me, having lost the only person that I really wanted to share it with. Why can't Anna see that I love her and only want the best for her?

I'm brought out of my musings when my phone vibrates. I can only sigh when I see that it's Tanger telling me to open the gates. Fuck. It's barely morning. What the fuck is he doing here?

Quickly, I pull on shorts and a tee shirt then buzz the Frenchman through the gates. As I'm opening the front door, Tanger walks up the walkway with Duper and Flower in tow. Great, the entire French mafia is here. I guess I might as well get this over with before I have to call my parents. A quick text to say that I'm ok was good enough for yesterday but they'll want to talk to me today.

"We brought coffee" Tanger says as he passes me to walk into the house.

Flower and then Duper follow him and Duper hands me a cup of coffee as he passes. I follow the guys into the kitchen and we all sit at the kitchen table. They've clearly come with a purpose so I wait them out. Fortunately, it doesn't take long.

"I know that we talked last night but I need to hear it again to really believe it. What the fuck did you think you were doing kid?" Duper asks me.

I really don't have the energy for these guys this morning.

"Specifically?" I reply.

"Don't be an ass" Tanger says. "You know exactly what he means."

"Fine" I reply. "What would you, any of you, do if you heard that your girl was about to get crucified in the press by Rossi?"

"If my girl was the head of PR for the Pens and had already heard about the article that would eviscerate her the press? I'm hopeful that my brain would win out over my dick" Duper replies.

"Yeah right" I say.

"I said 'hopeful' but you always think before you act Sid. What the fuck?" he asks.

I sigh.

"She's struggling guys" I tell them. "Anna has never done anything this big with this much pressure before. She needs help even though she won't take it."

"She's not struggling" Flower says. "She's really doing great Sid. If you watch her, you can see why Jen chose her for the job and that she's clearly talented. If Jen decided not to come back after she had the baby then Anna could easily fill the role."

Is he crazy? I look around at all of them and they're nodding. Are they all crazy?

"You don't get it" I tell them. "You don't know her guys. She has always put on a façade so that no one can see how scared and unsure she is underneath the mask. Everyone would think that she's completely on top of everything and knows exactly what she's doing at every moment. She acts the part."

"She doesn't need to act Sid" Tanger says. "She's a bad ass."

Is he out of his mind? When I think about it though, it does make sense that they would think that she's great at the role. Most of her life has been spent 'acting' as if she's strong and able even though she's not underneath. They don't know the real Anna like I do. She is smart and capable, she could definitely do this job in the next five years or so, but she needs help right now to be successful. I wouldn't be a good guy if I didn't help her when she needs it most.

"She is" Flower agrees. "There's a lot of work to do, which isn't different from when Jen did it, but she's all over it and doing really well. Look at how she fixed the Rossi thing."

"The Rossi thing that you created kid" Duper says.

"I was fixing the situation" I tell him. "It would have been a nightmare if he'd written that article. Sure, I could have handled it better and I definitely shouldn't have hit him but it's better than the alternative."

"So those were the only choices?" Flower asks. "Rossi writes the article or you hit the guy?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?" Tanger asks.

"I mean that it would have been disastrous if Rossi had written that article."

"But there were other options" Tanger tells me.

"What? What other options could there possibly be?"

"I don't know because I'm not the head of PR" Tanger raises his voice. "She is. She's the expert. Anna knows what she's doing. You should have gone to her."

"How can you possibly know that?" I yell.

"All you have to do is watch her Sid" Tanger yells back. "Watch her in the locker room during the media scrums. She sees everything that's going on around her yet she doesn't interfere with her team. If she needs to speak with one of them then she does it quietly and where no one can hear what she's saying. She's a great leader Sid. The interns have a lot of respect for her and in a very short time too. I've heard Adam say how she's giving him his own projects and more of a leadership role with the other interns. He loves the added responsibility."

I'm not surprised that they think this and see Anna this way. They don't know her and they don't get to see who she really is behind the mask. I know her. I see her when she's scared and unsure of what she should do and what if that happened at a crucial moment when I can't be there for her?

"I've been around longer than all of you and I've seen a lot of interns and PR teams" Duper begins. "She's one of the best I've seen Sid."

There's no need arguing with them anymore. They don't really know her so it's going to be impossible for them to understand what I'm doing and why.

"Guys, I know Anna and I know what I'm doing" I tell them. "I agree that I went off the deep end with the Rossi thing but I know when she needs help and I'm not going to stop supporting her. I love her."

"Supporting is different than interfering kid" Duper tells me. "You can love and support without interfering with her job. It is a job and she is a professional so you have to let her do it. This isn't personal."

"We're going to have to agree to disagree, guys" I tell them.

Tanger shakes his head.

"You're going to lose her" he tells me. "If you don't trust her and truly support her then you are definitely going to lose her."

"We'll see" I tell them.

I can see that they are frustrated and I am too. The conversation is going nowhere.

"We need to get going or we're going to be late for practice" I say.

They reluctantly agree and we leave.

As I drive alone to the rink, I think back over the conversation with the guys. They haven't often given me personal advice but, when they have, it's usually been spot on right. Why are they so wrong this time?

Anna

It's taken a lot to push all of my personal feelings aside and focus on my job today. I have to draw on all of my life experiences of presenting a professional façade to the world to make it believable. At least I have a few moments to myself right now so I shut my office door and sit on one of the comfy chairs. I'm tired physically, having not slept well or long last night, and emotionally I'm empty. Talking with Sid solved nothing last night and actually made things worse in my mind, in my heart, since we didn't make any progress.

Although, I guess you could call it progress since I understand Sid's motivation now. He thinks that I'm completely incapable of handling this job on my own and especially without his help. How can someone I love so deeply not know me at all? I need some time to think this through. No sooner does the thought go through my head then there is a knock on the door. I sigh knowing that I won't get a moment to myself now.

"Come in" I say.

Adam enters and asks "is this still a good time to meet?"

"Of course" I smile and gesture for him to join me in the sitting area.

He sits and frowns at me.

"Is something wrong?" I ask him.

"Yeah" he says and frowns deeper. "This is difficult, this you and me thing, so I don't know what to do."

Confused, I ask "what 'you and me thing' Adam?"

"You're my boss, and not technically or anything, you are actually my boss. The problem is that you're also a friend and you could clearly use one right now. How do we navigate this to be professional and keep our friendship?"

Oh. Maybe he's right. Maybe I really could use a friend right now.

"How about this?" I begin. "Let's put away the work for a few minutes and just talk."

Adam visibly relaxes.

"I like that" he agrees. "So, what the hell is going on?"

I sigh then put my face in my hands and take a couple of deep breaths.

"Ok" I tell him as I sit up. "Over the past few weeks that I've been back, not a day goes by that Sid doesn't ask how I am and if I need help."

"So, he cares about you and is worried."

"That's what I thought at first Adam; but, there's actually a deeper and more disturbing reason for his concern. He doesn't think that I can do this job and he believes that I'm over my head and not ready. He still sees me as that intern and girl that I was two years ago. How can he love me and not really know or understand me?"

"Oh Anna, I'm so sorry. Are you sure that you understood him right?"

"Definitely. He said that I don't have the experience to do the job. There is no interpretation or perception involved. Sid actually said it."

"Oh" is all he says for a few moments. Eventually he continues "well that's just shit. You are doing this job better than I could ever have done it. Jen makes it look really easy so I guess I thought I could do it too; but, seeing you here and filling in for Jen makes me see how difficult it really is. You are doing a phenomenal job and I could never have done it. You are simply incredible."

"So how come Sid doesn't see it?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's trying to adjust to this new relationship and it is new Anna. You said it yourself, how different you are, so it makes sense that the relationship is different too."

"Maybe" I relent. "If it was only that he was worried or that he was driving me crazy by asking me how I am every two minutes then I would agree; but it's become so extreme that he punched out a reporter."

"Could it be, without the reporter punching, that he's simply worried?"

"No, it isn't simple" I concede.

"If he doesn't understand what you are truly capable of, and doesn't really know you, then how can he love you, right?"

I can't speak. To have my deepest fear verbalize by Adam has paralyzed me.

"Anna" he says and covers my hand with his own. "What can I do to help?"

I smile and finally say "this helps."

Adam smiles back and we sit in companionable silence for a few moments.

Finally, I take a deep breath and say "let's focus on work, ok?"

"Sure" he agrees and opens his laptop. "Let's talk Winter Classic in New York."

Adam runs through the overview of timelines that have been reviewed by the Rangers and approved by the league. There is nothing unexpected until I see a review meeting that I'm invited to a week from now.

"Why do I need to be there?" I ask.

"The Rangers specifically asked that you participate. They've scheduled it when they are playing at Consol so I didn't see a way out of it."

"Ok, good call, but I'm only a participant. This is your project and your meeting. I'm there to listen and that's it."

"Ok" he says and smiles.

He goes into a little more depth on the preparation timelines and he has everything figured out. I only interrupt when I hear a name that definitely catches my attention.

"Go back" I say. "Who is leading the project for the Rangers?"

"Oh yeah, it's Meagan. Do you remember her? She was an intern here for the first few weeks when we started and then she moved home to New York and an internship with the Rangers."

"Yeah, you could say that I remember her."

Adam raises an eyebrow and waits for me to continue. There is no reason for me to feel weird or odd about seeing Meagan but I do and feel a shiver of trepidation.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks.

I shouldn't tell him. I know that I'm supposed to keep what happened with Meagan confidential but Adam is my friend and I need to talk to someone. Briefly, a thought flies through my head that the person I should be able to speak with is Sidney.

"Ok, I guess it's time that I gave you the whole story" I say and then proceed to tell him everything.

I talk about Meaghan's taunts and bullying in the beginning and then threatening me and Sidney later. I even tell him about her accusations against Mario. Adam sits throughout my recounting silently and waits for me to finish. It's only when I'm done that he speaks.

"Wow" is all he says.

"Yeah."

"So, if I understand the current situation correctly, you broke up with your fiancé then moved in with Sid. Rossi was going to write about it all, Sid found out and punched him so now you need to give a one on one interview with that ass. You doubt your relationship with Sid, that he even knows who you are and can he really love the real you. Finally, we need to work with the biggest bitch in the world who made your life hell once upon a time. Does that cover it all?"

I chuckle and reply "yeah, that about covers it all."

"Ok, that's quite a list of issues" he agrees. "First, we can't do anything about Meaghan. She's a bitch and we'll need to work with her. There's nothing we can do about it so let's take that off of the list."

I have to chuckle again at his matter-of-fact recounting of my life.

"Ok, we'll take the bitch off of the list" I agree.

"We can't do anything about Rossi at this point either. Sid hit him and you had to make a deal. All we can do is plan which day it is, the least stressful but most busy, so he has less alone time with you. Hey, you didn't agree to how long it will be or if he gets a specific amount of time with you?"

"No."

"See" he says and gestures to me. "You made a great deal with that ass. I didn't even think about it until right now. Brilliant. Anyway, that can't be changed either so let's take that off of the list too, ok?"

"Ok."

"So that leaves us with Sid. I love you like a sister, and I ask this with love: did you really think that after two years of not seeing Sid, after the way you broke up, after you ended your engagement to Matt and went directly from his bed to Sid's, did you really think that everything would be fine?"

Put that way, in all of that detail, it seems extraordinarily idealistic. How could I really think that everything would be fine after all this time and everything that's happen to me?

"I didn't think it would be easy, I knew that we'd have to rebuild our relationship, but we had a couple of great talks about what happened both before my internship and when we broke up, I thought that we were well on our way."

Adam frowns.

"You're telling me" he begins. "After only two conversations, you thought that you and Sid had healed your relationship and were on your way to nirvana?"

"As I said, put that way, it does sound idealistic" I admit.

"Idealistic? Anna, it sounds bat shit crazy."

He looks so, well, the only word that I can think of is befuddled. Adam looks befuddled.

"Ok, we've analyzed the shit out of this" I tell him. "What do I do now?" He purses his lips but remains silent. "Tell me what you're thinking Adam. Don't hold back now."

"When you and Sid had these two epic conversations, did you ask him what he did during the two years that you were apart?"

I thought that I couldn't be surprised anymore, not after Sid slugged Rossi, but Adam has managed it.

"No" I reply. "I didn't, why?"

"I think you need to ask Sid but I can tell you what I observed of Sid after you left and over the two years. Anytime the team did anything social, Sid was alone or with the few single guys on the team. He didn't date Anna but it was more than that. He seemed sad. Even with the happiness of winning the Cup and all of the success we had, there was always sadness just below the surface. He was even more reserved than usual and rarely smiled. Of course he became even better on the ice since all he did was work out, practice and watch game film. Unless he was on the ice, he became essentially a shadow of who he before you left."

I never thought about what Sid did while we were apart or how he handled our break up. He's the one who was angry and didn't want to be together anymore so I always thought that he was fine. How can I be mad at Sid for not knowing me when I clearly don't know him either?

"Anna? Earth to Anna" Adam says.

"Sorry. You're right Adam. Not only didn't I ask him about that time we were apart but I never even thought about it during that time." I consider his words. "I did go directly from one man to another. Oh my God, how could I be so stupid? We moved in together so that we could actually be together, since we work so many hours, but we skipped so many steps. The most important of these steps was getting to know each other again rather than assuming we could pick up where we left off, before the break up."

"Um, yeah" he agrees sarcastically.

"Nice" I tease him. "I keep saying that Sid doesn't know me so how can he really love me, the 'me' that I am right now? So how can I say that I am in love with him when I don't even know the real Sid, who he is right now?"

"I'm not sure that I like the way you're going with this" Adam says.

I don't either but it's clear to me what I need to do.

"Adam, have we finished with our meeting?"

"Um, yeah, I think you're caught up on the project."

I smile and say "good. Thank you so much for helping me work out this thing with Sid. I know what I need to do next."

"And that is?" he asks.

"Do you like the Hilton or Regency down the street?"

"The hotels?"

"Yeah."

Author's Note:

Hi all, I hope that you are still enjoying the story and not hating me or sticking pins in some voodoo doll you've made to represent me. Good news: my wrist is doing better so I should get back to one chapter a week ... if you're still with me :-)

For the couple of you who messaged me about Meagan, good catch in the last chapter that the Winter Classic was going to be with the Rangers! Yes, she's back


	42. Chapter 42

Sidney

I only briefly saw Anna today and usually it was only a glimpse of her. She responded to the text I sent by saying that she was swamped today and would see me at home later in the evening. She told me not to wait dinner on her so I went over to Duper's house and ate with his family. Their frenzied disorder of kids and animals was exactly what I needed to occupy myself until Anna got home.

Her car is in the garage when I get home so at least I don't have to wait for her. That would be a very long wait that I really wasn't looking forward to.

I notice Anna's suitcase at the front door as I pass it. The anxiety that festered deep inside me begins to grow exponentially. Light is coming from the kitchen so I make my way there and see Anna sitting at the table still in the dress that she wore to work. She looks sad. I feel my anxiety rise higher, almost unbearably, so I try to ignore it.

"Hi" she says softly.

"Hi" I reply and sit opposite her at the kitchen table.

"We need to talk" she begins. "Um, wow, this is harder than I thought it would be."

"You're leaving" I tell her.

My voice is strange and feels like it's coming from somewhere outside of my body. Anna bites her bottom lip and nods her agreement. The anxiety I feel completely disappears and is replaced with nothing. I feel empty.

"Sidney, I don't have answers for everything; but, I do know that we've been apart for two years and we were very naïve to think that we could just pick up our relationship and continue on like those two years didn't happen. I'm a different person than I was back then and I don't even know what you went through while I was gone. We're not ready for this" she waves her hand around the room.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"I don't know, I don't think so" she says. "I need some time to think and adjust. There have been monumental changes in my life and I need to figure out what they mean to me. I need to figure out what you mean to me and what we are together. You need to do the same thing. You don't even know me Sidney."

"I know you" I tell her a little more forcefully than I intend. "I love you."

"You love who I used to be and not who I am now. You don't know who I am now and" she puts her hand up "don't try to argue. If you think about it and are honest with yourself then you'll admit that it's true."

"What does that mean? We're breaking up? We're not breaking up?"

She looks down at her hands now clutched in her lap like she does when she's nervous or unsure. See, I know her.

"Ok, I know that I don't want to break up" she tells me.

"Good."

"But I do think that we need to start again, from the beginning, like we just met."

"So you want to stay together?"

"That's part of the problem; I'm really confused and nothing is clear to me right now."

"But you don't want to break up?" I ask.

I watch her eyes fill with tears but she shakes her head.

"So you know that you don't want to break up" I tell her. "That's something."

She gives me a watery smile and I feel the emptiness that took hold inside of me fill with hope. She's confused, and contradicting herself, but she seems to have decided that we're not breaking up.

"So where are you going?" I ask.

"I booked a hotel room near Consol. I'll stay there for a while until I can figure out what I want to do next." She looks at her watch and then at me, apologetically. "My cab will be here in a few minutes."

"Take the car Anna. It's absurd for you to rely on cabs to get around. I have the truck."

"Thanks but I'll be able to walk to Consol so I won't need it."

Even though Anna says that we're not breaking up, it really feels that way. She's cutting all ties between us and doesn't seem to be interested in having any remaining connections.

"Ok" I reply.

The gate buzzes before I can say anything further so we both stand and walk to the front door. I buzz the gate open and pick up Anna's suitcase. We walk outside and down the front path as the cab drives up. The trunk opens automatically so I put the suitcase in it and return to Anna standing at the open door to the car.

"I guess I'll see you at the rink tomorrow" she tells me.

"I guess so" I reply. "Um, how is this going to work? Can we have dinner tomorrow night?"

Anna doesn't answer directly but she does look confused.

"I don't know Sidney. I don't have any more idea than you do about how this is going to work. Why don't we give it a few days and then see what we want and what our next steps are?"

I don't like not having a firm date for when we'll next see each other, outside of the rink of course, but I don't have any more answers than Anna does right now.

"Ok" I tell her.

I can't just let her go so I step closer and kiss her cheek. I want to tell her that I love her but that doesn't seem like a really good idea since she doubts our love right now.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I tell her.

Anna smiles, cups my cheek for a brief moment and then gets into the cab. I stand out in the cold air until I can't see the tail lights any more. Now what do I do?

 **Anna**

It's been two days and Sid and I have exchanged a few of texts and had two conversations. I've been crazy busy so I've focused all of my energy into my job and spent less thinking about my relationship with Sid. I've come to the conclusion that moving out was the right thing to do because I'm feeling less stress, sleeping better and am able to focus much easier.

It's times like these though, when the building is quiet and I'm alone, that my mind drifts to Sid and I miss him. On one hand, I came back to be with him and this seems counterproductive to that goal; but, on the other hand, it feels right, this space between us, at least right now in our relationship.

My phone rings and I smile when I see who is calling.

"It's so sweet that you still have time for the little people" I say when I answer the phone.

"Ha ha ha" Matt replies.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, actually, I'm exhausted and barely keeping up everything I have to do, but good."

"That sounds about right" I tell him. "Even if you are exhausted and barely keeping up, is it what you hoped it would be?"

"No."

I'm surprised by his response. There is no vitriol behind his words but he is firm in the answer.

"Why no?" I ask.

"We were supposed to be doing this together."

Oh. What do I say to that?

"I'm not saying that we should still be together Anna it's just … shit, I don't know what I'm saying."

"I miss you too" I tell him.

I hear him sigh.

"Maybe that's it" he tells me. "I miss you. Even if we weren't engaged, we were great friends and I miss my friend."

Now it's my turn to sigh.

"I miss you too. Tell me what's been going on."

Matt does just that. He starts by telling me about the frustration of writing the new education bill that was part of his campaign platform. His cabinet secretary has decided to have an opinion about the bill that he didn't express until after the election and now it's stalling their work. His chief of staff, previously the campaign manager, is still learning his job and has made a few mistakes. In fact, everyone around him seems to be high strung and making stupid mistakes.

"What do I do?" he asks me.

"Matt, it sounds to me like they're a group of people who want to do a good job and make you proud of them. When people are worried about doing a good job all the time then they often don't do the job the way they can if they weren't worried."

"They're making mistakes because they're worried about making mistakes?"

"Essentially, yes. One the great things about that team is their enthusiasm and willingness to try new things. Because of that, they come up with innovative ideas and excel. If they're worried then they won't be enthusiastic and willing to try new things."

"And they'll make mistakes because of it."

"Yes" I agree.

"So what do I do about it?"

I chuckle. This conversation makes me chuckle because it reminds me of the good times we had together and makes me miss my friend too.

"You know what to do Matt."

"I need to bring the core team together and tell them to get their collective heads out of their collective asses."

"I'd phrase it nicer, but yes. You need to give them permission to be enthusiastic and willing to try new things. Most importantly, tell them that it's ok to make mistakes and then, when they do, make sure it's a learning experience and not something they get beaten up for."

"I'll need to make sure that all of the department heads are on the same page if we're going to create that kind of environment."

"You know exactly what you need to do Matt. You're a natural leader and your team adores and is inspired by you. Everyone needs to take a collective deep breath, which includes you too, and you'll be fine."

"You know me so well" he tells me.

"How are things going otherwise?"

"There really isn't anything other than that going on. I'm trying to make every minute that I'm in office count."

"My father would be so proud of you Matty."

"You haven't called me that in a long time."

"I guess not. I feel like we cut each other completely, fast and deep when we broke up. Maybe we needed to do that at the time but does it still need to be like that? Can we be friends again?"

"I'd like that" he tells me. "I'd really like that; in fact, I'm going to be in Pittsburgh next week. Can we get together? With Sid of course if you think it wouldn't be too awkward."

"Um, yeah, I'd love to get together" I tell him.

"Ok, what's wrong? I know you Annabelle, what's wrong?"

"Don't call me Annabelle" I tell him.

"Don't skirt the question."

"Fine, it's just that things weren't as simple with Sid as I thought they would be."

"You thought they'd be simple? Anna, really?"

"If it wasn't for the abortion shit then we'd still be together. When I got back, Sid and I talked about everything that went down, a couple of times, and reached an understanding. Then it just got weird. Sid got weird actually. I doubt know."

"How is he?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how is he doing with all of this stuff? You moved on, we got together, so what did he do? How did he cope with it?"

Oh. Both Matt and Adam have asked me how Sid is doing, or how he did while we were apart, and I don't have an answer.

"Anna?"

"I don't know Matty."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"We really haven't talked about our time apart. I mean, I shared how you and I got together, but that's it really. We just talked a lot about what happened after the first time we slept together, when I got pregnant, and then when Sid and I broke up. I guess we didn't talk much about our time apart."

"So what's happened since you got back?"

I hesitate at first and then it all spills out of me. I tell Matt about taking the job with the Pens and Sid's reaction to it or, rather, his over reaction to it. Finally, I tell him about moving into the hotel.

"And that's supposed to help? Distance?"

"Well, what we were doing wasn't working so I thought if we got some space, and if I could actually think, then maybe I could figure a way out of this, or something. I don't know Matt. It's a big mess."

"Are you guys talking at least?"

"Um, once or twice."

"What's the plan? Or do you guys even have a plan?"

"I told Sid that I didn't want to break up but I thought that I should move out. That's all I know."

"Tell me that you're not using work as an excuse Anna."

"I'm really busy with work. We're right into the season, there are a million pieces moving at the same time, and I'm trying to catch up on them."

"You are the queen of multi-tasking and you're trying to tell me that you can't figure out this job and how to have a couple of conversations with your boyfriend at the same time?"

"Matt."

"Don't 'Matt' me. You know what I'm saying."

"Yeah" I admit. "I really suck at this; shouldn't I be better at this, I mean we had a good relationship, right?"

"We had a great relationship babe. Don't you ever doubt that, ok? Remember though, our relationship was simple, easy really. We were friends who loved each other. What you and Sid have is complicated, messy and, well, epic."

"Epic huh?"

"Look, neither of us believes in soul mates but, you and Sid, yes you and Sid are epic."

"Yeah, I guess we are."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I still have no idea" I tell him.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you want it to work with him?"

"Yes."

"Then you guys need to figure it out. Put that brilliant, multi-tasking brain to finding time for both your job and Sid. Ok?"

"Yes" I tell him. "Thank you Matty, I mean it, thank you. I love you."

"I love you too Annabelle."

"Don't call me Annabelle" I tell him.

"Don't call me Matty."

We both chuckle and disconnect the call.

I feel lighter now. Adam is a great friend and he's been so good to me but there's nothing like a friend who knows you inside and out and has been through the worst with you. I didn't realize how much I missed Matt and thank god we can still be friends. So many couples break up and say 'let's be friends' but they can rarely manage it. Hopefully, after this conversation, we can build from here, beat the odds and remain friends. It will be really great to see him next week.

"That's a great smile" I hear from my doorway.

I look up and see Sid. Wow, he wears a tee shirt and jeans like no one else can.

"Hi" I say. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I had a phone interview this afternoon so I came in."

"Oh" is all I say.

Brilliant.

"Are you going to be working much longer tonight?" he asks.

"Um, there's never a shortage of work so the question is really if I'm going to stop because I'm exhausted or hungry?"

"Ok, so are you hungry?"

It's almost through my lips to say no, instinctively, but Matt's words are still in my ears.

Instead I say "yeah, I could eat."

Sid's apprehension passes and he smiles. I find myself smiling back and suddenly I'm very happy that I'm hungry.

I gather my things and close up my laptop. Together, Sid and I walk toward the parking complex.

"I assume you don't have a car" he says and I nod. "I can drive, if you like?"

We're very polite and it feels awkward and weird.

"That's great Sid."

I put my arm through his. I can feel him tense and then relax under my hand so I make myself relax too. It's Sid and we're going to dinner which is nothing to be worried about. Right?

When we're in the car, Sid mentions a bistro beside my hotel which we both like and then we chat about the game tomorrow night.

Once seated at our table, Sid orders us wine and then we both sit staring at each other with our menus left unopened in front of us.

"I don't know if this is more awkward or weird" I say to Sid.

"Yeah" he agrees.

Then we're both quiet again.

 **Sidney**

'Yeah'? I actually said 'yeah'? That's certainly brilliant.

"I think it's weird how weird it is" I tell her.

"I guess so" she says.

The waiter arrives and goes through the ritual of opening and pouring the wine. After he leaves, we both take a sip of our wine.

"I've missed you" I tell her and immediately regret saying it.

I promised myself that I wouldn't put any pressure on her and would keep it light. Damn.

"I miss you too" she says softly.

Oh. That's good, right?

Anna looks uncomfortable so I change the subject.

"How is the Winter Classic planning?" I ask her.

She frowns and looks down at her hands. What did I say wrong? I was just asking about the Classic.

"Did I say something wrong?" I ask.

She looks up and says "this is usually when we get into trouble Sidney."

"What do you mean?"

"When we talk about my job, that's when we usually get into an argument. Maybe we shouldn't talk about work, at least not right now."

"Ok" I agree.

"How is Taylor doing?" she asks me.

That reminds me, shit! I forgot about Taylor coming to visit this weekend.

"I forgot all about Taylor" I tell her. "She's coming to visit this weekend. Since we're not living in the same place any more, I would really like it if we could spend time together, the three of us. I'd really like you and Taylor to get to know each other. Is that ok?"

"That's nice that she's coming to visit. I would enjoy getting to know her Sid. We'll need to plan something around our schedules. At least we have a couple of days in between games while she's here."

"Yeah, it was perfect timing. She'll bring her gear and work out with us too."

"On the ice?"

"Not during our practice time but yeah she'll be on the ice. She loves being able to stop the shots of some of the guys and especially the chirping she can do afterward."

"That sounds like a lot of fun. Do you practice with her in summer?"

"We did a few times, early on, but it usually devolved into huge arguments that we took off the ice too. That pissed my mother off so we just stopped."

"It must be great to have a sister who shares the same interests. It's too bad that there isn't a pro league for women. Will she have to get a job? How will she be able to do that and focus on hockey for the national team after she graduates?"

How do I answer that? Taylor never has to figure out how to balance making money and playing hockey like the other girls on the national team do. With my money, neither my parents nor Taylor ever have to worry about money.

I can see when Anna understands so I don't have to say it.

"Oh, I guess she won't have to worry about that, will she?" Anna says.

"No, not really."

"That's good for her then. She'll be able to focus solely on hockey and work at what she wants to do."

The waiter interrupts us and we order. With that taken care of, we're alone again and I can't think of what else to talk about that isn't about hockey. Both of our lives revolve around the Pens right now so finding another topic is difficult.

"How did your hockey school do this past summer?" she asks me.

"It was great. We've doubled the number of applicants over the four years we've been running it and they're coming from all over the world too. The first year we had a kid from Japan but his parents were expat Canadians. Now we have applicants from Western and Eastern Europe too. This past year we even had a kid from Australia. It was really cool."

"How do you choose who can attend?"

I describe the application process, included the kid's essays, and share details about some of them. They are really cute from the five and six year olds especially. We continue to talk about my school as we eat our dinner. Anna is really interested in it and my friends and family who volunteer before, during and after the camp. The cheque arrives and I realize that we've been talking the whole dinner about me and my family; but, Anna has been laughing and asking questions so I guess she's enjoyed herself.

When we leave the restaurant, I take her hand instinctively and am happy when her fingers wrap around mine. We walk the half block to her hotel.

"This is where I am" she says.

"I'm walking you to your room" I tell her.

My mother raised me better than to drop the girl off rather than walking her directly to her door.

"Ok" she says and gives me an apprehensive look.

"Just to the door" I tell her. "I know it will be difficult but you'll need to try and control yourself when I leave."

I wink at her and she chuckles.

"I'll do my best" she says.

We walk in companionable silence to her room. I'm happy to see that she's on the club level so there is additional security. I'm also happy that we're alone in the hallway. At her door, Anna releases my hand and turns to me.

"This is me" she says.

"Ok" I reply. "Is it, um, ok if I kiss you?"

Wow, I could have done that smoother. I hold my breath while I wait for her to respond.

In response, Anna steps closer toward me and looks up. I cup her cheek, stroke it lightly with my thumb and then lean in to capture her lips softly with mine. Slowly she responds and I feel her hand at my waist. This kiss is unlike any I've ever experienced before, even with Anna. It's sweet and gentle without any need to hurry or rush to get on with 'it'. Her fingers tighten at my waist and I hear her breathy sigh. It takes all of my willpower to keep the kiss light and exploratory.

I use that willpower to pull away. It's especially difficult when I look at Anna and see plump lips parted and ready for more. I have to take a step away when she presses her lips together as if savouring the kiss.

"Goodnight" I tell her.

"Goodnight" she replies, turns to the door and goes inside.

It feels like a successful first step. I almost whistle as I walk back to the elevator.

 **Anna**

I rest my forehead against the cold door and try to settle down so that I don't chase after Sid down the hall and beg him to come back. Dinner was awkward, at least at the beginning, but I had both Adam's and Matt's voices running through my head and focused the conversation on Sid. It became painfully obvious to me that I didn't do enough of that when we were together either before or after we broke up.

I knew that Sid had a hockey school but not how involved he was in every aspect of it. He also has a lot of family and friends who help run it, teach the kids and, basically, do everything at the camp. Sid is also involved with the kids on the ice and has autograph sessions, large group Q&As and time for pictures. It was lovely to see how excited he was telling me about the camp.

I give my head a shake and pull out my phone. I thumb through the messages and see an urgent one from Adam so I call him.

"Finally" is how he answers.

"What is so urgent?" I ask.

"Tomorrow is the day."

"For what Adam?"

"Rossi."

Shit. Seriously? Shit. Oh well, I did agree to it.

"Ok, so he's going to follow me around tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes. I've adjusted your schedule so that you are busier than usual. There's nothing confidential he can't participate in so he can't complain about access to you; but, there will be very few opportunities for you to be one on one."

"You are my hero."

"Awe shucks" he replies and tries to affect a southern accent.

"Don't try to be southern" I tell him. "You can't quite pull it off my friend."

We both chuckle.

"He'll be at your office at 8:45am. I thought that gave you some time to actually work before the craziness begins."

"You really are my hero. Thanks for your help Adam."

"You're welcome. Night."

We disconnect and I get ready for bed. There's no other messages that can't wait until the morning, and I'll need to be well rested to handle Rossi tomorrow, so I turn off the lights.

Shit. I need to let Sid know so that he gives Rossi a wide berth.

Once I'm in bed, I grab my phone and call Sid.

"Hi" he answers.

"Hi" I reply. "Can you talk?"

"Yeah, I was just watching SportsCentre before going to sleep."

"Ok, um, I need to talk to you about something."

"Anything Anna."

I take a deep breath and let it out before speaking again.

"Tomorrow is the day that Rossi is going to follow me around and interview me. I didn't want it to surprise you."

"Oh" is all he says.

"I don't want to get into an argument Sidney but" I pause to take another deep breath. "I'd appreciate if you would give me and Rossi space. If you see us, please go the other way. I know this is a potentially volatile situation and I just want to get through the day without any incidents. Ok?"

"Ok" is all he says.

One syllable answers are not good. Sid is trying not to say something so he answers with one word. It's always been his tell when he's trying not to blurt something out.

"Say it Sid" I tell him. "We need to be honest with each other."

I hear him take a deep breath this time.

"I want to ask if you're sure that you can handle him by yourself but I don't want to upset you."

I sigh. At least he's being honest with me; although, it's still insulting that he doesn't trust my skill. I don't have the energy to argue about this again so I simply tell Sid about the day.

"I will be fine. The day has been organized so that I am in a lot of meetings and will spend the least amount of time alone with him as possible while still fulfilling the agreement. It will be fine."

"Ok" he says. "I worry."

"I know that you do."

"Thanks for telling me. Sleep well."

"Ok, you too Sidney."

Neither of us disconnects the call. I feel like a teenager talking on the phone with my boyfriend and my mom says I need to go to bed but I don't want to hang up.

"You didn't hang up" he says softly.

"Neither did you."

"I think that I'm supposed to say 'you hang up'."

"Then I say 'no, you hang up'."

"And so on" he says.

"And so on."

We both chuckle. I snuggle deeper under my comforter and into my pillow putting my phone on speaker beside me.

"What's the rustling?" he asks me.

"I put you on speaker so that I could get under my comforter."

"What are you wearing?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me, what are you wearing?"

I look down at Sidney's Property of the Penguins tee shirt that I took when I left his home. He had worn it the day before and it still smells like him.

"I'm wearing a tee shirt" I tell him.

"Awe, could you wear something a little sexier? Or pretend that you are?"

"You are a funny man."

"I try."

"I hate to say this but I really should sleep. Rossi is going to require all of my patience tomorrow and I'll need sleep to be diplomatic."

"Ok, good night."

"Good night Sidney. Thank you for dinner."

"You're welcome."

We disconnect this time. Soon after, I fall into a contented sleep.

My alarm wakes me up at 5am and I drag myself out of bed. In the small kitchen, I make my protein shake and drink it while I dress to work out. Thankfully this floor has a private gym so I find only one person in there running. I say good morning, put my ear buds in, and start to run.

I used to run to keep my weight down. That's still my primary reason but I also run to release stress. It's my one hour that I don't have to think about anything except putting one foot in front of the other. I have the music planned so that I can run at the pace of the song, it speeds up slowly and then slows for me to cool down.

Back in my room, I shower and get ready for work. I can walk to Consol which is one of the reasons I chose this hotel. It also has a Starbucks along the way which is as essential to my mornings as my run.

I'm alone when I arrive at Consol and I focus on emptying my very full email box. A knock on my door interrupts me and, seeing Adam, I realize that I've been sitting at my desk for more than two hours.

"You're early" I say to him.

He comes in with two cups of Starbucks.

"I thought you might need this before Rossi gets here" he tells me.

"Once again, you are my hero."

"I have a full day myself but text me if you need anything, ok? I can fabricate an emergency if you need it."

"Thanks Adam, I think I'll be ok; especially now that I'll be well caffeinated."

He chuckles and leaves my office. I am almost through yesterday's email when there is another knock on my door. When I see who it is, I catch myself before I sigh.

"Good morning Rob" I greet Rossi.

"Good morning."

"Come in" I tell him.

Before I can say anything further, there is another knock at the door and we both turn toward it. Shit. Sid seems to have ignored my request or he doesn't understand what it means to go the other way. Shit.


	43. Chapter 43

Sidney

This was a really bad idea. I told Anna, promised her actually, that I would stay away from her and Rossi while he was at the rink interviewing her and yet here I am at her office door looking at the two of them. Anna looks pissed and Rossi looks amused. He's probably hoping for another altercation and I would love to accommodate him. I give my head a mental shake, ignoring the instinctive need to put my fist in his face, and get to what I intended when I made the detour to Anna's office.

"I'm sorry to interrupt" I say to them both and walk into the room. Looking solely at Rossi, I say "Rossi, I want to apologize for what happened the other day. I never should have hit you and I'm sorry that it happened."

I hold out my hand and wait. He looks confused, then wary, and then holds out his hand to shake mine. He says nothing, simply shakes and nods, and then I turn and leave the room without a backward glance.

I did a lot of thinking last night and realized that my parents raised me better than to go around punching reporters no matter how much they might deserve it. Regardless of the promise that I made to Anna, I had to apologize to Rossi to clear my own conscience and I knew where he would be first thing this morning. I can now focus on fulfilling my promise and will stay away from Anna and Rossi the rest of the day.

"Did you do it?" Tanger asks me when I walk into the change room.

"Yeah" I reply. "I almost choked on it but I apologized to the ass."

"Your mama would be proud."

I laugh.

"Yeah, but my girlfriend is going to be pissed" I tell him.

"You'll explain it to her. From my experience, women like a man with a strong sense of ethics." He frowns. "That's right, ethics?"

Even after all of these years, he still can get tripped up on some English words.

"Yeah, that's right" I tell him.

Geno walks in the room and starts showing new pictures of his son who he took to the batting cages for the first time yesterday. He used to show us pictures of his hot girlfriends, vacations, and fish he caught non vacation but, for the past few years, it's been all about babies. Actually, all of my close friends have been talking babies for a while now. It makes me think about the family that Anna and I will have someday. She's going to be a great mom. We haven't really talked about family and having kids. I wonder how many she wants to have. She won't want to keep working, will she? Unfortunately, wives of hockey players do most of the work for the family while the guys play and it's a full time job for them.

Practice goes by quickly and thankfully so does the media scrum. From my locker, I can see Rossi standing beside Anna at her usual spot in the doorway to the locker room. He must be asking her questions because he writes down what she's saying to him. Hopefully he isn't being too much of an ass with his question and will be accurate with her answers.

At home later, it's hard to fall asleep for my nap because my brain keeps running over and over the conversation with Rossi in Anna's office. I guess it wasn't a conversation. I clearly remember Anna's face and can only pray that she'll give me the opportunity to explain why I did it before she yells at me. Taylor arrives tomorrow so maybe Anna will meet me after the game tonight so that we can talk. I really want her to spend time with Taylor and any tension between Anna and I will be counterproductive. I pick up my phone.

'Can we meet after the game?' I text to Anna.

'Tonight?' I receive back after a few minutes.

'Yes'

She makes me wait, longer than is comfortable, but she gives me the answer I want.

'Sure, how about my hotel room?'

Her hotel? I guess that's private.

'Sure, I'll meet you there' I tell her.

I'm able to put phone aside and finally fall asleep for my pre-game nap.

Anna

It's taken me all day, but I've finally worked off the 'mad' I've been feeling since Sid showed up at my office. I was surprised when he apologized to Rossi and, from the look on Rossi's face, I'd say that Sid took him by surprise too. When I finally stopped being mad, I realized that I should talk to Sid and find out why he did it when I specifically asked him to stay away from us today. My fear is that he's going to say that he wanted to make sure that I was ok and then we'll be back where we started with Sid not trusting me of my abilities.

At least Rossi has behaved himself and been less ass-like thank I thought. We also won the game so everyone is in a good mood and that always ends the day well. Rossi and I parted at my office, my debt being fulfilled, and I'm walking back to my hotel. Part of me is looking forward to seeing Sid. No matter what's going on or how ticked off I am, I miss him and it will be wonderful to spend some time with him this evening.

I say hello to the front desk staff as I pass them. The employees pay special attention to long term residents and I've enjoyed getting to know the night team especially. They know I work for the Pens and I always stop by and talk about the game with them.

"Sorry guys, I have to head upstairs directly" I tell them when I pass.

I almost don't see Sid sitting in a lobby chair as I walk to the elevator. He's sitting in a shadowed area probably so that he won't be recognized.

"Hi" he says as he stands.

"Hi" I reply.

We walk in silence to the elevator and then up to my room. Sid stays near the front door while I put down my purse and take off my coat.

"Come on in" I tell him and gesture to the sitting area.

I get us each a bottle of water and then join Sid. He takes a long drink when I hand him the water and I do the same. We need to talk but how do we start.

"Can I explain what happened this morning?" Sid asks.

"Yeah, I'd like that" I tell him.

For a moment, Sid looks surprised by my response but then he replies.

"I meant it when I agreed not to bother you and Rossi today, in fact, I avoided you the rest of the day. I still think that Rossi is an ass and I'd love to punch that smug smile off his face every time I see it; but, I know that it wasn't the right thing to do and could have additional consequences beyond the agreement that you made with him. Anyway, that's why I apologized to him. I knew that he'd be meeting you at your office so I met you guys there."

I think about what he's said and it sounds exactly like something Sid would do; or, rather, what the old Sid would do before he became insanely obsessed with my ability to do my job. This is the Sid I fell in love with and whom I still love; he's ethical, principled and does the right thing. I feel deep relief that he wasn't interfering in my job. His reasoning was simply to do the right thing after he's done something he feels is wrong.

"Oh" is all I say.

"Oh?"

"Sorry" I chuckle. "That sounds exactly like something you would want to do."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean that you wanting to apologize to that ass is just like you."

"Oh."

"A heads up would have been nice but I understand why you did it Sid. I loved the look on Rossi's face after you left. He was stunned and flabbergasted at the same time. It was hilarious."

"How did the rest of the day go?"

"It went quickly which was the goal. I had a lot of meetings so I was I only alone with Rossi a couple of times. His questions were exactly as expected so I had answers for them. It's out of my hands now and he's going to write whatever story he wants, we can't control it, so it's done."

"I really am sorry that I put you in the position to have to make that deal Anna. It was stupid and I can only promise that it won't happen again. Ok?"

"Ok" I reply and smile.

Excepting his apology is easy because it didn't piss me off that Sid punched Rossi but rather the reason why he did it. Just like understanding why he apologized to Rossi today doesn't eliminate the 'why' he did it. That's still an issue for us.

"How did the day go other than Rossi?" he asks me.

"It was crazy, as usual, but went ok" I tell him. "I think we've established a rhythm that everyone on the team is happy with and can follow. The next road trip is planned and everyone knows their assignments. I've given Adam more responsibility. He's ready for it and really eager to take on more and broader work."

"That's great and frees you up for other things I guess."

I almost sigh at his words. Is he, once again, telling me that I need help and that the job is too big for me?

"It's helpful, yes" I tell him.

"Do you want to go with me to the airport tomorrow to pick up Taylor?" he asks me.

I think about it and decide against it.

"Maybe I should meet you later so that you guys can catch up first" I tell him.

"Ok" he frowns. "You still want to meet her, right?"

"Of course I do" I reply. "I can't wait to meet Taylor and grill her for details about a young Sidney. She must have some dirt."

Sid chuckles and settles back in his chair, physically appearing more comfortable now.

"Why don't we have dinner at my place?" Sid asks. "I can barbeque some steaks and keep track of the family secrets that Taylor decides to spill."

"I'd like that Sidney."

"Good."

Our conversation isn't strained but it is awkward. I desperately want the simplicity back in our relationship when we felt at ease with each other in any situation. Right now, it's like we don't know what to say or how to act.

"This is weird" Sid says.

"What is?"

"Me being in your hotel room, having to figure out what to say and how to say it to you, it all feels very weird."

"I was thinking something similar."

Sid smiles, stands and joins me on the sofa.

"I also don't like being that far away from you" he says.

Sid turns his body so that he's facing me and slings his arm over the back of the sofa. I cross my legs so that I'm turned toward him too. I feel the usual electricity spark between us and I'm drawn to him. Sid must feel it too because his eyes glance down to lips as I run my tongue lightly over them. I can almost taste his lips on mine the sense memory is so strong.

"How did we get here?" leaves my lips as the words pass through my mind.

"Wasn't this supposed to be easy?" Sid asks rhetorically. "We were back together, living in the same home and working in the same place. It was supposed to be simple."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. We were both wrong."

"Yeah" he replies.

"This is hardly easy."

"It definitely isn't simple."

"Was it ever?" I ask.

"I thought it was, before, you know."

I know he's thinking about how I lied to him two years ago. He thought our relationship was simple but it was anything but simple.

"Where do we go from here?" I ask him.

Sid shrugs.

"You know, the guys have told me that I didn't really deal with what happened when we broke up and that I'll never move past it if I don't. I'll never trust you if I don't."

That makes me smile.

"My friends" I begin. "My friends tell me that I haven't asked you about the time we were apart to learn about what you went through so that I can understand you better."

"My friends are right" Sid says softly and shifts so that he's closer to me.

"So are mine" I reply and slide closer to Sid on the sofa. "Where does that leave us?" I ask again.

Sid runs the back of his fingers down my temple and cheek until he's cupping my face.

"Fuck if I know" he growls.

We move together and meet in the middle lips first. I feel like a starving woman and only Sidney can fill me up. My lips move eagerly, sliding over his and revelling in his unique flavour. I moan and Sid takes advantage of the opening by sliding his tongue through my lips and over mine. The familiar feelings flowing through my body settle deep inside and between my legs.

Sid's free hand at my waist pulls me onto his lap and I go willingly. My skirt slides up my thighs as I straddle his waist and my hips tilt when his hand runs under the back of my skirt. My hands make quick work to loosen his tie and undo the first few buttons of his shirt that I find there. With his neck exposed, I slide my lips over his jaw and down neck. His groan excites me as much as his nimble fingers finding the flesh exposed above my stockings. They slide up the back of my thighs further until he reaches the hem of my panties. Of course he doesn't stop there, thank god. It only takes a few moments for those clever fingers to find their goal, between my hot, wet folds. It's always a wonder to me how quickly my body responds to his touch.

I seek his lips again where my moans are smothered. I bite down on his bottom lip and then sooth with my tongue. When I repeat the action, Sid's hips thrust up hard and fast, seeking the same coupling that I know I desperately need too. Should we do this? We've figure nothing out, solved none of our issues, but my body doesn't seem to care and it's beginning to overwhelm my mind. Before it prevents me from any sane thoughts, I push back from Sid so that there is space between us but I'm still on his lap. His fingers slide back to my hips and I instantly feel bereft.

I lean my forehead against his and we both try to catch our breath. The hard muscles in his chest beneath my fingers make them itch to touch his bare skin. I exert all of my willpower to stop my thoughts from becoming actions.

"This is so hard" Sid whispers.

"I can tell" I reply.

We both chuckle at my lame joke.

"I don't want you to move but maybe you should" Sid tells me.

I agree and slide off of his lap so that I'm sitting next to him on the sofa. I lift my hips to slide my skirt down and Sid shifts to make himself more comfortable. When his arm reaches around my shoulders, I lean into him and lay my head against his shoulder. I sigh when he kisses my forehead.

"I guess there's nothing wrong with this part of our relationship" I whisper.

"There never has been" Sid says and kisses my temple. "You need to stop that if you don't want to finish it."

I look down at my hand running up and down his thigh. I didn't even realize that I was doing it until I looked down and saw my hand moving.

Suddenly, I don't want to stop. I always feel closer to Sidney when we make love and the emptiness deep inside of me cries out with need. Following my head has gotten me nowhere so far. I'm working constantly, seeing Sid only infrequently, and I'm miserable. Maybe it's time that I add my heart back into the mix. Decision made, I stand up in front of Sid who looks puzzled.

"First" I begin. "I'd like you to plan a date for us next week on your day off. I'll take the whole day off too and we'll spend it together. Ok?"

He still looks puzzled but nods.

"Good, now second, I'd love to have dinner with you and your sister tomorrow at your house and then I'll ask her to have lunch with me the next day after practice. I think it would be great to spend some time with her alone. Ok?"

He smiles now and nods again.

"Good" I say again and hold my hand out to him. "Finally, I'd very much like you to come with me to the bedroom and make love with me. Ok?"

His smile widens, he stands and takes my hand, and nods again.

We walk hand in hand until we're at the foot of my bed where Sid takes off his jacket and tie while I unbutton my blouse. Next, I step out of my shoes and unzip my skirt so that it falls to the floor. Sid unbuckles his belt, unzips his pants and they follow my skirt.

Before I can remove any more clothing, Sid drops to his knees in front of me and slowly roles down first one of my stockings and then the other. When he stands again, I deftly unbutton his shirt and slide it off of his shoulders, then pull the hem of his tee shirt up over his head. I can't resist running my hands over the hard planes of his chest and, when I get to his stomach, I feel Sid shiver as my fingers trace each muscle.

I lean in, take a quick lick of his lips and then slide one hand inside of his shorts to cup him. I'm always amazed at how hard and smooth he feels pulsing in my hand. His breath quickly becomes laboured as I slowly stroke his hard length. Sid is still as a statue except for the steady movement of his chest up and down with each breath.

Slowly I push him back until he backs into the bed. Now it's my turn to drop to my knees and I pull his shorts down so that he springs free. With one hand, I push Sid so that he's sitting on the bed but before I can grab him again, with my lips this time, Sid pulls me down to the bed and twists us so that he's on top of me.

"My turn" he says.

Sid kisses my lips, down my neck and over the swells of my breasts. He pulls down the straps of my bra and then the cups to release my breasts to his mouth. Sid's lips close over my nipple and his fingers nimbly unhook and release my bra, throwing it to follow our other clothes onto the floor.

"You've become leaner here" he says as his fingers slide over my waist. "And here" he says sliding over my hips while pulling down my panties. "But thank god" he begins as his fingers cup my breasts now. "Thank god you aren't leaner here."

His teeth lightly bite down on my nipple while his fingers dig into the curves of my breasts. His plump lips suck to sooth and then his teeth sink into my nipple again. Fuck, this man knows exactly how to play my body. Before I can adjust, his lips travel further down, over my stomach, skipping the junction between my legs, and to my inner thigh. My hips shift, needing his lips where I'm most desperate, then I can feel Sidney chuckle against my skin.

"Patience baby" he whispers.

Sid continues to kiss down my thigh and pulls my panties to follow his lips. He takes his time, too much time for my preference, but he does make his way back up my other thigh until he reaches where I'm desperate to feel him. Fuck, he keeps going up my stomach and to my breasts again. Before Sid can move further, I push him back and reverse our positions so that I'm straddling his waist.

I run my fingers up and down his chest scraping lightly with my nails. Sid's groan encourages me and I add more pressure. His fingers dig into the soft flesh at my waist and he groans again. I slide down to follow my fingers with my mouth and lick and kiss my way across his chest. I love the smell and taste of his skin and can feel my own body reacting to his.

Sidney

This woman makes me lose my balance constantly. First, she makes me promise to take her on a date. Then she brings me into the bedroom to make love with her. Now, she's completely taken over and doing things to my body that I hope will never stop. Her fingers, lips and tongue are everywhere and I can barely keep up with the pleasure running through my body.

Anna sits up, straddling my hips, and I can't take my eyes off of her. My fingers have taken down bun so that her hair flows over her shoulders in a wavy mess that's sexy as hell. Her beasts are full and nipples hard from my early ministrations. Her mouth, oh fuck, her mouth is plump and wet making me desperate to taste it again.

That's the last coherent thought I have. The rest of my thoughts are fragments of feelings and sensations. Anna positions herself directly over me and slowly sinks down. She's wet, hot and tight as I fill her completely. Her long moan makes me harder so that I think I might explode immediately and I need to focus to last longer. It's been too long since I've been buried in this perfect place.

I instinctively know that Anna wants to take control so I wait for her to set the pace. Slowly, Anna begins to rock her hips so that I slip shallowly in and out. When she rocks back, I rub lightly over her clit and she moans each time until it is one, long moan. Again, I need to focus hard so that I don't simply blow.

With her legs so wide to straddle my hips, I'm able to see and touch her while she continues to ride me. Anna cries out when my thumb pushes down on her clit and then louder when I push and rub simultaneously. Her hands reach back to each rest on each thigh and that thrusts her hips further forward into my hand. I rub harder and faster and her hips speed up in response.

The need to feel her skin against mine, to feel her heat fully against me, is too overwhelming so I sit up and encircle her waist with my arms pulling her to me. This stops her movements, her wild eyes find mine and her hands rest on my shoulders.

I lightly kiss her lips, keeping my eyes open so that I can watch hers, and slowly begin thrusting up. Anna tilts her hips each time to meet me. I watch her as I slowly speed up my thrusts and she continues to follow. Her lips part as her breath speeds up and she looks her most glorious and beautiful. I can feel her tighten around me as her orgasm approaches. Finally, her eyes close, her head rolls back, and her orgasm washes over her. Thankfully I can let go and three more thrusts is all I need.

I fall back and bring Anna with me while she convulses and shakes. I love the feeling of her warm body resting on mine, lying in my arms, and her breath against my chest. She is straddling my hips although I have softened and slipped out of her. Her breath slows and she starts to shift. I hold her tight against me.

"I must be heavy" she says.

"Not a bit" I tell her. "Please don't move."

"Ok" she says and I can feel her smile against my chest. "This is exactly what I needed."

"Glad I could oblige" I tell her and shift my hips slightly to rub against her.

"Not that" she says. "Although I definitely liked that, a lot. No, it's this moment that I needed. I never feel closer to you than after we make love."

"Me too" I admit, not realizing the truth until I say it.

"It's so hard to describe how I feel Sidney. I'm confused and disappointed and scared and, shit, I don't know what else I'm feeling. I simply knew that I had to feel this" she presses her lips briefly to my chest. "I had to feel this again."

"I'm not completely clear how I feel either" I admit, not realizing the truth in these words either until I say them. Hmm, maybe I should process my thoughts out loud more often. "This is what I needed too."

"It doesn't fix anything" she says.

"Yeah, I know" I agree. "But I have a date to plan."

I can feel her smiling again.

"I can't wait" she tells me. "And I'm really looking forward to spending time with Taylor. I know how important she is to you."

"You'll love her, I'm sure."

I lightly rub my hand up and down her spin and Anna sighs. She shifts her head and leaves a few light kisses on my chest.

"I'll need a little time to rest if you want another round babe" I joke but it's still true.

Anna rolls to my side and I'm surprised when she pulls me with her so that I'm lying on top of her body with her legs and arms encircling me.

"Now I'm definitely too heavy" I tell her.

"You're going to laugh at me but I love the feeling of your body on top of mine, pressing down on me, between my legs. I don't know, it's hard to explain."

"Then don't" I tell her. "I love being able to look into your beautiful eyes and see you smile up at me."

Anna's fingers run lightly up and down my spine while I brush her hair back from her face. I'm holding a lot of my weight on my elbows so I don't crush her no matter what she says.

"This is exactly what I needed" she says. "Everything is perfect in this moment."

She frowns and casts her eyes away from mine.

"What?" I ask.

"Maybe I shouldn't go back to work" she says. "If that's what's keeping us apart then maybe I should stop doing it."

Part of me wants to shout 'yes!' and part of me knows it isn't the right thing for Anna or for us. But if all of our arguments are about her work then quitting would stop the arguments, right? I'm so confused. When Anna looks up at me, she looks so sad that I know what I must do regardless of my unanswered questions.

"No" I tell her. "You can't do that Anna. You love what you do and you were right when you said a few weeks ago that the boredom of being only a girlfriend would kill you. We can't be happy together if we're both not happy on our own. I've learned that much from watching my friends and their relationships."

"Where does that leave us?" she asks and I watch her eyes fill with tears.

I shift to my side, so that Anna and I are facing each other, and then I pull the comforter over us.

"It leaves us exactly where we were thirty minutes ago babe. We're trying to figure everything out, together."

Anna

Sid is right, we haven't gained any ground but, thankfully, we haven't lost any either. The hope I was feeling slides quickly away but sadness doesn't fill its place. Maybe I was hoping for an easy fix to our problems by sleeping with Sid but it has brought me some peace. I cup Sid's cheek.

"Yes we are still trying to figure things out, together" I agree and have an idea. "I think we should plan to do something together every day. We can have lunch or dinner."

"Or a sleep over" he says and winks at me.

"I like that idea" I reply. Then I remember something that Matt said. "Sidney, what did you do after we broke up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know that Sully joined the team and you guys won the Stanley Cup, but what else were you doing? What else happened for you?"

He looks away and I can clearly see pain on his face as he remembers that time. I feel guilt settle in my chest knowing that I put that pain there.

"After you left, I only focused on one thing, hockey, but my game was shit. We had a longer Christmas break than usual so I went back home for a few days. Actually, I didn't talk or think about hockey that whole time. I focused on enjoying the holiday and family and friends. It was, I don't know, healing for me."

"When you went back after Christmas, you lit up the league" I say.

"You knew?"

"Well, I didn't stop following the Pens just because I left. I was so happy to see how well you and the team were playing and when you won the Cup, I thought it would kill me during that last game waiting for the end of the third period."

I can still remember the fear and frustration of watching the clock slowly run down. Sid was on the ice for almost the entire last three minutes.

"It was an exciting time" Sid says. "The parade was incredible with almost three hundred thousand people in Pittsburgh. Of course there were more people at the parade in Cole Harbour than actually lived in town. We had a massive party at my house like in 2009 for friends and family. I also had the volunteers from the hockey school."

He's been smiling widely as he recounts the time after winning the Cup but now he frowns and furrows his brow.

"What?" I ask.

"It was a great time but, um, during the oddest moments I would turn to share something with you or pick up my phone to call."

"And I wasn't there" I finish softly.

"No."

"I wish that I had been there to share it with you."

He gives me a small smile and then rolls onto his back, pulling me with him so that I'm cuddled under his arm. I wish that things could have been different and regret that I couldn't be with Sidney to celebrate his success. I feel horrible that, during a time of extreme highs, Sid was sad that I wasn't there with him. Matt and Adam were right and I desperately need to understand what Sid went through while we were apart. It has made him who he is now and I need to make sure that I know the real Sidney just as I insist that he needs to know the real me.

"Good night" Sidney whispers and kisses the top of my head.

"Good night."


	44. Chapter 44

Anna

I'm nervous, and the closer that I get to Sid's house, the more nervous I become. The dinner with Taylor will be casual but very important. I stopped at the hotel to get changed after work. The jeans and shirt I'm wearing are probably more appropriate for a casual dinner at home than the suit that I wore to work. Maybe I'm overthinking the whole thing but I want it to be perfect. Taylor is as vital to Sid's life as breathing and I can't even comprehend the implications if she doesn't like me.

"Is this it?" the driver asks.

"Yes" I tell him. "You can drop me at the gate."

I pay him and get out of the car. After a deep breath, I enter the gate code and walk up to the front door after it opens. Now what do I do? I decide to knock. Sid and I aren't living together so I don't want to make any assumptions that I can simply walk in.

The door opens and Sid smiles broadly then kisses me thoroughly before I even completely walk through the doorway.

When we pull apart, he's smiling again.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi."

I give Sid one more quick kiss as I pass by him, take off my coat and shoes, and then walk toward the bright light in the kitchen. Taylor is there drinking a glass of wine. I'm glad I decided to wear jeans because that's exactly how Sid and Taylor are dressed. Her hair is in a ponytail and she wears no make-up and minimal jewelry. When she smiles, I can see that it matches Sid's.

"Taylor, Anna" Sid says. "Anna this is Taylor."

Taylor stands and we shake hands.

"How was your trip here?" I ask as I sit with her at the kitchen table.

Sid pours me a glass of wine and then joins us while Taylor tells me that her trip was smooth.

"I guess you spend a lot of time on planes like Sid does" I say.

"Not as many as Sid does but I do know a lot of airports intimately" Taylor responds.

"I think the whole family can navigate the terminal in Toronto with our eyes closed" Sid says.

"I would think that you saw your share of airplanes during the campaign" Taylor says to me.

For a very brief moment, I would swear that I see Taylor's eyes become dark and hard but then she quickly continues.

"Sorry about that" she says referring to her comment about my previous life.

"No problem" I tell her and smile. "We actually went around the state in buses stopping at each town along the way. We used very few planes unfortunately."

The mood in the room is very uncomfortable so I change the subject.

"Sid tells me that you're playing for team Canada again in the World Cup" I say to Taylor.

That has her smiling.

"Yeah, I'm going to be the starting goalie this year. I was only the back up the last two years" Taylor tells me.

"You should have started last year" Sid says.

"So you've told me over and over. You more than anyone should know that the coach makes the decision" she argues.

I can tell that this is a familiar conversation between them and I'm not surprised. Sid is very proud of his sister's accomplishments and I can imagine that he would stand up for her fiercely.

"Was your choice to be a goalie because your dad was one?" I ask her.

Taylor looks surprised.

"Yeah, I guess that was part of it. I also started hockey later than Sid did and goalie fit me more naturally than any other position. I liked the idea of stopping this guy's shots too" she nods towards Sid.

"I hear there have been epic battles between you two practicing that transferred off the ice too" I look between them.

They glance at each other and then both laugh. I smile now hearing the same laugh and watching their same smiles. For a moment, I wish that I had that kind of relationship with my sister. We missed so much both as children and now as adults.

"Mom had to lay down the law" Sid says.

"Yeah" Taylor agrees. "If we can't leave it on the ice then we can't practice together."

"You just couldn't handle it when I went top shelf" Sid says.

"You couldn't handle it when I stopped your famous backhand" she retorts.

"I suspect that you are two of the most competitive people that I've ever met and doubt that will ever change" I tell them. "Are you able to practice together and leave it on the ice?"

The look at each other again and laugh. I guess they can't.

"We're going to see tomorrow" Taylor says.

Sid gets up and goes outside to light the BBQ while Taylor and I go into the kitchen. I look in the fridge and see that Sid bought potatoes and vegetables to grill too. I pull them out of the fridge, place them in the sink and start washing them.

"You seem to know your way around" Taylor says to me.

How do I answer that? She must know that I spend time here with Sid, we have known each other for a while, but she is his sister and it's weird to discuss my relationship. I decide to be honest but careful too.

"You know Sid" I tell her. "If I want to eat then I cook. He heats, reheats and orders. Oh, he BBQs too but how much grilled meat can you eat."

She smiles.

"Mom had to teach him that meat shouldn't be 'blackened'," she tells me. "He charred everything when he first got the grill at his place in Cole Harbour. Sid insisted in having us over for dinner so mom stepped in so we didn't have an entire summer of indigestion."

"Are you still complaining about my BBQing?" Sid says as he walks into the kitchen. "It was ten years ago Tay, let it go."

Taylor grins at her brother and it's clear how much she adores and loves him. I feel a little nervous again hoping that she likes me. Taylor is as important to Sidney as he is to her.

"Do you want to grill the vegetables?" I ask Sid.

Sid agrees and takes the potatoes back outside with him. Taylor begins creating the marinade for the steaks and I cut the vegetables.

"How are you enjoying the new role with the Pens?" Taylor asks me.

"It's crazy busy, even more than I thought, and I love every minute of it. The PR team is phenomenal so I'm very lucky to have them or else it would be too much. I think I've finally figured out a rhythm to the days between planning and strategy and the firefighting can be wild."

"You mean like when Sid punched Rossi?" I must look surprised because she continues. "Sid tells us everything."

The way she emphasizes that last word catches my attention. It makes me wonder if there really is something underlying the word or if I'm simply reading into it because I'm nervous. I quickly decide to ignore it and focus on Rossi.

"Yeah, Sid put us in a spot there but we figured it out. I wish I could have seen it though" I tell her lowering my voice. "Rossi had a vivid shiner. It was awesome."

I wink at her and she chuckles.

"Yeah, he deserved it. Did you see any of the shit he wrote about Sid during his concussion?"

"No but I did hear about it. Taylor, do you mind me asking about that time? Sid doesn't want to talk about it. How tough was it during his concussions?"

Taylor puts the meat into the marinade and then sits at the breakfast bar in front of me. She takes a deep drink of her wine before speaking.

"It was tough Anna. At first, he was frustrated that he kept having setbacks, which is the same any player goes through with any injury. They can never heal fast enough. But as it dragged on, weeks turned into months, he became more and more depressed. That first summer was the worst I've ever seen him. The headaches and sensitivity to light were debilitating and it was horrible on my parents too. They didn't know how to help him or what to do for him."

"It must have been difficult for you too" I say softly.

"Mostly because I was at Shattucks during the school year and couldn't see him myself. Once he came out to a tournament I was playing in but that's when he could fly. For most of the time he wasn't allowed on planes."

"It must have been a very happy day when he went back on the ice" I reply.

"For us, sure, but for Sid it was beyond happy because, essentially, it was like getting his life back. I'd really never seen him so lost as during those eighteen months until you left him two years ago. He completely closed off and wanted to discuss nothing, do nothing, except play hockey."

I'm stunned by her words and desperate to ask her a million questions; but, Sid comes into the kitchen and our conversation needs to stop.

Sidney

It's clear that Taylor and Anna are getting along and I couldn't be happier. If I'm honest then I'll admit that I was nervous about them meeting because it's essential that they get along. Actually, it's more than wanting them to get along. We're all going to be family one day and those relationships begin now. My parents will come down in a couple of weeks for Christmas and I know that time will be important for my parents and Anna to get to know each other better. This year we have three full days off that the five of us can spend together.

I can see Anna and Taylor in the kitchen together from my spot at the BBQ. They're clearly talking and enjoying each other while they get dinner together. It's sweet how nervous Anna was when she came in the door. Sure, she thought that she was hiding it and she did pretty well with Taylor; but, it's been a long time since she could hide anything from me. Of course I am equally unable to hide anything from her either.

The steaks are almost finished so I take off the vegetables and potatoes and bring them into the kitchen.

"Tay, take these please" I say at the door.

That finished, I return to the steaks. Thank god I've learned how to BBQ properly. Those first few tries at my grill in Cole Harbour were almost inedible and I was secretly grateful that my mom helped me learn how to cook properly. Dinners were much more enjoyable after those lessons.

I turn off the grill and bring the steaks inside to where Anna and Taylor are sitting down at the kitchen table. More wine has been poured and all of the food is on the table. It may be sappy but I don't know that I've been this happy in a while. I've missed Taylor and having her here, alone and without my parents, is rare and I savour every moment.

"This is delicious" Anna says after trying the steak.

"It's the marinade."

"It's the cooking."

Taylor and I say at the same time which, of course, leads us into a sibling 'conversation' which many might call an argument. She brings up all of the singed meals she had when I first started BBQing and I tease her about how easy it is to follow a marinade recipe. As we continue to go back and forth, I look at Anna across from me and catch her smiling at us. It makes me wonder if she ever had these kinds of moments with her sister. Unfortunately, I suspect she never did.

Later, after we've finished dinner and cleaned up, the three of us sit in the family room talking. Anna and Taylor are on their second or maybe it's their third bottle of wine while I long ago switched to water. They are giggling together like old friends and have decided to bond over making fun of me. I guess I didn't think carefully enough that I've brought two girls together who know me extraordinarily well. They are currently ripping me on my pre-game rituals.

"Once I stopped him to ask a question, I don't remember what it was about, and he was on the way to his pre-game PB&J. He stopped but I could tell that he was clearly anxious. He very hesitantly and calmly asked if we could walk and talk. It wasn't until we were in the players' lounge that I realized why he asked. He would have been late for his sandwich if we hadn't kept going. Actually, it was kind of cute" Anna says.

The most recent annoying thing is how they're speaking about me in the third person as if I wasn't in the room. Of course they are doing it on purpose.

"You definitely don't want to interfere in the PB&J" Taylor agrees. "Do you know that he hasn't talked to my mother on game day in eleven years?"

"Good grief, why?"

"The last time that he did, he injured his ankle in the game so he doesn't talk to her before games."

"Ok, ok, ok" I say. "You guys have had your fun. Yes, I have routines before every game, but so do you" I look at Taylor. "Which pad do you always put on first? And isn't there a particular teammate that you don't talk to an hour before the game?"

"Yeah but that's because she doesn't want to talk to me, it's not my 'routine,' and everyone has a specific pad or skate that they put on first. It's not unusual" Taylor argues back.

It was a momentary diversion but the girls quickly go back to chirping me. It isn't until Taylor starts yawning that the party breaks up.

"I really have to get some sleep" she says and we all stand.

"We're on for lunch tomorrow, right?" Anna asks her.

"Definitely, after practice" Taylor answers.

The girls hug and Taylor says goodnight. Anna picks up her phone.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"Calling a cab."

"You're not staying here?"

"No, I'm not sleeping here with your sister in the house."

"Oh."

"It's not going to happen Sidney."

I know when to retreat.

"Ok, but I'm driving you home" I tell her.

"Ok" she says and smiles wistfully.

Wow, she really is drunk if she's not arguing with me. She gave me a pretty good argument when I wanted to pick her up after work and drive her here. Clearly she won because she took a cab.

I tell Taylor that I'm driving Anna home and then meet Anna in the truck.

"I like your sister" Anna says as I turn out of my driveway.

"I'm glad. She really likes you too."

"Maybe" Anna replies.

"What do you mean by 'maybe'?"

"Hmm?"

I glance at Anna and she's looking at me, smiling. There is no way that we'll be able to have a real conversation seeing how drunk she is right now. I pull my attention back to the road.

"You're so damn hot" Anna says and I feel her fingers on the nap of my neck. "Even with clothes on, you're really hot; but, without your clothes, mmm."

I chuckle. She's going to regret this if she even remembers it in the morning. I can only make out the outline of her face now as we drive down a dark back street but I can tell that she's turned completely toward me.

Her fingers slide over my shoulder, arm and then rest on my thigh where they slowly stroke up and down. Hmm, maybe I can take Anna up to her room and indulge in some fun. I won't be able to stay all night because my sister is at home but that doesn't mean that I can't 'visit'. Anna seems to be thinking the same thing; at least I suspect so since her fingers have moved from my thigh to my trace my dick over my jeans.

"Anna?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm driving here."

"Who's stopping you?"

I chuckle. Drunken Anna is a lot of fun. Her fingers become more aggressive as they press down with more pressure and cup my dick fully. I reach down and grab her wrist.

"Anna, seriously, I'm driving."

"Then pull over" she says and uses her other hand to unzip my jeans.

I'm afraid that I'm going drive us off the road so I pull over to the side of the dark road. The only illumination is from the car dashboard.

"Good idea" she says.

No sooner do I have the car in park then Anna has unzipped my jeans and pulled out my dick.

"Anna, wait" is all I can get out.

She holds my now hard dick at the base and leans down so that her lips enclose over the tip. When did she undo her seatbelt? All other thought leaves my head as her lips and tongue go to work. I must let go of her other wrist because I feel her hand settle on my thigh.

Her mouth is hot and wet and slides silkily up and down my length. I groan every time I hit the back of her throat and every time I groan her fingernails dig into my thigh. God, she is so fucking hot. Her hair falls over her face so I reach down and wind it around my hand to hold it back. When she looks up at me, the blue light of the dashboard shines off half of her face and she smiles before licking me base to tip. Fuck!

Her head hits the steering wheel so I grab for the controls and push the seat back away from the steering wheel.

Just when I don't think she could get any hotter, she lowers her head again only this time taking one of my balls in her mouth. Fuck, when did she start doing that? Her hand starts stroking my full length while her mouth continues to suck.

I look down to watch her again and I notice that, from the waist up, she's almost climbed completely onto my lap. There is a gap between her lower back and her jeans which gives me just enough room. I slide my hand into her jeans, between her cheeks, she shivers as I pass over her anus, and then I slide lower. She's wet, god how wet, so my middle finger slips inside her. Anna moans, long and deep, and I feel the vibrations over my balls. They slip out of her mouth and her hand stops stroking, simply grasping my dick at the base.

I take advantage of her preoccupation and push my finger in deeper, swirling around and pushing against her wall. She cries out so I repeat the action again and again which causes her hand to tighten around me and I groan. I'm not going to last much longer.

I slip my finger out of her heat but don't give her time to think because I slide my finger further this time until I reach her clit. She's moved at the same time and takes my dick deep in her mouth again. I move my fingers to alternate between rubbing and pushing down on her clit which is easy to do since she my fingers are so wet from being inside of her.

"Ow" I exclaim when her teeth tighten a little too hard.

"Sorry" she says and moans when I push down and rub simultaneously.

Anna closes her hand over my dick but remains still while work over her clit. I increase speed and pressure and Anna moans which quickly becomes panting. My palm gets wetter as she responds to my fingers working her clit. She's leaking steadily. I move as fast as I can and her panting gets faster and faster until she gives up a long moan and cums all over my hand.

While her orgasm washes over her, I indulge myself and slide two fingers inside of her and feel the vibrations and slick, wet heat. Holy shit, she really is fucking hot. When Anna sighs, I remove my fingers and have to wipe them on her jeans they're so wet. I get harder when she sighs.

"Mmmm" she moans.

Slowly, her hand slides up and down my engorged dick and I know that it won't take long now, not after hearing her moan as she cums.

I finally give up trying to keep my eyes open, even if she is hot to watch, and let my eyes close and my head fall back against the headrest.

Her mouth moves back to my dick and pulls it in to the hilt. Her nimble fingers roll my balls around in her hand and squeeze and tug simultaneously. Fuck! She has to toss her hair to the side since I've let it go and then she picks up the speed. It really isn't going to take long now.

When I hit the back of her throat one last time, I give up and let my orgasm wash over me as Anna sucks me dry. Afterward, it takes a few moments for me to collect myself so that I can open my eyes and become aware of my surroundings.

When I do open my eyes, I see that not only has Anna sat up but her head is lying on the backrest and she is either asleep or has passed out. I give thanks that we're on a deserted back road, pull my myself back together, and continue our drive back to her hotel.

Once out front, I try to wake her up but she won't wake to full consciousness. Instead, she tells me she wants to sleep and to leave her alone. Not wanting anyone to see me carrying her into the hotel, I get out of the car and ask the valet where their back door is. Thankfully he recognizes me and tells me where to go. I drive around to the back in time to see the valet open a door.

He helps us up the cargo elevator and to Anna's door. I give him my car keys so that he can bring it around to the front door and he leaves. I undress Anna and put her into bed all without her making more than a sigh. After leaving a kiss on her forehead, I leave the room with some regret that I can't stay.

It only takes me a few moments to tell the front desk to set up a wakeup call and then get my keys from the valet.

"Thanks Sid" he says to me enthusiastically when he sees the tip I give him.

I'm actually humming as I drive away. It turned into a really great, if unexpected, night.

Anna

What the hell is that incessant ringing? When I open an eye, I see the red light on the night table phone light up with each ring. Oh, that's what it is.

"Hello" I say when I pick up the phone.

The automated wakeup call plays so I hang up. I think back over last night and try to remember how I got home. I remember dinner, Taylor and I finishing off a second or maybe third bottle of wine, and then Sid drove me home, I think. Oh. Ohhhhhh. Everything that happened after we left his house washes over me.

Wow, I guess we had some fun in his car although I don't remember anything after that until the phone woke me up. Sid must have set the wakeup call for me for my usual 6am. There's no way that I'm going to be able to run like I usually do but it will take a little extra time for me to get going this morning.

It's only after a litre of water, a couple of aspirin and a very cold shower that I'm able to become fully -alert. They crisp, almost winter air does the rest of the job to bring me back to my regular self. The office is quiet, as usual, which allows me to fly through the emails that I didn't get to last evening because I turned off my phone. I didn't want anything to intrude on my evening with the Crosby siblings.

"Ready for another Starbucks?" I hear Adam call to me from my office doorway.

A look at my clock tells me that I've been working for hours.

"You are my hero" I reply.

Adam chuckles, comes into the office and sits in a chair across from me. I can smell the coffee even before he hands it to me and I almost salivate. The first sip tastes like ambrosia.

"So" Adam says. "How did dinner go?"

Adam knows that I met Taylor last night.

"I got a little drunk" I tell him. "Actually, Taylor and I drank a few bottles of wine; but, it went really well. At least, I think it did."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not something that I can really put my finger on but she made a few comments that had me thinking, I don't know. I just wondered if something was going on."

"You're making no sense" he says.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not making sense to me either."

"Ok, fine" he says and holds up his hands. "You're having lunch with her today, right?"

"Yeah I am."

"Maybe you'll know then."

That reminds me of practice and I look at my watch.

"I'm going down to watch practice. You want to come down with me?"

"I have a couple of emails to send and then I will" he tells me.

We walk out together, I go through the intern's bullpen and stop to chat with those at their desks, and then I continue down to ice level. The locker room is empty so practice must be under way. When I pass the trainer's room, I see Taylor.

"Good morning" I say. "How is your head?"

Taylor smiles and replies "better after a few aspirins. You?"

"Same."

"That's good. I'll see you after practice."

"Great. Oh, I forgot to ask you Taylor. If the media wants to talk to you, do you want me to tell them that you aren't speaking to the press or do you want to give them some time?"

"If they ask then I can give them a few minutes after practice" she tells me.

It's exactly what I expected. Taylor is as accommodating as her brother and the rest of the Crosby family.

"Ok. Adam will let you know and help you out."

"Cool."

I leave to go out to the ice and find my favourite seat in the stands. The guys are still warming up and the coaches are skating around too. It only takes a few more minutes before practice begins.

I answer emails on my tablet while practice continues. Adam joins me about halfway through and works on his own tablet.

"Oh, if a reporter wants to talk with Taylor, she's agreed to give them a few minutes. Would you take care of it and her?" I ask.

"Sure."

When practice ends, Adam goes to the locker room and I stay because I want to watch Taylor and Sid skate together. Sid is currently practicing tip-ins with Kris Letang. A couple of younger guys are at the other end with Matt Murray practicing specific plays under the direction of Rick Tocchet.

Taylor slips onto the ice quietly as I've come to expect from the Crosby's. The one thing that they all have in common is that they are quiet and unassuming. They don't seek attention and even try to shy away from it when it's centred on them. That's often difficult for Sid since he has a high profile in the NHL and I suspect that he has come to a resigned easiness with the attention.

I give my full interest to ice level and watch Taylor skate to the empty net where Sid and Kris are currently. She completes the usual goalie routine of sweeping snow from the crease and practices side to side movements. When she's ready, she assumes the `ready' position and Kris and Sid begin shooting to warm her up. When Taylor is ready, she stretches out and then nods her head to Sid. I can't hear what he says, but Sid calls to the guys at the other end of the ice. Rick is gone ,and so is Matt, so it's only the couple of forwards and defense.

When they're all at the same end, the guys start the familiar practice routine that they use for pre-game warmup. I'm impressed that Taylor is stopping most of their shots. Of course, this is just warm up but even I can see that she's good.

The players come together at centre ice, talk for a few seconds and then the defensemen get into position. The forwards, led by Sid, set up and then the play begins. I primarily watch Taylor. It's fascinating to watch goalies track the puck because, no matter what their body does, their eyes always stay on the puck. Taylor can be pushing Patric out of the crease but her eyes are on the puck the entire play. Sid taps her pads as he skates by after she makes a particularly good save. If I didn't know hockey, I would assume that this is a brotherly gesture; but, I've seen Sid do this hundreds of times with Marc and Matt. It's a gesture of respect.

They continue to run plays for the next fifteen minutes and then set up for penalty shots. One after another, they guys fly in and take uninspired shots, at least it looks that way to me. When it's Sid's turn, he looks the same as I've seen him in every game and every practice. He skates fast, stick handles and toe drags to confuse, and then goes back hand, blocker side. I take a quick moment to be impressed that I know what all of those words mean and then notice that Sid has a huge grin on his face that gets even wider when Taylor says something to him. I think it began with an 'f'.

The guys begin their second passes and I can tell that they have taken Sid's lead. The shots on Taylor are more difficult and half of them go in this time. Taylor is frustrated that she's letting so many go in but I suspect that she's happier that they aren't taking it easy on her right now. After a few passes, one guy at a time waves and leaves the ice until it's only Sid and Taylor left. They chat for a few minutes and then Sid begins to take different paths from centre to the net. He does something different each time but mostly aims at top shelf blocker. This must be her weakness if he's helping her work on it.

Periodically, he stops and they talk. Taylor gets better as they go on. Of course I can't tell the exact changes that she's making but Sid is getting fewer shots in the net. When they stop, both Crosbys are bent over trying to catch their breath. I can see the smiles they exchange even while they try to breathe. I get up and walk down to the runway meeting Sid and Taylor as they skate off the ice.

"Looks like you guys had fun" I tell them.

"She did great" Sid says.

"I did ok" Taylor retorts. "Can you give me an hour or so?" she asks me.

"Sounds good. I'll be in my office" I tell her.

She leaves down the runway and Sid and I are alone.

"How's your head?" he asks me.

"It's fine now. Thank you for taking care of me."

"It was my pleasure" he winks at me. "Do you want to have dinner with us tonight?"

"Actually, I have a so much work to catch up on that I'll need to stay late. I'm sorry" I tell him and can see how disappointed he is. "Are you going out tonight? I could meet you guys for a drink later."

He smiles again.

"Ok. Some of the guys want to get together. I'll let you know where we go and you can meet us there, sound good?"

"Sounds great" I tell him.

He's even taller with his skates on so, even with heels on, I have to stand on my toes to give him a kiss.

"I'll see you later" he tells me and, after one more kiss, he disappears down the runway on his way to the locker room.

I'm sure that my team has the media scrum handled so I go back to my office. I want to give them more opportunities to handle things themselves and give Adam the opportunity to support them as required. Of course that means I need to be around less so they don't default to asking me for help. They are a talented group and I have faith in them.

In my office, I am drawn into a few issues that have come up with the casino night being planned for the Lemieux Foundation. I'm deep in reviewing event press releases when there is a knock on my door. I look up and see Taylor.

"Is this still a good time?" she asks me.

"Yes, definitely. This will all still be here when I get back" I tell her.

I close up my work and pick up my purse. I've made reservations at Taylor's favourite Pittsburgh restaurant that's a short cab ride from Consol. We chat amiably on our way and we're quickly at the restaurant then at our table.

"It looked like you had fun practicing with the guys" I tell her.

"Once they finally started playing" Taylor retorts.

"Yeah, I noticed that they were taking it easy on you in the beginning. Did I see it right? Was it when Sid went in on you, full speed, that they started really playing?"

"Yeah, he never takes it easy on me."

"Would you want him to?" I ask.

"Never. Even when I'm cursing him for being that good, I'm still glad that he always plays his best. I'm not going to get better if he takes it easy on me."

"It's great how close you guys are. I'm envious of your relationship."

"You don't have a good one with your sister?" Taylor asks.

"No, our relationship is, well, let's just say that we aren't close."

"Hmm" is all Taylor says.

The waiter brings our ice tea and then we're alone again. I guess this is as good a time as any to ask Taylor about yesterday.

"When we were preparing dinner, I, um, I got the impression that you didn't like me" I say softly.

"I don't know you Anna. How can I like or dislike you?"

I've been around enough politicians to know when I'm given a 'non-answer' as an answer to a question.

"That doesn't really answer the question" I say.

"No, I guess it doesn't."

I think about my next words carefully. The last thing I want is to make Taylor upset but we really need to clear the air for us to build a relationship.

"And still, that's not an answer" I say softly, trying to keep any malice out of my voice.

"It's very hard to like the woman who broke my brother's heart" Taylor tells me. "How dare you come back and try to pick up your relationship as if nothing happened and expect you and I to be best friends."

I physically sit back in my chair. Taylor's eyes are dark, her voice is hard with distinct malice in it, and she looks pissed. It's a complete change from her earlier, easy and friendly demeanor, and I'm stunned silent. This is not how I anticipated this lunch beginning.


	45. Chapter 45

Anna

"It's very hard to like the woman who broke my brother's heart" Taylor tells me. "How dare you come back and try to pick up your relationship as if nothing happened and expect you and I to be best friends."

I physically sit back in my chair. Taylor's eyes are dark, her voice is hard with distinct malice in it, and she looks pissed. It's a complete change from her earlier, easy and friendly demeanor, and I'm stunned silent. This is not how I anticipated this lunch beginning. How do I respond? What can I possibly say?

"I don't expect us to be best friends right now Taylor" I say carefully.

As I try to think of what to say next, I remember a politician that had some kind of scandal a few years ago and to get the media over it, he had a legendary press conference. He let the media ask him anything, he answered them honestly, and didn't stop until they had no more questions. It went on for hours but finally put the subject to rest and he was never asked about it again.

"Ask me anything Taylor?"

"What?"

"There must be questions you have for me. Go ahead and ask me anything."

She looks skeptical for a moment but must decide to humour me.

"Ok" she says. "Let's start with why you and Sid broke up. He wouldn't tell us anything when it happened except that you quit your job and went home."

She's starting with the big one.

"My father was going to run for President and, when it became public that I had an abortion, my parents told me to come home. I needed to help them manage the media backlash" I tell her.

"That's why you and Sid broke up? I don't believe that you would break up because you had to go home or because you had an abortion. So the news broke, your family demanded that you go home, but why did you and Sid break up?"

This is going to get tricky. I don't know if Sid wants his family to know that the baby I aborted was his but I want to be honest with her.

"I lied to him about the abortion" I tell her. "I won't discuss why with you, that's Sid's decision, but it wasn't the first time that I lied to him. Anyway, Sid had enough of it and I don't blame him."

"Honesty is very important to Sid" Taylor says. "He doesn't fully open himself up to others unless he completely trust them so it must have felt like he'd been betrayed when you lied."

As if I didn't feel bad enough about lying to Sidney, along comes his sister who twists the knife deeper into my heart. I don't blame her of course but it hurts nonetheless.

"After I left, we didn't speak or see each other for two years" I tell her.

"You found a replacement quickly" she says with spite.

It's getting harder not to blame her for being so nasty.

"I wouldn't say that Matt was a replacement" I tell her. "I helped my family with the election until my father was diagnosed with cancer. Matt and I had been friends for years since his father was mine's chief of staff. Anyway, he had been involved in local politics for a while and had been considering a seat in Congress. My father asked Matt to run for Governor but being single is definitely a problem in that position. Anyway, this may be modern day but my mother still lives in the old south in her mind, meaning that an arranged marriage or sorts is still done. Both sets of parents had always wished that Matt and I would get together but we were good friends and nothing more."

I take a sip of my tea before continuing.

"I knew that I wasn't in love with Matt, nor was he with me, but we did love each other. We decided to see what we would be like together. It was the easiest thing I've ever done. We slid into a loving relationship and partnership."

I was looking down at my ice tea while talking about how Matt and I got together. It was too hard to watch her as I told story. Now, as I look up, I can't read her expression so I wait.

"So you and this guy decided to get together because your families wanted it and he was going to run for Governor? This sounds like a reality show" she says.

I chuckle because she's right.

"Well, it made sense at the time" I replay.

"So why, after Matt won the election, did you leave him? Or were you only with him to win the election and then you planned on coming back to Sid?"

"No" I tell her emphatically. "My relationship, engagement, with Matt was real. We planned on getting married, having children and living a happy life together."

"So why blow it up?"

"I saw Sid, for the first time since we broke up, at a fundraiser at Mario's house. We talked for a few minutes but about nothing in particular. I couldn't stop thinking about him after that day and I guess I became distant or preoccupied and Matt noticed. Anyway, Matt was the first one to bring up that I was still in love with him and should try it again."

"Matt suggested that?" Taylor asks me.

"Yeah, he's a really good guy Taylor. Anyway, I grabbed a plane and showed up on Sid's door praying that he would at least let me in to talk to him."

"Of course he did" Taylor says and smiles.

I smile back at her and, for a moment, we both share knowledge of what a good guy Sidney is too.

"That's how and why I came back" I tell her.

"Why are you staying in a hotel?" she asks. "I'm not twelve and it's not a surprise to me that you're having sex."

"I was living with Sid and, although we learned from our previous mistakes, we've found new ones to make" I tell her. "We jumped back into our relationship without considering how difficult it might be to build a new one. We started fighting, a lot, so I moved out and we've started dating."

"I don't think that there is a better example of putting the cart before the horse" she says.

We both stop speaking when the server brings us our lunch. When he's gone, we pick up the conversation again.

"What else do you want to know?" I ask.

"I think that's it" she says. "For now."

I relax finally and pick up my fork to start eating. That didn't go as bad as I feared it would be. It looks like we've turned a corner in our relationship.

"Now I have some things that you need to know" she tells me in her icy voice again. "After his concussion, when he was healthy and back playing, Sid was different. He played as well as ever and maybe even better; but, he also sought more balance in his life. Hockey was no less important to him but he spent more time with friends during the season, my parents and I visited him more often and he even took a college course. Sid was trying to round out his life and found out that his game didn't suffer because he was enjoying life."

I'm not sure where she's going with her recounting so I stay quiet and let her continue uninterrupted.

"When Sid met you, my parents were both surprised and thrilled. He never had a real girlfriend during the season before. Sure, he was dating during the season but the relationship was usually on the back burner and he wouldn't see the girl for weeks or months at a time. He wasn't mean about it and made sure that every girl knew that hockey always came first during the season. Anyway, when he started seeing you and it was a real relationship, it surprised us. My parents really liked you too."

She takes a few bites of her food before continuing. I notice that she says 'liked' in the past tense when referring to her parents liking me.

"When you left, it was like those years of personal growth never happened. Sid closed up again and focused on hockey to the exclusion of everything else. Sure, he still went to California at the end of the season for vacation with some friends, but even they knew that Sid was different and it was worse than before his concussions. He was much more intense and focused and never lighthearted again. There was no interest or excitement for anything. Even in a crowd, Sid was emotionally withdrawn and would only engage if some talked directly to him. It was more than just being sad. I never understood the phrase 'shell of a man' until I've observed Sid over the past two years and it was worse than any other time of his life. Even at the beginning of his career, when he was uber focused on hockey, he could still be a goofball and have fun. I haven't seen my brother, who he truly is, in more than two years."

I don't know what to say" I begin but Taylor interrupts me.

"You did that to him" she says. "Now, after two years and nearly destroying him, you come back to what? When are you leaving again? It nearly killed him the last time."

Now I'm stunned. She says the words low and with a vitriol I've never heard before. If she had a weapon in her hand then I suspect I'd be dead.

"I, um, I won't be leaving again Taylor. I love him."

"So you didn't love him last time you left?"

"No, I mean, yes I did."

"But you still left him. Why should I believe that you'll treat him any better this time? I mean, for fuck sake Anna, you went from my brother directly to Matt and then back again. You didn't even miss a beat between them either time. I'd have to be blind not to see how anxious my brother is about you. He's probably waiting for you to leave him again. You should just leave now so that he doesn't get too attached this time. I don't know if he could come back from that pain again. Do you really understand how much you hurt him? Damaged him? He still hasn't fully recovered!"

Is this the real reason that Sidney is so worried about me being able to do my job well? Does he think that I'll leave if I fail? Is this worse than I think? I worried that Sid couldn't love the 'me' that I am today because he doesn't know me; but, do I even know who he is right now?

"Anna?"

I look up when Taylor says my name. She looks concerned.

"Look, Anna, I'm sorry if I'm being too direct or even hurtful. It isn't my intention to hurt you but I think someone needs to tell you what Sid went through. I love my brother and I won't let him be hurt again like he was before. He deserves better. He's a good guy, even better than most people know, and he would do anything to have you back. You need to make sure that you're really back to stay. He's talking about marriage and kids; a life with you. Not right now but that's what he sees in the future for the two of you. If you don't feel the same, if you don't want a life with him, or you think there is a remote chance that you are going to leave then do it now. We can pick up the pieces. But it will kill him if he gets his hopes up again and you leave."

Oh my god! I've been blaming Sid for our arguments about my job. Is it possible that the fault lies with me? Could I be blaming Sid for something that I caused? Suddenly I feel very nauseous.

"Excuse me" I say and quickly look for the bathroom.

I make it just in time to lose what little of my lunch that I've eaten. The whole thing makes me sick. Matt and Adam's words come back to me, almost taunting me, like they're saying 'I told you so' over and over.

At the bathroom sink, I wet a paper towel and wipe my mouth. I repeat the action with a new piece and dab at my forehead and brow. Looking into the mirror tells me that I look as bad as I feel. Shit, I should have grabbed my purse. I do the best I can to wipe smudges from under my eyes and pinch my cheeks to get some colour. Hmm, I guess all those 'tricks' my mother taught me do work.

I smooth down my shirt and skirt, take a deep breath and then go back to the table.

"Are you ok?" Taylor asks me.

"I'll be fine" I tell her and take a sip of my ice tea.

The waiter comes to the table so I ask for the bill. Taylor has finished her lunch and there is no way that I can eat any more.

"I'm sorry to cut our lunch short" I tell her. "I need to get back to the office unfortunately."

At least that isn't a complete lie. Getting back to the office will accomplish my real goal; getting away from Taylor right now. I have so much to think about and it isn't going to happen around Sid's pissed off sister.

"Oh, ok" Taylor says.

She doesn't believe me and she knows that I know but we're both going to let it go. There's been entirely enough honesty at this lunch and there is nothing more to be achieved.

After paying our bill, we take a cab back to Consol in silence. I think neither of us knows what to say or where to go from here. Maybe I should hate Taylor but I can't. She loves her brother and is looking out for him. Besides, she didn't say anything that was untrue. I did go directly from Sid to Matt and back to Sid again. I did break Sid's heart and then didn't even care enough to ask him about it. I'm as guilty, maybe even more, than Taylor made me out to be. She's right. Maybe I should leave. Maybe Sid would be better without me.

At Consol, we walk in together but, as soon as we enter ice level, I'm greeted by two of my interns who have questions. I don't know that I've ever been so grateful for a diversion.

"Sorry Taylor, I have to go. I'll see you later" I tell her, managing to sound normal to those around me.

"Ok" is all she says.

Taylor clearly looks like something is wrong. She's not nearly as skilled or practiced as I am at hiding my emotions or acting the part. Naively I thought that I wouldn't need to 'act' anymore in my personal life and could simply be myself. I guess not as much as I thought has changed.

Sidney

Something's wrong. Taylor has been acting weird since she and Anna had lunch together. I didn't seen Anna because she went directly into a meeting when they got back and I won't see her until this evening. Taylor and I are going to dinner with some of my friends and their wives then we'll be going to a bar where Anna will meet us. Hopefully she'll tell me what happened because I'm getting nowhere asking Taylor. Currently, we're driving in silence to the restaurant and it's driving me crazy.

"Ok, enough Tay. What the fuck is going on?"

She sighs and looks out her window. As I'm debating pulling over to the side of the road, Taylor finally talks.

"Sid, I don't want to talk about it. Anna and I got to know each other better and I think we were open and honest too. That's not always an easy thing of course so we argued. Before you jump all over me, don't."

"What the fuck does that mean?" I ask her.

"It means that we got to know each other better and had an argument. It happens and it's not up to you to fix it, ok?"

What the hell does she mean? If it's not up to me, then who is it up to? I can see that I'm getting nowhere with her and, when Taylor has made a decision, she isn't going to change her mind.

"Fine" I tell her. "For now."

Hopefully I can get the answer from Anna when we see her later. If not, hell, I don't know what I'll do if not.

Dinner is a lot of fun as usually. Carol-Lyn and Vero are particularly happy to see Taylor because it's been months since they've seen her. The families get to know each other when you play together for years, even if they aren't located in Pittsburgh like Taylor, so it's like a family reunion when we get back together.

To my surprise, everyone goes to the club after dinner. I sent Anna the location and expected her to say she was too busy to come. She really is busy today and, given Taylor's mood after lunch, I expect that Anna may not want to see her again today. I'm surprised again when Anna texts that she would meet us at the club. Maybe I'm just overreacting to Taylor's mood.

Any delusions that we could slip into the club unnoticed goes out of my head when we're recognized entering. Quickly, phones begin taking pictures and people are shouting out our names. We are quickly escorted to a special area where we can be together and away from others. There are servers waiting for us and taking our orders quickly.

"Put everything on one bill and give it to me when I leave, ok?" I tell the server who takes my order.

"Sure Sid" she says.

I look around and see my friends with their wives, even Duper and Carol-Lyn came out to see Taylor, and I feel lucky. The only thing that would make me happier is if Anna was here. As if she knew I was thinking of her, my phone vibrates with a text.

'I'm sorry but I can't come. Too much to catch up on'

Just a few hours ago she said that she could come and now she's changed her mind. This doesn't make sense and I begin to worry.

'Not even for one drink?'

'Sorry, no, going to hotel, eat, then work'

'Ok, take care'

'Will do'

"Problem?" Duper asks and sits beside me.

"Anna's not coming" I tell him.

"Work?"

"Yeah, that's what she said."

"But you doubt it?" he asks.

"Anna and Tay had lunch today. Something happened but I don't know what it was and neither of them is telling me."

"Oh."

"That's all you've got for me Dupe? Oh?"

"What do you think happened?"

"I have no idea" I tell him. "Tay said that they were honest with each other and there was some kind of conflict. Other than that, I know nothing. Dinner was great last night. They got drunk together, were laughing and chirping me, it was great."

"Look kid, we're all having fun catching up with Taylor and, clearly, she's having fun too" he points to Taylor coming back to our area with the girls, laughing hysterically. "Why don't we drive her home, it's on our way, and you can go find out what's up with Anna?"

Part of me feels like I'm abandoning Taylor but Duper is right. Tonight was for her to catch up with friends, not me, and my relationship with Anna is still fragile. My decision is easily made.

"Good idea" I tell Duper and stand to talk to Taylor. I pull her to the side and say "Tay, do you mind if I head out? Anna has a lot of work to catch up on still and I'd really like to stop by and just say hi to her. Duper and Carole-Lyn will take you home. Ok?"

Taylor gives me a weird, half smile and says "yeah, it's fine. Go."

I kiss her cheek and then say goodbye to everyone. Duper wishes me good luck and then I'm on my way to Anna's hotel. I don't text her until I'm in the lobby so she can't tell me not to come. Her southern manners will stop her from turning me away if I'm already here. Unfortunately I can't go to her door because she's on a secure floor.

'I'm here, can you let me up?' I text.

I only have to wait a few seconds before she replies.

'Here? The hotel here?'

'Yeah the hotel, in lobby, need you to let me up to the floor'

'Ok, meet me at the elevators'

'Ok'

As predicted, she didn't turn me away so I go to the bank of elevators and wait for her. The elevator 'bings' but it's not her. I have to wait for a few more before she comes out.

I'm surprised when I see her. Anna is in yoga pants and an oversized Penguin's sweatshirt. Her hair is in a ponytail, she's wearing no makeup and her eyes are red. She's clearly been crying.

"Hi" I say unsure what else I should say or do.

"Hi" she says and backs into the elevator to let me in.

We ride up in silence and I follow her, still in silence, to her room. Her computer is open on the desk and there are folders around it so she's clearly been working; but, her red rimmed eyes and the boxes of tissue beside her computer, beside the bed and on the coffee table tell me that she's been crying. I follow her to the seating area.

"Tell me what's going on" I say softly.

"I'm really sorry that I didn't make it tonight."

"That's not what I'm talking about. Clearly, something is wrong besides work and I'm asking you to tell me what's going on."

Her eyes fill up with tears and I immediately regret pushing her to talk to me. I move so that I'm sitting on the sofa next to her and pull her into my arms. I'm surprised when she climbs completely onto my lap and curls into me. Fear begins to stir in my stomach.

"Baby, are you ok?"

Anna sniffs and her hand clutches my shirt while I slowly rub her back trying to sooth.

"I don't know" she almost whispers.

"Talk to me" I plead.

She softly cries into my chest and I continue to stroke her back slowly. This continues for a few minutes so I simply hold her and wait until she's cried out. We aren't going to be able to talk until she's ready. My mind whirls, wondering what the fuck happened at lunch that this strong and confident woman has become the girl of two years ago. Since I saw her at the elevator, every part of her body screams that she's timid, scared and insecure again.

Anna's tears slow and she pulls back to reach for the tissue on the coffee table. She moves away from me, to the other end of the sofa, and wipes her tears and nose.

"Better?" I ask.

Anna nods and gives me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Anna, talk to me."

"Ok" she says. "What happened when I left?"

"What do you mean?" I'm confused.

"When I left, two years ago, what happened to you? How did you react? Did it change you? I know you played incredibly and won the Cup but what else?"

"I don't know what you mean. Sully came in as our new coach and we had some of the young WBS guys come up. Everyone started playing better when that happened and our game changed. Is that what you mean?"

"No Sidney. I mean you specifically. How did our break up affect you?"

"I was upset, of course."

I'm really uneasy about what she's talking about and where this is leading.

"So you focused on hockey?" she asks.

"Yeah, I guess, I focused on the game. I still had a job to do so I did it."

"Did you date?"

"Huh?"

"Did you date?" she repeats.

"No, I mean there were a few girls but no one important or that I would consider a relationship. What are you getting at Anna? Why all of these questions?"

"Taylor shared with me what happened to you after your concussions."

Now I'm really fucking confused. What does my concussion have to do with the break up?

"Why?" I ask.

"She was sharing with me what happened, how it affected you and the result. Taylor said that the experiences made you want more in your life and you opened up to experiences outside of hockey. You were no less dedicated but you looked to expand your life in addition to the game. Is that accurate?"

"Yeah, I don't know that I thought of it that way but I guess that is what happened. When hockey was gone during my injury, and for a lot of that time I couldn't even work out, I had nothing else. My family was there of course but it made me evaluate my life and it was sad. I'm always one major injury away from losing my life because the sum of it is hockey. So I changed it."

"And I was part of that change?"

"Not immediately after but yeah. Before the concussion, I would have never had a relationship like ours during the season."

"After the break up, I bet you wished that you'd never changed."

"I guess but that was then. I've put it behind me Anna. We're back together now and that was a long time ago."

"Have you put it behind you?"

"I just said that I did" I tell her a little more forcefully. I just told her that it is behind me.

"I disagree" she replies.

"Ok, why?"

"Sidney, have you considered why you are so concerned about me doing well at my job."

"I feel like this entire conversation has been a series of left turns and I can't see the map. I have no idea what you're asking me."

"Then we'll make one more left turn so that we can come full circle. Let's start at the concussion. You learned that there is more to life than hockey and adding other things, or people, to your life won't make you less of a hockey player. Then we met and, as you just said, your life expanded during hockey season when it had never happened before."

"Right" I tell her. "But I'm still lost."

"It all fell apart Sidney. You took a chance on a relationship with me and it all fell apart."

Feeling extremely frustrated, I stand and then walk across the room. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I turn back to Anna. She looks so small in the huge hoody, sitting cross legged on the sofa.

"I was there Anna. I know that it fell the fuck apart!"

"Well, it could again!" she shouts back.

Is that what this is about?

"Don't you think I know that Anna? You came back, we talked, everything was great and, guess what happened, you left! Ok, you didn't leave the state or the Pens, but you moved out. You said that you'd never leave again and you did."

She smiles, a sad smile, and purses her lips for a moment.

"Taylor was right" she says softly, almost to herself.

"What do you mean 'Taylor was right'?"

Anna looks up and sighs.

"I'm going to keep hurting you. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing so I'm going to keep hurting you over and over. She's right; I should just leave for good."

Something doesn't make sense. Taylor wouldn't tell Anna to leave me. There is no way that my sister would hurt me like that, on purpose too, by telling Anna to go.

"I don't believe it" I tell Anna. "Taylor wouldn't just tell you to leave me."

"She didn't say it like that" Anna replies. "But, she said that she doesn't want to see you hurt and, if I'm going to leave sooner than later, then I should leave sooner."

"You're planning on leaving?"

"No, not planning, but god Sidney, look at my track record. I lied to you, over and over again. I was engaged to another man and go from his bed one day to yours the next. You know what they call girls like that, right? When I do come back, I don't even consider your feelings or what you went through. All I focused on was talking out why I didn't tell you about the abortion and then getting you to forgive me. Like that was going to fix everything magically. No wonder you're so freaked out about my leaving."

"Are you done?" I ask sarcastically.

"Um, yeah."

"First, don't ever talk about yourself like that, ever. Neither of us was perfect in this relationship. Ok?"

"Alright" she agrees.

"Good. Second, I'm not freaked out about you leaving, or however you put it. I mean, I want to you stay but I'm not, shit, you know what I'm saying."

"So why do you think that I can't handle this job with the Pens? Two years ago, you were impressed by my skills and even seemed proud of me. Why did that change? Don't say it's a harder job because, you know if you're honest, that it isn't too hard a job for me. Could you be concerned that, if I don't do well, then I'll leave?"

Is she right? Is that why I've worried about her and how she's doing at work? Do I worry about her leaving me if she fails?

"You know I'm right Sidney."

Is she right?

"Anna" I begin but don't know what to say next.

"I'm right Sidney."

"Anna, I don't know if you're right or wrong. I do know that if you leave me again it might just kill me this time, that part I'm sure of right now. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That's not a proposal, we're not ready for that, but I want to understand how much I love you. And don't start with the 'I don't know you so how could I love you' shit. I know you."

"Yeah, I guess you do. It wasn't that you thought I was unable to do the job. You just didn't want me open to something that could make me leave like doing poorly at this job. You do know me. But, this whole thing is making me wonder if I really know you." I'm about to interrupt her but she puts up her hand and continues. "Until I spoke with Taylor, there was so much about you that I didn't know and I didn't ask. I haven't been fair to you and, on top of it all, I've made it seem like it's your fault."

She starts to cry again. I'm at her side on the sofa in an instant.

"There's no one to blame here Anna. We're both really bad at this apparently. If we put everything else aside, all of the reasons for why we each did those things, then you were right. When you moved out of my place, you said that we need to get to know each other better and you're right. Wow, I actually agree with what you moving out. We need to go back and do all the steps that we skipped. We've both changed and need to explore what that means. I know that it doesn't mean we can't love each other, because we do, but we have to build our relationship. We can't simply slide back into what was, because things are different, but we can be together while we figure things out."

She's stopped crying and wipes her eyes.

"I'm confused" she whispers and looks down at her fingers.

"For the first time all day, I'm not" I admit.

She looks up and smiles, this time it reaches her eyes. I smile back.

"At least one of us is clear" she says. "So what do we do now?"

"In the larger sense, we keep going with your plan and date. I still have that big one to plan for our day off."

"Ok."

"For right now, we go to bed. No more work for you. I'm going to call my sister and tell her that I'm staying here tonight, no arguing" I tell her before she can open her mouth. "Ok?"

"Ok" is all she says, again.

For right now, that's all I really need.


	46. Chapter 46

Sidney

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I yell at Taylor.

It's 8am and I've just arrived home after spending the night in Anna's hotel room. The entire trip home, I kept telling myself over and over to talk with Taylor, ask her questions, and try to understand. As soon as I saw her, all sane thoughts flew out of my mind and I become right and truly pissed.

"Good morning to you too" she replies.

"Taylor, I'm not in the mood for sarcasm. It's not like you to hurt someone else like that and certainly not the woman I love; so, what the fuck were you thinking?"

She pours a glass of orange juice, hands it to me and then repeats the action for herself. After replacing the carton of juice in the fridge, she walks to the kitchen table and sits down.

She frowns into her juice and says "I wasn't trying to hurt her Sid but there were things that needed to be said."

"Ok, if that wasn't your intention then what was Tay? What did you think needed to be said?"

"Sid, you scared the shit out of us" she says quietly, still looking at her juice. "You were Sidney Crosby, the hockey star, but you weren't our Sid. For two years, you were here but not here, yourself but not quite yourself. For two years Sid, I lost my brother, two fucking years because she left you. I wasn't going to let that happen again so I did what I thought was necessary prevent it."

Oh. I never realized how my break up with Anna affected the people around me. I guess I thought that since I was playing well, we won the Cup for fucks sake, then nothing was wrong. Apparently I was wrong.

"I didn't know Tay."

"It's fine now. I've said my peace to her."

"No, it's really not fine. I'm sorry."

She looks up at me and her eyes are still angry.

"We were so worried about you and then mom called me a couple of weeks ago and said that Anna was back and you sounded like your old self. She was so excited and happy. I couldn't believe how easily she accepted that everything was ok again and I knew that I had to do something. Of course I didn't say anything to mom; but, I couldn't let this happen again Sid and it was up to me to do something. You seem to have a blind spot for this girl and are willing to do anything for her."

This is a Taylor that I've never seen before, angry, almost bitter. She usually only gets this pissed off about something that happens in a game and she's usually right in those situations. I need to find out more.

"Anna said that you talked about my concussion, why?"

"I wanted her to understand what happened to you after the concussion and when she left so that she would either leave now before you're too attached again or never leave again. Even you have to admit that she jumps quickly and seemingly without thinking long about it. From you to him, then him to you, and I worried that she might leave again. It's simpler if she does it now."

"You're right that things have happened quickly; but, it's not just Anna. We jumped back into this relationship too fast, together, and without considering the affect that everything had on us. That's actually the reason that Anna moved out of my house and into the hotel. We're going to take it slower this time. I know that it's a crazy idea but we're thinking of dating" I say to try and make her laugh.

"This is hardly a joke Sid. Don't you realize what you've been like these past two years? How much pain you've been in? How it's affected you?"

"You're overreacting Tay."

"No, I'm really not. Mom, dad and I had no idea how to help you so we did the same thing we did during your concussion and didn't discuss it. It was killing them Sid. Mom and dad were so worried about you for almost two years."

"I don't know what you're talking about Taylor. I know that I've been different and the break up really affected me; but, I'm still me. Have you been talking to Duper or Flower?"

"No, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Never mind, look, Tay, I get that I've been different. The breakup with Anna was hard, really hard, maybe harder than I even realized; but, it's ok now. Anna and I are back together and we're working through everything. It won't be easy, or even quick, but we're getting there. Tay, honestly, everything will be ok but you have to stop what you're doing. This isn't like you, to hurt someone else, and you really did hurt Anna."

She frowns now.

"Sid, it wasn't my goal to hurt her but I guess it was inevitable for Anna to realize how her actions and irresponsible decisions affect others."

"What did you think would happen when you talked to her?"

"Regardless of what else she is, Anna is smart and I hoped she would make the right decision to leave."

"I know that you were trying to help but you need to stop. This isn't helping. Anna was really upset last night."

"Sid, I don't doubt that she was affected but I doubt she was as upset as you think. I could tell that our conversation bothered her but she was hardly upset enough to need you to stay over last night to console her. It wasn't like I yelled and screamed at her or called her names. I simply told her what was going on. I was honest."

"You don't know her Taylor and you shouldn't make assumptions. Your conversation hurt her, deeply, and made her doubt everything including herself. Anna wasn't raised like you and I were. There was media attention on me from a young age and I was often giving interviews in front of the camera. Anna was 'always' in front of the camera and scrutinized by everyone around her; especially her mother. Tay, her mother was a nightmare to grow up with and it didn't stop when Anna came to Pittsburgh. From birth, she was told how to behave and how to act. Her mother critiqued her every move and action. Anna learned quickly how to cover up her emotions and show only what she wanted others to see about her. It took me some time but I learning how to see beneath the surface. What you see as professional or calm is actually a veneer. She's extremely sensitive Tay."

I hope that Anna won't be upset that I shared this much with Taylor. It seems crucial information for Taylor to have if she's going to form a relationship with Anna and see her for who she is.

"Sid, I understand what you're saying but it doesn't change what she's done or how she's done it."

"This isn't like you Tay."

"You don't understand how difficult the last two years have been."

"Clearly I don't and I'm sorry for that" I tell her.

"I don't want your apology Sid. You need to understand finally because you've had your head in the sand ignoring everything around you except for hockey."

Suddenly, I realize what she's telling me: I've been ignoring Taylor for two years. That's what is underneath her concern and anger. Taylor is afraid that she'll become an outsider to my life again and just when we're growing closer. The reason that I can't remember when Taylor last visited me is because it was before I met Anna. We used to do these kinds of visits whenever we could manage it and looked for opportunities to be together during season. I can't remember the last time we did that, before this week of course.

"You may not want an apology but I am sorry Tay. I had no idea."

Taylor sighs and replies "ok."

I walk to her and pull her up, forcing her to look at me.

"I really am Tay" I tell her.

Her eyes get wet and I pull her in for a hug. She wraps her arms tightly around me and sniffles into my chest. Great, I have two sniffling women in my life in as many days. Instinctively, I know that she isn't going to overcome her anger in a three day visit but, hopefully, this can be a beginning.

"Are you still going to come to practice before your flight?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I could do with a workout."

"Let me get changed and then we can go."

"Ok, I have to pack too."

We go upstairs and then part to get ready. I pull out my phone.

'Are you up?' I text Anna.

'For a while' she sends back.

'How are you?'

'I'm ok, at the office, how are you?'

'I'm good, talked with Taylor'

'Oh' she sends back.

'Yeah, I'll fill you in later, she's coming to practice'

'Ok, I'll see you later, love you'

I smile at her last words.

'Love you too' I respond.

I find myself humming as I change my clothes.

Anna

So Sid and Taylor talked. I wish I could have heard that conversation. Sid was pretty pissed off at Taylor although it isn't entirely her fault. Taylor said things that needed saying and definitely things that I needed to know and hear. Sidney was so sweet holding me throughout the night and making me feel safe and loved. This is why I love him. He is kind and sweet and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. It reminds me why I love him so much and why I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

Last night was a kind of breakthrough for me. When I came back to Pittsburgh, I thought that I was all grown up and could have a real, adult relationship with Sidney. I proved just how immature I was, or maybe still am, that I was still so self-centred and blamed Sid for everything that was still wrong between us. Even though Matt and Adam warned me, it wasn't until I heard Taylor's perspective that I really understood.

Sidney is fundamentally the same person. He is kind, loving, and smart. He can also be confident, forceful and arrogant as hell, especially when it comes to anything related to hockey. Underneath everything, he is a good man and one that I know I want to continue getting to know and fall deeper in love with every day.

"What's that smile about?"

I look up and see Adam with two cups of Starbucks.

"Now it's about that coffee I'm praying is for me" I tell him.

"It is" he replies and comes into my office. After sitting down, and handing me my cup, he says "how are you today? I didn't get a chance to talk to you alone but clearly something was wrong yesterday."

"Yeah, it was, um, an interesting day. Everything is ok now, I think."

"If you're sure" he says and stares at me.

"I'm sure" I confirm. He's been such a good friend that I should give him an update. "You were right Adam. I needed to find out more about Sid and what happened while we were apart. It's helped, a lot, and I think we're closer because of it."

"That's awesome Anna" he says and then looks at his watch. "Shit, I have to go, but we must talk later. I met a guy last night."

"You don't just say that and leave" I complain.

"You'll just have to wait."

"Lunch, my office, at 1pm."

"Ok."

He waves and leaves my office.

An email notice pops up and grabs my attention when I see that it's from Rob Rossi with the subject line 'Article to be published today'. Shit. I open the email and read:

'Anna, thank you again for spending the day with me and giving me the interview. I wanted to let you know that the story will be published on the website at noon today. It will be behind the pay wall but you will be able to access it with the Pens' user information. Cheers, Rob.'

It freaks me out that he didn't attach a copy of the story for me to read before it's posted. While it isn't a rule, common practice is for the reporters to send us a copy of an article that they write a few hours, if not a full day, before it's published. This article is going to be as bad as I feared if he's not giving us a preview. The agreement for the interview was that he wouldn't write about the altercation with Sid; but, I went in knowing that I was fair game. Hmm, he was going to write about me anyway in the original article. At least this way I was able to control what I said about Sid and keep him out of it as much as possible. I have no choice now so I call up Travis, the Pens' COO.

"Hi Anna" he says when he answers the phone.

"Hi Travis, I need to speak with you" I tell him but don't say more since he's answered on speaker phone.

"Come over" he says and hangs up.

I stop by the intern's bullpen on the way and find Adam.

"Adam, I won't be at the media scrum or lunch today. Come find me afterward" I tell him.

He nods but doesn't say anything because he knows my 'all business' tone. At least the scrum will be over before the article is posted so no one can get questions about it.

I walk quickly to Travis office. When he sees me, he gestures me in and I do so while shutting the door. We sit at his table and chairs rather than the desk as he usually likes to do.

"What's going on Anna?"

"I received an email from Rossi telling me that his article will be posted at noon today" I tell him.

"How bad is it?" he asks me.

"I don't know. He didn't send it."

"What do you mean that he didn't send it to you?"

"It wasn't attached to the email Travis. It's going to be bad."

"Yeah, all signs seem to point that way, don't they?" Travis says.

"I could try some contacts to get an early copy but I think the risk of that becoming public is too great to get a couple of hours jump on reading the story."

"I agree."

"As soon as it's posted, I'll email you a copy" I tell him.

"I'll put legal on notice that it's coming just in case we need them."

"I'm sorry about all of this trouble Travis. I wish that I could fix it."

"It's not your fault" he begins and puts his hand up when I try to interrupt. "They will always find something to write, reporters like Rossi, even if they need to bend the truth. None of this is your fault and we'll deal with it if there's something to handle. Ok?"

I smile and respond "ok and thank you."

As I walk back to my office, I call Sid.

"Hi babe" he answers.

"Hi yourself" I try for a light tone that I'm sure Sid will see through right away. "Are you here? Can you come to my office for a few minutes?"

"I was just grabbing some breakfast. I'll be up in a few."

"Can you bring me some fruit too?"

"Sure babe."

We disconnect as Adam walks up alongside me.

"Everything ok?" he asks.

"Rossi" is all I say.

"When?"

"Noon."

"Ok, I'll come by after the scrum."

"Thanks Adam."

I have a few minutes to look through the rest of my email before Sid comes in. He shuts the door and sits at my meeting table with his breakfast and a mountain of fresh cut fruit for me.

"I was looking for a snack and you've brought me an entire fruit market" I say and chuckle.

"You wanted fruit" he says and shrugs. "What's up?"

"I tell you this trusting that you'll keep your cool, ok? I really want to follow through on everything we've talked about the past couple of days so I'm going to trust you" he frowns but nods. "I received an email from Rossi that his article will be posted at noon today. He didn't give me a copy, as most reporters do, which tells me that it's bad. I wanted you to know so that you're not blindsided. It probably won't come up at the scrum but I thought you'd want to know. Next time, if there is an unfortunate next time, that you punch out Rossi, do it without witnesses, ok?"

It takes a few moments but he gives me a small smile.

"I can do that" he says.

"Good" I smile back.

We both dig into our food.

"It's going to be bad?" he asks me.

"It's an assumption, although an education one, since he didn't send me a copy before publishing. He either wants me to sweat it out, the waiting, or he wants me to be blindsided when it is published."

"Fucker" Sid says. "I really want to kill him."

"And I want you to as well; but, we both know that will accomplish nothing."

"Yeah, I know, but it would be satisfying" he says. "Thank you for trusting me not to kill him."

"I do Sidney" I put my hand over his. "I trust you completely."

Sid leans over and lightly touches my lips with his own. When he pulls back, I know that I'm smiling widely.

"What time should I be ready tomorrow?" I ask Sid both wanting to change the subject and to know more about our date tomorrow.

"I'll pick you up at 8am" he says.

"8am? Isn't that a little early for you?"

"Usually it would be but I have plans, grand plans."

"Grand plans huh? Ok, 8am it is. I need to know what we're doing so I know how to dress" I tell him.

"No way" he shakes his head and smiles. "Wear jeans in the morning and pack a bag so you can stay overnight."

"Hmm, that's intriguing."

"Oh, you should probably bring something dressy for dinner since we're going out."

"Ah, the plot thickens" I grin. "So, jeans in the morning, an overnight bag and something dressy for dinner, right?"

"Yep."

"Should I bring something, um, extra special in that overnight bag?" I ask.

Sid frowns and I can tell that he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. The moment he gets it shows in the bright smile that quickly fills his face.

"Oh, yeah, good idea babe" he tells me and looks at his watch. "Shit, I need to go. I'll stop by before I drive Taylor to the plane."

Oh, right, Taylor is leaving.

"Bring her by too if you don't mind. I'd like to say goodbye."

Sid looks surprised but says "sure I can."

He stands, gives me a quick kiss and then leaves. I sigh when I see that he's left me the dirty dishes.

The next three hours are tedious and long as I try to focus on work but my mind strays to the clock wishing it would desperately become noon. With ten minutes left, I give up trying to concentrate and bring up the newspaper's website. I play the 'refresh and wait' game for the next five minutes.

"Not yet" Adam says as he walks in the door. "Closed?"

Adam points to the door as he asks me.

"Good idea" I tell him.

I pick up my laptop and meet Adam at the seating area. We might as well be comfortable while reading the article. Adam opens his iPad.

"Not yet damnit" Adam says as he scrolls through his iPad. "It's noon! On top of writing crap, they can't read a damn clock either."

I refresh my screen and there it is.

"It's up" I tell him.

The headline reads 'The most powerful Penguin isn't who you think.' So that's the approach he's going to take for the article. This should be entertaining. It begins:

'If you think that the 'best player in the world' Crosby is the most powerful Penguin, or the franchise player Malkin, or even the Penguin's player/owner/saviour Mario, then you'd be very wrong. The most powerful Penguin, both two years ago and now, is Anna Stanton. The Governor/would-be-President's daughter interned with the Pens two years ago and molded Malkin into a true spokesperson and community leader and wrapped Crosby around her very skilled little finger. For the next two years, she built a prominent political career and made the new Governor who he is, in office for the next four years and maybe more. Now, she's back in Pittsburgh with the Penguins and not only has Crosby wrapped up again but is now in charge of all PR and media for the organization. My how the intern has grown or is it more accurate to say schemed.'

The rest of the article expands on this theme. I am the power hungry, opportunist who devours men to get what she wants. He doesn't go so far as to blatantly say that I use sex to get what I want, but he does chronical the dates of my relationships with Sid and Matt, clearly demonstrating that there was very little time between each. Sidney is going to go positively apoplectic.

"Ok" Adam says as he sits back in his chair and sighs. "Sid is going to kill him."

"I gave Sid a heads up just in case and … oh shit!"

I quickly pick up my phone and call Matt. His assistant answers it.

"Hi Anna, Matt is in a meeting right now. He'll be out in an hour and I can have him call you back."

"I hate to be annoying, but I really need to talk to him right now. It's urgent and is hitting the media as we speak."

"Oh, ok, one moment."

I wait while, I assume, she takes the phone to Matt.

"Is everything ok Annabelle?" Matt says sounding concerned.

"I'm ok but something has just hit the press and I'm so sorry that I didn't think to give you the heads up about it."

I proceed to tell him about how the interview came about and give him an overview of the article.

"That ass! I could kill him" Matt yells.

"Matt, Sid already hit him and that's how we got into this mess" I tell him.

Suddenly the men in my life all want to beat up a reporter for me. Thankfully, Matt chuckles at my comment.

My door flies open without a knock and a very angry Sidney is now standing in my office and, oh goody, Taylor is with him. At least he came to me rather than looking for Rossi.

"I need to go" I tell Matt. "I'll talk to you later." I disconnect the phone and turn to Adam. "Please tell the team we'll have a meeting at 2pm. Until them, no one talks to anyone about this including amongst themselves, ok?

"Will do Anna" he tells me and quickly leaves my office, shutting the door.

I take a deep breath and contemplate how to handle Sid. Shit, I need to send the article to Travis too.

"Sid, please give me thirty seconds, ok? Please."

He purses his lips and then says "ok."

I gesture for he and Taylor to take a seat while I take my computer back to my desk and then forward the email and call Travis.

"Anna?"

"Hi Travis, I just forwarded the article to you. We'll talk to legal but, on initial glance, there is nothing he says that can be proven completely false. It's bad for the Pens but I take most of the hits personally. Can you give me ten minutes and then I'll come to your office?"

"Sure" he says and disconnects the call.

I rub my brow and take a few deep breaths before returning to the sitting area with Taylor and Sid.

"I guess you read it" I say to Sid.

"Yeah, I read that piece of shit. We need to sue his ass for all the lies he's spreading" Sid replies with vitriol.

"I'm going to talk to Travis in a couple of minutes; but, I suspect legal will say that there is nothing that we do about it. The facts he states are actually true and the rest is innuendo and suggestion. My initial reaction is that we should do and say nothing about the article, Rossi or the paper."

"Do nothing!" Sid exclaims. "How can we do nothing?"

I reach out and take his hand in mine rubbing my thumb slowly over the top.

"Sid, think about it logically for a moment. When a reporter writes this kind of article then it only drags on longer if we argue or try to discredit it. We don't want this nonsense to drag through more news cycles. It's better to get it over with."

"I know you're right but it's not easy this time."

"Of course it's not and that's what Rossi is betting on Sid. He's trying to provoke you by making me the story and we can't let him succeed."

Sid sighs and grips my hand a little tighter. "Ok, what do I say when I'm asked?"

"Right now, you don't have a comment. We might want to leave it as simply as that from a player perspective. I won't be completely sure of our direction until I talk to Travis and my team" I tell him. "It was pretty horrible, the article, I'm sorry that you're in this mess."

"Don't apologize, please babe. The article was written because I was an idiot. I'm the one who's sorry."

"Let's agree that we both had a part in this and move on, ok?" I ask.

Sid smiles and nods so I move closer to kiss him. Before our kiss gets out of hand, I remember that Taylor is in the room and pull back from Sid.

To Taylor I say "I'm glad you came to visit Taylor. I hope that you'll be back soon."

"I'll be back for some of the Christmas break" she replies coolly.

"Good, I'll see you then."

I guess polite words are a good first step after our disagreement. I kiss Sid softly.

"I have a very busy day now. I'll talk to you later, ok?" I say.

"Yeah, let me know how the meetings go. Please, don't wait until the end of the day."

"Will do" I tell him.

The Crosby siblings and I part at my door and I make my way to Travis' office where both he and the legal team are waiting.

Sidney

"She's really good at her job isn't she" Taylor says as I drive her to the airport.

"Yeah, she is" I reply.

Anna and Taylor weren't exactly best friends giving each other warm hugs as they said goodbye; but, they were sort of friendly and hopefully that's something to build on when we're all together next.

"Why do you think the job is too much for her?" Taylor asks. "If that article was about me then I would be hiding in my bed eating chocolate cookie dough ice cream for months. She is already action planning and going on with her day."

I think back to my conversation with Anna and realize that she's right. It's not that I don't think Anna is capable, although I convinced myself of that for a while, it's because I want her to be successful so she'll stay.

"It's complicated Tay. Let's just say that I know she's really good at her job and, especially if she can handle this Rossi shit, she can handle anything."

"Did you call mom and dad?" she asks.

"Shit, no I didn't."

Using the hands free phone, I call the house and my mom picks up quickly.

"Sidney, how was your visit with Taylor?" mom asks as she answers.

"She's just leaving now. In fact, she's in the car with me right now and you're on speaker."

That's all mom needs to ask Taylor a million questions about the visit etc.

"Mom" I interrupt. "I called you for a specific reason. Is dad there?"

"I'm here" dad says.

We must be on speaker too.

"Good. Rossi wrote a shit piece about Anna and it's bad, really bad. Legal is looking at it but it's probably nothing that can be brought to court. He uses innuendo and is very leading but doesn't go all the way and call her a whore, for example."

"Oh that poor girl" mom says.

"Mario should sue his ass" from dad.

"All of that is being looked into and Pat is aware" I say referring to my agent.

I'm glad I thought to call him after I met with Anna for breakfast. It wasn't the preferred way to wake up on the west coast but he was glad I let him know.

"Is there anything that we can do?" mom asks.

"Just the usual" I tell her.

"No comment" dad says.

"Yep and know that it's not true" I tell them.

"Of course not dear" mom says. "I'm so glad that we're visiting next week."

Shit, I forgot about their visit.

"I'm looking forward to it. Can you send me the flight details?" I ask.

"Again?" dad teases me.

"Yes please" I reply.

They talk more with Taylor and I about our visit and dad asks questions about practicing with the team. Shortly, I arrive at the airport and we all say goodbye. I park and help Taylor with her hockey bag. After she's checked in, we hug.

"I'm going to miss you brat" I tell her.

"Me too" she replies. "Be carefully Sid, ok?"

I know what she's referring to and I'm not willing to go into it all over again.

Instead, I simply say "text me when you get home."

"Ok, bye."


	47. Chapter 47

Anna

Exhaustion doesn't begin to describe how I currently feel. I worked through the night to get everything done so that I can take the day off with Sidney today and there was a lot to do.

Yesterday, with my team and legal, we put together a plan on how to handle the fallout from the article. Then I coordinated with Matt's team on language and process for responding to press requests. Finally, I had to create a brief for legal outlining the facts and details that Rossi omitted from his article. They agree that there is nothing legally to be done but wanted the details should it become relevant. It's embarrassing to have my life's mistakes in black and white for all to read but I did it.

Once that work was done, I had to execute the plan and respond to all of the requests for interviews by other reporters. The press release from the Penguins organization was short and direct supporting me and my work with the team. With the day off today, we're going communications silent and will deal with the shit tomorrow. I've created the messaging that the interns will share with their players and I'll prepare the coaching staff tomorrow morning myself. Today will be uneventful if everyone stays away from the media. We've even asked the guys to stay off of their social media too.

Now, as I wait for Sid to pick me up, I stifle a yawn and hope that I can find a burst of energy to enjoy our day together. I was surprised when Sid told me to wait in my room and he would come to me.

As if he knew that I was thinking of him, there is a knock on my door. Sid is smiling widely when I open it.

"Hi" I say and smile back.

"Hi" Sid replies.

I move back to let him in and Sid kisses me quickly and thoroughly then moves into the room.

"I assume that you haven't had breakfast" Sid says.

"You assume correctly."

"Good, come here" he walks to the sofas and places a paper bag on the table. "I have coffee and breakfast. Ignore the carb laden food. There are no calories today."

"A calorie free day huh?"

"Yes."

"Ok then" I say and sit beside him.

He hands me a cup of coffee and then pulls the food out of the bag. The pastries look very calorie laden but I decide to ignore them as Sid suggested.

"Oh these are so good" I say as I bite into one. "Seriously delicious."

"I'm glad that you approve."

I curl up next to Sid and finish off my pastry. I almost sigh when he puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him.

"Mmm so good" I say.

That's the last thing that I remember until I wake up in my bed.

"Good morning" Sid says.

I look to the other side of the bed and he's sitting up against the headboard reading my iPad.

"I guess I fell asleep" I admit embarrassed.

"You did and within thirty seconds of my arrival. Should I take it personally?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry Sidney" I tell him horrified even though I know he's kidding. "I guess I wasn't able to find my second wind, huh?"

"Were you up all night?"

"Yeah, there was so much to do."

"You should have told me. We could have rescheduled" he tells me.

"No way! I'm looking forward to our day together. Well, I guess what's left of our day." I glance at the clock beside the bed and it's already noon. "Oh god, I'm so sorry Sid. The morning is shot."

"No, seriously, it's ok Anna. You need to be awake for our day together so I'd rather you sleep now rather than during. Besides, I've been reading. I hope you don't mind that I bought a book on your app."

I chuckle and stretch then crawl over to Sid. It seems I have a second and maybe even third wind. I wrap my arms around his neck after straddling him.

"I can make it up to you" I tell Sid and lean in to kiss him.

Sid kisses me back for a moment but then pulls away.

"If we start this then we'll never get out of here" he tells me with a smile.

"Ok."

I give him one last kiss and then get out of bed. Looking down, I see that my jeans are fine but my blouse is very wrinkled from my nap.

"I just need to change my top and then I'm ready to go" I tell Sid.

"Ok, I'd better wait in the other room."

I change quickly and then we're on our way. Sid still won't tell me where we're going no matter how much I beg. Unable to determine his plans, I sit back and decide to enjoy the adventure; but, I become even more curious when I see Consol in front of us. Sid pulls into the parking structure and stops the car in his spot.

"Let's go" he says to me and gets out of the car.

We walk hand in hand to the building and Sid uses his card to open the door.

"Now I'm really curious" I tell him.

Sid only smiles at me and leads me to the locker room. Equipment is hanging, drying from the previous day's practice, leaving the usual aroma hanging in the air. After all of these years, my nose still wrinkles at the disgusting stench.

"Over here" Sid leads me to the empty stall.

There are two sets of skates sitting in front of the empty stall. I recognize Sid's but not the other, smaller, skates.

"Have a seat" he says.

That's when it becomes clear to me: the other skates are for me and we're going on the ice. I sit in the stall and Sid kneels in front of me. I'm momentarily distracted by how the jeans stretch over his muscled thighs.

"Lift" he says and takes one of my feet.

I watch as Sid takes off both of my shoes then replaces them with skates. He expertly laces them up and then helps me stand.

"How do they feel?" he asks me.

I test them by taking a few steps.

"They feel good I guess" I tell him and sit down again.

"Good" he replies and then replaces his own shoes with skates.

"Sid? Everything good?" I hear from the doorway.

It's one of the security guards.

"Yeah, thanks Ed" Sid says. "I'll let you know when we leave."

"Okay."

The guard leaves and Sid finishes lacing up his skates. When he stands, he takes off his coat and puts on a Pen's warm up jacket. He helps me stand, take off my coat and put on a matching warm up jacket. A little thrill goes through me when I notice it has Sid's name and number on it.

"Come on" he says.

Sid takes my hand and leads me out of the locker room and down the hall to the ice. He steps on to the ice and then turns to me taking both of my hands.

"You said that you've never skated before so I thought we could start our day with a little skate" he tells me smiling.

Part of me is terrified and part of me is excited. I'm going to learn how to skate!

"You've done this before, right?" I tease.

"Skated?" he jokes back.

"Funny guy" I tell him. "It's not going to be a great start to the day if I fall and break my ass you know."

Sid chuckles.

"I'm very fond of that ass" he tells me. "I'm not going to let anything happen to it."

With each of my hands in his, he backs up a foot away from me and I step onto the ice.

"That's good" he says. "Bend your knees slightly and keep your hands in mine."

I bend my knees and Sid begins to skate backwards pulling me with him. We cross the ice, slowly, until we reach centre ice and Sid stops.

"Ok" he says. "With one foot, push to the side, slightly."

I've watched enough games that I know what he means and I try it. I manage to move myself forward and then too much to my left. Sid grabs me.

"That was good" he says chuckling and helping me stand upright. "This time, push a little more to the back than the side. You'll be propelled forward and less off balance."

I do it and slide forward about two feet while staying on both of mine.

"I did it!" I shout and look at Sid.

"Yep, you did" he tells me smiling widely. "Ok, let's try pushing off with one foot and then the other."

It takes me a while to get the hang of it without going off balance. I would have been on my ass a few times if Sid hadn't been holding me up.

"Stop here" he says. "Stay there and I'm going to go back a bit. Do it again without my help and skate to me."

Sid lets go of my hands and backs up a few feet. I bobble a bit but then balance. Oh boy, I hope there's a trainer on standby for when I fall. Sid seems to be confident in me so I use that confidence and push off, first with one foot and then the other. I over correct my first push and fall forward. Sid catches me

"Good try" he says.

I'm holding onto his biceps tight so that I don't fall and his hands are holding my waist.

"I almost landed on my face" I tell him laughing.

"Almost doesn't count. Let's try it again."

I chuckle again.

"Ok, let's try it again" I tell him.

He skates away, stops and then holds out his hands to me. I push off with one foot and then the other managing to glide directly to Sid this time.

"I did it!"

"You did it!"

We say it at the same time. I leap into Sid's arms and he twirls me around, fast, since we're on the ice. When he finally puts me down, I regain my footing but stay in his arms.

"This is fun" I tell him. "Why did you want to skate as part of our date?"

Sid shrugs.

"I spend most of my life on the ice but you've never even skated before. I thought you might want to experience this part of my life."

"It's a brilliant idea" I tell him. "I've thought about taking lessons but there never seems to be the time."

Sid smiles. " You don't need lessons when you have me. we'll need to practice more but, um, do you want to go around the rink?"

I smile back and nod. Sid turns so that we're side by side, he places one arm around me and holds my hand with the other. He pushes off and we start gliding together.

"Ok?" he asks.

"It's awesome. Faster!" I tell him.

He grins and picks up speed. We are at the other end of ice quickly and I know that I have a huge smile on my face. This is so much fun.

"Bend your knees slightly as we turn" he tells me.

I do as he says and we pick up speed coming out of the corner.

"Wow!" I cry out and hear Sid's laughter in return.

We go around the ice three times then Sid slows us down and turns so that he's holding both of my hands and skating backwards. He guides us around the ice one more time. I throw myself into his arms when he stops and he twirls us around again.

"This was so much fun" I tell him.

When he stops and puts me down, I cup his face.

"This was a wonderful idea" I say and kiss him. "I'm going to be an expert skater before you know it."

"Let's start small by trying to stay on your feet."

We both laugh and Sid moves a few feet away so that I can try my 'skating' again. I don't know how long my lesson continues but, by the end, I can skate to centre ice and back. Of course Sid has to catch me when I get to the centre because I haven't mastered stopping yet.

"Have you had enough?" Sid asks me some time later.

"I have to admit, I know that you guys work hard and you definitely make this look easy, but I never realized just how hard skating is."

"You're a natural."

"You're a good liar" I tell him chuckling. "Can I have a stick next time?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves babe. You want to do this again?"

He looks hopeful and unsure at the same time. It's adorable. I glide toward Sid and into his arms.

"I'd love to do this again" I tell him. "In fact, can we plan this every week?"

"Like 'date night'?"

"Yeah, like a date night. We can skate first."

"And then?" he asks and winks.

"And then, maybe dinner."

"And then?"

"We'll have to get creative after that I guess."

Sid chuckles and says "I can be very creative."

"I have no doubt."

Sid takes my hands and rubs them with his.

"I should have thought to get you gloves. Sorry baby."

"It's ok."

"Ready to get warm?" he asks.

"Wow, you are so corny. Yeah, let's go."

We get off the ice and walk back to the locker room hand in hand. This was a great way to start the day and I love that we've planned to do it again. This is exactly what we need to do more of together.

"Have a seat" Sid says and begins to undo the laces of my skates. "We'll have to double your socks next time. Your feet are so cold."

"They're ok" I tell him but he rubs his hands quickly over them. "Hey, don't start something unless you're willing to finish it."

He chuckles and moves to my second skate. When he's done, Sid sits to remove his own skates while I put on my shoes. I hug his jacket to me.

"Can I keep this?" I ask.

"You want a Pen's warm up jacket? They'd give you any Pen's gear if you ask for it."

"No, I want one of your warm up jackets."

I watch Sid's eyes soften and he leans in to kiss me. I hold the back of his head so that he can't pull back and I deepen the kiss for a few moments.

"Is that I yes?" I ask.

"Of course."

Sid pulls out his phone and sends a text. When he looks up, he must notice that I'm puzzled.

"Just letting security know that we're leaving" he tells me.

I watch Sid hang his skates up at his locker and then put skate guards on mine.

"I'll ask the guys tomorrow where we can keep these" he tells me.

"Ok."

We leave the locker room hand in hand both grinning after a very fun start to the day.

Sidney

As Anna recounts how much she loved her first skating lesson, I take a moment to enjoy how excited she is and how well the day is going. I was a little worried when I saw how tired Anna was this morning and then even more worried when she fell asleep. Maybe we should have rescheduled after the shit that happened yesterday. I didn't think that she'd have to work all night and then be exhausted today. Changing our morning plans was the least that I could do so that she could be alert and enjoy the rest of our day.

"Where to next?" Anna asks me.

"I thought that we could watch a movie at my place."

"What movie?"

"It's a surprise" I tell her and she groans.

After parking my car in the garage, I take her bag in one hand and her hand in the other as we go into the house. I leave her bag at the foot of the stairs and lead Anna into the kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink? Wine?" I ask.

"How about some water? I'll have wine tonight with dinner."

"Ok."

I get a bottle of water for each of us and then begin making popcorn.

"Popcorn?" Anna asks.

"What's a movie without popcorn?"

She giggles and sits at the breakfast bar to watch me.

"See something you like?" I ask.

"Always. You could always bend over and really give me a show."

I decide to indulge her and reach into a lower cupboard for a bowl.

"Ok?" I ask and look over my shoulder.

"Hmm, that's good for now."

I laugh and fill the bowl with the popcorn.

"Come on" I tell her.

We go downstairs to the theatre room and Anna settles on one of the plush sofas while I set up the movie. I begin feeling some apprehension as I set it up. I would be relentlessly ridiculed if the guys ever found out that I voluntarily watched this movie never mind went to the trouble of hunting it down and begging for a copy.

"Ready?" I ask Anna.

"I guess. You look, well, odd."

"Ok, so, I had to chase this down but I knew you'd want to see it. Um, Pat actually had to get involved and ask the studio for it because it isn't even in theatres yet. Thankfully CAA represents some of the actors and producers on the movie."

"Enough already, let's see what it is."

I settle beside Anna on the sofa and am momentarily distracted as she leans into me and settles her hand on my thigh. Briefly I consider forgoing the movie but I've been looking forward to seeing Anna's reaction all day and we'll have lots of time for 'fun' later.

"Come on Sid."

I start the movie and watch Anna rather than the screen. The moody music starts and Anna's eyes narrow as she tries to figure it out. Without even seeing the screen, I know exactly when the movie title comes on because Anna looks surprised and then smiles widely up at me.

"How did you get this?" Anna asks. "It isn't in theatres for another few months."

I pause the movie and see the title 'Fifty Shades Freed' across the screen.

"I told you" I say. "I had Pat help."

"Well, I'd thank him the next time I see him but I think I'd be too embarrassed."

"You should have seen me ask him for help. The only way that I was able to do it was because I told him it was for you."

"Your secret reading remains a secret."

"Yep" I agree. "Ready?"

Anna smiles again and settles back into my arms nibbling on popcorn while I restart the movie. After all of these years, Anna is the only person that I ever told about reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books and I definitely never told anyone that I watched the movies too. I think it was less about the embarrassment, even though it is embarrassing, and more because it was something that only Anna and I shared.

I quickly get caught up in the movie and it's only when I feel Anna's hand stroke up and down my thigh that I'm drawn back to the woman in my arms. It's definitely distracting, feeling her fingers lightly travel up and down my thigh as a particularly sexy scene plays out on screen. Maybe I should have thought this through more carefully. We may never get to dinner if she keeps this up; but, before I can act on my thoughts, the scene changes and we're both drawn back into the story.

"They really got better as they went along, you know" Anna says as the credits roll. She looks up at me. "That was a great surprise."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I'm still stunned that you were able to get a copy."

"Well we have to keep that our secret. I think Pat had to do some fast talking to get the studio to let me borrow a copy. They would only give me a non-copying DVD and I had to promise to send it back to them tomorrow."

"Then I'm even more impressed" she says and climbs onto my lap.

Once she's straddling me, Anna wraps her arms around my neck and lays her forehead on mine.

"Do you want something Miss Stanton?" I ask mimicking the movie.

"I may Mr. Crosby."

She tilts her head so that our lips meet. Quietly and slowly we explore as if we both want to savour every touch and taste. I slide one of my hands under her shirt so that I can feel the warmth of her skin and the other cups her ass that looks incredible in her jeans. It feels even better.

"Mmmm" Anna responds to my touch and I can feel my body instantly respond to her moan.

I change the angle of our kiss and it gives me the opportunity to slide my tongue between her lips. Anna's meets me eagerly and her fingers twist into my hair. I slide the hand that is on her back slowly to her waist and then up until my thumb can brush over her nipple through the lace bra. Anna gasps when I flick it giving me the opportunity to bite down lightly on her lower lip. I run my tongue over it to sooth and then bite again as Anna's hips push and grind against mine in response.

I slide my lips over her jaw and then to the soft skin of her neck. Her hair is down so I have to pull it back from her face to give my lips access. It's so long that I can wrap it around my hand and pull her head back to give me better access to her neck and clavicle.

"How long do we have before dinner?" Anna whispers.

"Not nearly enough time" I respond.

Slowly we pull apart, both breathing heavy, and I can see my desire reflected on Anna's face. Not for the first time, I want to deviate from my plans for the day and throw her down on the couch. Hmm, that brings back some good memories.

"What are you smiling about?" Anna asks me.

"I was just thinking about the first time that you were here with me watching a movie."

I can see Anna trying to remember and then know exactly the moment when she does.

"Oh, yeah. That was fun" she grins at me. "Are you sure we don't have time to walk down 'memory lane'?"

"You tempt me but I have an evening planned too."

"And I already spoiled out morning" she frowns.

"You didn't spoil anything babe" I kiss her lightly. "I much prefer you awake and up for anything than falling asleep on me during the day. Stop it, ok?"

"Ok" she agrees and kisses me. "When do we need to leave for dinner?"

I look at my watch and reply "a little over an hour."

She jumps off of my lap and scoops up the popcorn bowl and our empty water bottles.

"That doesn't give me much time. Can I have a shower?"

"Of course" I reply. Oh, wait. "Do you want to use the master or, um, the guest bath has clean towels and stuff?"

Since she's moved out, I don't know what to do about where she showers and dresses. Would she be uncomfortable in my room? Is it rude for me to suggest the guest bath?

She walks over to me, leans down and kisses me.

"I'll take the guest bath so that I'm not in your way getting dressed" she walks to the door. Before she leaves the room, she turns and says "besides, I bought a new dress for tonight and want it to be a surprise."

Then she's gone and I begin fantasizing of taking that new dress off of her later.

Finally, I shake off my day dream and close up the room. When I pass the guest bath on the way to my room, I can hear the water running and beginning thinking of a very wet, very naked Anna. That's about all I can take and need to do something about it if I'm going to get through the rest of the day without pushing her against the nearest surface immediately.

In my bathroom, I turn on the shower, hot, and quickly strip. Under the spray of hot water, with one hand rested against the wall and my mind on the very wet Anna, it doesn't take me long to take care of my 'problem.' More relaxed, I'm able to take my time showering and going over the rest of our day. I think I'll give the restaurant a call to make sure that everything is set up for us.

Standing in my shorts, I stare at the clothes in my closet and consider that this is the one thing that I didn't plan. What should I wear? I'm going to wear a suit, of course, but tie or no tie is the question. Inspired from our afternoon movie, I choose a black pin striped suit and a grey tie, which gives me lots of ideas for later.

Dressed, I walk down the hall and hear the hair dryer from the guest bath, then go downstairs. My call to the restaurant confirms that everything is ready for us. I scroll through email as I wait for Anna. Pat has sent me a long one detailing all of the requests for interviews coming from Rossi's article. Anna told me that the Pen's PR team was not responding to anything except emergencies today so the press must have decided to go directly to Pat after receiving no replies from Anna or her team. There's nothing Pat wants me to do, he simply wanted me to be aware in case I'm asked. It does surprise me when he says that he'll be coming to town tomorrow and should be here for practice. I guess this thing has blown up to the point where he wants to take care of it personally.

I'm in for another surprise when I listen to a voicemail from my dad. He and my mom will be arriving tomorrow at 1pm. They know that it's a game day so they wanted to give me the details so that I can wear ear plugs to bed. This way I won't hear them when they get to the house during my nap. They have their own keys and, usually, I won't hear anything once I'm actually asleep but I don't like to take any chances. My mom will make sure that she and I don't see or talk to each other until after the game. I feel bad but, you know, routines have to be followed.

My attention is diverted from my phone when I hear Anna's heels clicking on the tile as she walks to the kitchen. When she comes around the corner, I'm actually rendered speechless.

My first glance is to the shoes that are currently clicking as they continue to walk into the kitchen. They are skyscraper high and very thing. My eyes travel up her legs, clad in the sheerest stockings, and there are a lot of them. I send a silent 'thank you' that she's an avid runner because she has the best legs I've ever seen.

It takes me a while to reach her dress because it is incredibly short. Shit, I bet that she can't even bend over. It barely covers her ass. The dress itself is a deep blue and loosely skims over her body. It scoops over her breasts and completely covers her arms appearing to be demure until I glance back down at the mile of legs.

She's left her hair down, cascading over her shoulders, and made up her eyes so that they sparkle huge and green at me. Her lips are nude but plump as they smile at me. Very slowly, her smile slips and she frowns.

"Sidney?"

It's only when she says my name that I realize I've been sitting at the kitchen table staring at her without saying a word. I give myself a mental shake and quickly walk to her.

"I have no words for how beautiful you look" I lightly kiss her lips. "I was momentarily speechless. You are stunning baby."

Her frown clears up, she smiles again, and her hands run over my lapels.

"You look very handsome yourself Sidney."

We grin at each other for a few minutes and then I step back and offer her my arm.

"We have reservations" I tell her.

Anna

The day has been incredible. Sidney thought of everything and managed to make it an easy day of things we both like and could do together. The point of the day wasn't what we did but rather that we were together and I'm glad that Sid didn't over-engineer it. Skating and a movie was the best way to spend the afternoon and dinner has been, well, incredible.

I lean back in my chair glad that I didn't wear a form fitting dress. I may have eaten more today than I've eaten in the past three days but I've loved every minute of it.

"Have another bite" Sid says and holds up the folk full of cheesecake.

"I cannot eat another bite" I tell him.

"Just one bite."

"No, really, I can't."

"It's just one bite" he tells me.

"Do you know who Monty Python are?" I ask him. Sid nods quizzically. "They did a sketch at a restaurant where the diner ate everything on the menu. He ate and ate and ate. At the end of the meal, they bring him the cheque and the server offers him a mint. He refuses. The server says 'it's just one mint sir.' Again he refuses. 'But it's one little mint.' This goes on and on until the diner finally gives in and eats the mint."

"What happens?" Sid asks me.

I pause for dramatic effect then tell him.

"He eats the mint and his body explode. Partially digested food goes everywhere."

"Gross" Sid says and makes a face. "Are you saying that's what would happen to you if you eat this last piece of cheesecake?"

"No, I was just trying to get your mind off of feeding me that last piece of cheesecake."

Sid laughs and eats the last bite himself.

I know we must be sitting here grinning like idiots at each other but I can't seem to care. This is the happiest I've been since, well, I can't remember being this happy, ever. There are no secrets between us, nothing to fuss over or worry about, and nothing to come between us.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that Pat is coming in tomorrow. He's received a lot of calls about the article and wanted to be here personally" Sid tells me.

"Is there a problem?" I ask.

An agent doesn't fly in with only a day's notice unless there is a problem or they're worried about something. The article has caused enough of a stir that I guess it makes sense Pat would come in but I want to make sure that is the situation here.

"No problem beyond the article. He hasn't been to Pittsburgh in a while nor has he seen my parents."

"Your parents?" I quickly pick up on that small but important detail.

"Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. My parents are visiting too. They'll be in tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh."

Wow, the article, the agent and the parents in three days and all of this following Taylor's volatile visit. This is way too much for one week.

"Is that a problem?" Sid asks.

"Not a problem per se" I reply. "It's going to be the first time that I've seen them since, you know."

"Oh" he repeats.

"Yeah, ok, well" I give my head a shake. "I guess we will do the family thing all at once; first Taylor and now your parents. We've never talked about them Sidney. They must hate me."

"They don't, honest."

"What do they know?"

I don't have to expand. Sid knows that I'm referring to the abortion.

"They know everything except for that" he tells me. "I told my mother you lied about something important, really important, but that it was private."

"I can't image that your mother was happy with you leaving it there."

"Not really but she respects me and knows that I take confidences seriously."

"Oh. So what can I expect? Do they still love me, hate me, something in between?" I ask.

"Let's say somewhere in between although leaning closer to love than hate."

"That's encouraging."

"Everything will be fine Anna, really."

"You're sure?"

Sid reaches across the table and takes my hand.

"I'm absolutely sure babe."

I decide to take his lead and hope for the best. Besides, I don't want anything to ruin the rest of our evening.

"Ok then" I finish my glass of wine. "I think that I'm a little bit drunk Mr. Crosby."

I can feel the wine making me light headed but I was careful not to drink too much.

"That's ok Miss Stanton" he says and gestures for to the server for the cheque. "But no more wine for you. I have plans for you tonight and you'll need to have your wits about you."

"I have my wits" I confirm.

"Good."

Our conversation is interrupted by the server and Sid pays for our dinner. We are quickly on our way back to his house.

"So what do you have planned for the rest of our evening?" I ask.

"Why do you think I'm going to tell you when I've resisted all day?"

Remembering the last time I had a few drinks and was in Sid's car, I reach over and place my hand on his thigh, close to his knee, and am rewarded with his quick intact of air.

"Anna" he says.

"Yes" I reply.

"It's a secret."

"So you said."

I slowly slide my hand up his thigh, very slowly, achingly slow until I finally reach my goal. Just as slowly, I trace him through the material and hear his breathing quicken. That's not the only part of his body responding.

"You can continue to play" he tells me. "But you'll only succeed in my driving us off the road. I'll never divulge my secrets no matter how creative you are."

I sit back in my seat and put both of my hands in my lap.

"Fine" I tell him on a huff, teasing.

"You're so cute" he retorts.

We arrive at his house shortly and Sid leads me directly upstairs and into his bedroom. One light is on in the corner casting a romantic hue to the room. I also notice that the gym bag that's perpetually in the corner of the room is gone, as is the clutter of things he throws on the bureau but forgets are there. In fact, the entire room looks different, tidier I guess, so I look at Sid. He smiles sheepishly and shrugs.

"I know it's usually a mess" he tells me.

"Not a mess, no" I reply. "I actually love how you need order absolutely everywhere but your home."

"I can't be perfect."

"Neither can I" comes out of my mouth before I realize it.

Sid steps closer to me and cups my cheeks with his hands. In my heels, we are the same height and I can look him directly in the eyes.

"I want you" he whispers. "I love you."

I feel his words spread through like warm goo that travels with my blood. It goes everywhere and heats me everywhere it goes.

"I love you" I whisper as his lips touch mine.

His kiss is soft and his lips gently sip at mine. It's only when his hands slide lower and skim my body that I remember the lingerie I brought for tonight. I lean away from Sid.

"I'll be back in a minute" I tell him.

"Ok."

I smile, kiss him lightly one more time, and then leave the room. I left my bag in the guest bathroom so that I could change and surprise Sidney.

Once in the bathroom, I undress, retouch my make-up and brush my hair so that it flows over my shoulders the way Sidney likes. I know that he loves me in blue so I bought the dress and matching lingerie in that colour. I look critically at my reflection once I'm in the panty and bra set. It's taken me years but my body is finally thin and toned. Who knew that stress was the cure?

After a last fluff of my hair, I pull on the matching short satin robe and walk barefoot to Sid's bedroom. He's at the dresser setting his phone in its cradle. There is music playing softly that I recognize as one of Sid's favourite bands. He's rid himself of his jacket and tie and his shirt is open to reveal his tee shirt.

I know the exact moment he knows I've arrived. He briefly stands absolutely still and then slowly turns to me. More warmth flows through me when I watch his eyes widen and then soften.

"You are so beautiful" he whispers.

I walk further into the room and Sid meets in the middle. With each of his hands, he reaches up and plays with the ends of my hair.

"So very beautiful" he whispers again.

I lean in, kiss him, and then take a step back. Slowly I shrug each of my shoulders and the robe slides down to my elbows revealing the swells of my breasts and the top of the blue lace. I'm rewarded by watching Sid's eyes widen and darken, his iris and pupil become indistinguishable, and his tongue darts out and licks his bottom lip. When he reaches out, I bat his hand away and smile.

"Oh no, I need a little something myself if you want to see more" I tease him.

Sid smiles, steps back and holds out his arms. Oooo, he's like a present for me to unwrap. First I take one of his wrists, release the button, and then repeat on the other sleeve. That gives me the room to slide his shirt down his arms and completely off. Next I pull his tee shirt from his pants and up over his head. I do this slowly and skim my fingers over the warm skin I reveal smiling when I feel Sid shiver.

"My turn" Sid says after I toss his tee shirt aside.

I stand still and watch as Sid slowly slides my robe further down my arms until it drops to the floor. His hands drop away as his eyes look me over top to bottom and then back up again. He steps closer to me and leans down to run his nose up my neck stopping at my ear where he leaves a kiss. His lips kiss down my neck, chest and over the swell of one breast and then the other. My hands naturally gravitate into his hair as he nuzzles and kisses my breasts. I gasp when his lips capture my nipple through the lace. Between his lips, teeth and the friction of the lace, I'm momentarily lost in sensation.

I don't even feel him unclipping my bra but it soon follows my robe onto the floor. He captures my lips in a quick but thorough kiss and then pulls me up and into his arms. My legs encircle his waist and I grip his shoulders taking a quick moment to appreciate the hard muscles under my fingers. He walks us over to the bed and then slowly releases me so that I slide down his body and my now naked breasts warm over his skin.

I turn and strip back the comforter and sheet before I sit on the bed. With one hand over his belt, I pull him closer so that he's standing directly in front of me and at a perfect height. Looking up, I watch Sid while I undo his belt and then pants, letting them fall to the floor. He stays still, eyes on mine, so I pull his shorts down too. When he springs free, my eyes leave Sid's and look directly ahead, while I take him in hand. I enclose one hand around the base and, rather than using my mouth, I slowly stroke him from base to tip. It's exciting to watch him grow harder in my hand, by my hand, a couple of inches from my face.

"Stop" Sid says and pulls my hand away. "I want you too much right now. I'll embarrassment myself if you keep going."

I look up at him.

"There's nothing embarrassing about it" I tell him. "Do you have any idea what it does to me, watching your reaction to my touch, to see you lose control? I'm soaked sitting here."

Sid shuts his eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath and then kneels in front of me. He pushes my legs open wide, pushes my panties to the side and slides one finger inside of me, deep, and swirls it around.

"You're soaked baby" he whispers deeply. "So very hot and wet."

He slides one more finger in and makes a sound deep in his throat that almost has me cum right here and now.

"I need to see this close up" he says.

I feel bereft when his fingers disappear. I have to lift my hips so that Sid can pull my panties off then he tosses them aside. With both hands on one of my thighs, he pushes them wider then uses his fingers to bare me to the air. I shiver when the cool air reaches my wet skin. Sid makes that sound again and I swear I might start dripping soon.

"Sid" I moan.

"Yes,"

"Sid please."

"Please what?"

He's really going to make me beg.

"I need to feel you, please touch me, please."

He slides a finger over my clit, lower over but not inside, and then it falls away.

"Sidney please."

He chuckles and repeats the action with his finger, again and again, while I pant desperately.

"More, please Sidney, more."

This time, his finger pauses at my clit and teases alternating between pushing, rubbing and flicking; but, it's too quick and not nearly enough. Vaguely I'm aware that my hips begin to tilt and meet his touch. It's too much and not enough at the same time. It isn't until Sid's lips close over my nipple and suck, hard, that I realize I've shut my eyes. Two fingers are rubbing my clit while his teeth, tongue and lips work my nipple. When he's particularly rough, he groans and I realize that my hands are in his hair and my nails digging into his scalp. I'm lost in sensation again but not enough to go over the edge. It's like he's keeping me right at the precipice, waiting, teasing, making me wait.

"Sidney!" I cry out, very loud, begging him.

This time he acquiesces, his lips leave my nipple, his hands push my thighs wide apart and his tongue pushes inside of me. His nose collides with my clit and his tongue works me hard and fast. It doesn't take long before I explode. Electricity runs through my body, I'm hot and cold at the same time and only vaguely aware that I've fallen back on the bed.

When I can finally open my eyes, I realize that Sid's actually in bed beside me and he's pulled me completely up so I'm lying against the pillows with him.

"Hi" he says.

"Hi."

I notice that he's holding my panties.

"Nice" he says as he twirls it with his finger. "I'm sorry I didn't get to appreciate it longer."

"That's ok" I tell him. "It had the desired effect so all's good."

He chuckles, throws my panties to the side, then sits up and straddles me and grabs something from the side table. I chuckle when I see that it's the grey tie he was wearing earlier.

"Wanna play?" he asks.

"Yes please."

"Blindfold or bound?"

I think for a moment then say "blindfold. Your headboard doesn't have something to tie me to."

"Good point" he replies.

The last thing I see is his grin before he uses the tie to blindfold me. It takes a few moments to tie so that it doesn't pull my hair but he gets it.

"Ice or whip cream? Or both?" he asks me.

Oh my. More fun.

"Ice" I tell him remembering when we did the same years ago.

"I'll be back, don't move."

I feel him get off of the bed but don't hear anything again until he comes back into the room. He doesn't say anything but I hear him put something on the bedside table and then feel him get back onto the bed only beside me this time.

I gasp when I feel cold water dripping on my nipple, sliding down over my breast and to the bed. I'm more prepared but it's equally cold when he does it to the other nipple. I shiver in response but I doubt it's from the cold. Next his tongue licks up the liquid.

The bed shifts again and I feel an ice cube run over my lips dripping water into my mouth. He then slides it over my chin, down my neck, chest and then my nipple. He circles it again and again with the ice. Water is dripping where the ice cube is melting, my nipple is rock hard and he's found that incredible balance where pleasure meets some pain but it doesn't hurt.

I jump when another ice cube begins circling my other nipple. The sensation of both nipples becoming colder and colder from the ice cube is incredible. I think I'm moaning with each movement and then they're gone. The ice cube is replaced by his mouth on one nipple first and then the other. He laves, tugs and sucks while touching me nowhere else. I dig my fingers into the bed sheet trying to absorb all of the sensations then, as I vaguely wonder if I can take any more, it's all gone.

Again the bed shifts and Sid is between my legs pushing my thighs apart. He leaves kisses up on leg, thigh and then the other, avoiding where I want him most again. I shift my hips and might even mew. I think he sits up again, still between my legs, and he pushes my thighs wider apart. His finger softly touches the sensitive skin between my legs outline one lip and then the other.

"You're so sensitive after you've cum. Gloriously wet and swollen too. I love touching you right after you've cum."

His words run through me and settle exactly where he's currently touching me. I shiver every time his finger slides over my skin. Am I that wet still that his finger slides?

The bed shifts again and then he's back between my legs. He pushes one thigh wider and then I feel cold water dripping on me. It must be one of the ice cubes melting. I moan as the cold drips hit my hot, bare skin. The drips stop then, only a moment later, I feel the ice cube directly on my skin right there.

"Oh!" I exclaim.

"Ok?" he asks after moving the cube away.

"Yes" I moan. "Please, more."

He chuckles and then I feel the cube trace up and down this time. I'm so hot that the cube melts quickly and cool water accumulates between my legs beneath me. That cube must melt because I feel a bigger one start all over again. It feels so good, especially when he pushes it inside.

"Oh god! More" I cry out.

Sid begins moving the cube in and out, over and over, then up and touches my clit.

"Oh, stop" I tell him. "Owe."

He stops immediately, pulls off the blindfold and I blink a few times before I can see his worried face. I sit up quickly and hold his cheeks in my hands.

"I'm ok" I tell him. "I don't think ice was meant to go 'there'. Everything else was good, honest."

I kiss him slowly, deepening it, and can feel him relax again. I pull him down on top of me and continue kissing him until he's completely relaxed and is kissing me back ardently. Then, I push him back slightly.

"I have two requests" I say.

"Anything."

"First, can we shift over a bit? My butt is lying on very wet sheets."

Sid laughs and rolls us over until he's back on top of me and we're on dry land again.

"And the second?" he asks.

I sigh, kiss him softly and briefly, then say "make love to me."

"My pleasure" he replies.

Then he does.

 _ **Author's note: I had horrible writers block with this chapter and rewrote it twice to finally get it where I wanted. It was a balance between setting up the parent's visit and experiencing the fun of their date. Btw, if you don't know who Monty Python is, search YouTube. My favourite is the 'department of silly walks.'**_


	48. Chapter 48

Sidney

I wake up disoriented. It's dark in my bedroom so I know that it's still night but something woke me up. I look to my left and Anna is propped up on her elbow looking at me.

"Hi" she greets me softly.

"Hi. Can't sleep?"

"I woke up to pee and couldn't fall back asleep. Did I wake you?"

"I didn't hear you" I tell her. "What are you doing?"

"I was watching you sleep which, now that I think about it, sounds really creepy."

We both laugh.

"Sweet" I tell her. "Not creepy."

Anna frowns and I know that she's thinking.

"When did the media start interviewing you?" she asks.

That question seems to come out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"When you were a kid, how old were you when the media wanted to talk to you about hockey and being a hockey player?"

"I think I was eight years old" I tell her. "It was with the local CBC station."

"Why did your parents agree to it?"

"I don't know actually but they asked me if I wanted to do the interview, I said yes and then I was interviewed. Before I played in juniors where interviewing was part of the job, my parents always asked me if I wanted to do the interviews requested. I guess we made the decision together" I tell her. "When was the first time that you were interviewed by the media?"

Anna furrows her brow again and replies "I don't know. I can't remember a time when I wasn't in front of cameras or the media wasn't around. It seems that I was always being prepared and practicing for interviews."

"This is an interesting topic for" I check the clock. "For 2am. What makes you ask?"

"I was thinking back to that time we were trapped in the elevator. Remember that?" she asks and I nod. "That's when we talked about how much we had in common, growing up in front of the media, but I've been wondering about that recently."

"Wondering about what?" I ask.

"If we really have as much in common as we originally thought."

Where is she going with this?

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"Well, one of the things that originally drew us together was our similar childhoods, right? We understood what it was like to be in the spotlight so young. With Taylor's visit, I started wondering if our experiences really were that similar. We were both definitely dealing with the media young but that's where the differences begin. Your parents gave you a choice, involved you in decisions about what you did, and were always there for you. Taylor loves you fiercely and would do anything for you too." She pauses for a moment before continuing. "I hadn't seen my sister for more than a year when Matt announced that he was running for Governor. Both families were at the press conference for the announcement to show unity and the closeness between the two families. It's ironic that it was the first time I'd seen my sister in thirteen months. This makes me wonder how much you and I really have in common. Maybe there are more differences."

"Does it matter?" I ask and she raises her eyebrows. "I'm serious Anna. This could be the lake of sleep talking but does it really matter how many similarities or differences we have now? We have shared so much that the basis for our originally 'getting together' doesn't seem to matter anymore."

"I think it does but I'm not saying that we shouldn't be together because of the differences. I think it matters so that we can understand each other better. For example, until I took the internship at the Pens, I never did or said anything that wasn't completely approved by my parents. Think about that for a minute. I didn't decide who to date, what to wear, what to say, never made my own life choices before the Penguins. I'm envious of your childhood and your relationship with your family."

"I know that your childhood wasn't easy Anna. I understand" I tell her.

"You may but I think that I'm just beginning to understand what that means."

Confused, I ask "what do you mean?"

"Sid, I have only had one completely open and honest relationship in my life." I smile and Anna frowns. "The problem is that it's wasn't with you" she says softly. "Think about it. I lied to you and even to myself, constantly, whether deliberate or by omission. Can you say that you've been completely open and honest with me? What about when we first got back together? We really only talked about what we 'had' to discuss and then we ignored the rest."

I think about what she's said and I'm forced to agree.

"You were referring to Matt" I say realizing who she was talking about as the only open and honest relationship.

"Yes" she agrees.

I feel pain in my chest at the thought that Anna's best relationship has been with Matt. It's a sobering thought. I sit up, as does Anna, so that we're face to face.

"So you had more in common with Matt?" I ask.

She frowns and says "not more in common, I guess; but, there was never anything to hide from him. We began our relationship in honesty and friendship. Maybe I wasn't worried about what I would lose so I never tried to hide anything. I don't know. We easily understood each other."

"So how can I understand you better?" I ask.

She instantly looks distraught.

"Oh Sidney, I didn't mean that you have to understand me better. I was just trying to articulate what I've been thinking and try to be more open and honest. If anyone needs to do more, it's clear to me that I need to understand you better and I think Taylor's visit was a good start."

Oh.

"Ok" I tell her. "But I think we both can do that better."

"Ok" she agrees. "Would you tell me something?"

"Anything."

"Why do you love me?"

She looks incredibly young and fragile as she asks me that question.

"I don't know that I can put it into words" I admit and struggle to do so. "First, it's your strength even though I know that you don't see it. You were unsure and inexperienced when we first met but you always had strength to meet challenges and do whatever needed to be done. I guess the dichotomy of strength and insecurity first drew me in and in equal amounts. I loved watching you kick ass in the locker room with the reporters as much as I loved how much you needed me to help you, look out for you, care for you.

I love the way your eyes get gooey and soft, then you give me that small and sweet smile that my heart always responds to immediately. You never treat me like Sidney Crosby, in italics and bold letters. I'm always just a regular guy to you and that's always how you make me feel. There's never any pressure to be anything else but exactly who I am and that's what makes me feel special. You love me for me.

You not hard to look at either" I tease her. We both chuckle. "Seriously, I've never met a woman who is sexier, more beautiful or hotter than you. The way your body instantly reacts to mine, the way you know just where to touch me, and the way you moan, fuck the way you moan, is a combination and experience that I've only ever had with you.

I could go on and on, you know, but we really should get some sleep."

Her eyes have become watery and she blinks back tears as she gently cups my cheek.

"Sidney, you are the single best man I have ever known and the only man I have and will ever truly love."

My heart swells and a warm sensation flows through my body. I pull her into my arms and onto my lap capturing her lips in a sweet, loving kiss. We slide down to the bed and are soon lost in each other's touch and our body's sensations.

Anna

I'm tired but it's a good tired. My body feels well used and appreciated and, as I think back on last night, I remember exactly every touch. It was a perfect day and night. I've never felt so completely loved and cherished in my entire life.

"Anna?"

I look up to see Adam at my door with coffee.

"Oh, I couldn't be happier to see you" I say.

Adam comes in and hands me a cup.

"I'm happy to see you too" Adam replies.

"Oh, I was talking to the coffee" I tease.

"Be nice or I'll take it back."

"Ok, ok, I'll be nice."

"How was your day off?" he asks me.

"It was great."

"Oh, from that smile I'd guess that it was more than great with salacious details to describe it."

"Ok then, it was more than great" I agree. "How about you?"

"I spent the morning in bed and the afternoon at the spa."

"In bed with anyone in particular?" I was teasing but become intrigued when Adam blushes. "Ah, there was someone."

I look at my watch but there isn't time now to gossip. A glance at my schedule tells me I'm swamped until lunch.

"Lunch, noon?" I ask.

Adam nods and leaves still blushing. I continue to sift through the mass of emails that I received yesterday and haven't worked through. My calendar alarm pops up and I know that it's time to speak with the coaches about the media protocols for the day.

I stop through the intern's bullpen to touch base with Adam.

"Do you have everything you need to direct the others for how to prepare their players? There's going to be questions about the Rossi article."

"I'm good" Adam tells me.

"Great. Oh, Sid has the speaking points."

"I figured" Adam says. "Thanks."

I continue down to ice level and directly to Mike's office where the coaches are eating breakfast and waiting for me.

"Hi Anna" Mike says when he sees me at his door. "Come on in."

I join the men at the conference table and we chat about our days off for a few minutes as they continue to eat their breakfasts.

"Thank you for meeting with me" I say. "I'm sure that you're all aware of the article Rossi wrote. I've met with David and legal and we created the release that already went out and that's all the organization will say on the subject. My team will talk to their players before practice so that everyone is prepared for questions. I wanted to take a few minutes of your time to give you some background and the speaking notes."

Mike holds up his hand and I pause.

"Anna, I speak for all coaches when I say that it was a bullshit article written by a hack and we don't believe any of it. If it wouldn't make things worse than each of us would run to the nearest reporter and give one hell of an interview about that ass-hat Rossi. Since that will make things worse, tell us what the company line is and we'll follow."

"Damn right Sully" Rick Tochet agrees with Mike. "Anna, you've stepped in to help us with a moment's notice and done an incredible job. The PR team is running perfectly which makes our job much easier. That asshole should be fired."

There are murmurs of agreement which makes me smile and I feel incredibly touched. I have to take a deep breath so that tears don't fill my eyes at their kindness. The coaches, Mike and Rick in particular, are rough-around-the-edges guys and for them to be this sweet and kind is unexpected and overwhelming.

"Thank you all" I tell them. "Legal has determined that we there are no specific grounds to sue Rossi or the paper. I provided details for everything in the article should something else happen."

"That must have been as much fun as a colonoscopy" Rick says.

I chuckle at the unexpected, and appreciated, humour.

"Oh it was" I agree. "David and Mario have decided that the statement released is the only comment that the organization will make. The players are being given the same directions and the only comment anyone will make is to say that they have no comment and refer the reporter to the Pens' statement."

"That's going to be easy" Mike says.

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with this at all" I tell the men and Mike cuts me off again.

"This isn't your fault Anna" he tells me. "No one should have their personal life torn apart and published for public delight."

"Yeah, Anna, don't apologize" Rick agrees.

"Anna" Jacques speaks for the first time. "I've been dealing with the press longer than you've been alive and there's one thing that I can tell you. For all the many good guys out there, maybe hundreds of them, there is always that one, how do you say, um, connard."

The rest of us look at each other and Rick Googles it.

"Ah" Rick says. "Asshole."

We all laugh and I, surprisingly, feel better. I thought that all I would feel is embarrassed at having to discuss my personal life becoming public with these men. I never expected that I would feel a comradery and support.

"Thank you" I say to Jacques and then the whole group. "I appreciate the support."

We chat a little bit about the game tonight and then I leave them to their preparation for practice. On my way past the locker room and the player's lounge, I see that my team is talking with the players milling about, but I don't see Sid.

"Looking for someone" I hear the whisper almost directly in my ear and know exactly who it is.

I turn and see Sid smiling beside me.

"No one in particular" I tell him. I glance around and there is no one in sight so I give Sid a quick kiss. "Good morning. How are you?"

"Someone kept me up most of the night but, surprisingly, I feel refreshed" he gives me a wicked grin.

"That's good news since there is a game tonight."

"Hmm" is all he says and continues on to the change room but not before slapping my butt as he goes by.

"TMI" I hear behind me.

Thank god, when I turn, it is only Adam.

"I should have figured you guys would be into that stuff" he says in a low voice. "It's always the quiet types."

"Adam!" I shush him.

"No one is around" he tells me.

"How did it go with the players?" I ask him to change the subject.

"As easy as expected. Everyone will give the same answer if asked about the article or you."

"I really hate that we have to do all of this because of me."

"Stop Anna. It's not because of you. It's because of Rossi. So just stop it. To be honest with you, most of the guys are truly pissed and would like to take a shot at him."

"Ok, ok, I get it" I tell him.

"Good."

We chat as we head back to the office level. Adam catches me up on his day off, at least the PG version since we're walking through the office, and I can tell that he really likes this guy. I'm laughing as we turn the corner into my office and I walk straight into Trina Crosby. Shit.

Sidney

Practice was hard, as it usually is with Sully, but up-tempo and fun. We're hitting the drills perfectly and the goalies are getting a good workout from our shots. The Caps are number one in the east and we really want to beat them tonight. We know that we have a Cup winning team and are eager to prove it.

The media scrum was awkward. None of the reporters wanted to really ask about the article but they all had to do it. It's news. Thankfully, they were as relieved as I was after I answered the question by referring them to the Pens' statement and then saying no comment. We then move onto the regular scrum kind of questions.

When it's over, I go about the usual routine of taking off my gear and hanging it up to dry. I'm surprised to see my dad standing there when I turn back around.

"Dad?"

"Hey kid" he says.

We embrace laughing.

"What are you doing here so early?" I ask.

"We were able to grab an earlier flight so we did."

I want to take his explanation at face value but I have a small voice telling me that there is something more going on. I don't have time to ask him more questions because Pat joins us.

"Looks like everyone is here" Pat says as he greets us.

"Hey Pat, good to see you" dad says.

We chat a bit before Pat moves on to talk to some of his other clients and leaves dad and I alone.

"Why the earlier flight?" I ask.

Dad has a horrible poker face so I immediately know that there is more to this early visit.

"Your mother wanted to see if she could get a moment with Anna before the game."

Oh. They came in early so that mom could talk to Anna. Usually I wouldn't worry but, since mom and dad came in early specifically for Anna and mom to talk, I'm worried.

"Stop worrying kid" dad says. "This way there's no awkwardness later. Besides, you know better than to argue with your mother."

"I guess so."

"Sid, really, don't worry about it. Mom thought that Anna might feel odd about seeing us again and that saying hello now might be easier for everyone."

I guess that makes sense and it is like mom to want everyone to be taken care of.

"Ok" I tell him. "I need to shower then do you want to grab lunch or just go directly to my place?"

"Let's you and I grab lunch. Mom will take a cab to your place later."

I agree and go shower while dad goes to the player's lounge. He knows everyone on the team including the coaches and trainers and it's a good time for him to catch up.

"I saw your dad in the lounge" Tanger says to me when I enter the showers.

"Yeah he and mom came in for a few days."

"Pat too" he continues.

"Yeah."

"Anything wrong?" he asks me.

"Not really. Pat came in because of the article and he hasn't been here in a while. Mom and day came in to visit."

"They haven't been here since Anna's been back, right?"

"Right."

"So they're here to check out your girlfriend" he tells me.

Let the chirping begin.

"Your folks are here to check out Anna?" Flower yells across the showers.

"Yeah" Tanger yells back.

"That means it's serious Sid" Horny joins in. "You're going to need to put a ring on it soon."

I dunk my head under the water to ignore the rest of the chirping. These guys will pick up anything to rag on me. As I leave, their taunts and laughing follow me. I make sure that I'm dressed and out of the change room before the guys follow me. I don't mind the chirping but I don't need to give them more opportunities to do so.

Upon entering the player's lounge, I see my dad at the counter talking to Sully and Tochet. He loves talking to the coaches, or anybody really, about the game and the team. No matter how old he is, or how long it's been since he's played, my dad loves hockey today as much as ever. Actually, if you get Taylor, dad and I watching a game, mom usually leaves the room because nothing but hockey is discussed for those two and half hours.

"Sid" dad calls out when he sees me.

I smile and walk over to them.

"It's good to see you Troy" Sully says. "We'll see you later."

We all say goodbye and dad and I are left alone.

"Are you ready for lunch?" dad asks.

"Yeah, let's go."

We walk to the garage in silence and dad doesn't speak until we're on the highway.

"Tell me about Anna" he says.

Confused I ask "what do you mean? You know Anna."

"We knew Anna two years ago when she was a young girl; but, it's been two years Sid. I'm sure she's different now."

I think about his words. He's right, Anna is different but do I really want to tell my father about how she's different.

"Sure, she's different" I tell him. "She's more confident and sure of herself I guess."

"That must have been odd, with her coming back and getting to know each other again."

It makes me wonder even more why mom and dad have come here, now, to visit. It's usually mom who talks to me about my personal life. Dad and I primarily talk hockey and other sports.

"It's been, um, a little bumpy" I confess. "We're working through it."

"That's good" he replies. "You both realize that there are things to work through and are doing so."

"Ok" is all that I can think to say.

"Look, Sid, I just want to make sure that you're ok. The last few years have been difficult for you and I guess your mother and I are worried."

I think about what Taylor told Anna about how concerned my family has been. I guess this is how dad is trying to ask me about it. He's not very subtle.

"I know dad" I sigh. "I'm good and Anna and I are on our way to being good too."

"Ok."

I guess he means it because he changes the subject and we talk about the Caps game tonight. Like we've done many times before, we pick up take out from the Italian restaurant we love and then eat lunch at home. Since mom isn't around, dad has spaghetti and chicken like I do. Mom wouldn't let him have that many carbs but he knows that his secret is safe with me.

"I need to nap" I tell him when we're done.

"Ok kid. I'll clean up."

"Thanks dad."

I go upstairs to my room, undress and then climb into bed. Before I can sleep, I need to hear how Anna is doing. I know my mom isn't mean but I feel bad that Anna's been ambushed.

'You there?' I text.

Nothing.

'I'm going to sleep but need to know you're ok' I send.

Nothing again.

As I contemplate calling her, a reply comes through.

'Sleep. Everything is fine. I'll tell you later.'

'Ok, love you'

'Love you too' she replies.

I can sleep now that I know she's ok. There's going to be a story I'm sure but she's talking to my mother, not Taylor, so everything will be fine.

Anna

"Do you have a few minutes to chat?"

I'm stunned to see Trina Crosby at my office door. I thought that the Crosbys weren't going to be here until his afternoon and yet, here she is, asking if I have a few minutes to chat.

"Hi Trina" I reply and deliberately smile even though I want to puke. "Please come in."

I gesture to my sitting area and Trina comes in, closing the door behind her.

"I just need a moment" I tell her and go back to my desk.

Quickly, I send emails to reschedule my next meetings and lunch with Adam. I have a feeling that, even if the chat with Trina is short, I may need some time to recover from it in case the chat with Taylor is repeated.

I forward my phone to voicemail and then join Trina. I sit in the chair beside her, cross my legs and smooth down my skirt. I almost smile at the nervous habit. It's been a long time since I've smoothed my skirt that way with nerves.

"You look good" Trina says with a smile. "How are you settling into the new job? I guess the work itself isn't new to you but the position here is."

"It's been a little overwhelming, especially recently, but the team is incredible and have been very supportive."

"They are a great group of boys."

"Yes, they are" I agree. "Actually though, I was referring to my intern team. They are new to their roles as well but very, very good."

"You are very talented. I'm sure that they are following your lead."

I continue to smile but my mind is whirling. What is she doing here? What does she really want to talk about?

"Thank you" I tell her. "It's a great time to visit Pittsburgh. The game tonight should be really good and it's another sell out."

"Troy is very excited to see this game in person."

"Not you?"

"I love to watch Sidney play but, when you're in the rink, you can hear everything. I hate that sound when someone checks him into the boards."

I smile.

"I know what you mean" I tell her. "I hate it too. I've even watched the game from the media level and you can still hear it."

She smiles back.

"The Penguins are lucky to have you back" she tells me. "And Sidney is very happy that you're back together."

Ah, finally we get to the 'meat' of our conversation.

"I'm very happy too" I agree and wait to see where she's taking this conversation next.

"When we talk to him these past few weeks, he is lighter, happier, than he's been in a long while. It's not accidental that it coincides with your return."

I don't know how to respond to her words. It feels like she's asking me something without saying the words but I can't figure out exactly what she's asking.

"That article wasn't fair Anna" she says bluntly.

"It wasn't untrue" I admit.

"But only half of a story doesn't make it true."

I'm surprised by her words. I've brought all manner of trouble to this family because of that article, and the break up with Sid two years ago, and yet she is being kind.

"What did your mother say about the article?" Trina asks.

"I haven't talked to her about it."

"What do you mean you haven't talked to her about it? She hasn't called to see how you are?"

Of course Trina would assume my mother would call me. That's what she would do. Hell, that's what most mothers would do.

"I don't exactly have the same relationship with my mother have that you do with Sidney and Taylor" I admit. "Since my father's passing, there are no political implications from the media so she wouldn't care about Rossi's article."

Trina purses her lips. It's the same thing I see Sidney do when he's thinking or trying to figure something out.

"I realize that your relationship with your mother is, well, let's call it difficult and leave it at that dear; but, that's not how most mother-daughter relationships are. Sure, they can be difficult, and when we're having a glass of wine sometime I'll share with you some of Taylor's turmoil in her teen years, but they should be different."

I take a deep breath so that I don't break down and sob in her arms. There is no doubt that Sidney gets his compassion, kindness and intuition from his mom.

"I have to admit that I was concerned" she tells me. "Your break up was very hard on Sidney and it only became harder when you became engaged; but, he is very happy that you're back. I hope that it's to stay."

"It is" I reply quickly.

It's very important to me that she knows how committed I am to Sidney.

"Trina, the break up with Sidney was very difficult for me too. I thought I'd never see him again never mind have the opportunity to be with him. This is" for a moment I'm at a loss for words. "This second chance is a gift."

Trina smiles widely.

"Good, I'm happy to hear that Anna. Sidney didn't tell me much about why you broke up but I can see that it was as difficult for you as it was for him. I'm glad that you both have this second chance. You know, Troy and I broke up for a few months when we were dating."

"Really?" I'm surprised.

Hell, the whole conversation feels surreal to me.

"Yes, I didn't think that Troy was serious about our relationship so I broke up with him. He was solely focused on hockey, and playing for the Canadiens, that he didn't seem to care about me. I was very wrong. The day that he was drafted, he called me and basically begged me come back to him. He won't admit it, but there was some serious grovelling and begging going on."

I chuckle at her story.

"Anyway" she continues. "He wanted me to know that, no matter what happened in training camp, he couldn't see his life without me."

"That is so sweet."

"It really was. Anyway, if a couple goes to the trouble of getting back together and working through their differences, then I think they'll make it." I guess I'm frowning because she asks "what's wrong?"

I decide to be as honest and open as Trina.

"I didn't know what to expect when you asked me to chat" I confess. "I definitely didn't expect you to be so, well, nice I guess."

I regret it the minute the words are out of my mouth but relax when Trina laughs.

"To be honest" she begins. "I didn't know what I was going to say either. I just wanted to chat with you, one to one, so that any uncomfortableness or weirdness was gone."

"Thank you, I'm glad that you did Trina. It really is wonderful to see you."

"After the game" Trina begins but then there's a knock on my door.

"I'm sorry" I tell her. "Come in" I call out.

Adam comes into the office. He's smiling but I know him too well; something is very, very wrong. I don't wait for him to say anything.

"Trina, I'm so sorry to do this to you but there are a few things that need my attention."

"Nonsense" she says. "I've intruded long enough. I'll come find you before the game and we can talk about a family dinner tomorrow, ok?"

"Sounds good" I tell her and stand.

She stands too and then leans in to kiss my cheek.

"I'll see you later" she tells me, smiles at Adam and then leaves closing the door behind her.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"It's Rossi" he tells me.

"What about Rossi?"

"He's writing a follow up article."

"About what?" I ask. "There couldn't possibly be anything else to write about."

"Apparently he has a new 'source' that has new information about what happened two years ago when you were an intern. I heard it from my own Trib source who was sure about that much but didn't know any more details."

"I really don't know what else there could be Adam. We need more information."

"I've been calling around and I found out who his source is" he pauses and it's not for dramatic effect.

Clearly Adam doesn't want to tell me who the source is but then it hits me: two years ago when I was an intern means that there is only one person who could be stirring the pot.

"It's Meaghan" he tells me exactly what I'm thinking.

Shit.


	49. Chapter 49

Sidney

I didn't see Anna before the game, which isn't unusual, but I did wake up from my nap to a text from her:

'Good game, love you, xo'

The mood in the locker room is very high after the game. We only beat the Caps by one goal but the score went back and forth a few times so it was definitely hard fought. Through the interviews, we hold it together and tamp down some of the excitement, but when press leaves, the music is turned up and there is definitely a celebration. I chatted briefly with my dad and Pat but then I showered and dressed quickly.

In the player's lounge, I find mom and Anna chatting amiably. When mom sees me, she runs to me and I greet her with a big hug. She hates it when they come in on game day because she needs to wait until after the game for us to see each other.

"You played so well Sidney" she tells me.

"Thanks mom."

It's the same after every game since I played my first one. Regardless of win or lose, mom will tell me that I played well and hug me. She pulls back, kisses my cheek and then hugs me again. I look at my dad and he laughs when I roll my eyes. When mom finally lets me go, I walk to Anna.

"Hi babe" I kiss her cheek.

"Hi, great game" she replies.

I know immediately that there is something wrong but she takes my hand and holds it tight. Instinctively I know that she doesn't want to talk about it now.

"I'm going to give Anna a drive to her hotel" I tell my parents.

"Ok dear. We'll see you in the morning" mom replies.

I'm thirty one years old but I'm still unable to tell my parents that I'm staying at my girlfriend's for the night. Thankfully mom knows but doesn't say anything overt either.

"Good night" I tell them both

"We'll finalize dinner tomorrow" Anna tells my mom and they embrace.

"Great" mom says and then she and dad leave.

I turn to Anna and she smiles at me. It doesn't reach her eyes and I know that she wants to wait until we're completely alone to talk. We talk with some of the guys as we walk to the parking garage and part at my car. As soon as Anna and I inside, I have to ask her.

"You never leave when I do" I tell her. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Please drive and we can talk at the hotel."

"I'll drive but you need to tell me that you're ok."

"I'm ok."

She looks sincere so I start driving the short trip to her hotel.

"The chat with your mom was unexpected. I was freaking out when I saw her in my office but we had a lovely talk. She didn't want it to be awkward if we saw each other for the first time at dinner or something. We really had a great talk. She's pretty awesome."

I take her hand and kiss it.

"I'm glad. Dad told me why they came in early and I was worried for a minute, especially after what happened with Tay, but that's not mom's style" I tell her.

We arrive at her hotel and I do valet parking. The trip up to her room is silent. It's only when the door is closed does Anna step out of her shoes, take the clip out of her hair and sighs.

"I'm going to have a glass of wine" she tells me.

I wait in the seating area. She quickly returns the wine for herself and bottle of water for me. It's sweet that she knows my post-game routines.

"Ok, now tell me what's going on" I tell her.

She takes a long drink from her glass and then recounts what happened during the day. I quickly wish I'd asked for a glass of wine myself.

The conversation with mom was great and even makes Anna tear up when she tells me some of their conversation. In all the times that I thought about Anna and I marrying and having our own family, I never realized that she would by joining with my family too and not just me, which might be the only real family she has.

I can feel the strain creep into her voice as she changes topic. It seems that Rossi's article is the gift that keeps on giving.

"I don't understand" I say when she finishes. "I get that Meaghan is still with the Rangers, although how she's managed to keep her job is surprising, and that she's leading the PR on the outdoor game. What could she possibly have to say to Rossi that hasn't already been written? Besides the fact that there's a non-disclosure agreement, there's no more to tell Anna. It's all out there now."

I expect Anna to agree with me or laugh and then agree with me. I don't expect her to drink down the rest of her wine, refill it and then drink the full, new glass.

"Anna, what else is there?"

She looks up and her eyes are filled with tears.

"Sid, there is only one thing that isn't public. There is only one thing that hasn't been written about."

The tears spill over her cheeks and that's when I get it; the baby. Oh God, no one knows that the baby was mine, well no one outside of people I trust with my life.

"The baby" I whisper.

With tears in her voice, Anna repeats "the baby."

"How could she possibly know anything more than was already reported?"

"I don't know Sidney. It doesn't make any sense and I don't have any facts or proof but I just have a really bad feeling. Haven't you ever wondered how the press found out about it? My parents and the campaign assumed it was opposition research done during the election so that my father wouldn't get the nomination; but, what if it wasn't?"

"You can't possibly be thinking that Meaghan leaked it to the press. How the fuck would she have known?" I'm both baffled with how and terrified that Anna's right.

"I don't know Sidney, I said that it's only a feeling, but it feels right. Adam only found out that Meagan is feeding Rossi for a new article not what the content is about."

She drinks down another glass of wine and I take the empty glass before she can fill it again.

"Anna, you'll hate the hangover you'll have in the morning if you keep going."

Anna sighs.

"I know, thanks" she sighs again. "Sidney, I'm so sorry about these articles and all of this shit. It's coming down on you, on your parents, on the team, I hate it."

"You need to stop apologizing Anna" I yell at her and jump off the sofa to begin pacing the room. "We've talked about this so many times. The article Rossi wrote happened because I punched him. Sure, you would have been in it but it wouldn't have focused on you,, and had the added credibility to be based on an interview with you, if I hadn't laid out that ass. I also don't remember you having sex by yourself. We had sex. The rest of it is bullshit. Ok?"

I turn back to her and tears are streaming down her face. I rush over and kneel in front of her. Taking her cheeks in my hands, I softly kiss away her tears and then linger on her lips. We both pull away but only far enough to rest our foreheads against each other.

"I love you" she whispers.

"Good."

Anna chuckles and kisses my lips once more.

"Ok?" I ask.

"Yes, ok."

"Good" I pull back. "I love you too."

"Good" she repeats back to me. "Can you stay?"

I have to smile at her question. She couldn't force me away.

"Of course" I tell her. "Just one more thing before we both pass out. What are the next steps with Meagan and Rossi?"

She looks sad again and I regret my question but I had to ask.

"I'm going to talk to David in the morning. I wanted to wait so that I could think about it more and talk with you."

"At this point, I want to talk with David with you."

"Sidney!" she objects but I hold up my hand. "This isn't what's happened in the past, I promise babe. I have complete faith in your abilities. This situation is because of me as much as you so it's only right that I be there to talk with David. It's going to affect me too."

She sighs but slowly nods. I stand and help her up with me. We walk arm in arm to the bedroom where Anna goes directly to the bathroom. I strip down to my shorts and hang up my suit. By then, Anna comes back into the room in a Pens tee shirt that I quickly notice has my number on it. The moment Anna sees that I notice the tee shirt, she turns bright red and shrugs. She's so cute that I decide to let her off the hook rather than teasing her and use the bathroom myself. It's incredibly sweet that she's left out a new tooth brush for me.

When I go back into the bedroom, Anna is sitting up in bed worrying her hands in her lap. She doesn't even look up when I climb in beside her.

"We have to tell your parents" she says softly. "We may have to tell David or legal all of it and we can't be telling anyone else without your parents knowing."

I take her hand and kiss her fingertips.

"You're right" I agree. "We'll do it tomorrow. We can meet for lunch after practice if your schedule is clear."

"I'll make it clear if not" she says with less fragility and more strength in her voice.

"Ok."

I slide under the covers and open my arm for her to slide down beside me. I love the way her fingertips lightly play over my chest as she snuggles against me. It feels right and, surprisingly after such a stressful day, I easily fall asleep.

Anna

With Sidney breathing deeply, clearly falling asleep quickly, I feel safe and loved in his arms. It doesn't completely negate my concern and fear over Meaghan. One thing keeps going over and over in my mind: was Meaghan the original 'informant' about the abortion two years ago and, if so, how did she find out? Our Pen's internship hadn't started so I didn't even know her then. Besides, I went to New York to get it done and …

Fuck! New York City!

"Sidney" I softly call to see how deeply he's sleeping.

He doesn't respond so I debate waking him up and decide I have to do it.

"Sidney" I say louder and shake his shoulder.

"Hmm, yeah, what?" he says as he opens his eyes and tries to focus.

I reach over to the bedside lamp and turn it on low while Sid sits up and comes fully awake.

"What's wrong?" he asks insistently.

"I'm fine" I tell him. "I know that you just fell asleep but I think that I know what might have happened."

He rubs his hand over his face and gives his head a shake.

"Ok, what happened with what?" he asks.

"Meaghan is from New York. She went to private schools and her life was basically Gossip Girls."

"Alright but I have no idea what that means."

"Ok, she knew the richest of the rich girls and, knowing her, she also knew where all of the bodies were buried. Anyway, the clinic I went to is in the City and well known for discretion in that circle. The New York Governor's daughter had even used them and that's how I found out about the place."

"I get that" he says. "Did you see Meaghan when you were at the clinic?"

"No, I didn't see anyone expect those who work there."

"So how would Meaghan have known?"

"I don't know but it's possible."

"So let's assume she knew" he says yet still looks skeptical. "We'll also assume that she told someone in the press, that's plausible because the news corresponded with when she went to the Rangers. Where it breaks down for me is that no reporter, not even the original one, disagreed with your story after you were interviewed. You told the press that you got pregnant years before when you were younger. How come no one ever came after you about the timing?"

"I don't know" I admit.

"It's a long shot babe" he tells me. "A real long shot."

"I know it is but I feel that it's right."

Sid sighs and says "I do too."

"Really?"

"That bitch would do anything to get back at you. The details may not make sense yet but she's the first person I thought of when you said that someone is feeding Rossi for a second article."

"What if she knows that it was yours? What if she was waiting to see if we got back together?"

"Now you're really stretching it. Do you really believe that she would wait for two years to see if, on the most remote chance, we got back together and then she could release the rest?"

"Yeah, that's a big stretch on top of many big assumptions" I agree.

"It stills feel right though, doesn't it?"

It's my turn to sigh "yeah."

Sid yawns and looks at his watch.

"We really have to stop having conversations in the middle of the night. Come on, let's get some sleep and we can figure the rest out tomorrow" he tells me and settles back against the pillows.

I turn off the light and then settle back in his arms. This time we both fall asleep easily even though I'm more concerned than ever.

My alarm softly rings and I grab my phone to turn it off quickly. From the faint light in the room, I can see that Sid is still asleep. He needs it after both a practice and game last night, so I quietly slip out of bed and dress in my work out clothes. I walk to the hotel gym while reviewing the emails that came in overnight. Doesn't anyone sleep?

David has agreed to meet with me in the afternoon to discuss our new findings. Pat has asked to meet with me, in a professional capacity, to discuss next steps in this never ending news cycle. In most cities, and with most athletes, a story like that might never be written. If it was, then it would quickly fade away. When it's the best player in the world, in one of the greatest hockey cities, and with an athlete who is almost pathological about keeping his private life private, it has legs to walk for days.

I respond to Pat agreeing to meet and then turn on my music and run. It takes a lot of focus but I manage to stop thinking about the shit storm flying around us right now and focus on putting one foot after another on the treadmill to run until my lungs might explode. When I'm done, I notice that I've run the same distance but have shaved ten percent off of my usual time. No wonder I'm so tired.

Pushing away the fatigue and focusing on the endorphins, I shower, dress and write a note for Sid to let him know I've gone into Consol. I forgo breakfast so that I don't wake him and wake through crisp fall air to the office.

As usual, the place is empty. I'm usually the first person in the office but it takes even longer for others to come in after a game night. The communications team is writing and posting so late that it's almost morning when their done. Anyone working directly with players has stayed late the night before and won't be seen this early either. Actually, the only guys who are probably here is the equipment staff and they'll have coffee. I definitely need some after only a short night's sleep.

I don't see any of the guys downstairs but I follow my nose to the coffee. It's hot and I know it will be strong.

"The one on the left is the high octane" Dana says to me as he walks around the corner.

"You guys don't mind if I steal some?" I ask.

"I won't tell if you don't."

I chuckle.

"Thanks" I reply, pour a cup and take a sip. It is strong and perfect. "I've always meant to ask you something Dana. You guys almost never get more than four hours asleep in a row unless we're on a plane trip longer than that. How do you guys do it?"

"What time were you in bed last night?" he asks.

"Um, I think 2am."

"It's 7:30am now" he looks at his watch. "So you probably got up at 6am. That means you only had four hours of sleep too."

I smile at him.

"Ok, you're right. But you have to admit, I do get more sleep than you guys do."

"We manage to grab time here and there if we don't get a full night. "

He pulls out his phone and begins to scroll through screens. When he finds something he was looking for, he holds it up to me. It's a picture of Dana drinking out of the Stanley Cup being held by Sidney.

"I've been gifted with this experience twice in my life. That makes everything we do worth it" he tells me.

I have to smile at him. It doesn't matter what your position is with the Pens, everyone feels a part of Cup wins and the smile on his face tells me that he's proud of his part.

"You're a good man Dana" I touch his arm and turn to go back upstairs.

"Anna" he says and I turn around. "I may be out of line, but, um, I hope you know that everyone who matters thinks the whole thing is bullshit."

I don't have to ask what 'the whole thing' is because I know he's referring to the Rossi article.

"Thank you Dana."

He smiles and we both turn to get on with our day.

It takes me some time to focus on my email. I keep thinking back to what Dana said about winning the Cup making everything you have to go through to get it worth it. Maybe that's how I should think about Sidney. We've both been through a lot, together and separate, but we're together now and on our way to a happy life together. Does that make everything it takes to get there worth it? I can't answer that question because I feel like I'm still in the eye of the storm but I'll have to remember to think about it later.

I return to my email and decide to forward all of the press requests for me personally to Adam. It will be better if I'm not the one to engage reporters even if it is to say 'no comment.' The minute I say anything, I'm giving them the opening to ask more questions of me as a person and not as a Penguin's representative.

"So I see that you're delegating" I hear Adam say as he walks in my office.

"You're early" I tell him.

"I thought it needed to be an early morning."

I gesture for him to sit down and take the coffee he offers me.

"Yeah, it's going to be a long day too" I tell him.

"Did you tell Sid about you-know-who?"

"Yeah I did" I reply and then debate how much of the rest that I can tell him. "Adam, you know that there are things that I can't tell you and I'm very appreciative that you respect that decision. You should know that I think it was Meaghan who leaked the abortion two years ago. I don't have facts, and there are reasons for me to think that which I can't mention, but I really believe it was her."

"Of course it was the bitch" he agrees and takes a sip of his coffee while I stare dumbfounded at him. "She is a manipulative and unscrupulous bitch who was and still is incredibly jealous of you. She had some delusion of coming to the Pens and making Sid fall in love with her. It was delusional but she believed it and that's one of the reasons she was so nasty to you. I don't know what happened to make her leave but I know it had something to do with that jealousy. Anyway, I've been keeping an eye on her as we work on the Winter Classic in case she decides to do something stupid again."

He pauses for a moment, moves the cup half way up to his lips and then stops. His mouth opens wide for a full minute.

"I realize you probably can't tell me what it is Anna; but, does she know more shit that she can feed Rossi? Is there another, maybe even bigger, shoe to drop?"

I can't speak so I simply nod. Adam slams down his coffee on my desk and begins to stalk around my office. I've never seen him quite this wound up before and it's unsettling. He stops in the middle of the room with one hand on his hip and the other he uses to gesture wildly around the room.

"She will not get away with this" he tells me indignantly. "She may be from New York City but I'm from Chicago and I'll cut the bitch!"

For the first time in days, I find myself laughing, hard, and it only grows harder and uncontrollable when Adam keeps waving his hand and talking about what he's going to do to do her. It is quite a show.

"Adam, you'll do no such thing" I tell him. "You will continue to work with her on the Winter Classic, nicely."

"While you figure out how to take her out?"

"Oh year I will. She's from New York and you're from Chicago, but I'm from the south. We smile and offer you sweet tea and all the while"

"You're finding a way to cut the bitch?" Adam finishes.

"No, but we will figure things out."

We both laugh now. It's only when we stop that I bring the conversation back to our serious next steps

"I'll be meeting with David today and will tell him what we've found out. My counsel will be that we continue with 'no comment' until or unless something changes and then we'll revisit what we should do" I tell him. "I don't expect David to disagree."

"What else are you going to 'counsel'?"

"What do you mean?" I ask but think that I know.

"Rossi has nothing to hold over our heads now like he did when Sid decked him. I'm positive that you're going to suggest something be done with the Trib."

He's too smart not to figure that out. Shit. I don't want to go down that road with Adam since it will walk an ethical line if we decide to do it so I simply smile.

"Ok, I get it, you can't talk about it. Fine" he tells me.

"Let's talk about the day" I say and we dig into the day's schedule.

The rest of the morning goes well and I get a lot done since I'm still staying away from the press. I can't go down to ice level so I stay in my office and review budgets for the second half of the season. Wow, it's almost Christmas.

I only know that it's close to lunch time because I get a text from Sid.

'Lunch in your office? Might be better than restaurant'

He's right about the restaurant but the office doesn't feel right either. We're about to have a very personal conversation with his parents and we need privacy for it.

'Let's walk to my hotel and have lunch in my room' I text him.

'Great idea, meet you at side door at 1pm?'

'See you then xo'

That gives me about twenty minutes to take care of a few last minute things before lunch. It's hard to keep my focus though as my mind keeps straying to lunch and the conversation we're going to have. This is the last thing that we have to tell Sid's parents before everything is completely out within the family; well, in the Crosby family at least. My family doesn't even care enough to want the truth.

With five minutes until I meet them, I walk through the intern's bullpen and stop at Adam's desk.

"I'm going out for lunch" I tell him. "I may be a while. Can you hold down the fort?"

"Of course" he tells me and then lowers his voice. "Is everything ok?"

I take a deep breath and reply "I'll let you know after lunch."

He pats my arm and I resume on my way to meeting the Crosbys. Sidney smiles and gives me a quick kiss when I arrive.

"Hi babe" he says.

"Hi."

I turn to his parents and both Trina and Troy hug me in turn.

"Sidney says that you want to have lunch at your hotel?" Trina says.

"We wanted to go somewhere where we don't have to cook but we can also be alone" I tell her.

I sense that Trina knows that we want to talk to them in private so she smiles and we make small talk during the short walk to my hotel. Thankfully the walk is short.

The staff is setting up lunch as we walk in the door to my room. Unsure what everyone would want, I ordered a few dishes family style for us to share. Quickly, everything is set up and we're alone eating lunch.

I fill my plate but can't eat since I'm so nervous about the conversation we're about to have and could very well puke if I manage to swallow anything.

Sid and I talked about how to tell his parents and agreed that I would tell them my part of the story and then he would jump in to tell the rest.

"Um, Trina, Troy, clearly we wanted to talk to you alone" I say and have to take a long drink of my water since my mouth goes instantly dry. "What I want to tell you about happened almost three years ago.

It was a party at the end of the season when the Rangers won the series in straight games and everyone knew that the management and coaching staff was going to get fired. Anyway, Lauren Lemieux brought me to the party since I was in town interviewing for the internship with the Pens. Only a very few people know that Sid and I met that night."

I stop there and take another drink of my water. Sid's hand squeezes my knee slightly under the table in support and I continue.

"It's not something either of us have every done but we met that night and had sex" I thought it would be easier if I just said it out straight. I doesn't feel easier. "That's the only time that Sid and I were in the same room until the season began. I guess you could call it a one night stand. Anyway, a few weeks later, I was back at home and I realized that I missed my period."

I say the last sentence on one huff of breath and try to gather my courage for the last bit of the story. Everyone has stopped eating and their eyes are on me. At the worst possible time, right now, my eyes are drawn to Trina's gold cross around her neck.

"Yes, I was pregnant and yes I had an abortion" I say and then look down at my hands.

I wait for an eruption or a million questions but they don't come. The silence becomes too much to take so I look up to see that the Crosby's aren't staring at me. Both of them have eyes directly on Sidney.

"This is what you wouldn't tell us about when you broke up" Trina says softly to Sidney.

"Yes" Sid replies.

"This is what you have been hiding for three years?"

"Yes" he says again.

"You could have told us Sidney. You can tell us anything and have done so in the past. Why not now?"

Sidney sighs and now he's surprisingly in the hot seat.

"Mom, it wasn't just mine to tell. Anna and I broke up and the abortion wasn't really the reason for it so I didn't tell you. I'm sorry."

"I understand your reasoning Sidney but it was wrong not to tell us. We are your family and we go through everything together, supporting each other, helping each other. I thought you would have learned after the concussion how much we need each other. There is absolutely no reason for you to go through things alone."

"Mom, I"

"I'm not finished Sidney" she cuts him off. "It's not just about you. When you're in pain, your father and I are in pain too Sidney. This isn't just about you. For the last two years your sister, your father and I have gone through everything too. Only we didn't know why."

Sid's eyes are wide and I can see that he's stunned by his mother's words. I have to admit that I'm pretty stunned too. It never even occurred to me until that lunch where Taylor told me how difficult the last two years were to the Crosby family. Seeing Trina express it now reaffirms all of Taylor's words and drives home the pain that his mom and dad were in. Maybe they are still in pain.

"I'm so sorry mom. I guess all I can say is that I'm very sorry and clearly wasn't thinking about how everything was affecting you guys" he says. "It was horrible, I mean it was crazy, oh shit I don't know what I'm saying."

I can hear the torture in his voice and apparently his mom does too because she stands, walks over to him and pulls Sid into her arms. Even though Sid is sitting, Trina is so short that his head still rests on her shoulder. I feel tears fill my eyes when I hear Sid sniff. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Troy wipe at his cheek and a tear slips down my own. This family loves each other so much and I almost ruined it.

"It's entirely my fault" I tell them. "I'm the one who had the abortion, Sid didn't know until months later, and I'm the one who lied to him about it. He only found out when the press reported it and apparently that was my fault too. I'm so sorry to have done this to your family. You've all been so great and understanding and" I can't finish because I've started sobbing.

I crumble into myself and can't stop the sobbing that wracks my body. I brought all of this pain to this family that I've come to love so much. I startle when I feel male hands pull me up and into his arms. I've forgotten that Troy was here since Trina's been doing all of the talking but it's his comfort that sooths me so that I stop crying.

"Don't be blaming yourself Anna" he whispers to me. "This was a bad situation and you dealt with it the only way that you knew how. We know what your family situation was like and we know what you went through."

"You must hate me" I say into his chest.

"Why?" Troy asks and pulls back so that we can look at each other.

"I had an abortion!" I tell him. "You're Catholic and I had an abortion."

"Oh" is all he says and turns us toward Trina.

Sid and Trina are now standing and Sid has his arm around his mother. Trina takes a deep breath, then pulls away from Sid and walks to stand in front of me.

"You're right Anna" she says softly. "I am Catholic, we are Catholic, and we raised our kids religiously too. As Troy said though, we understand your family situation and the position you were in. Besides, we would never impose our values on anyone else, ever. We can disagree with what you did and still understand it and have empathy for you. Does that make sense?"

Tears are freely flowing down my face now and I definitely can't speak so I simply nod. Trina tilts her head, gives me a small smile and pulls me into her arms. When she enfolds me into her embrace that's the last piece that breaks the dam and I let loose. Trina rubs my back as I cry on her.

Finally, I'm all cried out and pull away from her. Trina wipes my cheeks and then hands me a tissue from her pocket. It's such a mom thing to do, having the tissue ready, and I know my mother never would.

"Ok?" Trina asks.

I nod and then look up at Sid when he walks to my side and kisses me lightly on the lips first and then my forehead.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" I ask and look around at everyone.

I go to the washroom and see the damage the crying has done on my face and hair. It take me a few minutes to pull myself together but when I'm finally ready I go back to the living area. Sidney is sitting at the table alone eating. His almost empty plate tells me how long that I've been gone.

"Where are your parents?" I ask.

"I talked a little more with them and mom gave me more shit" he says and shrugs. "Since we're having dinner tonight, they thought they would give us some privacy. We still need to go back to Consol and talk with David anyway."

"Right."

"The only thing we need to talk about before that meeting is what to do about Meaghan" Sid says.

"I think that we need to wait and see what happens. There is no way to do damage control if we don't know what the damage will be. We could make it worse."

"I get it babe but I think we shouldn't wait."

"We shouldn't wait?" I ask.

"In fact, not only should we not wait, we should go on the offensive and fuck both her and Rossi" he says with a great deal of venom. "It's time to deal with this shit rather than letting it happen to us."

"I don't know Sidney. I'm very unsure of going on the offensive when I don't know what the battle is about."

"I'm saying that I don't give a shit about the battle because I want to end the war."

I've never seen him this pissed off and I know that this can't be coming to him off the top of his head. He's been thinking about this for a while now. Oh shit, I'm so stupid.

"Is that why Pat is here?" I ask rhetorically. "He's here, with your parents, so that we can go on the offensive. I heard that Mario is back in the city early from meetings in New York too."

Sid simply smiles. Oh boy. This is going to get ugly … and good.


	50. Chapter 50

Anna

As I listen to the phone ringing, I begin to second guess my decision to call my mother. It's been on my mind since the Crosbys came to town and I spoke with Trina. They personify how important family is and, especially with my father gone, I want to have a closer relationship with my own. It can't be too late. Maybe we can use the opportunity of Sid and me getting back together and moving forward in our relationship to deepen the relationship I have with my mother and sister. Maybe seeing how close the Crosbys are will help my mother see the kind of relationship we could have if we both try.

"Hello?" my mother answers the phone.

"Mother, how are you?" I ask.

"I'm well Annabelle and how are you?" she answers formally.

"I'm well too."

Now what? I didn't think this through. Unless there's something to specifically discuss, my mother and I haven't spoken on the phone just to 'chat' ever.

I continue "I wanted to talk to you about Christmas mother. Have you made plans?"

"Of course I have" she responds. "I'm going to spend it with your aunts and their families. Your sister is flying in too. I'm so grateful that she's able to take time away from her very busy schedule."

I guess shopping in Europe can make someone very busy.

"I was hoping that you might consider coming to Pittsburgh this year" I tell her. "We only have a few days off for Christmas so Sid's family is coming here for the holidays. I thought it would a good opportunity for you to meet and get to know each other."

"Whatever for?" she asks.

I don't have an immediate response for her because I'm still processing her question. She's actually asking me why she should meet, and get to know, the Crosbys like it would never cross her mind to do so. It didn't escape me that she invited my sister for Christmas but didn't so much as tell me what they are doing never mind asking if I wanted to attend.

"Mother" I begin and take a quick breath to even out my tone. "Sid and I are planning a future together and we would like our families to meet."

"Annabelle, I can't keep up with the men in your life. You make your own decisions that suit you with no consideration of others. Why would I encourage this behaviour? This Christmas, I will be in Georgia with the family as I've planned. As you said, you only have a few days off so it makes sense for you to stay in Pittsburgh. Oh, dear, I need to go. Goodbye Annabelle."

The phone disconnects and I'm left staring at it in my hand while I sit at my desk shaking my head. After Trina was so kind and loving, I thought that I should give my mother a call and ask her to come to Christmas. I had thoughts of our families sitting in Sid's family room and sharing stories of little Sid and little Anna, embarrassing us both, and building a new relationship with my mother and sister.

It's in this exact moment, one that I'll always remember, that I figure it out. I may be successful and more confident but I'm still behaving like I did two years ago. I look for the solution that is the least disruptive to others. I take responsibility for things that I know logically aren't my fault. I try desperately to please a mother who will never approve of me. I keep trying to build a relationship with a woman who wants nothing to do with me. The definition of insanity comes to mind: doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. This must stop.

I'm with the man I love and doing a job that I love. The Crosby's have welcomed me into their family and I feel accepted by them. Taylor hasn't completely come around but she will. This is a happy time and I'm behaving like sky is falling and playing defense even when there is not offense coming at me. I'm done.

Earlier in the day, I told Sid that I would be working. He and his family were going to have dinner with the Lemieuxs so I said to go without me. My watch tells me that they probably haven't even sat down to dinner. Before I can reconsider my actions, I text Sid.

'Can you come to Consol?'

A few seconds later he responds.

'Is everything ok?'

Oops 'yes, everything is fine, I have a surprise. Can you come? It's important.'

There's a brief pause then he responds.

'I'll be there in thirty minutes.'

That doesn't give me much time. Shit, I wore a skirt today too. I move quickly and get to ice level in record time where I search for the equipment guys. There's usually one of them around.

"Anna?"

I hear my name and turn to find Dana. Thank God.

"Dana, I'm so glad you're here. Can you help me with something please?"

I explain my plan and Dana progressively smiles more broadly as I lay it out. He agrees to help me and we go to the storage room first. Dana finds me one of Sid's tee-shirts and warm up jackets. He also finds a pair of the pants Sid wears under his uniform. He wears them tight so I should be able to roll the bottoms and they'll fit. I change and have just finished when my phone buzzes.

'I'm in your office. Where are you?' reads Sid's text.

'Sorry, meet me in the locker room.'

'Ok'

I run there to make sure everything is set up and Dana is at Sid's stall.

"I've got them both here" he says and points to the floor. "Do you need anything else?"

"Um, I don't think so."

"Ok. Oh, I had them turn the lights on for you too" he tells me.

"Thanks, I didn't think about that."

"I'll be leaving in about ten minutes. You guys can just leave everything here and I'll take care of it in the morning."

I take Dana by surprise when I give him a quick hug and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you Dana."

"You trying to move in on my girl?" Sid says from the doorway.

"Ha, be glad I'm taken or I'd give you a run for your money with this one" Dana says back. "Have fun" he tells me and then leaves Sid and I alone.

As Sid walks toward me, he says "nice outfit. Ok, what's going on here."

"I'm sorry I pulled you away from dinner."

"She made her famous roast beef too."

"I'll make it up to you" I tell him and wink.

"So what am I doing here?"

"We haven't had our date this week."

"Our date?"

"Yes, our skating date" I tell him.

Slowly, Sid smiles and pulls me to him for a quick kiss.

"You want to have a date tonight?" he asks.

I point to our skates.

"Yep."

Sid chuckles and says "ok then. Let's skate."

I sit and Sid helps put my skates on and rolls up my pants. When I'm ready, Sid pulls on his own skates and then we walk hand in hand to the ice.

"Let me try it" I say before he can help me onto the ice.

"Ok but let me get on first." He steps onto the ice and then turns a few feet away from me. "Alright now you but slowly."

I step onto the ice while holding the boards and don't let go until both of my feet are firmly on the slippery surface. I know I'm grinning like an idiot for not falling but it's the first time I've been able to do it by myself.

"Good job. Now take a stride towards me" Sid says. "Just like we did last time."

I let go of the boards and glide towards Sid as he taught me; right foot first and the left until I reach Sid and grab his arms.

"I did it!" I say and celebrate a little too much.

Sid grabs me before I can tumble to the ice.

"Oops, sorry" I tell him.

"That was good, the first two steps at least, so let's try more."

When I'm steady on my feet, Sid skates to centre ice and stops directly on the dot. Oh oh, I've never skated that far without his help.

"You can do it" Sid encourages me as if he's reading my mind.

Buoyed by Sid's confidence, I hold my arms out for balance and then push off with my right foot, then my left, right and left. I hold my celebration in check until I'm completely stopped in front of Sid.

"I did it!" I throw my arms around his neck and Sid twirls me around.

"You did great" he says and puts me back onto the ice slowly. "Let's do it again."

This time Sid skates to where the net usually is and stops in the crease. Wow, he thinks I can skate that far. Is he serious? If he thinks I can do it then I guess I can. Slowly, I push off with my right foot and then carefully alternate between left and right until I run directly into Sid who catches me.

"You're a natural" he tells me.

Sid takes my hand in his and turns.

"Let's go around" he tells me.

Before I can argue, he's pulling me with him around the edge of the ice. At first I focus on staying upright while Sid pulls me. I'm surprised that I can do it much easier than the first time we skated and it gives me confidence. Soon I'm skating beside him without needing his help. It's nice to simply hold his hand as we skate around together. It gets a little dicey as we turn but Sid helps me and pulls me around the corners.

"We'll learn how to cross over another day" he tells me.

I nod even though I have no idea what a crossover is and I don't ask because I'm focused on staying on my feet; left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. After a few times around, Sid stops us by the Pen's bench.

"Want to learn how to stop?" he asks.

"You mean I can't just keep running into you?" I ask.

Sid rolls his eyes and pulls me into his arms. I sink slowly into the kiss when our lips meet. This is what we need, more fun in our lives, and I'm determined that this is our future. When we pull away from each other, Sid looks down at me quizzically.

"I can almost hear you thinking" he tells me.

"Yeah" I reply and try to gather my thoughts to explain my earlier revelation to him. "Sid, I talked to my mother earlier and it was predictably a disaster."

"I'm so sorry babe" he says and strokes my cheek.

"I'm not, really, because I had a revelation. I realized that I'm tired of making decisions and acting so that everyone else is ok. I can't live for my mother or continually seek her approval. I can't sit back and wait to see what someone else might do so that I can figure out how to make it all better. It's not my responsivity to make everything better for everyone. I mean, it kind of is for work, but I'm not talking about my job. I'm talking about my life, our life, together. I'm so tired of the drama and downers that seem to come at us left and right. I've decided that I'm done. The decisions I've made in the past are just that, in the past, and I can't keep trying to make amends for them. The only person I needed understanding and even forgiveness from is you and we've worked that out. Even your parents have accepted everything. It's time to stop it and live the life we want. I want to be happy so I've decided to be."

When I look up, I realize that I've skated slightly away from Sid while I've been talking, so I glide closer. Of course I only stop when I bump into him. I'm surprised to see Sid smile widely at me.

"What?" I ask.

"I've been thinking some of the same things only I wasn't sure how to say it. Oh, not about you but about me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells being concerned all the time if I'm doing the right thing, saying the right thing, it's exhausting. It's part of our job of course but that doesn't mean we have to carry that over into our personal life. The past few days have been brutal. I wonder if I'm doing enough to support you but I don't want to do too much because that led to me decking Rossi last time. I don't want to put more pressure on you but I want to help. It's exhausting and very negative, you're right. We could do with a little more happy."

I pull his face down to kiss me. The kiss immediately heats and Sid lifts me so that I'm sitting on the boards and he's nestled between my legs. We're both lost in our kiss and focused only on each other. When we finally do pull apart, we're both left trying to catch our breath and slow our heartbeat. Sid kisses the tip of my nose and then pulls back so that we can look at each other.

"Was it horrible with your mom?" he asks.

"Yeah" I admit. "I asked her to come here for Christmas and she didn't understand why I would ask. 'Whatever for Annabelle' were her exact words. She didn't understand why I'd want her to meet your parents and get to know all of you better. It's finally over. I don't owe her anything more. She doesn't need me to take care of her because there is a lot of family around that she feels more comfortable with. There is never going to be any pleasing her so I'm done trying."

"Ok" he says softly. "Is that why you wanted our date tonight?"

"Partly" I tell him. "I'm also tired of feeling shitty. I worry and lament and feel bad all the damn time. It's crazy. I'm with the man I love doing a job that I love. This is the best time of my life so why am I letting anyone take that away from me."

"Makes sense to me" he replies and kisses me again.

"Good. So, um, what do we do next?"

He pauses for a moment and looks unsure.

After taking a deep breath, Sid says "you come home."

It takes me a moment but I realize that he wants me to move back into the house. A million thoughts flash through my head. The overwhelming one being that we've done this before, too quickly, and it broke apart. That thought is quickly followed by one that tells me that everything is different and I've decided to be happy.

"Nothing would make me happier Sidney."

Sid smiles widely and kisses me before pulling me into his arms and twirling us around the ice.

"Put me down you crazy man" I yell at him.

He does but pulls me back into his arms and kisses me until I'm breathless.

"I love you" he says and I watch his eyes soften.

"I love you" I reply and peck at his lips. "Come on, I'm not done with you yet. I need to learn how to stop."

"Ok."

Sid demonstrates how to stop and it looks the same as when you ski; but, it looks nothing like how he stops.

"How come that's not how you stop?" I ask.

Sid chuckles "let's try this first. When you're more experienced then we'll do the way I stop." I pout. "Do you want to stop or fall on your gorgeous ass?"

"I've noticed that you're rather fond of that part of my anatomy."

"Especially in those tight skirts. Oh, and jeans too. Hey, you haven't worn jeans in a while."

"Funny man."

"I'm not being funny, I'm serious. You really should wear jeans more often."

"Sid, focus, please. Even if I'm using the easy way to stop, you need to pay attention so that I don't land on the ass you love so much."

"Ok, ok." He skates away from me. "Let's go."

I crash directly into Sid the first time I try it.

"Try it a little sooner this time" Sid tells me.

"Ok."

Sid skates away and I try it again. This time I'm able to stop but I lose my balance at the last minute and tumble into Sid's arms.

"Better" he tells me and moves away for me to try it again.

We do this a few more times and I get better and better each time.

"You're doing great babe" Sid says when I finally do it perfectly.

"Ok, I think that's enough for the day. It definitely takes different muscles to skate than it does to run and they're telling me loudly that they aren't used to it."

Sid laughs "ok. Come on, let's grab some dinner and then go home. What?"

He must notice the look on my face.

"Your parents are at the house" I tell him.

"Yes."

"And you want me to stay there while your parents are there?"

"Yes" he says. "I think they are very aware that we sleep together."

I chuckle.

"Ok, I get it; but, I want to make sure that they won't think, I don't know" I say.

How do I tell Sid that I don't want his parents to think that I'm a slut?

"Anna, they know that we're together. It may be odd but it will be ok."

"Ok."

We walk back to the locker room and Sid kneels in front of me to unlace my skates.

"I love how you do that" I tell him.

"Do what?"

"Take care of me."

"I thought that was what drove you crazy. In fact, didn't we fight over that once upon a time?"

"There's a difference between thinking that I can't do my job and taking off my skates."

I stroke his cheek and then lean down to kiss him softly.

"Ok" he says and continues.

"I should get changed" I tell him.

I'm still in his rolled up warm up pants, tee shirt and jacket.

"No, you look good. We'll get take out."

"Ok."

Sid takes his vibrating phone out of his jacket and frowns.

"Mom?" he answers.

He listens for a little while.

"Ok. We're at Consol now so we can be there in about twenty five minutes."

He listens again.

"Ok, bye."

"Is everything ok?" I ask when he disconnects.

"Yeah but she's asked for you and I to go over to Mario's. During dinner they figured out what to do about Rossi and the articles."

"Oh, ok. Let's go."

We stop at my office to pick up my purse and then we leave for the Lemieuxs.

Half way there, I look down at myself.

"Shit! I didn't change" I say.

"You look fine. Don't worry."

I'm about to ask him to turn around so I can go to the hotel when I stop. This is part of my problem. I'm always trying to put on the best image to control what people think of me and I need to stop this too.

"Ok" I tell him.

We arrive quickly and walk hand in hand into the Lemieux's home. I'm reminded that Sid lived here for years when he first came to Pittsburgh and he's still comfortable to go directly in. Even in my parent's home, where I lived, I would still ring the doorbell.

When we walk into the kitchen, I see the Crosby's, the Lemieux's and Pat Brisson. I guess everyone is here.

Sidney

Spending the evening with Anna skating at Consol was a huge surprise. Hearing her revelation and the decision she's made was even more surprising but definitely one that I agree with. We should both focus on the positive and being happy and the first step is Anna moving back in with me.

"Hi" I say as Anna and I walk into the kitchen.

Anna grips my hand a little tighter and greets the room too. My mom walks directly to Anna and gives her a hug.

"Glad you could come dear" she says to Anna.

Anna returns her hug and smiles.

Nathalie walks to the table with two plates full of food.

"You must be starving. Here, I reheated some dinner for you. Wine?" Nathalie asks.

Anna and I sit while Mario pours us both a glass of wine.

When he hands Anna hers, he says "nice outfit."

I expect Anna to apologize for wearing the Pen's gear. No one is supposed to wear a player's clothes except the player.

"Thanks" is all she says and smiles.

Wow.

We both dig into our dinner, I guess Anna is as hungry as I am, and everyone turns to Pat. I guess he's leading this plan.

"We've been talking about the situation with Rossi and the articles. The first article could be easily absorbed and didn't have suable material in it. We most likely won't be able to sue over anything that Rossi writes because he may be an asshole but he isn't stupid" Pat says. "He's written some rotten articles in the past, especially during Sid's concussion, and we've done nothing. At least he was writing about the game; but, this is personal and bordering on slander. The sole purpose is to sensationalize a personal matter of the Pen's employee and player. As long as what he says is true and vague, or can't be proven untrue, then there is nothing we can do legally to stop it."

Mario takes over from that point.

"Tomorrow morning, I'm having breakfast with Scaife, the publisher of the Trib, and we're going to discuss the repercussions of any further personal articles about Anna being written" Mario says.

Mario says it in a mild tone but I know he's pissed and Scaife is in for a rough breakfast meeting.

Pat continues.

"That only takes care of Rossi. If the content is coming from that girl you suspect, then she could simply go to another reporter or directly to the internet herself. I suspect she'll want to leak the information so that it doesn't point back to her. She's rising quickly in the Ranger's organization and she'd be fired immediately if it became public that she was gossiping in this way."

"Is she doing anything in conflict with the NDA she signed two years ago?" I ask.

"No" Mario says. "I had legal review it."

"The best solution with this girl is to convince her not to make any more accusations or allegations about Anna or you" Pat tells me. "Some might call it blackmail. We're going to call it 'convincing'."

"If she makes anything public then she'll lose her job?" I ask.

"Her entire career in PR" Pat replies. "It's a very small world and my agency has contacts in every industry in the US. Outside too. If it doesn't happen organically then I'll make sure it happens."

"Who is going to do this convincing?" I ask.

"I am."

We all look at Anna. It's the first thing that she's said since we sat down.

"No" I reply quickly.

Anna puts down her utensils and takes my hand.

"Sid, it has to be me."

"Um, no and why?"

"It can't be you or Mario or Pat. You're all too high profile and if it ever gets traced back to you then there could be legal repercussions. Your parents don't even know her. Plus, I think that I need to do it. Maybe it will be closure or maybe I just want to skewer the bitch. Regardless, I need to do it myself. Ok?"

I can see how important this is to her and, given our earlier conversation, I understand why.

"Ok" I agree.

Anna strokes my cheek and kisses me. We both turn red when we remember the others in the room.

"That was actually going to be our suggestion" Pat says. "It makes sense for it to be you Anna. Anyone seeing you would think that it's two friends getting together."

"Even if it makes sense, you need to be ok with doing it dear. No one will hold it against you if you don't want to" mom says to Anna.

Anna sits up straighter and turns to mom.

"Thank you Trina but I'm ok. In fact, I look forward to the conversation."

Mom smiles and we all turn back to Pat.

"We play the Rangers in two days so that gives you the opportunity while they're here" Pat tells Anna.

"Ok" Anna agrees and starts eating again.

Pat talks about more of the details and some of the options should the approach not work. We don't want to put all of our eggs in one basket so we need to have options.

"Are you ok?" I whisper in Anna's ear.

She turns, smiles and kisses me softly. That tells me everything I need to know.

"We need to get going" my dad says.

They took my car here so they can get themselves home.

He continues "would you like us to drop you off Pat?"

"That's so far out of your way" Pat answers.

"I can drop you Pat" I tell him. "I need to drive Anna back to the hotel too."

We all say goodbye and soon I'm at the hotel.

When Anna opens the car door, she turns back to me and says "I'll be five minutes." Then Anna and Pat disappear into the hotel.

I scroll through my phone and see a text from Tanger asking me to call him immediately. He sent it three minutes ago.

"Sid, where are you? How long will it take you to get to my house?" is how Tanger answers the phone.

He sounds panicked.

"I can be there in twenty minutes" I tell him. "Why?"

"Ok, I need to take Cath to the hospital. She's bleeding and might be losing the baby."

They've already had a miscarriage, years ago, so I know immediately why he's panicking.

"Oh God Tanger. Why don't I meet you at the hospital to save time? Then I'll take Alex back to your house."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Ok, I'll text you the info."

He disconnects before I can respond. I dial Anna.

"I said five minutes" she laughs as she answers.

"I need you down ASAP. Tanger has to take Catherine to the hospital and they need us to get Alex and look after him."

"On my way" she says and disconnects.

I start the car so that I'm ready to go when Anna gets here and she doesn't make me wait long. When we're under way, Anna asks me what's going on.

"Tanger said that he has to get her to the hospital because she's bleeding and might be losing the baby" I tell her.

"I hope that they are only being cautious. I know they've already had a miscarriage and it was a horrible time for them. I can't image what they're going through right now" Anna says.

My phone vibrates so I hand it to Anna.

"That's probably Tanger with the hospital details" I tell her.

Anna gives me the hospital information and it's fifteen minutes away. I speed hoping that I can make it in less time.

I get us there in record time and park in the emergency lot. As we walk into the hospital, I text Tanger and let him know that we're here. I'm surprised when I don't get a response but then Tanger is walking towards us with Alex in his arms.

Anna gives Tanger a kiss and then Alex, giving him a tickle too. Alex gives her a sleepy laugh. He probably doesn't understand what's going on.

I want to ask Tanger what's going on but I'm hesitant in front of Alex. Anna is quick to act and asks Alex if he'd like some apple juice. Alex looks at his dad, who tells him it's ok, and then explains that we'll be staying with Alex and he'll see him in the morning. After their goodbyes, Anna takes him in her arms and they go down the hall.

"How is she?" I ask when Anna and Alex are out of earshot.

"The technician will be in soon to give her an ultrasound. We just got here."

Tanger rubs his hand over his face and I can tell he's frustrated. There can be little more frustrating than feeling helpless to help those you love; especially your wife.

"What can I do?" I ask.

Tanger gives me a small smile.

"Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do here. If you can take Alex home, even your place, then I know that we don't have to worry about him. That will help Cath a lot especially."

"We can take him to your place Tanger. He'll feel better in his own routine, right?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Then that's where we'll go. My folks are still in town and they can look after him tomorrow during practice so you don't have to worry about anything, ok?"

"Alright, thanks man."

We do the handshake-half hug as men do and he gives me his house keys and gate code. He returns to Cath and I walk down the hall to find Anna and Alex. I find them in the kid's waiting area where Alex is sitting on her lap drinking apple juice. Anna looks up at me with a forced smile which I easily recognize because I have the same one on my face.

"Ok kid" I say to Alex. "I have daddy's keys so we're going to your house. Anna and I will stay with you, ok?"

"Where's mommy?" he asks with a quiver in his voice.

I don't know how to answer his question or what is even appropriate for a kid to know. Thankfully Anna steps in.

"Mommy is seeing a doctor with daddy" Anna tells him. "The doctor will give mommy some medicine so that she can get better. Daddy is staying to keep her company and Uncle Sid and I are going to keep you company."

"But I want to stay will mommy and daddy!" he gets more distressed.

Anna strokes his hair and kisses his forehead.

"They would love for you to stay but little boys like you need sleep. This way you can sleep tonight and then see mommy and daddy tomorrow" she tells him.

I watch as Alex considers what Anna's said.

"But I want mommy" Alex says in a small voice.

Anna cuddles him to her, strokes his back and kisses the top of his head.

"I know you do" she says softly then pulls him away from her so that she can see his face. "But isn't it exciting to have a sleepover with Uncle Sid? I mean, when have you ever had a sleepover with Uncle Sid?"

Alex looks at Anna and then at me. Shit.

"Yeah, kid, we're going to have a sleepover" I tell him and smile.

"You're going to sleep over?" he asks.

"Yep" I tell him.

"In my bed?"

Ah, um.

"Sure" I tell him.

"Awesome" he smiles at me and then Anna.

"Then let's go" Anna tells him.

The three of us walk out hand in hand with Alex between us. I glance at Anna and she's trying to hold her laughter in. Yes, I'm sleeping with a six year old tonight rather than having sex with my very hot girlfriend. Not exactly how I thought the evening would go.

Alex quickly falls asleep in the back seat as we drive to the Letang's home.

"I'm going to call your parents" Anna tells me.

"Yeah, good idea. Let mom know we might need them tomorrow to watch Alex."

"Ok."

I listen while Anna explains the situation when my mom answers the phone. The conversation doesn't take long because we don't know much about how Catherine is doing.

When Anna disconnections, she says to me "your mom says she'll talk to us in the morning and see what the plan is for the day."

"Ok, good, he looked so helpless" I say softly.

Anna knows that I'm talking about Tanger. She takes my free hand in hers.

"I can't imagine how helpless he feels. I'm glad he called you so that they don't have to worry about Alex. Has he called her parents? His?"

"I don't know" I tell her. "I didn't get a lot of time to talk to him before he needed to get back to Cath."

We're silent the rest of the drive both lost in our own thoughts about the Letangs. When we arrive, I park in the driveway, hand the house keys to Anna and carry Alex inside. He stays asleep the whole way to his bedroom and even as I take off his shoes and tuck him into bed. He cuddles directly into his pillow and stays asleep.

Should I stay with him? I said that I'd sleep here with him. Shit. I know nothing about kids so I go to find Anna. The light spills out of what must be the master bedroom so I head there first. I find Anna stripping the bed lines.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I figured she must have bled in bed since Kris said that she was bleeding. She might have been tired and already in bed, I wanted to check the sheets. After a long night at the hospital, they definitely won't want to come home and have to change the sheets. God forbid she should lose the baby, I really don't want her to come home to see this in her bed."

Of course Anna would think that logically and be that compassionate. I walk over to the bed, kiss her quickly and then help her with the linens. When we're done, we go downstairs and Anna goes to the laundry room while I go to the kitchen. I look in the fridge and find a good bottle of white wine chilling. Ah, you can always count on Tanger. I'm pouring us each a glass as Anna walks into the room.

We both take a long drink and then sit at the breakfast bar.

"At least he doesn't have school tomorrow" Anna says. "I'm sure he has a regular routine but I have no idea how to send a kid to school."

Shit, I never even thought about school.

"You'd never know that you don't have kids" I tell her. "You were so good with him."

Anna just shrugs and takes another sip of wine.

"How many kids do you want?" I ask her.

I don't know who's more stunned at my question; Anna or me.

"Um, I don't know" she replies.

That gives me a very uneasy feeling.

"You do want kids, right?" I ask her.

"Oh, of course, yes Sid" she says and I relax again. "I have never thought about how many. How about you?"

"I want at least two" I tell her. "Maybe more if you're up for it."

Anna laughs and says "if I'm up for it huh? Why don't we start with one and see how that goes?"

Then it hits me: we're not just talking about having a future together; we're talking about the details of our life. Mmmm, maybe I should start looking at rings. Ok, no, I need to slow the fuck down. She's just agreed to move back in and we still have shit to figure out.

"There's a guest room beside Alex's" Anna says. "I'll sleep there and, if you're ok with it, I think you should sleep with Alex. This way, if he wakes, he'll see you there. I don't want him to wander down to his parent's bedroom and find it empty and I'm not comfortable sleeping in their room."

Sleeping with a six year old does not have much appeal; but, at least he has a queen bed so there's room for me.

"It's a good idea" I agree. "You know, I had other ideas for how this evening was going to end."

"If any of those ideas included sex while your parents were in the house, well, those ideas were never going to happen anyway."

I chuckle.

"Did you text Kris?" she asks.

"About what?"

"To tell him that we're at his place and Alex is asleep."

"Oh" I respond.

I didn't think of that so I send the text.

' home Alex asleep' I send

His response is immediate.

'great, thanks, he's ok?'

'yeah, fell asleep in car, didn't wake up'

'great'

'how's Cath?'

'ultrasound done, saw doctor, they're trying to stop labour, need to watch her tonight'

'so you're waiting' I text him.

'yeah, I guess, they're admitting her'

'can we do anything for you?'

'no, watching Alex is huge'

'ok, I'll text when we're up in the morning and we can plan for the day then' I text him.

'thanks Sid'

'welcome'

"Is he ok? How's Cath?" Anna asks.

"They did an ultrasound and she's definitely in labour although I don't know why an ultrasound would need to tell them that. Anyway, they're going to watch her overnight and reassess in the morning. I told him we'd connect in the morning about next steps and not to worry about Alex."

"He has enough to worry about" she says. "He's lucky to have such a good friend as you."

I shrug.

"He could have called Flower or Duper too."

"But he called you Sid. He knew that he could count on you."

"You too" I tell her. "I don't know what I would have said to the kid if you weren't there."

"You would have been fine."

"I would have had my mom with me" I laugh.

"And you would have been fine."

Anna yawns which has me yawning too.

"Time for bed I think" I tell her.

"At least I have my bag with me" she says.

"I guess you do. I have my stuff at the rink so I'll just shower and dress there."

We turn off the lights as walk upstairs together.

Anna stops and quietly opens Alex's bedroom door. The hall light falls over his face and I can see that he's fast asleep and still in the position I left him in. That gives me an idea.

Using my phone, I zoom in and take a picture of a sleeping Alex then send it to Tanger. He texts back a thank you.

"That was very sweet" Anna says as we enter the guest room.

I shrug.

We both undress. Anna has my Pens shirt with her to sleep in and I leave on my tee shirt and shorts. If I'm sleeping with Alex then I should probably keep more clothes on I guess. What the hell do I know about sleepovers with six year olds?

Anna uses the en suite bath and I use the one in the hall. When I'm finished, I wait for Anna on the bed scrolling through my phone. Pat copied me on an email to Anna asking to meet with her and discuss some details. He doesn't say details to what but we all know to what he's referring.

"I think you're supposed to be in the next room" Anna says as she comes back in the room.

She looks gorgeous and much younger. She's wearing only a tee shirt, hair in a ponytail and no make-up.

"You're so beautiful" I tell her.

I love watching her eyes soften as they do right now. It enhances her beauty and I can see how much she loves me.

Anna crawls up onto the bed and lies beside me with her head and hand on my chest.

"I love you" she says.

"I love you."

"Tomorrow morning, I'll wait until we know how Catherine is and what we're doing before I go into work. I sent Adam a message to go in a little earlier in case anything is needed. He can handle it."

"Oh, ok" I say.

She tilts her head so that she can look at me and says "is that ok?"

"Yeah, of course, I'm just surprised. I thought you'd still go in at your usual time."

It really didn't occur to me that Anna would change her schedule tomorrow morning. I thought that I'd be with Alex by myself and was even planning on taking him to my place so that mom can make us breakfast.

"Of course I'm staying Sid. Kris and Cath need us right now. Until we know how she's doing and when their families are coming in, if they are, then we're looking after Alex. Maybe they want him to go to the Fleury's or Dupuis' so that he has kids to play with and keep his mind occupied. Anyway, we'll figure it all out in the morning. Ok?"

"Ok" I reply and kiss her lips softly.

Anna shifts so that she can deepen the kiss and quickly she's on top of me and we're frantic. I can never have enough of this woman.

I think we both realize where we are and what we're doing so we pull away at the same time. Anna shifts and lowers her head so that it lies on my chest. She's so small I barely feel her weight on top of me.

"I think I better go into the other room" I say.

"Yeah, I think you better" Anna replies.

Neither of us move.

I chuckle and say "ok, shift, I really need to go."

Anna sighs and slides to lie at my side. I get up and then turn back to look at her. Fuck, she looks so fucking sexy lying on her side, my shirt hitched up so that her panties are visible and her long, shapely legs are bare.

"Goodnight" I say and get out of the room quickly hearing Anna chuckle after me.

I quietly slip into Alex's room and then into bed. The queen size gives me lots of room. Alex looks so small on one side of the bed clutching the pillow. He really is cute.

I must be more tired than I thought because I quickly fall asleep.

The next thing I'm aware of is have a warm breath breathing on my face. When I open my eyes, I see that Alex is sharing my pillow, still fast asleep, with his face only an inch from mine. I guess the kid travels in his sleep.

I shift slowly, as not to wake him, and grab my phone beside the bed. Its 7am. Anna will definitely be awake by now so I slip out of bed and go to the guest room. The bed is made and my clothes are folded. I dress and go downstairs.

"Good morning" Anna says as she's pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Here's a shake. I used Kris' protein stuff and some fruit I found in the fridge."

"Thanks babe" I take the shake and a long drink.

"I talked to Kris and Cath lost the baby. They couldn't stop her labour so they had to deliver the baby and they couldn't revive her."

"Cath?"

"Sorry, no, the baby was a girl. They couldn't revive the baby."

"Oh God" is all I can say.

'Yeah. Both of their parents are flying in this afternoon."

"How are they?" I ask.

"Catherine is healthy physically but a mess of course. Kris sounded like he was trying to keep it together and barely managing it. I wish there was something that I could do for them."

I feel equally useless so I walk over and pull Anna into my arms. We stand like that for a long while. Anna breaks the silence.

"At least four."

"Four what" I ask.

"Kids. I want at least four kids."

Oh, she's answering my question from last night.

"Let's start with one and see how we do" I repeat her words.

Anna chuckles.

"I peeked in on you guys when I woke up. I guess some time during the night Alex must have cuddled up beside you" Anna says.

"Yeah, I woke up with his hot breath in my face."

"It was cute."

"Yeah, well, I'm glad we have a California king here and in Cole Harbour."

"Too fit all of our kids?" she asks.

"Where are mommy and daddy?"

We both turn and see Alex standing the doorway in his pajamas and holding a stuffed penguin. Shit, I have no idea what to say to the kid.

"Good morning Alex" Anna says and slips out of my arms. "Can I have a morning hug?"

Alex gives her a shy smile and moves into her arms for a hug. When he moves back, Anna crouches so that they are eye to eye.

"Mommy and daddy are still at the hospital but they'll be home today for sure" Anna tells him. She must have spoken to Kris about it. "We're going to have breakfast together, you, me and Uncle Sid, and then we're going to take you to the Dupuis' so that you can play with Kody. I think he has a new game for his X-box and you can help him break it in, ok?"

"Wow, yeah" he says. "Can we go now?"

"We need to have breakfast first silly" Anna tells him.

"I'm not silly" he says and points to Anna. "You're silly."

"I'm not silly" Anna teases him and then points at me. "Maybe it's Uncle Sid who's silly."

Alex giggles "yeah, Uncle Sid, you're so silly."

Just like that we're all giggling and then making breakfast together. It's a preview for me of how life will be when Anna and I have a family of our own. It feels good.

My phone rings and it's Pat.

"Hey Pat" I answer.

"Hi, I haven't heard from Anna about meeting with me today and she's not here yet, which is really unlike her. Everything ok?" he asks.

"You're at Consol?"

"Yeah, Anna's always here by 7am and I thought we could connect before the world descends."

"She's here with me" I tell him. "One second."

I move down the hall so that Alex can't hear me talking. Anna nods as I leave knowing why I'm leaving the room and she diverts Alex so that he doesn't follow me.

"Ok" I tell Pat. "I just needed to get alone."

I tell Pat about Cath and Tanger going to the hospital and Anna and I staying with Alex. Pat also represents Tanger, and they're really close, so I also tell him that Cath lost the baby. We talk for a few more minutes before Pat brings the conversation back to the 'issue.'

"Would you tell Anna that we can catch up at some point today? I'm here all day" Pat tells me.

"Yeah, sure, I'll let her know. I want to be in on that conversation Pat. Anna and I are doing everything together as it relates to this Rossi bullshit. It saves a lot of updating later and allows us to support each other."

"Sounds like you guys are doing really well" Pat says.

"Yeah, we really are."

"I'm happy for you Sid. You deserve it."

"Thanks."

We talk about the schedule for practice and video today and then end our call.

When I enter the kitchen, Anna has Alex sitting at the breakfast bar eating eggs, toast and a mountain of fruit. I snatch strawberry from his plate.

"Hey, Uncle Sid, stop being so silly" he tells me.

"I can't help it" I say and sit beside him.

Anna places a plate of eggs and turkey bacon in front of me. Usually I only have my shake when I wake up and then I eat eggs before practice at the rink. She must think that we won't have time for me to eat before practice and she's probably right.

Anna walks around me so that she can sit in the empty chair beside Alex and I grab her for a quick kiss.

"Thank you" I whisper and kiss her again.

"Yucky!" Alex pronounces.

"You don't like kisses?" Anna asks as she sits beside him.

"No way, they're yucky" he tells her.

I see the gleam in her eye before she places kisses over Alex's cheek and neck. He giggles and tries to move away from her which puts him on my lap. This goes on for a few moments before Anna's phone rings. She gives me an 'I have to take this' look and leaves the room.

I remember what Tanger and Cath are going through and it sobers me quickly. Thankfully Alex doesn't notice because he's back in his own chair eating his eggs so I work on my own.

Anna comes back in shortly.

"It was your mom" she says. "I filled her in on the plan for the day. She's going to call Carole-Lyne to see if she wants some reinforcements having that many kids in the house."

"Good idea. I assume dad will come to the rink."

"Yeah, he'll be there after he drops off your mom."

This must be what it's like to have a family and play hockey; there are so many things to do and plan. It will be different and maybe difficult but so many of the guys do it. Look at Duper with four kids and how well he's managed.

"Sid, where did you go?"

I look at Anna "sorry. Thinking."

"Ok, can you take Alex upstairs to dress and brush his teeth? I'll clean up down here."

I look down and both Alex and I have finished our food. I must have been daydreaming longer than I thought.

"Ok, let's go kid" I tell him and then I chase him up the stairs.

Yeah, this is definitely what I want.


	51. Chapter 51

Anna

The morning has been crazy.

We dropped off Alex at the Dupuis' home where we met the Crosbys. Trina stayed with Carole-Lyn to help out and Vero was their too with her two girls. The house was quickly very loud and in complete chaos. It lifted my spirits to hear the children laughing and playing. It was like a salve after the sorrow of everything that happened the night before.

Before we left the Dupuis', I was able to pull Trina aside for a moment.

"Are you ok dear?" she asked the moment we were alone.

"Yes Trina, sorry, I am. I, um, I wanted to apologize for pulling Sidney away from dinner last night. It was important but I wasn't thinking about him leaving a family dinner to come down to Consol."

"Oh, that's ok Anna. We always have lots of family dinners and, from the look on Sidney's face, it must have been for a happy reason."

"Thanks Trina" I said. Since I had her alone for a moment, I decided to ask her something that I've been worried about. "Trina, Sid's asked me to move back into his house and I've said yes. I hope that doesn't make you and Troy uncomfortable especially since you stay there when you're in town. We'll all have an adjustment but I'm really hoping that you're ok with it."

"Oh, I'm so glad that you are moving in dear. You're right, it will be an adjustment, but we'll figure it out. Before Sidney bought the house, Troy and I would stay at the hotel he and I always stayed at before the games. Sometimes I think Troy is as superstitious as Sidney; anyway, when he bought the new house, I told Troy that I will be staying with my son and he can stay wherever he wants to stay."

I chuckle because it's just like Trina to be so no-nonsense.

"He decided to stay at the house?"

"Troy saw the error of his ways."

"Good and I'm glad you stay there when you visit. It's a great way for us to keep getting to know each other."

"I agree" she said and hugged me close.

"Anna!"

I heard Sid calling my name and Trina and I parted to find him. He and Troy were at the front door.

"Ready to go?" he asked me.

"Definitely" I replied.

We all said goodbye and then the three of us leave.

As we now drive to Consol, Sid and his father talk about the upcoming schedule and game. It gives me the thirty minute drive to review my email and take care of important ones. Thankfully, Adam is handling the early morning issues.

Sid sent a group message to the team last night to let them know about Kris and Catharine's loss and Mario messaged the front office and coaching staff. Adam is informing the PR team when they're all in. None of the reporters will ask about it during the media scrum after practice because they have respect for the players' personal lives and especially a core team member like Kris. Actually, ninety-nine percent of the reporters never write about the players' personal lives if it doesn't relate directly to the game or the player has made it public themselves. Rossi is in a bottom feeder all on his own usually. That reminds me.

"Has anyone heard about Mario's meeting this morning with the Trib's publisher?" I ask.

"He's probably still there" Troy tells me. "Mario said he'd come to the rink afterward."

"Oh, good, thanks."

They start talking again and I go back to my email.

"Anna?"

I look up and we're at Consol and Sid is outside of the car holding my door open.

"Sorry" I tell him and get out.

Sid and I walk hand in hand into the rink with Troy. As we get closer to the players' lounge, I can tell that the news has spread among the Pens' family. There's a sadness and mellowness to the air. Usually, we would hear laughter and joking in the morning but now there is only quiet conversations and nods from those we pass.

Outside of the lounge, at the elevators, we stop and I say goodbye to Sid and Troy. Sid kisses me softly.

"You ok?" he asks.

"About as ok as I can be" I reply. "Let me know if you hear from Kris, ok? Vero is going to let me know what Cath needs. I suggested we go grocery shopping for them since there's not too much in their fridge and her family is flying down."

"You have the time?"

"I'll make the time Sidney."

He smiles and kisses me again. Sid then digs into his pocket and hands me the Tanger's house key.

"In case they're not home yet."

"Ok, I'll let you know when I leave."

I go into the elevator and Sid walks toward the lounge to find his father. It's going to be a busy day but I can't stop thinking about Kris and Cath and how much pain that they are probably in right now. I wish that there was more we could do for them.

Sidney

As soon as we walk into the locker room, a few of the guys come directly to me to ask about Kris and Cath. My dad walks towards the coaches offices while I talk to them.

"How are they?" Sheary asks.

"Devastated" I use my mother's word from earlier. "Kris was just focused on taking care of Cath. Her family is coming down today so that will help them."

"He's not coming to practice?" Horny asks.

We all know Kris' work ethic and, if I'm honest, if her parents were already here then he probably would be at practice right now.

"No, he's going to stay with Cath."

"Alex at Duper's?" Flower asks me.

"Yeah, and he's already torturing Stella while Kody runs after them both" I tell him and Flower smiles.

I leave the guys and walk to the change room. I'm cutting it really close so I change, warm up and then dress quickly. No sooner am I stepping on the ice then coach begins practice. I suspect he started it a few minutes late to wait for me because he knows what I've been doing this morning.

Thankfully, after twelve years in the league, I've learned how to force everything out of my mind while I'm on the ice and focus solely on hockey. The practice shortly breaks up into power play and penalty kill so that we can run plays and then the coaches get us back together to play half-ice pp/pk.

The fast pace and competitive nature of the practice is exactly what I needed this morning after the last twenty four hours. First, there was all of that Rossi shit soon replaced with the tragic, and more important, emergency of the Letangs.

When I'm back at my stall, I take off my helmet, put on my cap and sit down. The questions begin and I answer them automatically. Thankfully, especially since it's not a game day, the scrum is over quickly. Everyone leaves me and moves on to other players but Potash stays back.

"How is Kris doing?" he asks me quietly. "Catherine?"

Dan has been reporting on the team for as long as I've been here. I know that his interest is personal.

"I guess as you'd expect Dan. Her family is flying in today which will help and Alex is with Duper's family."

"That's good. I know when we had a miscarriage, we wanted the other kids with us but needed to prepare for the questions."

"You and your wife had a miscarriage?"

"Yeah, we did. We got through it and they will too. It's just a painful process. If you're talking to Kris, please give him my best ok?"

"Will do Dan, thanks."

I guess you never know what people have gone through in their lives, even those you think you know really well. No sooner has Dan walked away then Adam walks up to me.

"Hey Sid. Anna asked if you can come up to her office in about thirty minutes. Mario will be here and he wants to talk to you" Adam tells me.

"Ok, thanks" I reply. Before he can walk away, I say "and thanks for coming in early to cover for Anna today."

"Of course Sid. No thanks needed."

He smiles and then walks away. I should really get to know him better. Sure, he works for Anna but she also considers him a friend.

After hanging up my gear, I go to the player's lounge and find my dad pouring a cup of coffee. He's alone, so walk up beside him.

"Dad, Mario's going to be here in about thirty minutes and we're going to meet in Anna's office, ok?"

"Ok kid, I'll be there."

We aren't having team meetings today so the coaches are doing individual video sessions with some of the guys. When they're done, I'll look at some video of the Ranger's penalty kill but that won't be for a few hours so I shower, dress and make it up to Anna's office with five minutes to spare. She's on the phone so I sit in a chair in her sitting area.

When Anna disconnects, I look up and she's taking a long drink from her Starbucks cup.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Better now" she says when she throws the now empty cup in the garbage. "There is so much to do."

"Like what?" I ask.

Anna leaves her desk and sits next to me.

"The list keeps getting longer." She sighs and then continues "I don't know when I'm going to pack up my stuff to take to your house."

"Our house" I tell her.

Anna smiles, at first it's shy but then it gets wider.

"Our house" she says back.

"Don't worry about the packing. We'll figure it out later and you can get a few things for the rest of the week for now. It's going to be crazy for the next couple of days so we can deal with the packing later, ok? I am very grateful that you're looking out for me."

"How grateful?" I ask.

I love the way she lifts one eye brow and gives me a smirk

"Maybe I'll be very, very grateful" she says.

Anna is about to say something more when dad walks in the door. That effectively stops that conversation.

We don't have any time to do more than greet my dad when Mario and Pat walk in, see us and Pat shuts the office door. Mario gives us a small smile and then sits down on the sofa with my dad. Pat takes an empty chair. After greetings, we wait for Mario to tell us about the meeting.

"Bottom line, we came to an understanding" Mario tells us. "It was painful to get there but he's agreed to stay away from writing about the personal lives of our employees unless it directly impacts hockey."

"What does that mean?" Anna asks. "Specifically, what constitutes 'directly impacts'?"

"The example I gave him was an injury. It could be considered personal because it's health but it affects the player and the team so it's considered fair game" Mario explains.

"That's fair" Anna replies.

They all look at me.

"I hate it" I say. "But it is fair."

"Good" Mario says.

"So we have a good result but what made it painful" dad asks.

"He was almost yelling when I just hinted that they should refrain from publishing on a particular topic. Thankfully we were in public, not an accident" Mario smiles as he says this. "So he managed his volume but his words were, well, let's call them biting. It took straight through ordering, eating our food and a third cup of coffee, to arrive at an agreement. Regardless, it's done."

I reach for Anna's hand and she grasps it quickly. We both only feel a small amount of relief because we know that's only part of the problem.

"It's to you now" Mario says to Anna.

"I'm ready" Anna says confidently.

I look at Anna and she is sitting straight in her chair, shoulders back and a smile on her face. She looks determined, almost eager, to take on Meaghan. It's a little terrifying and really, really hot.

We talk more about the meeting with Meaghan and options for Anna depending on how Meaghan reacts to the conversation. Pat advises on how to she can bend the law but not break it when 'threatening' Meaghan. If the conversation becomes public then it won't be good for any of us but at least it won't land anyone in jail. Hopefully we can count on Meaghan's need for self-preservation and her ambition to keep her mouth shut.

When the conversation wraps up, Mario, Pat and dad leave to go to lunch together. They ask us to join them but Anna tells them that we already have plans. I don't remember plans but I guess we have them.

Anna shuts the door when we're alone and quickly moves into my arms. Her lips attack mine, hard and fast, and it takes a few moments for me to catch up. Fortunately, I do, quickly. When we finally pull apart, we're both breathing heavy and I'm wondering if her door has a lock.

"I have a surprise" she tells me.

"You're full of surprises these days. Is it what I'm hoping it is?"

"It will feed hunger but not the one you may be thinking about" she tells me.

Anna moves behind her desk and picks up a picnic basket. I didn't know that anyone actually used these things outside of books and movies.

"Lunch" she says with a smile.

I smile back and watch her set up our lunch at the conference table. I pull out two bottles of water from the mini fridge and join Anna on the sofa.

"I couldn't be sure what time we'd be able to eat so I hope you're ok with sandwiches and salads" Anna says.

I guess Anna was really serious about having more fun and enjoying each other more. It's really touching that she went to all of this effort to organize lunch for us; especially given what how busy we've been the last twenty four hours.

"This is great" I assure her. "How did you manage it?"

Anna blushes, which is always incredibly cute, and says "I had one of the interns pick it up for me at the hotel."

"The hotel makes picnic lunches?"

"Well, no, but I asked really nicely" she answers and winks.

On her conference table, she lays out sandwiches with thick slices of turkey with avocado and tomato. There's also a huge spinach salad with a bunch of nuts, seeds and beets.

"Wow, you have everything, thanks babe."

Anna smiles "I texted Andy and asked him what you usually eat for lunch during the season. We almost never have lunch together so I really didn't know."

I lean over, cup her cheek and kiss her. The first one was so good that I go in for a few more. My stomach grumbles interrupting the moment.

"I guess your stomach approves" Anna teases me.

"I guess so."

As we eat, we chat about Christmas.

"What are your family traditions?" Anna asks me.

"Well, we invite friends over the day of Christmas Eve and have a huge party. It's easier now that I have the house. Everyone brings their kids and there are gifts from Santa for all of them."

"Santa Sidney?"

"Yeah, well, there are gifts for them" I know that I'm turning red but I can't help it. "A couple of years ago, I finally convinced my mother to let me have it catered. We started this party with her making the food, she insisted, but it became way too big and way too much work for her. She still makes Christmas dinner of course."

"What's for Christmas dinner?" Anna asks.

"I guess the usual; turkey, stuffing. Mom makes the best pecan pie, you'll think you died and went to heaven, oh, and pumpkin pie too. You'll definitely want to eat more than salad."

Anna smiles and looks down at her plate.

"It will be nice to have a great plate of carbs" she tells me and smiles.

"What do you want for Christmas?" I ask her.

"To have a family Christmas, just like you're describing, that's all I want."

"We'll have that" I tell her. "But what do you want, you know, like from Santa."

She chuckles.

"I really have everything I want Sidney." I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow so she continues. "Ok, fine, I don't know that there is something specific that I want. I guess, whatever you get me, I want you to choose it. Any gift will be special because it's from you."

From any other girl, I would roll my eyes because I'd know that her words were crap and she wants expensive jewellery; but, I know that these words from Anna are sincere and honest. I could probably get her a Pens tee shirt with my number on it and she'd be happy. Thankfully, I can do much better than that.

"Ok" I tell her. "I'll surprise you."

"Good" she smiles. "I already know what I'm getting you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

We continue eating and talk more about the holidays including decorating the house. It reminds me that Anna has never had a 'normal' Christmas. She's never 'decked the halls' with the family, or wrapped gifts or planned dinner. I suspect that, for her entire life, there has been staff to do everything for their family and her mother isn't the kind of woman to string popcorn with her kids. I'll have to talk to mom to make sure that we go all out for this Christmas. They tend to be on the smaller and quieter side when we do it in Pittsburgh but I want to do it up big this year. Not only will it be Anna's first 'real' Christmas; but, it's our first one together.

As we are cleaning up, Anna's phone rings and there's a knock at the door at the same time. She chuckles and answers her phone while walking to the door, opening it and moving back so that Adam can walk into the room. She holds up a finger to him while she walks to her desk. Adam sits beside me at the conference table.

"Hungry?" I ask and point to the remaining salad and fruit.

"No thanks, I had lunch" he tells me.

He looks at Anna and then back at me before speaking in a low voice.

"How is she?" Adam asks. "She seems to be handling everything ok but I want to know if there's anything I can do for her. Of course, if I ask her, then Anna will say no."

"Of course she would" I smile. "She actually is ok Adam and in large part to you. Thank you for being such a good friend to her."

I remind myself of my previous commitment to get to know Adam better and I have an idea.

"Adam" I begin. "On Christmas Eve Day, I have a party at the house with friends and family. I'd very much like you to join us and I know that Anna would love it too."

At first Adam only stares at me, eyes wide and mouth slack, but he then pulls himself together.

"That's great of you Sid. I'd love to come. Wow, that's really great" he tells me.

"Good" I say and stand when I notice that Anna has disconnected her call. I can tell that she's back to business again. "I need to go babe" I tell her.

Anna gives me a grateful smile and walks to me.

"That was Vero. She ordered groceries to be delivered to Cath's house because they're home and Vero doesn't think that we should actually go over there right now."

"Ok, whatever they need" I reply.

"Yeah, I'll text you later" she tells me. "I'll know in a couple hours what time I should be able to get out of here tonight."

"Ok" I kiss her cheek and then turn to Adam. "Bye."

Anna

"That was really cool of him" Adam tells me.

"What was cool of who?" I ask confused.

I don't understand what he's talking about and I'm also distracted watching Sid's butt as he walks away.

"Sid asked me to the Christmas party he has on the twenty-forth."

I'm surprised and very touched that Sid did.

"I hope you're coming" I tell him.

"Of course."

"Great, ok, let's start on that list I'm sure that you brought with you."

For the next hour, we work through the list that Adam did indeed bring with him.

"The last item is a request for an interview with Catherine and Kris Letang" Adam tells me.

"Seriously?!" I can't keep the shock out of my tone. "It hasn't even been twenty four hours and someone is already requesting an interview with them."

"That's what I thought too; but, it's a little bit different. Have you heard about the charity called Tommy's?"

"No."

"They focus on raising money for research into miscarriages, still births, and pregnancy health for all women. They were very clear to me that they didn't want to approach the Letangs right now. They called because they wanted us to know that if and when the family is ready to tell their story then Tommy's would be grateful to help them. The women said that she would never approach them so close to the tragedy, it's not often that they approach anyone at all, but to have someone so prominent tell their story can help others."

"What was your take on them?" I ask. "Was she spouting shit or sincere?"

"She seemed really sincere Anna. I mean, she could have gone to them directly or to Kris' agent but she came to us and asked our opinion. At first I thought it was a tactic but she was very genuine and kind. I agree that we should definitely wait but it might be worth mentioning to Kris at some point in the future. He was so outspoken in support of cardiac care after his stroke that I thought this might appeal to him when it's not so fresh."

"Good call Adam. Let Tommy's know that we will keep their request to ourselves for now; but, we will consider passing it on to the Letangs based on their healing."

"Ok, sounds good" he replies.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Yep, I know what I need to do to get Meaghan into the conference room without knowing that she's meeting with you. Are you ready?"

"I am, although I might explode if anyone else asks me that question again."

"Ok, ok, fine, we'll agree that you're ready" he says and chuckles.

I take a look at my watch and sigh. The day has completely gotten away from me and there's no way that I'm going to be able to pack up hotel room for the move to Sid's as I'd hoped.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks.

"Nothing really. It's just that I'm moving in with Sid and hoped to pack up my hotel room today. At the very least, I wanted to pack up enough clothes for a couple of days."

"I can go for you."

"Adam, no, that is so not part of your job, seriously. I appreciate the offer though."

"I'll send an intern."

I consider it but "I don't want an intern going through my underwear and picking out my clothes."

"I get it" he replies. "So give me the key and I'll pack enough for a couple of days for you. I don't mind, honestly. Consider it an offer from a friend and not part of my job."

He holds out his hand and raises an eyebrow. We stare at each other for a few minutes until I finally give in.

"Ok, fine" I tell him. "I really appreciate it."

I take out my card and give him a list of things that I need.

"Thanks Adam."

"You're welcome. If you're not here then I'll leave the bags behind your desk, ok?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Adam leaves and I check my calendar. I have a few minutes before my next meeting so I go down to ice level and find Troy in the player's lounge.

"You're still here" I say.

"Yeah, Sid's looking at film so I thought I'd take a few minutes and read the paper" he tells me. "Join me" he gestures to the chair beside him.

I sit beside Troy and sigh.

"Tired?" he asks.

"Yeah, unexpectedly. I got a good night's sleep but I didn't run this morning like I usually do."

"The stress will add to it. Everyone is sad for Kris and Cath."

"Have you heard from them or about them?" I ask.

"Yeah, I talked to Trina about an hour ago and Catherine's parents picked up Alex a few minutes before that. Cath and Kris were at home."

"I feel so bad for them" I tell him.

"No one should have to lose a child."

It's his last statement that causes an unexpected pain in my heart. Troy has lost a child, a grandchild, so he knows how it feels. I know that I promised myself that I'd let all of the guilty go but it's not that easy.

"Don't go there" Troy says as his hand gently takes mine. "You need to let that go Anna and move on. Ok?"

I don't need to ask what he's referring to because it's clear that we are both thinking about the abortion.

"I'm trying to" I tell him. "Will it ever stop hurting?"

"I don't know honey" he gently strokes my knuckles. "I really don't know. But I want you to know that we have moved past it, Trina and I, and we both want you to as well."

I look up and he's giving me a soft smile that I immediately recognize. Sid got his empathetic smile from his dad and it instantly comforts me.

"Ok, thank you."

We both hear guys laughing and getting closer to the lounge. Troy smiles, gives me one more squeeze and then releases my hand.

"Hi, what are you doing down here?" Sid asks me as he approaches us.

"I had a few minutes and thought I'd see if your dad was still here. You ready to go?" I ask.

"Yeah, dad you ready?"

"I am" Troy tells him and then turns to me. "We'll see you for dinner?"

"Definitely Troy" I tell him.

Troy kisses my cheek before walking a few feet away to chat with Sully.

"Do you need to go to the hotel to pick up clothes?" Sid asks me.

"As we discussed, I was hoping to pack up my stuff today but the schedule was blown to hell. Adam offered to pack a few things so that I have clothes for the next couple of days. I'll figure the rest later."

"Ok" he says and looks around. No one is looking at us so he gives me a quick kiss. "Do you want me to pick you up later?"

"No, I appreciate it, but I can take a cab. Don't come all the way back here for me, ok? I'll text when I'm leaving."

"Alright, bye."

He kisses me one more time and calls for his dad.

"Anna?"

I turn and see Pascal.

"Hi Pascal" I tell him and walk to him.

"Coffee?" he asks.

"Sure, thanks."

As he pours me a cup, he asks "have you heard from Tanger? I don't want to bother them to ask."

"I know what you must know. Cath's parents are in town and they picked up Alex from your house. Cath and Kris are at home but that's all I know. I've wanted to call but I don't want to intrude."

"Yeah, I get it. Me too. Carole-Lyn is going to text Cath later so I'll let you know if she responds. She figured that Cath can either answer it or ignore it depending on how she feels."

"That's a good idea. Thanks" I tell him.

"I heard a rumour that you've moved in with Sid" Pascal says with a wide smile.

"Rumour huh?" I joke right back.

"You know, a little birdy might have whispered something."

"A little birdy or was it a Flower?"

"Ok, fine, it might have been a Flower" he teases.

"Then the Flower is right. Yes, I've moved back in with Sid."

"I'm really happy for you both, really Anna. This is great."

"Thanks Pascal."

He is called from down the hall and we say goodbye. Before I can leave, Sully comes into the room and asks if I've heard from Kris. We talk more until I realize that I'm late for my meeting. I feel like I'm running late the rest of the day and it's 6pm when I finally have time to look at my watch.

I text Sid.

'I'm so sorry, the day got away from me'

I wait a few minutes but there is nothing back.

'I'm going to call a cab right now so I'll be home in about thirty minutes'

"You don't need to call a cab" I hear Sid say from the doorway.

"Sidney! What are you doing back here?"

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

I stand up, walk to the door and only stop when I'm directly in front of Sid. I take his cheeks in my hands and pull his face down to mine so that I can devour his lips. We're both short of breath when we pull apart.

"I guess you are happy to see me" Sid teases.

"A little bit I guess" I tell him.

"Let's go home" he says.

That reminds me.

"Shit, I never got my bag from Adam" I tell him.

"I told him not to go. I called the hotel and had them pack all of your things. They are currently in boxes and bags in our bedroom."

"You are the sweetest man alive" I kiss him softly one more time. "I like the sound of that."

"Sound of what?"

"Our bedroom."

"So do I" he says.

"Then let's go home. It is going to be a crazy day tomorrow."

Unfortunately, he's right.


End file.
